


Mothers know best

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunk Cheating, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 196,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18921118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together.After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.





	1. Retrouvailles

**Author's Note:**

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> This story was written for Meagan, who inspired this idea and motivated to keep writing with her reactions to every chapter I sent to her. 
> 
> I hope everyone else will enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

_= The feeling of joy when you are reunited with a loved one after a long separation (French)_

 

At the age of 27 years, she had already called five cities her home, but just now as the train was coming into the central terminal, Felicity realized that only one of them had ever really felt like home to her.

Felicity smiled softly, thinking back to the last time she had been in Starling City. She couldn’t even remember if it had been three or four years since that last time. She just knew that it had been a too damn long time. She might have only realized now how much she had really missed this place, but the dull aching she had felt all the time could have and probably should have hinted her at it already.

As the train eventually came to a stop, Felicity pushed her book into her purse and got up. After the long hours she had spent sitting and lying here, she needed to stretch herself for a moment until her joints felt like they were really back in place where they belonged. She grabbed her travel bag, grateful that she had decided to send most of her baggage to Starling already, so she had only needed to take this one bag with her.

With one last look around to make sure that she hadn’t forgotten anything, Felicity left her cabin. She felt her legs shaking slightly and her heart beating wildly as she stepped outside into the corridor. The closer she came towards the nearest doors, the more erratic her heart was beating until her face felt like it was burning and all she could hear was the rushing of blood in her ear.

When Felicity stepped into the door, she took a brief moment to look around. She tried to orientate herself or to find a familiar face, but she didn’t have enough time to take a really thorough look. Behind her, the next people are already urging her to hurry up. Felicity just rolled her eyes and gulped down whatever response had already been on the tip of her tongue.

In her memories, the people of Starling hadn’t been as impatient as the people in Central City or Gotham. Maybe her mind had just turned her memory to make it look like that though, painting Starling City even more beautiful simply because she had missed it so much.

She went down the three steps until she was down on the track. Stepping aside to make room for the others, she took another look around. Felicity frowned slightly when she didn’t find her mother, who had promised to pick her up.

Usually, Donna Smoak was hard to overlook or overhear. With her extraverted self, she attracted attention whether or not she wanted it. Over the many years, Felicity had learned to get used to it though she couldn’t say that she had ever learned to particularly like it.

Taking another look around, Felicity’s frown deepened. She had almost believed that her mother would just run up to her and fall round her neck with a shrilling squeal the moment she saw her. Her mother was just known for these kinds of appearances. In her childhood, Felicity had often felt embarrassed by them.

With a low sigh, Felicity realized that her mother was probably just late which wasn’t uncommon for her either. She couldn’t deny that she was a little disappointed that this was how her return to Starling was starting, but she knew she couldn’t change anything about it anyway, so she strolled over to the nearest bench and sat down there. Grabbing her phone from her purse, she started texting her mother that had arrived in Starling now. Before she could send the text, her phone vibrated in her hand with an incoming text.

 **OQ:** Look up.

Felicity didn’t need to be told twice. She lifted her gaze and looked around intently. She frowned as she still couldn’t see a familiar face. She was holding out for one face in particular, one that was just as hard to overlook as her mother’s whole appearance, but it wasn’t there.

 **OQ:** More to the left.

Unable to bite back her amusement, Felicity smiled at the text. She turned more to the left.

 **OQ:** My left. Sorry!

Chuckling, Felicity turned to her left now, texting him back at the same time.

 **FS:** You have always had problems distinguishing between left and right.

 **OQ:** Shut up, Smartass, or you can walk home!

When Felicity lifted her gaze from that last text message, she saw him a couple of feet away from her. Her heart stood still, and her breathing faltered. For a moment, the world seemed to stop spinning just so she got a moment to take him in.

Oliver Queen was leaning against a pillar with one hand pushed into the pocket of his leather jacket and one hand holding his phone. There was a nonchalance in his posture that would look lazy on so many, but it appeared to be so natural to him. His face was angled down as he was probably waiting for her to reply. Yet, she could see the soft smile playing around his lips.

Slowly, the earth started to spin again. Oliver lifted his gaze and his eyes found hers immediately. There was a glimpse of something Felicity couldn’t describe, probably the same unfathomable feeling of joy she was feeling, in his eyes before the smile on his lips spread all over his face.

With a shrilling squeal that she actually surprised herself with, Felicity started running towards Oliver. She dropped her bag to the floor carelessly halfway. With enough swing to make Oliver stumble back two steps, she threw herself at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pulled herself as close to him as possible, so her feet dangled several inches over the ground.

“And you say you don’t want to be like your mother.”

With a chuckle, Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close to him. While Felicity angled her head forward and breathed him in, Oliver swayed from side to side slightly. It almost felt like they were dancing only that there was no music and of course Oliver Queen would never dance.

Felicity remembered the last time she had seen Oliver again after a long time. He had come to Central City to visit her and had taken an earlier flight to surprise her. When he had hugged her from behind and lifted her, Felicity had been so startled that she had lunged out and pushed her elbow into his ribs, fracturing two of them as the x-ray at the hospital had proved later on. Compared to that, this reunion was a lot gentler.

When Oliver set her down eventually, he tightened his arms around her body once more before they released her eventually. Felicity took a step back, smiling at Oliver for a brief moment before she slapped his chest playfully.

“Aw!” Oliver said, frowning at her. “What was that for?”

“For implying that my mother and I are even remotely similar,” Felicity replied and slapped his chest once more quickly. “And that was for calling me a smartass.”

Oliver frowned at her angrily. He wasn’t able to keep up his pretense for long though. Soon, he had to chuckle and shook his head. He put his hands to her shoulders for a moment, holding her at arm’s length and looking at her, before his fingers started combing through the ends of her blonde hair as he watched her face closely.

“Your hair is shorter,” he said eventually. “And you are wearing glasses now.”

Felicity chuckled, rolling her eyes slightly. “You already knew that.”

“Yes, but it’s different seeing it live,” Oliver replied. “It makes it more real.”

As Oliver continued taking her in, letting his gaze drift up and down her body thoroughly as if he was trying to take in all of her. No matter how long they had known each other now and now close they were, Felicity couldn’t prevent a dark red blush to spread on her cheeks. She bit down on her bottom lip, waiting for Oliver to say something.

“You look even better than you did before,” Oliver concluded eventually. “Oh, and way better than back in your Goth-Time of course.”

Felicity groaned. “That is years ago and we said we were never going to talk about it again.”

“I know.” Oliver chuckled. “But I couldn’t resist. Honestly, living at the other end of the US really wasn’t good for your styling at first. Don’t worry though. Now you’re back with me. You are safe.”

“Says Mr. Creeper-Hair.”

“Creeper-Hair?”

“What would you call that gross haircut – if we can even call it a haircut – that you had in high school?” Felicity asked. “And unlike me, you didn’t have the excuse of living alone at the other end of the country.”

“I was in a difficult time of my life.”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow. “Difficult time? Because you only got one cabrio for your birthday instead of two?”

Oliver narrowed his eyes at her. “When are you leaving again?”

“Never if it annoys you,” Felicity said with laughter. “I will stay at your side and annoy you until we are old and wrinkled.”

Oliver didn’t reply immediately. He took her in, smiling so widely that it was taking over his entire face. His eyes were sparkling with joy and even his short stubble couldn’t hide the dimples that were showing on his cheeks.

“Yeah?” he asked then, his voice low.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Oliver said and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and waist as he pulled her into another tight hug. “Because I really missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Felicity released a sigh, snuggling up to Oliver’s chest and closing her eyes. As much as she and Oliver loved to tease and annoy each other, they always knew it was just fun. They had been friends for so long that sometimes, when they were together, it felt like they were children again. Some people might think it was ridiculous, but to Felicity it just felt refreshing and freeing.

As a short blonde, that had a penchant for skirts and dresses and that was working in STEM which was still a terrible male-dominated area, she had to fight every single day to be taken seriously. She knew that she always had to work at least double as hard to get the same respect any of her male colleague were getting. She had learned long ago to deal with those problems and do what she had to do to be taken seriously.

When she was with Oliver, it was different though. They worked in the very same field, but they had two completely different perspectives. Even if they had, she knew that she didn’t have to prove herself to him. Oliver knew about her smartness and her set of skills. It was why she could just let loose around him and be silly with him.

Smiling to herself, Felicity breathed him in and noticed that he had changed his parfum or whatever was this slightly thick scent beneath the scent of his skin. It amused her a little that she noticed the change and even more than she was surprised by it. After several years that she hadn’t seen him, she shouldn’t be surprised that he had switched to another scent. She had done the same several times over the years.

It didn’t matter how thoroughly she and Oliver had stayed in touch, it was different now that they were back in each other’s arms. It was a good feeling, indescribably good even. Seeing Oliver again had been one of the things she had been most excited about since she had known that she would return to Starling. No matter how long she had been away and how many people she had met that were much more similar to her, nobody had ever been as good a friend as Oliver was.

“What a beautiful couple. Don’t they remind you of us back when we were that young?”

Felicity lifted her head from Oliver’s shoulder and turned her head. An old lady was walking by. She had her arm linked with the arm of an old man, who was walking next to her. Felicity looked around, trying to find what the lady was looking at. It took her a moment until she noticed that it was Oliver and her.

“Oh, no, we are- we aren’t together.”

When Felicity turned back to the lady, she was shaking her head firmly. She wanted to explain the truth, but the couple had already gone away.

“We are not together!” Felicity called after them half-heartedly. “We are just friends!”

“Let’s just forget about this,” Oliver suggested with a chuckle. “I’ll get your bag before the security comes and arrests us because they think we are bombing the station.”

While Oliver already went to grab her bag from where she had dropped it to the floor carelessly, Felicity looked back at the old couple one more time. They were leaning on each other as they continued their way through the station, almost like seeing her and Oliver together and feeling reminded of their own youth had just caused them to grow a little bit closer. The thought was kind of sweet though it was completely surreal at the same time.

Releasing another sigh, Felicity followed Oliver to where he was standing with her bag over his shoulder and said, “Well, at least we can tell our mothers that in the minds of an old couple, we are the perfect reminder of how their love story began. I think that is as close as they will ever come to having the two of us being together.”

Oliver chuckled and rested his arm around Felicity’s shoulders as he led her to the exit. Felicity smiled, leaning into his side and wrapping her arms around his middle. Her head came to rest against his shoulder once more.

“Speaking of mothers,” she said eventually, angling her head back to look his face. “I thought my mom was supposed to pick me up.”

“Yeah, well, I had to fight her on who got to pick you up. Eventually, I managed to knock her down and shackle her though, so she couldn’t come.” Oliver grinned at her. “I guess that means that I am the knight in shining armor who takes you home.”

Felicity snorted. “You mean my knight in shining armor that came late in the typical Queen-fashion, right?”

“Actually,” Oliver replied, stressing the word, “I left home particularly early to pick you up. Then I arrived at the airport and saw that no flight from Gotham was landing until tonight, so I called your mother. Now picture my surprise when I heard that you were taking the train.”

“You know I am afraid of flights.”

“Felicity,” Oliver growled her name and knocked his fist against her head. “Airplanes work just through tech, and you love tech. It’s reliable. It’s calculable. It’s safe.”

“Yes, the tech is,” Felicity agreed. “The people operating it aren’t.”

Felicity knew it wasn’t worth the time or even the breath to try convince her that flying was a safe way to travel. She knew that the people that were flying planes were trained well and knew about the responsibility they had. She even knew that the least accidents happened when traveling by plane. Her fear was irrational, always had been. Not even reasoning or especially no reasoning could help her overcome it.

Oliver released a long sigh. “You are hopeless, my friend.”

Felicity chuckled. “Just because I preferred a three days long train ride over a six-hour flight?”

“Yeah, just because of that,” Oliver replied with a chuckle and kissed the top of her head. “I am still glad you are back here.”

“I am glad too.”

They continued their way in silence for a while. There was no need to say anything. Holding each other close as the left the station was all they really needed right now. They had known each other long enough for silence not to become awkward.

“You didn’t come with your Harley, did you?” Felicity asked when he led her out of the train station and towards the parking lot. “Because I really don’t want to even get near it.”

Oliver chuckled. “Don’t worry. My _Ducati_ is at home.”

“Oh, excuse me,” Felicity said, rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. “I didn’t mean to offend one of your babies.”

“Do I have to remind you that you haven’t talked to me for a weak when I called your x-axis whatever it was a virus?”

“It was my first really good x-axis bi-numeric algorithm,” Felicity said, “and I was only eight. You just rained all over my parade. I mean even your father was highly impressed, and it was so hard to get a compliment from him. I mean he was always warm and always acknowledged my effort, but that was the first time he really praised me and the result of my work.”

Felicity smiled at the memory. She still remembered Robert words. He had put his hand on her shoulder and had told her that he was foreseeing great things from her. For days, she had smiled like a Cheshire Cat and talked about nothing else. That Robert had introduced her to some of his employees, asking them to show her around Queen Consolidated, and that he had made sure that she got the best laptop that had been available at that time had made it only more perfect. From that moment on, she had done her best to learn something new every day. She had never wanted to disappoint him.

“He just tried to challenge you because he knew that there was more in you than you knew.” Oliver stopped in front of a silver Porsche and opened the trunk. “As to our plans for the rest of the day, I have to warn you that our mothers insisted that I take you to right to my parents’ mansion, so you can tell them everything you plan to do with the next ten years of your life. I hope you brought a Powerpoint to impress them.”

Felicity groaned. She loved her mother, and she loved Moira Queen. She was very close to both of them, and they were both strong women in their own unique ways. Still, she had hoped for something easier to do than sitting down with both of them and discussing her future with these unlikely friends today. Running a marathon for example sounded nice.

“I had hoped to get some food and just be able to slip into bed then,” Felicity explained, scrunching up her nose. “I have been in a train for three days and the short stay at the hotel in Chicago doesn’t count.”

“Good thing you got me then.”

Oliver lifted her travel bag into the trunk of the ca and closed it before he turned towards to her. He smiled proudly. It made Felicity smile and perk up her eyebrows in response.

“So what? You are not going to take me to them?”

“No, I won’t,” Oliver replied and shook his head. He tapped his forefinger against the tip of her nose. “Being the good friend that I am, I am going to abduct you.”

Felicity grinned. “I am a willing hostage. Take me wherever you want to take me.”

“Good.” Oliver’s grin widened. “Get in the car.”

She should have known that Oliver had her back because he always had her back. It had started with protecting her from peanut brownies when they had been kids over the bullies in middle school up to the pushing questions of their mothers now. He really was the best friend she could wish for.

Felicity got into the Porsche. She sat down in the passenger seat and put on her seatbelt. She remembered Oliver’s driving well enough to know that a seatbelt was the least she could do to get out of there safe. Maybe Oliver would surprise her with a more controlled way of driving, but she didn’t want to take any risks.

“So,” Felicity asked, turning towards Oliver and perking up her eyebrows, when he got into the car too, “where are you taking me?”

Oliver fastened his seatbelt and turned on the engine. He directed the car out of the parking lot with a speed that made Felicity’s hand clenched around the handhold at the door. She already knew that as much as she and Oliver might have changed, his style of driving was certainly still the same.

“What do you think?” Oliver asked, cocking his head at her. “To our place of course.”

 

* * *

 

Looking back over his shoulder to where Felicity was following him, Oliver grinned. Sometimes it still felt weird that they had grown into such close friends, especially because Oliver still remembered the first thought that had crossed his mind when his mother had sat him down in the living room and explained that a good friend of hers and her little girl were going to live with them for a short while.

_Why does it have to be a girl?_

From their first meeting on, Felicity had proved to be anything but the usual glitter-loving girls he had known from his mother’s other friends though. Instead of dolls and toy kitchens, she had rather played with his robots and whatever tech toys he had owned. While Oliver couldn’t say that he had been happy to share his toys with a girl, especially a girl that was a year younger than him, he had soon seen the perks of it because Felicity had known quite well how to improve his toys. She had made them quicker and better, stealing stuff from tech devices all over the house to achieve her improvements. It had taken two weeks for his father to notice where all the missing stuff has disappeared.

Two months after Donna and Felicity had moved in with them, they had moved into their own home. By that time, he and Felicity had already been best friends, so they had made sure that they would see each other every day after school.

Oliver grinned to himself. Just like their mothers’ friendship, the friendship between him and Felicity was a quite unlikely one. They were so different from one another that there probably weren’t many people who thought they could actually be friends for long. Even Tommy Merlyn, who had been Oliver’s best friend back in his early childhood, had only snorted and stated that it would never replace the bond he had shared with Oliver. He couldn’t have been more wrong as Oliver and Felicity’s still lasting friendship had proved all doubts wrong.

“I wish you would have let me taken my phone with us,” Felicity said with a groan. “At least that way I could check the coordinates and make sure that we really are walking in the right direction.”

“Don’t worry. I know exactly where we are going. Besides, our mothers would just call us every five minutes and being the good daughter that you are, you would eventually give in and meet with them.”

“I am not that good of a daughter,” Felicity replied, rolling her eyes. “It’s just that, compared to you, I was just looking like an angel.”

Oliver chuckled, turning to the right. As soon as he noticed that the scrub that they had been fighting their way through for the past minutes was only growing thicker, Oliver sighed. He guessed it had been a lot easier to get to their place when they had been children. With a smaller body, they had been able to easily sneak through any gaps in the scrub though Oliver remembered faintly that it hadn’t been easy years back either. He had come home with ripped clothes and scratches all over his arms and legs so often that he had probably looked like he had tried to fight with a porcupine.

“Are you really sure we are right here?”

Oliver chuckled. “Of course I know we are right.”

Pushing away some more branches, he continued to push through the thick scrub. He glanced back over his shoulder to see that Felicity was still following close after him. If the expression on her face was any indication, she wasn’t particularly happy about it. She was looking around with doubting eyes. Obviously, she had no trust in his sense of direction.

“In a couple of seconds, we will reach the big fallen trunk. We climb over it and turn to the right. If we get through the little bit of scrub there, we will reach the little trail that will lead us right to our place.”

“I don’t know, Oliver.”

“Well, I know,” Oliver replied firmly. “Have a little trust in me.”

“I would, but then I remember that day we got lost here in the forest because you didn’t find the way home and our parents had to organize a search party to find us.”

Oliver chuckled to himself and shot another look back over his shoulder to Felicity to see her smiling too. As scared as they might have been when the sun had gone down and they had still been in the middle of the Queen Forest behind his parents’ mansion with no idea how to get home, it had turned into an amusing memory a long time ago. For two ten-year-olds, telling a story about how they had gotten lost in the forest had been quite exciting after all. They had just skipped the part about how the adults had saved them and instead made up their own ending. They had been the stars in school, at least for a short time.

Only their parents hadn’t seen it so lightly that soon. They had forbidden them to come here without an adult ever again, so Oliver and Felicity had been forced to find creative ways to sneak out here. Nothing could have kept them away from here or from each other for too long.

Just like Oliver had told Felicity, it really didn’t take long until they reached the fallen trunk. They climbed over it and pushed through the scrub behind it. Oliver pushed away some branches with prickles to let Felicity through before he pushed through it himself.

“Ha!” he exclaimed triumphantly the moment he stepped onto little trail. “I told you I knew the way.”

Felicity just sighed, admitting defeat. With a little frown, she turned around to him then. Oliver perked up his eyebrows at the slightly insecure expression on Felicity’s face. He remembered that face from high school when she had wanted to correct his Math homework, but she hadn’t been sure if it was okay to ask him. His little nerd of a best friend just hadn’t been able to take wrong Math homework, even if it wasn’t her own.

“Are you even sure it’s still there?” she asked eventually, pushing her hands into her jeans jacket. “We haven’t been there for nine years.”

“Of course it’s still there,” Oliver replied with firm voice and frowned because that thought honestly never occurred to him. “It has to be.”

Without saying a word, they followed the trail further into the forest. Oliver smiled at all the childhood memories this trail held. He remembered how he and Felicity had regularly ran a race to their place or how he had given her a piggyback ride when she had sprained her ankle during a PE lesson. Another time, Oliver had stumbled over a root during their race, and he hadn’t been able to walk anymore. Felicity had run back to his home, had gotten a handcart and pulled him all the way home.

Oliver shook his head in disbelief. He had never forgotten any of these things. It had been a long time since he had thought about them consciously though.

As soon as they followed the turn the trail was taking, Oliver could already see it. He stopped and felt Felicity stopping next to him too. Neither of them said a word as they took a moment to look at their tree house. Oliver’s grandfather had built it with them the years before he had died. Since that summer, Oliver and Felicity had been here as often as possible.

“I told you it’s still there, and I told you I’d find it,” Oliver said, leaning a little closer to Felicity and bumping his shoulder against hers playfully. “You and your trust issues.”

Felicity shot him a brief glance before she grabbed the ladder and started climbing up there. Oliver watched her, partly because he felt it might be safer to wait down here, so he could catch her in case one of the steps broke and partly because he just wanted to watch her for a moment longer.

It had only been meant as joke when he had said that she had trust issues, but the truth was that she actually had all reason to have trust issues. Her father had left her and her mother overnight when she had been five years old. One morning, they had woken up and he had just been gone. He hadn’t left a message or given any explanation. He had just taken all the money the family had had left and had disappeared.

In consequence, Donna Smoak had been left to raise her daughter alone with no job and no money left. Being the strong woman that she was, she had tried her best to bring her daughter through. She had taken a job in a casino, working as a sparely dressed cocktail waitress every night. Even that hadn’t been enough to save them their roof over their heads. Only three months after Noah Kuttler had left the family, Donna and Felicity had been kicked out of their homes.

All of that just because her father had left without having the decency of making sure his daughter and her mother would be able to afford the basic necessaries. That Felicity still had trust in any man seemed like a miracle to Oliver.

“Daydreaming much?” Felicity asked, looking down from the treehouse at Oliver. “Or did you already fall asleep?”

Oliver chuckled. “I was just making sure it was safe up there before I followed you.”

He followed Felicity into the treehouse easily. There was little to no doubt that the treehouse had seen better days, but Oliver had to admit that it didn’t look as bad as he had feared. His grandfather had known exactly what to do to make the place last for at least as long as Felicity and Oliver’s friendship.

Walking around the small cabin slowly, Oliver let his fingers brush against the wood panels until his fingertips touched the scratches he had been looking for. Smiling, he looked at the letters they had carved in there. _O & F_ for _Oliver & Felicity_. His grandfather had suggested to carve in a heart around their letters, but he and Felicity had denied that firmly. _We are just friends, Grandpa!_

“Do you think our secret supplies are still there?” Oliver asked eventually, nodding towards the chest at the opposite wall. “We never took them away, did we?”

“No,” Felicity replied with a smile. “I am actually sure that we refilled it the last time we came here right before I left for MIT.”

Felicity opened the chest and it, indeed, held everything they had put there years ago. Oliver took the blanket and spread it on the floor for them to sit down there. He made himself comfortable already, leaning back against the wall and stretching out his legs. Meanwhile, Felicity searched through the drinks and sweets they had put there. She closed the chest without taking out any of them.

“I’d say we planned on coming here a lot sooner because the drinks and food reached their pull dates years ago.”

“It just proves that it’s been too long since you’ve been here the last time,” Oliver said with a sigh, “at least for long enough to take the time to come here with me.”

“True,” Felicity said with a sigh and smiled softly when she sat down cross-legged on the other side of the blanket. “We haven’t seen each other often in the last years, at least not live.”

“We had some great video calls though.”

“It’s not the same.” Felicity shook her head. “It’s not the same at all.”

Oliver nodded his head. Since chats, calls and video calls had been their only chance to stay in touch, they had done so. It hadn’t been nearly as satisfying as sitting down in their treehouse together and share secrets.

Okay, admittedly, they hadn’t shared secrets here since they had been children. As juveniles, they had rather used the treehouse to escape their parents and just listen to music. Well, in Felicity’s case, it had been more like studying without having her mother tell her to stop sticking her nose into books and go outside to live her life.

Anyway, living at different sides of the US just hadn’t been the same.

“Do you remember when my mom wanted to ground me after we got lost that day, and we swore each other that we would meet up here and run away together?” Felicity asked eventually, smiling at Oliver reverently. “We might have been a little bit melodramatic.”

“What?” Oliver grinned and put his hand on his heart. “Your mother was about to separate us for a whole week. If that was no reason to run away, what else would have?”

Felicity laughed wholeheartedly. “Okay, if you see it like that.”

In their childhood, being separated from each other for even just a day would have indeed been a nightmare for them. If someone had glued them together with superglue, they wouldn’t have stuck together more. There just hadn’t been a possible more to their friendship.

Oliver remembered how excited he had been when Felicity had been allowed to skip third grade which had led her to get into her classes. Apart form the fact that he had benefited from her smartness and her strict gazes whenever he had tried to fool around in class, it had also made him have a lot more fun in school. It had been the only time he had really enjoyed school.

Unfortunately, it hadn’t lasted long enough. Felicity had been allowed to skip tenth grade too. As much as she had tried to fight it because she had rather stayed with Oliver, she had given in after all. They had seen each other in every break instead. It had still been good, even if not as good as it could have been.

“So, how many women did you take here for a romantic something while I was gone?”

“A romantic something?” Oliver asked, perking up an eyebrow.

Felicity rolled her eyes which he knew she had to do a lot when they were hanging out together and said, “You know what I mean.”

Oliver grinned. He loved teasing Felicity and seeing how her patience was slowly fading and she was getting annoyed. It just amused him for reasons he wasn’t even sure of.

“I haven’t been here since the last time you have been here either,” he replied eventually and shrugged his shoulders. “This is our place, and we swore each other not to take anyone else here twenty years ago. I never broke that promise.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, watching him closely. “Not a single time?”

Oliver shook his head, holding her gaze. “Not a single time.”

He couldn’t deny that, when they had still been in high school, he had thought about it sometimes. He just felt like it wasn’t fair. Bringing someone here would feel like he was betraying their friendship. This was his and Felicity’s place after all.

Now that they were sitting here together again, Oliver realized how quickly time had passed. As long as the last years had felt at time, looking back it had really all passed so fast. One moment they had been kids, dreaming of a wild future where they would travel around the world and now they were adults.

It was a pity that he and Felicity had never traveled around the world like they had wanted to. There had been so many places they had wanted to see. Then Felicity had left high school at the age of sixteen and she had been pushed to learn as much as she could and as fast as she could. She had been to MIT and she worked for the most successful companies to gather more experience. There had been no times for traveling the world together anymore.

“Oliver?”

“Hm?”

“You’re staring at me.”

Oliver had to blink several times before he could look away. He hadn’t even noticed that he had started staring at her. Chuckling, his closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face.

“I still can’t believe you are moving back here,” he said when he lifted his face from his hands and looked at Felicity again. “Honestly, if I had known that all it was taking to get you back was a good job at QC, I would have told my father to hire you years ago. Not that he needed to told to hire you. He wanted to do so years ago.”

“He even tried to hire me years ago,” Felicity replied, “I just wasn’t ready to come back yet.”

“But now you are?”

“I am here, right?” Felicity shrugged her shoulders and released a long sigh. “It was a hard decision between here and Gotham. My probation period there went really great. Bruce will forever hold a grudge against Robert and you for stealing me away from him.”

“I can live with Bruce’s grudges, especially with my best friend at my side.”

Felicity smiled. “It’s kind of weird we stayed friends for all these years, isn’t it? We haven’t seen each other in person in two years because something always came in between.”

Oliver frowned. “Yeah, but we stayed in touch so much. Honestly, I spent more time on the phone than in bed, I guess. I mean we were miles apart, but we still told each other everything.”

At his words, Oliver bit down on the inside of his tongue and lowered his eyes. He had told Felicity everything he had been able to tell her on the phone. There had been one rather recent development in his life that he hadn’t talked to her about though. He hadn’t felt like the phone was the right way to do it, and with they day of her moving here approaching quickly, Oliver had decided to just wait until she was here to tell her.

Just when Oliver was about to admit that there was something that he hadn’t told her yet, Felicity cleared her throat. Oliver looked at her quickly and frowned when he saw that she had her bottom lip pulled between her front teeth. A glimpse of guilt was visible in her eyes.

“Have you kept a secret from me, Felicity?” Oliver asked teasingly.

Felicity puckered her lips and cocked her head. She was looking at him with an innocent expression in her eyes, but Oliver could see right through it. He knew that face too well from all the times she had stolen French Fries from his plate instead of ordering her own.

“I guess I haven’t been the only one who has kept a secret then.”

“You too?”

“Kind of,” Oliver admitted, “but just because I didn’t want to tell you on the phone.”

“It’s the same with my secret,” Felicity replied quickly, “and I gotta start because-“

“No, I have to go first.”

“-I have been dying to tell you and-“

“I really can’t wait.”

“I can’t wait either.”

There was a beat of silence. Only their heavy breathing was to be heard. Their eyes were locked onto each other intently.

“I am engaged!” they said at the same time and both looked at each other in surprise. “You too?”

“I didn’t even know you have a boyfriend.”

“You proposed to McKenna?”

“Why so fast?”

“When did that happen?”

“Who is it?”

Stopping, they both stared at each other before they started laughing. As good as they were at telling each other everything and listening to whatever their friends had to say, there had always been moments like these when they had been dying to tell the other something. It always ended in a situation like this when they were both talking to each other without having an actual conversation.

Pressing his lips together, Oliver crawled forward and sat down right in front of Felicity. He mirrored her position, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, so he was leaning forward slightly.

“Okay, you start,” Felicity suggested. “Tell me everything about you and McKenna.”

“There isn’t much to tell. We have been together for almost two years now. I felt like it was right to propose.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. He had never been particularly talkative. Telling long stories wasn’t something he was good at or was even interested in. Besides, he was much more interested in hearing who had managed to convince Felicity to get married to her.

In all the years they had been friends, Felicity hadn’t had a lot of boyfriends. She had been with a guy named Cooper in high school, and they had been together for the first time in college. After a couple of years, the relationship had ended though. After that, she had loosely dated two guys whose names Oliver couldn’t remember. According to Felicity, all relationships had ended on good terms. For Oliver, neither of the guys had been good enough for her anyway.

“So, what about you?” Oliver asked. “From single to fiancée in such a short time?”

Felicity chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. “Yes, admittedly things between me and my boyfriend did develop quite fast.”

Oliver smiled. He knew that Felicity was rather cautious when it came to relationships and her opinion on marriage as a kind of relationship you couldn’t leave so easily if it didn’t work anymore and that might make you dependent in a way was low. After the consequences her father’s sudden departure had had for her and her mother, Oliver wasn’t surprised that she just wasn’t throwing herself into something head over heels. The more surprised he was that she had taken this step so quickly all of a sudden.

“And how exactly did that happen?” Oliver asked. “Like you said, it did go quite fast.”

“Well, we just fell for each other quickly. Then we got together. We got on a nice vacation in Paris a couple of weeks later and he proposed to me there.”

“And you said yes?”

It hadn’t been meant to be question, but Oliver couldn’t prevent it from sounding like one nonetheless. He just couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Yes.” Felicity chuckled. “I know it’s a shock.”

“Kind of,” Oliver admitted, but he smiled at her softly, “but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy.”

“I am.”

Felicity nodded and the smile on her face showed that she couldn’t be lying. She really was happy, and that was all he had ever wanted for her. She deserved some happiness and love.

“So?” Oliver rubbed his hands together. “Who’s the lucky guy that won your heart?”

At the strangled sound that escaped Felicity and the way she looked at him, Oliver laughed.

“Oh my! It has to be bad if you look at me like that.”

“He’s actually not bad at all,” Felicity replied after a moment and cleared her throat. “I mean he’s handsome. He’s smart and well-educated. He is also very much into sports, so I am sure that you two will easily find a common ground.”

“I already have a training partner, thanks,” Oliver said quickly. “Now, don’t make it that thrilling. Who is it?”

“Uhm, so…” Felicity cleared her throat. “You know him of course. He’s from Starling City and went to the same schools we did. I met him again in May when I was in Chicago for S.T.A.R. Labs and he was there for a congress.”

It took Oliver a moment to put the pieces of the puzzle together. He usually tried to forget absolutely everything that he was told about that man. Obviously, he wasn’t very successful with it. He could even still hear his mother’s voice in his head when she had told him about that super-important congress Carter Bowen had been invited to.

“Please don’t say Carter Bowen,” he murmured under his breath.

“He’s a neurosurgeon here at Starling General.”

“Please, not Carter Bowen,” Oliver murmured a little louder now.

“He has also written a book that has recently been published. It’s a specialist book on a certain kind of brain tumor that’s frequent with children nowadays.”

“Oh my god, it’s really Carter.”

Groaning, Oliver let his head fall into his hands. His fingernails scratched over his stubbled cheeks while he was shaking his head in disbelief.

In his entire life, Oliver had bandied maybe five words with Carter Bowen. Just from those few words, he could have maybe even become friends with him. He had seemed like a decent guy. Unfortunately, all those years his mother had praised Carter Bowen like he was the golden child, someone Oliver should strive with, had made it impossible to like him though.

Even now that Oliver was a responsible adult who was about to take over his father’s company, a heritage he had worked for very hard, he could still hear his mother’s voice in his ear. _Carter Bowen just won the national chess championship. Carter Bowen is anchoring the debate team. Carter just got accepted into Harvard and Princeton. Carter got a perfect score on his SATs_.

Of course his mother was denying that she had ever made such a fuss about Carter Bowen, but it seemed like she had just forgotten about all the times she had praised him. Oliver knew that her mother hadn’t meant anything bad by it. She had just wished for Oliver to be a little more like Carter, who had always been the prototype of the perfect son. He had just achieved that image long before Oliver himself had.

“Aren’t you talking to me anymore now?”

Oliver spread his fingers that were still resting over his face. He blinked at Felicity. She had her head cocked ad her bottom lip pushed forward slightly. She was always using that cute face when she wanted him to forgive her to stop pouting. It always worked.

With a sigh, Oliver grabbed her hands and squeezed her fingers. Felicity smiled at the gesture.

“I am happy for you,” he said honestly, “and I will do my best to learn to like him though you are really asking a lot from me.”

Felicity’s smile spread all over her face now. She got up on her knees and cupped his cheeks with her hands. Turning his head slightly, she brushed her lips against his cheek in a chaste kiss of gratitude.

Oliver doubted that Felicity had honestly believed that he wouldn’t respect her decision or try to dissuade her from the wedding. She knew him better than anyone else, and she knew that he couldn’t say no to her. It was impossible.

When Felicity sat back down on her heels, Oliver continued to hold her hands in his. His thumbs stroked over the knuckles of her hands slowly.

“You know, I am surprised our mothers didn’t tell me about your engagement yet,” Oliver said with a frown. “I would have thought your mother would tell my mother, and she would use that new possibility to tell me about Carter Bowen’s unbelievable achievement. I can already hear her. _Did you hear that, Oliver? Carter Bowen not only won over Felicity’s heart. He also convinced her that marriage isn’t that bad after all. Isn’t he the best?_ ”

Felicity cocked her head at his words and Oliver sighed. It would be difficult to change that, but he would do his best.

“Actually, I haven’t told my mother yet,” Felicity replied. “I wanted you to be the first to know.”

Oliver smiled. “Yeah, I wanted you to be the first I tell about my engagement too.”

Felicity nodded before she released a sigh. “I guess we will have to tell them now though.”

“Yeah.” Oliver nodded too. “I guess so.”

There was a long moment of silence. Oliver wondered how his parents were going to react to the news that he was getting married. They had tried to subtly ask about his plans of a future with McKenna already. They would probably be delighted by the news. Of all the girlfriends Oliver had had, McKenna had been the only one that had pleased them. Oliver could understand why. She was without any doubt the most reasonable girlfriend he had ever had.

The only woman that had pleased them or at least his mother even more was Felicity, but that was just completely impossible. They were best friends and nothing but best friends after all.

Oliver grinned. When Felicity noticed, she perked up her eyebrows and pushed her chin forward in a wordless prompt for him to speak.

“I am already dying to see our mothers’ faces when we tell them we are getting married.”

Felicity chuckled. “You honestly think they’ll believe we will get married to each other?”

“They might,” Oliver replied and chuckled, already getting up and reaching out his hand for Felicity to help her up onto her feet too. Only when she put her fingers in his, he added, “But, honestly, if they haven’t given up that stupid wishful thinking by now, they deserve the disappointment.”


	2. Kaaruwa

_= A divorced or widowed woman who has remind independent despite still being of marriageable age (Hausa)_

 

When Felicity woke up, feeling well-rested and content, she stretched out her arms over her head and made her legs as long as possible until her toes brushed against the footboard of the bed. Stretching her limbs was always the most important thing in the morning. It helped her to really wake up.

With a sigh, she opened her eyes eventually and the sight in front of her made a smile spread on her lips. Written in small and neat handwriting was a long binary code that reminded her so much of her youth. It was the third morning she had woken up in her old bedroom now, and the third morning she was met with this sight right upon waking up. So far, it had always elicited a smile from her.

She had been in sixth grade when Robert Queen had given this code to her, saying that there was one mistake in it that kept it from working. She had been supposed to find it. Usually, those tasks had taken her only a couple of seconds to check. This time, it hadn’t worked out though. She had looked at it and looked at it and looked at it, but she hadn’t found the mistake, so Robert had told her to take the code home and take her time to find out. She had copied the code onto the ceiling with fluorescent color, staring at it for day and night. She had even skipped school because she had been so obsessed with the riddle.

Felicity smiled when she remembered how she had told her mother that she wanted skip school for a day or two. Donna, who had always had a little trouble to understand her daughter’s academic focus as Felicity took much more after her dad when it came to intellect and talent, had almost danced a jig at the request. Felicity doubted that her mother had supported it if she had known why Felicity had wanted to skip school those days.

Anyways, Felicity had eventually decided to just reread that whole code and still hadn’t found any error in it, so she had just taken her backpack and taken some busses until she had reached Queen Consolidated. She had headed right up to the topmost floor and waited patiently until Robert had been out of his conference and ready to meet with her. She remembered that a lot of employees, who had already known her from all the times Robert had taken her with him to work, had stopped by and asked if she was okay.

Eventually, Robert had had time for her. They had sat down in his office, and she had told him that she hadn’t been able to find the error and proceeded to tell him that she believed that there was no error in the first place. Robert had perked up his eyebrows. An amused smile had spread around his lips when he had asked her if she was calling him a liar. Felicity had replied that she didn’t believe that. She just thought that he might have switched something or made a mistake. She had gone through it so many times, and she hadn’t found any error. Of course she had admitted that maybe she was wrong too, so she had suggested going through it together.

Robert had admitted that he had just wanted to test her though. He had told her that it was important not to believed something you were told just because someone with possibly more expertise or someone you were looking up to was the one telling you. He was glad that she was able to stand up for what she believed in and still stayed polite at the same time. Knowing your own talent was important in their branch, even more important if you were a girl or a woman.

Felicity smiled when she thought about that conversation. For her, it had always seemed to be normal that a girl was into tech and science. She had noticed that, most of the times, she had been the only girl in a room, but she had never thought about it a lot. Only this conversation with Robert had increased her consciousness for the fact that she would never have it particularly easy in the branch.

Releasing a long sigh, Felicity just realized once more how many memories this room held for her. She had spent most of her childhood and her youth here. The fact that her mother had left everything in her room the way it had been when she had left for college just made it all the easier to recall all those old memories.

It was good being back here though she couldn’t wait to move in with Carter when he was back from his congress in New York in a couple of days either. He had offered her to go ahead and move into his apartment already. She hadn’t wanted to move in there without him though and her mother had been more than happy when she had asked if she could stay with her for a couple of days.

With a look at the alarm on her nightstand, Felicity kicked away the blanket and got out of bed. She didn’t care to put on any clothes and just went downstairs in her pajamas.

It was weird about how lucky she felt to be back in her mother’s house now. Most of her youth, Felicity’s relationship to her mother had been tense. Felicity and Donna were about as different from one another as two people could be. At least to Felicity it had often felt like that. Weirdly, Donna reminded her a lot of Oliver. While she appreciated that he was so different from her, she had never really liked that about her mother and she got the feeling that it was the other way around too.

Now that Felicity was an adult and had achieved so many of the goals that she had set for herself, maybe it was easier for her to understand her mother. She knew she had always tried to do what was best for Felicity. She hadn’t had it easy and yet she had managed to give Felicity everything she had ever wanted and needed in life, even if she had had to ask her friends to help with that.

When Felicity reached the bottommost step of the stairs, she already heard her mother humming along a song on the radio. If her nose wasn’t betraying her, her mother was also cooking. That was if you could even call it cooking though Felicity didn’t have much right to judge. She avoided kitchens as much as possible. She loved eating, but she really couldn’t cook.

“Morning, Mom.”

“Oh, there you are,” Donna said and a wide smile spread on her lips when she looked at her daughter. “You are just in time. Breakfast is ready.”

“Great.” Felicity tried to sound not too scared. “I'm starving.”

She sat down at the kitchen island and took the plate her mother reached her. It was an omelet, something Oliver had always said there wasn’t much to screw up about. Felicity knew from own experience that her best friend might just be a little bit too optimistic about cooking.

“It looks good,” Felicity lied, taking her fork and picking in her food. “When did you learn cooking though? I remember a time that we didn’t even owned any pans of pots.”

“Good thing about that was that we were allowed to steal all the good food Raisa made.”

Felicity chuckled, nodding her head. Until they had temporarily moved in with the Queens and had been able to try the delicious food their housemaid and nanny or whatever to call Raisa, the good soul in the Queen Mansion, had made, Felicity had never eaten better. She had never eaten better after that either if she was honest.

“To get back to your question though,” Donna added eventually, “Oliver taught me to cook.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “He did?”

She wasn’t surprised that Oliver loved to cook. She had found out when she had been fifteen. At that time, he had been cooking for a year. He just hadn’t told Felicity or anyone about it. It had been the first and only secret he had ever kept from her. He had probably been a little bit embarrassed about it because one of his privileged Richie-Rich-friends had told him it was nothing guys did. Felicity had never seen it the same way though.

What Felicity was surprised about though was that Oliver had actually met with her mother while she had been away. No matter how many times they had been talking over the years, he had never said that he was teaching her mother how to cook.

“Oliver was such a sweetheart,” Donna said with a loving smile. “I might have felt like I had lost a daughter, but it was certainly like I gained a son. Not a lot of guys out there take care of your mother while you are away. You really got a good friend in him.”

“Yes, I do.”

Smiling, Felicity took a first bite of the omelet. Her enthusiastic chewing soon got slower though. The eggs tasted bitter and something else Felicity didn’t know how to describe. It took a lot from her to swallow it and smile, but she did since her mother was looking at her closely with hope in her eyes.

“That’s really delicious, Mom.”

“No, it’s not,” Donna said with a sigh. “Really, Oliver told me that you can’t do anything wrong with an omelet, but I just managed to screw that up too.”

“Don’t worry, Mom,” Felicity replied and put the fork away. “I would be able to screw that up too. I mean I stopped cocking completely by now. All I do is ordering takeout and brew myself a pot of coffee. I wouldn’t even need a kitchen if it wasn’t a good place to prepare cereal in the morning.”

“I have cereal.” Donna took the plate away and nodded towards the shelf. “You can’t do anything wrong by filling cereal in a bowl and adding some milk to it. At least I hope so.”

Felicity chuckled. While Donna got rid of the rest of that terrible omelet, she prepared herself a bowl of cereal. It was indeed much better than anything Donna could have possibly cooked for her.

“It’s amazing to have you back.”

At her mother’s words, Felicity lifted her gaze. Donna had leaned forward and had propped her forearms on the kitchen counter. She was looking at her daughter with a smile that held so much joy that no words could describe.

Felicity smiled and put a hand to her mother’s. Donna looked at the touch in surprise for a moment before she lifted her gaze again and locked eyes with Felicity.

“I know it wasn’t always easy between us,” Felicity said, “but I am really happy to be here too.”

Donna’s smile only widened at her daughter’s words. She put her hand over Felicity’s and just smiled at her for a long time. They both knew that maybe this time things would be different between them.

“So, when will I meet the man that will soon be my son-in-law?” Donna asked eventually, letting Felicity pull back her hand to continue eating. “I am already so excited to meet the man who proved to my daughter that marriage might not be that bad after all.”

Donna chuckled, but Felicity just watched her mother quietly. She narrowed her eyes on her, frowning.

“Mom?” Felicity cleared her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

Donna perked up her eyebrows. It wasn’t a question she was used to as Felicity had barely ever asked anything. In her childhood and most of her youth she had felt like she knew everything better anyway.

“Of course you can.” Donna walked around the kitchen island and sat down next to Felicity. “Ask away.”

Felicity hesitated. It wasn’t easy to ask what she wanted to ask. She and her mother had barely ever talked about their life before Starling City. Felicity knew some stuff, mostly because she and Oliver had eavesdropped on their parents and Felicity had later hacked into some databases to find out more about their life. She had always felt like her mother didn’t want to talk about those years with her father.

“Why do you still believe in marriage and yet never tried it again?” Felicity asked and felt her heart skip a beat. “I mean you are a beautiful, funny and loyal woman. You have only been twenty-six when dad left us. You had several relationships and some were quite serious. Yet, you never got married again.”

Donna faltered for a long moment, just looking at Felicity without saying a word. She was thinking thoroughly about her answer until she took in a deep breath and released the air with a long sigh.

“My marriage with your father didn’t work out obviously,” Donna said with a sigh, “but that doesn’t mean that all marriages are doomed. There are so many people who vowed to love each other forever and it worked. I don’t want to give up hope on that. Ever. And I certainly don’t want to give up my hope that you will find that love.”

“I did.” There was no hesitation. Felicity replied immediately. She didn’t need a moment to think about it. She knew what the right answer had to be. “I found it with Carter.”

“Well, I hope so,” Donna replied. “If it comes to me, your father showed me that it’s important to always stay independent. Even if you are married, you always have to be able to take care of yourself and your kids without the help of your man. I don’t think the men I dated since your dad really got along with that.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “It’s a different generation.”

“Yes, it is.” Donna smiled sadly. “I hope it is different. For you I hope that.”

“Carter is different,” Felicity said firmly. “He doesn’t want me to give up my job or anything like that.”

Donna released a breath she probably hadn’t known she had been holding and reached out her hand to squeeze her daughter’s fingers. She smiled widely.

“Good.”

Once more Felicity realized how little she had been able to understand her mother. Their differences had made it impossible for her to see what she had really been doing all the time. Everything Donna had done had been to make sure that they wouldn’t have to go through the loss of everything they had had in their lives again. They had been left with nothing once, and she moved heaven and hell to make sure it would never happen again.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Donna asked eventually, rubbing her hands together. “Do you think you have time for shopping with your mother?”

“I am actually quite busy today,” Felicity replied. “I promised Robert to go to Queen Consolidated to sign my contract and talk about my job there. After that, I wanted to meet with Tatsu. I didn’t have a chance to see her so far.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s how I know my girl.” Donna sighed, but there was a soft smile playing on her lips. “Always busy.”

“Sorry, Mom. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Of course.” Donna nodded, still smiling at Felicity. “You know I am very proud of everything you have achieved. You’ve been to one of the best colleges in the States. You have worked for some of the most successful companies in the branch, and now you will be Head of Applied Science for Queen Consolidated.”

Felicity just hummed in response, feeling her heart skipping a beat at the mention of the position she was going to take on soon. When Bruce Wayne had offered her a job as the team leader of one of the two teams in the Cyber and Information Security Department, Felicity had been flashed. Only a week later, when the news about Wayne Enterprise’s job offer had reached Robert, he had upped the game and offered Felicity the position as Head of Applied Science at Queen Consolidated.

As excited as Felicity had been about both offers, she had also been terribly nervous about it. She loved new tasks, and she loved being challenged. Being at the head of any team did make her a little nervous though.

“I am sure it was tough decision between Queen Consolidated and Wayne Enterprise,” Donna said eventually. “I read about Wayne Enterprise and it’s said that the company made a lot of success in the last years. It might actually catch up on Queen Consolidated on the Fortune 500 List of Companies by Forbes. I was almost a little surprised to hear you decided against the offer.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Robert has done so much for me. I wouldn’t be where I was now if it wasn’t for him. It wouldn’t have been fair to decline his offer, especially given how generous it is.”

Robert had been like a father to Felicity in more than one way. He had taken care of her. He had promoted her abilities and her interests. He had made sure that she could go to the best colleges and work for the best companies because just the fact that she had been able to do several internships at QC during her summer breaks in school had always looked good in resumes. That he had also paid for the private school and college she had gone to had only made it better.

“You didn’t just take the offer because of that though, right?” Donna frowned. “Robert wouldn’t want that. As much as he would like you to work for him, he really just wants you to be happy and-“

“Relax, Mom,” Felicity said. “I also came back here because it’s a good job and Starling is my home. You are here. Tatsu is here. Carter is here.”

“And Oliver is here of course.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. She was engaged now and yet her mother continued to see her with Oliver. By now, Felicity had given up on telling her mother that it would never happen. She probably knew it anyway.

“Okay, I gotta go now,” Felicity said with a glance at her watch. She got up, put her bowl into the dishwasher and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Bye, Mom.”

 

* * *

 

Standing in front of the QC-Building, Felicity angled her head back as far as possible and looked up the tall glass fronts to the top of the building. She remembered standing here like this the very first time when she had been at Queen Consolidated. She had only been in Starling for a week, confused and sad about losing her dad and her home in such a short time. Robert had figured that, since she was so interested in tech, she might want to accompany him to the company for a day.

Felicity smiled softly when she remembered how, in that moment of just looking up that building, she had known that she wanted to work at a place exactly like this one day. In her wildest dreams, there might have even been a building carrying her name. Smoak Technologies or something maybe.

With a sigh, Felicity pushed that thought away and stepped into the spacious marble hall. Despite the glances she was casted, she headed right to the executive elevators. Thanks to the keycard Oliver had already given to her yesterday, she had access to every area in the entire building already.

Robert’s longtime assistant, who had aged well, was shooting her a warm smile when she approached the glass desk she was working at. She got up and revealed one of her uncountable costumes. As a child, Felicity had sometimes tried to count the number of costumes she owned, but she hadn’t been successful since it had seemed like Laura Hoffman never wore the same costume twice.

“It’s nice to see you again, Felicity,” Laura said, shaking Felicity’s hand. “I can still call you Felicity, right?”

“Yes, of course.” Felicity smiled and shot a look through the glass walls to where Robert was working behind his desk. “Is he busy?”

“No, he is waiting for you.”

Felicity smiled before she turned towards Robert’s office. She knocked at the glass door softly and wasn’t surprised when Robert didn’t even lift his gaze from the file that he was reading in. Busy as he was, he just beckoned for her to come in with two fingers.

“Just put everything on the edge of the desk if you find a spot and-“

Only now Robert lifted his gaze. His eyes met hers, only now realizing that she wasn’t the one he had thought had come in. He put the file away immediately and got up. With his arms spread, he approached her and pulled her against his chest and into a close hug.

“Finally.”

Felicity chuckled at the relief in his voice. It had indeed been a long time since she had last seen Robert, but compared to her mother, Oliver or Tatsu it hadn’t been that long. Robert had been in Central City for a couple of days in spring, and they had met to have dinner together.

“I wish I had been here when you arrived from Gotham City,” Robert said when he let go of her. “I would have picked you up from the station.”

“Don’t worry. Oliver did that,” Felicity said, “and I doubt he would have let anyone else do it.”

“That’s true.” Robert chuckled and nodded over to the couches at the window front. “Come on, let’s sit down.”

While Felicity went ahead to sit down on the couch, Robert went over to the small kitchenette and got them a pot of coffee as well as two mugs. Felicity smiled at the sight. He was the boss, but he was also so very human. The lot of work he had put into founding this company and making it successful had just kept him grounded all those years.

There was a lot to love about Robert. The way he wasn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty was one of the things. His love and devotion to his work as well as his family was another one. No matter how much work, time and effort he was putting in the company and how many times he needed to travel around the world in a year, he always did his best to make sure that he was a good husband and father. At least that was the impression Felicity had of him.

“Felicity, I don’t want to beat around the bush,” Robert said when he said down.

Felicity looked at him over the rim of her coffee mug and perked up her eyebrows. She had expected to talk about some basic things to know about her new job, all the things they hadn’t been able to talk about before. She had hoped that make she could get to know some colleagues as well as the team she be working with already. Now it sounded like Robert might have a surprise up his sleeve.

“When I offered you a job, the position as the Head of Applied Science was the highest position, I could offer for you and the highest I could envision for you.”

“It is an amazing offer,” Felicity said immediately. “I mean I am going to be in charge of an entire department, and I can do exactly what I am good at. I can be innovative and creative. It’s a great job, Robert, and I am so excited to start it.”

“Well, you are not going to start it,” Robert said, but the way his words must have sounded quickly caught up with him. He lifted his hands. “I mean you won’t start this job if you accept the new offer I’d like to propose to you.”

Felicity chuckled. “I already accepted the last offer. Are you bidding over yourself now?”

Robert smiled. Grabbing his mug of coffee, he leaned back on the couch and watched Felicity. His eyes were wide open and slightly narrowed at the same time. Felicity didn’t know how that was possible, but it was. Back when she had been a child, he had looked at her like that a lot of times too. It had taken Felicity a while to notice that he had always suggested something new and challenging for her after he had looked at her like that.

“I looked through your resume once more, and I figured that a position with more chances to make crucial decisions about the direction the company should take was much more what you deserve and where your abilities will be of the greatest utility.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “You have a lot of trust in me.”

“Of course I do,” Robert replied without any hesitation. “I watched you educating yourself from the little girl you have been into the strong and skilled woman you are today. I know what you can do if you are given the chance to. That is why I want to make you Junior CEO.”

There wasn’t a lot of times that Felicity was speechless. She was much better known for not being able to talk. At least in that she couldn’t deny that she was taking very much after her mother.

“But- but- but-“ Felicity stammered but quickly cleared her throat to get a hold on herself. “But Oliver’s the Junior CEO.”

“And that won’t change. I want you two to be Junior CEOs together, so when I retire at the end of the year, you will take over the company together.”

Whatever response Felicity could have possibly come up with died on the tip of her tongue. Every other word faded from her brain at Robert’s offer.

Junior CEO with the prospect of taking over the company. It was much more than she had ever thought she could achieve. As a woman, especially a blonde in skirts, it just wasn’t as easy to reach high positions in top companies. Time might have changed things, but they didn’t make it that much easier for women. At least not fast enough for Felicity to have hope that she’d reach a milestone like this before she was at least fifty years old.

Her wild dream about owning a building that had her name on it was crazy. It was inspired by Robert, the man who had taught her so much. He had built Queen Consolidated from scratch. Using nothing but his head, his innovative thinking and the little money he had started with, he had built this company and expended it more and more every year. Continuing to make this company a place of innovative thinking was as close to her dream as she’d ever come.

Felicity could almost see it in front of her eyes. As little as she wanted to be in the spotlight and sit through boring board meetings and play any part in the testosterone-charged fights she envisioned to happen there, she knew it was the only place that allowed her to really change things. Only from the top of the system she could make the changes she wanted and needed.

As quickly as her excitement came, as soon her head reminded her not to be that fast. There was a lot to talk about and a lot to consider before she should even hope that this could really happen.

“Did you talk to Oliver about that?” Felicity asked, holding both her hands to the warm porcelain of the mug. “He knows that he will take over the company since he is two years old. He might have not always showed the most interest in it, but he worked very hard to earn this position the last few years. I am not sure it would be fair to him to suddenly have him share it with me.”

“That’s what you worry about?” Robert asked. “That Oliver won’t support this decision?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Of course I know that the job offer will bring a lot of troubles and challenges, but I am learning quickly. I know I can do it if I have the support I need, and I can always turn to you for it. I don’t want Oliver to think that after everything your family did for me, I am taking what was supposed to be his.”

“Do you really know Oliver so badly?”

Robert cocked his head slightly, but his smile was warm as he looked at Felicity. The way he looked at her made her lower her gaze to her hands. She hadn’t really believed that Oliver would think she was stealing anything from him, but she needed to hear about it from Oliver or at least from someone as close to him as his father.

“It was his idea,” Felicity,” Robert explained eventually, and his words made Felicity lift her gaze and lock eyes with him. “He mentioned a long time ago already that it was good to have a dual-leadership for the company, one that focused on economic thinking and one that focused on innovative thinking. He saw himself much more capable to do the first.”

Felicity nodded her head slowly. Oliver had never had much interest in tech if it wasn’t about owning and showing around the newest laptop, car gadget or whatever. He was an interested user and maybe had some ideas that the wealthy could be interested in, but he didn’t have the knowledge of tech to know what was possible and what wouldn’t be. He also had no clue what areas needed to be more promoted to further developments.

Thanks to Oliver’s business classes at college, he did know how to lead a company though. He was charismatic and he had good ideas when it came to collaboration with other companies and promotion. He was a businessman, not really a businessman in a certain branch, but a businessman.

“When he found out that I was searching for a new position for you, he suggested to make you Co-CEO alongside him.”

A ghost of a smile flashed over Felicity’s face. “He did?”

She shouldn’t be surprised. Oliver had always been happy when she had been happy. When she had succeeded with the riddles his father had prepared for her, he had been happy for her and with her. Just like her mother, he hadn’t understood why she was so interested in computers and tech, but he had been happy that it had made him happy.

“Oliver knows that you two work together well,” Robert explained. “You can help each other and combine all of your best skills to complement each other like you always do.”

“Like we always do.”

Only now the smile really showed on Felicity’s face. She knew that she had worked as much as she had possibly been able to work for this. She had spent as much time learning and training as any human being possible could. This last step, getting the position offered, might only come to her because she had the right friends, but that didn’t mean that she had to feel guilty or inferior. She had earned all of this. It hadn’t just fallen into her lap like nothing.

Looking around the office, Felicity felt her heart rate quickening. She would leave it to Oliver to sit behind a desk and do all the deskwork. She’d be found down in the productive departments, supporting their employees while they were working on developing the most innovative tech the world had ever seen. Felicity already had a million ideas where the company could put its main area in the next years.

“So, what do you say?” Robert asks. “Are you taking the offer?”

Felicity was about to reply, but again the words got stuck in her throat. No matter how much she wanted it, something was holding her back. It was a big step after all.

All her life, she had focused on getting better and better at this job. She had wanted to learn more every day, always in mind that maybe one day she’d be her own boss at the head of a company that was known worldwide. Where would all her energy go and all her motivation come from if she had to find a new dream?

Did it make sense to reach all of your dreams by the age of only 27 years?

A knock at the door made Felicity jump and pulled her back from her thoughts. She lifted her gaze to see Oliver sticking his head in through the door. He had his eyebrows perked up, looking back and forth between his father and Felicity.

“So?” he asked. “What did you say? Will we be partners?”

“She is still hesitating.”

Robert’s words made Oliver frown. He stepped into the office and behind one of the armchairs, looking at Felicity with an intense expression in his eyes. It showed a disbelief and an honest lack of understanding. It made Felicity pull her bottom lip between her front teeth and shrugged her shoulders.

“You have to take the job,” Oliver said. “I mean-“

“Oliver, maybe you-“

“Pssst, dad, I am recruiting the most skilled person that had ever and will ever work in this company right now.”

Oliver walked around the couch quickly. He sat down in the armchair opposite to him, took her coffee mug and put it to the couch table. Then he took both of Felicity’s hands in his. His calloused thumbs rubbed over the soft skin at the back of her hands. His touch was comforting and reassuring, the way Felicity was used to it.

“Felicity, you and I are best friends that are as different as two people can possibly be,” Oliver told her with firm but gentle voice. “We will make a dream team here. We respect each other. We complement each other. We trust each other. Together, we will make this company as successful as it possibly can be.”

There was so much enthusiasm in his eyes and so much hope. She could almost feel and hear his quickened heartbeat. There was no doubt that he was very much excited about this idea. Just like she had been able to see this future for a moment, so did he seem to see it right now.

Still, Felicity didn’t answer. The way Oliver made this idea sound, it seemed incredibly. It sounded like what both of them had always wanted as children. They could be best friends and work together. It sounded so great, but was reality even close to that or was every distinction in opinion leading to problems in their friendship?

“Felicity, I need you to help me leading this company,” Oliver continued when Felicity stayed silent. “I might know what’s good from an economic point of view. I have no real understanding of technology though. Someone could rub a new development right into my face and I might have trouble seeing it for what it is. I need your help to understand what we are developing here. Only together we can succeed, so please.”

Felicity wasn’t sure that Oliver really needed her, and she doubted that it was a good motivation for her to agree to the job. She couldn’t make career decisions based on her friend’s feeling. As much as she wanted to do what Oliver wanted and needed from her to do, Felicity felt like she shouldn’t do it just for him. It wouldn’t be fair.

In the back of her mind she knew that, even if she did this just for Oliver, her life would have so many advantages from it.

“Felicity.” Oliver’s voice was impossibly soft and it seemed to reach right into her heart.. “Please.”

It was impossible to withstand the deep blue of his eyes. Felicity knew she stood no chance even if she’d try to escape it. If Oliver was so sure that this was right and that they’d be able to do this together, she had to agree. She didn’t have a choice.

“Okay.”

She almost whispered the word, unable to say it out loud. Just thinking about all the doors that had just opened for her seemed impossible. Talking about it certainly was impossible.

Felicity didn’t have to talk about it though. Oliver’s arms already wrapped around her and lifted her from the couch. He was swirling her around, repeating again and again how happy he was that they would be working together.

Everything became indistinct in front Felicity’s eyes. All she could see was a sea of colors, mixing to one beautiful picture. Felicity was feeling dizzy, but she couldn’t say if it was from the offer she had just taken or from the way Oliver continued to swirl her around. Either way, Felicity knew she had a quite interesting time of her life in front of her. It would probably make her feel dizzy more than once.

 

* * *

 

“My school is cool. I like my classmates except for Leo. He’s annoying, and he’s always irking the girls. I don’t like him at all. My teachers are cool, at least most of them. Ms. Andrews is nice. She’s a good teacher. Mr. Johnson is funny and he knows so much. Mr. Irving demands a lot, and he’s my PE teacher. I don’t really like PE, but I am doing my best. Mr. Irving says I am one of the best students, and I could be even better if I was more motivated. I am all the more motivated in Math though. I love Math. I love numbers. I love calculating. I just hate geometry. I mean we are supposed to do Math and Math and not Art, right? Anyway-“

“Wow,” Felicity said, now that she finally got a word out between Akari’s excited talking. “Are you trying to compete with me in babbling because, girl, you’re the first who might stand a chance.”

Akari hesitated for a moment before she laughed. It seemed like only now she had realized how much and how fast she had really talked. Felicity couldn’t hold it against her. She was exactly like that, especially when she was talking to someone she loved or about something she loved.

“I am very happy you are so excited about school,” Felicity told Akari and tugged at a strand of her dark hair. “Being excited about school is a really important condition for success. I am glad if your teachers managed to achieve that for you.”

Akari smiled. “Doesn’t hurt that I am smart either.”

Felicity chuckled. “No that doesn’t hurt either.”

When Tatsu returned from the kitchen with two glasses of wine, she placed both of them on the small couch table and sat down next to Felicity. Her cat-like eyes watched her daughter intently.

“I guess Akari told you everything and I mean really everything about school?”

“No,” Akari replied before Felicity could. “I didn’t get to talk about what we are currently learning in school.”

“Good because Aunt Felicity is going to visit us more often, so you don’t want to already tell her everything you have to say, right?” Tatsu asked with a gentle smile. “You have to leave something for all the other times Felicity will visit us.”

“I will do something more that I can tell Aunt Felicity about.”

Tatsu sighed and shook her head. Her smile didn’t fade though. She just looked at her daughter with that gentle smile on her lips. The deep love she felt for her daughter was visible, and Felicity could almost feel it.

“Akari, why don’t you go watch a movie?” Tatsu asked. “Mommy and Aunt Felicity would like to talk alone for a bit.”

Akari released a long sigh, rolling her eyes. “Fine. I will go.”

She got up, crossed her arms in front of her chest and walked into her room. She didn’t look exactly sulky, but it was clear as day that she wasn’t happy to be sent into her room either. From the short meeting with her, Felicity could already tell that Akari loved to be the center of attention.

Next to her, Tatsu sighed. “Sometimes I don’t know what I did wrong with her.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Felicity said firmly. “Akari’s absolutely perfect.”

Tatsu smiled. “Yes, she is.”

Felicity grabbed her glass from the couch table and clinked her glass with Tatsu’s. They both stayed silent as they nipped at their drinks. Since Akari had started talking the moment Felicity had put her foot over the doorstep, this was the first time Felicity got a chance to really look around the small apartment. It was just like Felicity had imagined it, cozy and little rustic, just like she had loved her dorm room in Boston. It was just a lot tidier than Felicity was used to.

When Felicity had gotten to know Tatsu at MIT, they had instantly become friends. As the two only girls in their classes, they had just been drawn to each other easily. Besides, Tatsu was funny and good listener and a thousand other things Felicity appreciated.

Unfortunately, Tatsu had had to leave MIT before she had been able to graduate since she had become pregnant and her boyfriend had died two weeks before their wedding, causing her to stand there alone and pregnant and without a graduation. She had moved back to Starling where her parents lived and supported her.

Now she was working as a kindergartner which always prompted a lot of people to pity her. Missing your chance of graduation from a great college and ending up as a single mother that was taking care of little kids in her job seemed to be a reason to pity someone for a lot of people. For Tatsu, Felicity knew that wasn’t true though. Her life might be completely different than she had planned it to be, but she was happy. Akari was the one thing she had really needed to be happy.

“I know it looks like hell here.”

Felicity chuckled, casting Tatsu a brief glance. “Are you kidding? It looks a hundred times tidier than it did when we shared a dorm room.”

“Hey, my organized chaos was a good way to live,” she replied, “at least for two young college students with no child. With Akari, it’s different. If I am chaotic, she is topping it about a hundred times. I have no idea how I managed to succeed over my chaotic self, well, succeed at it as least a little.”

Reaching out her hand, Felicity squeezed Tatsu’s hand. “You are doing great.”

Tatsu sighed. “I hope I do.”

“Of course you do. Look Akari. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is funny.” Felicity smiled. “Most importantly, she is happy.”

“Do you think she is?” Tatsu asked. “Sometimes I wonder if she really is happy or if she is missing something.”

“What would she possibly miss?” Felicity asked back, cocking her head. “She has a safe roof over her head. She had a mother who loves and support her. She enjoys school, and it sounds like she had good friends. Sure, she will complain about some stuff now and then, but she will see that she really got everything she needed.”

Tatsu perked up her eyebrows. “Is that how you were feeling?”

“Still am.” Felicity smiled. “You know, the older I got, the more I see that it takes a lot of strength and a lot of sacrifices to raise a child all by your own.”

“Well, I wasn’t all by my own.” Tatsu shrugged her shoulders. “I had my parents.”

“Yeah, but it still takes a lot to ask them for help. I know how much it cost my mother to call Moira and tell her what happened and ask for her help. At the end of the day, it was our only way to get out of the pile of scattered pieces my dad has left us with. Sometimes asking for help is even more difficult than to do it all by yourself.”

Felicity knew what she was talking about. She had never liked to ask for help, and sometimes she still had trouble doing so. She was so used to doing things on her own that she didn’t like admitting to herself that there were things she needed help with.

Asking help for carrying a beverage crate up into her apartment was something completely different than asking someone to help raise a child though.

“I wish I could have done more to help you,” Felicity said with a sigh. “I felt terrible when you had to quit college because you needed more help.”

“Hey, you are here now,” Tatsu said with a smiled. “And since you want to help, I am not afraid to ask if you could maybe pick up Akari from school tomorrow. My mom’s sick, and I have some appointments with parents. It would be great if you could just pick her up, come here with her and play a little.”

“Of course.” Felicity smiled. “I’d actually love to. My first real job as a godmother.”

When Tatsu had left Startling, she had asked Felicity to become her baby’s guardian. With the distance of their homes, Felicity hadn’t had many chances to fill that role. She was eager to catch up on that now though.

“I know I couldn’t do it.”

The comment must have come out of nowhere for Tatsu because she perked up her eyebrows and asked, “Couldn’t do what?”

“Being a single mother,” Felicity replied. “I think raising a child on my own would be my worst nightmare. I could never do that.”

“Yes, you could,” Tatsu replied, “though I don’t necessarily wish that on anyone. It’s so much easier if you have someone in your life. Speaking of, I want to know everything about you and Carter.”

Felicity smiled, lowering her gaze for a moment. She shrugged her shoulders and told Tatsu what she had already told Oliver, “There isn’t much to say. We fell in love. It worked. We decided to get married.”

Tatsu chuckled. “I remember when Maseo proposed to me. It was so romantic. I had butterflies everywhere in my stomach and on my skin. I couldn’t wait to get married to him and start my life with him. I could see it all right in front of my eyes already. I mean I knew he’d be a great daddy and we’d be happy together. I know it didn’t work out at the end, but in that moment, I just gathered so many false memories that I can hold onto now.”

Squeezing Tatsu’s hand, Felicity smiled at her. Losing the man that she had loved and wanted to get married to must have been impossibly hard for her. Tatsu and Maseo had always been so in love with each other. His death had damaged Tatsu as his loss had been almost unbearable to her.

“You never fell in love again?” Felicity asked. “After Maseo?”

Tatsu shook her head. “No. Maseo was my one true love. I knew I would never feel for anyone what I have been feeling for him.”

Felicity smiled softly. As sad as the thought was that Tatsu was never going to fall in love with anyone again, there was something romantic in it. It had to be incredibly to love someone so much that you knew you would never fall in love again after them. Experiencing that kind of love, though painful, had to be the kind of experience you have to gain once in a lifetime.

“Are you sure about Carter and you?” Tatsu asked after a moment and lifted her gaze for them to lock eyes. “I am your friend, so I feel I have the right to ask you that without breaking our friendship. Are you really sure about this because your relationship did develop quite fast?”

Felicity thought about her answer thoroughly. She knew it was fast. These last nights, she had lain in bed wide awake and wondered how that had happened. She had never been the kind of girl that had dreamed of her wedding. She still wasn’t if she was being honest.

Maybe if she had chosen to work in Gotham instead of Starling City, things would be different. The moment she had decided to come back here, she had known that she needed something that would remind her that she wasn’t taking a step back. She was taking a step forward. She was growing and moving on.

“I think that getting married to Carter is the right choice,” she said eventually and nodded her head until she felt the words sinking in. “I really believe that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Don’t forget to vote on my next multi-chapter. Voting ends on Sunday. ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScyApYhkjihC3PpSdoNTzS_N1lAB_1LwwbAC3u_zm2u_9OvEw%2Fviewform%3Fusp%3Dsf_link&t=ZWYzNjdjYTViYjA4NTlmY2FiYzZlODE5NTQ1MzQxY2MyZTI3ZDk1NyxlaUFJV1pxRw%3D%3D&b=t%3AFb7Mw7wC2_ihECPO4vVJdQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fsmkkbert.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F185229060380%2Fmothers-know-best&m=1)   
> 


	3. Odnoliub

_= Someone who has only one love in his or her life or someone who is only capable of loving one at a time (Russian)_

 

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity glanced at her tablet in her purse once more. She felt her fingers twitching with the urge to grab it and just hack into some databases until she had found out more about the woman her best friend had proposed to. Felicity knew better than to give into that urge though.

With a deep sight, Felicity grabbed her mug and took some sips of the delicious coffee. Her fingers tapped against the warm porcelain softly.

In the two years Oliver had been with McKenna Hall, Felicity had always managed to resist the urge of using her skills to find out more about her. As much as the thought had tempted her sometimes, she had always been able to contain herself because she had known that the limits of privacy shouldn’t be passed easily. At least between friends like she and Oliver were they shouldn’t.

Felicity puckered her lips and leaned back in her chair.

Two years ago, when Oliver had told her that he was dating McKenna Hall, Felicity had been surprised that the two of them had met again. She couldn’t say that she had been surprised that they had started dating once they had met again though.

McKenna, just like Oliver, was coming from a privileged home. Her father owned a real estate company that was quite successful in and around Starling City. He had enabled her to go to the best schools in the city which had eventually caused her to become acquainted with Oliver. She had soon joined Oliver’s group of party friends and gotten closer to Oliver. Before anything had been able to happen to them, McKenna had been sent to a boarding school in Seattle though.

Felicity assumed it had had something to do with the night at Deville, a new club Oliver, McKenna and their friends had gone to one night. According to Oliver, who had climbed up the trellis in front of Felicity’s window to sneak under her blanket and tell her about what had happened that night, McKenna had climbed onto the bar and taken off her clothes. He had shaking his head and chuckled, but in his eyes, Felicity had seen that his desire for her had woken that night.

Given everything Felicity had heard about McKenna these last two years, though she couldn’t say that it had been much as Oliver just wasn’t the talkative one in their friendship, McKenna wasn’t who she had used to be though. Not that Felicity actually knew who McKenna had been or was now. They had barely had anything to do with each other since Felicity had kept her distance from most of Oliver’s friends. Partying in clubs hadn’t been her kind of fun anyway.

Maybe she and McKenna got a second chance at becoming friends now though. Oliver was important to the both of them, so they should get along with each other well. It would make things a lot easier, for all of them. Felicity didn’t want to feel like she had to hide whenever McKenna was around, the way she had felt like she had to hide whenever Oliver’s previous girlfriend were around.

Narrowing her eyes slightly, Felicity glanced at her tablet once more. She pushed the thought away again quickly. She shook her head, taking another few sips of her coffee and glancing at her watch.

She had been living in Starling for almost a week now, so it had been long overdue for her to meet McKenna. Since Felicity had had to learn some ropes of the company before she took on some important tasks there and McKenna had worked extra shifts because several of her colleagues had fallen sick, they had only been able to meet today.

Felicity could barely wait.

Smiling to herself, Felicity realized once more how weird it was that she and Oliver had both decided to get married at the same time. It was even weirder considering they were both getting married to people they knew from Starling.

Oliver and McKenna. Felicity and Carter. They would probably make the weirdest group of friends this city had ever seen. Two Junior CEOs, a neurosurgeon and a detective came to a bar. It was probably how some jokes started. Felicity couldn’t really see it in front of her if she was being honest.

Just when Felicity lifted her gaze, the door opened. The woman, that stepped in, looked like she had just arisen from the cover of some lifestyle magazine. She was wearing high waist jeans and a wide sweater of the SCPD that fitted her small figure anything but well, but it did nothing to hide her long legs and muscular chest. Adding her thick, dark hair and the beautiful face into the mix, she looked like just a few minutes at the hair and make-up department would allow her to rock the catwalk.

Even if Felicity wouldn’t remember McKenna from high school, she would know she was Oliver’s fiancée. She was just exactly his type. At least kind of.

When McKenna looked around the café, Felicity lifted her hand for a brief wave. It attracted McKenna’s attention eventually. She smiled widely when her eyes locked onto Felicity’s. Grabbing onto her purse a little more tightly, she approached her with strong, large steps.

There was a moment of awkwardness as Felicity wondered how they would introduce each other. The last time they had seen each other in person had been like ten years ago. Luckily, she wasn’t the only one who seemed to have troubles recalling the appropriate behavior for a moment like this.

“Felicity, hi,” McKenna said eventually, chuckling softly in a way that made some of the tension fade between them, and hugged Felicity carefully.

Felicity joined into the chuckle and hugged McKenna back. “Hi.”

The hug only lasted briefly. Soon, the two women let go of each other. Their eyes met and they smiled for a moment before they sat down.

Felicity watched McKenna as she lifted her hand to call for the waitress’ attention. As soon as the young moment looked at her, McKenna pointed at the mug of coffee in front of Felicity. When the waitress nodded, McKenna smiled and turned back around to Felicity.

“Sorry,” she said quickly. “I am just craving coffee.”

“Fellow coffee enthusiast here,” Felicity replied, her smile widening. “I don’t judge. I just support.”

McKenna chuckled. “Yeah, Oliver mentioned that if there was one thing that we have in common, it’s our need for a good mug of coffee.”

“Did he try to get you away from coffee too?”

“More than once actually,” McKenna replied with a smile, “but he failed miserably.”

“Good.” Felicity grinned. “Don’t let him tell you otherwise.”

Felicity had been fifteen years old when she had started drinking coffee. Since that moment, Oliver had tried to move her to drink less coffee. He hadn’t been successful yet, and Felicity hoped he wouldn’t be successful with McKenna either. Nothing should get between a girl and her coffee.

“Speaking of, where is Oliver?” Felicity frowned slightly. “I thought he wanted to pick you up at the SCPD after your shift.”

“He did,” McKenna replied with a sigh though she couldn’t contain a loving smile. “He got held back at work it seems. Since he’s Oliver Queen, I didn’t expect him to be on time away though.”

Felicity grinned. She couldn’t remember a single time that Oliver had been in time. He had always been at least five minutes late. At the end, she had just told him to pick her up at seven when she had wanted to leave at seven-thirty, so she was sure he’d at least make it in a somewhat tolerable frame of time.

“Oliver Queen. Always late,” Felicity agreed, nodding her head.

McKenna smiled. “Exactly.”

There was another awkward moment of silence as neither knew what to say. Fact was that Felicity and McKenna barely knew each other. Felicity was sure that there was a lot they knew about each other though. Given that McKenna’s fiancé was Felicity’s best friend, he certainly had talked to both women about the other.

“So, what’s working at the SCPD like?”

Felicity folded her arms on the edge of the table and leaned forward slightly. Maybe it wasn’t a good subject to talk about, but it was certainly something interesting to talk about. Working for the police had to be exciting. There had even been a time that Felicity had been asked if she wanted to work in the Tech Unit of the FBI. It was a chance she thought back to sometimes, but she couldn’t say that she had ever regretted not taking it.

“When I wanted to leave today, a guy threw up on my shirt which is why I have to wear this incredibly sexy SCPD sweater.”

Felicity chuckled. “You can pull it off. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

McKenna smiled at Felicity for a moment. Before she could say anything, the waitress arrived at their table and served the coffee though.

“Can I get you anything else?” she asked with a polite smile. “I can recommend our crêpes.”

“Oh, I’d take one,” McKenna said immediately. “With Salted Caramel please.”

“And for you?” The waitress turned to Felicity. “With maple syrup and banana please.”

Another silence spread between them just like before. McKenna put both of her hands around her mug of coffee and lifted it to her nose. She inhaled the good-smelling steam with closed eyes just like Felicity always did.

When Felicity’s gaze fell onto the diamond ring on McKenna’s left finger, she took in the piece of jewel thoroughly for a moment. The setting consisted of three small lines of diamonds. The round stone was framed by another small line of diamonds. It was a huge piece of bling.

“Now, how did Oliver propose?” Felicity asked. “All he told me that he did propose. He wasn’t really talkative about the details.”

Felicity rolled with her eyes, making McKenna chuckled. “That’s probably because Oliver isn’t really talkative anyway.”

“No, he isn’t,” Felicity agreed.

With a smile, McKenna lowered her eyes to the engagement ring on her finger. She brushed her fingertips over the stone and the soft expression in her eyes made Felicity know that she was thinking back to the proposal. She knew because she was sure that she had the same expression in her eyes when she thought back to the day Carter had proposed to her.

“He invited me to our favorite restaurant, an elegant Mexican in Downtown,” McKenna told Felicity eventually, lifting her gaze to her. “He had booked the entire restaurant and had ordered the chef to cook all of our favorite dishes. When the aperitif was served, he took my hand and told me that he wanted to wait until dessert, but he was too nervous to do so.”

McKenna’s smile widened. There was no doubt that she was enjoying recalling this memory right now.

“He told me that he loved me and thought it was time to make it official and tie the knot because he knew that the life that we had together makes him happy. It was right.” McKenna faltered for a moment before she chuckled. “Okay, Oliver’s words might have been a little bit different, but he said he really isn’t that good with words.”

“Oh, I know.” Felicity chuckled. “When I was seven, I got my first pair of glasses. He just said that it suited me because now I was looking more like the nerd I really was too. He actually though it was a compliment though.”

McKenna smiled, shaking her head slightly. Felicity was sure that she could recall just as many moments of Oliver’s not-so-good way with words as she herself could.

“It sounds like it was very romantic,” Felicity said eventually.

“It was.” McKenna nodded. “We were at a place that’s very special for us. There were flowers and candles. Soft music was playing. We had great dinner. What else could a girl want?”

Felicity didn’t reply as there was no doubt about the answer. A girl couldn’t wish for anything more than that. Oliver had managed to pull off the perfect proposal.

Weirdly, when they had been teenagers, Felicity had always believed that Oliver would need her help if he wanted to propose one day. They had always done everything together, so it had just been a sure thing for her that she would help him with an important step like that too.

After all the time they had spent apart, Felicity couldn’t say that she was surprised that he had managed to do this all on his own though. The only thing she was still surprised about was that he had kept it from her for so long. She couldn’t judge him though as she had done the same.

“I have to say that Paris sounds quite incredible too though,” McKenna said eventually. “It’s Paris after all.”

Felicity smiled, looking down at her own engagement ring. The cushion-cut diamond center stone was surrounded with a small line of accent diamond stones. Some additional diamonds lined the ring’s shank. It was a huge ring that Felicity still hadn’t gotten used to wearing, especially since she had never worn rings in the first place.

“It was a huge surprise,” Felicity relied. “I didn’t know Carter was proposing until he got down on one knee and asked.”

Even just talking about that proposal, Felicity felt the nervousness she had felt in that moment coming back to her. She loved to think through her decisions for a very long time, making sure she really did what was the right thing to do. It was why she had actually asked Carter for a day of thinking her answer through and he had been amazingly patient. He hadn’t urged her to make a decision before she had been ready, and he had been just as amazing when she had finally said yes a day later.

What was better than a guy that gave you the room you needed even if you were ruining a perfect proposal by doing so?

“Sounds perfect.”

“It was,” Felicity replied, keeping the secret of waiting a day to answer for herself. “So two different proposal and both of them were perfect.”

“Exactly.”

They both took a couple of sips of their coffee. Felicity glanced at her watch once more and released a low sigh.

“Is Oliver ever going to learn to be in time for anything?”

“I hear that he is much more responsible and reliable at work,” McKenna told her. Then she grinned. “And I really do hope that he will make it in time for our wedding. The only one allowed to be late for the wedding is the bride.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. I will make sure he will be there in time even if I have to kick him down the aisle.”

“You will be his best woman, so I put all my hope in you.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “I will be?”

“Oh, you didn’t talk about it yet?” McKenna asked. “Oliver is definitely making you his best woman. That is if you aren’t too busy with your own wedding preparations.”

“I could never be too busy to let down my best friend.” Felicity smiled. “I am looking forward to be his best woman.”

Felicity felt relieved that she knew about Oliver’s plans now. These last couple of days she had wondered if the fact that the both of them were getting married now meant that they couldn’t be each other’s best woman and man of honor. Given how long she hadn’t been in Starling, she wouldn’t even know who else she could make her maid of honor. Well, it would probably be Tatsu of course, but it just felt right to have Oliver by her side of the wedding.

“I am really happy he found you, you know?” Felicity asked with a smile. “You know Oliver. He had quite the history with women. If it wasn’t for you, he might have never found the courage and the love it takes to decide that getting married is a good idea after all.”

McKenna smiled, but there was a little bit of doubt forming in her eyes. It made Felicity frown slightly.

“You really think it’s because of me?”

“Of course I do,” Felicity replied without any hesitation. “Why else would he get married to you?”

There had been a time that neither she nor Oliver had believed that marriage was something they would ever want. After what her father had done, Felicity just hadn’t seen any good in getting married, and the marriage of Oliver’s parents hadn’t always been happy and easy either. There had been more than one night that Oliver had spent in Felicity’s bed, telling her that he couldn’t stay home as long as his parents were fighting.

Robert and Moira, though they hadn’t always been happy, had always managed to find their way back to each other. Felicity didn’t know how deep their problems had really gone, but she knew that their family had always been the most important thing for them. When the crunches had come, they had always held together to do what was best for their kids the was parents should.

Maybe if her father had been able to at least stand at her mother’s side when it come to find the best way to raise her, she would have never lost belief that getting married was a good thing.

Two people could always fall out of love. Just because you made the vow of always loving another, a vow you couldn’t really make if you were being honest, you shouldn’t be forced to be together for the rest of your life. If you decided to take on the responsibility of having a child, you should be adult enough and responsible enough to always hold together when it came to your child. Her father hadn’t been able to do that, so she had lost her faith in marriage and in family.

“Felicity?”

“Hm?”

Felicity lifted her gaze and frowned slightly when she saw the look on McKenna’s face. Gone was the soft smile that had been playing on her lips the entire time. There was a small crease between her eyebrows, and she was looking at Felicity with slightly narrowed eyes. There was no mistrust in them though, just worry or something else Felicity couldn’t name.

“Can I be honest with you?”

The words made Felicity perk up her eyebrows slightly. “Of course.”

McKenna cleared her throat and moved her chair a little closer to the table. Folding her arms on the edge of the tabletop, she leaned forward. Her shoulders straightened as she took in a deep breath.

“When Oliver told me that you were moving to Starling City, I was a little worried.”

“Why?” Now Felicity was frowning again.

“Because I was… I don’t know… maybe a little bit intimidated by you and what you share with Oliver.”

A deep blush spread on McKenna’s cheeks and she lowered her gaze to her engagement ring for a long moment. Felicity’s frown deepened as she watched her. The words weren’t coming from McKenna’s lips easily.

“Intimidated?” Felicity asked. “By me?”

Felicity couldn’t really picture anyone as beautiful as McKenna to be jealous of her. Of course Felicity wasn’t ugly, but she considered herself more like the average pretty woman rather than a model-like beauty. In a crowd full of people, men’s gaze would always find McKenna. They would be attracted to her and drawn to her because she was extraordinary. Unlike Felicity, who was more like average.

Besides, her nerdiness usually frightened most guys away even if they were interested in her. Whenever Felicity opened her mouth, she saw guys being turned down. She refused to dumb herself down because of them, but she noticed their reactions.

Anyway, not even a more extraordinary appearance would make her any more enviable.

When McKenna lifted her gaze again, she was smiling. There was an underlying sadness in her eyes that not even her smile could hide though.

“You have no idea how Oliver talks about you,” McKenna said in a whisper like she was afraid to say those words out loud. “He talks about you and everything you did together so often. It’s like you know each other better than anyone else could ever get to know either of you. I have been with Oliver for two years now, and sometimes I still feel like I know nothing about him. I pick together the pieces I know, but it’s not enough to really understand him. It’s probably different with you because I know that you tell each other anything.”

Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them into her mouth briefly. She was sure that it wasn’t a good feeling to know that another woman knew your fiancé better than you yourself knew him. It was just that she wasn’t another woman, at least not like that. She was his best friend.

“Oliver and I grew up together,” Felicity said massaging the back of her neck a little uncomfortably. “We are like siblings.”

“Just that you aren’t siblings.” The right corner of McKenna’s lip twitched slightly. “You are as close as siblings, maybe even closer, but you are not siblings.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue, thinking about what to say. She wasn’t used to a situation like this as most of Oliver’s girlfriends had either ignored her because they had felt like she was just an annoying addition to take if they wanted Oliver. Some others had tried to use her, so she would convince Oliver that they were just the right ones for him. Felicity hadn’t let herself be used though.

This was new to her though. From the few minutes they had talked now, Felicity could already say that McKenna was the one of all of Oliver’s girlfriends she liked most. She felt like they could even become good friends if they spent some more time together and got to know each other better. If McKenna felt threatened by her, Felicity didn’t know what the future would look like.

Was McKenna going to feel uncomfortable whenever Felicity was around? Was she going to be nervous whenever Oliver and Felicity would meet? How was that going to work?

“I know how he talks about Thea, and it’s not the same way he talks about you,” McKenna said after a moment. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Oliver and I spent a lot more time together than Oliver and Thea did. We are almost at the same age, while they are almost a decade apart.”

McKenna nodded slowly, watching Felicity closely. Felicity doubted that McKenna knew why she was feeling the way she was feeling about her, and the expression in her eyes told Felicity that McKenna didn’t know why she was telling her this right now either.

“Somehow it always felt like I have to compete with you,” she added in a whisper so low that Felicity could barely hear her. “Oliver just talks about you so highly and so does his entire family. Moira, Robert and Thea all love and appreciate you so much. It’s like you can’t do anything wrong.”

Felicity cocked her head slightly and bit down on her bottom lip. Her relationship with the Queens was hard to describe and barely fathomable. Since Felicity had moved to Starling with her mother, the Queens had been like family to her because they had made her feel like family.

Especially Robert was incredibly important to her. He had been like the father she had lost, an even better one probably. He had continued to challenge her knowledge and her skills. He had supported her in a way that her mother hadn’t been able to because she hadn’t had the money or the understanding for Felicity’s skills that Robert had had.

She owned a lot to the Queens, and she loved them with all of her heart, each one of them.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You shouldn’t say anything,” McKenna said firmly. “And I shouldn’t say anything either. I am just-“

Shaking her head, she rubbed her hands over her face. She hid it behind her hands for like a minute before she shook her head and lowered her fingers. She was smiling almost a little bit amusedly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I am just tired. The shift has been long and exhausting,” she told her. “Please just forget what I just said.”

Felicity wanted to object because a thing like that shouldn’t just be left standing like that. If McKenna really felt like that, Felicity should reassure her because there was no reason for her to feel inferior or insecure or anything like that. Oliver loved McKenna. Felicity was sure of that. There was no other reason why he would have changed his opinion on marriage. She had to be someone very special for him.

Before Felicity could figure out how to assure McKenna of that, she noticed that Oliver was approaching their table though. McKenna seemed to notice it because she shot a look back over her shoulder. There was a pleading expression in her eyes when she turned back towards Felicity again.

“Please.”

Not knowing what else to do, Felicity just nodded her head quickly. Maybe they’d get another chance to talk about this alone in the near future.

“Hey,” Oliver said, quickly pushing his chair back and sitting down next to McKenna. He leaned over and pecked her lips. “I’m sorry. I got held back at work. Have you two waited long?”

“No, of course not,” McKenna replied with a smile. “Besides, we had each other to talk to.”

“That doesn’t sound threatening at all.”

Oliver chuckled. He loosened his tie a little and looked back and forth between the two of them. Felicity shot McKenna a glance. When their eyes locked briefly, they both lowered her gaze quickly though.

“Everything alright?” Oliver asked, confusion in his voice. “You two didn’t use the time alone to share secrets about me, right? I am pretty sure it’s against the rules of engagement and the rules of friendship.”

Again, Oliver chuckled. It didn’t hide that he was still a little confused about what was going on though. All he wanted was trying to lighten the mood.

Felicity lifted her gaze once more. Looking at each other, she and McKenna came to a quiet agreement.

“No, of course not,” McKenna said.

“We just talked from one bride to another,” Felicity said. “So you didn’t miss anything.”

Oliver looked from one woman to the other once more, almost like he didn’t believe them. Before he could voice any doubts about their words though, the waitress stepped back to their table. She placed the plates with the crêpes in front of Felicity and McKenna, but her attention was already directed at Oliver as she was looking at him with a flattered smile.

“Can I bring you anything sir?”

“A coffee please.”

“Maybe some crêpes?” she asked, dipping her head forward slightly. “Something sweet like chocolate or maybe something spicy? We do have a creation called chili cheese crêpes if you like it hot.”

Grinning, Felicity looked back and forth between the two of them. From the corner of her eyes she could see McKenna doing the same.

“Thank you,” Oliver said with a polite smile, “but I am sure I can steal some bites from my fiancée.”

Saying that, he lifted McKenna’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. The waitress’ cheeks turned a dark shade of red and she quickly excused herself with a mumbled apology. Felicity looked after the poor girl with a quiet chuckle.

“So, you are still breaking hearts wherever you go?”

“I am trying not to,” Oliver said with a chuckle, “but it keeps happening.”

“Don’t worry, Hon,” McKenna said with a smile and stroked her fingers through his hair. “Once you are wearing a wedding band, the ladies might start to see that you are off the market.”

“I can’t wait.”

The two of them smiled at each other lovingly and Felicity looked away. She didn’t want to disturb the intimacy of the moment. Focusing on the hustle and bustle outside on the street, Felicity parted a small piece of her crêpes with the side of her fork. From the corner of her eyes, she could still see Oliver and McKenna as they were leaning in for a kiss now.

Before their lips touched, Oliver suddenly pulled back and reached out his hand though. His fingers wrapped around Felicity’s wrist.

“Stop.”

Frowning, Felicity turned her head to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I think they messed up your crêpes,” Oliver told her, nodding towards her plate. “There is peanut butter in there.”

Felicity followed the direction of his nod and realized that there was indeed melted peanut butter pooling on her table as it was flowing out of her crêpes.

“We don’t want this to end like the only one of my college parties I was ever allowed to take you to,” Oliver said with a chuckle and grabbed her plate. “I’ll eat this for you.”

“Thanks.”

Felicity handed Oliver her fork and glanced at McKenna, who was looking back and forth between them, briefly.

“What happened during that party?”

“Felicity ate a pot brownie and had an allergic reaction to it,” Oliver said with a chuckle. “I had to rush her to the hospital and then tell her mother that her daughter had her first experience with drugs but that the peanuts were the reason she was knocked out.”

McKenna perked up her eyebrows. “Sounds like a terrible night.”

“It was,” Oliver and Felicity both said in chorus.

They looked at each other for a moment before they chuckled as it really had been a terrible night. Thanks to the fact that all three of them, her mother as well as his parents, had thought that Oliver had been responsible for the fact that it had happened in the first place, they hadn’t been allowed to see each other for the rest of the two weeks Felicity had been in Starling. Oliver hadn’t let that stop him from climbing the trellis up to her room though.

Never had ever been able to keep them apart for long.

“Speaking of terrible things,” Oliver said and pushed the fork into his mouth before he used it to point at her, our mothers, alongside Janice Bowen, forged out the plan that we will have lunch with all of our parents the weekend Carter is coming back to Starling.”

Though he tried to hide it, Felicity didn’t miss the beat of annoyance that was in Oliver’s voice when he said Carter’s name. He barely managed not to roll his eyes. Felicity was too distracted by Oliver’s words to say anything about the tone of his voice though.

“Really?” she asked. “a brunch with all of us together?”

“Yep,” Oliver said, nodding his head. “Great, right?”

“I think I will pretend to suffer from migraine,” Felicity said, clearing her throat and took a sip from her coffee.

“It’s going to be good practice for your marriage.”

Felicity kicked Oliver’s shin beneath the table, but it only made him chuckle as he pushed another bite of crêpes into his mouth. Felicity had trouble not to stick out her tongue to him. When she and Oliver were together, she just felt like she was a kid again sometimes.

“I actually think it’s a good idea,” McKenna said eventually. “I mean you two are best friends, so I guess the four of us will spend a lot of time together in the future. Maybe it doesn’t hurt if we all sit down together and… I don’t know… get to know each other?”

Felicity doubted that she had much experience with Donna and Moira being together. The two of them were, at least when Oliver and Felicity were concerned, unbearable at times. Felicity guessed they were as annoying to her and Oliver as the two of them were to most other people around.

Oliver and Felicity exchanged a brief glance. She could almost see in his eyes that Oliver wanted to object. After the conversation they had just had, Felicity felt like she should reinforce her in her decision.

“You are right,” she said quickly. “It’s a good idea.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, but Felicity just shot him a glance and he lifted his hands in defeat. He didn’t look excited, but he didn’t have to be excited as long as he agreed.

“Fine,” he said with a sigh. “If you think it’s a good idea, so do I.”

Although Felicity wanted to smile about his answer, as it was sweet after all, she couldn’t get herself to do so though. She doubted that it had been McKenna’s fault, but she was feeling guilty for it now. For a long time, she had been the most important girl in Oliver’s life, or at least she had been in the top three alongside Moira and Thea, but that was over now. McKenna should be the most important woman to him now. She should only be in second place or even in fourth place after his fiancée, his mother and his sister.

After all, Carter should be the most important person in her life now too.

 

* * *

 

“So, have you known Carter long?”

“I have known Carter before he was born,” Moira replied with a warm smile. “Janice and I have been friends since school, just like Donna and I have been. Janice just didn’t leave the city like Donna did, so we had the better chance to stay in touch. We actually complained to each other about our aching backs, swollen feet and absent husbands.”

“And what is Carter like? I know I can’t trust Oliver with his opinion on him.”

“Oh, Carter is great. He has always been very determined to reach his goals, and he set himself high goals. At twelve, he won the national chess championship. At fourteen, he anchored the debate team at school. Later, he got accepted into Harvard and Princeton because he got perfect score on his SATs. Now he’s working on curing cancer. It’s incredibly how much he already reached in his young years.”

“Sounds impressive.”

“It is.” Moira nodded eagerly. “All Oliver was interested in during his time in school was the football team and even that he got kicked off of because of his grades. He got lucky that Felicity was there to help him with his homework so often, and I am pretty sure she helped him through most exams too.”

True, Oliver thought to himself. During the time they had been in the same classes, Felicity had always made sure he was getting through his exams. She had been too good of a soul to be honest.

“I have already heard that they shared a special friendship.”

“Absolutely. Felicity had such good influence on him too. Oliver just wasted a lot of the potential he had because he was trying to fight against something that I actually still don’t know what it is. It’s a pity.”

“I am standing right next to you, Mom.”

Moira puckered her lips and shot her son a brief glance. Though she kept a straight face, there was amusement in her eyes as well as a teasing sparkle. She lifted her glass of champagne to her lips and took a few sips.

“Oh, I know,” she said eventually, flashing him a brief smile. “And I hope you listened.”

“Barely,” Oliver replied honestly.

He emptied his glass of orange juice in one go, internally shaking his head about this conversation. It had been years since his mother had last met Cater Bowen, and she still thought of him as highly as she had when she had met him the first time. Everything her friend Janice had told her about her son had only made Moira agree all the more that Carter was the picture perfect of a son.

Oliver had had more than a week to process the news now. Still, whenever he thought back to the moment Felicity had told him that she was going to get married to Carter, he felt his stomach twist. He had always known that his best friend was going to get married one day, but he had never thought that she’d get married to Carter of all people. He still didn’t like the thought.

Felicity and Carter. Carter and Felicity. No matter how much he had tried to think about this, it still didn’t go into his head.

There was a familiar feeling in the back of his neck that made Oliver’s heckles rise and goosebumps spreading down the length of his spine. His arm still wrapped around McKenna’s waist loosely, he turned around and smiled when he saw Felicity stepping in. Her eyes had found his already and she was lifting her hand for a brief wave.

Just when Oliver wanted to leave McKenna’s side to be the first to welcome her, Carter was stepped in behind her. The lock of their eyes broke as Felicity looked back over her shoulder at her fiancé. Her smile widened and she reached out her hand for Carter, who laced his fingers through hers immediately. He stepped right next to her and kissed her temple, making her smile only growing warmer.

Oliver had trouble containing a dark growl. He had no idea how he was supposed to live seeing them together again and again. He could barely bear the sight right now.

When Felicity had been with Cooper, it had already been strange. Seeing her with Carter now was making his stomach twist though. Cooper just hadn’t been likeable. Carter was the person Oliver had projected a lot of his frustration on during his teenage years. He had no idea how to get over that now.

“Oh, there you are,” Donna said, being the second to notice the arrival of Felicity and Carter. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

While his own mother excused herself quickly to welcome the guests too, Oliver watched Donna and Janice introducing themselves to their future children-in-law as well as each other. Felicity was leaning closer to Carter as they did so, and Carter’s arm seemed to tighten around her a little.

Oliver really didn’t like it.

“Everything alright?”

When McKenna turned more towards him, rubbing her hand over his chest, Oliver sucked in a deep breath and looked at her. She was smiling at him comfortingly and it made some tension fade from Oliver’s muscles. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in a brief kiss.

“I just really can’t stand Carter,” he whispered towards her.

McKenna’s smile wavered for a moment, but she regained control over it quickly. She shot a look towards Carter and Felicity, who were still chatting with their future parents-in-law as well as Moira. He couldn’t hear what Janice was saying, but it made Felicity angle her head back enough to look at Carter and he leaned down to kiss her on the lips softly.

“They look happy,” McKenna said. “They look good together.”

Now, Oliver couldn’t contain his grumble. He could name at least a dozen things that would be contrary to that. He didn’t voice any of that though since he knew that, the more he obsessed about all the reasons why Felicity and Carter didn’t make a good couple, the harder it would be to support their relationship the way a good friend should.

When Donna and Moira tugged Carter away slightly, and Felicity was left alone with Janice, Oliver could almost feel her nervousness. She was holding onto the glass of champagne Raisa had offered her and was shooting brief glanced around as she was talking to Janice. He remembered how nervous he had been when he had met Richard and Annabeth Hall the first time after their engagement.

“Let’s say hi to Felicity,” Oliver said, feeling the need to save her, “before Janice uses the situation to interrogate her future daughter-in-law a little too thoroughly.”

Arm in arm, Oliver and McKenna approached Felicity and Janice. The moment his best friend noticed him, she released a long breath. Although she was doing her best to keep it quiet, Oliver could hear it nonetheless.

“Oliver.”

Felicity hugged him quickly. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she straightened up onto the tip of her toes to fit against his body. Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. He leaned his cheek against hers and moved his stubbled cheek against her soft skin to make her chuckle.

Leaning her lips close to his ear eventually, she whispered, “Save me.”

Oliver chuckled and winked at her when he pulled back from the hug. While Felicity turned to McKenna and hugged her, he quickly turned to Janice. He was lucky that he had an idea how to get rid of Janice already. Usually, he wasn’t good with excuses.

“Janice, I forgot to ask before,” he said with a polite smile, “did my mother already show you the painting she purchased at the auction you to went to last month?”

“Oh, it arrived?”

“Yes, it did,” Oliver replied with a nod of his head. “She probably forgot about it with everything going on, but I am sure she wouldn’t mind showing it to you before we sit down to brunch. She knows how much you appreciate modern art after all.”

“I really do,” Janice said with a smile towards Felicity and McKenna. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d actually like to try to get Moira to show it to me already.”

“No, of course not,” Felicity replied, and Oliver bit back a grin at how quickly that answer had come. “I am sure we will have a lot of opportunities to talk in the future.”

“Absolutely.”

With a last smile at Felicity, Janice left them and Felicity released another breath of relief. She put a hand on Oliver’s forearm and squeezed it gently.

“You are my hero. Thank you.”

Oliver smiled at her. “You are very welcome.”

Oliver could recall at least a hundred moments that Felicity had saved him. In his teenage years, when his father had started alluding to Oliver’s possible future at Queen Consolidated, Oliver hadn’t been ready for that. He hadn’t been sure if that had been what he had really wanted out of life, but he hadn’t dared to tell his father about that. Felicity had saved him from more than one embarrassing conversation back then.

“So, have Carter and I missed very much yet?”

“No, not at all,” McKenna replied. “We only arrived half an hour ago. My parents couldn’t make it unfortunately. Something got in between for my dad. I mean he always said that he’d drop everything to be there every step of the way if I ever get married, but suddenly a little appointment out of town is more important. And of course he had to take my mother with him too.”

McKenna rolled her eyes, making Felicity chuckle. “Parents just continue to be weird.”

“Oh, you are saying,” Carter said with a chuckle as he stepped into their small circle. “Can’t we all sing a song about our parents?”

Oliver’s eyes snapped up to see that his mother, alongside Janice and Donna, were heading towards the study room where the new painting had been placed. He wished Carter would have disappeared with them, but he guessed there was no avoiding having a conversation with him now. Clenching his teeth, he looked at Carter then, looking him up and down.

The last time Oliver had seen Carter had been almost a year ago. It had been during the annual Christmas Party his family hosted at the beginning of December. Unfortunately, he had noticed that Carter was at least an inch taller than him back then, and it made Oliver straightened up as much as possible now. It didn’t help either that Carter had cut his hair and wasn’t wearing it backcombed the way he had back in December as the new hair style certainly made him look a lot better.

Oliver pushed that thought away quickly. He owed it to Felicity and to their friendship to at least give Carter a try. After all the times that Felicity had to deal with his bad choices at girlfriends, he owed it to her to give Carter a try, especially since Felicity had much better judgement than he had.

He could do it, he told himself with a slight nod of his head. Even if it cost a lot of him.

“Carter, hi,” he said. As much as he tried to just sound casual, the underlying grudge couldn’t be hidden though. “Nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you again too,” Carter replied with a wide smile and shook his hand. “Especially given the circumstances.”

From the corner of his eyes, Oliver could see Felicity leaning into Carter’s side as she was watching the two men. There was a soft smile playing on her lips, showing relief almost like she had expected them to just go at each other in a brutal fight.

“Yeah,” Oliver said, nodding his head. “Congratulations by the way.”

“Thank you.” Carter flashed Felicity a loving smile before he turned back to Oliver. “And congratulations to you two too of course.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you, Carter,” McKenna said too and stepped forward. Her cheek touched Carter’s as they hugged briefly. “And congratulations.”

“So many congratulations.”

Oliver had trouble not to groan at Carter’s chuckle. He really hoped that there would come a time that he wouldn’t be so terribly annoyed by everything Carter was saying. It would make it very hard to be friends with Felicity and there was no way he could lose her. She was his best friend after all.

“How was the conference in New York?” Oliver asked Carter, trying to pretend that he was interested in getting to know that guy better. “Did you find a new way to cure cancer yet?”

Felicity shot him a glance, her eyes filled with annoyance and holding a quiet warning. Oliver just puckered his lips slightly and tried to ignore it. It wasn’t forbidden to feel out the guy your best friend wanted to get married to after all. He was actually sure that it was his responsibility.

“No, I didn’t.” Carter chuckled. “The conference gave me new insight on the surgical treatment of a certain kind of brain tumor that often occurs with children in their young age. A research group at the New York Children Hospital made first successes with finding a new way of proceeding the surgery that doesn’t put the kids at that much risk of suffering from consequential damages. I was chosen to support their research from Starling City with a small group of doctors here. We are hopeful that we are close to an innovating breakthrough.”

Great, Oliver thought to himself, now Carter was actually curing cancer after all. How did you compete with someone who was curing children from cancer?

“Sounds great,” he said, unable to make the sourness sound through his words. “Queen Consolidates is actually seeking a collaboration with Starling City General to test the bio-stimulant implants we are working on.”

“Right, I read the project proposal half a year ago,” Carter said, nodding his head. “As far as I know, our board didn’t find the implants promising enough yet. Did you make a breakthrough?”

“We are close to one, yes.”

“Really?” McKenna frowned. “Didn’t you say that-“

“We have Felicity now,” Oliver interrupted her quickly before she could spoil that the chances for a quick breakthrough were actually quite small and the project might be terminated if they didn’t have a success soon. “If someone can make it work, it’s her.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “It is?”

“Of course it is.” Oliver smiled at her honestly, almost a little bit amused about the fact that she still didn’t know her own worth and her own skills. “I have absolute faith in you.”

“I always say the same thing to her.”

“Of course you do.”

Oliver couldn’t have prevented that mumble to fall from his lips. As much as he had tried to keep it quiet enough that nobody else could hear it, he had failed miserably though.

Luckily, he was saved from the conversation before it could have become awkward. Before anything could be said, his mother was stepping back in.

“I think it’s time for our brunch now,” she said. “Raisa worked her magic.”

Ten minutes later, everyone was gathered around the large table in the dining room. Felicity and Carter were sitting right across the table from Oliver and McKenna, forcing Oliver to watch the two of them the entire time.

In the back of his mind, Oliver knew that it wasn’t fair. Carter had never done anything to him. It wasn’t his fault that his smartness and his scholastic engagement had attracted his mother so much that she had started holding up Carter like he was the perfect son. It really wasn’t his fault, and Oliver shouldn’t project his grudge about feeling like he had never been good enough on Carter.

Sipping at his coffee, Oliver watched Carter and Felicity leaning close to each other as they were absorbed in their conversation. He couldn’t deny that Felicity looked happy and at ease with Carter. He shouldn’t be surprised about it since she had agreed to marry him.

With a sigh, Oliver vowed to be better and try harder to like Carter. If he made Felicity happy, that was all that really mattered.

He could still break all of his bones when he broke Felicity’s heart after all.

When Robert got up with his glass of champagne in his hand, everyone got quiet and looked at him expectantly.

“I am very happy that we are all here together,” he said with a smile, “especially given the occasion. When Oliver told me that he had proposed to McKenna, I didn’t think I could be any happier or prouder.”

Oliver laced his fingers through McKenna’s under the table. She turned her head and flashed him a smile full of love before she looked back at Robert again.

“Then Felicity, who has always been like a second daughter to me, decided to get married too. Just like Oliver, she proved good judgement.”

From the corner of his eyes, Oliver could see Felicity leaning back against Carter until her back was resting against his chest and her head rested against his shoulder. Carter snuggled his face into the crook of her neck and whispered something into her ear.

“Two of my children decided to get married, and I wish both of them the best of luck.” He raised his glass. “To Oliver and McKenna. And to Felicity and Carter. May your marriages be filled with love and trust.”

Everyone else raised their glasses to each other too before they took some sips. As Robert sat back down, everyone resumed with their conversations and started eating.

“Have either of you decided on a wedding date yet?” Donna asked. “Or are you planning on a double wedding.”

“God, no,” Oliver and Felicity replied in chorus.

Their eyes met and they both grinned. They disagreed on a lot of things, but they usually agreed when it was important. As different as they were, they were too similar to disagree on things like that.

“McKenna and I want to get married at the beginning of November.”

Moira perked up her eyebrows in surprise. “That’s soon.”

Oliver flashed McKenna a smile. “If you know you know.”

McKenna smiled back at him. “Absolutely.”

“Still, there is just a little bit over a month to organize this,” Donna said. “Have you really thought this through?”

Oliver felt like an unsaid _Maybe you change your mind and realize Felicity is the love of your life after all_ could he heard in her voice. Maybe it was just the fact that Donna and his mother usually added thoughts like that that made him think about it now.

“Oliver and I don’t want a big wedding actually,” McKenna said. “I mean we want a nice ceremony and reception, but it shouldn’t be too big. We are confident that we will make it in time, especially with your help, Moira.”

“Of course you can count on me,” Moira said immediately. “We can sit down together next week and start planning already if you have time.”

“Sounds great.” McKenna smiled. “I’d be happy for any help that I can get.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if McKenna would still think the same way after his mother had turned all her ideas for the wedding around to make it fit into her vision of a wedding that was appropriate for the Queen Family. McKenna was usually strong-headed, and she certainly didn’t shy away from saying what she wanted. He wasn’t sure if that was going to be enough to convince his mother though.

“The thing neither of you have to think about is the engagement party though,” Donna said. “Moira and I will take care of that.”

“Oh, a shared engagement party?” Janice asked. “That sounds like a nice idea.”

“The moment Donna and I knew our kids were both getting married, we knew that we wanted to do this,” Moira said with an excited smile. “I hope you don’t mind that we are doing this, Janice?”

“You are actually taking a lot of work from my shoulders that I wouldn’t even have time for right now.” Janice smiled. “I am too busy with the charity party for the low-income housing. I can tell you. It’s so much work.”

Oliver could see Carter rolling with his eyes and for a moment Oliver wondered if maybe they had something in common after all. As much as Oliver appreciated the charity work his mother was doing, he sometimes felt like she and her other privileged friends were trying to fight each other on who was doing the most charity.

Felicity grinned and patted his cheek before she kissed the underside of his jaw gently. Oliver looked away quickly. He wasn’t ready for seeing something like that.

“Actually, I am not sure that this engagement party is a good idea,” Felicity said eventually. “Carter and I don’t really want to make a big fuss.”

“If there is a reason to make a big fuss,” Moira said, “it’s this. You are only getting married once if it’s going good.”

“I hope it’s going good,” Carter said with a smile. “I am confident.”

“Of course it will be,” Felicity agreed before she turned back to Moira. “I just arrived in Starling though and I still have to learn the ropes of the company and-“

“Don’t worry about that,” Robert told her soothingly. “You get all the time in the world for that.”

“Yes, but I still have to move and there is so much to take care of.”

“Like what?” Donna asked, cocking her head.

Felicity opened her mouth to reply, but it seemed like she didn’t know what she could or should say to that. She shot Oliver a meaningful glance, and he quickly nodded his head and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, Felicity’s right. McKenna and I want to get married soon anyway,” he added, “so it really isn’t worth putting your energy in-“

“Balderdash!” Donna said, waving with her hand. “You will get your engagement party if you want to or not.”

Oliver’s eyes met Felicity’s and they both shrugged their shoulders. They knew they stood no chance against their mothers. If they had an idea, they wouldn’t let anyone keep them from going through with it. In that, they were probably just like Oliver and Felicity.

So, they had no choice. They would get that engagement party whether they wanted to or not.


	4. Fargin

_= To wholeheartedly appreciate the success of others (Yiddish)_

 

Oliver couldn’t contain the smile on his face as the hot water pelted down on his skin. He was going to spend most of his day with Felicity since they had a lot to work on now that she was going to become Junio CEO alongside him. Adding the plans that he had for the afternoon, this day was just promising to be great.

He couldn’t even say when he had been in a good mood like this the last time. It was just that everything seemed to be perfect now.

He lived in a loft that was all his and that he loved very much. He had a great relationship with his parents and his sister. He had an amazing fiancée. His best friend was back in Starling City, so they were able to see each other whenever they wanted and actually meet up rather than just using a video chat. They were also working together, so even during the busiest of times in their jobs they would see each other anytime. With his little secret hobby, he had even found a real purpose in life that made him feel good. That he had been voted hottest businessman under thirty years was just the topping on the cake.

Right now, Oliver had everything he could possibly want in life, so he had every reason to smile even though he had to get up at six in the morning.

Turning off the stream of water, Oliver opened the shower door and grabbed his towel. He dried himself quickly before he wrapped the towel around his hips and stepped out of the shower and towards the mirror. Looking at his reflection and moving his fingers through his stubble, he considered shaving. He had never been a real fan of the stubble in the first place. He had mainly just been too lazy to shave every other way.

“Still no shaving?”

With perked up eyebrows Oliver turned around. He chuckled when he saw McKenna leaning in the frame of the door and watching him with a soft smile on her lips.

“No,” Oliver replied with a grin. “Not yet.”

McKenna puckered her lips and cocked her head at Oliver. Slowly, she walked over to him. Her short silken nightgown with the fine lace at the chest emphasized her tall and slim body. She looked incredibly sexy, definitely not like she had just gotten out of bed. It was one of those miraculous things about McKenna. She almost looked like she was ready to go out on the catwalk, and it was all just her natural beauty.

Stopping in front of him, McKenna put her hands on his chest and stroked her fingers up and down his defined muscles. Her long fingernails scraped over his skin lightly and teasingly, and it felt good. Oliver just pushed his tongue into his cheek and watched her though.

“Not even if I-“ McKenna straightened up onto the tip of her toes and brushed her lips against his. Her teeth dug into his bottom lip slightly before she pulled back and looked at him with a seductive expression in her eyes. “-ask very nicely?”

Oliver faltered for a moment, considering her offer, before he leaned down to bring his lips impossibly close to McKenna’s, so they were almost touching already when he replied, “No. Not even then.”

McKenna needed a second before she could progress his answer, but only a second later they were both chuckling already. Shaking her head, she pecked his lips once more and shoved him away playfully.

“Fine, I’ll give up.” She chuckled and snuggled back up to him, even closer this time. “I missed your shower, so maybe you want to join me for mine?”

Her fingers were already dancing around his hips, following the hem of the towel. As much as Oliver might love to give in, he knew he couldn’t though. With a sigh, he grabbed her wrists and pushed them away gently.

“Sorry,” he said. “As wonderful as that offer sounds, I am supposed to be in the office at eight-thirty to meet Felicity, and she really doesn’t like me to be late.”

There was a glimpse in McKenna’s eyes that Oliver couldn’t understand. He wasn’t even sure what it was that he saw glimpsing in her eyes. A part of him almost believed it was jealousy, but McKenna had never been the jealous kind because she had no reason to. He had never been unfaithful to her and if he had flirted with some woman during their relationship, it had never been more than a little flirtation on his part.

As quickly as the glimpse had been there, it was quickly gone again, so Oliver figured that it wasn’t important.

He pecked McKenna’s lips briefly once more before he turned back to the sink and started brushing his teeth. Meanwhile McKenna took off her nightgown and got under the shower.

“Do you know when you will be home tonight?” she asked as the turned on the water. “I was wondering if maybe we could go through some plans for the wedding tonight. It’s only a couple of weeks to our wedding, and we haven’t really planned anything yet.”

Still brushing his teeth, Oliver turned around and leaned back against the sink. He watched the outline of McKenna’s body behind the fogged shower glass as she continued shampooing her hair and frowned slightly.

“Do you regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“That we decided to get married so soon,” Oliver said. “I mean it is a lot of planning and there really isn’t much time, so-“

“I don’t regret it at all.” McKenna put her hand to the shower wall and wiped away some of the fog, so he could see her face. “Do you?”

“No,” Oliver said firmly, shaking his head. “The sooner we get married, the better.”

“Exactly,” McKenna agreed, nodding her head. “And I’d prefer something small anyway though I guess the Queen-standards for small are not what I assume them to be.”

Oliver chuckled and rinsed his mouth with water. McKenna was right. They probably weren’t.

When Oliver had turned eight years old, his mother had told him that they would do a small birthday for him. That small birthday had included half of his classmates being invited, a bouncy castle being arranged and a giant buffet being set. Felicity’s small birthday party a couple of weeks before on the other hand had been the two of them together in her room with a bowl of popcorn and a collection of movies.

In Queen-Standards, small just wasn’t what the word made it sound like.

As McKenna got out of the shower, Oliver walked over to his dresser and changed into some boxer briefs before moving over to his wardrobe and taking out a llight grey suit with a steel-blue tie. His hair was dry by now, and he added some gel to it blindly before he headed downstairs into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee, tying his shoes while he was waiting for the coffee percolate.

He tried to quit caffeine, but he hadn’t been successful with quitting it completely yet. Since Felicity had been back, it had even gotten harder to limit himself to one or two mugs a day as Felicity was drinking coffee like water. He doubted there had been a single day in the ten days that she had been back that she hadn’t drunk at least two liters of coffee.

With the busy schedule today – because although he was just meeting with Felicity, they had a lot of work ahead of them – Oliver felt like he was in need of some caffeine though.

Like almost every morning when McKenna was working the late shift, by the time he had filled his coffee into his thermo mug, she was strolling down the stairs in her silk kimono. He quickly poured the rest of the coffee into a mug and handed it over to her. McKenna, just like Felicity, lived and died for coffee.

“Thanks.”

“You are very welcome.”

Oliver smiled at her before he turned away to close the lid of his thermo mug. He always drank his coffee on the way to work. The traffic through the heart of Starling was a nightmare at this time of the day. Of course he could follow Felicity’s example and walk to Queen Consolidated, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so.

“So?” McKenna asked eventually. “Are you in for tonight?”

“Tonight?” Oliver frowned. “What’s tonight.”

McKenna rolled her eyes. “Wedding planning, Ollie.”

“Oh, right!” Oliver slapped his hand in front of his forehead. “Sorry, my head’s full with work stuff right now.”

McKenna nodded slowly when he turned around to her. Her smile might have wavered a little, but the ghost of it was still there.

“Should we delay the wedding planning?”

“No,” Oliver replied quickly, shaking his head. “No, of course not. “I will make it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, cocking her head. “I know how important it is to you to make sure everything goes smoothly with Felicity’s introduction into the company and-“

“No, no.” Oliver said quickly because although he knew McKenna wouldn’t offer this if she didn’t mean it, he figured they really had to start working on the basic decisions for their wedding. “Or, yes, it is important to me, but that doesn’t mean that our wedding has to come short. We will do this. Tonight. I will ask Felicity if she has time to join us too.”

McKenna nodded. “Yes, sure. She is your best woman after all.”

“Exactly though I still have to ask her actually.”

Oliver moved his fingers through his hair almost a little bit nervously. He had never really thought he’d ever get married, so he couldn’t say that he had always imagined Felicity to be at his side when he tied the knot. Since he had decided to propose to McKenna, he had known that he had wanted her to be his best woman though.

He just hoped that with her new job and her new relationship and her own wedding ahead she’d still agree to do this. It would mean the world to him.

“I might have mentioned it to her already,” McKenna said carefully. “She’d love to do it.”

“Okay, great.” Despite his surprise that McKenna had brought that up during the short time she had talked to Felicity so far, Oliver felt a smile of relief spreading on his chest. “I will ask her today anyway to make it official, you know?”

“Of course.” McKenna smiled. “I am sure she will be happy to do it though.”

Oliver nodded, taking in a deep breath. He really hoped McKenna was right.

“So, let’s say we will meet at six at your parent’s home?” McKenna asked. “I will call Moira later and ask her if she has time to help us. She offered to help after all.”

“She will love it,” Oliver assured McKenna, keeping to himself that his mother would probably snatch most of the planning away from them anyway. “Let’s just say seven though. I have something else to do.”

“With Felicity?”

Oliver stumbled about her question a little. Though there had been no sign of reproach in her voice, he could almost hear the hidden question that was lying beneath there. He quickly shook his head.

“No, there is something else.”

McKenna just nodded her head and it made Oliver frown slightly. Maybe she wasn’t that comfortable with his best friend being a woman than she had tried to make him believe so far. She wouldn’t be the first to have a little bit of trouble with how close he and Felicity was.

Oliver couldn’t count how many of his girlfriends in high school had had problems with that. They had been jealous or whatever. It had always been one of the reasons why the relationship had ended eventually.

Placing his thermo mug on the kitchen counter, Oliver went over to McKenna. He wrapped his arms around her waist loosely and took in her face.

“You didn’t really have the chance to get to know Felicity yet,” Oliver said, “but you did talk a little when I was late to our coffee last week and during brunch. Are you two getting along?”

It was actually a question he had wondered about a lot before Felicity had eventually moved here. In high school, when his girlfriend hadn’t gotten along with Felicity or the fact that she was an important person in his life, he had just dumped them. Back then, it had been as easy as that.

Now it was different though. McKenna wasn’t just any girlfriend. She was his fiancée. She was here to stay, so it was important to him that she and Felicity were getting along.

Just like Felicity insisted that it was important to her that he and Carter got along though Oliver had failed miserably at trying so far.

“You are right. We didn’t really have the chance to get to know each other,” McKenna replied with a soft smile, “but she is your best friend and she seemed really nice. I mean she is funny and kind and smart. I hope that we will become friends eventually.”

Oliver smiled with relief. Felicity and McKenna were quite different, but so were he and McKenna. Maybe, with some luck, the two women would become friends and all problems there could possibly grow from his best friend being a woman would be nipped in the bud.

“Great. That is exactly what I wanted to hear.” With a quick glance at his watch, he pecked her lips chastely. “And now I gotta head to work.”

McKenna smiled. “Have a nice day.”

“You too.”

Oliver grabbed his travel mug and his keys and walked towards the door. He lifted his hand for a brief wave and stepped out of the door.

Today really was promising to be a great day already.

 

* * *

 

“Let me get this straight,” Felicity said, frowning as she looked at the charts of numbers Oliver had just handed to her. “You are telling me that the production of the bio-stimulant implants is already more expensive than anyone who isn’t a billionaire is able to pay, so no insurance will pay for it either, and the key piece of the implant is not even functioning reliably yet.”

Oliver pursed his lips. He wished there was a way that he could honestly say no to this and twist the words a little, so it didn’t sound that much like a dead-end. After he had defended this project to Carter during brunch, unable to admit that he might not be as successful as the neurosurgeon, he didn’t want Felicity to believe that he had lied.

“There is still hope.” Oliver cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the doubting tone in his voice. “I mean if we just find a more profitable way to produce-“

“No, no, no!”

Felicity shook her head firmly. She shot him a brief glance over the rim of her glasses before she looked back at the charts of charges the project had already required from them. Frowning, she grabbed her umpteenth mug of coffee and took in the numbers almost like she wanted to memorize them.

Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth slightly as he watched her. He guessed he had to admit that Carter had been kind of right. As promising as it was, there was no use in producing a semi-good piece of tech that was basically unaffordable anyway.

“There is still a little hope there,” Oliver repeated carefully, clearing his throat once more, as he wasn’t ready to admit defeat just yet. “I mean if we just find a way to make the production more affordable and-“

“No.”

Felicity’s voice was firm when she interrupted him. She put the piece of paper away with a shake of her head and lifted her gaze to him.

“No, if we are doing this, and God knows we will do this because this project is gold, we are doing this right,” Felicity told him. “We will invest even more money until the implant is functioning perfectly. There can’t be any normal malfunctions or something like that. Those have to be a rareness. After that, we will try to find a way to make it affordable for the general public.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. He wasn’t sure if he was more surprised that she wanted to continue working on this or about how she wanted to work on it. He knew that Felicity had quite a different perspective at something like this though. As a geek, she was just much more likely to see the technical side of their development, while Oliver saw the financial side of things. He looked at the red numbers in bold print on the paper briefly before he looked back at Felicity again.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “This project already cost a lot of money. If we invest even more money into developing the functions rather than making the product affordable, we might have a great implant at the end, but we have to tell everyone interested in it that they will never be able to afford it.”

“Maybe,” Felicity said, “but it doesn’t make sense to make it affordable before we know how to make it work properly. I have a couple of ideas for both developments that are needed, but we have to take one step at a time. The product is only promising if it works properly. As long as it doesn’t work properly, it can’t be on the market anyway.”

“But it would be like holding out a treasure for the people and telling them that they will never get it,” Oliver said. “It’s not fair.”

“It will give them hope,” Felicity objected, shaking her head. “If we make this work, even if we run out of money doing so, it’s still a greater success. People might even donate us money to help moving this project along if we really lose all our money.”

Oliver didn’t even want to think about what would happen if the company’s money was going to get lost during the first project he and Felicity had decided to take on. His father would probably behead him since the company had spruced those last years under his leadership.

“And you really think that we can make it work?” Oliver asked. “To make the biostimulant work and to make it affordable?”

Felicity cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at him teasingly. “What happened to _If someone can make it work, it’s her_?”

Oliver puckered his lips and nodded his head slightly. She was right. He had said that he trusted her to make this project successful after all. So all doubts aside, he should actually trust her now that she had trust in the success of the project.

“You are right,” he said. “If you say we can make it, we will make it.”

“Good, Partner.” Felicity smiled proudly. “Let me take care of the work at the implant and just make sure we are not running out of money in the meantime.”

Oliver chuckled. “Don’t worry about that, _Partner_. I already have an idea where we can spare some money to invest in the further developments.”

They smiled at each other for a long moment, both relieved that they had come to an agreement in this. They had put the discussion about what to do with this project at the very end of their long work day because they had feared it would take a lot of time to decide what to do about it. That just hadn’t been the case.

“We make a pretty good team, you and I,” Oliver said, and there was no surprise in his voice. “An even better one than I thought we’d make.”

Felicity’s smile widened. “We just complement each other perfectly. You know the company and where to scrape together some money. I understand what we are working on and know what is needed to be innovative in this branch.”

“Absolutely.” Oliver nodded his head in agreement and leaned back in his chair. “But I think that’s enough for today.”

“Thank God,” Felicity replied with a sigh that turned into a chuckle at the expression that spread on his face. “My head’s already spinning. I am not used to working through papers for so long. It’s the part I leave up to you gladly.”

“Hey, if you go down to the nerds in our operating departments, sure.”

Felicity chuckled. “Don’t worry. I speak Nerdish fluently.”

“Oh, I know you do. You are one of them after all.”

There was a long moment of silence as they were catching their breaths after the long time of work. They had only made a brief pause to grab some lunch. After that, they had gone right back to work, so it was no surprise that they needed some time to recover now. As much as they had enjoyed working together and as quickly as the time had seemed to pass, it had still been a long time of work.

Back in high school, when Felicity had studied with Oliver for every test and every exam they had had, time hadn’t passed so quickly. Every moment had been torture to him. Only the fact that Felicity had been there with him and had tried to add some fun to the learning had made him go through with it anyway.

It was different now since they were working together at equals. Oliver could still learn a lot from Felicity as she knew better than anyone else what all the developments their employees were coming up with meant. Maybe for the first time in their lives, Felicity could learn something from Oliver too though. She could learn the ropes of the company and the finances that made her work possible.

It was a good feeling.

Eventually, Oliver cleared his throat. “So, how are things between you and Carter? Did you fully move in with him yet?”

A grin spread on Felicity’s face, but she tried to bite it back when she answered, “Yes, I did. His apartment is incredible. It’s in an old building with high ceilings and a lot of old double doors. It’s lovely. You and McKenna should visit us someday.”

Oliver released a strangled noise. Just thinking about going to visit Carter Bowen seemed ridiculous. It was Carter Bowen after all.

At the quite sad expression that spread on Felicity’s face, he regretted it though. Felicity was trying to really get to know McKenna, so he owed it to Felicity to do the same for Carter.

He grabbed Felicity’s hand on the tabletop and squeezed it comfortingly until she lifted her gaze and locked eyes with him. He squeezed her hand once more, stroking his thumb over the knuckles of her fingers.

“I am trying,” he told her. “I promise I will do my best and really try to get to know Carter and maybe even like him.”

Felicity sighed and turned more towards him. Her fingers held onto his hand when she lifted her other hand to stroke her fingers through his stubble. She always did that in this gentle way that Oliver enjoyed so much.

“I know it’s rough for you because of how your mother always made Carter look like the perfect son,” she said, “but it’s all I am asking from you. Just try.”

Oliver nodded his head. He knew it would be impossibly hard, not just because it was Carter, they were talking about but also because it was about Felicity. When Thea had had her first serious boyfriend, Oliver had made sure the guy knew exactly what would happen to him if he hurt his little sister. Felicity was just as important to him as Thea, and he wanted to spare her heart from any heartbreak as much as he had wanted to spare Thea’s.

If Carter was the one Felicity had given her heart to, he would do his best to respect that. Even though it would be hard.

“Have you and McKenna made any progress with the wedding planning yet?” Felicity asked eventually and pulled both of her hands back to loosen her hair tie and redo her high ponytail once more. “It’s about time I’d say.”

“We want to meet later today,” Oliver told her. “And speaking of, I’d like you to come too. I think McKenna and I could use your help since you are probably the only one who is able to keep my mother in check?”

“I am?”

Oliver chuckled. “I think she’s still trying to stay in your good graces, almost like she thinks you might become her daughter-in-law after all.”

“I am not.”

“You and I know that,” Oliver replied with a wide grin, “but I doubt she does.”

Felicity chuckled, but it ended in a sigh. They both knew that their mothers would probably never lose hope that they would get together one day. They had quit being too obvious about it, especially since they were both engaged to someone else now, but Oliver didn’t doubt that they had abandoned that hope of one day yet.

“Now, is that the only reason you want me to be there?”  There was a playful smile on Felicity’s lips when she perked up her eyebrows and cocked her head. “Or is there something else?”

Oliver grinned, knowing exactly what to do. Since McKenna had already mentioned to her that he wanted her to be his best woman, he guessed she wanted to be asked officially, so that would be exactly what she’d get.

Getting up from his chair, Oliver stepped next to Felicity’s chair. He turned it around at the armrests, so she was facing him. His grin widened when Felicity leaned back and looked up at him with an amused sparkle in her eyes.

“Felicity Meghan Smoak.” His voice was soft as he spoke and got down on one knee in front of her, feeling his heartbeat quickening a little though he couldn’t really say why. She chuckled, slapping her hands in front of her mouth, but Oliver took one of her hand to hold it between both of his. He waited until she looked at him again. “You have been and still are the best friend I ever had. We have gone through so much together, and I want you to be there when I take the next important step in my life. So, will you please do me the honor of becoming my best woman?”

Felicity chuckled, nodding her head. “Of course I will.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, of course.”

They both beamed at each other for a moment before Oliver got up, pulling Felicity up onto her feet too. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into his arms slightly the way he had when he had picked her up from the train station ten days ago.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

Oliver chuckled. “Maybe a little.”

He set Felicity back to the floor and smiled at her happily. She straightened up onto the tip of her toes and kissed his cheek, making him smile only more.

“So, how about we celebrate our successful first decisions as well as me being your best woman now with a drink?” Felicity glanced at her watch briefly. “I mean it’s only four, so it might be a little bit early, but I think we deserve it.”

Oliver scrunched up his nose. “I would love to, but I actually have someplace to be.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “With McKenna?”

There was a moment of hesitation. Oliver almost felt like this was a déjà-vu since he had had almost the same conversation with McKenna this morning. It almost seemed like the two most important women in his life were jealous of one another. The thought only made him chuckle and shake his head though.

“No,” he replied. “It’s something else.”

Felicity looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to go a little bit more into detail. For the break of a second, he even considered telling her where he was going. She would be the first to know. Though Oliver knew that, if he ever told someone about his secret hobby, it would be her, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Not yet.

“What?” she asked when Oliver shook his head. “You are not telling me?”

“No, I am not.”

Oliver chuckled at the incredulous expression on her face and took the jacket of his suit to put it on. He had taken it off at some point to roll up the sleeves of his white shirt and made himself a little bit more comfortable. He buttoned the topmost buttons of his shirt and straightened his tie a little.

“I can’t believe you aren’t telling me,” Felicity said, her voice still of disbelief, as she watched him packing together his stuff. “This is the second secret you are keeping from me now. What happened to our friendship?”

Oliver chuckled. He knew she was trying to guilt him into telling her, but he wouldn’t let her succeed. The secret he was keeping was a good one, and he wanted to keep it to himself for just a little while longer. One day he would tell her, and he was sure she’d understand.

“Our friendship is still perfect,” Oliver told Felicity leaning forward over the back of her chair and kissed her cheek like she had kissed his before. “I will see you tonight.”

“See you tonight,” Felicity agreed. “Secretmonger.”

Oliver only chuckled and shook his head once more as he walked out of the door. He knew Felicity wasn’t taking offense at the fact he wasn’t telling her the truth. He knew her too well to think she really meant it.

 

* * *

 

Once his car was safe in the parking lot, Oliver turned off the engine and made a mental note to use his motorcycle when he came here the next time. His cross-country vehicle just wasn’t the best choice when he was heading into the Glades. There weren’t enough parking lots, and the ones there were just weren’t big enough for his car.

Oliver got out of his car and locked the car as he quickly walked around it to the sidewalk. He stayed there for a moment, looking at the little building in front of him. Pride filled his chest as he looked at the big sign over the red doors.

_The Geek Squad._

This building, what was inside and everything it stood for was what made his life worth living. The work he was doing at Queen Consolidated was important. The project he and Felicity were working on was supposed to give people hope. She was the one who would do most of the work there though. He was just making sure there was enough money for her to implement her plans. With The Geek Squad it was different though. This was all his.

Oliver took a quick look around to make sure nobody he knew and no reporter from the tabloids was here. Of course none of his friends and not even the most desperate reporter would follow him into the Glades. Most people he knew were avoiding getting here as the neighborhood was known to be dangerous because of the poverty the citizens here were suffering from.

It was why the Glades had been the perfect place for him to build The Geek Squad. The people he wanted to help – people who didn’t have the money to reach their goals alone and who didn’t have the money for their children to reach their goals either – were living here, and he could help them without being praised for it at all.

He knew it was probably weird that he didn’t want to be praised for the charity he was doing. Unlike his mother, who was doing charity work to be praised for it in the local newspaper as well as by her friends, Oliver didn’t want any of that. He just wanted to do this because he was right. He wanted to do this because he knew how important it was that girls of low-income families that were interested in STEM had to be supported. Their interests and their skills had to be supported early.

Oliver smiled, looking at the building. This was his baby. Unlike the company and all of his money that he was just inheriting from his father, this was something he had built from scratch. It was why it was the one thing in his life he was most proud of.

With another quick look around, Oliver finally crossed the sidewalk and snuck into the building. Behind the wide red doors, there was a large entrance room. The cheap PVC floor coating had a certain smell to it, just like the old wallpaper. Maybe one day Oliver would replace them with something that had less smell to it

For now, floor coating and wallpapers were the least of his worries though. Much more importantly was that the girls who were coming here regularly got a chance to really live their hobby and have their fun. He wanted them to learn something here, something neither the schools they were going to nor their parents had the money to offer them.

Stepping towards the reception where Rosalie Norris, the reliable and always friendly secretary, was working, he leaned his forearms onto the top of the counter and looked at her. Rosalie was completely focused on something on the monitor of her computer. Oliver was almost sure that he would see some cat videos playing there if he just turned his head to look at the monitor. He didn’t care enough to actually take a look though.

“Hi.”

Rosalie flinched as she turned around to him. Her cheeks reddened and she put her hand to her heart as she quickly closed the window on her computer. Only then she turned around to him more and looked at Oliver with an almost smitten smile.

“I am sorry,” she said, smiling widely. “I didn’t see you, Mr. Smoak.”

_Mr. Smoak_. Now that Felicity was actually living in Starling City again, it seemed a little weird that he had decided to use the surname Smoak to hide his real identity. It had just been the first name that had come to his mind when he had been asked about his surname. Felicity had been a part of his life for so long that her name came so natural to him. It had fallen from his name as easily as his real surname would have.

He was sure that most people would think it was weird that he was hiding his real name even from the people working here with him. The name Queen was quite popular in Starling City though. He was sure that if he had used his real surname, it would have already become public that he was leading this center.

“Don’t worry about it, Rosalie,” Oliver replied. “I haven’t waited for long. I guess it’s quiet today?”

It was quiet most days. Oliver wasn’t sure if The Geek Squad just needed more advertisement to make interested girl know there was a place they could go or if maybe there weren’t enough girls interested in this. Maybe he should just be happy there was a handful of girls he was able to help.

“Actually, there is a new girl that is interested.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “There is?”

Rosalie nodded, smiling happily. “Yes, there is. Her name is Josephina, and she is eight years old. Carrie is currently showing her around.”

Oliver nodded. Carrie, as little as he thought of her as a person, was good at making girls like The Geek Squad. She was just able to convince them of this project better than Oliver was able to convince them of it. He guessed with his broad chest and defined muscles he was rather terrifying for the young girls.

“Thank you, Rosalie.”

“You are very welcome.” Rosalie smiled. “Mr. Smoak.”

_Mr. Smoak._ Oliver doubted that he’d ever get tired of being called that. There was just something to the way that name rang that he liked very much. It was probably the fact that it reminded him of old times when he had called Felicity Ms. Smoak during her internships at Queen Consolidated. He had loved teasing her like that.

Straightening his shoulders and taking in a deep breath, he left the reception and headed around the next corner into the hallway that led to the laboratories where the interested girls could try some tech stuff. His small office was somewhere there too.

He had just turned the corner when he already saw Carrie with a little girl by her side. The girl was smiling all over her face. Her braided plait was jumping up and down with her bouncing steps. He guessed that she liked what Carrie had showed to her.

“And that, Josie, is Mr. Smoak,” Carrie said gesturing towards Oliver. “He’s the one who built The Geek Squad.”

Smiling Oliver went down on his knees, so he didn’t look that frighteningly tall. Josephina hesitated for a moment before she walked over to him and reached out her hand for him.

“Hello, Mr. Smoak.”

Oliver smiled, shaking her head. “Hi, Josie. Did Carrie show you everything?”

Josie nodded. “She let me try the microscopes in the laboratory, and it was so cool. I looked at one of my hairs under it.”

“That’s indeed very cool,” Oliver replied, his smile widening given how happy Josie was. “If you come here again, you can look at my hair or Carrie’s hair or maybe the hair of your pet. Or maybe you want to try something else.”

“No, I want to see more under the microscope,” Josie replied. “We once used them in biology, but they aren’t as good as the ones here.”

“Yeah, we spent a lot of money on finding the best microscopes,” Oliver told her, “so if you want to use them, you just have to come back.”

Josie nodded excitedly. “I will. It’s so cool.”

Oliver smiled. When he had been at her age, or any age really, he doubted he would have had interest in microscopes. Anything that would have remotely reminded him of school couldn’t have been cool. School just hadn’t been something he had had fun at. Ever.

“Do you have someone to take you here?” Oliver asked Josephina. “Can your mom or your dad bring you here? You shouldn’t walk through the neighborhood alone.”

Josie shrugged her shoulders. “I always walk alone.”

There was no sadness in her voice because she probably didn’t know it any other way. Her words made Oliver sad though. No kid should walk through the Glades alone and feel like it was okay that way. He didn’t know if her parents had to work all day and couldn’t afford for someone to take care of Josie or if they just didn’t care enough. Either way it was sad, and he hoped that The Geek Squad would offer a safe place for Josie to stay.

“Mr. Smoak?”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows and smiled at her. “Yes?”

“Why did you call this The Geek Squad?”

The smile on Oliver’s lips widened even more and grew even softer. It had taken him a long time to decide on a name for this organization. Once he had found it, he had known that he had been blind before.

“You know, I have a very good friend, my best friend in the whole wide world actually,” Oliver said, “and she is unbelievably smart. I have never met anyone who is as smart as her. She is a real nerd, and her friend, her other friends, were nerds too. That is why I always called them The Geek Squad.”

“So you named it after them?”

“Actually,” Oliver said and cleared his voice quietly, “I named it after her. Whenever I read the name The Geek Squad, I have to think about her and I am reminded why I am doing this.”

“And why are you doing this?”

Oliver grinned. He loved if kids were nosy. Nosiness was the key to learning. He was pretty sure Felicity had said something like that to him year ago.

“I am doing this because my best friend-“

“-the one you named this The Geek Squad for.”

“Exactly.” Oliver chuckled. “She is very smart, but she was also very poor. Her father left the family and her mother didn’t have the money to support her interests. I don’t think that she really understood it either. She got help from someone though, someone who did have the money to support her and that is why she was able to go to MIT and make all her dreams come true.”

“She couldn’t do so herself?”

“Maybe she could have done,” Oliver replied honestly, “because she is not just smart but also incredibly strong. I still think it has been a lot easier with the way it has been for her. She didn’t have to work a crappy job to finance her studies, and she doesn’t have to pay debts for the rest of her life.”

Josie nodded. “What’s her name?”

Oliver smiled. “It’s Felicity.”

“Felicity.” Megan repeated the name in a soft whisper. “That’s a nice name.”

“She’s a nice person.” Oliver’s smile widened. “She’s the best.”

There was no doubt in his voice. In all the years he had known Felicity, he had always known that she was the one person he really needed in his life.

When Josie eventually left, he was left alone in the hallway with Carrie. She stepped closer to him, inappropriately close maybe. Her chin was almost resting on his upper arm. Oliver stepped a little aside.

“I gotta go to the office now,” he said, clearing his throat. “I have some orders to make.”

Carrie perked up her eyebrows. “New projects, Mr. Smoak?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied. “I want to expand our possibilities a little.”

“That sounds promising.”

Carrie fluttered her eyelashes. When she took a step towards him, already reaching out her hands to touch him, Oliver stepped away quickly.

“I gotta go now. Bye, Carrie.”

He hurried to his office and closed the door behind him. By now, he was quite talented at sneaking away from Carrie Cutter. Since he had hired her to work here, she had tried to flirt with him. Sometimes she was more aggressive and sometimes she was less aggressive. Either way, Oliver had always managed to sneak away from her though even if he had had to get creative about it sometimes.

With a sigh, Oliver walked over to his small desk and sat down behind it. His so-called office was more like a cubby, but he didn’t mind. As long as he was here, he didn’t need a big office like the one he had at QC. All the money he was investing into this organization was money that should benefit the girls that were coming here to learn something. That was what mattered.

Oliver switched on his laptop and went through the order he had already finished. He added a couple more things to order before he sent it. He didn’t want to go too big with this organization because he wanted the girls of the Glades to feel safe to come here.

Leaning back in his chair with a sigh, Oliver looked at the photo he had placed at the right edge of the desk. It showed him and Felicity on her high school graduation. It still amazed him how she had managed to graduate a year before him although she was a year younger had been through the loss of her father and her home in young years.

No matter what life had thrown at her, Felicity hadn’t let anything stop herself from going the way she needed to go and becoming the person she wanted to become. She had been strong and she had continued fighting to make her dreams come true.

He knew that his parents had been a great help because they had managed to offer Donna and Felicity a place to stay. They had given their lives stability after Noah Kuttler had left them with a life that could have easily broken down like a card house. They surely had helped for Felicity to reach what she had dreamed of.

Still, Oliver knew that Felicity had done a lot for that herself. She had never given up to ask questions and to continue learning. She had never let the complications of her life stop her from following her dreams.

She was probably the most inspirational person he had ever met.

If it wasn’t for her, he might have never built something like this. With his privileged life, he might have never seen how much other people were struggling. His life had been so easy that he would have probably been blind for the struggle of others if it hadn’t been for Felicity.

Knowing Felicity had made him realize that people not being able to reach their dreams had nothing to do with the fact that they weren’t trying enough or the fact that they didn’t have any dreams in the first place. Instead, it was just because they were growing up in the wrong circumstances.

In the Glades, people didn’t have money. They had to work crappy job to afford the basic necessities in life. He doubted there were a lot of parents that could offer their children good education programs in addition to school. The kids were lucky if they were able to get to school safely in the first place.

Girls, even girls from well-earning families, had trouble establishing themselves in STEM because it was still a male-dominated branch. Girls from low-income families had even more trouble because their skills weren’t even supported in the first place. Their talents just got lost in their crappy circumstances surrounding their lives.

If he could just help one single girl to become successful in STEM, it would have all been worth it. Just one single girl.


	5. Wabi-Sabi

_= Finding beauty in the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay (Japanese)_

 

Cocking her head, Felicity looked herself up and down in the mirror. Her fingers played with the ruffles of her white top briefly before she stroked them down to the silver pencil skirt that fitted around her hips smoothly. Thanks to the hair and make-up artist who had had worked her magic on her, Felicity couldn’t deny that she looked stunning even if she’d try to.

Taking in a deep breath, she put on a smile and watched the reflection of it thoroughly. Over the last days that she had done her best to train her smile, she hadn’t been able to bring it to perfection yet. She was sure that, after two glasses of champagne, nobody would see the tension beneath it though.

“You can do this,” Felicity whispered to herself, trying to calm her down. “This is going to be great.”

She didn’t really believe herself, so her words only made her shake her head. Releasing a deep sigh, Felicity turned around and walked over to the bed. She sat down on the edge of the mattress and grabbed her shoes from where she had placed them on the soft carpet.

Slipping into the silver strap high heels, Felicity wondered once more how she was going to get through night. Formal events just weren’t where she felt comfortable. She knew it was crazy to agree on becoming Junior CEO which basically meant taking on a representative task when she wasn’t feeling comfortable around it. Feeling comfortable at a formal event that was all about tech was just so much easier.

Felicity sighed once more. She was probably the only woman who’d rather spend an entire evening talking about work than talking about her upcoming wedding. She just wasn’t good at talking about herself or her feelings.

Once the straps of her shoes were fastened, Felicity lifted her gaze. The door to the en-suite bathroom had been left ajar, allowing her to watch Carter. He was standing in front of the mirror in his black suit pants, a simple white shirt and bow tie as he was applying some gel to his hair. He didn’t look nervous at all, but Felicity wasn’t surprised about it. Carter had grown up with events like these.

Thinking her own thoughts through, Felicity frowned. She had basically grown up with events like these too. Whenever there had been a fancy party at the Queen Mansion, Donna had been invited, so she had taken Felicity with her. She and Oliver had always snuck upstairs at the first opportunity given to watch movies or do whatever else. They had never been there for long.

When Carter noticed her gaze on him, he winked at her in the mirror. Felicity just smiled to herself and cocked her head, watching Carter even more thoroughly.

Soon, Felicity puckered her lips and got up from the bed. She walked over to Carter and wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting both of her hands on top of his heart. She wanted to lean her face against his shoulder blade and close her eyes for a moment, but she didn’t want to ruin his shirt.

“Are you okay?” Carter asked her and stroked a hand over the back of hers. “Are you nervous?”

“Terribly,” Felicity replied honestly. “Is that bad?”

“Of course not.” Carter lifted one of her hands to his lips and kissed it. “I know events like this make you nervous. Just pretend it’s work.”

“I can hardly talk about computers whenever someone asks me about our wedding.”

Carter tugged at Felicity’s hand until she loosened her arms around his chest and stepped around him. Carter wrapped his arms around her waist loosely, holding her to his front. His body was warm, making Felicity feel a little warmer instantly, just like the smile that was on his lips when he tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear made her feel warmer too.

“Whenever you are asked about our wedding,” Carter said with soft voice, “you tell them that we don’t want to rush anything because you have an exciting new job to look forward to. That’s the perfect opportunity to turn the conversation and make it about work.”

Felicity couldn’t contain a smile at how sweet Carter was. She was sure that a lot of men wouldn’t be happy if their fiancée had trouble making an evening, their engagement party in particular, about their love. Carter wasn’t like that though. He just wanted her to feel okay despite being out of her comfort zone.

At the same time, Felicity wondered if he really felt as okay about that as he was trying to make her believe. She’d understand if he actually did have trouble with her inability to feel comfortable about this engagement party.

“Can I ask you something?”

Carter perked up his eyebrows in surprise. “Yes, of course. What’s going on?”

Felicity pursed her lips briefly, unsure how to address her thoughts. Carter made it easy for her though. He stroked his fingertips over her cheek gently, casting her an encouraging smile.

“Are you really okay with waiting?” she asked him with low voice. “Oliver and McKenna are doing thing so quickly, so I was wondering if that was what you’d actually want too, you know? I don’t want you to feel like I am buying time or anything. I just… want to take things slow if that makes sense.”

Carter smiled, taking all her doubt about his honesty away. As much as she was sure that Carter knew how to smile even when he wasn’t feeling like it at all, she knew his smile right now was honest. He meant it.

“I think I ambushed you enough as it is,” Carter said and rested his forehead against hers, “didn’t I?”

Felicity smiled, thinking back to his proposal. She had anticipated a lot of things to happen that night, but she really hadn’t thought that he would propose to her. He had kind of ambushed her with it.

“I just don’t want you to know that I really want this. I want to get married to you.”

“I know,” Carter assured her, his warm hand rubbing up and down her back. “Don’t worry about that.”

Carter angled his head down slightly and brushed his lips against Felicity’s. She straightened up onto the tip of her toes to press herself more against him and deepen the kiss. A sigh fell from her lips, and she could feel Carter tightening his arms around her in response.

When their lips parted, Felicity sank back down onto her heels and smiled even more. She moved her hands from the back of Carter’s elbows up his arms to his shoulders and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck loosely.

“Thank you for understanding,” she said, almost whispering the words. “It means the world to me.”

“Don’t worry.” Carter winked. “I think we actually feel the same way about when it comes to this.“

“You want to wait too?”

“I think I do.” Carter nodded slowly. “We are in no hurry. Are we?”

Felicity smiled. “No, we aren’t.”

They had their entire life still ahead of them. Knowing that they wanted to spend their lives together was an important step. Getting married instantly wasn’t necessary to make their plan happen. As long as they were together, they were already spending their lives together and living up to the promise they had given to each other when Felicity had accepted his proposal.

There was no hurry to make it official and put a ring on it when they both knew what they wanted.

“Besides, I have the slight hope that, if we are waiting a little with getting married,” Carter added after a moment, “maybe your mother will actually like me rather than throwing daggers at me with her eyes when she leads you down the aisle.”

Felicity felt torn between chuckling and frowning for her moment. Whoever saw her mother would think that she was incapable of looking daggers at anyone. They didn’t know how wrong that impression was. Beneath the Barbie-like appearance, her mother was a headstrong and fierce woman.

“My mother does like you.” Felicity smiled with a glimpse of amusement shining through. “She just doesn’t know it yet.”

Carter chuckled. “Apparently, she doesn’t. Otherwise, she’d be very good at hiding it.”

Felicity smiled, grateful that Carter wasn’t making a big deal out of it. He wasn’t making a big deal out of anything. He made it so wonderfully easy to be with him that Felicity was surprised he had been single for so long.

“My mom always thinks that she has to protect me,” Felicity explained to him, releasing a low sigh. “She basically raised me all on her own. I mean she had Moira’s and Robert’s support, but she was the one ultimately responsible for me. After my dad left us, she just didn’t want my heart to be broken ever again.”

Donna had been burnt by falling for a handsome and talented man. Felicity wasn’t surprised that her alarm bells had started ringing the moment Felicity had introduced her to Carter. He probably reminded her a lot of Noah Kuttler. Felicity knew that Carter and her dad couldn’t be any more different than they were.

“I know that being left by your dad was hard. If you want to talk about it-“

“I don’t actually,” Felicity said maybe a little too quickly. “Sorry.”

Carter nodded his head and tightened his arms around her waist yet again. He was completely focused on her when he said, “You have no reason to be sorry. I just want you to know that I am here whenever you feel like you want to talk about it or if you just need someone to hold you. I can guarantee you that I have no intention on breaking your heart, and I will prove that to your mother too.”

“I know you will.”

Felicity pushed herself up onto the tip of her toes and brushed her lips against Carter’s once more. He opened his lips and so did Felicity. His tongue slipped into her mouth, stroking against hers. Felicity sighed contently and tightened her arms around his neck to get even closer to him.

As their lips parted, Felicity released another long sigh and scrunched up her nose.

“I really don’t want to go to that party.” Groaning, Felicity let her head fall forward against Carter’s chest. “I am almost sure my mother organized glitter bombs and pink feathers and God knows what else.”

Carter chuckled. “Really? I am pretty sure Mrs. Queen has stopped her from doing so.”

Felicity released a hum, partly agreeing with Carter. If someone was able to keep her mother’s style in check, it was probably Moira. She preferred a much more conservative style.

“Still,” Felicity said eventually, angling her head back to look at Carter again. “I’d rather stay here and… I don’t know.”

Carter puckered his lips and pushed his tongue into his cheek. His eyes drifted down from Felicity’s eyes over her chin and breasts to where their bodies were pressed together. Slowly, he started stepping forward, prompting Felicity to take some steps back until her back was pressed against the frame of the door.

Felicity perked up her eyebrows and smiled when she saw the glimpse of desire in Carter’s eyes.

“You don’t know?” he asked and lowered his lips to kiss the edge of her jar. “I know what we could or should do.”

Carter pressed his body a little bit more against hers. With the way his hips rubbed against hers, there was no doubt about how he would like to spend the night. The wiggle of his eyebrows only made it even clearer.

Felicity chuckled. “I think our mothers will kill us if we don’t get there in time.”

Donna had called Felicity at least ten times today to make sure she really was going to show up on time. Felicity had no idea why her mother had felt the need to remind her of that. Unlike Oliver, who had probably never been on time for anything in his entire life, Felicity usually made sure that she wasn’t let anyone wait too long.

As much as Felicity would like to stay home, she was sure that her mother would never forgive her if she did. She had put a lot of thought and energy into planning this evening after all. Even if she was suspicious of Carter, she was happy that her only daughter still believed in love enough to give it a try it seemed.

Carter chuckled. “You are probably right.”

With a kiss to her cheek, he stepped away from Felicity and went over to the chair in the corner of the bedroom. He grabbed the jacket of his suit from the back of the chair in the corner of the room and slipped into it.

“Besides,” he said, when he turned back around to her, “I am sure Oliver would probably kill me too.”

Felicity frowned slightly. “Why?”

Chuckling, Carter sat down on the chair and slipped into his shoes. While he was tying the laces, he looked at Felicity with perked up eyebrows.

“You really want to tell me that you haven’t noticed yet how protective he is of you?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She wasn’t sure if Carter knew that never mind why Oliver was and probably would never be a fan of him. His dislike for her fiancé was probably the very reason why Oliver always seemed to keep an eye on them because he hadn’t been like when she had been with Cooper. At least Felicity couldn’t remember it.

Carter was looking at her thoroughly it seemed, waiting for her to answer. Felicity shrugged her shoulders.

“We are just very close, you know?” Felicity asked. “We didn’t exactly grow up as siblings, but we were almost like raised to become best friends. We spent almost our entire childhood and youth together. We are just very important to each other.”

Carter looked at her for a moment longer, his eyes almost narrowed a little on her. He didn’t really look like he didn’t believe her, but something about her answer seemed to keep his thoughts occupied.

Soon, Carter was smiling at her though. He got up from the chair and strolled over towards Felicity slowly. He put his hands to her hips and pulled her close until their bodies were pressed together once more. The soft smile on her lips made Felicity smile immediately too.

“If he’s important to him, then I will put him on my list of people I will do my best to become friends with too,” Carter told her. “Everyone who is important to you, is important to me.”

Felicity’s smile grew even wider. She felt her heart warming at his words. She knew for the rest of her life, Carter would always do everything he could to make sure she’d be happy.

Leaning against Carter’s chest, she wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled Carter’s nose. When Carter tried to kiss her, Felicity moved away from him teasingly. He tried it again, and Felicity avoided his lips playfully once more. Carter chuckled, perking up his eyebrows.

Cocking her head slightly, Felicity grinned. She let her hands stroke over Carter’s broad shoulders before she moved them down the front of his chest. Her fingers played with the topmost bottom of his shirt.

“Maybe,” she said slowly, “it wouldn’t be so bad to be a little late to our engagement party after all.”

“Oh, really?” Carter asked. A wide grin spread on his face. “And what else do you have in mind?”

Without looking away from him, Felicity started unbuttoning his shirt. Carter nodded his head slightly, obviously appreciating what she was doing. He stayed silent until Felicity had reached the last button of his shirt.

“I like this plan,” he said eventually while Felicity was tugging the hem of his shirt out from the waistband of his pants. “I like it very much.”

“Yeah?”

Chuckling, Carter turned Felicity, so her back was directed towards the bed. With one firm movement, he pushed her onto the bed and climbed onto the mattress after her.

“Yeah, very, very much really actually.”

A moment later, his lips were on hers, claiming them. His hands roamed over her body, stroking over her soft curves and pulling at her clothes. His body moved against hers, trying to feel every inch of her.

For a split second, Felicity remembered that maybe this wasn’t the best idea given that her hair and make-up had been done by a professional and they were certainly going to destroy it. The thought of her mother’s reaction to their undeterrable delay crossed her mind too. Felicity pushed every thought away and focused solely on this – Carter and her.

 

* * *

 

“But you have to have some plans in mind.”

Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them slightly into her mouth. She had lost count of how many people had looked at her with this incredulous expression in their eyes whenever she had said that she hadn’t even spent one thought on the wedding planning yet.

“Nothing that’s ready to be talked about,” Felicity replied evasively and quickly took some sips of her champagne. “If you excuse me now, I still have a lot of guests to say hi to.”

“Yes, of course. We will surely get the chance to talk a little bit more later, Felicity.”

With a polite smile and the thought that she would avoid Janice’s friends as much as possible for the rest of the evening, Felicity turned around and walked away from them.

The setting of the party was a lot nicer than Felicity had feared it would be. It seemed like Carter had been right, and Moira had actually kept her mother in check. Warm lights as well as pink and white roses were giving the room a wonderful atmosphere. She actually liked it.

Strolling through the spacious salon of the Queen Mansion, Felicity looked around the many people her mother and Moira had invited. Most of them seemed to be people of Starling City’s upper class and with that, friends of Moira and Robert. Some of the faces were remotely familiar from the nights she and Oliver had sat in the staircase and watched the party that had been happening here in the salon.

The memory made Felicity smile, and she instinctively looked through the open doors into the foyer. She could almost see herself and Oliver as kids, crouching on the staircase in the half-dark. They had made up stories about the people they had seen downstairs here, vowing to each other that they would never become like that.

That hadn’t worked out so well for them it seemed Felicity thought with a shake of her head. She looked around once more, trying to find Oliver, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe his parents’ friends had already killed him with boredom.

Felicity’s eyes landed on Robert though. He was standing close to the fireplace with two couples, a glass of champagne in his hands. His eyes locked on hers, and he rolled his eyes slightly. Felicity grinned. She knew how little Robert liked these occasions either. He had actually joined her and Oliver on the staircase more than once in their childhood.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity took a brief look around to make sure nobody was watching her. Maybe she could sneak out without anyone seeing her and enjoy a moment of quiet. Indeed, it seemed like nobody was paying attention to her right now, so Felicity turned around quickly. And ran right into her mother.

“Mom.”

“There you are,” Donna said and hooked her arm under Felicity’s, leading her away from the doors. “How do you like your party?”

“It’s wonderful,” Felicity replied. “Even though it might not be exactly my kind of party.”

It would have been even less her kind of party if Donna had been allowed to live out her dreams of pink. Thanks Moira, all the pink in the room was focused in the color of Donna’s dress.

“Oh, I know.” Donna chuckled. “It’s not exactly Oliver’s kind of party either, but you two have to leave Moira and me at least some joy now that you have once and for all destroyed out hope that you two will ever get married.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t contain a chuckle. She had already wondered when her mother was going to bring this up. Felicity doubted that she would get over this any time soon.

“You do know that Carter thinks you have something against him, right?” Felicity asked her mother, perking up her eyebrows.

“I don’t have anything against Carter.”

“Anything other than the fact that he’s not Oliver you mean.”

Donna smiled to herself, casting Felicity a brief look, but she didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. Felicity could see right through her mother’s smile. The fact that he wasn’t Oliver really was the only fault she had found in Carter so far.

“I do like Carter,” Donna admitted eventually. “And I will get over my destroyed dreams of your and Oliver being together.”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow. “You will?”

Donna’s smile widened to a grin. Felicity was almost sure that her mother would only wait for the day she and Oliver both got divorced, so her and Moira’s dream could be revived again.

She would never give up.

“Now, do you have a minute for me to introduce you to-“

“Donna,” Robert said softly as he stepped towards the two of them. “Can I borrow you for a second? My good friend Frank Chen just told me something about a Jewish tradition that I can’t quite believe, so I thought I’d ask an expert.”

“Oh, of course.” Donna turned to Felicity and squeezed her hand. “I will introduce you later.”

With a hand on the small of her back, Robert led Donna away from Felicity. Turning his head back over his shoulder, he winked at Felicity though. She smiled in response, mouthing a soundless, “Thank you.”

Of course Robert had her back. He had always had her back.

Using the opportunity before anyone else could approach her and keep her back, Felicity quickly walked back towards the terrace doors. With one hand already wrapped around the handle, she made sure nobody was watching her, and she stepped outside quickly.

Closing the door behind her, she took a step aside. She leaned back against the cold wall where nobody could see her. With closed eyes, she released a long breath of relief.

Finally, some quiet.

“Well, well, escaping your own engagement party, Ms. Smoak?”

Felicity blinked through one eye. She grinned when she saw Oliver. It was already dark outside, but the light that came from inside the mansion was shining right onto his face. He was leaning back against the balustrade, an empty glass of champagne in his hand. There was an amused grin on his face as he watched Felicity.

“You should be hiding,” Felicity told him as a grin spread on her lips too, “because if we get caught out here because of you, I swear to God that I will kill you.”

Oliver chuckled and turned his eyes towards the glassy terrace doors for a moment. Puckering his lips, he shook his head then.

“Don’t worry about it.” Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Nobody is paying attention to what is happening outside.”

Trusting his words, Felicity shot a look inside too and figured that Oliver was right. Everyone was busy talking and laughing and having fun. Nobody was paying attention to what was happening outside. There was no reason to hide. At least not yet.

“Come here now,” Oliver said, beckoning her to come to him with a nod of his head. “If it makes you feel better, we can even step over into the shadows.”

Felicity only hesitated a moment before she hurried over to where Oliver was standing. Without stopping, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the shadows though. Now that she had finally escaped the party, she wouldn’t risk being called back in anytime soon.

“How long have you already been here?” Felicity asked when they were safe in the shadows. “And how dare you escape that party without me?”

“I wanted to take you with me, but you were so busy chatting with you mother-in-law’s friends that I didn’t dare interrupting you.”

The wide grin on Oliver’s face made her hum sarcastically. She let go of his hand and punched his shoulder playfully. It only made Oliver chuckle though, so she rolled her eyes.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

Felicity grumbled. “Maybe I don’t.”

Oliver’s grin widened even more, making Felicity roll her eyes yet again. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she rubbed her hands up and down her forearms in a weak try to make herself feel a little warmer. For the end of September, it was incredibly cold tonight.

With one last glance towards Oliver, she turned away from him and looked into the sky. There was no a single cloud there today, allowing her to look into the dark sky with its thousands of stars. It was beautiful, the most beautiful night she had seen in a long time. Maybe it was even the only night she had really consciously seen in a long time.

When a soft fabric was put over her shoulders, Felicity turned her head around to see that Oliver had slipped out of the jacket of his suits, revealing his suspenders, and put it over her shoulders. Stepping so close behind her that his chest pressed to her back, he wrapped his arms around her caged her in the warmth of his body. Felicity leaned back against him with a sigh.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “I wouldn’t want you to freeze to death.”

Resting her head back against Oliver’s shoulder, Felicity closed her eyes for a moment. She could just fall asleep like this. If the long sigh that Oliver released when he rested his chin on top of Felicity’s head was any indication, he felt the same way.

“How are the chances that we can spend the rest of the night here like this instead going back inside?” Felicity asked with a sigh. “Because I really have no interest in going back in there.”

“I fear that, once our mothers notice that we are here, they will call us back in there,” Oliver said and his tiredness was now shining through. “Chances are bad.”

Felicity groaned. Thinking about going back in there and getting those judging looks because she hadn’t made any plans for her wedding yet and wasn’t even considering making any plans anytime soon made her want to run away right now.

“You know what I could really use right now?”

“The ability to make yourself invisible?”

Felicity chuckled. “Yes, that too, but a Big Belly Burger would do it too for now.”

As if her stomach had just waited for the right time, it growled loudly. She had wanted to eat a sandwich before coming here, but her spontaneous quickie with Carter had gotten in the way of it. She hadn’t wanted to make their guests wait any longer, so she had come here with an empty stomach. With the canapés that were offered here, Felicity hadn’t been able to still her hunger yet.

When Oliver suddenly lifted his head from the top of hers and pulled away slightly, Felicity turned around to him. She frowned, watching the expression on his face.

“What?”

“Well, let’s do that,” he said. “Let’s go to Big Belly’s and grab some burgers.”

Felicity stared at him with the same disbelief she had been at the receiving end of most of the night so far. As tempting as it was to just say yes and run away with him into the night, or their most favorite restaurant actually, something held her back. Unlike Oliver, she couldn’t just ignore all rules of good behavior.

“This is our party,” she told him. “We can’t leave.”

“Wrong.” Oliver turned her around at her shoulders, so they were facing each other. “This is our party, so we can do whatever the hell we want.”

Felicity felt the corner of her lips twitching slightly. Sometimes, it felt like Oliver was the little devil on her shoulder, whispering forbidden ideas into her ear.

“It wouldn’t be fair to McKenna and Carter though.”

Oliver cocked his head at her slightly. When Felicity, despite how much she wanted to give in, continued to hold his gaze though, he looked into the living room. Felicity followed his gaze to see Carter and McKenna at different sides of the room, both talking to some people. They looked happy and not the least bit stressed, almost like they actually enjoyed the party.

“Honestly, Felicity, they are supposed to become our better halves soon,” Oliver said. “Let’s let the worse halves leave.”

Felicity chuckled. “Aren’t we supposed to be their better halves too?”

“Pssst.” Oliver put his hand onto her lips, hushing her. “Don’t apply logic to my justification, or we have to actually stay here after all.”

Felicity grinned at his words, but the grin faded quickly when she turned her gaze towards the living room once more. She looked at Carter. Though he seemed to have no trouble talking to the people there, Felicity felt bad at the thought of leaving him behind here. He was nothing but sweet to her. He always had her back and never pushed her out of her comfort zone. She should be able to do this for him.

On the other hand, Carter would probably understand that she had to catch her breath.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, obviously taking aback by her answer. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Felicity nodded and quickly grabbed Oliver’s hand. “Let’s go before we get caught.”

They hurried down the stones that led into the garden. Hidden in the shadows of the night, they walked towards the high iron fence that enclosed the entire property. Holding onto the grids of the fence, Felicity lifted her foot and Oliver pushed his hands beneath it, helping her up until she could make it over the fence. He easily climbed over it himself then and jumped down, landing right next to her on the sidewalk behind the garden.

Hand in hand, they hurried to the next busier street where they caught a cab that took them right towards Big Belly’s.

Barely fifteen minutes after they had made their plans, they were already sitting in one of the booths over French Fries and burgers. They were probably a little bit overdressed, but neither of them cared. There was no way anyone could feel uncomfortable at Big Belly’s.

Biting into her Chili Cheese Burger, Felicity squinted and released a long hum. If Big Belly Burgers weren’t the best food that had ever been invented, Felicity didn’t know either.

“If there is one thing I missed while you were living your life everyone in the world but here with me,” Oliver said, a little bit of a reproach sounding through his voice, “it was eating Big Belly Burgers with you.”

Felicity chuckled and wiped her paper napkin over her lips as she was sure that there was chili sauce all over them.

“You just have to stop surrounding yourself with women that think salad is the only food that exists for girls.”

Oliver grinned. “Still, no other person, woman or man, that I have met has the ability to devour a burger the way you do.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders and lifted her burger to her lips once more. “Those are freaks.”

She took an extra-large bite of her burger and hummed particularly loudly, just for Oliver. He seemed to know that she was doing it just for him because he chuckled and shook his head.

Felicity couldn’t count how many times she and Oliver had been at Big Belly’s in their youth. Once Oliver had gotten his license, he had picked her up at home at least every other Saturday night and they had snuck here. Before Oliver had had a license, he had just picked her up with his bicycle which, admittedly, had had just as much fun to it. Maybe even more.

The corners of Felicity’s lips twitched as she thought about that one night, she had slept so deeply that she hadn’t woken up from any of the twenty messages Oliver had sent her. It had been raining terribly, but Oliver had climbed the trellis to her window and knocked at the windowpane until she had woken up and opened it to him. When he had tried to climb into her room, he had slipped though and had almost fallen into her room. Felicity had tried to catch him, but he had just taking her down onto the floor with her. He had landed on top of her, and they had both started laughing. The noises had eventually brought her mother into the scene.

Thinking about it now, Felicity was still surprised that her mother hadn’t pulled out a camera and taken photos of them. Unlike most mothers, she hadn’t told Oliver to get out of the house and never sneak into it in the dark of the night again. Instead, she had told them to do whatever they wanted and added, already halfway out of the room, that there were condoms in the bathroom.

Felicity couldn’t contain a chuckle. When she lifted her gaze towards Oliver, intending to remind him of that night, she noticed that his gaze was on her already though. He was staring at her finger, or her engagement ring to be more exact.

As soon as he noticed her staring, he lifted his gaze to her eyes though. There was not the least bit of embarrassment or shame in her face for being caught staring at her. There was nothing they had to be ashamed of in front of each other. They knew each other too long for embarrassment to still have a place between them.

“Is it weird for you?” Oliver asked. “The thought of getting married?”

“Is it weird for you?” Felicity asked back immediately.

Oliver shook his head slightly. “I asked first.”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath, thinking her answer through. Oliver was too important to her to just give him a standard answer. She wanted to be honest with him since he was the only person, she had always been honest with.

“I never thought I’d get married,” she replied honestly and lowered her gaze to her engagement ring too. It still felt weird wearing it, like a foreign object you wanted to get rid of until you remembered what it was. “After the way my father left my mom and me, it just feels weird to link myself to a man like that. It’s scary.”

The thought that she would be left alone the way her mother had been left alone scared her. Felicity knew she’d do anything possible to keep her independency even once they had gotten married. She’d keep working hard to stay employable and to always be able to afford a place to live for herself as well as the kids she might one day have.

“If it calms you down a little,” Oliver said and cleared his voice as he seemed to have real trouble saying this, “Carter seems really into you. I mean that guy can barely keep his hands to himself when it comes to you. He always has to have one hand on your hip or your shoulder or the small of your back. What is that?”

Felicity chuckled to herself, shaking her head. She’d probably say it was love if it didn’t sound so terribly corny.

“But for the record,” Oliver added after a moment, “if he breaks your heart, I will break his neck. And I will enjoy it.”

Felicity smiled. There was no denying that Oliver was protective of her. They had met at a time when Felicity had been the most vulnerable. He had seen and helped her to come back to herself again. She wasn’t the least bit surprised that he was holding a protecting hand over her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “but I don’t think that will be necessary. Carter doesn’t seem to be the least bit interested in breaking my heart. I am actually pretty sure that he told me that earlier tonight.”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “Of course he did.”

Felicity barely contained a chuckle. She had known already that Oliver’s dislike of Carter was part of the reason why he was so protective of her now. She didn’t doubt that there was a tiny part of him that wanted Carter to hurt her, just so he would be right. He would never admit it and he probably felt really bad about it as it was, but Felicity really believed this.

“Carter is a really good guy,” Felicity assured him, “even if you don’t want to see that.”

Oliver pushed some French Fries into his mouth before he released a sigh. He folded his forearms on the edge of the tabletop and leaned forward, looking at Felicity intently.

“Give me some time,” he asked with gentle voice. “I will learn to live with him.”

Felicity chuckled, reaching out her hand and putting it over Oliver’s. “Don’t worry. I will get married to him. You don’t have to do that.”

Snorting lowly, Oliver shook his head. With a sigh, he turned his hand and laced his fingers through hers then. He watched their entwined fingers for a moment before he lifted his gaze towards Felicity again.

“I don’t have to get married to Carter. Luckily.” Oliver grinned, making Felicity chuckle. “But I want you in my life. If that meant that I have to endure Carter, I will take it.”

Felicity smiled. She wanted Oliver in her life too. Even if he hadn’t chosen to get married to McKenna, who was certainly the nicest of all the girlfriends he had had, Felicity knew that she would have endured whatever woman he could have probably chosen too. Oliver was her best friend. He was the most important person in her life. She couldn’t lose him, no matter what or who she had to endure with him.

“I know I couldn’t have a better best friend,” Felicity said with a smile. “And I know you are doing the best you can to accept Carter.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

Felicity smiled. “And I’d do anything for you.”

No other words were needed as everything that was important had been said already. Everything else that was important was showing in the expression in their eyes. They knew each other long enough to know what they were saying with their eyes.

Felicity might still be scared about getting married, but she knew that, as long as she had Oliver, she would always have a shoulder to lean on. She was safe as long as she had him.

 

* * *

 

“If anyone should ask,” Oliver whispered into her ear, “we have just been upstairs for a moment because you needed to freshen up yourself and I showed you where to do it.”

Felicity frowned, looking back at him over her shoulder. “I have basically been grown up here. Why would you need to show me a bathroom?”

Oliver pinched her side, making Felicity slap his hand away.

“Stop trying to make sense out of this,” Oliver whispered. “Nobody will ask if we tell them that. If they do, you just invent some other lie.”

Felicity groaned. “But I'm so bad at lying.”

When Felicity leaned forwards once more, looking into the living room, Oliver leaned over her from behind her. He didn’t seem to find anything or anyone that hinted that someone might have noticed that they had been missing for the past two hours. Putting his hand to her back, he pushed her forward into the room and followed right after her.

Felicity held her breath. She almost waited for everyone to suddenly fall quiet and turn around to them. In those corny movies she liked to watch at least once in a while, that was surely what would happen.

It really looked like nobody had missed them.

That impression lasted exactly three seconds. As soon as Robert stepped towards them with slightly perked up eyebrows and puckered lips, Felicity knew that she had been terribly wrong.

“Your mothers were looking for you,” he said with quiet voice. “They almost thought you had eloped together.”

“I guess they have been delighted?”

Felicity groaned, unsure if it was because they had been gotten caught sneaking away after all or because their mothers had used that to revive their old hopes once more. Like there was even a remote chance that she and Oliver would ever be together!

“If you think that your mother's won’t kill you when you two, for whatever reason, decide to get married after all and don’t invite them to the wedding, you are crazy.”

Shaking her head with a sigh, Felicity lowered her gaze to her feet. Their mothers would never give up, no matter how much they were vowing to be better. They might have stopped to be so obvious about it, but they still kept the idea of Oliver and Felicity getting together one day deep in their hearts.

When Felicity lifted her gaze, she saw that Robert was looking back and forth between her and Oliver. His eyes lingered a little longer on Oliver, who was looking back at his father with an unreadable expression. Felicity frowned slightly. Before she got a chance at finding out what silent conversation they were having there, Robert noticed her interest though.

“So,” he asked, clearing his throat, “where have you two been?”

“Grabbing some burgers and milkshakes. We just needed a little break from all of this.,” Felicity replied though it almost sounded like a question. She shrugged her shoulders. “We are sorry-“

“Maybe you are.”

“-that we left here,” Felicity said, nudging Oliver’s ribs with her elbow. “We know it was planned differently and-“

When Robert lifted his hands with a shake of his head, Felicity stopped. She pulled her bottom lip between her front teeth and looked at him.

“You don’t have to justify yourself.” Robert’s eyes found something behind them. “At least not to me.”

Oliver and Felicity turned their heads back over their shoulders to look at what Robert had seen behind them. When Felicity saw McKenna approaching them, a slightly angry expression in her eyes, she shot Robert another brief glance. He flashed her a smile and left them alone.

“Where have you been?” McKenna hissed with low voice, trying to hide her anger behind a smile. “You’ve been away for more than two hours.”

Oliver pursed his lips and reached out his hands for McKenna’s shoulders, but she took a small step back. Her eyes were sparkling with anger now, leaving no doubt that she was really pissed that she had been left alone at their engagement party.

“I am sorry,” Oliver said soothingly. “Events like these just aren’t for me and-“

“I understand that, Ollie,” McKenna replied firmly though her voice was still lowered to a whisper. “I really understand that, but this is our engagement party. I could have needed you here because your mother introduced me to a bunch of her friends, and I feel like I would maybe recognize two of them now. I would have really appreciated if you would have been here.”

“I know, and I am sorry. I-“

“Your apologies do not help me right now.”

Oliver made a new attempt at reaching out for McKenna, but she avoided his touch. With a sigh of annoyance, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Oliver took in a deep breath and his chest tensed slightly, the usual reaction when he wasn’t feeling quite comfortable.

Felicity realized that she probably shouldn’t be here right now. This was something that was just between Oliver and McKenna. She had her own conversation like this to go through she guessed.

“I will“ – Felicity cleared her throat and pointed her thumb back over her shoulder, already taking the first steps backwards, while Oliver and McKenna stared at her – “go to find Carter. Or something.”

She quickly turned around on her heels and tried to get as far away from them as possible. Since the party for Oliver’s seventeenth birthday, when he had broken up with whatever cheerleader he had dated at that time right in front of her, she had sworn never to get anywhere near a relationship talk of Oliver and his girlfriend. She had barely ever felt more uncomfortable than she had felt during that time.

When she was at the other side of the room, Felicity shot a look back over her shoulder. McKenna and Oliver were still standing where she had left them. They still looked tense.

With a long sigh, Felicity turned her back towards them once more. She guessed it was time for her to face this kind of conversation too. She’d need a glass of champagne first though.

“Looking for some drink to spend you some courage?”

Felicity looked at the glass of champagne in front of her for a moment before she lifted her gaze to Carter, who was holding it out for her.

“Hi,” she said, sounding almost a little bit breathless.

“Hi.” Carter grinned and moved the glass back and forth in front of her eyes. “Champagne?”

Felicity nodded her head. Without taking her eyes off Carter, she took the glass from his hands. Carter raised his glass to her. They clinked their glasses and took some sips. Their eyes stayed on each other.

They lowered their glasses, but their eyes still stayed locked. They both still stayed quiet. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. It made Carter perk up his eyebrows.

“I am sorry, okay?” Felicity said with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have left. I just needed a break, and I-“

Carter reached out his hand and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. Felicity fell silent, just looking at Carter.

“I was betting with myself whether or not you would make it through this party without hiding or running away.”

Felicity puckered her lips, cocking her head. “Did you win?”

“I did indeed.”

Carter wrapped an arm around Felicity’s waist and pulled her against him. His lips brushed against hers in a gentle kiss. The smile she had almost tasted on his lips was still there when they pulled apart.

“I am really sorry,” Felicity repeated in a whisper. “I will make up for it somehow.”

“You don’t have to,” Carter replied, shaking his head. “I understand why you would need a break from this.”

“Even though it’s our engagement party?”

“Even though it’s our engagement party,” Carter replied without any hesitation. “You needed the break.”

Felicity smiled, unable to contain it. Her heart warmed, just seeing the loving way Carter looked at her and knowing how much he just wanted her to be happy and give her what she really needed.

“You are perfect, you know that?”

Carter smiled and brushed his fingertips against her chin. “Kind of, yes.”

He leaned into kiss her once more, but before their lips touched, someone snuck the glass of champagne from her hands and released a deep sigh.

“Okay, McKenna really is pissed at me now.”

At Oliver’s voice, Felicity quickly pulled back. She shot him a brief glance, watching him downing the champagne he had just stolen from her in one go. She quickly looked back at Carter apologetically though and though he smiled there was a low sigh falling from his lips.

“Sorry.”

Oliver shook his head. “I convinced you to leave with me, so I am the one who should be sorry. I hope you two are not in trouble?”

“Nope,” Felicity replied, looking back at Carter once more. “We aren’t.”

“Good.” Oliver nodded his head. “I guess you might be the greater couple then.”

“Oh, we surely are.” Felicity grinned at Oliver. “What else did you expect?”

Oliver released a sound that was a mixture of a hum and a groan. He rolled his eyes slightly, but he was grinning back at her nonetheless.

There were no words needed for the both of them to know that they didn’t regret their little trip today. It might have not been the right thing to do given they had missed their own engagement party and it might have gotten Oliver into some trouble with McKenna, but they still knew it had been the right thing to do. They wouldn’t have stood through this if it hadn’t been for the little break they had taken.

When loud laughter attracted their attention, Felicity and Oliver broke their intense eye contact. Felicity looked to where her mother was standing with some other women, laughing and having fun, only briefly. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Carter’s face and it made her turn her gaze towards him.

There was a small crease between his eyebrows as he was looking back and forth between Oliver and her. The expression in his eyes was unreadable. Felicity doubted that she had ever seen it before.

As soon as Carter noticed her gaze on his face, he quickly put on a smile though. Stepping forward, he put a hand to her back and brushed his lips against her forehead.

“I will talk to some more of our guests.”

When Carter pulled away, Felicity laced her fingers through his. “I am coming with you.”

“You’re sure?”

“I had my break. Now I can continue fighting my way through this party.” Felicity smiled at him. “Besides, it will be much easier with you by my side.”

She smiled at Carter for a moment before she turned to Oliver. She didn’t have to voice her question for him to know what she wanted to ask him. With a soft smile, he nodded his head.

“Go and enjoy the party,” he said. “I will try to make up to McKenna in the meantime.”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you and good luck.”

While Oliver was walking past her, he winked at her, making her smile, before she leaned against Carter’s arm and looked at him.

“Ready for the fight?” he asked.

She probably wasn’t because there wasn’t a break that could possibly be long enough for her to save enough energy, but she nodded her head nonetheless.

“Absolutely.”


	6. Torschlusspanik

_= The fear of losing opportunities because of age, especially concerning women when they want children (German)_

 

Lifting his forearms in front of his face, Oliver absorbed the punches his friend threw at him. Though John’s hands were wrapped in thick boxing gloves that cushioned the punches, Oliver’s forearms burnt like fire. No matter how hard he tried to fasten his stand, he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back to get a little bit of distance between him and John.

“Are we going to talk about the wedding now?”

John’s question almost threw Oliver off. He lowered his arms for a moment, frowning at his friend. Not a lot had missed and John’s next punch would have landed right in Oliver’s face. By the last second, Oliver managed to lift his arms back in front of his face to shield it though.

While John’s fists were thrumming down on his forearms once more, Oliver wondered what exactly his friend wanted to talk about.

Oliver didn’t remember how long he and John had been friends now. It was probably since he had started working as the Head of Security for his parents’ property. In a lot of ways, John had been the best friend he had had in Starling before Felicity had returned here. The friendship that connected him with John was quite different from the one he had with Felicity though. They had this male bonding thing where they didn’t talk a lot and rather spent their time training their asses off in the gym.

When they talked, it was usually John giving him the kind of advice, any therapist would probably take several thousands of dollars from him. John’s advices were quite inexpensive in comparison to that and they were probably a lot more effective too.

John certainly had some good advices on marriage since he was happily married himself. Oliver doubted that John wanted to give him advice on marriage though. John never handed advice out just like that. He only advised Oliver to do something if Oliver was asking for an advice or if a problem had already occurred. He was his friend and not his therapist after all.

“If you want to talk about why I didn’t make you my best man, I have to tell you that you just don’t compete with Felicity. To be fair, nobody does. Besides, the only reason Thea accepted the fact that she didn’t get to be my best woman is because I told her that I know Felicity longer than I know her.”

Oliver grinned to himself, but his amusement didn’t distract him enough to miss John’s reaction. There was an expression in his friend’s eyes that told him there was something about it that bothered John or that made him prick his ears at least.

“If nobody compares to her, does that include McKenna?”

It took Oliver a moment before he remembered that he had said nobody could compete with Felicity. He often caught himself talking about Felicity without really realizing it. It just came natural to him because she was such an important part of his life and had been such an important part of his life for years already.

“You sound like my mother.” Oliver rolled his eyes. “Felicity and McKenna are playing in completely different leagues. I mean Felicity is my best friend and McKenna is my fiancée. That’s not comparable at all.”

John released the kind of sound that Oliver didn’t know how to interpret. It was a mixture of a hum and a sigh, maybe with a little bit of a chuckle underneath. Oliver had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

“So you are sure about your engagement with McKenna?”

“Of course I am,” Oliver replied without a beat of hesitation. “We’ve been together for a while now. It’s only normal to take the next step.”

“How romantic.”

“You know me.” Oliver chuckled. “I am not the most romantic person.”

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver decided it was time for a counterattack. Just when he wanted to throw a punch back at him, John spun around and landed the final punch right against Oliver’s shoulder though. With a groan of frustration, Oliver lifted his hands in defeat and took some steps back.

“You win.” Oliver sighed though it mixed with a chuckle. “Again.”

“And I will win the next lap again,” John simply said and Oliver could almost hear an unsaid _because your head’s not in the game_ being added to it.

“I know you will.” Oliver nodded his head and released a long breath. “But first I need a break.”

John nodded his head in agreement. “Fine.”

Turning to the benches where they had placed their towels and their bottles of water, Oliver opened the hook and loop fastener with his teeth. He pulled the boxing gloves from his hands, dropping them to the floor, and took some huge gulps of the cold water. He let some more of the water pouring down on his scalp and his face.

Training with John, no matter how exhausting it was, always managed to clear Oliver’s head. These last days had been exhausting because Felicity was just incredibly enthusiastic about their work at QC. At times, he had felt like his head was exploding. Felicity was processing data and basically every type of information just so much faster than he himself did which made professional conversations with her really hard. She was basically two to five steps ahead of him all the time.

“Now, why are you rushing your wedding with McKenna?”

Moving his fingers through his wet hair, Oliver frowned at his friend. “Why would you think I am rushing my wedding?”

“Three months ago, we had a conversation about marriage and you said that it was the last thing you wanted right now.” John crossed his arms in front of his chest and dipped his head forward slightly to take Oliver in thoroughly. “Suddenly you changed your mind and now you can’t get down the aisle quickly enough.”

Oliver held John’s gaze for a moment before he looked away. He hated when he looked at him like that. In some way, it always felt like John could look right through him or read in him like in a book.

Felicity had the same power he guessed, so maybe he was just easy to read.

“I am not rushing the wedding, John,” Oliver replied eventually, shrugging his shoulders. “It doesn’t feel rushed. I mean people are moving on and moving forward, so I guess I have to think about my own future too. I can’t stay in the past, and things between me and McKenna are good, so that feels like a good starting point for a future.”

He put his towel and water away back to the bench, taking a moment to stay turned away from John. He had no idea where this question had come from, but he decided not to let that get to him. Either John was going to tell him if there was a deeper meaning to his question or Oliver would just forget about it.

As soon as he turned back around and found John still looking at him with that intent expression in his eyes and his arms crossed in front of his chest tensely, Oliver released a long sigh though.

“Just spit it out, John.”

“Spit what out?”

“Whatever you want to ask but aren’t asking yet. Before you choke on it.”

John narrowed his eyes slightly, amusement showing in his eyes. Oliver had never met a man who was able to say so many things without saying anything. It just seemed written all over his face.

“When you say ‘people’ are moving on, do you have anyone particular in mind?” John asked and though he seemed like he wanted to sound casual, Oliver didn’t miss the meaningfulness in his voice. “Or is it just a weird coincidence that you changed your mind about getting ready after your dad told you that Felicity didn’t drop everything that she was working on the moment she got a position at QC offered.”

Oliver felt his stomach twisting slightly. He couldn’t deny that there wasn’t a germ of truth in this. He had made the decision to propose to McKenna that very same day his dad had told him that Felicity hadn’t taken the offer the moment it had been proposed to her.

Still, that hadn’t been the reason he had proposed. He had thought about it for a long time, but he knew that the one thing wasn’t the reason for the other. They had occurred at the same time, but they hadn’t determined another.

“Felicity’s decision just reminded me that I have to think about my future,” Oliver said and went past John to where he had dropped his boxing gloves. “At the end of the year, I will be at the head of the company. Professionally, I will have reached a lot, so it’s time to work in my private life.”

“If that’s what you are thinking.”

“It is what I am thinking,” Oliver said. “I wouldn’t get married if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that it’s the right decision.”

John nodded slowly and released the quietest of a sigh. “If you say so.”

From the tone of John’s voice, Oliver guessed that his friend actually had a lot more to say. He stayed quiet though, so Oliver did the same.

He knew that his timing for the proposal was weird, but the thought that Felicity wasn’t going to come back to Starling had just reminded him that he couldn’t live in the past any longer. He wasn’t a kid or a teenager anymore. His best friend was still important to him, but they both had their own lives now and that was what was right.

Felicity was getting married to Carter. He was getting married to McKenna. They would work together and still stay best friends, but it was different now that they were adults.

Oliver punched his cushioned knuckles together a couple of times before he turned back to John once more.

“Are you in for another lap now?” he asked. “I have to leave in half an hour.”

John nodded slowly, putting his bottle of water to the bench and strolling over to Oliver. He put his boxing gloves back on like Oliver had before.

“A lunch date with McKenna?”

“Kind of,” Oliver replied. “We meet with my mom, McKenna’s mom, Thea and Felicity to plan our wedding.”

John nodded slowly. “I guess it’s time. The wedding is only a month away.”

There was a slight provocation in his voice, but Oliver ignored it. He just punched his fists together once more.

“Are we going to train now or are we going to talk?”

John lifted his fists in front of himself. “You start in the offense.”

Oliver nodded. “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

As soon as the motorcycle came to a stop in front of the mansion, Oliver rushed towards the door. He took off his helmet quickly, put it to the small sideboard in the foyer and continued his way to the living room.

“Sorry,” he said when he stepped in, already lifting his hands in a peaceable gesture. “I am so sorry. I lost my sense for time during training and the traffic has been hell.”

Walking around the table, he got himself a quick overview of where they were with the planning process. Several points on his mother’s list were already checked, but he couldn’t read her small, squiggly handwriting. From the open sample books, he guessed that they were currently talking about decorations.

With a soundless groan, Oliver figured that he could have been another ten minutes late. He really had no freaking idea what decorations were supposed to look like for a wedding. He didn’t even know what decorations were supposed to look like at home. He was sure the penthouse would be completely free of any decorations if it wasn’t for McKenna.

“Hi,” he said softly and kissed McKenna’s cheek before he sat down on the chair next to her. “Sorry.”

McKenna smiled and nudged his side playfully. “Don’t worry about it. This way I could make all the decisions without you.”

Oliver chuckled. He took McKenna’s hand under the table top and squeezed it gently. He was more than grateful that she wasn’t angry with him. He really didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t interested in the wedding because of course he was interested in it. He just wasn’t good at being on time, but he guessed McKenna already knew that.

He doubted that he had ever been on time for any date. Even during their first date he had been almost ten minutes late. It was a miracle that she had still agreed to go out with him after that.

“Where is your mom?”

“She had to cancel,” McKenna replied. “She has a migraine.”

Oliver shot her a comforting smile, knowing how close McKenna and her mother were. He was sure she would have liked her mother to be here for the planning too.

“I am sorry.”

McKenna shrugged her shoulders before she leaned closer to him and whispered, “At least that means we only have one mother trying to dictate what our wedding is supposed to be like.”

Oliver released a quiet hum and leaned even closer to McKenna. “I guess we should have hoped that my mother would have suffered from a migraine then because she’s certainly the one who’s going to make all the calls now.”

McKenna looked at him with a soft expression in her eyes that told Oliver that she didn’t mind much. He was actually sure that McKenna and his mother shared a similar taste, so maybe the fact that she was trying to take control in the planning McKenna didn’t mind as much as other brides would be bothered by it.

With the way McKenna looked at him, her eyes so full of warmth, there was a part of Oliver that wanted to ask her if she thought their wedding was rushed like John had suggested. She had never said anything like that, but he did wonder if he felt the same way now. He didn’t get to ask the question though.

“As I was just saying,” Moira, who was sitting at the head of the table and looking at Oliver with strict eyes, said before McKenna could reply, “the time to plan the wedding really isn’t much. I am confident that we will get the planning done in time though.”

Oliver was sure that his mother had overheard what he had said to McKenna. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t mind though. She knew better than anyone else that she loved to call the shots. She loved to be in control because it was when she felt safest, and Oliver didn’t really mind. It was one day in his life. His mother could gladly make all the decisions about it.

He nodded his head and rubbed his hands together eagerly. “So, where are we at? I am ready to throw myself in here.”

McKenna smiled, happy about his enthusiasm it seemed. She pulled some of the sample books closer. They showed flowers, table sets and some light arrangements.

“Since we don’t have a lot of time, we decided it was best to let the wedding take place here,” she explained. “The mansion is a great location. We will have the ceremony outside in a white tent. I know it’s winter, so it’s going to be cold, but we will use patio heaters. After that, we will have the reception inside.”

Oliver nodded his head. He couldn’t exactly see this yet. He hadn’t been to a lot of weddings yet, so he didn’t have much experience with what weddings were supposed to be like yet. This sounded like a nice plan though.

“We picked some decorations,” McKenna added when Oliver didn’t say anything. “I decided that something simple but romantic was the right way for us.”

“Alright.” Again, Oliver nodded. “Have you decided on the food yet?”

McKenna chuckled. “I wanted to, but Felicity said that you would definitely want to have a say in that.”

“Oh, how right she is. And that’s why she’s my-“

Oliver stopped when he noticed that Felicity wasn’t focused at all. She had her head propped up onto her hand and stared out of the window. The expression in her eyes was empty though like she was staring without seeing anything. Her thoughts seemed to be somewhere far away from here.

“Felicity?”

Oliver cocked his head at her, but Felicity didn’t reply. She really seemed to be somewhere completely else. Frowning, he lifted his hand and waved it in front of Felicity’s eyes.

“Felicity?”

Saying her name in the slow way, syllable for syllable, like he usually did when he wanted to stop her from rambling. Felicity blinked several times until she looked at him, really looked at him. Her eyes were focused, the wordless question what was going on readable in them.

“What?” She fumbled with her ponytail briefly. “What were you saying?”

Oliver’s frown deepened slightly. Felicity was often preoccupied, but it was usually a hectic way of preoccupied. She had a thousand things in her head and tried to handle all of them at the same time. This felt different though.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” Felicity replied quickly and put on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all. “Yes, everything is fine. Of course it is.”

Her answer confirmed what Oliver had known already. She wasn’t alright. She was far from being alright actually.

Oliver wondered if Carter was finally giving him a reason to punch him in the face. If he had hurt Felicity, he would certainly do that. Nobody would hurt Thea or Felicity unpunished as long as he got any say in this. He knew that neither of them needed a protector, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling like he had to protect them.

“I’d say we continue with the dinner,” Moira said before Oliver could say more. “I already contacted some of the caterers we order food from for our charity events. They sent me some samples of three to five course menus.”

“Menus?” Oliver asked with a frown. “Don’t you think some canapés and a buffet are enough?”

“I would actually prefer a menu,” McKenna said, looking at him. “It’s just more comfortable for everyone than getting to the buffet.”

“At least everyone is replete when there is a buffet.”

Oliver had muttered the words, knowing the kind of caterers his mother usually hired and the tiny dishes they served. From the way McKenna was looking at him with pleading eyes, he knew that she had heard him though.

“Don’t worry. I am not going to let you starve,” she told him, rubbing her hand over his thigh. “If necessary, I will even leave all my food to you. I know you are obnoxious when you are hungry.”

“True, but as long as there is a Big Belly’s around, I could never starve anyway,” Oliver said. “Right, Felicity?”

Turning his head to look at her, Oliver saw Felicity flinching slightly at the mention of her name. Again, she looked like she had been somewhere completely else ten seconds ago. With eyes full of confusion, she looked at him.

“What?”

“I just said that-“ Oliver stopped himself, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing.”

Felicity smiled apologetically, and Oliver smiled back at her. As soon as she turned her eyes away from him though, he frowned and took her in thoroughly. She looked a little bit pale and there were slightly darkened rings under her eyes. He guessed she hadn’t slept much last night which only made him worry more.

Knowing that he had to address this at some other time when it was just him and Felicity, Oliver turned away from her and back to the conversation about the dinner for the wedding reception.

“So, do you agree to a menu, Oliver?” his mother asked.

Oliver nodded his head, glancing at Felicity with worry once more. “Yes, of course.”

Deciding what they could possibly order took a lot longer than it was supposed to. McKenna’s taste was quite different from his and neither of their tastes met what Thea or his mother envisioned. At the end, he just gave in to whatever McKenna, Thea and his mother wanted though.

His head just wasn’t in it. He was shooting nerves glances towards Felicity every now and then. She was staying out of the conversation as much as possible. Whenever someone asked her for her opinion, she just smiled tiredly and answered shallowly. She didn’t even sound like herself, especially given that she usually loved to talk about food.

Though she didn’t speak – or maybe because she didn’t speak – Oliver just knew that something was wrong with her. Felicity was hardly ever quiet. There was no way he could focus on any conversation as long as he didn’t know what was wrong with her. A thousand different scenarios flashed through his mind. Each one just made him more nervous.

At the end, they decided on a five-course menu with salad, a soup, three different entrees guests could choose from and a dessert.

“I will make sure that the menu cards will match the color scheme of the rest of the party,” Moira said and turned to Thea. “Do you want to help me with the layout?”

“How about I do the layout all on my own?” Thea asked. “You know I know my way around something like that way better than you do.”

“That’s true,” Moira agreed with a smile. “Felicity, would you-?”

“What?”

Oliver’s frown deepened as Felicity was pulled back from her thoughts again. Even Moira seemed to catch up on the weirdness of this now. She frowned slightly and cocked her head at her. Worry was visible in her deep blue eyes, the same worry that were there when Oliver or Thea weren’t feeling well.

“Felicity, Honey, are you alright?”

The question filled the room with heaviness. Nobody said a word while they were waiting for Felicity to reply. She was visibly nervous about the fact that everyone was staring at her. Her hands over the tabletop slowly, soothing the wrinkles from the tablecloth. Her eyes followed the movements.

Just when Oliver wanted to whisper her name again, Felicity grabbed her empty glass and lifted it.

“I need more water. I will head to the kitchen to get some.”

Before anyone could stop her or tell her that there was a full carafe of water on the table, Felicity had already gotten up and escaped the room.

“Is it just me or does Felicity seem a little off right now?” Thea asked. “I mean more off than she usually is?”

Oliver just nodded his head absentmindedly. Thea was right. He couldn’t agree more. The only time he had ever seen Felicity like that it had been when she had been sixteen years old and had thought that she had seen her father on the streets. That had led her to freak out and act just as weirdly as she had right now.

“You should follow her,” McKenna said quietly. “Maybe she needs help.”

Oliver shot McKenna a brief look. There was no doubt or hesitation in her eyes though, so he nodded quickly.

“Yeah.”

Kissing McKenna’s temple, Oliver got up and rushed out of the room. With held breath, he made his way downstairs into the kitchen.

He felt his anger increasing with every step he took. He didn’t even know what was going on yet, but something told him that it had something to do with Carter. Carter had done something to Felicity. He had hurt her or upset her or anything like that. Even without Felicity’s confirmation, he already knew it was true and he knew he would punch Carter in the face at the first opportunity given.

Oliver stopped in front of the kitchen door to squeeze his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his fists a couple of times until he felt some of the tension fading away from his muscles. He had to relax to talk to Felicity.

It took him at least two minutes before he felt ready to face her. Stepping into the frame of the door, his eyes found Felicity immediately. She was sitting at the kitchen island, her face hidden in her hands. She was taking deep breaths, but they sounded trembling.

“Hey.”

Felicity gasped for breath as her head snapped up. With her hand over her heart, she turned around to him. Her eyes were widened and full of shock. She really hadn’t heard him it seemed.

“Oliver,” she said, still sounding breathless. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you,” Oliver replied honestly and took some steps closer. “You seem a little… off.”

Hesitation was written all over her face as Felicity seemed to consider what to do. She avoided his eyes for a moment like she needed to focus just on herself to decide what to do now. When she looked back at him, she was smiling. It didn’t reach her eyes though.

“I am fine,” she ensured. “All this wedding planning just reminds me how much work is still ahead of me and I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want you to snap away my ideas of a perfect wedding and-“

“Felicity.”

Oliver’s voice was soft when he interrupted her. He had stepped right in front of her and was rubbing his hands over her shoulders in a soothing way. Her eyes were completely focused on him now, her lips slightly parted as she was panting quietly.

There was a long moment of quiet. Oliver wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind. Eventually, he figured that he just had to ask her though. He wouldn’t have a quiet moment until he had gotten an answer that he could really believe.

“Felicity, did Carter do anything to you?”

“What?” Felicity frowned. “No. God, no. Of course he didn’t.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, unsure if he should believe her. Maybe she was just covering for him or something. Felicity seemed to sense his doubt because she released a long breath. She pulled her hair tie from her ponytail and moved her fingers through her hair.

“I- I am just-“ Felicity took in a deep breath before she looked at him once more. “I am just so exhausted. Moving and learning the ropes and everything… it’s just been a lot lately and I feel like I am getting sick, so…”

She shrugged her shoulders and released another deep sigh. Her fingers moved through her hair once more before she tied it together into a messy bun. She pulled the sleeves of her shirt longer until her hands were disappeared inside completely. She crossed her arms in front of her chest then, but it almost looked like she was hugging herself.

Oliver looked at her closely, making Felicity avoid his eyes. Oliver when he put his hand to her shoulder, she lifted her gaze back to his.

“I think I need to go home and just lie down to rest a little.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yes. Of course. I will drive you and-“

“No!”

Now it was Oliver who almost flinched. Her answer had come so quickly and so vehemently that he was actually startled by it. He frowned slightly, but Felicity chuckled though it just sounded tired.

“No, really.” She cleared her throat. “I should go home alone and you should be planning your wedding or they will make a limited list of drinks during the reception. No alcohol.”

Oliver groaned. “I am not attending anything that doesn’t offer a good scotch.”

Felicity smiled tiredly. “See? You are needed here. I will get home safe.”

“Okay,” Oliver agreed though he didn’t feel exactly safe about it. “But you will text me when you are home, so I know that you got home safe. Right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Oliver nodded slowly before he wrapped his arms around Felicity and hugged her tightly. He rubbed his hands up and down her back to spend her a little bit of warmth. His lips brushed against the top of her head.

“I’d offer to get you anything you need, but I guess you are in good hands with Carter, right?”

At his question, Felicity pulled out of the hug and nodded her head with a still so tired smile.

“Yeah,” she whispered then, nodding her head once more. “He’s going to take good care of me.”

“Good,” Oliver replied though he didn’t want to imagine what that would possibly look like, “because I would kill him if he didn’t.”

Felicity didn’t reply to that. She almost looked like she was close to fainting, so Oliver felt even worse about letting her go alone. Felicity just brushed her hand against his forearm and went past him though.

“See you,” she whispered. “And have fun.”

“Thank you.” Oliver replied quietly, letting his gaze follow her to the door. “Take good care of yourself.”

“I will.” Felicity shot him one last look over her shoulder. “Bye, Oliver.”

“Bye, Felicity.”

With that, Felicity left. The bad feeling in his stomach stayed though. Something was wrong there. He just didn’t know what it was yet.

 

* * *

 

Tapping his fingers against the case with the chicken soup, Oliver watched the small numbers on the display over the doors. He had struggled with the question whether or not he should go to visit Felicity all day. He was still kind of struggling with it to be honest and he caught himself blinking at the button to take him back to the ground floor when the elevator stopped at the fifth.

When the doors opened in front of him, Oliver straightened his shoulders and stepped out. With a brief look around, he turned to his right and followed the hallway down to apartment 5E.

All day, he had had to think about Felicity. She had looked so terrible when she had left the mansion this afternoon that he had known that he just had to check on her. Of course he could have done so by calling her too, but he had the opportunity to visit her again now, so he would do so.

Before Felicity had moved to Boston for MIT, Oliver had always visited her when she had been sick. A lot of times, her mother had been busy with working in her shifts. She couldn’t have taken care of Felicity all the time. Felicity had known that, so she had always pretended that she wasn’t as sick as she was feeling around her mother. With him, she had been honest though.

Even back in that time, Oliver had always brought Felicity Raisa’s special chicken soup. Even when he had been a kid, she had always cooked it for him and later for Thea when they had been sick. It had always been better than any medication, so Oliver was sure that it wouldn’t be any different now. Felicity would be happy about it.

The fact that he could make sure Carter was treating her right was just an additional bonus.

If things were going great, Oliver would find Carter taking good care of Felicity. He could just leave the soup to them and leave to spend his evening with McKenna, knowing everything was alright. When he found out that Carter wasn’t taking care of Felicity the way he was supposed to though, he would push past the soreness in his muscles for a moment and punch Carter.

The thought almost filled his chest with an excited anticipation. He just couldn’t get used to Carter, so it was hard to pretend that he liked him.

When Oliver stopped in front of the door, he took in another deep breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. Maybe it was just because he had never gone to visit Felicity at Carter’s apartment before and the fact that Carter being in Felicity’s life actually made Oliver feel a little bit insecure. He couldn’t say why that was.

With a shake of his head, Oliver pushed that thought away and knocked at the door softly. He held his breath while he was waiting for the door to be opened.

The door stayed closed though and there were no sounds coming from the other side of the door. Oliver just knocked once more.

This time, steps were to be heard at the other side of the door. Only a moment later, Carter opened the door. He was looking weirdly casual in his jogging pants and the dark shirt. He almost looked like a normal human being. Maybe if Moira saw him like that, she would finally stop seeing a God in him.

“Oliver.”

Quickly, Oliver cleared his throat. He guessed that Carter had taken the day off early, so he could take of Felicity. He might be a real enrichment to Felicity’s life after all. She deserves someone who took care of her.

“Hi,” Oliver said and cleared his throat once more. “I just wanted to bring Felicity some soup.”

Oliver held out the case of soup for Carter. He looked down at it for a moment before he met Oliver’s eyes again with a soft _Oh_. He didn’t take the case form him though, making Oliver almost feel like an idiot.

“Felicity’s sick?”

Oliver frowned. “Shouldn’t you know that the best? I mean she’s probably lying in bed and sleeping, right? Maybe she was really just exhausted, but she looked like hell, so I figured that she could use some soup. Raisa always made it for us when we were kids, but I am sure it still helps now.”

Again, Oliver held out the case of soup for Carter. Again, Carter took a brief look at it but didn’t take it.

“Is everything alright?” Oliver asked eventually. “I mean Felicity is okay, right? She’s not too sick, is she?”

Felicity had never been sick often. Oliver remembered some times she had been sick, but it had never been too bad. Most of the times, she had had a flu or a stomach flu. It was annoying and stressing, but it had never been too bad.

“To be honest,” Carter said slowly, “I don’t know because Felicity does not live here anymore.”

Oliver frowned, now completely confused. “What?”

Carter sighed quietly. He opened the door a little further and leaned into the frame of the door. He looked uncomfortable talking about it, but Oliver couldn’t be considerate of that. He didn’t want to either.

“Felicity and I broke up.”

Oliver’s frown deepened. Two days ago, they had celebrated their engagement party. He and Felicity had left which had gotten him in a small fight with McKenna. Carter had seemed absolutely okay with that though. He hadn’t reproached Felicity for leaving their party or anything like that. Felicity hadn’t mentioned anything like that either.

She hadn’t even mentioned anything about this breakup when Oliver had talked about Carter earlier today.

“You- you what?”

Carter’s face showed even more uncomfortableness now. He shifted slightly, his muscles tensing. He looked back over his shoulder like he wanted to disappear.

“I think Felicity is the one who should tell you this.”

“Carter, if this is about the fact that we left during the engagement part, that is all on me. I was the one who convinced her to go. She didn’t want to. I have always had a bad influence on her, but I promise to try harder now and-“

Carter lifted a hand, making Oliver stop. He took in another deep breath and released it with a sigh. He didn’t look angry or particularly sad. It was hard to say what was in his face. It made him a lot calmer than Oliver thought a guy should be when his engagement had just been broken off.

“You should really talk to Felicity about this,” Carter said firmly, “and tell her to get well soon.”

Oliver nodded slowly, still not really understanding what had just happened. He guessed Carter was right which he didn’t even like to think. He stepped away from the door.

“Bye, Carter.”

“Bye, Oliver.”

Before Oliver had even turned around, Carter had already closed the door. Frowning, Oliver turned around and walked back to the elevator slowly.

After Felicity and Cooper had broken up years ago, he had been the first person she had called. The moment she had been out of his dorm room, she had called Oliver to tell him everything about it. They had stayed on the phone all through the night. They had watched movies together and eaten ice cream together despite the thousands of miles that had been between them.

He didn’t like that she had been keeping this from him. There had been too many secrets between them lately it seemed. Maybe the long distance that had been between them had had more effect on their friendship as Oliver had been able to see before.

As the elevator doors closed behind him, Oliver pulled his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans and dialed Felicity’s number. The dial tone rang several times before she took the call.

“Oliver. Hey.”

Felicity’s voice sounded a little raspy and Oliver could hear the tiredness and exhaustion in it. Although he was a little bit angry with Felicity for not telling him about this and though he was confused about everything Carter had just told him, his worry for her took over.

“Hey,” he said with soft voice. “Were you asleep? Did I wake you?”

“It’s fine,” Felicity said and released a long groan, telling him that she was probably stretching out her arms and legs. “Carter is probably coming home from work soon anyway.”

Oliver released a low sound. Felicity was holding onto that lie it seemed.

“Well, I guess I am going to let him spoil me with a lot of good food then,” Felicity added. “I mean it’s a good fiancé’s task to-“

“Felicity, I know that you and Carter broke up.”

“Oh.”

As Felicity fell silent, Oliver bit down on his tongue. He hadn’t wanted to ambush her with that, but he also didn’t want her to lie to him.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “Oh.”

Oliver could hear Felicity shift. Her breathing was shallow and uneven. Even through the phone he knew that she was uncomfortable.

“Can we meet?” Oliver asked. “I want to talk to you, but not on the phone.”

Felicity didn’t hesitate. “I am at Hochman Hotel, Room 5213.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Oliver said. “See you.”

“Yeah.”

Oliver hung up and stepped out of the elevator. With fast steps he hurried over to his car and got inside. With the case of soup on the passenger seat, he drove through the city to the hotel.

The entire time, his thoughts were revolving around that one important question. Why had Felicity and Carter broken up?

Oliver hadn’t liked to admit it so far and he didn’t like to admit it now, but he hadn’t thought that Felicity and Carter’s relationship had been the one that had had a rough path in front of them until the wedding. Unlike him and McKenna, Felicity and Carter had always looked so in tune with each other.

Maybe the fact that they had decided to get married so soon had just gotten them into trouble. They had barely known each other, so maybe that had led to their break-up now.

Oliver could imagine how Felicity was feeling. She and Carter had been so happy, and now it was ruined. He might even understand why she had kept it to herself. Talking about it just made it official and, hence, true.

When Oliver reached the door to apartment 5213, he didn’t waste any time and knocked at the door immediately. It didn’t take long for Felicity to open, and Oliver just wrapped her into his arms, hugging her tightly, immediately. Felicity seemed surprised because it took her a moment to wrap her arms around him to and snuggle up to him. As she did, her the tension faded from her body though. She seemed a lot more relaxed.

Relief flushed through his veins at the feeling of holding Felicity in his arms safely. He angled his head forward and brushed his lips against the crown of her head. His nose nestled against her hair and he breathed her in deeply.

When Felicity leaned her head back to look at him, Oliver saw tears in the corners of her eyes. Frowning slightly, he brushed the tears away with his thumbs. He felt her sadness echoing inside of his chest the way he always did when Felicity was feeling sad.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

With a deep sigh, Felicity stepped away from Oliver. He wanted to hold her against him, so he could comfort her more, but he understood that she needed some room. As he let go of her, Felicity went more into the small room. When she sat down on the bed, Oliver closed the door behind them and joined her there. He sat down on the mattress across from her and laced his fingers through hers.

Felicity lowered her eyes to their joint fingers and watched his thumbs stroking over the back of her hands. She stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes.

“Felicity.”

Oliver’s voice was soft. He didn’t want to pressure her, but he just had to know what had happened. He’d only get more worried with every second he didn’t know what had happened between her and Carter.

When Oliver squeezed her fingers encouragingly, Felicity lifted her eyes to his with a sigh. Looking at him, she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know,” she said and to Oliver’s utter surprise it really sounded honest. “It just didn’t fit. I mean we barely knew each other and we might have had chemistry and we might have gotten along well, but it’s just not enough for a marriage.”

“Of course not,” Oliver replied quietly. “You need love and same goals and whatever else.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Yeah, and I think we wanted something completely different out of life. We just didn’t know that until now. It’s good we found it out so soon though. I mean better now than after the wedding, right?”

Oliver smiled softly. It was quite rational of her to think that way, but he knew she was right. Once you were married, it was just harder to break all ties. It was still possible and easier than ever in modern times, but it was still hard.

“Of course,” Oliver said. “Of course it’s better.”

A long moment of silence spread. Oliver and Felicity looked at each other. He could see the same feeling of relief he was feeling in his chest being mirrored in her eyes. They both just felt the safest and the most comfortable when there were no secrets between them.

“What do you have there?” Felicity asked eventually, nodding towards the case Oliver had placed on the bed. “Did you bring me food?”

Oliver chuckled. “Of course I did. It’s Raisa’s special chicken soup. I thought you were sick, so it sounded like the best choice.”

“I love Raisa’s chicken soup,” Felicity said. She opened the lid of the case and smelled at the delicious food. “It smells as great as it did when we were kids. It smells like childhood.”

Oliver smiled. “I guess now that you are not sick, ice cream would have been the right food to bring though.”

“A whole bucket of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes.”

Chuckling, Oliver shook his head. Felicity’s desire for mint chocolate chip ice cream had always been strong. He was sure that she could live from that ice cream and nothing else for the rest of the world and it wouldn’t bother her. Well, maybe she would miss Big Belly’s Burgers.

Narrowing his eyes at her slightly, Oliver leaned forward. “So how about this? I will go and get everything we need to get you through the night – ice cream, wine, thrilling movies and everything else – and then we will have all the fun in the world.”

Felicity smiled, excited about the idea. They had had sleepovers so often and they could both probably recall a lot of great memories of those nights.

Before she had said anything, her smile fell slightly though. She frowned, cocking her head.

“Are you sure McKenna would be alright with that?” she asked. “I doubt that most women want their fiancé to spend a night away, especially with some other woman.”

“McKenna is not like that,” Oliver assured her. “She knows you’re my best friend, so you hardly count as _some other woman_.”

Saying that, he tapped his forefinger against the tip of Felicity’s nose. She scrunched up her nose slightly, but she chuckled amusedly nonetheless.

“I’ll be back in half an hour,” Oliver told her. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

While Felicity made herself comfortable in the pillows, Oliver walked to the door. He turned back to her there once more, winking at her. When Felicity smiled, he smiled back at her and eventually left the room.

As the door fell shut, he released a long breath. He guessed he could still punch Carter for something else then.


	7. Querencia

_= A place where we feel safe and that we draw our strength and inspiration from (Spanish)_

 

Felicity lowered her nose and smelled at the steaming cup. The usual euphory stayed absent though as she was reminded once more that her mother had denied her the coffee she had wanted and really needed given the conversation they were having. With a sigh, Felicity took a sip and placed the cup on the couch table.

When she turned to her mother, she found Donna’s eyes still on her. The expression in her face was calm, but the worry was shining through. She almost looked at Felicity like she feared that she was going to start crying any second.

Felicity hadn’t cried much after the break-up with Carter. She had shed some tears, but those had mostly been tears of disappointment. She had looked forward to starting a new chapter in her life and realizing that this wasn’t going to happen had hurt. She had known that breaking up had been the right decision though which had made it a lot easier.

“Are you really okay?”

It was probably the hundredth time that her mother was asking this now. Felicity’s reassurances that she was really feeling alright didn’t seem to resonate with Donna at all. She guessed it was a typical attitude of mothers. They never stopped worrying about their children.

“Mom,” Felicity said softly. “I told you that I am alright.”

“You did.” Donna pursed her lips slightly. “But I am not sure I can believe you yet.”

Felicity bit back a sigh of her own. She knew that her mother only meant well, and she was probably really worried about her. The way her mother continued bugging her about the break-up and her feelings towards it now was the very reason why Felicity had taken a couple of days before telling her mother though.

With Oliver, it had been easier. She hadn’t told him at first either because she had needed time to process this herself and she hadn’t really wanted to talk about it with anyone. Even now she didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. Oliver had made it easy because the moment he had come back to her hotel room with that care package, he hadn’t talked to her about the break-up anymore.

Thinking about it now, Felicity didn’t know why she had thought that telling Oliver was a bad idea. Well, maybe she knew but it had just been stupid. Oliver had always found a way to distract her or comfort her or just give her whatever she had needed in a time of crisis.

“Mom, it really isn’t that much of a big deal,” Felicity repeated once more. “I know it should be a big deal because we were planning on getting married, but Carter and I have only been together for a couple of months. If we had broken up without being engaged, it wouldn’t be a big deal either.”

“But you did choose to get married,” Donna said firmly, “so it is a big deal, Felicity.”

Felicity sighed. She should have probably taken Oliver’s offer to come with her when she told her mother about the broken off engagement. He usually had the better rapport with his mother. Just like Oliver claimed that she got a better handle on his mother.

Telling her mother had something Felicity had felt she should do on her own though.

“Carter and I broke up by mutual agreement. There was no big fight. There was no puddle of tears.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “There were just two adults that realized they aren’t right for each other.”

Donna frowned, shaking her head slightly. Felicity knew that her mother didn’t understand it. She could see it in her face.

Her mother had been in love exactly one time in her life. Her love for Noah Kuttler, Felicity’s father, had blinded Donna to a point that she had put her life and the life of their daughter into his hands. She had trusted him, thinking he would love her as much as she had loved him. The pain she had felt when he had taken his stuff and just left them without a single word of warning. She had felt like her entire life had fallen apart.

For Felicity it was different though. Carter had been supposed to become a part of her life. He had never been supposed to become her entire life though. Her sun hadn’t dawned just because Carter was no longer a part of her future.

“But what exactly happened?” Donna asked. “I don’t understand it, Felicity. Everything has been alright when you two left the engagement party that night and suddenly you are breaking up? Something must have happened.”

Once more Felicity wished that she had coffee. It helped her focus which would certainly be helpful here right now as she was sure that this conversation wouldn’t find an end soon. Her mother would continue to drill her with questions.

“On our way back to Carter’s apartment, everything was alright at first,” Felicity replied honestly. “Carter and I were talking. Everything was fine.”

Felicity remembered that they had even talked about their wedding some more. They had considered possible locations which they had known they had to pick soon if they wanted to make sure that they got the location they wanted.

“At his apartment, I went to the bathroom first and already got into my pajamas,” Felicity recalled. “When I got back into the bedroom, Carter was sitting on the edge of the mattress. He looked preoccupied, so I asked what was going on and somehow the conversation ended with both of us realizing that we shouldn’t get married. I organized myself a room at a hotel and moved out. End of the story.”

Donna narrowed her eyes at Felicity, and she didn’t have to say it for Felicity to know that Donna wanted to call bullshit on the story Felicity had told. She probably noticed that there was something missing in there, but Felicity wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. Even if she was, the last person she wanted to talk to about that was her mother.

“That doesn’t help me to decide whether or not I need to kick Carter’s ass now.”

Felicity smiled. She and her mother might have had their difficulties when it came to their relationship. All Donna had ever wanted to do was protect her daughter. Felicity knew that.

“There is absolutely no reason to kick Carter’s ass,” Felicity replied. “We aren’t a match for each other, but that nobody’s fault. Neither of us is angry with the other, so you shouldn’t be angry with him either.”

Donna looked at Felicity urgently for a moment longer. She still didn’t seem to be exactly sure whether or not she should believe Felicity.

“Besides,” Felicity added, figuring that she should lighten up the mood now, so she could change the subject as soon as possible, “I already promised Oliver that he could punch Carter in the face if I changed my mind.”

Donna perked up her eyebrows slightly. There was an almost hidden smile playing around her eyes as she watched Felicity closely. She lifted her cup of tea to her lips and took a sip. All the time, her eyes stayed on Felicity’s face.

“Oliver knows about the break-up?”

Felicity nodded. Any other mother would probably be angry that she had told someone else about this before she had told her mother. With Donna, it was different though. She was always happy if her daughter confided in Oliver.

The thought that Donna could happily go back to envisioning Felicity’s future to be with Oliver now crossed Felicity’s mind. She quickly pushed that thought away though. Her engagement hadn’t lasted long enough, but with Oliver getting married to McKenna soon, that crazy dream was hopefully going to be buried forever soon.

“He found out the day we met to plan his wedding,” Felicity said. “He came to visit me at Carter’s apartment, so Carter told him. He took care of me that night.”

“Oh?!”

“Not like that, Mom!” Felicity said, shaking her head vehemently and rolling her eyes. “Oliver just came by. I told him what happened. He got me ice cream and wine and some other stuff and we watched movies all night until I fell asleep.”

“Well, Oliver has always been a really good friend for you.”

Felicity nodded her head, smiling softly. There really was nobody that could have been as good a friend as Oliver was. It was why all those years that they had spent apart, nobody had managed to replace him as her best friend. She just hadn’t found a connection like that with anyone else yet, and maybe she never would.

“Oliver is just the best.”

“Yes, he is,” Donna agreed, nodding her head. “And he’s going to be the best son-in-law too.”

“For Mr. and Mrs. Hall, yes.”

“Who knows.” Donna cocked her head. “A lot can happen in a month.”

Felicity pinched her mother’s side, but both women were chuckling in amusement. As much as Donna insisted on this possibility, Felicity knew that her mother was very well aware that this wasn’t going to happen once more.

“Stop that,” Felicity said and took another sip of her tea. “Oh, and please don’t ever mention something like that in front of McKenna.”

Donna perked up her eyebrows. “Trouble in paradise there too?”

Felicity thought back to the conversation she had had with McKenna the day she had first met her after coming back to Starling. McKenna had seemed really insecure about the friendship that connected Felicity with Oliver. She didn’t want her to feel any more threatened, especially now that she was no long engaged to Carter.

“No,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “I just think that a bride-to-be doesn’t want to hear something like that, even though it’s just a tease. I am trying to be friends with her, but it’s not easy to be friends with someone who thinks you could possible be a threat to your relationship.”

Donna nodded slowly before she put her cup of tea to the couch table. With a quiet sigh, she lifted her hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I will be nice,” she said then and her smile widened, “though I actually have proof that Oliver already is my son-in-law.”

When Donna got up, Felicity groaned. She already suspected what was going to come now.

“Mom, please,” she pleaded. “Not the photo albums.”

Donna chuckled without replying to Felicity’s request. She kneeled down in front of the drawers of the cabinet and one of the photo albums out. She already searched for the right photos that she wanted to show to Felicity.

“Ah, here it is!”

Smiling widely, Donna sat down next to Felicity. She pushed the photo album closer to Felicity, so she could take a look at it too.

“Oh god.” Felicity chuckled at the sight of the old photos. “That’s-“

“-romantic?”

“I would have said disturbing.” Felicity shot her mother a pointed glare before she looked at the photos once more. “Really disturbing to be honest.”

The entire double page was filled with photos of her and Oliver. Oliver was wearing a suit that was way to big for him, while Felicity was wearing a white dress. It was probably meant to be a short dress, but it was too long for Felicity, so it actually reached the floor. In her hand she was carrying a bouquet of tulips with the dirty bulbs still attached to it and a long scarf was wrapped around her head. Felicity guessed it was supposed to look like a veil.

Felicity shook her head in disbelief. She had so many good memories about her childhood with Oliver. She really couldn’t remember ever getting married to Oliver though. She had probably blocked out that memory.

“When did this happen?”

Again, Felicity shook her head. She was unable to look away from those photos though. She and Oliver were smiling at each other happily, their fingers laced together. Still, it felt incredibly weird to see them like that.

“It was during our first months here,” Donna said with a reverent smile. “Moira and I were sitting on the terrace, drinking tea and chatting. You and Oliver had gone inside to play there. At least that was what we assumed. Then you came back outside, all dressed up like that with the clothes you had stolen from Moira’s and Robert’s wardrobes. You told us that you had just gotten married and that you would be together forever.”

Felicity scrunched up her nose slightly and sucked in a deep breath. Although she was seeing this with her own eyes, she couldn’t really believe this had really happened.

When she remembered her childhood with Oliver, she remembered running through the garden, hiding in the forest and exploring the house. They had always sought adventure. Getting married really didn’t fit in her memory.

“To be fair,” Donna said after a moment, “I think you said you wanted to be together forever as friends.”

Donna sighed softly like it physically hurt her to admit this. Just like Felicity had blocked out this entire memory, Donna had probably blocked out the memory of this little addition _as friends._

“It’s crazy how long ago all of this is already,” Felicity said with a sigh. “Since I am back in Starling, I just realized how old I’ve gotten.”

Donna chuckled, patting her daughter’s knee. “I hope you are not that old yet because that would mean that I am ancient.”

Donna turned the page of the album to reveal a page with photos of the two of them together here in this house. In the background, Felicity could see the process of their moving process being secured forever. Though Donna was still very young in the photos, Felicity didn’t miss that glint of worry and sadness in her eyes. It had been in her mother’s eyes for years after Noah had left.

Smiling, Felicity linked her arm with her mother’s and leaned closer to her. With a sigh, she even rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.

“I think you made the best decision you could have made by moving to Starling,” Felicity said. “I couldn’t have wished for a better place to grow up.”

Donna stroked her hand over her daughter’s forearm. “I am glad that we can agree to this. I had imagined a different childhood for you, but, measured by the result, I’d say it’s not too bad, right?”

“Not bad at all.” Felicity chuckled. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come back to Starling now. It’s the right place for me. It’s my home.”

There was a long moment of silence as they both let those words sink in. Felicity knew that Donna had always felt like she had stolen a part of Felicity’s childhood by uprooting their entire lives. Maybe, for a short time, it had felt like that for Felicity too, but she hadn’t needed long to see all the good things Starling had been able to offer her.

“Speaking of home,” Donna said eventually, “have you considered where you want to live from now on? You can’t stay in a hotel forever.”

With a sigh, Felicity lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder and nodded her head. Moving into the hotel had been the only solution after she and Carter had broken up. He had offered her to stay for as long as she needed until she had found something new, but it had felt wrong to her. A clean break had seemed the more appropriate way.

The hotel room Felicity was living in was certainly nice, but Felicity couldn’t say that she was feeling comfortable there. She had never been the kind of person to enjoy any stay at hotels. She had even preferred a vacation at home because she just didn’t like the anonymity and cleanness of a hotel room.

“I actually contacted a realtor to look into cozy townhouses around here,” Felicity said. “I think that’s what I want for now. Then, in a few years, I can still change my mind.”

“Yes. Of course.” Donna nodded her head. “And if you need a place to stay, you know that you are always welcome here.”

“Thank you, Mom, but I think it’s best to move somewhere new and somewhere that’s really my place. I need to look forward now.” Felicity sighed. “I just hope that it won’t take too long until I find something.”

Donna took another few sips of her tea before she cocked her head at Felicity and asked, “Why don’t you ask Moira and Robert to help you? They have contacts everywhere. I am sure they know someone who can help you find something.”

Felicity couldn’t deny that that was true. Sometimes, it felt like Robert and Moira knew everyone in Starling. They certainly knew everyone that mattered, so Felicity was sure that asking them for help would increase her chances of finding something soon.

Still, she shook her head. “No.”

“Why not?” Donna asked. “I know they wouldn’t mind. They-“

“They did so much for me already,” Felicity said. “I mean I wouldn’t where I was today if it wasn’t for them. They payed for the private schools I attended. They payed for MIT. They offered me a job now.”

“Because you worked your ass off to expand your skills,” Donna said firmly. “Robert hired you because he knows that you are the best that can happen to his company. He’d be sad if he thought that you weren’t feeling like he took you serious.”

Felicity puckered her lips slightly, lowering her eyes. She knew he mother was right. Robert had always seen her as his daughter, but he had always made clear that his admiration for her talents and skills had nothing to do with the fatherly feelings he had for her. He had employed her because, as a man of business, he had known that it was the right decision for the company.

“I know that,” Felicity said eventually, almost whispering the words, “and I know that they would help me without any hesitation if I asked them. I just think it’s time to stand on my own two feet. I have leaned on them for long enough.”

From the expression in her mother’s face, Felicity knew that she didn’t agree with it. Instead of voicing her opinion, Donna just released a long breath and nodded her head though.

“Alright,” she said. “If that’s what you want, then you try it on your own. You will tell me if you need any help though, right? I can come with you to view the houses if you want me to. I mean it’s probably nicer to do this together than doing it alone.”

Felicity smiled gratefully and squeezed her mother’s hand. She appreciated her mother’s willingness to help while accepting that Felicity had her own ways to do things at the same time.

That Felicity wanted to rather do this on her own was something she would just keep to herself for a while longer. If she was lucky, she had found a new place to live in before her mother would ask her about it the next time.

“I am just happy you decided to stay in Starling despite your engagement being broken off,” Donna said eventually. “I would understand if you left, but it would be a pity.”

“I came to Starling to take that position at QC. It was a lucky coincidence that Carter was still living here,” Felicity explained. “Besides, there is a lot keeping me here in Starling. I have my job. I have you. I have Tatsu and Akari.”

“And Oliver.”

Felicity nodded her head, whispering, “And Oliver.”

 

* * *

 

The moment the school bell rang, children were already running outside to where their parents were waiting for them. They almost looked like they couldn’t await to get away from the property as quickly as possible.

Most kids had been like that in Felicity’s childhood too. She remembered very well how she couldn’t have packed her school bag too slowly enough, so she could just spend more time at school. Unlike all of her classmates, she had always enjoyed school. From kindergarten to high school, she couldn’t have spent enough time there.

Obviously, her little goddaughter shared Felicity’s loved for school though. While all the others kids had come running out, it took some time before Akari let the building too. She was strolling down the plastered path to where Felicity was waiting for her, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

“Hi, Felicity.”

“Hey.”

With a smile, Felicity took Akari’s backpack from her. It was quite heavy considering that Akari was still a little girl. If Felicity was estimating her goddaughter correctly, she probably didn’t want to leave a single book in school over the weekend. Maybe had five minutes to take a look into one of the books. She didn’t want to miss that chance.

“How was school?” Felicity asked. “You look happy. Did you get the biology test back that you learned for so much?”

“Nope.” Akari’s smile widened even more and her eyes filled with the same expression of admiration and amazement that Felicity knew from herself when she was talking about computers. “But my math teacher presented a project to us today. I am really excited about it. She said it’s going to be a lot of work, but I think it will be a lot of fun.”

Felicity smiled, amazed by Akari’s joy about this. Most kids didn’t know what privilege it was to learn so much. They wanted to spend their time playing with their smartphones or whatever. Girls like Akari, who enjoyed school and had an inexhaustible thirst for knowledge were rare she guessed.

“Maybe it’s going to be both,” Felicity said. “It could be fun and a lot of work at the same time.”

“But mostly fun.”

“Yeah, that’s probably right. Work is only half as exhausting if you are having fun doing it.” Felicity chuckled and nodded towards her car. “Come on. You can tell me everything about this project on our drive home.”

Akari nodded, and both of them turned to the car already. They only managed to take two steps before someone behind them called for them.

“Excuse me!” the light voice called. “Sorry, just a second please!”

Felicity stopped and turned around to see a dark-haired woman rushing towards them. Frowning, she looked at Akari.

“Who’s that?”

“She’s my class teacher,” Akari replied. “Mrs. Sanchez.”

Felicity frowned slightly. “Hey, if you are in trouble, now would be the time to tell me.”

Akari rolled with her eyes. “I am a good student. I am never in trouble.”

Instead of telling Akari that even the best of students could get into trouble at school, Felicity just released a vacuous sound. She herself had been a good student too, but she had gotten into trouble a couple of times. Oliver had always insisted that it had been his fault though, and that had always gotten her out of any trouble. He was just believed easily as Oliver had indeed been in trouble a lot during his childhood and youth.

Before Felicity could tell Akari any of that, Mrs. Sanchez had already caught up on them though. She was breathing heavily as she had her hand reached out for Felicity.

“Hi,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “I am Mrs. Sanchez. I am-“

“Akari’s class teacher,” Felicity took over to give the teacher some time to breathe. “I am Felicity Smoak. I am a good friend of Tatsu.”

“And my godmother.”

Felicity winked at Akari before she turned back to Mrs. Sanchez with a nod of her head. “Exactly. I pick her up from school today.”

Mrs. Sanchez fanned herself with her hand before she nodded her head. With one last deep intake of breath, she seemed to have gained control back over herself.

“Mrs. Yamashiro told us so,” Mrs. Sanchez explained. “I was just wondering if you had a second for me.”

Felicity frowned slightly, but it didn’t last long. Turning to Akari, she smiled at her.

“Hey, Sweetie, do you want to go play for a bit?”

Akari shot a brief glance at her teacher. Then she chuckled, turned around and left though. Felicity kept an eye on where she way playing at the climbing wall even when she turned to Mrs. Sanchez again.

“Is Akari in trouble?” Felicity asked. “Did something happen or-?”

“Oh, no.” Mrs. Sanchez smiled softly. “Akari is a great student and an amazing, little girl. She’s not in any trouble. It’s quite the opposite actually.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Which means?”

Mrs. Sanchez looked back over her shoulder to watch Akari for a moment. When she looked back at Felicity, she sighed.

“I always think it’s a terrible thing to say for a teacher because it feels like a failure,” she explained, “but I really think that school alone isn’t enough to challenge Akari. She’s a really smart girl and she’s got an incredible talent for math. She loves solving math problems, and she is very good at it too. I think that maybe, if she gets some additional advancement outside of school, her skills could be much more promoted.”

Felicity looked at Akari and smiled proudly. Akari wasn’t her child and Felicity hadn’t done much to help her becoming the girl she was today. Still, she felt incredibly proud at the mention of Akari’s intelligence.

“I know that it’s not going to be easy. Akari is living in the Glades, right?”

Felicity nodded. “It’s a street at the fringe of the Glades. It could as well be Pennytown. I fear it’s in the Glades though, yes. It’s why her mother asked me to pick her up from school. She shouldn’t go home alone.”

Mrs. Sanchez nodded. “A lot of kids that grow up there don’t get the chances they need. We try to help making a difference, but it just doesn’t work as well as we were hoping for so far. The school misses the money that is necessary, and we don’t have enough teachers either. Nobody wants to work around here, knowing the background these kids are coming from.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, unsure what to say or whether she should say something in the first place. She knew that the Glades weren’t safe, and she also knew that kids living here grew up under the worst conditions. Often, they weren’t given a chance just because of where they had grown up.

“Don’t worry about that,” Felicity said firmly. “Mrs. Yamashiro I will take care of this.”

Mrs. Sanchez smiled happily. “Thank you. It’s good Akari has people in her life who help her enhancing her abilities.”

Felicity just smiled in response, so the teacher nodded her head one last time before she turned around and left to go back inside. On her way, she waved to Akari, who waved back at her with a happy smile.

While Akari continued to play on the swing, Felicity watched her. It was amazing what a happy girl she was. Happy and smart wasn’t a combination that there was often in kids Felicity figured. At least she herself had had troubles with combining both for a short time in her childhood.

She and Akari were quite similar. They were both very smart even though they were kids. They were both growing up with a single mother who tried to do everything to give them a happy childhood.

If it hadn’t been for Moira and Robert, Felicity would have probably grown up at a place like the Glades too. She remembered faintly that, when her father had left, her mother had been sitting at the kitchen table one morning, crying at the phone that the only place they could go was the trailer park in the outskirts of Vegas. Back when she had been a child herself, Felicity hadn’t understood it, but thinking back about it now, she actually feared that it had been the home of a lot of prostitutes Donna might have meant.

Thinking about the lengths her mother would have gone to just for Felicity not to starve still made a shiver run down the length of her spine now. The love of a mother to a child was something Felicity doubted anyone could understand that didn’t have a child of their own.

Felicity knew that Tatsu wasn’t in the same situation as her own mother had been. Tatsu’s situation had always been quite different from Donna’s. Even now, Felicity knew that Tatsu would be able to handle this herself. Felicity wanted to help in this though.

Robert and Moira had made sure that her father’s action wouldn’t take away Felicity’s chances of being great. Without them, she wouldn’t be where she was today. If she could give back some of that for another little girl who needed some assist-starting, Felicity would do so.

Pulling her phone from the pocket of her coat, she quickly typed a note into it. As soon as she was back in her hotel room tonight after the first viewings, she would check for recent programs to support girls that were interested in STEM. She knew there were a lot of those. Especially these last years that people had started realizing that STEM could as well be a thing that girls were good at, a lot of new organizations like that had formed.

After a short hesitation, Felicity added a second note. Queen Consolidated was one of the best-known companies in Starling. Since science was their business, they could as well do something for the encouragement of young girls. Maybe one day they would find a talent and the fact that they had encouraged that woman when she had still been a girl would make her work for them and take the company to another level of success. Everything was possible.

Even if they just encouraged a single girl to try STEM, it would be worth it. Felicity knew it.

“Felicity, can we go now?” Akari called from the swing. “I am getting hungry.”

Felicity smiled and pushed her phone back into the coat, replying, “Yes, we can go. Come on.”

As they walked towards the car, Akari started telling Felicity everything about the math problem. Her babbling took some unexpected turns here and there, but Felicity could deal with it. Compared to her own thoughts that she sometimes lost track of herself, Akari’s thoughts were as straight as the lines on a sheet of paper.

For a long time, Felicity continued to listen to Akari. Only half the drive to the bistro where they were supposed to meet Tatsu was over before Akari seemed to be finished with presenting the project to Felicity. If her math teacher had been half as enthusiastic as Akari had been, Felicity was sure that a lot of students would join in on the project.

“Math is really cool,” Felicity said. “In high school, I was Washington’s three-time state Mathematics Champion.”

“Cool!” Akari said.

Felicity smiled, winking at her in the rearview mirror. “Yes, it was very cool.”

It wasn’t that cool that she hadn’t been allowed to apply for the challenge once more in freshman year, but Felicity kept that to herself for now. It was still a sore spot for her, and she hadn’t been able to talk about anything else for at least a month after the principal had informed her about that.

“Did you always like math?”

Felicity nodded her head. “I did. Even before I was in school, I always did my best friend’s math homework. He was a year older than I was, so he had to start school a year before I did. I was always bored when he was at school, so I always waited for him to come home, so we could play together again. When it took him too long to do his homework, I did it for him.”

Akari chuckled. “Sounds like fun.”

“Oh, it was a lot of fun,” Felicity agreed. “I did his math homework most of the time. Unfortunately, it showed in his grades whenever he had a math test.”

“What did you do?”

“I started teaching him math.”

“And did it help?”

Felicity laughed, shaking her head. “No, absolutely not. Oliver just had no talent for math at all. I mean I got him from an E to a D, but that was it. He never got better.”

To be fair, Felicity had never gotten better at PE either, and Oliver had really tried hard to help her through that class. If he hadn’t been two heads taller than her, maybe he could have taken her PE tests for her.

 

* * *

 

“I’d say if this isn’t the right one either, we are ending the search for tonight,” Felicity said as she stepped next to her realtor. “I am a little bit tired to be honest.”

“I never view more than five properties a day with a client anyway,” the realtor whose name Felicity had forgotten. “There are a lot of impressions to process as it is.”

Felicity nodded her head as she couldn’t agree more. The first three properties she had seen today hadn’t been what she had been looking for. They had fitted the criteria she had told the realtor on the phone. From the moment of stepping into the townhouses, she had known that she wouldn’t feel at home there. It wasn’t rational. It was just a feeling.

Looking at the forth property now, she felt a little bit more confident that maybe this one would work for her. The house was almost a little bit hidden behind a big tree. The brick front was painted in a light beige. The door as well as the frames of the windows were painted in a dark grey that matched the stones of the path that led to the front door.

Felicity couldn’t say what it was, but something about the house just resonated with her. This could really work for her.

“The house was built in the early 1940s,” the realtor explained, “but there had been a gutting and redevelopment in 2017. There are three bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms. The garden at the back of the house needs some maintenance since the house hadn’t been lived in these past eight months, but a good gardener can do this in no time.”

“Sounds promising,” Felicity said optimistically. “I’d say we take a look inside.”

“Gladly.”

The realtor handed the keys over to Felicity. With large steps, she walked to the door and unlocked it. As she opened the door, Felicity felt her optimistic feeling increasing. Dark wood panels welcomed her.

“Is this the original hardwood floor?”

Felicity didn’t know why she asked that. Even if it wasn’t the original floor, she didn’t care about it. It looked nice and that was all that really mattered to her.

“Yes.” The realtor stepped inside behind Felicity and nodded her head. “It was refurbished, but it’s still the original floor.”

Under the sharp eyes of the realtor, Felicity viewed the house. She went from room to room, taking everything in thoroughly. She only listened to what the realtor was telling her slightly. It was the first property today that spoke to her itself. It didn’t need a realtor to speak on its behalf.

The dark wood panels were in every room. Others might hate it, but Felicity loved it. The rooms were spacious and the big windows offered a lot of natural light. The walls were all painted in light shades of grey.

The kitchen was enormous and there was a lot of expensive equipment there. Since Felicity didn’t cook, it didn’t really matter to her. At least she knew that she could leave the boxes of her daily takeout on the kitchen counters for at least a month before there wasn’t any more room on the kitchen counters to put them.

The modern bathrooms with the rain showers and large bathtubs made a really good impression though. A small walk-in closet at the master bedroom offered some additional room to put clothes away. The window sills in the bedrooms were particularly broad, so Felicity could cushion them and use them as a little reader’s corner. There was even a fireplace in the living room which would allow her to feel particularly warm and comfortable on cold winter evenings.

The look outside into the garden confirmed what the realtor had said before. The garden did need some maintenance, but it could really be done easily. There was a nice place to spend warm summer nights then. The terrace invited to spend time with friends there.

Felicity couldn’t say what this house had what the others hadn’t had. All she knew was that she was feeling at home here or like this could be her home. She hadn’t been able to feel the same way about any of the other properties.

Though it was so very different from Donna’s house, this house still reminded her of her childhood. She had had a happy childhood despite everything, so living at a place that remembered her of her childhood felt like a good choice. It did hold the quiet promise that maybe this would work for Felicity. This really could be her home.

“You barely said anything,” the realtor stated when they arrived back in the kitchen where their viewing had started. “I don’t know if that is a good sign or a bad sign.”

Felicity took another look around the kitchen. It was the room she could envision the least when it came to living here. Still, even in the kitchen she knew where she wanted to place her coffee machine and where she wanted to keep all the menu cards from the takeaway restaurants around.

“It’s a good sign,” she said, looking at the realtor again. “If I buy this house, when could I move in?”

“Tomorrow. Basically.”

Felicity reached out her hand without hesitation. There hadn’t been a lot of decisions she had been sure of lately. This one was made easily though. She just knew it was right. The realtor needed a second to process the situation, but she accepted Felicity’s hand quickly.

“I’ll take it,” Felicity said.

“The price is-“

“I will pay whatever the owner asks for,” Felicity said firmly. “It’s a beautiful house, and it’s worth every penny that could be demanded for it.”

While the realtor left the house to call the owner from the front porch, Felicity strolled through the rooms once more. Without the realtor following her, Felicity could see her future here even more clearly. She could see where she would place her furniture and where she needed a flower or some photos.

If she really focused, she could even see herself lying on the couch in front of the fireplace, watching a movie and cuddling with the dog.

Maybe now was the right time to buy a dog. She had always wanted a dog, but she had never dared to buy one. She didn’t have much time aside from her work. Since she was becoming kind of her own boss soon though, this might be the right time to finally get a dog.

Whether or not a pet would be a possibility in the next months, Felicity knew that this was where she wanted to live. She could be happy here. She knew that much and for now that was all that really mattered.


	8. Merak

_= The feeling of bliss and sense of oneness with the universe that comes from the simplest of things like daily pleasures that add up to a great sense of happiness and fulfillment (Serbian)_

 

Just when he was about to take another look at his schedule to check if he had messed up the time again, Felicity came rushing into the room.

“Hi,” she said quickly and sat down in the empty chair next to him at the conference table. “I am sorry for being late. I was down in the Department of Applied Science and took a look at the progression that’s being made with our bio-stimulant. The results of the last tests looked pretty good and I was discussing all the ways we could still improve the product and suddenly I forgot all sense for time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” With a smile, Oliver handed her a mug of fresh coffee. “You just owe me one now. The next time I am late, you can’t hold it against me.”

“If anything,” Felicity said firmly, leaning forward and taking the mug of coffee from him, “You owe me one less after the 5214 time you were late in our childhood and youth.”

Oliver puckered his lips. “It wasn’t that often.”

When Felicity shot him a pointed look, Oliver rolled his lips into his mouth and looked at him with the cutest facial expression he could offer. Chuckling, Felicity put her hand to his face and pushed him away playfully.

“It was probably even more often.”

With a shake of her head, Felicity lifted the mug of coffee to her lips. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the smell of the steaming liquid for a moment. Only then did she take a sip. The taste made her release a quiet sigh of content.

Oliver smiled softly as he watched her. He had always admired Felicity’s love for coffee. She was like an addict when it came to her daily dose of caffeine. She could never get enough of it.

“Now, do you want to start or should I start?” Felicity asked and shot Oliver a brief look while she was opening the file that she had brought with her. “Please say that I get to start.”

Chuckling, Oliver leaned back in his chair. “Fine. You start.”

Since they had started working together, they had met every other day to update the other on what they were working on and where they needed to communicate more. As long as Felicity was learning the ropes of the company and they were both getting used to working together in the most powerful positions of QC, they were playing it safe with the regular meetings.

Though these meetings made it hard to schedule appointment with investors and partners outside of the company, Oliver enjoyed always enjoyed these meetings. Watching Felicity while she was talking about her work just infected him with this happiness and excitement. It was impossible not to be infected with it given how happy it made her.

After Felicity had told him everything about the progressions down in the Department of Applied Science, he informed her about the current developments on the market. He kept the fact that he had managed to increase the budget for her project until the end of his report. It got him exactly the reaction he had hoped for.

Naming the new number alone made Felicity’s mind go crazy. She started babbling about everything she would do with the money and how they would be able to reach their goals that much faster if they invested the money well.

Oliver had been seventeen years old when he had first started to get to know the company. He hadn’t really been interested in it back then, but his father had insisted that he was getting to know it better. Since Oliver had grown up saying he was going to take over the company one day, he guessed it had only been fair.

Anyway, through all the years, Oliver had talked to a lot of people. He had seen a lot of people talk about their work. Nobody had ever been even close to as excited as Felicity was about her work every single day. It was good to have her in the company. It needed her spirit.

“Half an hour,” Felicity said, stretching out her arms over her head and releasing a long yawn. “We are getting quicker and quicker here.”

Oliver smiled. “Yes, we are. We are good at working together.”

“We have always been good when we have been together,” Felicity replied, leaning back in her chair and holding her mug of coffee between both of her hands. “We are going to rock taking this company into the future.”

Even if hadn’t agreed with her, he wouldn’t say it out loud. Felicity was so convinced of this that no arguing would change her mind anyway. Her optimism was another thing the company could certainly need right now.

“Speaking of future,” Felicity added after a moment, cocking her head at him, “did you make progress with the wedding planning?”

“Yes, we did.”

Oliver smiled briefly before he turned back to his files and pretended to read some of the papers there. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Felicity frowning at him.

Of course Oliver knew that his reaction wasn’t what it should be. He just couldn’t talk about his wedding with Felicity. Her engagement had just been broken off. She had been very rational about it the night she had told him, but Oliver still felt like it was wrong to tell her about his wedding plans now. He didn’t want to hurt her.

“Oliver?”

Pursing his lips, Oliver shot her a brief glance. He tried to turn back to his papers, but Felicity was holding onto the armrest of his chair. She turned his chair around until he was facing her. Even if he tried, he couldn’t avoid her gaze. Felicity was looking at him intently, her eyebrows perked up while she was waiting for Oliver to tell her what was going on with him.

Oliver released a long sigh and took Felicity’s hand, holding it between both of his. He lowered his eyes for a moment before he looked back into her eyes.

“I shouldn’t talk to you about my wedding.”

“Oliver, I am fine,” Felicity said. “Of course it’s sad, but things like that happen. I am not heartbroken. I am not devastated. I am maybe a little bit disappointed, but that really is everything. Besides, even if I was heartbroken or devastated, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be happy for you.”

Oliver scrunched up his nose slightly. “Still, I feel guilty.”

Felicity frowned, and her fingers fumbled with the end of her ponytail a little bit nervously.

“Guilty?” she asked. “Why? It’s not like you had anything to do with our break-up?”

“So you want to tell me that our little trip to BBB wasn’t what triggered this?” Oliver asked doubtingly. “Really?”

Since Felicity had told him about the break-up, he hadn’t been able to get this question out of his mind. He honestly wondered if he should go to Carter and talk to him about it again. He didn’t want to be the reason his best friend lost the love of her life if that was what Carter had been to her.

There was a moment of hesitation and for the break of a second Felicity even broke eye contact. Now Oliver was almost sure that there was at least some truth to his suspicion.

“Oliver, our trip to BBB might have triggered Carter and me to see the truth, but it wasn’t the reason we broke up,” Felicity said quietly. “That was bound to happen eventually, and it just happened soon enough for us to pull the breaks and hop off the wagon.”

Oliver looked at Felicity intensely, trying to find any doubt in her eyes, but she seemed to mean exactly what she had just said. Though Oliver still wasn’t completely convinced, he nodded his head with a long sigh.

“I am really happy for you,” Felicity assured after a moment, squeezing his hand. “You are my best friend, and I want you to be as happy as you can possibly be. I mean I remember those times in high school when you were so afraid of commitment that you were basically sleeping with every girl in school.”

“Hey,” Oliver said and pinched her side lightly. “Don’t be mean. I didn’t sleep with every girl in school.”

“Oh, really?” Felicity cocked her head at him. “Name one that you didn’t sleep with.”

Oliver puckered his lips, but it didn’t last long. A wide grin snuck on his lips instead as Felicity was perking up her eyebrows.

“Well, you. Obviously.”

Felicity chuckled. “Yeah because that would be gross.”

“Totally gross,” Oliver agreed, nodding his head. “Best friends don’t sleep with each other.”

“No matter what the modern movies are trying to sell today.”

Again, Oliver nodded his head and released a long breath. He had watched enough cheesy movies with Felicity, Thea and McKenna to know that romcoms were indeed taking that turn from friends to lovers quite often. Reality just looked different from that a lot of times.

“Anyway, Felicity,” Oliver said a lot more seriously now, “I am really sorry for what happened between you and Carter. I understand if being my best woman is too much for you or-“

“Hey, no.” Felicity shook her head firmly. “I will be here with you every step of the way.”

Oliver smiled with relief. “Like you always have.”

“Like I always have,” Felicity confirmed. “And like you always have for me and like you hope you will always do for me in the future too.”

Perking up his eyebrows, Oliver cocked his head. “Are you referring to something in particular here?”

“I will move into a townhouse I just bought and I could use your help,” she said, “so do you have some time tomorrow to help me?”

“Tomorrow?” Oliver blew out a breath. “That’s quick.”

Felicity nodded slowly before she shrugged her shoulders. “You know me. I don’t like living out of my suitcase.”

“True.” Oliver nodded. “I still thought you were going to take your time before you moved somewhere new. I mean if it’s just because you don’t want to stay in a hotel, you can move in with McKenna and me for a while too.”

“Oh, that’s going to be so romantic with me lying in bed between you two at night.”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “You’d sleep in the guestroom.”

“I didn’t mean this literally anyway,” Felicity whispered back before she chuckled and shook her head. “No, really. The sooner I move forward with my life, the better. What I need now is a new place to call my home, something to build for myself. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Okay.”

Oliver just whispered the word almost under his breath. He had wondered for a brief moment whether her break-up with Carter would make her reconsider living here in Starling. She had denied that very firmly when they had spent the night together a couple of days ago, but Oliver hadn’t been sure if she had really meant it.

When Felicity had left for MIT all those years ago, it had been hard on Oliver. For weeks he had felt like he was walking around with a giant hole in his life. Before she had moved to Boston, Felicity had just always been at his side. It had been an unfamiliar feeling and it had taken him a long time to get use do it.

He had had her back for a couple of days now, but he already knew that he didn’t want to go back to having his best friend live that far away from him. He was just feeling better as long as she was here.

“So will you help me?”

“Of course I will,” Oliver assured her with a smile. “Whatever you need, I am here for you. Always.”

Felicity nodded her head and squeezed both of Oliver’s hand in a wordless gratitude. They had been friends for so long that there were no more words needed between them. Quiet gestures were everything that was needed to understand the other. They had a connection like that.

When a strand of hair loosened from Felicity’s ponytail and fell to her face, Oliver felt Felicity’s fingers loosening from his. He was quicker though. Leaning forward, he tugged the strand back behind her ear with a gentle gesture.

When his eyes found hers, he noticed that she was already looking at him. Her eyes were widened slightly and she had her bottom lip caught between her front teeth like she did so often. Without thinking about it any further, Oliver stroked his thumb over her bottom lip to free it from her front teeth.

His gaze lingered on her lips, and he could feel his thumb tickling with the desire of touching it again. Hesitatingly, he brought his thumb back closer to her lips and-

A knock at the door made both of them flinch and move apart quickly. Oliver pulled his hand back like he had just burnt himself. He still felt the prickling feeling linger on his skin, but it was different now.

Felicity didn’t look any more comfortable than he did as she was stroking her hair back with almost trembling hands. Her eyes met his briefly, but she looked away so quickly that Oliver didn’t know what she was possibly feeling or thinking.

Resting his hands flat against the tabletop, Oliver cleared his throat. Then he lifted his eyes.

“Dad,” he said with surprise when he found his father standing in the frame of the door and looking back and forth between him and Felicity. “I thought you were out to meet Ted Kord.”

“Ted had to cancel,” Robert said slowly, looking back and forth between him and Felicity once more. Though he tried to hide it, Oliver was sure he could see the slightly disapproving expression of a father who just got to know his daughter’s boyfriend in his eyes. “Do I bother?”

“No,” Felicity replied quickly, putting on a slightly nervous smile. “Absolutely not. Oliver and I just finished updating each other on what we are working on and wanted to-“

“-have wild sex on the conference table.”

Felicity shot Oliver an angry glare. When he only grinned at that though, Felicity rolled her eyes. Putting her hand to the armrest of his chair, she pushed it far away from her. The chair rolled over the marble floor to the other end of the conference table, making Oliver chuckle.

As much as Felicity tried to hold onto her anger, all Oliver had to do was wink. A smile broke through her frown, and she looked away with a shake of her head.

Oliver chuckled quietly and looked at his father, who had watched them with his arms crossed in front of his chest. From the expression in his eyes, he was still a little suspicious or whatever to call it. He was watching both of them closely, his eyes narrowed down on them.

Shaking his head, Oliver rolled his eyes. In all the years, his father had never joined in on this crazy dream of Donna and Moira that maybe one day Oliver and Felicity would suddenly discover that they had been in love all along. He better didn’t start now.

“So, everything is going okay here?” Robert asked, stepping closer into the room. “Or is there anything you need help with?”

“I think we are getting along quite well,” Felicity said and shot Oliver a brief glance. “Right?”

Oliver nodded his head in agreement. “We have already made some progress on reliving that project about the spine chip.”

“And with spine chip he means our bio-stimulant of course.”

Oliver looked at Felicity, but she just smiled innocently. Shaking his head, Oliver smiled too. He couldn’t be angry with her either. They just couldn’t be angry with each other. It was one more reason why working together worked well for them.

“And working together works well for the both of you?” Robert asked, looking back and forth between them once more. “No disagreements? No rivalry?”

“Since we are working on two completely different things,” Felicity replied with a shrug of her shoulders, “we are complementing each other rather than rivaling.”

“Just like friends should do,” Oliver added. “Really, we are working together even better than I thought we would.”

Robert smiled softly. “Luckily, I wasn’t expecting anything else.”

Oliver and Felicity shared another look, knowing exactly what Robert meant. Working with a friend could get complicated when business and friendship mixed. Luckily for them, this wasn’t the case here. They got along well in the office, so there couldn’t be any bad ramifications on their friendship.

If Oliver ever had to decide between working with Felicity and being friends with her, he would gladly leave the company to her and find something else to do. He could live without QC, but he couldn’t live without his best friend.

“Now, since things are going so well, why don’t we all go out to lunch together?” Robert asked. “I’ll invite you.”

Oliver pursed his lips. He had an appointment at The Geek Squad that he didn’t want to miss. He couldn’t tell either of them where he was going though and John couldn’t serve as his alibi this time around either. He had taken a few days off to go on a short vacation with his family. Since he was working for Robert, Oliver was sure that his father was very aware of that.

For a short moment, Oliver wondered if now was the right time to tell them the truth. He knew there was nothing he had to fear and both of them would keep this secret for him if he told them that he didn’t want anyone to know. He might not get another chance at telling them so easily anytime soon.

“I would love to,” Felicity said before Oliver could decide what to do, “but I promised Tatsu to pick up Akari from school today.”

Oliver almost released a low breath of relief. Now might have been the perfect time to tell them, but he hadn’t been really ready for that yet if he was being completely honest. He had kept this secret for so long now and he was happy about the way things were going there. He didn’t want anything about it to change.

“What about you, Oliver?” Robert asked. “Time to have lunch with your old man?”

“Sorry,” Oliver replied with a sigh, shaking his head. “I am busy too.”

“Okay.” Robert nodded his head. “Then I guess we will do this some other time.”

“Gladly.” Felicity replied. “But I insist on a good steakhouse or at least a restaurant where I don’t have to search for my food with a magnifier.”

“I would never dare to invite you anywhere else.” Robert winked at Felicity the way Oliver always did before he knocked his fist against the frame of the door. “I’ll see you two soon.”

Oliver lifted his hand to a brief wave. As soon as his father had disappeared, he glanced at his watch though. Knowing the traffic during lunchtime, Oliver decided it was probably better to leave early. He straightened up in his chair quickly and piled up the papers he had brought here with him.

He was excited to go back to The Geek Squad. There was a new girl that was going to introduce herself today. She’d come by with her godmother to take a look at the program they offered. Hopefully, he was going to convince her of joining The Geek Squad.

When Oliver had piled up his papers, he was about to grab the pile and get up to leave. The moment he turned to Felicity, ready to tell her goodbye for the day, he noticed that she was watching him though. She was leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her head cocked at hi  slightly.

Oliver frowned. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you going out for this secret stuff again?”

As much as he tried to hide a grin, Oliver wasn’t able to. The fact that Felicity just knew that he was going there again made him smile. She just knew him so well, better than anyone else he guessed.

“I am,” he confirmed after a moment. “I have stuff to do there.”

“Secret stuff at your secret hobby in a secret place.”

Oliver shot her another brief glance, smiling. “That are a lot of secrets indeed, but they will stay secret for a while.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “You still won’t tell me what you are doing there?”

“No.” Oliver shook his head. “Not yet.”

Maybe not ever he added in his thoughts, but he kept that part to himself. He couldn’t really see himself sharing this secret with anyone yet. Of course it was possible that this would change one day. For now, he liked it the way it was though.

“But you are going to tell me one day, right?”

With a sigh, Oliver got up on his feet. He lifted the pile of papers into his arms and started walking to the door. He was well aware that Felicity was following him with her eyes. He wouldn’t get around answering.

Only in the frame of the door, Oliver turned back around to Felicity. Just like he had known already, she was indeed still looking at him. Nosiness was written all over her face.

“I might tell you one day,” Oliver replied with a sigh. “Just not yet.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him even more. “I could just hack your phone or your laptop or both and figure this out all by myself.”

“I know you could,” Oliver replied, his voice showing no doubt since there wasn’t any. He knew Felicity’s skills, and she could easily hack him. “I just trust you enough to assume that you won’t do it.”

At that, Felicity’s eyes softened. She angled her head even more to the side as a soft smile spread on her lips. Warmth was sparkling in her eyes.

“You can trust me,” she promised. “Always.”

“I know I can.”

He really knew he could. He had never told a person as much about his life as he had told Felicity. She was the one who knew him the best because he had always told her so much about himself. Felicity had always been the person he had known he could trust.

To say Oliver was lucky to have her was an underestimation. He knew he could never find a better best friend. He would never meet another person like her, someone he could so easily be himself around without ever feeling uncomfortable.

Besides, having Felicity as a friend was much better than having her as an enemy. With her skills, she could destroy a person in a heartbeat.

“I gotta go now,” Oliver said eventually. “I will see you tomorrow to help you move.”

“Thanks.” Felicity smiled. “And have fun doing your secret stuff.”

“I will.”

Oliver had already taken a few steps when he got slower and eventually stopped completely. He thought back to the moment he had shared with Felicity before his father had interrupted. He didn’t know what had gotten into him in that moment, but he knew that it had made Felicity feel uncomfortable and he couldn’t say that he was feeling at ease thinking about it either.

Pursing his lips, Oliver turned back around and stepped into the frame of the door once more. Felicity was just grabbing her stuff to leave too. When she saw him standing there again, she stopped to just look at him though.

“Forgot something?”

Oliver hesitated briefly, but soon the words blurted out of him. “Are we okay?”

Felicity frowned like she had no idea what he was talking about. Oliver shot her a meaningful gaze, dipping his head forward slightly. He doubted that this was actually helping, but Felicity seemed to know what he was referring too. Of course she knew. She knew him like that.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity lowered her eyes. She stroked her hands over the cover of her file like she needed to smooth out any wrinkles that were in the paper. Oliver knew that she was just trying to busy herself though. She needed time to think about her answer.

“Do you remember that day you convinced me to go skating with you and I fell on my butt so hard that one time that there were little scratches quite high on the back of my thigh?”

“Of course I do.” Oliver tried to hide a grin. “I felt terrible for convincing you to do that.”

“I hope you did because those bruises hurt,” Felicity replied, her voice soft. “Anyway, when we were home, I tried to apply that gel to the back of my thigh, but I couldn’t reach the right spot without hurting myself even more because I was already terribly sore.”

Oliver nodded his head. “I was the one who did it for you.”

How could he ever forget that awkward moment when he had had to touch his best friend’s butt? He had barely been able to look Felicity in the eyes the rest of the day because it had just been so weird.

“And you ask me if it made me uncomfortable that you touched my cheek?”

Again, Oliver nodded his head slowly since Felicity was right. He didn’t even know why he was making such a fuss about that little touch of before. It wasn’t like he had never touched Felicity’s cheek before.

“I mean what do you think should have happened?” Felicity asked. “That I’d freak out because you touched my cheek? Or that I fall madly in love with you all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, certainly not.” Oliver shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I am honestly not sure what I thought would happen. I am just glad that we are okay. I- I guess I will go now.”

Felicity nodded her head, not saying another word. Oliver just shot her one more smile and left.

 

* * *

 

“Hi, Ollie.”

Oliver had trouble not to groan. If there was one thing that bothered him about The Geek Squad, it was the fact that Carrie Cutter was working here. She always seemed to be flirting with him and it was just annoying.

Of course Oliver knew that he could just fire Carrie. The problem was just that she was really good with the kids. Firing her would take away a weekly annoyance for him, but it would also make a lot of the girls that were learning here sad.

“Hi, Carrie,” Oliver said, biting back a sigh. He put the plans for a possible expansion of The Geek Squad into the topmost drawer of his desk and folded his hands on the tabletop. “How’s it going today?”

“It’s quiet.” Carrie shrugged her shoulders, leaning into the door. “A few girls told me they have some tests coming up, so I guess they have to cut back on there time here a little bit.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yeah, I remember.”

A lot of girls couldn’t come here regularly because their parents couldn’t or maybe just didn’t support them as much as necessary. They came here when they found the time, but often their lives were too busy and too unpredictable for regular visits.

Oliver wished there was something he could do to support those families at home too. Apart from sex and race, he was sure that the familial background was an important factor for success in school and career. Parents’ support was just too important to not be a factor.

Since Oliver wasn’t too proud to admit it, he could honestly say that his family was the main reason why he had been able to make something of himself. When Oliver had been lazy or disrespectful at school, his parents had kicked his ass. When his grades had become bad, his parents had made sure he was repeating the stuff. When Oliver hadn’t understood something new, they had asked Felicity to explain it to him.

Smiling, Oliver shook his head. Even during the time that Felicity had still been one grade behind him, she had been able to help him through his classes.

“Given how quiet it is, maybe we could drink a mug of coffee together,” Carrie suggested eventually. “I mean when else do we get the time to really get to know each other?”

Oliver had to bite down on his tongue to not start laughing or ask Carrie if she was being serious. It was one thing to flirt with your boss when he was single, but Oliver had never hidden the fact that he was taken. He hadn’t dived deeper into it because he was trying to separate between The Geek Squad and everything out of it when it came to his personal life, but it was no secret that there was someone in his life.

Carrie’s unashamed attempt of asking him out on a coffee date was just cheeky.

“Actually, I-“

“Mr. Smoak?”

Oliver almost released a sigh of relief when Rosalie stepped into the frame of the door behind Carrie. She smiled warmly like she always did. In some way, she reminded Oliver of Raisa, so he wasn’t surprised that he felt absolutely comfortable around her.

“Is our newest prospect already here?”

“Yes.” Rosalie nodded, still smiling. There was a little bit of confusion in her eyes though as she added, “Ms. Smoak just arrived with her.”

“Ms. Smoak?”

Carrie looked at him with a frown. Apparently, she had processed this news a lot more quickly than he himself had.

In these four walls of The Geek Squad, he had been Mr. Smoak. He had lived with his name here for so long that the bare mention of a Ms. Smoak should be weird to him. On the other hand, he had honored Felicity’s smartness and everything she had achieved from the very moment he had decided to build The Geek Squad. Hearing that she or any Ms. Smoak was here just felt so natural to him at the same time.

It was a weird feeling to be so torn between feeling absolutely familiar and comfortable with this situation and feeling like it was so irrational at the same time. It was hard to describe.

“Is that your wife?” Carrie asked when Oliver didn’t answer. “Are you married?”

Oliver released a sound that could mean anything. It could be a confirmation. It could be a negation. He wasn’t ready to answer. He wasn’t even sure if he really understood what was happening right now.

“They are waiting for you at the reception.”

With a nod of his head, Oliver got up from his chair. His thoughts were still spinning when he followed Rosalie aside and down the hallway to the reception. Was Felicity really here?

The question answered itself the moment he turned around the corner. Felicity was standing at the reception, looking through a flyer about The Geek Squad. Her eyes were narrowed down slightly. A young girl, Akari he guessed, was standing next to her, an excited smile on her lips as she looked around the foyer.

For the break of a second, Oliver wondered if Felicity had hacked him after all. He knew that she could easily do so. It wouldn’t take her long or demand a lot from her. She could basically do it on the way from her office to her elevator. She was that good.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, as quickly it faded away again though. If there was one person in his life that he trusted blindly, it was Felicity. He knew she would never cross a line like that, especially when she had promised him not to do so only an hour ago. She was the best friend he could have, so of course she wouldn’t do something like that.

It had to be a coincidence that Felicity was here, and he guessed that the girl by her side was the very reason for that. Oliver didn’t know much about Akari. What he did knew was that her mother had been at MIT with Felicity before she had given birth and that Akari lived in the Glades with her mother. From what Felicity as her absolutely unbiased godmother – she herself had pointed that out – had told him, Akari was a really smart girl.

“Ms. Smoak,” Rosalie addressed Felicity when Oliver stayed silent, just staring at his best friend. “Mr. Smoak is now ready to talk to you.”

Felicity shot a smile at Rosalie. Her eyes turned to Oliver briefly before she looked at Rosalie once more, and Oliver could have pinpointed the very moment that she had processed who she had just seen there. Her eyes widened slightly as she turned back to stare at him.

A long moment of silence passed. Oliver wondered how he was going to handle this situation now. He hadn’t been prepared to share this secret with her. He hadn’t even been sure if he should tell her or anyone at all.

It didn’t take long for Oliver to realize that he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable about it because he had never had any reason to feel uncomfortable around Felicity. She had always been the one person in his life who had accepted him and supported him no matter what. So he wasn’t uncomfortable. He was nervous at most because there was no way that Felicity could miss who had inspired him for this project. The name of this building as well as the name he had used to hide his real identity was as revealing to her as it possibly could be.

With Carrie still in the back of his neck, trying to take a look over his shoulder at Felicity, Oliver figured that maybe this was a happy chance for him.

“Felicity, Hon.”

Felicity looked slightly confused about the way he addressed her. There was a small cringe between her eyebrows that told him so, but Oliver doubted that the others could see it. They didn’t know Felicity as well as he did.

Oliver crossed the distance to Felicity quickly. Putting his hands to her hips, he brushed his lips against the shell of her ear and whispered, “Please play along. I need help here.”

Stepping next to her, Oliver wrapped one arm around her slim waist. Felicity was still staring at him, even more confused now he guessed. With the slightest of a nod towards Carrie, who was watching them intently, he tried to tell her what was going on. Felicity seemed to catch up quickly because, with only one brief glance at the nosy redhead, she leaned into his side with a warm smile.

“Hey.” She put a hand to his chest and rubbed her hand over his heart. “I hope I don’t inconvenience you.”

“You inconveniencing me?” Oliver winked at her. “Never.”

Oliver and Felicity smiled at each other. He hoped that she knew how grateful she was that she was playing along. She had to have a thousand questions about this. Yet here she was, helping him about something she didn’t even know fully about. She was just as remarkable as she had always been.

Clearing her throat, Felicity eventually leaned a little away from him. She reached out her hand for the girl she had brought with her and pulled her in front of her.

“Oliver, you didn’t get around meeting my good friend Akari yet,” she told him, a proud smile on her lips. “She is quite smart.”

“I just love mathematics,” Akari said, shrugging her shoulders. “And biology and tech. And chemistry.”

Oliver shot Felicity a brief smile. He guessed she and Akari were a lot alike. At least these last five seconds made it sound like it.

Getting down on his knees, Oliver brought his face on one level with Akari. With a smile on his lips, he reached out his hand. Akari looked at it briefly and took in a deep breath before she put her much smaller hand into his and shook it.

“Hi, Akari,” Oliver said. “I am Oliver Queen.”

“I am Akari.” She faltered briefly. “But you already knew that.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yes, I do.”

With a shy smile, Akari leaned back against Felicity, who wrapped her arms around Akari from behind. Oliver met her eyes briefly and smiled even wider when he saw Felicity smiling at him.

“So, you like science, Akari?”

Akari nodded her head. “Yeah. A lot.”

“That’s cool, and it’s a good thing you are here then because we love science here too.” Oliver tapped his fingers against Akari’s heart playfully before he shot a look back at where Carrie was standing. “This is my colleague Carrie. She is going to show you around here. If you find something that you are interested in and that you want to try, feel free to do so.”

When Carrie stepped closer, Akari shot a look at Felicity. “Can I go with her?”

Felicity smiled and nodded her head. “It’s why we are here. You go and have fun. I’ll be here when you want to leave.”

Side by side, Oliver and Felicity watched Akari leave with Carrie. The little girl shot another look back at Felicity like she wanted to make sure that she wasn’t going to leave. Only when Felicity smiled and winked at her, Akari took another deep breath and left.

When Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver, he didn’t say a word. He just laced his fingers with hers and tugged at her hand. He led her to his office, pushed her through the door and stepped in right after her.

The moment Oliver had closed the door behind them, still wondering what exactly to tell Felicity now, she was already right in front of him.

“What is all of this?” she asked him. “When did you build this? Why did you build this? How did you even get the idea? And why does nobody know about this? Or does someone know about this? But if someone knew about it, why would you use some other name? And why are you using my name of all the names possible?”

Felicity continued to fire questions at him, but she didn’t give him any time to answer even a single one of it. She just asked more and more questions. Meanwhile Oliver was trying to remember all of them, so he could answer them once Felicity allowed him to speak.

For now, that didn’t seem to be the case though.

Oliver waited patiently, taking his time to just watch Felicity. From the expression in her eyes, he was almost sure that she was at least a little bit excited about this. She might be confused, the deep cringe between her eyebrows proved that to him, but there was a sparkle of excitement and amazement in her eyes.

It was all the knowledge Oliver needed to feel safe about talking to Felicity. Since she just continued babbling, he put a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“Felicity.”

Felicity fell silent immediately. She took in one deep breath of air and pressed her lips together. With still wide eyes, she waited for him to answer her.

“I-“ Oliver pursed his lips, briefly wondering where to start with telling her. “A few years ago, I read another article about the Glades. There was a lot of focus on how the children growing up here, especially girls, had little to no chance of making something of themselves.”

Felicity nodded. She knew as well as he did what the Glades were like. Since she had spent a lot of time at the Queen Mansion with him, she certainly remembered the conversations his father had had with his friends about the Glades too. Oliver wasn’t the first in the Queen Family, who hoped to make some change here.

“Later that day, I overheard our mothers talking in the living room. Donna was talking about you and how proud she is of you.”

Smiling softly, Felicity lowered her gaze briefly. As much as she loved to talk about how smart she was, she still reacted almost a little bit shy when people acknowledged it, especially Donna. Mother and daughter hadn’t always been the best friends. They hadn’t even gotten along very well. Felicity had felt like her mother, who was so different from her, just didn’t understand her. At least when it came to her intellect and her interests, Felicity was taking a lot after her father.

“Your mother mentioned that, if it hadn’t been for my family, you and your mother might have ended up in an area like the Glades or maybe even worse.” Oliver remembered stopping dead in his tracks after he had heard that, imagining Felicity in some dark alley with dodgy guys. “And I realized that there might be girls out there who are incredibly smart, but they just aren’t given a chance to show that. Their talents get lost because they don’t come from a nice house in the suburb.”

Oliver shook his head. He had once been to a school here in the Glades to advertise for The Geek Squad. A lot of teachers were over challenged with handling the kids and surrendering. Many of them seemed to have given up hope on their students, and Oliver didn’t think that anyone could hold it against them. Kids mirrored what they saw in their environment. Kids of the Glades grew up in an environment of violence, so that was what they were mirroring a lot of times.

“I mean knowing how smart you are and how determined you have always been to make something of yourself and to learn so much more, I think you might have made it on your own.” Oliver nodded slowly like he needed to reassure himself and reassure her that he really meant it. “You would have probably managed to make it to the top of a company anyway. It would have just been more exhausting, and it would have probably taken some more time.”

“Or maybe I wouldn’t have made it?”

Oliver didn’t falter. “That wouldn’t have been possible.”

Felicity was touched by his words. Her eyes glazed over and she lowered her eyes for a moment. Oliver grabbed her hand. When he squeezed it gently, Felicity locked her eyes back with his.

“I know that this world is going to be better with you as a CEO of Queen Consolidated. If someone will make a change in this world or leave some meaningful footprints, it’s going to be you,” he said with certain voice because it was exactly what he was thinking and feeling. “The only thing I can do is trying to make sure that even more girls will have a chance of leaving their footprints on this earth in a good way.”

While a comfortable silence was spreading between them, Oliver’s thumb rubbed back and forth over the back of Felicity’s hand. She had lowered her eyes to the floor once more. Although Oliver was desperate to hear what she was thinking, he didn’t push. He could see from her frown that she needed time to think about this herself first.

Oliver’s heart was beating frantically in his chest. With every beat, his heart pounded against his ribs so firmly that Oliver almost felt like it would crack them. He was holding his breath, so he didn’t make any other sound that could make him overhear whatever Felicity would say. He was almost sure that she could hear his heartbeat too.

Finally, Felicity lifted her gaze back at him. The crinkle between her eyebrows had deepened even more.

“The Geek Squad? Mr. Smoak?” She shook her head slightly like she couldn’t find the right words. “Why?”

“Because of you of course,” Oliver said matter-of-factly. “Felicity, you helped me turn into the person I am today. I know you always respected me the way that I was and you never really wanted me to change, but you inspired me. That changed me, turned me into someone better. It’s why our friendship always worked so well.”

The corners of Felicity’s lips twitched before a smile spread there.

“The Geek Squad is my way of giving back some of what you gave me,” Oliver added. “This world gave me the best friend I could possibly have. Now I am giving the world something back for that. Since this was a sign of my gratefulness, I didn’t want the media or my mother to make a big fuss about this. When I was thinking about a codename, yours was the first that came to my mind. Honoring all of this to you always felt like the right thing to do. Besides, you are going to bring a lot of success to the name Queen by working for Queen Consolidated. It’s only fair that I will help your name to be recognized a little more too.”

For a long moment, Felicity’s eyes stayed locked on his. When she looked away, she was blinking several times. It didn’t keep Oliver from seeing the tears that were welling in her eyes though. She released a breathless chuckle when she finally looked at him again.

“Wow,” she whispered. With another chuckle, she punched her fist against his chest playfully. “If your vows to McKenna is going to be half as meaningful as the speech you just gave me, I swear you will make everyone cry.”

Oliver needed a moment to process the sudden change of mood and subject. He guessed Felicity didn’t exactly know how to deal with the situation either, so she did what she could do best. She was using humor to cover her insecurity.

Squeezing her hand, Oliver replied, “Let’s hope I will be able top this at all.”

“Of course you will.” Felicity smiled. “Talking about someone you love so deeply always adds a particularly emotional note to it. It will work like that.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly. Felicity was probably right. At least he hoped she was right. So far, whenever he had tried to think about his vows, his head had been all empty. Maybe it was just the pressure of knowing that everyone would listen to those vows that made it so hard to find the right words.

As long as it was just him and Felicity, it was different. He knew that, even if he expressed himself completely wrong, she would understand. Felicity always did.

“How did you even find this place?” Oliver asked eventually. “I mean why did you come here out of all the places possible?”

“I was looking for something near Akari’s home, so she could go there as often as possible.” Felicity chuckled. “The fact that a secretive Mr. Smoak had started this project had just felt like a sign for me.”

“I guess it was,” Oliver replied. “I am really happy you found this place.”

“Although it means that I found out about your secret?”

Oliver nodded. “I am glad you found out about it. I don’t like to keep secrets from you. I don’t like that we are keeping secret from each other.”

“Yeah, neither do I.”

Felicity’s answer had only come after a beat of hesitation. As short as that moment had been, Oliver hadn’t missed it. Something told him that they weren’t as honest with each other yet as he had thought they were.

Before Oliver got to ask about it, there was a knock at the door though.

Oliver shot another brief look at Felicity, considering to ask her about it, but Felicity was already pulling her hand from his and taking a step back. There was no use in asking her about it now. She wouldn’t tell him the truth because the trustful atmosphere with just the two of them was over.

“Yes?” Oliver said when there was another knock. “Come in.”

Rosalie stuck her head into the door. She smiled warmly like she always did as she looked back and forth between Oliver and Felicity.

“I am sorry to interrupt you,” she said, “but Akari saw everything and is ready to go now.”

Oliver frowned. “Already?”

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. “I got the impression that she really liked what she saw, but she might be a little tired.”

“She had an exhausting day at school,” Felicity told Oliver, putting a hand to her forearm. “I considered delaying our visit here, but she was too excited.”

“Well, then let’s asks her when she wants to come back,” Oliver suggested, “and then you get her home to relax a little.”

Felicity nodded, smiling at him. “Sounds like a good plan.”

When they arrived back at the foyer where Carrie and Akari were already waiting, Oliver got what Felicity had meant. Akari looked like she was about to fall asleep right there. Her lids seemed to be tired as her eyes were barely opened. She blinked several times when Felicity stepped closer to her. As soon as she recognized her, she smiled though.

“How did you like The Geek Squad?” Felicity asked her. “Did you enjoy it?”

“It’s cool.” Despite her tiredness, there was excitement shining through her voice. “I love it here.”

“That’s good.” Oliver smiled proudly. “You are always welcomed here. Whenever you want to come by, the door is open for you.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Oliver promised and winked at her. “And if you ever need someone to pick you up at home or to take you back, you call Felicity. She has my number. If Felicity can’t do it, I will do it for you.”

“You are nice.”

Oliver chuckled. “I am trying.”

When Akari yawned heartedly, Felicity chuckled. Stroking her hand over Akari’s dark hair, she pulled the keys of her car from the pocket of her coat.

“Akari, you go ahead to the car. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Nodding her head, Akari took the keys and already walked to the door. Oliver and Felicity exchanged a look, and they both had troubles to contain their laughter. Sleepy kids could be quite funny it seemed.

“Bye, Carrie,” Akari said at the door, turning back around once more. “Bye, Oliver.”

“See you soon,” Oliver replied, while Carrie just lifted her hand for a brief wave. “And get some rest.”

Yawning once more, Akari nodded her head. She didn’t say anything else though as she just turned towards the door and left.

Oliver couldn’t hold onto his chuckle any longer. He turned to Felicity, who was chuckling and shaking her head too.

Just when Oliver wanted to ask if she was getting along with Akari on her own or if Oliver should join them, so he could carry Akari into her bed, the expression on Felicity’s face changed. Glancing at something or someone behind him, she stepped closer towards him.

“What’s the deal about that redhead?” she asked in a whisper. “She’s staring at us.”

Oliver groaned. He didn’t have to look back over his shoulder to check what she meant. He knew Carrie long enough to know exactly how she was looking at them right now.

“I fear she’s into me,” Oliver whispered as quietly as he could. “She’s been trying to flirt with me since I hired her. No matter how many times I tell her that I am in a relationship, she continues to flirt with me.”

“Oh poor Oliver Queen,” Felicity whispered, an amused grin on her lips. “He’s just too handsome for the world.”

Oliver pinched her side, but he pulled her into his arms in the next moment already. While they were hugging and swaying from side to side slightly, Felicity rubbed her hands over Oliver’ back. The warmth of her skin sought through his clothes.

“I think I got an idea how to shut Carrie up eventually.”

Oliver whispered the words into Felicity’s ear, still not sure if he should follow up on that. When Felicity started to lean back and out of the hug, Oliver made a quick decision though. The moment Felicity had leaned her head back enough, so they could look at each other, he leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss.

It was supposed to stop Carrie from flirting with him ever again. The moment his lips touched Felicity’s, all thoughts about Carrie vanished from his mind though. All thoughts he had had the break of a second ago were just like erased. His head felt empty like he didn’t know the meaning of a single word anymore.

Everything inside of him was focused on the feeling of Felicity’s lips against his. They felt even softer and fuller than they looked. It made his entire body tingle in the best way possible. Heat pooled in his stomach and spread through his body.

Oliver had to suck in a deep breath to stop this feeling from taking over completely. It only caused him to breathe in the sweet scent of Felicity’s skin though. The familiarity of it made the tingle inside of him only increase more. Another wave of heat rushed through his veins. He felt like he was running a fever, a fever that made want to open his mouth and pull her bottom lip between his so badly.

Before his fever pushed him to cross a boundary that would make it hard to come back from, Felicity pulled back though. Her eyes were widened as she looked at him with intense eyes. Her pupils were blown wide and she was panting through slightly opened lips.

Oliver gulped, unsure what to say. From the way she was looking at him, Oliver was sure that whatever had just happened inside of him, Felicity either knew about it or she had felt it too. And something told him that the feeling had nothing to do with the awkwardness of kissing your best friend.

“I gotta go now,” Felicity whispered eventually. “Akari is waiting for me.”

Oliver gulped once more. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, but he regretted it the moment he noticed the sweet taste of Felicity’s lips on his. Oliver had to clear his throat to be even able to say a single word.

“Sure.” His voice was so low that he was surprised that Felicity could hear him. “Bye, Felicity.”

They continued looking at each other for another long moment, neither of them saying a word. Oliver was holding his breath, unable to breathe. Everything inside of him was still focused on Felicity, almost like there was just the two of them on this earth right now.

Soon, too soon probably, Felicity stepped back though. His hands fell away from around her waist. She lowered her eyes, breaking eye contact. All of a sudden, Oliver became aware that there was so much more to the earth than just the two of them. Starting with his fiancée.

“Bye, Oliver.”

It was the last thing Felicity said, her voice raspy and barely audible, before she turned around and left. Oliver looked after her, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting his tongue swipe over his lips again. Her taste there was already gone though.

Oliver still had troubles processing what had just happened. Too much had happened in the last half and hour or such since he had left his office to meet another interested girl. He hadn’t been prepared for any of it and it just confused him.

When Carrie stepped closer to him, Oliver muscles tensed slightly. He was still looking at the door where Felicity had just disappeared. Though he couldn’t see her anymore, it was almost like he could still feel her here.

“You make a really nice couple,” Carrie said a little sourly. “I have to say that.”

In the past, Oliver had always denied that he and Felicity could ever be anything more than friends. Even now he felt the urge to make clear that he and Felicity were just friends. He knew he couldn’t do so now though, not if he wanted to keep Carrie away from him.

Clearing his throat, Oliver finally turned his gaze away from the door. He looked at Carrie only briefly before he turned to the hallway that led to his office.

“Thank you,” he said between clenched jaws. “I have some work to do. See you.”

With that, he disappeared into his office. Closing the door behind himself, he leaned back against it and closed his eyes for a moment. He thought back to the kiss and all the ways it had made him feel.

A chuckle rose inside of his throat soon though. Shaking his head, he rubbed his hands over his face and went behind his desk. He guessed he really needed John to come back, so they could train together again. His head was always going crazy when it was too busy and got too little compensation.

He and Felicity had been friends since they were kids. No faked kiss and no whatever would change anything about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Wednesday, I am going on my first solo-trip. I'll stay in Spain for one week, all by myself in a nice hotel at the beach of Jandía Playa in Fuerteventura. I will probably take my laptop with me, hoping to find my muse when I am drinking Mojitos while I am watching the sunset. My muse really tries to hide from me lately.
> 
> Anyway, what I am really trying to say is this: Because of my vacation, I won't be able to update the next two Wednesdays. Fear not, my friends! I won't hold back the updates for too long. I will just shift the posting a little. Here are the release dates for the next three chapters:
> 
> 9 - 07/16/2019 (Tuesday)  
> 10 - 07/25/2019 (Thursday)  
> 11 - 07/31/2019 (Wednesday)


	9. Eudaimonia

_= The deepest kind of fulfillment that is often comprising a flourishing work and love life (Ancient Greek)_

 

“Keep your head in the game, Oliver.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and gritted his teeth. He knew that John was right. He had to keep his head in the game, so he did his best to focus on the punching bag his friend was holding for him. He tensed his muscles and used as much force as possible to hit it, one punch harder than the next.

_Harder. Harder. Harder._

He repeated those words in his mind again and again like that alone would help him to focus back on the training. Although he really tried to make himself believe that, he doubted that it would make much of a difference. Repeating those words as often as he could would not help him to erase the memories that were still clinging to him and making it hard to stay in the exercise at hand.

Indeed, Oliver was right about that. Soon the sigh of the punching bag blurred in front of his eyes and all he could see was Felicity’s face. It was so close to him that he could even see what was left of the small scar at her chin where she had needed stitches after she had fallen from the ladder to their treehouse when she had been twelve. Her pupils were widened slightly as she looked at him.

All his senses were occupied by her presence. He could see that scar on her chin and the change in her eyes. He could smell the sweet scent of her skin mixing with her flowery parfum that matched her in a way Oliver couldn’t describe. He could feel the softness of her skin where his hands were cupping her cheeks and he could feel her rapid heartbeat against his ribs where their chests were pressed together. He could hear her breath hitching before it stopped altogether the moment that he leaned in to kiss her.

Gritting his teeth even harder, Oliver tensed his muscles and used even more force to punch against the punching bag. He had to focus.

“You are wasting energy there, man,” John told him. “Fasten your stand. Move more from the hip. Ease your arms.”

Oliver tried to do exactly what John was telling him, but he just knew that he was bound to fail. No matter how much he was trying to focus on John’s instructions, it just didn’t work.

Like so often in the past seventeen hours since he had kissed Felicity at The Geek Squad, he found himself thinking back to it. Whether he wanted it or not, those memories just continued to come back to him. Images of that one second between making the decision to kiss her and the moment their lips had brushed together as well as those three seconds of kissing her were flashing in front of his inner eye.

He just couldn’t get it out of his head, and Oliver didn’t even understand why. He had just kissed her as a ruse to fool Carrie. That has been it.

Or that had been supposed to be it.

Groaning, Oliver punched the punching bag one last time before he turned away. He took several steps away, bumping his gloved fists together a couple of times.

“Your form today is even worse than the last weeks which means a lot. You have slipped a little since you have gotten engaged. You do know that the usual custom is to let oneself go only after the wedding, right?”

Oliver didn’t answer to that though he knew that John was right. His form had slipped quite a bit these last weeks. It had nothing to do with his engagement with McKenna though. There had just been a lot going on in his life these past weeks. While he had done his best to save time for training, he hadn’t always managed to implement his plans. He had cut his runs short a lot of times and might have skipped one or two training sessions. His regular trip to Big Belly Burgers with Felicity hadn’t helped either.

Opening the hook and loop fastener of his gloves with his teeth, Oliver sat down on the small bench at the wall. He threw both of his boxing gloves away and grabbed his bottle of water. He lifted it to his lips to drink a few sips before he noticed that he wasn’t thirsty at all, so he poured it over his head instead. The cool water did little to clear his head, but it felt good to him nonetheless.

With closed eyes, Oliver leaned his head back against the wall. He was tired, maybe because of the training or maybe because he had lain awake all night to think about that kiss and a million other things too. Maybe it was both. He wasn’t sure and it didn’t really matter either.

When John sat down next to him, Oliver turned his head and blinked at him through one eye. John was looking at him without saying a word. He didn’t have to say a word though because the look on his face was enough for Oliver to know that John was just waiting for him to answer his question.

Releasing a deep breath, Oliver lowered his face and stared at his feet for a moment. He knew that, if there was one person that he could trust with what had happened, it was John. He could keep a secret and he wouldn’t turn this into something it wasn’t. Aside from Felicity, he was his best friend.

Oliver just wasn’t sure that there was anything to talk about in the first place.

He had kissed Felicity to get rid of Carrie. Since there was a lot going on in his life – starting with this new position as Junior CEO over his engagement up to Felicity moving back here, getting engaged and breaking that engagement again – he was just confused about what had happened. Kissing your best friend was just bound to be confusing.

Nobody kissed their best friend after all and there was a good reason for that.

“John, how did you know that Lyla was the one?”

Oliver finally lifted his gaze to look at John’s face, and he regretted it immediately. John looked at him with surprise on his face, his eyebrows perked up. Though he caught himself quickly and chuckled, Oliver hadn’t missed that expression.

“Are you getting cold feet now?”

As much as Oliver wanted to deny and just say that John was crazy because of course he wasn’t getting cold feet, he just didn’t get the words over his lips. They were formed in his head, but they got stuck in his throat. He wanted to say them, but something inside of him fought the urge to do so.

When he looked at John this time, his friend seemed to have his facial expression more under control. He was looking at Oliver with quiet in his eyes, just waiting for him to tell him what exactly was going on.

Oliver knew it was one of the best traits of John. He might have a lot of thoughts on things that were happening around him or things people said, but he barely ever judged.

“I am just wondering sometimes.”

He whispered the words as quietly as possible. He knew how much could change if he said them too loud. Oliver hadn’t come to a conclusion yet. He hadn’t even really wondered for long yet. Because of that he didn’t want to make it sound like he had any doubts. He didn’t have doubts. He really was just wondering – wondering how he had become a guy that wanted to get married and wondering why he had suddenly decided to get married.

It really had nothing to do with doubts.

“I- I just- I-“

Oliver released a long breath and lowered his head. He scratched his fingers over his scalp and closed his eyes.

The day Oliver had decided to propose to McKenna had been the very same day his father had told him that Felicity would think about his offer to work at Queen Consolidated. It had always been the first thing he remembered when he thought back to his decision. Oliver didn’t know why.

Or maybe he did know why. He had just been so furious about it. The fact that she had said that she would _think_ about it had just gotten under his skin in a way that he hadn’t expected, probably because he hadn’t expected Felicity to take time for that decision in the first place. He had honestly believed that she’d drop everything she had been working on and decide to come back to Starling and her mother and ultimately him.

He guessed her decision had just prompted him to rethink his own decisions for the future. Felicity had been strong enough to make profound decisions for her future by withstanding the temptation of going back to her past just because she had once been happy there. She hadn’t let her memories allure her and had instead looked at what she had now and could possibly have in the future.

Oliver had done the same. He had sat down and thought about what was really working in his life. His relationship with McKenna had been such a thing. He had never been in a relationship for as long as he had been with her. Being with McKenna was easy and good. It was something in his life that could certainly go on like that.

He might have never considered getting married to her before that day, but that had just been because he hadn’t felt ready. Pushing himself out of his comfort zone a little hadn’t been necessarily bad though. He had had to get ready eventually, and he guessed that that time was now.

Of course he could have waited longer and longer until he had been sure, but why? Oliver’s life with McKenna was a good one, so why would he possibly want to change it? Why shouldn’t he settle for it?

At some point he guessed he just had to take that step and maybe even think about having kids. His parents would be more than delighted to become grandparents. They had been bugging him about it a couple of times already, especially with how much he and McKenna had urged for their wedding to take place soon.

The thought of having kids scared him and he didn’t want that right now, but down that line he guessed he did. In a few years. Eventually.

“I think I just haven’t slept enough,” Oliver said eventually and released a long breath. “I am just tired.”

With that, Oliver grabbed his towel and dried his face from the mix of water and sweat there. He rubbed it over his skin a little bit more firmly than necessary maybe, but he just needed that right now.

Oliver could still feel John’s eyes him, but he didn’t dare to lift his gaze just yet. He was too ashamed about what he had said and what he had been thinking. He had decided to get married to McKenna, and he’d live up to the promise he had made by proposing to her. Even a sleepless night couldn’t apologize this.

When Oliver eventually check for John’s gaze, he was grabbing his own towel and drying the sweat from the back of his neck though. He didn’t look at him any longer.

Getting up on his feet, Oliver sighed. He threw his towel over his shoulder and grabbed his bottle of water.

“You are leaving already?”

Oliver nodded. “I promised Felicity to help her move into her new townhouse.”

The thought of seeing Felicity again elicited mixed feelings inside of him. He was always happy to see her. She was his best friend after all. After that kiss, he was worried that it would get awkward between them though. He had seen in her eyes that she had been just as confused as he had been.

Maybe he should cancel for today.

Oliver shook his head at that thought. He was sure if anything was going to clear his head, it was talking to Felicity. When they were together, they could talk about what had happened and finally laugh about it. They would just add it to the long list of funny memories they shared the way it was supposed to be.

“See you tomorrow.”

With that, Oliver turned around and walked towards the door. His hand was already wrapped around the door handle when John held him back.

“Oliver?”

Oliver pursed his lips and bit down on his tongue. He had really hoped that his friend would spare him whatever he felt he needed to say. Still, Oliver turned back around to him with perked up eyebrows.

“Word of advice?” John asked, but he didn’t wait for the answer. “If you aren’t sure, you shouldn’t do it.”

Of course John was right. He usually was. It didn’t matter though.

“I am sure,” Oliver said and was almost surprised how firm his voice sounded. “Getting married to McKenna is the right thing to do for my future.”

John didn’t look exactly convinced, but he nodded his head. “If you say so.”

“I say so.”

Oliver lifted his hand for a brief wave and disappeared out of the door before John could say anything more. He didn’t want to talk about this any longer. He didn’t even want to think about this any longer.

The sooner he and Felicity would calm the waves, the better.

 

* * *

 

Even a hot shower, a nerve-wrecking drive through the city and several hours after their training sessions, John’s last words at him still echoed in Oliver’s head.

_If you aren’t sure, you shouldn’t do it._

Oliver knew it was his own fault that John thought he wasn’t sure about his wedding with McKenna. What he had said about wondering if McKenna was the right one sometimes must have sounded like he was having real doubts about it. The truth was that he was just a little nervous now that the wedding was coming closer so quickly.

When he was thinking about it thoroughly, Oliver knew that there was no reason to doubt his decision though. Getting married to McKenna was what was best for him and his future.

Getting up from the edge of the bed, Oliver walked over to the small dresser where McKenna was keeping some of his stuff. He opened the topmost drawer and took the small velvet box that was resting between the few pieces of jewelry she owned.

Looking at the two rings that were inside, Oliver smiled.

He had imagined picking out their wedding bands was going to be difficult, especially since neither of them was really used to wearing jewelry. The only thing Oliver wore was a watch. While McKenna loved wearing jewelry, she barely ever got around doing so. Long necklaces or big earrings didn’t come handy while she was working her shift for the SCPD.

They had entered that jeweler without any expectation of finding the right rings. When Oliver had taken a look at the sets, there had only been one that he had liked. He had suggested it to McKenna and she just agreed to it. They had tried the rings and taken them despite the saleswoman’s protest that they couldn’t take the first rings they liked.

Oliver’s ring was made of a tungsten steal with a shiny platinum line in the middle. McKenna’s ring was the exact opposite of that. Her ring was made of shiny platinum with a dark line in the middle. The rings complemented each other.

The saleswoman had guessed that the rings were complementing each other as well as they probably did which had made both of them chuckle. The idea might be very romantic, but it didn’t fit them at all. He and McKenna were just too similar to each other to complement each other.

It didn’t make their relationship any less valuable though. He and McKenna were harmonizing well because they shared a lot of interests and hobbies. Being so similar to each other was their strength to because it meant that they barely ever got into those little fights that eventually added up and led to a heartbreaking break-up.

If Oliver had had to plan his honeymoon with anyone else, he was sure it would have been difficult to find a compromise. With McKenna, it had been easy because they both wanted adventures. They had planned a climbing tour and skydiving and a million other things he was sure most women didn’t want to do during their honeymoon.

McKenna made it incredibly easy to be with her and Oliver loved that. He had had his fair share of complicated relationships, and he didn’t need any more of those.

When he heard the keys turning in the lock of the front door, Oliver put the velvet box back to the drawer quickly. He walked over to the bed and grabbed his leather jacket before he hurried downstairs.

By the time he had reached the foot of the stairs, McKenna stepped into the loft. She dropped her keys to the floor and let her jacket follow with a long groan. She looked like she had just returned from a trip to hell and the thought made Oliver chuckle.

“That bad?”

“Worse.” Oliver chuckled, and it elicited a tired smile from her before she added, “First I had to do a lot of unnecessary paperwork. Then Captain Pike sent me into the Glades to arrest a drug dealer that I had to chase for two blocks which admittedly was kind of cool, but I did end up in a dumpster before I caught him. Just when I was showered and feeling ready to beat that guy’s ass in the interrogation room when one of his clients threw up on me.”

“So that is what you call a bad day?” Oliver asked, cocking his head with an amused smile. “Spending most of your shift under the shower?”

McKenna shot him a look that made Oliver bite back on a chuckle. He guessed it really was the worst kind of day for her, and he couldn’t hold it against her. Having someone throw up on you was probably one of the grossest things that could happen to you. He had experienced it once, and he would have probably been more than disgusted if he hadn’t been so worried about Felicity’s wellbeing that he had forgotten about anything else.

Moving her fingers through her hair, McKenna approached him. With a deep sigh, she stopped in front of him and put her hands to her hips, looking him up and down.

“Are you leaving?”

“I promised Felicity to help her move into her new townhouse.”

“Right. You told me.” McKenna rubbed her hands over her face and yawned. “I’d come with you to help too, but-“

“You should go to bed and catch some sleep,” Oliver told her. “And maybe shower a couple of times more.”

McKenna narrowed her eyes at him. “You are mean.”

Oliver chuckled. “Maybe a little.”

Putting his hand to her hip, Oliver closed the distance between his and McKenna’s lips and kissed her gently.

The moment his lips came into touch with hers, the familiar memories that had been haunting him all day flashed through his mind again though. He saw Felicity. He heard her. He smelled her. He felt her. He tasted her.

When Oliver stepped away quickly, McKenna made a face. She lifted her hair in front of her nose and smelled at it.

“Is it still that bad?” she asked and smelled at it again. “I swear I showered like three times. It’s just impossible to get the stench of vomit out of your hair.”

“It will go away eventually.”

“Well, I hope so.” McKenna chuckled. “I don’t want my hair to smell like vomit on our wedding day.”

“I am sure it will get out until then,” Oliver replied. “I’ll see you tonight. Do you want me to bring something for dinner?”

“Are you sure you will make it back in time for dinner?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I can make it work.”

McKenna smiled, but she waved it off. “Let’s just delay our dinner to tomorrow and-“

“Thea convinced me to go to the movies with her tomorrow.”

“So, we are ordering Sushi on Sunday,” McKenna corrected her suggestion. “Take your time to help Felicity today. I know how much she means to you.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Of course,” McKenna replied. “I mean we don’t want to be the kind of couple that suddenly forgets they have friends just because they are getting married, do we?”

“No, we don’t.” Oliver pecked McKenna’s lips. “Definitely not.”

With that, Oliver walked over to the door and left the loft. He almost fled from it, unable to stay any longer. He just couldn’t look McKenna in the eyes as long as McKenna was so wonderful and he just continued to think about that his kiss with Felicity.

He needed to talk to her.

The drive through Felicity’s townhome was long and the traffic was terrible like it always was on a Friday afternoon. That way, Oliver had enough time to think about how he was going to address this kiss.

Well, at least it should have been enough time. He had had time to think through a thousand different scenarios and imagine how they were going to play out. When Oliver arrived in front of the house, he was still completely clueless about it though.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver decided that he would push that thought out of his mind for the next hours. As long as the furniture movers were here, Oliver guessed that there wasn’t any time to have a real conversation anyway. It would just have to wait for a couple of hours until they were alone and could really talk.

While Oliver was getting out of his car, he looked at the house and smiled. Even without knowing the address and without the truck in front of it, he was sure that he would have known that it was Felicity’s new home. It was a little hidden behind a big tree and it looked unobtrusive compared to the others houses in the street.

Just looking at the exterior, Oliver was almost sure that Felicity would be happy here. At least it was a place that she could be happy in. He could see her in a rocking chair or a holiday swing on the front porch, enjoying a mug of coffee while she was reading a book or working on a tablet.

Oliver had just reached the small path that led to the front porch when Felicity stepped out of the house. She had holding a clipboard in her hands and had a pen tugged into the mess bun of her hair. As soon as she saw him, she smiled.

“There you are,” she said. “I already feared I would have to carry all those boxes around by myself.”

Frowning, Oliver shot a look at his watch. “It’s not five yet.”

“Yeah, but I asked you to come here at four.”

“Oh.”

Felicity chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. I am used to it.”

She passed the distance towards him and hugged him briefly. Oliver didn’t even have time to get over his surprise how comfortable and easy she was around him despite their kiss. She just pulled away again quickly and flashed him a smile before she lowered her eyes to her clipboard and looked around.

He guessed if Felicity had no trouble with the kiss, he didn’t have to have any either. He actually felt some of the weight he had been carrying dropping from his shoulders.

“Searching for something?”

“My pen,” Felicity replied. “I swear I had it a couple of-“

“Here.” Oliver pulled the pen from her hair and held it out to her. “We don’t want you to mess up your neatly done check-list here.”

Felicity puckered her lips and turned her head to look at Oliver with narrowed eyes. She just loved to be prepared and to be organized. He loved to make fun of it as he was happily living in chaos all day every day.

“Stop making fun of me and my list,” Felicity told him, holding the clipboard to her chest. “Without this list, I wouldn’t know that only five boxes, three new pieces of furniture that I ordered and a lamp are on the truck. The movers will leave us in about twenty minutes I guess.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Already?”

“Well, you have been an hour late.”

“At least on your schedule.”

“Which is the only schedule.”

Oliver hummed thoughtfully. When Felicity slapped his chest, he chuckled though and lifted his hands in defeat.

“Okay, what do you want me to do?”

“I will make sure the last boxes and the pieces of furniture are taken to the right rooms,” Felicity said. “Can you go upstairs and set up my bed please?”

“You trust me to set up your bed?” Oliver asked, perking up an eyebrow. “Didn’t you once say that spoiled, little billionaire brats like me don’t even know how to set up an IKEA cupboard?”

“Yeah, but I then I tried to set up one on my own and realized how hard it really was, so I have to revise my statement. Absolutely nobody knows how to set up an IKEA cupboard. I am giving you a real try here to show me that you can mount a piece of furniture, one that’s not made by IKEA obviously.”

If Oliver was completely honest, he doubted that he could set up a cupboard of any manufacturer, never mind a bed. He wasn’t going to let Felicity win now that he finally got the chance of proving her wrong though. She had teased him with that so long that he’d do anything to make her take it back now. He was competitive like that.

“Where’s the bedroom?”

“Upstairs, second room to the right.”

Oliver saluted to her before he turned around and headed up the porch quickly. He released a breath as he did so, relieved that all this nervousness and all this confusion was solved now.

As he stepped into Felicity’s now home, he looked around. Oliver couldn’t say what it was – maybe the dark wooden floors or maybe the large windows that invited a lot of light inside – but he could just feel like this really was Felicity’s. It suited her.

Upstairs in her bedroom, a room with large windows and broad window sills that Felicity would set up as a reader’s corner, there were several boxes. He had to push them out of the way to even get inside and get to the large package with the construction plan of a bed on it.

Oliver took in a deep breath. “I can do this.”

Kneeling down on the floor, Oliver ripped open the first package and grabbed the mounting construction from it. His hope was fading slowly. Even just understanding this construction seemed impossible, so it seemed like another word needed to be invented to describe what implementing it meant.

At other times, he would have probably just given up. Since he didn’t want Felicity to be right, he knew he just had to find a way to montage this bed and make it look like a professional had done it. It couldn’t be that hard, right?

It didn’t take long for Oliver to revise that statement. Just figuring out which shrews belonged together took him forever it seemed. He almost expected Felicity to show up in the door frame and ask him why it looked like he hadn’t even started yet.

Somehow, he managed to build up the entire thing. It looked stable and it felt stable. When Oliver moved the frame of his bed a little, it didn’t break at least. He guessed he shouldn’t be bothered by the fact that three screws had stayed unused and quickly dropped them into the pocket of his jeans.

He cut open the foil around the mattress unrolled on the floor. If he remembered correctly, it needed at least 48 hours for it to unfold its full comfortability. He hoped Felicity knew that and hadn’t canceled her hotel room already.

“The bed is all set up.”

Oliver lifted his gaze, almost surprised to see Felicity standing there. She was walking past him and taking a thorough look at the bed. Just like he had done before, she moved it quickly. Luckily, it didn’t break down now either.

“Surprised?” Oliver asked.

“Maybe a little.” Felicity chuckled before she sat down on the frame of the bed and stretched out her legs a little. “And you really managed to make it stable enough for me to give it a try to sleep in there.”

“You really are surprised.” Oliver chuckled as he glanced at his watch to see that it had taken him almost two hours to put this bed together. “Where have you been this entire time?”

“In the office,” Felicity replied. “I needed to set up my computers and the wi-fi. I want to live here after all and not just exist.”

Oliver crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And you really want to tell me that you set up your desk, a giant desk I guess since I know your computer systems, all by yourself?”

“Of course not.” Felicity snorted. “I let the guys from the moving company take care of it.”

“And they couldn’t take care of the bed?”

“No.” Felicity grinned. “Otherwise, I couldn’t have forced you to do it.”

Oliver tried to glare at Felicity, but he couldn’t hide the smile that was cracking on his lips. He just couldn’t be mad at her for longer than three seconds, well, two and a half probably.

When their eyes met as they were both smiling, Felicity suddenly blushed and looked away. A few strands had loosened from her messy bun, but they didn’t do anything to hide that she was biting down on her bottom lip.

Clearing his throat, Oliver sat down on the frame of the bed next to her. His thumb rubbed against the other fingertips like it always did when he was nervous. Talking with Felicity about the kiss did make him nervous though he wasn’t as nervous as he had been about it earlier this day.

“About that kiss.”

Felicity shot him a brief look before she lowered her gaze again, looking at her hands in her lap. Only now Oliver realized that her hands looked a lot more normal to him again now that she wasn’t wearing an engagement ring anymore.

“That Carrie-girl really is into you, isn’t she?”

Oliver already opened to his mouth to reply when he noticed that he didn’t really know what he could say to that, at least not as long as he didn’t know how Felicity was feeling about all of this. So, he looked at her face closely. He had just come to the conclusion that Felicity had used that little comment as a comedic relief like she did so often when she was trying to escape the tension of a situation as well as her own feelings.

“I am really sorry, Felicity.”

Felicity frowned, finally looking at him. “For what?”

“For ambushing you with that kiss,” Oliver replied honestly. “I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking you. I thought it was a good way to get rid of her, but I didn’t want things between us to get awkward. I mean I have been thinking about this kiss all day, wondering if I ruined our friendship and-“

“You could never ruin our friendship.”

Felicity’s voice was quiet and soft, but Oliver stopped nonetheless. He looked at her intently, trying to find any doubt in her eyes. There was none to be found though.

“Oliver, the kiss was a hundred shades of awkward,” Felicity told him with a chuckle, her face lighting up like she hadn’t laughed in a long time. “Best friends really should never try to kiss each other. I mean you wouldn’t kiss Thea like that either, would you?”

“God no.” Oliver screwed up his face. “Gross.”

“See?” Felicity nudged his side. “We are just going to add this to the long list of awkward things our friendship survived, and we are going to laugh about it as soon as we have lived it down for a while.”

Oliver smiled to himself quietly. Hadn’t he thought the same thing earlier today when he had thought about the kiss? He and Felicity were just thinking incredibly alike.

“Like me massaging that balm on your ass?”

“Like that,” Felicity replied, nodding her head. “Speaking of that, let’s agree never to talk about that again either.”

Oliver chuckled. “You were the one who brought it up again in the first place.”

“I know, and I now I want it to be forgotten again. Please.”

Grinning, Oliver leaned over and nudged her shoulder with his. “Never.”

“Fine, but just because you set up my bed,” Felicity said with a groan and got up on her feet. “I am going to order some burgers for us. After that you could help me with some boxes downstairs. Or do you have to leave?”

“No, McKenna specifically told me to make sure I did everything you needed me to do before I came home.” Oliver smiled. “Anything for you.”

Felicity leaned into the frame of the door. “It’s why you are my best friend.”

She winked at him, and Oliver winked back at her. The next moment, Felicity disappeared to go downstairs and order them burgers. He knew he could trust her with the order. She knew what he liked even if it changed depending what he had an appetite for.

Left alone in the bedroom, Oliver figured that he should be relieved about how this conversation had turned out. Still, he couldn’t get rid of the dissatisfying feeling that was spreading in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

After almost ten minutes of waiting in his car, Oliver turned off the engine with a long sigh and hurried over to the mansion. When he stepped into the foyer and found that Thea wasn’t even down here, he rolled his eyes.

When it came to being in time, he wasn’t the only Queen family member that had a bad reputation. Thea’s was actually worse than his he guessed. He was just a little dopey. He forgot about meetings and about time. Thea almost seemed to plan being late. She just got ready fifteen minutes later than she should even if she had time.

Oliver stepped to the foot of the stairs. He wanted to go upstairs and pick up Thea from her room if that was their only way of leaving anytime soon. He could almost see her lying on the bed and talking on the phone with one of her friends already. She needed someone to remind her to come downstairs and get ready.

Before he got to take the first step, his mother approached from the living room though.

“Oliver,” she said, seeing him before Oliver could hide from her. “There you are.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Oliver pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, turning around to her. He glanced upstairs. Hopefully, Thea was going to come downstairs quickly. He didn’t have the nerve to talk to his mother right now though he really couldn’t say why.

“How are the wedding preparations going?” she asked. “The ones I am not included in?”

Oliver sighed. He doubted that his mother would ever not hold it against him that he hadn’t wanted her to be included in all the decisions they were making for the wedding. He knew that she had just wanted to help, but he and McKenna had eventually felt like Moira’s ideas for their wedding had differed too much from theirs to continue planning the wedding together.

“It’s going great,” Oliver told her. “We are perfectly in time with the preparations.”

“It’s less than four weeks now.”

“I know.” Oliver smiled. “I can’t wait for it.”

His smile widened as he felt the words sinking in. Since his conversation with Felicity yesterday, he had had a lot of time to think. He knew now that his confusion had just been a temporary thing caused by stress and a brief touch of panic at the finality of his decision to get married. It was a big decision after all.

Once he had taken a good night of sleep, Oliver’s head had cleared though. He knew now what he had known before. Getting married to McKenna was the right decision.

“You aren’t nervous about it?”

“I was.” Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I know that this is the right thing to do though. Getting married to McKenna is a good decision. We are looking into a great future together.”

Moira chuckled. “I don’t think I have ever heard you talking this formally outside of Queen Consolidated.”

Oliver hunched his shoulders and lowered his eyes to the floor, shuffling his feet. He didn’t know why he failed to make it sound romantic or heartfelt whenever he was talking about McKenna and him. It was probably because he really wasn’t the romantic kind of guy. Romance was just not his area.

When his mother rested her hand over his on the baluster, Oliver lifted his gaze. Moira had stepped closer to him and was looking at him with the same love and warmth in her eyes that had always been there when she had sat at his bedside in his childhood, reading him a story before kissing him goodnight. Now, there was something more in her eyes though. There was pride.

“I am really proud of you,” she said eventually, confirming what Oliver had seen in her eyes already. “You have come a long way, and the person you have grown into is a really good man. You are taking responsibility for yourself and for the people around you. You are settling for a wonderful life even though it means giving up on some of the freedoms you love. Your dad and I are really proud of you.”

Oliver smiled, feeling his heart warm with joy. Although he had never felt unloved or like they were approaching him with disdain, Oliver had always wanted to hear his parents say this. With someone like Felicity – someone who was incredibly smart and goodhearted and another million things that were admirable – growing up alongside him, it hadn’t been easy to impress them.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“And of course I am very happy for you.”

Oliver looked at his mother closely. “You really like McKenna, don’t you?”

As soon as he had asked the question, Oliver regretted it. He really needed to stop saying things that allowed his mother to talk about her wild dreams of him ending up with Felicity. Of course this insight came too late.

“She is not Felicity,” Moira replied. When Oliver released a sigh, she chuckled quietly. “Honestly, Oliver, I like McKenna very much. She is smart and funny and really nice. She is wonderful.”

Oliver just nodded. He knew that his mother didn’t mean bad with the mentions of Felicity, but given the two days that were past him, it felt like rubbing salt into the wound. Of course his mother couldn’t know about that.

“Speaking of Felicity,” Moira added eventually, “how is she doing?”

“She’s fine,” Oliver answered immediately. “Why?”

“Well, Donna is worried about her.” Moira sighed. “Felicity doesn’t talk about the break-up, and she has the weird feeling that there is more to it than Felicity is letting on. She just wants to make sure that Felicity really is alright. She is very busy with the new job and living here again. That’s already a lot of change to take, especially since she moved here for Carter too. This split engagement has a bad timing.”

“Can a split engagement ever come at the right time?”

Moira smiled. “Probably not.”

Oliver nodded slowly. He understood Donna’s worry because he had been worried about it too. After talking to Felicity in the night that he had found out about the break-up, Oliver was almost sure that he didn’t have to worry about her. He couldn’t stop thinking that there was indeed something about her and Carter breaking off their engagement that she hadn’t told him though.

“I think Felicity needs some time to process what has happened. She will come around and tell us what has really happened between her and Carter eventually.”

“And you will be there if she’s ready.”

“Of course I will.” Oliver frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Moira smiled gently. “Honey, there are a lot of people that forget how important it is to maintain friendships, especially when they get married. Friends suddenly get less important because your life revolves around your partner and the future you are building together. You start leaning on your partner and only your partner. Don’t get me wrong. It’s important that your partner is the most important person in your life, but that shouldn’t stop you from maintaining relationships outside of your marriage. It’s important to have someone outside of your marriage to lean on. It’s always good to have a friend because there might come a day that you feel like you need someone to talk about your marriage or about something that you feel you can’t talk to your partner about.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if his mother was talking about herself. He knew that, after she had gotten married to his dad, she had neglected some friendships for a while. She and Donna hadn’t had contact in a while before she had called her for help. It didn’t matter whether or not she was talking about herself though.

“Mom, Felicity will always be my friend,” he told her firmly. “Whether I am married or not, whether she is married or not. We will be best friends. No matter what.”

That elicited the widest smile on his mother’s lips that he had seen in a while. Oliver had trouble not to roll his eyes at that. His mother was happy what he was taking responsibility for the company which was basically his family’s heritage. She was happy that he was getting married and settling for what was his parents’ vision of an adult, fulfilled life.

The fact that he was reserving a place for Felicity in his future was a reason for her to throw confetti around though.

“I know that Donna and I were always driving Felicity and you insane with telling you that you should date,” Moira said quietly, shooting him a soft smile. “I hope you also know that we were only joking, at least mostly.”

As much as he tried to, Oliver couldn’t contain a smile at his mother’s last words. Of course she couldn’t leave it to it being a joke. She had to add that it was mostly a joke.

“I know,” Oliver replied, nodding. “Felicity and I both know.”

Oliver and Moira smiled at each other for a long moment. Once more Oliver realized that he had always been closer to his mother than he had been to his dad. He loved his dad, and he knew he loved him. Robert had just always been a little fonder of Felicity because they just shared the same interests and the same intellect. Oliver had left his dad to Felicity gladly since she hadn’t had one in her life.

When Thea came almost running downstairs, Oliver and Moira took a step apart. Oliver turned to face his little sister and was greeted by her with a tight hug that almost made him tumble a step or two backwards.

“Sorry, Bro,” she said. “I called Sin about something and it just ended in a long conversation about how much boys suck.”

“Oh, thank you very much.” Oliver chuckled. “I am trying not to take it personally.”

“Well, you’re not really a boy anyway, Ollie.”

Oliver put his hand to his heart. “Right in the heart, Sis.”

They both chuckled though before they said goodbye to their mother and left the mansion to go outside. Oliver pulled his keys from his jacket. Before he managed to click the button to unlock the doors, Thea had snatched the keys from his fingers though.

“No way,” Oliver said immediately, trying to get those keys back. “You are not driving.”

“Oh, come on, Ollie!” Thea’s fist tightened around the keys. “I got my driving license months ago and you still haven’t let me drive your car.”

“Yes because-“

“Pretty please!”

Thea fluttered her eyelashes, smiling at him in a way that only she could. With a defeated groan, Oliver nodded his head. He knew he didn’t have any chance here. Thea would get whatever she wanted from him. She was his little sister after all, and he couldn’t say no to her.

During the drive to the cinema, Oliver watched his sister closely. Sometimes, it still felt like yesterday that she had been a baby that he and Felicity had liked to play with. Then she had suddenly been a toddler that had chased them around the house, trying to follow them wherever they had gone. Now she was already an adult.

Time just passed incredibly quickly, and Oliver didn’t know how to feel about that.

Fifteen minutes after they had left the mansion, they arrived at the cinema. While Thea was directing the car into the parking lot, Oliver looked at the building. Through the wide windows, Oliver could see that it was dark inside the building.

“Thea, did you check the program?”

“Yes, of course,” Thea replied, turning off the engine. “Why?”

“Because it looks dark inside.”

“Weird.” Thea shot a brief look over her shoulder, frowning. “Let’s check. Maybe they had to close spontaneously.”

“I can check on the website and-“

“You are not Felicity, Ollie.” Thea chuckled, opening her door. “You don’t have to use the internet for everything you do.”

Oliver grinned, thinking to himself that Thea wasn’t wrong. Felicity would probably check on the website what the deal was. She wouldn’t have even announced it. She would have just done so because the internet was like her outsourced brain. It was what she had always called it during their youth.

Anyway, he and Thea could as well just take the few steps over there to the door and check if there was something that explained this.

He and Thea walked towards the entrance side by side. Indeed, everything was dark inside. Not a single person seemed to be here tonight. Although there was no message that informed about the cinema staying closed today, Oliver guessed it was what was happening.

“Looks bad for our movie night,” he said with a sigh. “What do we want to do instead? Should we go and grab some dinner or-“

“Wait,” Thea said. “The door is open.”

When she just pushed the door open, Oliver wanted to hold her back. After all the horror movies Felicity forced him to watch with him, he knew this was the perfect beginning for one. Thea just went inside though, so he followed quickly. He didn’t want his little sister to go inside of there alone.

“Surprise!”

Just as Oliver had put a foot over the doorstep, the lights were switched on and his friends were jumping out of the different corners of the room. Everyone was applauding and laughing. They were having fun.

Oliver had only eyes for Felicity though. She approaching him with quick steps, allowing him to take her in closely. She was smiling joyfully, making her face look even brighter as it did already. She had pinned up her blonde curls, but they were still framing her like a halo. She was wearing a red dress with gold embroidery. With its deep neckline and its short hem, it left a lot room for imagination.

For most men, Oliver added mentally. He was her best friend. He didn’t see her like that. Of course he didn’t.

“Hey,” Oliver said when Felicity put her hands to his shoulders and kissed his cheek. “What is all of this?”

“This, my friend,” Felicity replied, stepping next to him, “is your bachelor party.”

“My bachelor party?”

“Of course.” Felicity nudged his shoulder. “I am your best woman. I took care of everything like every good best woman would. You will love it. You just have to love it because I swear that I will kick your ass if you don’t love it.”

Oliver didn’t doubt that. He didn’t doubt any of that. If there was someone who knew what kind of parties he enjoyed, it was Felicity. If she was wrong, she’d never admit it though. She’d just make him love it one way or the other.

He shot Thea a look. “You knew about that?”

“Of course I did.” Thea chuckled. “It was my task to bring you here, so you can celebrate which I guess is my clue to leave.”

“You are not staying?”

Thea chuckled, shaking her head with a roll of her eyes like the idea of staying here for the party was completely absurd. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him and kissed his stubbled cheek.

“You have fun,” Thea said, rubbing her hand over his back. “I will abduct your fiancée now, so she can celebrate her bachelorette party at the mansion. Mom and I have planned everything for her. You don’t have to feel guilty about having fun here, and don’t worry if McKenna is not coming home. I asked Raisa to prepare a room for her in the mansion. She is probably going to sleep there.”

“Thank you, Speedy,” Oliver said, hugging her back. “For everything.”

Thea smiled at him when she pulled back. She hugged Felicity and whispered something into her ear before she left. Oliver looked after her for a moment, smiling with happiness and relief. He was glad that he had been able to spend some time with his little sister, but he was certainly happy that she wasn’t joining them for his bachelor party too.

It would have been weird if Thea had stayed here.

When Felicity linked her arm with Oliver’s, he turned all his attention towards her. She was looking at him with a quiet smile on her red lips.

“So, I planned this whole night for you,” Felicity told him, “and it’s a real event. Are you ready for it?”

Oliver grinned. He knew a lot of crazy plans Felicity had made in her life. They had indeed implemented some of them together, and he guessed neither of them could deny that they hadn’t always gone well. They had had a lot of fun, but they had also gotten in a lot of trouble.

“I doubt that I will ever be ready for something that you have planned, but I am happily joining in on whatever fun you have in store.”

Felicity smiled at him. “Perfect answer.”


	10. Kilig

_= The heady-sublime rush you experience right after something good happens (Tagalog)_

 

“Man, even without any strippers there, that girl can throw parties!” Adrian put his arm around Oliver’s shoulders, leaning against him so much that Oliver almost lost his footing, and followed his gaze to where Felicity was currently saying goodbyes to the last of their guests. “And she’s so hot.”

Oliver crossed his arms in front of his chest and shot Adrian a brief glance. With a frown, he turned back to Felicity and shook his head firmly. It wasn’t the first time a friend of his talked like that about Felicity, but he still couldn’t say that he particularly liked it. It made him uncomfortable because, as her friend, he didn’t like to hear that about Felicity. From a more objective point of view he had to admit that most men probably thought about her like that.

“I guess it’s time for all of us to head home now.”

“Do you think Felicity would mind if I take a little detour and take her home first?”

“I would mind,” Oliver said firmly and turned around to Adrian. “Maybe if you are sober, I will allow you to ask her out on a date. Not like this though.”

“Always watching out for Felicity.” Adrian chuckled, shaking his head. “I guess that’s the one thing that will never change.”

“No,” Oliver confirmed, shooting Felicity a brief look. “That will never change.”

Adrian sighed. “Fine. I am going home alone then.”

He clapped Oliver’s back firmly and lifted his hand for a short wave towards Felicity before he turned around and walked away. Oliver looked after him for a moment, shaking his head slightly. He had known Adrian for years, and whenever they met, he was talking about taking Felicity home.

Oliver had always done his best to prevent that from happening. He liked Adrian, but he wasn’t exactly known to be a good boyfriend-material. Hence, Oliver would do his best that Adrian was never going to take Felicity home.

When Oliver eventually turned around, Felicity was already approaching him. With a wide smile on his lips, he spread his arms for her and she stepped into them with a chuckle. Oliver wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. They were swaying from one side to the other as they were holding each other.

“Thank you for this amazing night.”

Felicity pulled back, smiling at him. “It was a really great party, wasn’t it?”

“It was perfect.”

“Well, perfect except for the lack of strippers according to most of your friends.” Felicity rolled her eyes slightly when she mimicked the voice of his friends. “Every bachelor’s night needs strippers, Felicity.”

“Did I already thank you for not including any strippers?” Oliver asked. “Or for taking all the blame for the fact that there weren’t any?”

Felicity’s grin widened. “No, you didn’t.”

“Well in that case-“

Oliver cupped Felicity’s head with his hands and started peppering kisses all over her face, whispering words of gratitude between them. Felicity chuckled until she slapped his hands away and took a step back.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Felicity said and shook her head, still trying to bite back a chuckle. “You are so drunk.”

“Just a little.”

Oliver’s voice was slurred slightly. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn’t prevent it from sounding through. Maybe he had had a little bit more vodka than he had realized after all. Since they had started drinking at the cinema and had continued drinking at the nearby club that Felicity had booked for them, he hadn’t been able to really keep an overview of how many drinks had been thrusted into his hand.

“I will head home now.” Felicity yawned, lifting her hands far above her head to stretch them. “I am so tired from moving and from this night that I could sleep for at least a week.”

Oliver chuckled. “You did have a busy week.”

“I did.”

Felicity sighed deeply and put her arms around Oliver’s neck. He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her back. He rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He could just lose himself in this hug.

Soon Felicity pulled back though, saying, “Goodnight, Oliver.”

“Woah, not so fast.” Oliver put an arm around her shoulders quickly when she turned to leave. “I am not letting you go home alone.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “I live like five minutes from here.”

“So, I will join you on your five-minute walk and call a cab for myself when I know you are safe in your new home.”

Although Felicity seemed to be apt to objecting, she eventually nodded her head with a sigh. She knew that it didn’t matter how hard she would try to stop him from accompanying him to his home, he would do it nonetheless. As a big brother, he just didn’t feel good about letting a woman that meant so much to him go home alone in the dark of the night.

Well, it wasn’t exactly dark anymore to be honest. It was already dawning and the first people seemed to be out and on their way to their Sunday shifts, but Oliver still felt unsafe about letting her go home alone.

He and Felicity walked in silence for quite some time. He had his arm still wrapped around her shoulder, and she was leaning against his side slightly. Her head rested on his shoulder, and Oliver could see that she had closed her eyes when she glanced at his face.

He guessed Adrian wouldn’t have had much fun taking her home after all Oliver thought and couldn’t prevent a quiet chuckle from falling from his lips.

Felicity seemed to notice it because she rested her head back to look at his face and perked up her eyebrows. She didn’t need to ask the question for Oliver to know it.

“Adrian wanted to take you home,” he said with a sigh. “I doubt he will ever stop trying.”

When Felicity puckered her lips, Oliver frowned. He knew that expression on her face and it made him screw up his nose.

“Don’t tell me you are interested in him.”

“Well, he’s hot.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe when we meet the next time and I am ready for some adventure, I will let him take me home.”

Oliver screwed his nose up even more. He really didn’t want to even imagine something like that to happen. In a moment like this, he almost wished that he had a veto on who Felicity dated. He would probably dismiss every guy she could possibly go out with.

Shaking his head, he looked at her again. “Are you searching for someone in your life now that things with Carter didn’t turn out right?”

Felicity flashed him a brief glance before she looked away. She was staring into the distance for a moment, her eyes narrowing on something he couldn’t name while she was thinking about her answer. Oliver just watched her, giving her the time that she needed.

“No,” she said eventually, looking at him with a shake of her head. “No, I am not searching, at least not right now. I mean I am back here now and have this incredible job. That was quite a change, and I want to focus on that for now.”

Oliver nodded. He understood what Felicity meant. Working a new job, especially in a position like Junior CEO meant a lot of responsibility. If he hadn’t been prepared to do it for years, he probably wouldn’t have proposed to McKenna now either. He might have waited a year or two until he had gotten used to the new position.

“And someday?”

“Someday?” Felicity nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess someday I might start searching again. Just not now. For now, I am just really happy to be here in Starling and working at Queen Consolidated with you and your dad. I don’t need anything else than that for now.”

Felicity was smiling softly. There was a contentment in her eyes that should actually leave no doubt that she really meant it. Being here made her really happy. For Oliver, that came at a surprise though.

“Are you?” Oliver asked, frowning slightly. “Happy?”

“Sure.” Felicity looked at him, mirroring his frown. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, when dad proposed the offer to work at QC to you, you weren’t excited about it. I mean you didn’t reject the offer immediately, but you didn’t exactly dance a happy dance either.”

Felicity looked at his face closely, but Oliver held his gaze down. He couldn’t look at Felicity right now. His disappointment, now that he had spoken about it, felt as raw as it had felt in the moment his dad had told him about his phone call with Felicity. She continued to look at him, and Oliver was almost sure that there was a blush spreading on his cheeks. The intensity of her eyes on his skin made it hard to keep looking away. He actually felt his determination not to look at her fading a little.

When Felicity’s fingers suddenly laced through his on her shoulder, he lifted his gaze immediately. Her eyes were already on him, looking at him with warmth.

“I was just-“

“You don’t have to apologize or explain this,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “It’s your life and your decision. I was disappointed, very disappointed even, but I figured that the past is not ever coming back and it’s time to look into the future. It was the same day I proposed to McKenna.”

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but it seemed like she didn’t know what she could possibly say to that. She closed her mouth before any sound had fallen from her lips. She just looked at him like she was trying to read the answers to her questions on his face.

Eventually, she looked away too and they both continued their way in silence.

Oliver didn’t know if maybe he shouldn’t have told Felicity about how disappointed he had been. He hadn’t told her before because he hadn’t wanted her to feel pressured or anything. Since she had told him how happy she was here, he had just figured that it was okay to tell her about his disappointment.

After all, she had realized what he had thought before already – that taking this offer would be the right thing for her.

Still, Oliver felt like there was some kind of tension left between them. It was hard to describe and hard to fathom. Maybe it wasn’t even there.

By the time they reached Felicity’s home, they still hadn’t said a word to each other. They stopped in front of the house, looking at it quietly. Felicity sighed, leaning even more into his side. Her thumb rubbed back and forth over the knuckles of his hands.

Oliver sighed. “There we are.”

“There we are.”

Smiling, Felicity squeezed his hand before she let go of it. She turned around to him, so their chests were pressing together. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she hugged him.

“Thank you for letting me organize this for you.”

“Thank you for throwing this party for me,” Oliver replied. “I had a lot of fun.”

“So did I.” Felicity took a step back and rummaged in her purse for her keys. “Now I am going to fall into bed.”

Oliver frowned. “Doesn’t the mattress still need time to unfold?”

Felicity snorted. “Like I am going to wait two days until it’s ready. I slept in my new bed-“

“The bed I set up for you.”

“-peacefully last night already, and I am going to do the same tonight.” Felicity glanced back over her shoulder to the bedroom window and smiled. “I even set up the reader’s corner already. I am smiling every time I step into my bedroom now.”

Oliver smiled at how happy she was about it. He knew how much she had always wanted to have one. Even before she had started school, she had talked about wanting one like that. It hadn’t been possible in Donna’s home though.

“Can I see it?”

“Sure.”

Immediately, Felicity tugged at his hand and pulled him with her to the door. She unlocked it quickly and pushed Oliver inside first, making him chuckle. She followed right after him, hung her keys to the keyboard next to the door and peeled herself out of her coat. She hung it to the wardrobe and put her high heels under it neatly.

Oliver grinned. Just to tease her, he took off his jacket and dropped it to the floor. Slipping out of his shoes, he simply kicked them away. The mildly angry glare Felicity shot him was already worth it.

For a second, she looked like she was about to snap at him for destroying her tidiness. Eventually, her excitement about showing him her reader’s corner seemed to take over though. She nodded towards the stairs and went ahead.

A minute later, Oliver stepped into Felicity’s bedroom after her. While there had been moving boxes everywhere on the way here, the bedroom almost looked like she had lived here for months already. There were no moving boxes here and even little details like a painting above the bed and a handful of framed photos on the dresser had been taken care of.

Oliver wanted to go over to the dresser and see what photos she had put there, but Felicity was waiting for him with nervous excitement in her eyes. He could see that she wanted to know what he thought about her reader’s corner and he didn’t want to make her wait too long.

A small mattress or at least a futon had been put to the broad window sill. Half a dozen pillows were resting there, making it probably as comfortable as it probably could be if she was going to read there. Instead of curtains, a chain of lights was framing the window. It wasn’t exactly spectacular, but it looked exactly like Felicity had always described her perfect reader’s corner.

“It’s beautiful,” he told her honestly. “You are really making a home here for yourself.”

“Of course I do.” Felicity smiled and pulled some bobby pins from her hair until the blonde curls fell down on her shoulders loosely. “I want to spend a lot of time in this house. Apart from my office, I’d say the bedroom is the second most important room here. I mean everyone needs some good sleep.”

“Oh, you’re saying.” With a tired sigh, Oliver sat down on the edge of the mattress and let his upper body drop back onto the bed. Sighing once more, he closed his eyes. “I think I just realized how tired I am.”

Felicity chuckled. “You’re getting old.”

“True.”

Oliver remembered a time that he would have partied through the weekend with maybe two hours of sleep. He still wouldn’t have felt tired. Now, one night of partying without too much alcohol made him feel like he needed a short vacation to recover from the night.

“Maybe you should go home and get some sleep.”

“I probably should,” Oliver agreed, nodding his head. He held out his hand for her. “Help me up?”

Felicity smiled amusedly and stepped closer to the bed. She wrapped her fingers around his hand to help him sit up. The moment she started pulling at his hand, he tugged at hers though, making her fall onto the mattress next to him with a chuckle.

“Oddball!” she said with a chuckle.

Oliver grinned. “Come on, it’s one of the things you like best about me.”

Felicity hummed, thinking about her answer. With her eyes focused all on him, she turned onto her side, so she could look at him even more thoroughly. Oliver mirrored her position, looking back at her.

Quiet settled in the room as they looked at each other without saying a single word. A single one of her blonde curls fell into her face. Oliver’s fingers were twitching with the need to reach out his hand and stroke the strand of hair back behind her ear. He remembered that moment a couple of days ago at QC when he had tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear too and had suddenly felt his gaze lingering on her lips.

Continuing to look at her, Oliver wondered how anyone could have the honor to have this woman’s heart and decide to just hand it back. Felicity was amazing in a million different ways and having her in your life would change it to the better forever. Just like having her in his life had changed it to the better.

Almost a little nervously given his thorough gaze, Felicity stroked the strand of her hair out her face herself. She winked at him like she wanted to lighten the mood, but Oliver just continued looking at her quietly.

“Felicity, why did you and Carter break up?”

Oliver had felt like in the comfortableness of this bed and the quiet of this moment, it had finally been the right time to ask. When Felicity sucked in a deep breath and lowered her eyes, avoiding his gaze, Oliver wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have asked. Felicity didn’t seem to be ready to talk about it.

“I- It’s a long story.”

Felicity continued looking down. Her fingers were fumbling together until her thumb started rubbing against the tips of her other fingers. He watched the movement for a moment before he recognized it as he was always doing the same when he was nervous. She must have adapted that nervous tick from him at some point.

“I have time. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

There was another long silence. Felicity lifted her gaze to look at his face briefly before she looked back at her fingers. Oliver could see in her face that she needed time to think about whether to tell him or not and how to tell him if she decided to do so. He gave her the time she needed, letting her decide when she was ready.

When Felicity finally lifted her gaze, she was chuckling. Oliver knew that she would try to make fun of it now, but he didn’t miss the underlying tension there. She was nervous about telling him whatever she would tell him now – whether it was because it was a truth or a lie.

“It’s actually a funny story.”

Again, Felicity chuckled, and again Oliver could hear that it wasn’t honest. She wasn’t amused about what had happened. At most, she was trying to cover the situation with amusement because she didn’t want to face the realness of it. She was being funny for him.

Oliver perked up his eyebrows slightly and looked at her openly. There was a part of him that wanted to tell her already that she didn’t have to be funny for him. He knew that sometimes it was what she needed too though, so he let her tell this story the way she wanted to tell it.

“Carter thinks that we have feelings for each other.”

Felicity said the words. Every word itself made sense to Oliver. In the combination of them, they sounded like they were taken from a foreign language though. They didn’t make sense to him at all.

“What?”

“I told you it was funny.” Felicity chuckled again, shaking her head. “I mean you and I? The idea is just so absurd.”

“Completely absurd.”

“See?” Felicity tapped her fingers against his chest. “That is exactly what I told Carter too, but he was so convinced of it that it didn’t matter what I was saying. I mean, at first, I thought this was about us leaving. I told him that we just didn’t enjoy the party and that we were starving some BBB. Burgers were just our thing and our comfort food. We have those habits because we have known each other for so long.”

Which was the truth. They had known each other in like forever, so of course they shared a lot of history. They had things and habits that felt like they were theirs because they had spent so much time together.

“He wasn’t angry about it,” Felicity added eventually. “He just sat down on the edge of the bed with a smile and said that he wanted me to be happy. He felt like he couldn’t make me as happy as I could be if we – as in you and I – would just realize that we are in love with each other and probably have been for a while.”

Oliver felt his heart skip a beat at her words. It jumped up into his throat right after that, choking him. Heat was spreading in his chest and in his face. No matter how foreign her words had sounded to him and how little he was still able to make sense of them, they hit him right into the heart.

Pushing that thought away quickly, he cleared his throat. He chuckled, but it sounded just as nervous as Felicity’s chuckle had sounded before.

“That’s just ridiculous.”

“See?” Felicity tapped her fingers against his chest once more. “I told you!”

Although they were both chuckling, their eyes were still locked onto each other’s. Oliver wasn’t able to look away from her and he got the weird feeling that it was the same for her.

“And then-“ Felicity said, holding her hand to her chest as she was left a little breathless from laughing. “Then he added that if we just realized what we were feeling for each other, we could put all of us out of the misery we were heading into.”

Oliver snorted. “He sounds like Sir Carlisle telling Matthew what Lady Lavinia said on her death bed.”

At that, Felicity fell silent. She frowned deeply, and Oliver had to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from saying anything.

“What?”

“Downton Abbey.”

“Downton Abbey?” Felicity perked up one eyebrow, cocking her head at him. “Really?”

“Thea was sick and heartbroken. I was visiting her, and she made me watch it. Honestly, those have probably been the longest two hours in my entire life. I-“

“You really watched Downton Abbey.”

Felicity was really laughing now. There was no nervousness beneath. She was just purely amused by the fact that he had actually watched Downton Abbey, no matter what circumstances had made him do it.

“Just you wait!”

With that, Oliver started tickling Felicity. It only made her laugh more. She kicked her feet, begging for him to stop. Still, Oliver continued tickling her. If she was making fun of it, it was the only fair payback.

Back when they had been younger and he had climbed up trellis to her room, he had tickled her a lot of times too. One times, Felicity had laughed so loudly that Donna had suddenly stood in the room. Felicity had managed to push him off the bed just in time, so Donna hadn’t seen him there. Funnily, she had thought that Felicity had masturbated, and Oliver had barely been able to get back up from the floor once Donna had left again because he had been laughing so much.

“I surrender!” Felicity called out eventually. “I surrender! I surrender!”

Oliver stopped tickling her. He was playing fair after all. If she surrendered, he would-

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when he realized how close he and Felicity were. While tickling her, he had rolled on top of her. Her head was resting in the pillow, her hair framing her face like a halo. His face was so low that the tip of their noses almost brushed together with every intake of breath. Their lips were so close that Oliver could feel Felicity’s warmth breath on his chin.

Oliver could almost pinpoint the moment Felicity realized the same. Her breathing suddenly faltered and her pupils widened as she was taking in thoroughly. For the break of a second, her eyes glanced at his lips, and her tongue darted out to wet the seam of her lips in response.

Suddenly, all the confusing feelings that had been there after he had kissed her a couple of days ago were back. He had tried so hard to push them away and forget about them, focusing on the decisions he had made for his future already. Now that it was just them, it was undeniable whatever he had felt in that moment of kissing her was still very much there.

There was a beat of silence. They both seemed to be frozen into place. Neither of them was doing anything. They were just looking at each other like they needed a moment to figure out what was happening here. At least Oliver knew he needed that.

He couldn’t say who was making the first move or what either of them was thinking or feeling that led to this. One moment, they were still looking at each other almost in shock about what was happening. The next moment, they were moving together. They were closing the distance between their lips until they brushed together in a gentle kiss.

Oliver couldn’t prevent a sigh to escape him as his lips touched with Felicity’s. The softness and warmth of her lips was something he had memorized somewhere deep inside him since he had kissed her a couple of days ago. Only now he realized how much had missed that feeling though. There was a familiarity to it that didn’t come from that one kiss they had shared. It came from a connection deep within.

In the back of his mind, Oliver wondered if this shouldn’t feel wrong. He got the feeling that there should be a voice in his head that was screaming _Mayday_ , warning for something to be done that could never be undone. Instead, he was feeling safe and good about this like it should have been happened a long time ago already.

Forgetting all thoughts that were flashing through his mind, Oliver pushed his arms beneath Felicity’s body to hold her to him. At the same time, Felicity’s fingers moved into his hair. She short fingernails scraped over his scalp as her fingers clawed around some strands of his hair, pulling him closer towards her.

Encouraged by her actions, Oliver pressed his body against hers closely. He could feel her ribs pressing against his chest and her thighs clenching against his hips. His blood was rushing between his legs where a desperate need for her was pooling and he relieved some of the tension that was forming there by rubbing his hips against the juncture of Felicity’s legs.

A strangled moan fell from her lips as her body arched, pressing her even more against him. Oliver used the opportunity and stroked his tongue into her mouth. It was enchanting to kiss her like that or maybe bewitching. Oliver wasn’t sure what was the right word here. He was at a loss of words.

He felt like lost in eternity as they continued kissing, their bodies moving together in a slow rhythm. There was no hurry between them. Although Oliver wanted and needed Felicity, he didn’t feel any need to rush. He didn’t want to rush. He wanted to take his time and enjoy every moment he got to spend with her like that.

Slowly, Oliver let his hand move from her back to her hip and down her leg. Her skin was so soft, and his touch left a trail of little goosebumps on it. Oliver pushed his hand beneath her knee and lifted it a little, so her leg wrapped around his hip, opening her even more to him. The changed position allowed him better access to her center of pleasure. He could hear how much more intense the friction was for her was now in the way her next moan was at least an octave higher than the last.

Felicity’s hands moved down from the back of his head to his cheeks. The tips of her fingers stroked through his stubble, letting the short hair there scratch her sensitive skin. Oliver leaned his face into her touch and let his front teeth dig into her bottom lip slightly. Felicity moaned in response, her hip searching for more friction.

When her fingers moved even lower to the hem of his shirt and started unbuttoning it, Oliver turned them around and sat up. He almost regretted it when Felicity suddenly pulled back, their lips parting.

Felicity was sitting in his lap now, her hands still at the button border of his shirt. Her pupils were widened, her iris darkened. Her lips were red and swollen from their kiss, opened in a wild panting. Oliver stilled his hands where they had stroked up and down her thighs. Only his thumbs were still moving now.

There was a long silence, one that he knew was going to determined what would happen now. He could hear both of their hearts beating wildly as neither of them said a word. They were just letting their eyes speak, knowing it was enough for the other to understand.

The moment a smile spread on both of their lips, they leaned back in again.

Their lips met in another slow kiss as Felicity’s fingers continued to unbutton his shirt. While she was pulling the hem from the waistband of his pants and pushing the fabric down his shoulders, Oliver let his hands continue their path up Felicity’s thighs. They pushed beneath her dress, enjoying the feeling of her naked skin against his fingers.

Only when Felicity groaned against his lips, frustrated by his unwillingness to let go of her skin to let her take off his shirt completely, he complied to her tugging. He chuckled against her lips while she was throwing his shirt to the floor. It turned into a lustful moan when Felicity bit into his bottom lip in response though.

Pressing the bulge in his pants against her center even more firmly, Oliver pulled her hips down on him. Immediately, Felicity’s fingers dug into his shoulder, holding on to him for dear life as her pleasure increased. She moaned against his lips, and Oliver swallowed the sound eagerly.

He would love to hear her moan like that again and again. He wanted to swallow all those moans that were falling from her lips because he felt like a starving man whose hunger could only be nourished by her. The growing tension in his pants where his cock pressed against the zipper almost painfully now made him pull back though, so he could take off Felicity’s dress and let it follow his shirt on the floor.

Felicity wanted to lean back in for another kiss, but Oliver angled his head forward, so his lips landed on her jaw instead. Slowly, he peppered a trail of kisses along her jaw and down the side of her neck. He could feel her pulse point against his lips, and he let his ribs rest against it for a long moment. It was his way of showing his gratitude for the fact that she was alive and right here in his arms.

When Felicity’s fingers moved back into his hair, tugging at some strands to make him angle his head back, he followed the wordless request. He rested his head back, letting her capture his lips in another kiss.

Felicity’s hands resumed to stroked through his hair in that slow way that made his sigh against her lips. His hips slowed down, moving against hers in the rhythm of a slow dance. Meanwhile, his hands moved down her back, trying to explore any inch of her skin to memorize it.

He took off her bra, and the feeling of her breasts pressing against his naked torso made him moan out loud. He tightened his arms around her, pulling her as close to him was possible. Once more, he could feel her heartbeat against his ribs, and he felt his own heart stumble in his chest a couple of times until it had adapted to the rhythm of hers.

Oliver felt like if time just got frozen in this moment, he would be happily living here forever. The taste of Felicity’s tongue against his and the feeling of her heartbeat against his ribs was all that he really needed and wanted. It was giving him life.

Soon, Felicity pushed at his shoulders though until he lay back in the pillow. His hands rested on her thighs while he was watching her. She was an image of beauty, sitting there on his lap, her hips moving against his while she was looking down at him.

Ever so slowly, Felicity leaned forward. Oliver wanted to meet her lips in a kiss, but Felicity angled her head away to kiss his jaw instead. He could feel her smile against his skin, and he knew that she was doing the same he had done to her before. Revenge was sweet after all.

Oliver closed his eyes, enjoying the way Felicity kissed down his body. She took her time peppering kisses along the side of his neck. She kissed down to his chest then where she nibbled at his collar bone for a moment before moving even further down. Her lips were soft and hot on his skin, tickling it and setting it on fire at the same time.

When Felicity slid back from his lap, Oliver lifted his head from the pillow and looked at her. He was about to complain as the back of her hips pressing against his made his cock ache with the need for friction. His complains died on his tongue when Felicity made quick work of his belt though. She unbuckled it, unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper. The sound of it alone made a strangled moan escape Oliver’s lips.

He helped her tugging down his pants and boxer briefs in one go. Sitting up, he grabbed Felicity’s hips where she was kneeling over his thighs. He hooked his fingertips into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down slowly until Felicity could take them off completely.

While he was dropping the panties down on the floor, Felicity crawled up the bed until she was kneeling right over his aching length. Oliver could see her reaching out for it. He turned them quickly, taking Felicity by surprise.

Her head was rested in the pillow now and Oliver kissed her a little more hungrily than he had before, letting her show how much he wanted and needed her right now. He could feel Felicity’s hand moving down his chest to his cock once more. He knew that he would be too far gone to continue exploring her once she had touched him though.

With a low growl, Oliver parted his lips from hers. He kissed down the side of her neck like he had before. Instead of stopping at her neck, he continued down the path though. He kissed peppered a trail of kisses along her collarbone.

Sliding down a little further, he rested his body against hers again. Her naked, wet sex pressed against his pubic bone, and Oliver had trouble to keep up his self-control. He wanted to bury himself in her and feel her quaking when a wave of pleasure was ripping her away with him.

With that thought in mind, Oliver wrapped his lips around the hardened nipple of Felicity’s left breast. She moaned in response, arching her back. Oliver rested his flat tongue against her nipple and started rubbing it back and forth against her sensitive skin again and again. The same movement made Felicity moan out louder and louder until she was breathless and squirming beneath him.

Her moans encouraged him to continue, but they also made his cock ache so badly with need. He shifted against the mattress, trying to seek some friction there, but he knew it wouldn’t take long before he wouldn’t be able to wait any longer.

He let go of her breast and kissed further down her body. His hand stroked over her ribcage, feeling her ribs beneath the soft skin that covered them. Continuing his way down, he eventually reached her belly button. Lifting his gaze to her face, he saw that she had her eyes closed. Her front teeth were buried in her bottom lip, trying to bite back the moans of pleasure.

A grin spread on his lips, and he knew that Felicity could feel it because she frowned and blinked down at him through one eye. Before their eyes could really lock with each other, Oliver angled his head. He dipped his tongue into her belly button. Felicity laughed at that, kicking her legs. She was squirming, trying to get away from him. She was so wonderfully ticklish.

Laughing with her, Oliver propped himself up on his arms for a moment, so he could push himself back up the bed. With his hands resting on the pillow next to Felicity’s head, he lowered himself again. Their lips met in a kiss, turning their laughter into moans that only grew louder and deeper when Oliver rested his hips down between Felicity’s spread legs.

Hot flesh met hot flesh. His cock came to rest right between her folds. The length of his member fit perfectly along her sex. She was dripping wet for him, covering his achingly hard cock in her juices. The need to move was strong, but Oliver just shifted his head slightly. It was just enough to cause his cock to rub against her clit a little.

Felicity loosened one of her hands from his hair immediately and reached out for his hand instead. Oliver laced his fingers with hers, holding onto her hand as firmly as she was holding onto his.

Oliver continued moving like that for a moment. He kissed her deeply and pressed her even more into the mattress with his body. She dug her heels into the mattress and moved back against him. It was slow and patient, both of them enjoying the moment although their bodies were screaming for more.

When she loosened her other hand from his head and moved it down her body, Oliver stopped her. Unlike the other times, he didn’t stop her.

Oliver almost had to gasp for breath when her fingers wrapped around his length. Her grip was firm and determined, but her touch was so soft at the same time. He resisted the urge to thrust into her hand, letting her guide him to her entrance instead.

When his tip was positioned at her entrance, Oliver propped himself up one his forearm. Their lips parted and their eyes locked. Oliver could see the hunger in Felicity’s eyes, the need for more of this and more of him. He was sure that the same expression was mirrored in his eyes too because every cell of his body seemed to be focused on doing nothing more than reacting to whatever she was doing.

Slowly, Oliver pushed into her. She was so wet that she took him in easily. Her walls encompassed him perfectly, stretching around his cock enough to still hold him in a tight grip without feeling too tight. He could feel them clenching down on his cock in a slow rhythm that proved how much she had needed their bodies to be joint this way.

Once Oliver had pushed in completely, he stilled. His eyes were still locked onto Felicity’s. She had opened her lips and though she was breathing slowly, Oliver could hear that she was close to panting. Her breathing trembled slightly whenever she released the breath from her lungs.

For a moment, Oliver’s world felt like it had stilled. It stopped spinning as he and Felicity continued to just look into each other’s eyes. It was a moment for their souls to bond which they probably did. Oliver could feel it in the tingling that spread all the way through his body like he could feel Felicity in every cell of it.

Eventually, his world started spinning again. He and Felicity moved together at the same slow. The first few thrusts were careful, exploring what it felt like to be together like this. Their hips shifted slightly while moving together, testing what was the most comfortable and the most pleasurable way to be together.

Weirdly, for Oliver, it didn’t feel like this was their first time. This felt like it was something familiar like their bodies already knew what it felt like to be together like this. Hence, it didn’t take them long to find a common rhythm and settle for it. It was slow and deep. Oliver pulled almost all the way out before he pushed back in just as slowly.

Time felt endless in the best way possible as their bodies just moved together. Their souls had been so deeply connected for so long that the connection of their bodies didn’t feel the slightest bit awkward. It just felt familiar and right.

The longer Oliver continued to push in and out of her in this slow rhythm, the more torturous it seemed to become to him. Felicity was moaning out loud whenever he buried himself inside of her, spurring him on more. She angled her hips, allowing him to push even deeper into her. The movement caused his pelvic bone to rub against her clit. The moan it elicited from her was too loud even for his lips to swallow.

The tingling at the back of his spine increased. Hearing her moan like this and feeling her hand tighten around his fingers in reaction to his movements just turned him on beyond belief. He was doing this to her. He was giving her this pleasure.

He loosened his hand from the headrest of the bed and moved it down her body slowly. He allowed his thumb to flick against her hard nipple briefly before it lowered even more. He spread his fingers against her ribcage, feeling it expanding as she sucked in a deep breath. At the height of her hip, he faltered for a short moment, considering to take a detour between their bodies, but he let his fingers continue down the side of her body to her knee. Pushing his hand behind her knee, he pushed it up, wrapping her leg around his hip.

The new position allowed his next thrust to go even deeper. He could feel Felicity’s walls fluttering around him. Her fingers clawed around his hand so firmly that her fingernails dug into his skin lightly.

Oliver dug his toes a little more into the mattress, giving him more leverage and more strength to trust. While he was still moving slowly, not willing to hurry anything up here, his movements gained strength.

By now Felicity’s breathing was so erratic that she had trouble to take in the oxygen she needed and still keep up with their frantic kisses. With a low growl, Oliver released her lips. While Felicity was sucking in a breath, he realized that his lungs were burning too. Felicity hadn’t been the only one who had needed to break the kiss.

Propping himself up onto his forearm slightly, Oliver took in her face. Felicity’s eyes were screwed shut. Her entire face showed deep pleasure. Her swollen lips looked incredibly tempting to Oliver. He would love to just kiss them again, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to take it. Tasting her again might be enough for him to lose the last bit of self-control he was still holding on to and just come.

He couldn’t let that happen though. Not as long as Felicity hadn’t reached her peak of pleasure yet.

Suddenly, Felicity’s eyes snapped open. Her eyes landed right on his, locking with them. There was deep recognition expressed in them like she could just see into his soul and recognized it in the way only she could.

He wasn’t sure if she could see the same expression mirrored in his eyes or if she could see something else there. Either way, her back arched even more now. Her chest pressed more against his, being so close now that he could feel the outline of every bone and every muscle against his chest.

His cock got buried inside of her wet heat even deeper. Her walls were fluttering around him so wildly now that he had to tighten his grip on Felicity’s hand to keep up his self-control. Instead of pulling back out of her, he just continued to push deeper and deeper into her now. It was a rubbing more than a thrusting movement. His cock pushed against all sides of her walls, stretching them and tickling them.

It was all Felicity needed. Her muscles tensed so much that her thighs pressed against his legs firmly, squeezing them. The next moment spasms ran through her body. The fluttering of her walls turned into an uncontrolled clenching. Although her eyes were still rested on his face, he could see that she was no longer focused on him. The expression in her eyes turned hazy while the pleasure was rushing through her veins.

With the sight of Felicity lost in pleasure and the tight hold her wet channel had on his length, Oliver couldn’t resist the tingling at the base of his spine any longer. With one more thrust, he buried himself inside of Felicity as deeply as possible.

“Felicity.”

Her name fell from his lips in a hoarse whisper. It felt incredibly natural to him, like her name was spreading through his body. She was in every cell of his body, filling his body and his mind. There was only them.

Feeling the last of his pleasure running through his body in waves, Oliver did his best to stay focused on Felicity. He focused on the way she was looking at him and the way she was holding onto his hand while the last waves of pleasure ran through her body.

He wanted to stay like this, so he thrusted in and out of her slowly. The rocking movements caused last spasms to run through her body. Sliding her hand into his hair, she pulled him down to her. Their lips met in a kiss. Oliver thought that it was going to be heated and sloppy, the exhaustion showing. Instead, it was a perfectly sweet and gentle kiss.

It was amazing. It was intimate It was their souls connecting once more over this newly found intimacy and amazingness. For a moment, it felt like everything was in its right place and everything was the way it was supposed to be. Until they broke the kiss.

The moment their eyes met, everything changed.

Oliver could feel the way Felicity tensed beneath him slightly. Her fingers loosened from his hand, and he could feel her pulling away. Gone was the expression of pleasure and warmth that had been in her eyes. What was left was an expression of shame or maybe guilt. He couldn’t say it with certainty as she was avoiding his eyes.

Quickly, Oliver let go of her hand. He propped himself up on his forearms and lifted his body off Felicity’s. He bit back a groan when his cock slipped out of her. As quietly as possible, he moved over to the mattress next to Felicity. She used the new mobility to quickly pull the blanket up her body, covering her from his view.

There was a moment of silence, an awkward silence he had never experience around Felicity before. They had been friends for so long and had been through so much together that there hadn’t been any room for awkwardness between them. Within the boundaries of their friendship, they had always been completely comfortable.

It was now that they had overstepped these boundaries that things were getting awkward between them. Friends just didn’t have sex and there were at least a million good reasons for that thought Oliver would lie if he claimed to know more than one right now. Except for the awkwardness that was between him and Felicity now, no other reason came to his mind.

Eventually, Felicity cleared her throat. Her voice was quiet when she said, “You can take the bathroom at the end of the corridor to clean yourself up. I will-“

Felicity didn’t finish her sentence. She nodded towards the ensuite bathroom before she tightened her hold on the blanket and climbed out of the bed. The blanket still wrapped around her body, Felicity disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth. He shot a look at the empty side of the bed. His fingers were tingling with the need to reach out his hand and feel the warmth Felicity’s body had left on the sheets. He decided it was better not to do that though he couldn’t say why exactly it was a bad idea.

After rubbing his hands over his face a couple of times, Oliver rolled out of bed too. With long steps, he went down the corridor and into the bathroom there. He had to push a pile of three moving boxes out of the way to even get inside.

Taking a brief look into the first box, Oliver grabbed a washing cloth and a towel. He cleaned himself quickly. Dropping towel and washing cloth to the floor then, he held onto the edges of the sink and looked at himself in the mirror.

When he had left the club tonight, he had felt drunk or at least a little tipsy. He felt completely sobered up now though. There was no alcohol manipulating his thoughts. His head was all clear now, clearer than it had probably been a in a long time which said a lot considering how many thoughts were flashing through his mind right now.

Oliver’s fingers tightened around the edge of the sink when he realized what he had to do. As awkward as it would be, he had to talk to Felicity about what had happened. With that kiss, it had solved a lot of the awkwardness that had been between them. Maybe it would help with whatever had happened here today too.

Sucking in a deep breath, Oliver straightened his shoulders. He regretted now that he hadn’t taken his boxer briefs with him. It would be a lot harder to start a serious conversation with Felicity when he was standing there in all his naked glory. Maybe there was a way to slip into his underwear before he had to start the conversation.

On his way back to the bedroom, Oliver tried to figure out what was the best way to start this conversation. He couldn’t say that he was successful with it, so he actually considered waiting outside of the bedroom for a moment until he had made a decision. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to make this decision though, so he just stepped back into the bedroom.

“Felicity, we-“

The moment he saw Felicity, he stopped. She was turned away from the door, curled up on her side under the blanket. She had put on a shirt, but her naked feet were dangling out from under the blanket. Her chest rose and fell in an even rhythm, telling him that she had probably fallen asleep.

“Felicity?” he whispered.

She didn’t answer. Her breathing didn’t even falter. Oliver guessed she really was asleep.

Standing in the frame of the door, he wondered what was the right thing to do. His eyes landed on his clothes that had been discarded on the floor. Putting them on and leaving might be the easiest thing to get out of this. He wouldn’t have to talk to Felicity before either of them reached out and that might not happen before at least most of the awkwardness had lived down. It would certainly make things easier.

He didn’t just want to leave though. It wouldn’t be fair, especially to Felicity and their friendship. He might have run out from a lot of girls, but he couldn’t do this here and now.

He thought about waking her up, so they could talk. She looked so peaceful and so relaxed though. Her blonde her was spread all over the pillow, making it look like a halo. He didn’t want to wake her up.

Oliver didn’t know how long he just stood there, watching back and forth between Felicity and his clothes. He had two choices, and neither of them looked exactly pleasing to him.

There was a part of him that new there was no right choice here. Every decision he would make would come back to bite him in the ass one way or the other. Running had always been his impulse in situations like these.

“Screw it.”

He whispered those words to himself as he felt the memory of what it had felt like to be with Felicity becoming alive again. He felt the tingling he had felt before spreading on his skin once more. He couldn’t help but smile at the feeling.

Oliver grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor and slipped into them. He crawled onto the bed and made himself comfortable next to Felicity. After a moment of hesitation, he shifted closer to her, wrapping an around her waist from behind to embrace her in the warmth of his body. They had already overstepped every possible boundary there had been between them, so this couldn’t hurt anymore.

Oliver got the weird feeling that his friendship with Felicity was over. He was definitely sure that the friendship they had had was over. He pushed that thought away for now though. It didn’t make sense to think about this right now though.

With a sigh, Oliver rested his head on top of his second arm. As he closed his eyes, Oliver could have sworn that Felicity was moving back against him until her back was rested against his chest. There was a part of him that was almost sure that she was awake.

Whether she was asleep or awake didn’t matter to him though. There was still time to talk tomorrow.

Tomorrow they could figure out what this had been and what this meant.

Tomorrow was good.


	11. Goya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, my friends! We are halfway through, but we are still so far from finished. ;)

_= The transporting suspension of disbelief that happens when fantasy is so realistic that it temporarily becomes reality (Urdu)_

 

She woke up to his lips on the side of her neck. They were brushing against her sensitive skin there, peppering sweet, little kisses along her carotid. His lips were barely touching her and yet his short stubble rubbed over her skin in the same way she had enjoyed so much last night already. It scratched and tickled her at the same time, creating the most delicious sensation that made a content sigh fall from Felicity’s lips.

Instantly, she shifted further back into Oliver’s embrace. His chest was pressed against her back so close that she could feel his abs through her shirt. His arms tightened around her body, pulling her even closer to him so she was completely caged in by his body now.

Felicity didn’t want it any other way. Wrapped up in the warmth of his body and the smell of his skin, she felt so protected and so content. Right now and right here, there was just them, and that was exactly what she wanted and needed. She actually felt her need for him grow already. Her center started prickling, needing to feel him again in that amazing way he had filled her last night.

They had only had sex once and yet the memory seemed to be carved into her being now. She could almost remember exactly what it had felt like to have Oliver’s cock stretching her inner walls and have him move in and out of her slowly. The bare memory of last night made her grow wet again, needing to feel it again. It was like a drug she had gotten addicted to from the first moment on.

Oliver seemed to remember their night together too because he angled his hips forward and pressed his groin against her ass. He was still wearing the boxer briefs he had put back on last night after he had been to the bathroom. They as well as her panties didn’t stop her from feeling how ready he was for another go though.

When Oliver’s left hand snuck down her body and moved beneath the hem of the shirt, she had quickly covered herself with last night, Felicity arched her back. Her butt pressed more against Oliver’s crotch and his hand got better access to her breast. He brushed his fingers against her nipple, stroking it and pulling at it lightly.

She had men trying to stimulate her breasts before, but neither had been even close to being as successful at it as Oliver had been in his first attempt. Maybe it was Oliver’s wide pool of experience that made him know exactly what to do or maybe it was the fact that they knew each other so well.

Maybe the fact that they knew each other so well was also the reason why his touch felt so familiar to her. Rationally, Felicity knew that it should still feel very new, but it didn’t do so. There was some familiarity with it that she had felt last night already and that came from somewhere deep within her.

They continued to move together slowly. Oliver’s cock rubbed against her behind, and she could feel him becoming even hotter and harder as she continued to turn him on. His kisses were still gentle, but he wasn’t peppering them to her skin anymore. Instead, he was exploring the side of her neck with his lips and his tongue, sucking at the more sensitive spots.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, but it didn’t allow her to hold back the moan she had felt rising in her throat already. With Oliver’s cock rubbing against her ass, his lips exploring her neck and his fingers playing with her nipple, it was impossible to hide those sounds of pleasure that came from everywhere inside of her.

Soon, Oliver was getting up on his hands and knees. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up her body until he could take it off. His eyes didn’t waver from hers as Oliver dropped the shirt onto the floor next to the bed. Neither did they waver when his fingers hooked into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down her legs.

He swirled the pink fabric around his forefinger for a moment and the sight made Felicity chuckle and shake her head. Oliver chimed into it.

Letting the panties join the shirt on the floor, Oliver lowered himself on top her. His lips captured hers in a hungry kiss that made his front teeth bury in her bottom lip and his tongue stroke against hers with passion. Felicity moaned against his lips, and Oliver swallowed the sounds eagerly like he had never done anything else in his entire life.

Felicity spread her legs a little more, encompassing Oliver’s hips with them. She lifted her hips a little to move against Oliver and rub herself against him. While she got the friction she needed with his boxer briefs rubbing against her clit in the most wonderful way, she wanted to friction of feeling his bare cock rub against her.

Slowly, Felicity moved her fingers down his back. She enjoyed the play of muscles beneath her touch, but she couldn’t let herself get distracted from going further down. Just when she pushed her fingertips beneath his boxer briefs, cupping his butt cheeks, Oliver broke the kiss though.

A low groan escaped Felicity’s lips. Opening her eyes, she frowned at Oliver. The smile he was flashing her though, the happiest of smiles, infected her. She smiled back at him immediately and it seemed to be all the reaction Oliver needed.

He shifted slightly, moving a little further down the bed. Felicity wanted to complain at first as his hips was moving away from where she felt her need for him grow with every second. The moment his lips made contact with her collar bone, all complains died in her throat though.

Releasing a soft sigh, Felicity closed her eyes. She just let herself feel all the wonderful sensations Oliver’s lips were making her feel. His heated mouth kissed down from her collar bone to her breast, his tongue tasting her skin. Felicity was already feeling highly aroused by it, especially since his breath ghosted over where his kisses had left some wetness on her skin and the cold feeling built a nice contrast to his hot kisses.

When his lips hovered over her nipple, Felicity squirmed from anticipation. He had already been so good at pleasuring her nipples with his fingers. She couldn’t imagine how good it had to feel to have his lips wrap around her breast and his tongue rubbing against her nipple. Her back arched, bringing her breast closer to his lips.

Oliver didn’t close the distance though, so Felicity opened her eyes to blink at him. She found his eyes looking at her with desire. There was a teasing glint there though, one that told Felicity that he had just waited for her to look at him.

Finally, he wrapped his lips around her nipple. His warm mouth encompassed it completely. With the rough top of his tongue, he rubbed her nipple. Felicity moan, arching her back even more. Her head fell back onto the pillow as she squeezed her eyes shut. With a tight grip, she grabbed a strand of his hair and tightened her fist around it to keep him in place.

Just like she had anticipated, he was even better with his tongue than he had been with his fingers. His tongue just added so many great sensations to it.

The pleasure seemed to shoot from her breast all through her body. Her core was aching to feel him inside of her again. She wanted him to thrust in deep and make her feel all the things she had felt last night.

“Oliver.”

His name escaped her lips in a pleading whisper. Her voice almost echoed through the room as a heavy silence followed. Last night, they had both been so lost in their pleasure already when they had said each other’s names. Now it was different. They were both aroused, but they weren’t anywhere near where they had been back then last night.

With held breath, Felicity waited for Oliver to do something. She wondered if this was the moment that they would stop and the little bubble of fantasy they had created around them would burst. Was now the time for their inevitable talk, the one they had been pushing away?

Last night, after they had been finished, Felicity had felt incredibly guilty and ashamed for what had happened. She had fled the situation as soon as possible and had pretended to be asleep when she had heard Oliver coming back. She hadn’t had wanted to talk about what had happened, and she hadn’t wanted to force Oliver in that kind of conversation either.

Just like she was holding her breath now, she remembered holding her breath last night. She had heard him coming back into the bedroom, and she had heard that he had been standing at the side of the bed, wondering what to do. Although a not too small part of her had wished that he would have just left, relief had spread through her veins when he had lain down and snuggled up to her.

Eventually, the tension in the room faded away. Oliver shifted even lower on the bed. He brushed his lips against upper abdomen before he started kissing a long path down her body. Felicity felt her core tingling more and more with the anticipation of where his lips were going. She shifted her hips, unable to keep them still.

When Oliver reached her belly button, there was another moment of silence. She remembered how he had dipped his tongue into her belly button last night. She had been to ticklish to withstand laughing, and it had completely broken the steamy atmosphere, at least for a brief moment.

Felicity didn’t know if Oliver remembered the same moment and kissed around her stomach because of that or if he just did it for other reasons. Either way, he continued kissing down her chest without dipping his tongue into her belly button this time.

Shifting even further down on the mattress, he eventually spread her legs with his hands and rested his head right between them. His cheek leaned against the inside of her thigh for a moment, and he blew a breath against her wet sex.

A long moan fell from Felicity’s lips. She arched her back, giving Oliver even more access to her center of pleasure. The anticipation was killing her by now. He had been so good with his tongue on her nipple. She was sure that he was even better with his tongue against her clit and inside of her core.

Soon, Oliver pushed both of his arms beneath her thighs and pulled her down the mattress towards his mouth. Resting his forearms on her hips, so she wasn’t able to move against him, Oliver closed his lips around her clit without warning. Felicity gasped for breath harshly, and she dug her fingernails into his skin as she grabbed his forearms tightly.

Just like with her nipple, Oliver rubbed his tongue against her clit. He started with the top that was rough, especially compared to that soft nubbin. Felicity tried to move her hips against Oliver’s mouth, but she couldn’t do so. Oliver’s strong arm was continuing to keep her down.

A frustrated groan escaped her, and she was almost sure that she could feel Oliver grinning against her core in response. She wanted to groan and call him some name – a braggart or an asshole or something like that – but nothing felt fitting. Besides, he sucked at her clit and it erased every word from her mind, replacing it with a long moan.

Soft trembled were already running through her body as Oliver’s tongue kept pleasuring her. Her skin was hot, and she felt a fine layer of sweat building and covering her skin. It did little to nothing to cool her down though. She only felt like it was making her feel hotter and hotter.

Eventually, Oliver let go of her clit. He licked a long path down to her entrance and plunged his tongue inside without warning. A jolt of pleasure rushed through her body. Her back wanted to arch once more, but again Oliver’s arm stopped her from doing so. She was unable to move as long as he was stopping her from doing so. All she managed was to squirm beneath his arm which did nothing to increase her pleasure.

His tongue settled for a quick rhythm, moving in and out her evenly. Whenever his tongue moved out, he rested the underside of his tongue against her entrance. It was a lot softer and sleeker than the rough top, but Felicity barely had time to process that impression. Oliver’s tongue was already thrusting back into her.

Felicity moaned. She could feel her pleasure increasing with every little movement of Oliver’s tongue. Her pleasure just increased and increased and increased. She was on the very edge, about to tip off any second. No matter how thoroughly his tongue licked her slick walls and stimulated her core, it just wasn’t enough. It was just keeping her right there on the edge, ready to fall off but not actually doing so.

It wasn’t until Oliver licked a long path from her entrance back to her clit and scraped his teeth against her clit that Felicity felt herself being pushed closer to the free fall of pleasure. She could almost feel herself falling over the edge in slow motion like she knew that she was going to fall off, but she couldn’t really feel the adrenaline kicking in yet.

Only when Oliver finally loosened his hold on her hips and let her move against his mouth, the world started spinning in normal time again. Her back arched so far off the mattress that the muscles in her back actually started aching. She couldn’t feel much of it through the hot haze of her pleasure rushing through her though.

Oliver’s tongue continued licking her sex lazily, taking her through the waves of pleasure. Every time the tip of his tongue brushed against her clit, another soft tremble went through her, making her body spasm.

As soon as Felicity came back to her senses, she moved her fingers into Oliver’s hair and pulled lightly. It was enough for him to realize what Felicity wanted though. Propping his weight up onto his hands, he moved back up the bed until his face was hovering over hers. He stayed there for a moment, just watching her with darkened eyes.

A smile spread on both of their lips right before Felicity put her hand to the back of his head and pulled him down towards her. Their lips met in a hungry kiss, and the fact that she could taste herself on him turned her on beyond belief.

Moaning against his lips, Felicity pressed her thigh to his. Oliver got the message and turned them around quickly. Sitting in bed with Felicity in his lap, they continued kissing for a long moment.

Soon, Felicity felt herself growing hungry for more. She moved her hips against Oliver’s rubbing herself against him through his boxer briefs. Meanwhile, her hands were moving down his body, enjoying the play of muscles beneath her fingertips.

When Oliver thrusted back against her, Felicity hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs. Oliver wiggled his hips until she could pull the fabric down his thighs and throw them across the room. His cock came to rest between her wet folds, making both of them moan out.

She could feel her core clamping down on emptiness, demanding to feel him inside of her, but Felicity resisted the urge to just position him at her entrance and slide down on him. She wanted to take her time and prolong the prickling feeling of anticipation.

Wrapping her legs around his hips to open herself for Oliver, she moved against him. Her hips were moving in a slow rhythm, making his cock press against her inner labia. The touch made both of them moan into each other’s mouth. Oliver’s large hands grabbed hold of her hips, guiding her movements, while Felicity was holding onto his shoulders to give herself more leverage for moving against him.

Slowly, Felicity moved her hands from Oliver’s shoulders down his back. Oliver’s skin was covered with a thin layer of sweat. It allowed her fingers to slight over his skin smoothly.

As Oliver’s cock continued to rub against her clit, Felicity couldn’t wait any longer. Breaking the kiss, she got up on her knees. She moved her hand down between the both of them, but Oliver was quicker. Grabbing hold of his cock, he positioned him at her entrance. Their eyes locked as Felicity sank down on him slowly.

Just minutes ago, she had thought to herself that she still remembered the feeling of having him inside of her. Her memory didn’t come close to the sensation she was feeling now. Oliver’s thick cock stretched her walls deliciously and it filled her in the best way possible.

Once he was settled deep inside of her, she stilled. She looked at Oliver’s eyes, seeing him looking at her with a kind of expression he had never seen on him before. It was more than lust. It was something else and though she couldn’t name the feeling, she could feel it being mirrored inside of her too. A hot fire was pooling in her stomach, and she could feel pockets of embers all over her body. It made every nerve in her body tingle.

As their lips met in another kiss, they started moving together. Felicity used the muscles of her thighs to just lift herself off Oliver’s lap slightly before she thrust back down. Oliver met her thrusts easily. His hands stroked up and down her back at the same time. Felicity didn’t miss that his hands were large enough to encompass all of her back. At least that was what it felt like.

Low moans filled the room, mixing with the quiet squeaking of the bed. Felicity couldn’t say why she was so amused by those little sounds, but she felt herself grinning against Oliver’s lips. Her hands moved up this face, cupping it, and she could feel that his dimples had returned. She definitely wasn’t the only one amused by this.

When a particular hard thrust made the bed squeak so loudly that it even drowned out their moans of pleasure, they broke apart. They were both chuckling, unable to hold back. They continued moving together though, so it didn’t take long for their laughter to turn into moans.

Felicity rested her forehead against Oliver’s and focused on nothing else but the feeling of having him thrust into her. She could almost feel the thick vein of his cock pulsating quickly, but she wasn’t sure if she was really feeling it or if she just imagined the feeling.

Either way, the thought of how turned on he had to be too just turned her on even more.

Felicity was still so very sensitive from her last orgasm that it didn’t take her long to feel her pleasure increasing. Every cell of her skin started tingling. Her walls clamped down on Oliver’s cock rhythmically. Her senses gave out as she was only focusing on her pleasure now. Pressing her chest closer to Oliver’s, she angled her head back and squeezed her eyes shut. Oliver’s lips kissed, nibbled and licked down her throat.

When Oliver held onto her hips tightly, making it unable for her to move, Felicity looked at him. He was grinning at her, while his hips thrust up into her particularly firmly. Felicity had trouble resisting the urge of letting her eyes roll back into her head. She managed to do so though and just continued looking at Oliver.

The tips of Felicity’s toes started tingling, a sure sign that she was so very close to her orgasm. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as she was anchoring herself to him. She was still fighting the urge to squeeze her eyes shut, but the expression in Oliver’s eyes fascinated her too much. She couldn’t look away.

She was still looking into his eyes when the pleasure spread through her. Waves of it ran through her body, making her body spasm. Her inner walls were pulsating around Oliver’s cock rhythmically now, sucking him in even more with every time they clenched around him.

Oliver was following her over the edge only a moment later. His cock jerked inside of her as he came with a guttural groan. Felicity captured his lips quickly, eagerly swallowing the sounds of pleasures that escaped him.

Their bodies were still moving together as they were enjoying the last waves of their pleasure. Oliver shifted down the bed a little until he could let his back fall back into the mattress. Felicity followed him, kissing him again.

They continued like that for a long moment, moving together lazily until they had both come down from their high. Felicity moved her hips, making Oliver slide out of her. They both groaned at the loss of contact, but it only made them deepen the kiss.

Felicity almost felt some kind of emptiness spreading inside of her without Oliver inside of her. It was crazy, but those two times she had felt him pushing into her more and more had been enough for her to make it feel like home. She felt like she needed him there to feel whole and the best she could be. It was irrational, and it didn’t make any sense, but it was what she was feeling.

Needing to catch her breath, Felicity broke the kiss eventually and a low sigh escaped her as she did so. Her eyes met Oliver’s briefly, and she smiled at the warm and happy expression she saw there, the expression that was always there when he looked at her. Just that it was even more intense now.

Her lips started tingling with the desperate need to kiss him once more, but she kept with a short peck to his lips. She knew her breathing and her heart couldn’t take more right now, no matter how much her lips wanted more.

Sliding down the bed a little, Felicity made herself comfortable. She stayed lying on top of Oliver, her chest pressed to his and her legs between both of his. A low sigh fell from her lips when her head came to rest on top of his chest, so she could hear his heartbeat. Slowly, she moved her hands up his arms to his shoulders. Her right hand stayed at his collar bone, while her left hand moved even higher to his cheek. The tips of her fingers stroked through his stubble, and she could feel his dimples there, making her smile.

Felicity shifted some more until she felt like she had found the most comfortable position to stay in. With a sigh, she snuggled her cheek to his chest and closed his eyes. Exhaustion was suddenly washing over her like warm water. She could just let it take her away with it so easily.

Oliver lifted his hands from the mattress. She could feel them hovering over her back without lying down there like he was unsure if he should touch her. Felicity held her breath, waiting for his decision. She didn’t know if her reaction prompted him to do so, but he rested his hands on her back eventually. His fingers spread on her skin, holding her to him and warming her. She felt completely wrapped into his warmth.

A long moment of silence passed as they just stayed like that. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them moved. Neither of them did anything. They just enjoyed this intimate moment of snuggling up in their postcoital bliss.

As much as Felicity didn’t want to think about what all of this meant, afraid that it would get too complicated, she couldn’t stop that little voice inside of her head to make itself audible. Last night, once she and Oliver had let go of each other, the little voice had been there too. It had asked her what the hell she thought she was doing there and how she could have let this happen. She and Oliver were best friends. Best friends couldn’t do something like this, at least not without risking their friendship.

Felicity had felt ashamed, called out by herself for what she had done. She had felt unable to look at Oliver again, so she had pretended to be fast asleep. Once he had snuggled up to her back, embracing her in the warmth of his body, Felicity had pushed all thoughts aside. She hadn’t wanted to think about anything, especially not about this.

She tried to push all thoughts away now too, but it didn’t work. Her heartbeat had calmed down by now, but it only meant that there was more energy for her thoughts to race.

Wasn’t this exactly what Carter had anticipated would happen eventually? That she and Oliver would spend an evening having fun, feeling safe thinking they were just friends, but that they would eventually slip? That it would just happened because they would be uncareful for just a second and they would forget to continue pretending that they were just friends?

_At the end of the day, you and Oliver love each other, Felicity. You can pretend that you don’t. You can pretend that you are just friends, but you won’t be able to keep lying to yourself and to each other forever. Not, without drowning us all in misery._

Carter’s words had been spinning in her head again and again since the night he had left her. She had lain awake for nights, letting them resound in her head and trying to make sense of them. So far, she still hadn’t been successful though.

This had happened. This last night had happened. Still, she couldn’t believe what Carter had said. She didn’t even want to think about it anymore.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut even more tightly, trying to push all thoughts out of her brain and focus on nothing but the feeling of lying here in Oliver’s arms. That little voice kept reproaching her for what had happened though, and Felicity was unable to turn it off or to relax with it in the back of her head.

Oliver seemed to sense her tension. His hands started moving on her back. They followed the line of her spine up to the back of her neck. He applied some pressure to the touch of his fingers, massaging the tight, little knots out of her muscles.

Smiling at his gentleness, Felicity turned her head. She kissed his chest before she snuggled her cheek back against it. Oliver pressed a kiss to the top of her head in response. It was soft and sweet, eliciting a quiet sigh from her.

Although Felicity was sure that there were a lot of thoughts racing in Oliver’s head too, he didn’t speak. Neither of them did. They weren’t ready to have any kind of conversation about what had happened last night or this morning.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity glanced at her watch. It was already past lunchtime. No matter how long she had been awake the night before, she couldn’t remember that she had slept this long since her youth. Even then she had only been able to sleep that long when Oliver had been lying next to her after sneaking up into her room.

The thought made her tense once more, so she pushed it away quickly. She wouldn’t think about anything that could possibly hold any hint on what this had been supposed to mean. She wasn’t ready to think about it yet or to make any decisions and face any consequences. All she wanted was to stay right here in this moment.

If she had to think about anything related to this, she would think about how surprisingly good the sex with Oliver had been. Since they had grown up together and gone to the same school, of course she had heard stories about him, but she hadn’t really thought that he was that good. Neither had she believed that they together could have good sex like that.

The thought made her chuckle though she couldn’t really say why. There was nothing really amusing about it, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“Why are you laughing?”

Felicity propped herself up onto her forearm and lifted her chest slightly, so she could look at Oliver. He was smiling with amusement though he was definitely confused about her laughter. When she dipped her fingertips into his dimples, he scrunched up his nose slightly, but he couldn’t contain a chuckle of his own now.

“I have no idea where the rumors come from that sex between friends can’t be good,” she said. “I mean we have been friends for so long, and the sex was still so good. It was so good like very, very good.”

Now Oliver chuckled too. “Yes, it was.”

“And you are really as good as the girls in school were saying.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, his grin widening. “What did they say? I want to hear every little detail.”

Felicity chuckled. Resting her elbow next to Oliver’s head, she propped up her own head on her hand. She puckered her lips and tried to think back about all the conversations she had overheard in the school yard or in the restroom or even in class. Oliver had been the most favorite subject to talk about for most girls in school.

“I heard that you were very creative,” Felicity said eventually, “and that you always took a lot of time for foreplay. I heard that you had a talent with you fingers and with your tongue. I heard that you had impressive stamina and-“

Oliver pushed an arm under his head and grinned, making Felicity stop. She slapped his chest, but it only made Oliver grin wider.

“You can go on, you know? I’ll listen.”

“You’re a terrible braggart. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

Oliver puckered his lips briefly before he replied, “You. In school. Daily.”

Felicity chuckled, remembering very well. Oliver had loved to display his muscles, showing the girls in school what he had to give. Most of the times, it had just made her roll her eyes and call him a braggart. It had always caused him to wrap his arm around her shoulders and tell her that he was sorry. He just couldn’t help himself.

“Funnily, I never heard any stories about you in bed.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Felicity rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t sleeping with half of the school.”

“I wasn’t sleeping with half of the school either.”

“Right. More like two-thirds.”

Oliver tickled her sides until she was kicking her feet and laughing. He used her distraction to turn them around, pushing her into the mattress beneath him, so she was caged in by his body and the bed in the best way possible. He nuzzled her nose briefly before he pulled back enough to look at her.

He started grinning like a particularly funny thought had crossed his mind. Felicity perked up her eyebrows, wordlessly prompting him to tell her what he was thinking about.

“I am pretty sure our mothers have been dreaming about this.”

Felicity scrunched up her nose and it seemed to be enough for Oliver to realize that maybe this wasn’t the best subject to bring up. If there was one thing she wanted to think about even less than what this could possibly mean, it was their mothers and how they were drinking tea and chatting about their kids having fun.

“Gross,” he added in a whisper. “Really gross.”

Rolling her lips into her mouth, she nodded her head. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was their mothers.

A long moment of silence followed. There was a mixture of awkwardness and heaviness in the air. They both knew that this would be the right time to talk about what had happened, but neither of them was ready for it.

Felicity didn’t know if it happened on accident or if Oliver was trying to distract from the situation. Either way, he shifted his hips and it caused his cock to move high against the inside of her thigh. Even if she had tried, Felicity couldn’t have bitten back that low moan that escaped her.

She knew it should be impossible to be in for more already. She had had two mind-blowing orgasms that had left her at least a little exhausted just minutes ago. Still, just feeling his cock there against her thigh, she wanted him again already. She had never felt that kind of deep desire for any man she had been with before. She had enjoyed sex, but she had never felt so needy for it.

Shifting her hips carefully, Felicity wrapped a leg around his hip loosely. It opened her to Oliver, making his cock fall right between her folds. She was still wet from their last encounter, so his cock slid back and forth between them easily.

They moved slowly and unhurried, rubbing together like that. Oliver lowered his head to kiss the side of her neck. His tongue licked down there, his tongue scraping against her skin occasionally.

Felicity moaned, arching her back a little. She was already feeling so incredibly good again. She could feel her hunger grow again.

Her fingers had already moved into his hair, about to pull his head back and capture his lips with hers when-

“What’s that?”

“My phone,” Oliver mumbled against her skin, groaning the two words. “Ignore it.”

Felicity tried to ignore it. She tried to just lean back and relax, just enjoying Oliver’s lips and tongue on her skin. The shrill beeping of his phone continued just like the annoying buzzing of its vibration.

“It might be important.”

Again, Oliver groaned. The vibration of his lips against her neck made Felicity moan out loud. It felt incredibly good.

“It’s the weekend. Nothing important ever comes up as the weekend,” Oliver told her though Felicity was convinced that he just didn’t want her to stop him from ravishing her neck. “Just ignore it.”

Once more, Felicity tried to do as Oliver had suggested. She tried to relax. As much as she tried, she really couldn’t get over her annoyance about this though. Lifting her head from the pillow, she glanced at the display of his phone-

-and felt her heart going out.

“It’s McKenna.”

Felicity pushed at Oliver’s shoulder, making him roll off of her. She sat up in bed quickly and grabbed her morning robe from the chair next to the bed. Her back still turned to Oliver, she put it on quickly. She made sure that the fabric was wrapped around her tightly before she knotted the belt of the morning gown. She knotted it so tightly that the belt kept her from taking in a deep breath. It didn’t let her expand her ribcage as much as she might need.

With held breath, she waited for Oliver to move or say something. Since the phone was still ringing and buzzing, he had to make a decision now.

The mattress dipped slightly before he took the call. “Oliver Queen.”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut tightly, sucking in a deep breath. There was a burning ache in her chest, and it worked itself up her throat. The last thing Felicity wanted was to start crying though, so she formed her hand to a tight fist and dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand as firmly as possible. The physical pain distracted her from the confusing emotions that were running through her.

In the back of her mind, Felicity had known that this moment would come. As much as she had tried to block out all thoughts about the life outside this bedroom, they had always found a way to sneak into her head. Still, it felt like only now that the little bubble they had created around themselves had burst, Felicity was able to feel the full extent of consequences.

Guilt and regret were spreading all through her body. What they had done had been a hundred different kinds of wrong. What they had done had hurt a lot of people. What they had done should have never happened.

“Yeah, sorry.” Oliver cleared his throat, and Felicity could almost feel his eyes on her. “I took Felicity home and… I guess I fell asleep here. I didn’t want you to worry.”

Felicity felt terrible for McKenna. She had been the first of Oliver’s girlfriends to ever be nice to her. Felicity actually liked McKenna. She was smart and tough and really, really nice. She was exactly the kind of girl she had always wished Oliver would find and that she was sure his parents and probably even Oliver himself had always wished he’d find.

She didn’t deserve something like this.

A wave of nausea rose inside of Felicity at the thought of how betrayed McKenna had to feel if she ever found out about this. She had found the man of her dreams, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Knowing that he had made this terrible mistake had to hurt her beyond belief.

“No, I’m-“ Oliver cleared his throat once more. “Sorry, I am still a little sleepy. I guess I just had too much to drink last night.”

God, they had had way too much to drink last night. Otherwise, this would have never happened. They would have never made this terrible mistake.

_Terrible mistake. Terrible mistake. Terrible mistake._

The words continued echoing through Felicity’s head. They repeated there again and again until the words barely sounded like such anymore. They sounded like arbitrary syllables, nothing that really held meaning.

Only that they did hold meaning. They held a lot of meaning actually.

“No, it’s fine,” Oliver said, still talking to McKenna. “I will just call myself a cab and- I’ll be home soon. Yeah.”

There was a moment of quiet. Felicity could hear her heart beating loudly, thrumming against her ribcage with force. Her fingers clawed around the neckline of her morning gown as she was trying to hold it together.

“Okay. See you later.” There was a moment of hesitation. “Love you too.”

Silence spread once more. Felicity was sure that he had hung up the phone by now. She turned her head back over her shoulders slightly, just enough for her to see Oliver from the corner of her eye. He was sitting at the edge of the mattress, his head lowered and his hand wrapped around the phone so tightly that the knuckles of his fingers were turned white.

Neither of them spoke. The silence in the room continued to grow heavier. Felicity felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. The tension in the room wrapped around her chest and pressed down on her lungs, not giving them the room that they needed to expand for a deep intake of breath.

The words that were needed here, the ones that were already echoing in her head, were inevitable though. They were hanging in the air between them, filling the room. They just needed to say them out loud.

“This has been a terrible mistake.”

She whispered the words, her voice barely louder than a breath. Still, the words sounded as loud as a scream. They ripped through the silence like a knife ripping through some fabric, leaving destruction in its wake.

“Yeah,” Oliver whispered in agreement. “You’re right.”

Felicity nodded to herself slowly. She swallowed hard, but it didn’t help her to gulp down the thick lump in her throat. It was still there.

“What are we gonna do now?”

Oliver’s question filled the room to an extend that Felicity felt like she was going to choke. Her troubles breathing got worse with every second, and she almost felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“I suggest-“ Felicity had to clear her voice to get rid of the raspy feeling inside of her throat that made it almost impossible for her to speak. “I will get under the shower now. When I am back, you won’t be here anymore, and we will never ever talk about any of this again. Night never happened.”

Oliver didn’t reply immediately which gave Felicity the opportunity to take some more breaths. She was more than relieved to have the chance to recover. Even sitting here at the edge of the bed, she could feel her legs trembling so heavily that she knew she wouldn’t be able to get up on her feet and walk over to the bathroom.

As Oliver continued to stay quiet, she turned her head back over her shoulder once more. She found Oliver’s eyes on her already, his gaze intent, and looked away quickly. She couldn’t look him in the eyes right now.

Eventually, Oliver cleared his throat. “If that is what you want.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue hard. She knew that Oliver was pushing the responsibility towards her. He probably didn’t want to hurt her or their friendship. He knew as well as she did that none of this should have happened though.

Not saying a word, Felicity just nodded her head. It was what was right.

Her legs were still shaking slightly when she tiptoed to the bathroom. She didn’t look back and she didn’t say anything more. She didn’t dare to. All she wanted was to get this walk of shame behind her as quickly as possible.

As soon as she had closed and locked the door behind her, Felicity turned on the water of the shower. Holding onto the glass of the door, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub. With held breath, she listened to what was happening outside of the bathroom.

Several minutes passed that she couldn’t hear anything. She almost started believing that Oliver had changed his mind and would wait for her to come back outside and talk which probably meant that she had to hide here forever.

Before that fear or hope or whatever it caused her to feel had the chance to really spread inside of her, she heard the front door downstairs falling shut though.

Emptiness filled her chest as quiet filled the room. Only the rushing of water was to be heard. Steam gathered in the air. A tight feeling formed in Felicity’s throat. It made it hard to breathe for a moment until, finally, a heart-wrenching sob fell from her lips.

Her friendship with Oliver as she had known it was over.


	12. Won

_= The reluctance of a person’s part to let go of an illusion (Korean)_

 

Mondays were always hard, but this one was particularly hard on Oliver.

With a deep sigh, Oliver turned around to the sink and poured away his coffee. He had barely taken a sip from it, unable to take in anything. His stomach was protesting at the prospect of any food or drink right now like it had been protesting at the prospect at taking in anything for the last couple of days already.

Since Saturday morning, he hadn’t been able to eat anything. He hadn’t been able to sleep. He hadn’t been able to be productive. Even going out for a run hadn’t helped as he had barely been able to run before he had had to stop. His running had been uneven since he hadn’t been able to focus on keeping his pace. Within a couple of minutes, he had felt out of breath and he had had to stop.

Less than forty-eight hours had passed since he had left Felicity’s new home after a night of passionate sex, followed by a morning of a wonderful redo. Ever since it had happened, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Even though he had tried to ban those memories from his brain, they had snuck their way back into his thoughts.

Grabbing the edges of the countertop tightly, Oliver squeezed his eyes shut. Shaking his head slowly, he let his chin fall onto his chest. A long breath of defeat escaped him as his fingers tightened around the wooden top of the kitchen counter.

He had hoped that keeping his eyes squeezed shut would help him to keep his thoughts focused. He wanted to focus on the black he saw in front of his closed eyes. He wanted to focus on nothing at all. All squeezing his eyes shut did was take him back to that night that had probably changed everything he had thought he had known in life.

Since Felicity had stepped into his life, suddenly living with him and his parents in the mansion and stealing his father’s attention and playing with all of his toys, she had been his best friend. They hadn’t exactly grown up like siblings, but it was very close to that and Oliver had always considered Felicity to be as close to him as a sister. It wasn’t blood that made them family though. It was a choice their souls had made upon meeting, the choice to be best friends for a lifetime.

Best friends were what they had always been. Best friends were what they were supposed to be. Best friends were what they would always be supposed to be.

And best friends shouldn’t have sex with each other.

Oliver released another deep sigh. Resting his elbows on the kitchen counter, he hid his face in his hands and thought back to that night and that morning.

Oliver knew that what they had been wrong had been a thousand times of wrong. It should have never happened because it had probably just destroyed everything that he and Felicity had built over the last twenty years. And for what?

Sleeping with her, everything inside of him at screamed at him that it was wrong to do this. At least for a while it had. It hadn’t taken long for his thoughts to be drowned by the sensations of being so close to Felicity and touching her in all the new ways.

It hadn’t felt exactly right because there had always been a little voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that this couldn’t be right. He hadn’t completely understood it, but it had kept him from feeling too comfortable , but it had never felt wrong either.

Well, it hadn’t felt wrong until the moment McKenna had called.

A wave of nausea hit Oliver with a force that didn’t really surprised him, not after these last hours. His stomach cramped badly and he groaned in response to the feeling.

“Everything alright?”

Oliver almost flinched at the sound of McKenna’s voice. He turned around quickly, finding her walking down the stairs towards him. She was wearing one of her sexy negligees. The hem of the steel blue silk played around the mid of her thigh. The neckline was deep enough to usually get his imagination spinning.

Today, Oliver doubted that anything could get his imagination spinning. His head was spinning, but it was a completely different kind of spinning. It only made his head ache.

It took a lot of Oliver to take in a deep breath and straightened back up. The movement made his muscles tense and he was sure that it caused the smile that he tried to shoot McKenna to look terribly stiff. He hadn’t been able to be anything but tense and stiff since her call had ripped him from the illusion of whatever he had thought he had had with Felicity. At least for that one brief moment.

“Hey,” he said, his voice breathy from emotion. “Why are you awake?”

McKenna had come home from her shift two hours ago. He had been lying awake, unable to sleep like he had been unable to sleep the night before already. His thoughts had been spinning, and he had just stared at the ceiling. As soon as he had heard McKenna, he had closed his eyes and pretended to be fast asleep though. He had waited until her breathing had evened out next to him, telling him that she had been asleep before he had escaped their bed to get ready for work.

He had hoped that he wouldn’t have to talk to McKenna again before heading out for work where he would have to see Felicity and deal with the consequences of their mistake. He had that tiny hope that maybe he and Felicity came to some kind of understanding, agreeing that all of this had been a mistake that they could just laugh about once the words were out in the air. Maybe if that happened, he could finally look McKenna in the eyes again.

“I just… woke up I guess,” McKenna said, frowning slightly. She shook her head with a low chuckle soon though. “I figured since we won’t see each other as long as I am working the night shift, I could interrupt my sleep for five minutes to get a kiss.”

She stopped only a couple of feet away from him, cocking her head and puckering her lips.

Usually, Oliver would chuckle at that. He would frame her face with his hands, make a joke about never wanting to make a cop angry and kiss her. None of that felt like the right thing to do right now though. He felt too guilty.

McKenna was looking at him intently, waiting for him to lean in and kiss her. As much as Oliver knew it was wrong to pretend like nothing had happened, he couldn’t have any conversation about how weird he had been acting the last few days. At least he couldn’t have this kind of conversation right now.

Clearing his throat, Oliver took a step forward. He rested a gentle hand on McKenna’s hip and leaned in for a kiss. He meant it to be a peck, a sweet little kiss to her lips. The moment their lips touched, McKenna framed his face with her hands and held him right there though.

Everything inside Oliver was screaming that this was wrong. He felt so guilty that he couldn’t bare McKenna’s touch never mind her kiss. He didn’t feel worthy of it because he hadn’t done anything to deserve this kiss in a long time.

When McKenna pulled back, she smiled at him softly. Oliver tried to smile back at her, but he didn’t think that it reached his eyes. If the way McKenna’s facial expression changed was any kind of indication, she could look right through it though. He lowered his eyes quickly.

These past days, he had tried to hide his confusion and his guilt from McKenna. As long as he hadn’t talked to Felicity, he hadn’t been able to talk to McKenna about what had happened. He knew that he had to tell her eventually. It wouldn’t be fair to leave her in the dark about what had happened as it would take away her change of deciding how to deal with his mistake.

So far, Oliver just hadn’t found the right time to tell her though. He hadn’t been ready to yet as he hadn’t been able to completely fathom what had happened yet.

There was a small part in Oliver that was shaking its head at his thoughts, already knowing that there was a not too small chance that maybe he would never tell McKenna about that night at all.

When Oliver finally met McKenna’s eyes again, she almost expected her to ask what was going on with him. He knew he wouldn’t be allow to look her in the eyes and lie to her, saying everything was okay. Maybe he wasn’t ready to say the truth just yet, but he knew he couldn’t lie about it either.

He could lie by omission. That was it.

“Are you going to shave before our wedding?”

Oliver had to bite back a breath of relief that threatened to escape him. McKenna wasn’t suspecting what was going on with him. She was caught up in her pre-marital bliss like Oliver should be too.

With a low groan, Oliver scrunched up his nose. Losing his stubble was not really something he considered. He liked it like this, especially because he looked incredibly young and weird without. McKenna might not agree with that, but he knew that Felicity-

“I have to head out to work now,” Oliver said quickly and cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” McKenna said with a soft smile. She pecked his lips once more and took a step back. “Are you home early enough for us to have dinner together? I could cook a little something or-“

“I don’t think I will make it in time.” Oliver massaged the back of his neck with one hand. “I have some late appointments and I really need to meet John for some training. I am going crazy if I don’t get a chance to clear my head soon.”

McKenna cocked her head. “Is everything alright?”

_No. No, nothing was alright._

“Sure.” Oliver smiled briefly and pecked McKenna’s lips once more. “Just a lot of work to do. We will talk as soon as you are changing back into some other shift and my work schedule lightens a little.”

McKenna hesitated briefly, before she smiled. “Alright.”

“Alright.” Oliver nodded his head. “See you.”

With that, he turned around. He grabbed his briefcase from where he had left it next to the door and slipped out of the loft before either of them could say anything more.

As the door fell shut behind him, a long breath he hadn’t known he had been holding escaped Oliver. With closed eyes, he leaned back against the door for a moment to recover from this conversation.

He had no idea how he was supposed to live with this guilt. He felt terrible looking McKenna in the eyes and pretending everything was alright, but he didn’t feel courageous enough to tell her the truth about what had happened either. Just thinking about Felicity made him incredibly nervous, thinking he could get caught any second.

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and straightened up. He had to focus on getting through this day and maybe, just maybe he was lucky enough to find a solution. He kind of doubted it though.

On the way down into the underground parking, Oliver pushed the thought of Felicity and McKenna and everything that had and probably would happen aside. He had an important day ahead of himself, so he had to focus on work. If he just focused on it enough, maybe it would help him to forget about the crappy situation he had gotten himself into at least for a short time.

His hope didn’t last long though. While he was heading towards Queen Consolidated in his car, trying to recall his schedule and the mental to-do list he had made for himself, pieces of memory flashed through his mind. As much as he tried to push them out and just focus more on what he had to do at work, it didn’t help at all. He was powerless when it came to those memories.

Eventually, Oliver decided to just allow himself to think back to that day. It wasn’t like he had any choice anyway.

As much as he had tried to wrap his head around what had happened, Oliver still didn’t entirely get it. He remembered walking Felicity home and feeling as comfortable around her as he always had. He remembered that they had teased each other after what she had said about Carter’s suspicion that there was something more going on between them.

Suddenly, the situation had shifted. He had been looking at Felicity and there had been a heavy moment like there never had been between them before. Oliver still hadn’t found the right words to describe what exactly had been going on inside of him. All he knew was that he had been drawn towards her and her lips soon. Then their lips had brushed together and as he had kissed her.

Kissing her, he had immediately known that he wanted more.

Oliver’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel when he remembered the feeling of passion running through his body. Every cell in his body had been filled with that feeling, driving him to deepen the kiss, to touch her in ways he had never had and to move in unison with her in all the ways they never had.

There had been a thousand different feelings taking hold of Oliver. He couldn’t name a single one of them. He couldn’t even understand a single one of them. They had just been a confusing mess inside of his chest.

Looking back, Oliver didn’t know what to think of that night. The sex had been awesome, more than awesome. Oliver had no words to say how great sex with her had been. All he could say was that it had been great enough for him to want her again as soon as he had woken up the next day.

Still, it hadn’t been right. As right as it might have felt in that moment, it hadn’t been right. How could it have been right given the promise he had made to McKenna weeks ago and given all the plans they had made together these last weeks?

Directing the car into the parking lot of the underground parking of Queen Consolidated, Oliver turned off the engine. Resting his head back against the headrest of the seat, he closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face.

He felt incredibly tired and unfocused. He had no idea how he was supposed to get through the day. He didn’t know if he wanted to run into Felicity or avoid her either. He didn’t know anything right now.

Oliver knew he wouldn’t get any better, but he couldn’t go back either. Going back would only make McKenna know that there was something going on. He couldn’t have that.

Taking in the umpteenth deep breath today, Oliver got out of the car and headed towards the stairs. He greeted some of his employees briefly, barely able to manage a smile. Reaching the ground floor, he considered taking the rest of the stairs to the executive floor at the top of the building. He didn’t want to run into certain people yet and maybe the climb up there would help to get rid of some of the tension.

He doubted that the people he would have to meet today would be happy if they had to sit through a meeting, smelling his sweaty clothes. Straightening his shoulders, he opened the door to the large foyer.

He could see at least ten people he didn’t want to talk to right now. His gaze shifted to the executive elevators. The doors were just about to close, so he sprinted over towards them and pushed in through the gap by the last second.

“Sorry, I-“

The moment his eyes met Felicity’s, he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. His heart skipped a beat before it started racing in his chest and pounding against his ribs. The sound seemed to fill the small cage of the elevator.

He could see the same kind of shock he was feeling being mirrored in her eyes. Felicity sucked in a deep breath, every muscle in her body tensing visibly. She was just as prepared to talk to him as he was prepared to talk with her which was not at all.

“I- I forgot-“

Oliver gestured back behind his shoulder for a moment, and not even he himself was sure what it was supposed to mean. When he turned around to get away out of here and away from Felicity as quickly as possible, the doors closed right in front of him. He pushed the button to make the door open several times. It didn’t work though. He was locked into the small cage with Felicity.

For a long moment Oliver stared at the digital display over the doors. The numbers were increasing terribly slowly while the elevator was taking them upstairs in what felt like slow motion. Looking at where Felicity was still standing frozen into place from the corner of her eyes, Oliver swallowed down hard.

Quickly, looked back at the display. The numbers had always arrived at 28 which just couldn’t go fast enough. Oliver already knew that the moment the doors would open, he would mumble some apology and walk away as quickly as possible. He would need at least an hour to recover from this encounter.

The digital numbers had just changed to 25 when the elevator came to an abrupt stop. A shrill sound rang through the small cage. As if the sound alone wasn’t bad enough to endure, Oliver felt his stomach twist and turn painfully at the meaning of it.

“The elevator got stuck,” Felicity stated the obvious, her voice sounding nervous.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Oliver leaned over to the panel and pushed the emergency button. He shot a prayer to heaven that the control room was staffed and someone was taking care of this quickly.

“Good morning, Mr. Queen. Good morning, Ms. Smoak,” the friendly voice of their facility manager echoed through the small cage of the elevator. “I am sorry for the inconvenience. I am sure this won’t take long. It never does. We are already working on getting the elevator to work again, and I called a mechanic to finally find a longtime solution for this.”

It wasn’t what Oliver had hoped for, but he guessed it was the best news there could be. They could as well be stuck here all day. It wouldn’t be the first time the executive elevator was playing its random game of locking people in here for hours.

“Thank you, Harrison,” Felicity said.

“Yeah, thank you,” Oliver repeated and nodded his head.

For several minutes, Oliver stayed where he was. Felicity, who hadn’t moved an inch since he had stepped into the cage with her, was standing so close to him that he could almost feel her breath against the back of her neck. It made his heckles rise and his fingers rubbing together in his usual nervous tick.

Watching Felicity from the corner of his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally touch her, Oliver started moving back. He made a weird movement that almost caused him to twist his muscles. He just tried to move around Felicity as far as possible. He didn’t want to make the situation any more awkward than it was already.

When his back bumped against the cold wall of the cage, Oliver stopped moving. He took in a deep breath, trying to breathe as quietly as possible. He felt like even a little sound that was too loud could make this situation even more awkward. Hell, everything could make this situation more awkward although it already felt like it should have reached the peak of what should be possible.

The silence between them continued, growing heavier with any second.

Oliver had lost all sense for time. He didn’t know if they had been sitting there for hours or if only some seconds had passed since the elevator had gotten stuck. Either way, Oliver felt like he couldn’t endure the silence any longer. Doing nothing would make this only more awkward, just like doing the wrong this would be. Actually, Oliver doubted that there was a right thing to do in this situation.

“I-“ Oliver had to clear his voice, but it didn’t help to make it sound more like him through the hoarseness. “I didn’t tell McKenna yet.”

The moment the words had fallen from his lips, Oliver wanted to tear out his hair. Of all the things he could have possibly said, this had probably been the most stupid one to say. Oliver wished he could take them back and try a second time, but he knew there was no second chance here.

Silence spread between them once more. Oliver almost believed that Felicity hadn’t heard him because she showed absolutely no reaction. She continued standing there, silent and unmoving.

“Felicity?”

Felicity turned her head slightly, tuning it back just enough so she could probably see him from the corner of her eyes.

“I thought we agreed never to talk about this again. To anyone.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath. Just like his voice before, Felicity’s didn’t sound like herself either. She sounded tired and breathy like he had barely ever heard it before. He was sure that he hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t found sleep these last nights.

“So, I am not going to tell her?”

Another stupid question, Oliver thought to himself. This shouldn’t have been the question he asked. There were at least a thousand other questions that were better to ask. He had never been good with words though. If there were two possibilities to reply, Oliver always chose the wrong one. It had always been like that and Oliver doubted that it would ever change.

Felicity turned her head forward again, so he couldn’t see her face. She had her face lowered to the floor slightly, and Oliver was sure that he could see her trembling slightly. Felicity was just as nervous as he was.

“What good would it do?” Felicity asked in an urgent whisper. “You love each other, and you want to get married in a couple of weeks. What happened that night was a mistake, and it was meaningless. We were just drunk.”

_We were just drunk._

Her words echoed through his head as Oliver thought back to that night. He had had a fair share of drinks. The party Felicity had planned for him had been the kind of party where you always had a drink in your hand. At least Oliver had never missed a drink that evening. Maybe the reason for that was just that he had taken his time with the drink and hadn’t just knocked them back like a lot of the guests there had.

The flashes of memory about that night were replaced by his memories of what had happened that morning in her bed. He had woken up and he had just known that he had wanted and needed her. Nothing could have stopped him from kissing down the side of her neck that moment, exploring what her soft skin felt like against his lips once more. When Felicity had woken up, they had just given into whatever there had been between them.

“We haven’t been drunk that morning.”

Maybe for the first time Oliver said something wrong. He said those words and they sounded incredibly loud in the small cage of the elevator. Still, they didn’t make his stomach clench so badly that he felt like he needed to throw up.

“We haven’t,” Felicity agreed, her voice so quiet that Oliver didn’t dare to move because he was sure that any sound would be louder than her voice. “We were drunk when we first had-“

Felicity stopped. The words she couldn’t say were echoing through the small room between them nonetheless. They didn’t have to be said out loud to be heard between them.

“We were drunk that night,” Felicity continued eventually. “When we woke up that morning, our brains were just spinning from the amazing se- from the things we did the night before. We weren’t thinking clearly, so it happened again. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t drunk that morning because at the end it just comes back to the alcohol of the night before.”

In all the years Oliver had known Felicity, she had always been the rational one. She had tried to make sense even into the most irrational situations and she had always managed to do so. This was the first time that Oliver felt she was making a huge mistake in her rational explanations, the kind of mistake that made all the explanations illogical.

Oliver wondered whether he should tell Felicity about this or if he should just ignore it. He knew how much safety she gained through logic. She was afraid of things she couldn’t explain logically because they were out of anyone’s control. While Felicity believed in a God, Oliver knew she had trouble giving him the power of her life. He understood that feeling.

Still watching Felicity closely, Oliver knew he had to say the words. Right now, there was just the two of them here. This might be the last possibility he had to tell the truth because he knew, as soon as they were leaving this elevator, neither of them would ever talk about that night again. It was the deal here.

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

He said the words slowly. He knew he needed to say them, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted anyone to hear them. There was too much that could forever be destroyed just because he was saying the truth.

Although Felicity tried to hide her reaction, he knew that she had heard him. Her fingers were rubbing together the same way his were, the thumb moving back and forth over the tip of the other fingers. She had been the first to ever point this nervous tick of his out to him, and she had adapted it from him years ago.

“Neither was I.”

Felicity’s voice made Oliver’s breath hitch for reasons he couldn’t really understand. He stared at her, trying to find any reaction, but she kept her back turned towards him and her face hidden. All he could see was the back of her head with her neatly done ponytail that had become a symbol for her a long time ago.

When Felicity finally showed some reaction, it was a deep intake of breath. Oliver could hear how much she was struggling to take that breath in. Her breath was trembling and he almost believed that he could see her shoulder shaking slightly.

“It doesn’t change anything though.”

It was the first time that Felicity’s voice was firm today. There was no doubt that she believed in what she was saying.

Oliver nodded his head. He knew Felicity was right. She always was. This was no difference.

“You’re right,” he whispered eventually. “It doesn’t change anything.”

For the first time since the elevator had gotten stuck, Felicity turned her head back over her shoulder enough to lock eyes with him. Their eyes met, and Oliver could see the toll that night and this conversation had taken on Felicity. Her face was almost white. Her bottom lip was trembling slightly.

Felicity looked at Oliver’s face closely. For a second, he wondered if she was looking for any doubt in his face. While Oliver might not be entirely convinced of Felicity’s logic, he sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head slowly. What had happened that night had been bad enough as it was. He didn’t want to make it any worse for her by taking away the logic she was clawing onto the desperately, especially given how little he really knew what was going on here either.

Eventually, Felicity seemed to have find the lack of doubt she had been searching for in his face. She nodded her head slowly, nodding it again and again. She shot him the slightest of a smile before she turned back and away from him.

Time passed on. For the umpteenth time, silence spread between them. It was a heavy silence, one that would need at least a million words to fill it. Oliver and Felicity both stayed silent though, not knowing what they could possibly say to fill this silence and taking away from the heavyweight it was leaving them with.

The elevator stayed stuck. It didn’t move. Neither did Oliver or Felicity move. Everything stayed still like the world had stopped turning.

Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth. He didn’t know what else to say. All words that needed to be said had been said already or they couldn’t be said anymore now.

Continuing to look at Felicity’s ponytail, Oliver felt a thousand thoughts flashing through his mind. Not for the first time since that morning he had left Felicity’s home, Oliver wondered what would happen with their friendship now. They had found an agreement how to deal with this situation, but Oliver wasn’t sure if that was enough to save their friendship.

These last two days had been weird. He had been thinking about Felicity nonstop. Still, not seeing her and not talking to her had just been incredibly hard. He had gone through several weeks of not talking to Felicity and through years of not seeing her. The feeling that he couldn’t see her and couldn’t talk to her had been knew to him though.

As much as Oliver knew that it was a bad idea, he took a step forward. His chest wasn’t yet touching Felicity’s back. Still, it was close enough for him to feel the warmth of her skin. He times his breathing with hers and when they took in a breath at the same time, her shoulder blades brushed against the top of his chest slightly.

Looking over her shoulder, Oliver could see Felicity biting down on her bottom lip. She was struggling with the decision what to do now. There was a fight in her face that Oliver recognized all too well. He was feeling it burning in his chest too.

With some hesitation, Oliver moved his hand forward until his fingers brushed against Felicity’s. He could feel her moving out of reach and he was about to pull his hand back, regretting his decision to touch her, when Felicity moved her fingers back against his and laced them through his.

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath of relief. It felt incredibly good to touch her again. Her skin was as soft as he had remembered it, and it let his calloused thumb stroke over the back of her hand in small circles.

Still, neither of them said a word. They didn’t even look at each other. Their fingers just held onto each other while they were breathing in synch with each other.

Life wasn’t the same without his best friend at his side. These last two days had reminded him of all the time he and Felicity had spent at different sides of the US after she had left to go to college. Only this time it had been a thousand times worse because he hadn’t even been able to just call her and ask her what was going on in her life just to hear her voice.

When Felicity had come back to Starling, he had thought he’d get his best friend back forever. Now it felt like he might have lost her forever. And for what?

Oliver rested his forehead on Felicity’s shoulder and he could feel her taking in a deep breath in response. Her fingers grabbed his even more tightly like she wanted to comfort him though Oliver got the feeling that Felicity didn’t have much energy to comfort him either as she was fearing for their friendship too.

“I miss you.”

Oliver whispered the words, mumbled them against her shoulder.

While Felicity had traveled the country and tried to gain as much experience in IT as possible, he had missed her too. She had been so far away from her, and he had missed the possibility to just climb into bed with her and have quiet pillow talks all through the night. He had missed seeing her and talking to her on a daily basis. He had missed the chance to just wrap his arms around her and hug her.

Now Felicity was standing right here with him. He could do all the things he had missed those years of being apart from her. Yet, she felt more unreachable than ever and Oliver had no idea what to do about it.

“We need to stop this,” Felicity whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “This is crazy.”

Felicity was right. This was crazy. All those years their parents and other people had said there was something between them, he and Felicity had rolled their eyes and made fun about it. They had always been the closest best friends the earth had probably ever seen and they were destined to be exactly that.

Everything else was just crazy.

“We need to find our way back to being the good friends we were,” Felicity continued after a moment. “We are friends. We are best friends. That is what we are supposed to be.”

Oliver nodded his head against her shoulder slightly though he wasn’t sure if that was possible. As much as he knew it was right, he just felt like they might have crossed some borders that they couldn’t get back from now. He couldn’t allow that thought and its consequences to spread in his head though.

The silence between them continued for a long moment as they were both making a promise to themselves to find their way back to their friendship. It was the only way for them to still be in each other’s life. They had to remember what they were supposed to be and focus only on making it back to that.

When the elevator continued moving with a yank, Oliver and Felicity moved apart quickly. Oliver’s back hit the wall at back of the cage. The noise the bump created, made Felicity turn her head back over her shoulder and look at him. He smiled soothingly and though a small furrow built between Felicity’s eyebrows, she turned her head back with a small nod of her head.

Only two seconds later the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Felicity stepped outside quickly, bringing as much room between her and Oliver as possible. He followed her after a beat, stopping right outside the doors to keep his distance.

Felicity had her back still turned towards him, but she wasn’t moving away. She was taking deep even if still trembling breaths.

Oliver cleared his throat. “I’ll see you in the conference room in twenty minutes. Right?”

“No.” Felicity sucked in another deep breath before she turned around to him. Her eyes were reddened slightly like she had cried or like she had at least been very close to it. “I- uhm… I am just here to grab some stuff I forgot. I’m basically already on my way to Metropolis to meet Lena Luthor. Your father’s private jet is waiting for me.”

“Right.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly. He remembered that she had told him about meeting Lena Luthor. Felicity wanted to negotiate with her about joining a project they had discussed a couple of weeks ago. He just hadn’t had in mind that it would happen today already.

“When will you be back?”

“By the end of the week,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess.”

“Okay, so…” Oliver cleared his throat. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.” Felicity flashed him a brief smile. “I will call you when we get to an agreement.”

Oliver nodded. “Alright. Thank you.”

Now it was Felicity’s turn to nod. “Sure.”

The entire situation was awkward, even more awkward than the moment in the elevator. Just looking at each other and talking to each other but missing the usual familiarity that was between them, was just a hundred different kinds of awkward.

Not even the realization that _awkward_ seemed to become the most frequent word he was using now elicited a smile from him today.

“So… I’ll see you later this week.”

Felicity nodded her head once more slowly. “Yeah. See you.”

They continued looking at each other for a long moment and for the first time Oliver felt like maybe he couldn’t actually read what was going on inside of her. Usually, he had always been able to read what she was thinking in her eyes. Today it was different though. He had no idea what was going on in her head.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t even completely sure what he was thinking and feeling right now.

Sucking her bottom lip between her front teeth, Felicity lowered her eyes and turned around. With her face still lowered, she walked away.

Oliver stood in the hallway for some time, watching her leave. Even when Felicity was out of sight, disappearing in her office, Oliver stayed where he was, staring at where Felicity had been seconds ago. He could almost feel the void she had left.

He repeated Felicity’s voice in his head again, once more realizing how right she was. They needed to find their way back to their friendship, or they might lose each other forever. It was their only chance, so maybe bringing some distance between them was the best that could happen to them. It might be exactly what they needed for their hearts and souls to anchor themselves and to remind themselves of the friendship they needed to maintain.

Nodding his head slowly, Oliver turned around and left to head to his own office. He should bury himself in work as long as Felicity was gone. If it helped her, maybe it would help him too.

 

* * *

 

Oliver wasn’t sure what he had thought how long it would take to forget about that night with Felicity. In the depth of his heart, he had probably known that it wasn’t done quickly. Still, his anger about the little process he had made through the week still drove him crazy.

With quick and strong movements, Oliver hit his bo-staff against John’s as hard as possible. His friend tumbled back a step, allowing Oliver to follow his movements. John just got the chance to lift his bo-staff over his head to fight off the next of Oliver’s hits, once harder than the next.

The loud noise of the bo-staffs hitting together filled the gym. In Oliver’s head, the sound was soon drowned out by the low moans that were falling from Felicity’s lips as he thrusted into her in slow, rhythmic movements.

When the memory of her face all screwed up in pleasure flashed in front of his eyes for a moment, Oliver lost his tact. It gave John just the time he needed to go from defense into offense. With a quick movement, he started going back at Oliver.

“Strength alone is not enough,” he told him quietly while he was hitting his bo-staff against Oliver’s firmly, making him back away. “You need to keep your head in the game.”

Oliver couldn’t count how many times he had heard this sentence lately. While he had been training like crazy these last couple of weeks, he had indeed used a lot of muscles and less of it head it seemed. His mind had just been preoccupied, unable to focus on what he was doing here though he knew it was half of the game.

Today was even worse than most other times lately. His head was still full of all those memories of his night with Felicity and the morning that had followed.

There last couple of days, Oliver had believed that he had made at least some process. He had been able to sleep again though he had woken up a lot of times, his clothes damp from sweat and his breathing heavy. During the day, he caught himself thinking about Felicity from time to time. He was able to push those thoughts away more easily than before though.

Oliver tried to push those thoughts away now, but he didn’t succeed. He could hear Felicity’s moans in his ear. He could still see her face screwed up in pleasure in front of his inner eyes. He could almost feel the softness of Felicity’s skin beneath his fingertips. taste the sweet taste of Felicity’s tongue on his lips. She was invading all of his senses, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The realization hit him so hard that he got distracted by it. John used the moment to hit his bo-staff against the back of Oliver’s knees and push at his shoulders, making Oliver stumble back and end up flat on the floor with a groan.

“You are unfocused.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said with raspy voice. “I don’t need to be told that.”

Staring at the ceiling of the gym, Oliver thought back to his night with Felicity and the moment they had shared in the executive elevator of Queen Consolidated earlier this week. They had been so close, close than they had ever been. At least for a while it had been like that even if it hadn’t lasted for long.

It seemed like they were drawn to each other. When they were alone, there was just them and it created the most intense intimacy Oliver had ever felt. That was even the case when it had been awkward between them.

Whenever reality had hit back in, it had all fallen apart though. The moment they had gotten aware of their surroundings and the situation they were in, they got reminded of how much of a mistake all of this had been. When they did, they always backed away from each other as much as possible.

Oliver didn’t know what was wrong with him that he couldn’t really get this thought to manifest itself in all of his body. It was in his head, but there were still some doubts that he couldn’t really name or put his finger on.

He and Felicity were just friends. They couldn’t be more than that.

“Everything alright with you?”

Only now Oliver noticed that John was standing right next to him, his hand reached out for him to help him up. Oliver had to blink several times to see his friend’s face clearly. He put his hand in John’s and let him pull back up onto his feet.

“Everything alright?” John repeated his question.

Nodding his head without saying a word, Oliver went over to the bench where his towel and his bottle of water were placed. He dried his face from the sweat that was dropping down from his forehead and took some gulps of his water.

Even without looking back over his shoulder, he knew John was watching him. He could feel it in the back of his neck. John’s gaze had always been incredibly intense, making it hard to miss it even when he wasn’t seeing it.

“You do know that I don’t believe that, right?”

Oliver bit down on his tongue. He knew that he could trust John. If he told him the truth, he would tell him what he was thinking without trying to spare Oliver. Telling him the truth of what he was thinking about this didn’t mean that he wouldn’t keep it for himself though. John was always honest to him, but he was keeping his secrets.

“I know,” Oliver whispered. “I just can’t talk about it.”

Oliver closed his bottle of water and sat down on the bench. He wrapped his towel around the back of his neck and lowered his face, staring at his feet.

A part of him believed that it would help him to talk about this. If he could just say the words out loud and talk to John about it, maybe it would help him. He and Felicity had decided never to tell anyone about this though, and he wouldn’t break that promise. Too much of their friendship had already been broken.

“Maybe you can’t talk about it yet,” John said, “but you have to talk about it eventually. Otherwise, it’s going to kill you.”

With that being said, John clapped his hand on Oliver’s shoulder, grabbed his bottle of water and left the gym, leaving Oliver alone with his misery. And, God, this misery refused to let go of him!

 

* * *

 

None of this should have happened. These last couple of days, it was all Felicity had been able to think. None of this should have happened because it had all been a terrible mistake.

Even when she had been in Metropolis with thousands of miles separating her from Oliver, that thought had echoed in her head the entire time. She had tried to focus on her conversation with Lena Luthor, knowing how important it was for the company, but it hadn’t helped. The thought hadn’t let itself be pushed away easily.

Being gone for a couple of days had certainly been a good thing. Distance from Oliver was helping her to get some distance from what had happened even if her own realization had been that it really had been a terrible mistake. She had just felt even more guilty.

She couldn’t remember who had made the first step. She didn’t know who had kissed the other first or who had deepened the kiss first. All she knew was that she shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. She should have been the one to keep a clear head and realize that this was wrong and they shouldn’t do this.

Felicity felt terrible for letting it happen. All the things that had gone well lately felt like they had turned to shit now. Oliver’s relationship with McKenna was footing on unsound ground it seemed, threatening to fall apart like a house of cards. Her partnership with Oliver at Queen Consolidated was tense and a lot less effective than it had been before that night. Most importantly though, her friendship with Oliver was struggling, and she wasn’t sure if she could ever get it back.

The thought made Felicity’s stomach clench painfully.

In all the years, Oliver had been the anchor in her life. He had been one of the few constants she had had, and he had been the only person she had felt she could really rely on. She didn’t know what to do now.

The last time she had seen Oliver in the elevator of the company and the last time she had spoken to him on the phone while she had been in Metropolis, everything had been awkward. They had barely gotten a word out when talking to each other, never mind looking the other in the eyes.

Felicity didn’t know how to fix that.

“Is everything alright?”

At the sound of her friend’s voice, Felicity flinched. Like so often these past days, she had completely forgotten where she was. As she found Tatsu approaching the couch, a small tray with two cups and a teapot in her hands, Felicity forced a smile onto her lips.

“Yes, sure,” she lied thought it made her stomach twist painfully. “Of course it is.”

Tatsu sat down on the couch next to her and placed the tray on the couch table. Her eyes stayed on Felicity’s face the entire time, watching her closely though.

Felicity avoided Tatsu’s eyes, afraid she could find out about what had happened. She couldn’t tell her though since she and Oliver had agreed not to tell anyone. She had actually been the one to suggest that because she had thought it was what was best. Rationally, she still believed it was best because as long as only she and Oliver knew about this, it was easy to forget about it. The more people would know, the harder it would get to pretend that night had never happened.

“You do know that I can see that something is wrong, right?” Tatsu asked, pouring the tea into the cups. “I mean it’s obvious that something is wrong.”

Felicity swallowed down hard and lowered her eyes to her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to tell Tatsu because she felt like the words wanted to get out and they were strangling her throat as long as they didn’t, she knew she couldn’t say them. It wasn’t just the fact that she and Oliver had found that agreement. It was also about the fact that she just felt like saying those words out loud was only going to make it more real and she wasn’t ready for that.

“I-“ Felicity sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t talk about this.”

Tatsu handed Felicity one of the cups of teas and shot her a meaningful gaze. When Felicity took the cup of tea from her friend, Tatsu replied, “I doubt there is anything a person can’t talk about. Talking always helped.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue even harder than before. Usually, she was always talking. Since her childhood, she had learned to fill silence with babbles because she hadn’t been able to endure the silence her father’s absence had left the house with. She had been afraid of it. Right now, she felt there were no words to fill the silence she was feeling deep in her soul at the bare thought that she might have ruined her friendship with Oliver.

Tears welled in Felicity’s eyes as she thought about it, but she swallowed them down quickly. If she started crying now, Tatsu would leave her no choice but to talk about what was going on.

“I-“ Felicity had to clear her voice as it sounded so hoarse that it was almost unrecognizable. “I did something that I shouldn’t have done and now I feel terrible. It’s all going to be okay though. I mean it has to be okay and- yeah, it will be okay at the end.”

Felicity wasn’t sure if she believed her own words, but she knew she had to be optimistic. If she let on the possibility that she had lost her friendship with Oliver forever, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to recover from it anytime soon.

“Hey, I got an idea by the way,” Felicity said, quickly forcing a smile onto her lips. “You know, I always wanted to have a dog, so maybe now was the right time. Since I am basically my own boss, I can certainly take the dog to work with me and… yeah… it might be a good time now.”

Felicity could see Tatsu’ hesitation. She knew something was going on that Felicity wasn’t telling her about but obviously didn’t want to tell her about either. Eventually, she decided to just let it go.

“Well, I am sure that you will become Akari’s most favorite person then.” Tatsu smiled. “Akari always wanted to have a dog.”

“Most little girls do I guess.”

Felicity smiled, remembering how she had begged her mother to get a dog when they had moved into their own home here in Starling. Donna had denied Felicity her wish though.

The closest Felicity had ever gotten to have a dog had been when Oliver had bought her a puppy. Some guy had sold like a dozen puppies. He had kept them in a paper box and bought then for 50 dollar each in front of the supermarket. Felicity would never forget the proud smile on Oliver’s lips when he had showed up on her doorstep, the sleeping puppy in his arms.

Of course Donna hadn’t allowed her to keep it, so Robert had given the puppy away to one of his employees who had been looking for a puppy to adopt. Still, Felicity had incredibly grateful for Oliver’s gift.

She and Oliver had so many stories connecting them with each other. Their friendship was a mosaic of a thousand little memories, some happy and some sad, but they made a beautiful image altogether. The thought that she might have lost this made her stomach clench so painfully that Felicity had to suck in a deep breath.

She couldn’t have lost Oliver. Her friendship with him was the most precious thing she had in life. She’d be lost if it was lost to her.


	13. Hiraeth

_= Homesickness mixed with grief and sadness over the lost or departed, or a type of longing for the homeland or the romanticized past_

 

Almost everything on his to-do list was handled by now. There were only a couple of things to be taken care of until the wedding in like ten days. Most of them just demanded his presence. He wouldn’t really have to do anything for them though.

Standing in front of his parents’ mansion, Oliver made a face. Technically, this last suit fitting was only demanding his presence too. Of all the things he still had to do until the wedding, this was the one he hated the most though. Well, maybe the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding was even worse as he would have to put up with all of his parents’ friends.

A sigh escaped Oliver as he looked at the building that he had been growing up in. Though his parents had taken him here from the hospital and raised him here until he had left for college, he remembered that it hadn’t always felt like a home to him.

He had lived here with his parents and Raisa. His grandfather had lived here before he had died and Thea had eventually joined once she had been born. Still, the only time that he remembered the mansion really feeling like a home had been when Donna and Felicity had stayed with them. They had brought that missing piece of heart and soul into the thick stone walls.

Oliver sucked in a deep breath. Felicity had always made everything feel more heart. With her kindness and her generosity, she had just made everything better.

There was a terrible stitch in his heart as he remembered once more that he might have lost her forever. Since their little slip two weeks ago, they had barely talked to each other. They had limited their contact to the bare minimum, only talking to each other if not avoidable. At some point, they had even started letting their assistants message the other rather than seeking direct contact.

Oliver didn’t know if taking more and more space as they were doing right now was really doing them any good. At the start, he had thought that maybe it was better that way, but that was different now. He didn’t believe that taking space was the right way for them to save their friendship. It actually seemed like it was threatening the small thread they were still holding onto.

Shaking his head firmly, Oliver pushed that thought away. Sooner or later, their friendship would be back to the way it had used to be. They had known each other for too long and been through too much to let a little slip like that to get in between. Once all of this had lived down, it was going to be okay again.

Oliver knew he had to believe it or he’d go crazy.

Behind one of the windows upstairs, the woman he had made a promise to, was trying on the most important dress in a woman’s life. At least that was what people said right? That the wedding dress was always the most important one in a woman’s life. Oliver shook his head slightly as it didn’t matter.

All that mattered was that he had promised McKenna to always love her and always be with her by proposing to her. She was looking forward to this special day in their life as much as he was looking forward to it. He owed it to both of them to find a way to deal with this slip. He couldn’t let it ruin both of their lives forever.

Oliver took a deep breath to gear up for the fitting or rather the conversation with his mother that he would have to go through first.

“Mom?” he asked immediately upon opening the door and stepping into the mansion. “Mom, are you home?”

While he was putting his helmet on one of the small tables at the side of the foyer, Oliver tried to listen. His mother didn’t answer though, making Oliver roll his eyes with a shake of his head. She wasn’t answering because she wanted him to find her where she was probably sitting in the living room and reading some fancy magazine. She didn’t like it when anyone yelled.

With quick steps, Oliver went through the foyer and turned into the living room. Indeed, he found his mother sitting on the couch and reading some magazine just like he had thought she would. She was trying to keep the expression on her face casual like she really hadn’t heard him. Oliver knew his mother a little too well to think that was true though.

“Mom,” he said a lot more quietly now.

Moira looked up, a smile playing on her lips. “Oliver.”

Oliver had trouble not to roll his eyes at this. He knew she had heard him, but of course Moira would never admit it.

“Ready for the final suit fitting?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Sure.”

“After that, the next time you will wear the suit, it will be your wedding day.”

As much as Oliver tried to keep calm, he felt his thumb rubbing against the other fingertips. He painfully remembered Felicity pointing out that little nervous tick to him again and again. Even he tried to ball his hand to a fist, he couldn’t. His fingers just continued rubbing together on their own.

When a small crease formed between his mother’s eyebrows, Oliver bit down on his tongue. He was still thinking about what he could possibly say to hide his nervousness when she put her magazine away. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees and looked at her son with her deep, blue eyes.

“Is everything alright, Oliver?”

Her voice was soft and full or worry. She really wanted to make sure that he was alright, but Oliver knew he couldn’t tell her the truth. As close as he had always been to his mother, he knew how much she loved Felicity. As Donna’s daughters, Felicity was almost as close to Moira as her own children. She would put all the guilt for what had happened on him, and he couldn’t have that right now.

That his best friend was part of the family was great, but it was also kind of difficult. His parents loved Felicity with all of their hearts. He loved that because he knew Felicity deserved all the love in the world and she deserved people looking out for her and considering her their daughter when not even her own father considered her his child or at least didn’t treat her like that. At the same time, his parents had the tendency of taking Felicity’s side because she was this tiny blonde with that shy smile. It could almost be a little bit annoying.

“I am just a little bit nervous,” Oliver said, avoiding his mother’s intense gaze. “I mean there is still a lot to do and… I don’t know. I guess I just want everything to be perfect.”

“Don’t worry, Honey,” she said with the same soft voice she had always used to him when he had been sick. “Your father, as much as he tries to deny it, was so very nervous before our wedding too. I think if he would have been given a chance, he would have run.”

“But he didn’t.”

“No, he didn’t.” Moira chuckled. “I can’t deny that I was almost a little bit surprised that he actually showed up to the ceremony. When the doors were opened and my father led me down the aisle, I honestly thought that there wouldn’t be anyone waiting for me at the end of it. Your father was standing right there though, looking at me with a nervous smile while he was waiting. God, his fingers wrapped around my hand so firmly I thought they would break. We got married, and now we are still married. We also have you and Thea.”

Oliver nodded slowly though he wasn’t entirely sure what his mother was trying to say here.

“I guess what I am trying to say is,” his mother added like she had just read his mind, “that it’s normal to get nervous before something like this. At the end, once those vows have been spoken and you will be announced husband and wife, all the nervousness is going away again though.”

Again, Oliver just nodded slowly. He guessed his mother was right. The usual nervousness before a wedding that most people were feeling would certainly go away once the ceremony was over and the reception had started. After doing that official part, the party would come easy for people who went into their marriage optimistically.

For Oliver, it was different though. As much as he wanted to be optimistic about his wedding with McKenna, it was difficult to be optimistic given that his one-night-stand with Felicity was still in the back of his mind. He hadn’t told McKenna about it, and it might be over if she ever found out. Going into your marriage hopefully with a secret like that between you and your partner felt impossible. Even if she didn’t find out he felt terribly guilty for what had happened.

He felt all the more guilty for being unable to get Felicity and their night together off his mind. It was driving him crazy and-

“Did I hear vows?”

Donna stepped into the living room. The high heels of her boots gave her steps even more swing. The turtle neck of her steel blue dress made her neck seem even longer just like the hem that reached to slightly over her knees made her legs look longer. Her naturally blonde hair – unlike her daughter’s dyed blonde – fell over her shoulders loosely. Although she almost looked a little conservative, but her style still shone through.

Never would Oliver forget the first time he had seen Donna. He had met a lot of his mother’s friends before. Most of them, just like his mother too, were classy and wealthy women. The more surprised he had been when Donna had stepped in with her white leather boots, the dress that had barely covered her butt and that weird feather jacket that had looked like a bird had exploded on it.

“Donna.”

Moira got up from the couch and spread her arms. Donna stepped into the hug and both women kissed each other’s cheek before they sat down.

“I hope I am no inconvenience.”

“Like you could ever be one.” Moira smile at her friend honestly. “Oliver just arrived for his last suit fitting.”

“Oh, that is exciting.”

Oliver just nodded his head, unsure if he was even supposed to say anything about that. He couldn’t really do or say anything other than to agree.

“So, Oliver,” Donna asked and looked him up and down in a way that made Oliver swipe his sweaty hands at his jeans, “how are the wedding preparations going?”

Oliver did his best to hide the breath of relief that fell from his lips. He hadn’t really thought that Felicity would tell her mom of all people about what had happened between them. Still, he wouldn’t have been surprised if Donna would have asked something suggestive that would have made it hard for him to keep quiet about what had happened between them.

“We are probably going to make it in time.”

“Probably?” Donna chuckled. “It’s a good thing you are so relaxed.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, but Moira was already putting a hand on her friend’s arm.

“I just managed to relax him about it.”

“In that case I won’t continue talking about it.” Donna winked at him before her smile widened even more. “I just love weddings so much. I cannot wait for Felicity’s time to finally come.”

The thought of Felicity getting married made Oliver’s heart stitch painfully. Even before their night together, he hadn’t liked the thought of Felicity getting married. He hadn’t been able to see his friend with some guy by her side.

“How is Felicity doing after the break-up with Carter?”

Again, Oliver bit down on his tongue. He had wondered how Felicity was doing more than once in the last couple of days. She had told him after the break-up that she was fine, but maybe their night together had just been a sign that she wasn’t as fine as she was trying to look like.

Oliver’s fingers rubbed together nervously. As her best friend, he should be there for Felicity. He should comfort her and make sure she had everything she needed. With the way things were, he knew he couldn’t do this though.

“She is off lately.” Donna sighed. “We all know that Felicity is usually quite talkative, but she doesn’t talk if it’s really important. I have never seen her like this before. It’s almost like she is sick or maybe even worse.”

At Donna’s words, Oliver frowned. “What do you mean?”

The moment the words were out, Oliver regretted saying them. Moira and Donna were looking at him with a deep frown. It was obvious that they were more than surprised that he had to ask. For a long time, if anyone had wanted to know what was going on with Felicity, he had been the first person to ask.

When Felicity’s tooth had been loose, he had been the one who had helped her get it to show it to her mother. When Felicity had her first period, he had been the first to know. When Felicity had her first real hangover, he had been the one to hold back her hair. It had always been like that, at least until now.

“Felicity’s walking around like a ghost,” Donna said. “I am surprised you wouldn’t have noticed.”

“I know the wedding is a lot,” Moira said, “but-“

Luckily, Raisa came in at that moment and saved him before his mother gave him another speech about how getting married shouldn’t stop you from maintaining your most important friendships. He was sure it would only rub salt into his still bleeding wounds.

“Mr. Oliver, the designer is here now.”

Oliver nodded quickly and was up on his feet within a second. Both women’s eyes were still on him expectantly. They wouldn’t let go of him without some kind of explanation.

“I just thought there was something else to it,” he said quickly before he gestured back over his shoulder. “I gotta go now.”

He turned around and left quickly. The designer, a tall guy with a bald head and thick glasses, was waiting there for him. They shook hands quickly before Oliver gestured downstairs. The designer followed as Oliver led him into his old room.

Oliver got out of his clothes and into his suit quickly. He looked at himself in the mirror, nodding along to everything the designer was saying without really listening to it. The suit was exactly what he had thought it should be though he couldn’t see much difference to other suits if he was completely honest. It was just typical Queen fashion to let oneself design a piece of clothing though they could have as well just bought something in that fancy boutique.

Stepping onto the small podium and spreading his arms for the designer to check if really everything was fine, Oliver released a long breath.

Maybe when all this wedding trouble was over and there was more time to spend differently, things could go back to normal. He had more time to invest in his relationship or rather marriage with McKenna, and he would have more time to rekindle his friendship with Felicity. Hopefully.

When his phone rang, Oliver turned his head.

“Sorry,” he said to the designer. “I just need a moment.”

The designer whose name Oliver couldn’t remember though he was trying to really hard released an annoyed snort and rolled his eyes. Apparently, the thought that anyone thought something could be more important than clothes didn’t sit well with him. He let go of Oliver though and allowed him to step down from the small podium.

Oliver crossed the room to the bed where he had left his clothes quickly. He took his jeans and pulled his phone out. His heart stopped for a second when he saw Felicity’s name and the stupid photo that he had taken of her the day she had left for MIT on the display of his phone. She had her eyes squeezed shut, messy strands of hair falling into her face and her tongue stuck out. He doubted anyone but him would recognize it was her.

“Felicity.”

“Where the hell are you?” Felicity almost hissed the words. “We were supposed to have this conference together. And with _supposed to_ I mean that I am already here. You, on the other hand, are still missing though this conference started ten minutes ago.”

“Fuck.” Oliver slapped his hand in front of his eyes. “I forgot.”

“You forgot?”

Oliver could hear the suppressed screech in Felicity’s voice. It almost made him smile a little because it just didn’t happen too often that Felicity was losing control over things happening in her life.

“I-“ Oliver sucked in a deep breath. “You don’t need me for this.”

“I don’t- Oliver, you were the one who were supposed to lead this conference. How should I-“

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted her with soft but firm voice, “you can do this. You have all the information. You have probably even all relevant numbers remembered. You are even more on fire about this project than I am. Just put in your ear piece and put your hair in front of your ear. If there are any problems, I will talk you through them.”

Felicity released a long breath that was trembling slightly. Oliver didn’t need her to say anything for him to know that she wasn’t entirely convinced yet.

“Felicity, you are incredibly smart,” he started with the obvious because it was the easiest to come from his lips right now. “Everything IT related is your world. You’re the queen of this branch so to speak. You love this project so much that no matter what you might think you could possibly lack to do this, your passion for this is going to make you rock this conference.”

Again, Felicity released another deep breath. Oliver could hear the changes though. He knew that Felicity was convinced or at least convinced enough of his plan to give it a try.

“You owe me,” Felicity mumbled. “Big time.”

He did owe her big time, but it had nothing to do with this conference call. If it wasn’t for her, Oliver wouldn’t be where he was right now, and Oliver doubted that he’d have had the kind of life he had now. A lot of his successes and his happiness, he owed to her.

There was a moment of silence before he heard Felicity calling for attention. She announced that Oliver had fallen sick and wouldn’t make it before she started the conference. He was sure that only he was able to detect the slight nervousness in her voice. Everyone else, everyone who didn’t know her as well as she did, wouldn’t notice it.

With held breath, Oliver listened to Felicity’s voice as she led through the conference. Her voice was strong and the passion he had talked about before was audible in it. She only needed his help twice, and he was actually sure that she would have made it through these two moments too if it hadn’t been for her nervousness.

The whole conference took only thirty minutes. Two minutes later, Felicity was back in her office and released a long breath of relief and exhaustion that made Oliver smile. He could almost see her sitting in her chair with her legs stretched out and her head leaned back as she looked at the ceiling.

“You did really good,” Oliver said quietly, pride shining through his voice. “Nobody noticed that this was the first conference you did.”

“Yeah, because you talked me through it.”

“In two short, little moments.”

“Yeah, but those counted.” Felicity released another long sigh. “God, it felt really good having you inside of me.”

Her words made Oliver’s breath get caught in his throat. Of course he knew what Felicity was referring to. In the context of this situation – smart words he was sure he had adapted from Felicity at one point in his life – the meaning of her words was clear.

Given their night together, their meaning blurred though. Images of that night and how their bodies had been tangled together in slow and gentle sex flashed in front of his eyes. He was sweating suddenly and feeling cramped in his suit.

“And by _you,_ I mean your voice,” Felicity said, awkwardness undeniable in her voice. He could almost see her screwing up her face and cursing herself the words she was saying. “And by _me,_ I mean my ear. I should go back to work. Right now.”

“Yeah, I have… things to do here too.” Oliver cleared his throat. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

They both hung up quickly. Oliver let the phone drop to the mattress and shook his head. For just a moment, it had felt the way it had before. It had felt like the Oliver and Felicity they had known. Then it had suddenly turned awkward.

Shaking his head once more, Oliver turned around. With a groan, he noticed that the designer was still standing there with his arms crossed in front of his chest and the heel of his foot tapping on the wooden floor. Oliver had completely forgotten about him or the suit fitting, and he couldn’t say that he was the least bit happy about remembering him now.

“Can we continue now?”

 

* * *

 

Reaching the end of the paragraph, Felicity realized once more that she hadn’t paid any attention to what had been written. She had read this paragraph at least twenty time now, but she seemed to be unable to process the words.

Her eyes glanced towards the mug of coffee at the edge of her desk. It was already half-empty and it was already the last mug of her second pot. She guessed coffee wasn’t helping her today as much as it usually helped her. Nothing could help her to focus today.

When tears welled in her eyes, Felicity pushed the report she had tried to read away and released a trembling breath. She rested her elbows on the top of her desk and let her face fall into his hands. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to push away all those distracting thoughts that was stopping her from work, but she didn’t succeed.

Felicity’s throat started burning, and she felt a sob rising inside of her throat at the thought of how messed up and broken everything was right now. She had come to Starling, thinking it would allow her life to be whole and fuller than it had ever been, and now she felt like she had nothing left.

Not even her job, this wonderful job full of responsibility that was supposed to anchor her no matter what would happen, wasn’t helping with how broken everything was. She couldn’t focus on it because she was always distracted by her memories of her night with Oliver. Work had been the one thing that had been supposed to distract her, but not even her passion for anything IT related could distract her from her memories.

The way Oliver had touched her, exploring every inch of her body, still made goosebumps spread on Felicity’s skin that she was thinking about it now. His mouth had felt incredible as it kissed down her body and his cock had just felt so-

The shrill ringing of her phone made Felicity flinch almost violently. She put her hand to the back of her neck where the abrupt movement had sent a flash of pain.

Quickly, she grabbed her phone and frowned slightly as she saw who was calling her.

“Felicity Smoak,” she said as she took the call.

“Wow, I didn’t think I would actually reach you.”

Felicity chuckled lightly though she wasn’t really feeling it. “Then why did you call me?”

She didn’t have to see Lena Luthor to know that she was smiling at the other end of the line. During the couple of days Felicity had spent in Metropolis two weeks ago, the two women had become friends. They were so similar as they shared the same interests and were both quite successful at making themselves someone in a branch that was dominated by men. They had instantly liked each other.

“I was just hoping to be lucky,” Lena replied lightly. “I have a proposal for you.”

Felicity leaned back in her chair a little. If her daily work wasn’t distracting her from Oliver, Lena’s proposal might have the power to do so. During her visit in Metropolis, Felicity and Lena had negotiated the terms for the collaboration for some project of Queen Consolidated and LuthorCorp, so Felicity knew that Lena had some interesting ideas.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“So, I have been thinking a lot about this,” Lena said slowly, “and you are free to interrupt me when I am wrong, but I got the feeling that you enjoyed being in Metropolis a lot and that maybe you would have liked to stay here a little longer instead of going back to Starling City.”

Lena made a pause, giving Felicity the time to interrupt her and tell her that she had gained the wrong impression. Saying so would be a lie though as Felicity had indeed enjoyed being in Starling, and she had certainly rather stayed there than going back to Starling City where everything reminded her of that night she had spent with Oliver.

“Well, I was wondering if maybe you would like to hear about the job that I have to offer to you.”

Felicity felt her breath getting caught in her throat. Working with Lena Luthor would be an incredible chance at working with another woman who was successful in STEM. The fact that it would give her an excuse to leave Starling City would only be an extra.

“I am planning to build a subsidiary for the research on biomedical engineering,” Lena explained to her. “I want to do research and new developments of prostheses. Given the progress technology has made in the last years, it’s actually sad that protheses haven’t been developed that much. I would like to give you the position as CEO of this subsidiary. Of course it would still be linked to LuthorCorps, but I promise that I will give you full reign over it.”

Noticing that her fingers were rubbing together in the same nervous movement Oliver’s always were rubbing together when he was nervous, Felicity balled her hand to a fist quickly.

“That’s… quite the offer.”

Lena chuckled softly. “I hope it is. I knew I needed to give you something good to even consider taking my offer. Starling City and Queen Consolidated are close to your heart. I know that and I respect that. Maybe you could still consider this offer at least. I mean, just imagine a building with the words Smoak Tech on them because that is definitely a name we should consider for that subsidiary.”

Felicity felt her thumb rubbing over the knuckles of her fingers now that it couldn’t reach the fingertips anymore. Lena’s offer, though absolutely amazing, was just crazy. A couple of months ago, being the co-CEO at Queen Consolidated had already been a big step. Leading her own company, even if it was only a subsidiary, was even bigger though.

Taking Lena’s offer would be the easiest way for her to leave Starling City behind without any further questions asked. Who wouldn’t understand that she just had to take this offer? Nobody would think she was leaving because something was wrong between her and Oliver. This was the kind of out that might solve all of her problems.

Looking around her office and out of the large windows where the lights down in the city showed that she wasn’t the only one left awake after midnight, Felicity felt a stitch of regret though. She loved Queen Consolidated as she had learned a lot of her basic skills here. That Robert trusted her with the company meant the world to her. Leaving the company and letting down Robert would be incredibly hard.

“Just promise me that you will think about my offer,” Lena asked her. “Please.”

Felicity nodded. “I will. Thank you, Lena.”

“You are welcome. Goodnight, Felicity.”

“Goodnight.”

As Felicity ended the call, she got up from behind her desk and stepped towards the large window front. She leaned against one of the pillars there and looked outside onto the only city that had ever felt like a real home to her. That it was a home she felt she didn’t really belong to anymore gave it a painful notion.

Maybe Metropolis could be a new home to her. If she could build something new there, something she was only given the chance to build there, maybe that would make Metropolis a good place to start a new part of her life.

Away from Starling, maybe she could have the necessary distance to Oliver and everything that had happened to truly recover. It would hurt to be away from here and all the people she held so dear, but maybe it was exactly what she needed.

She should have known that it hadn’t been a good idea to come back to Starling City. As much as Felicity had wanted to come back here, she had hesitated because she had been afraid of what it might mean. She had been afraid that her heart would get broken because in that little corner of her heart, she had always known that her heart had been lost to Oliver. She had loved him much longer than she had known.

After she had met Carter, she had thought that she was over it. Carter had been perfect for her. On paper, he was exactly the kind of person she should have fallen in love with. Life just didn’t work like stories written on paper. Carter had realized even before Felicity had been ready to admit to herself and spared them both a lot of pain.

Felicity had just been too stupid to protect her heart from pain the same way.

“You are still here.”

For the second time tonight, Felicity flinched violently. With a quick movement, she turned around to where Robert was standing at the door and watching her with vigilant eyes. The expression in them was soft, but Felicity could see the glint of worry and maybe suspicion that was lying beneath.

“Yeah, I just wanted to get a little more work done.”

Felicity avoided his gaze as Robert continued to take her in thoroughly. Even without looking at him, she could feel his gaze on her skin, creeping over her body and right into her soul. She stepped behind her desk and rearranged some files there, trying to distract her from the feeling. It didn’t help though, so heat was rising into her cheeks and spreading all the way through her body.

When her father had left her, Robert had taken her in. He had raised her like she was his own daughter. He had opened the doors for her to go to the best schools and study at the best colleges. Now that he was considering to retire, he was even trusting her with the company he had built. Robert had treated her like a daughter in all possible ways, and he was the only one who had ever done so.

Still, all she did was disappointing him. She had considered his offer to work here for a long time instead of just taking it. She had almost messed up that conference because she had been too nervous for it. Now she might have to let down him and his company because she had slept with his son who was about to get married to a beautiful and smart woman that he loved very much.

Once more, Felicity felt a sob rising in her throat. She swallowed it down, but the burning only seemed to pool to a lump in the middle of her throat, making it impossible to breathe.

“Felicity, you do know that you can always talk to me, right?”

God, how much Felicity wanted to believe that it was true. She wanted to talk to Robert as she was sure that he had the necessary distance and the needed wisdom to know what to do. His opinion mattered a lot to her.

“I can’t.”

The words fell from Felicity’s lips in a whisper. As much as she wanted to tell him, she knew she couldn’t. If there was someone who should tell him what had happened, it was Oliver. No matter how much he had treated her like a daughter, he was Oliver’s father first and foremost after all.

Felicity wasn’t able to bite back the new sob that raised inside of her throat, at least not enough to hide that little whimper. In the spaciousness of the room, it echoed against the walls made of glass and marble. She had no hope that Robert would have missed it.

She still kept her eyes down at her hands that were trembling against the top of her desk when she heard Robert crossing the room towards her. He came to stop next to her. When Felicity didn’t turn around to him, he just took hold of her upper arm and turned her around to him. Before she could stop him, his arms were already wrapping around her body and pulling her close to his chest.

Felicity didn’t know if it was just the fact that she had had an exceptionally bad day or if she had just needed someone to hug her. Whatever it was, it caused all the bottled-up emotions to suddenly burst out of her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and the heartbroken sobs made her entire body trembling in Robert’s arms. Even if she had tried, she knew that she couldn’t stop it.

“It’s okay,” Robert whispered soothing words to her as he rocked her from side to side, interrupting the kisses he pressed to the crown of her head. “It’s okay. Just let it out. I am here for you.”

Felicity knew that Robert meant it, so she did exactly as he had told her. She might feel guilty and somewhat embarrassed, but none of this mattered anymore. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Crying in his arms, Felicity lost all sense for time. Maybe she was crying there for hours, maybe it was only taking a couple of minutes for her to take time. Either way, Robert held her until her sobs calmed down and her body started trembling. Even when her breathing had evened out and she was all quiet and almost relaxed in his arms, he still held her tightly.

“Tell me what is going on, Felicity,” he pleaded with her gently and stroked his hand over her head. “Is it about Carter?”

Felicity didn’t want to tell Robert. She knew in every cell of her being that it was the wrongest thing she could possibly do. If she told Robert and he blamed Oliver for her broken heart, their friendship would probably be unsavable. If she told him and he blamed her for it, she would lose the one man she had always looked up to. Either way, she was losing.

Still, Felicity needed to tell Robert about it. He was the only person she could possibly be honest with without being pitied or something else she didn’t know how to deal with. He would be brutally honest with her. He had always kept the pain away from her that would have been too much and that would hurt her without teaching her something. He hadn’t spared her a little bit of a heartbreak though when he had known that it would make her smarter.

Tightening her arms around him and pressing her face against his chest in the slight hope that it would drown the words she would say, she sucked in a deep breath.

“I had sex with Oliver.”

With held breath, Felicity waited for Robert’s reaction. His hands that were still stroking over her back and over her head only faltered briefly. The moment of hesitation was barely noticeable as his hands continued their stroking movements after the break of a second.

“When did this happen?” Robert asked with whispered voice. “How?”

“He took me home after his bachelor’s party. I wanted to show him the reader’s corner and… I don’t know. We were lying on the bed together and I told him that Carter broke up with me because he thought we were supposed to be together. We were both making fun of it and suddenly our lips were so close and then… it happened.”

Robert seemed to need a moment to process this as he kept quiet. There was the slightest of tension in his muscles, and Felicity was almost sure that he was wondering if he had to put guilt on anyone here.

“Was it just that one time?”

Felicity took in another deep breath before she admitted, “It happened again the next morning.”

Again, Robert kept quiet. Felicity listened closely, trying to figure out what he was thinking and feeling from the way his breathing stuttered sometimes. She wasn’t sure what it meant though and Robert still didn’t say a word.

Eventually, Felicity couldn’t wait any longer. She lifted her gaze towards Robert and found him looking at her with deliberating eyes. He obviously wasn’t sure what to think about this yet and maybe it was the fact that he didn’t seem to judge yet that prompted Felicity to go even a step further.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

The ghost of a smile flashes over Robert’s face as he seemed to remember that she had always asked that question when she had been a child too. She had beckoned him to come closer and whispered the question. Only when he had sworn on all he held dear that he would keep her secret, she had told him what she had found out about computers. In hindsight, no secret she had shared with him had actually been anything new to him.

“Always,” he whispered.

Felicity felt one more tear escaping the corner of her eye and wiped it away quickly. She took in a trembling breath, readying herself for saying the words she had only just thought the first time a couple of minutes ago.

“I think I might be in love with him.”

Robert perked up his eyebrows in surprise, showing the first real reaction to what she had told him.

“You two always insisted that there was nothing going on between you,” Robert said softly, no reproach and no judgment audible in his voice. All he wanted was to understand what had changed all of a sudden. “Your mothers have been asking you about this in forever, and you always said that you were just friends.”

“Because we were.” Felicity nodded slowly. “I mean we… we have always been friends. I might have been in love with him long before that party, but I think I only realized it now. Besides, Oliver does not have feelings for me and-“

“Oh, Felicity.”

Felicity stopped, frowning at Robert. He was looking at her with soft eyes, shaking his head slightly. There was the slightest of amusement playing in his eyes as if her words were almost ridiculous, something a little kid was saying with conviction that made the adults smile.

When Robert looked at her again, he released a low sigh. His arms loosened around her, allowing Felicity to take a tiny step back, so she could look at his face without angling her head back too much.

“Felicity, I know my son quite well,” Robert said with firm voice, “and I can say without any doubt that he had never talked about or looked at anyone in the way he talks about or looks at you. Just like it took you some time to see it, I guess he hasn’t been able to see it yet either. Maybe he still doesn’t see it now. Either way, I am sure that he is in love with you.”

There was a part in Felicity that wanted to deny Robert words. If she allowed herself to think that Oliver was in love with her too, their entire situation would only be more tragic. It was easier to think that this was a story of unrequited love than to admit that this might be a story about two people who had loved each other for years and had just been to scared and too stupid to do something about it.

“You know, the year when you graduated high school,” Robert said, the faint expression in his eyes telling Felicity that he was somewhere deep in his memory, “and you didn’t want to go to prom, Oliver wanted to ask you to go there with you. He said every girl needed the experience of getting asked out for prom and going there with someone they could have a good time with. I think that was the first time he noticed that you were more important to him than he knew.”

Felicity frowned slightly. “Oliver and I didn’t go to my prom together.”

“No.” Robert smiled softly. “Before he got a chance to ask you out on it, Cooper had already taken his chance. Oliver was so mad when he came home, tearing his entire room apart. I think that was when he realized that he definitely felt something for you. He just couldn’t allow himself to actually let that thought into his head or into his heart because he was too afraid of the pain it would cause him.”

Oliver had never liked Cooper. For a long time, he had insisted that seeing her kiss someone had been like watching Thea kiss someone. After he had switched excuses and claimed that there was just something off with Cooper. He had never really tried to get to know him though.

Robert’s story made a lot of sense. It was like the missing piece of a puzzle Felicity had never been able to solve.

“Just like you two might be to afraid to do something now.”

Felicity looked at Robert again. He was watching her with slightly perked up eyebrows and a soft smile. Still, it was more than visible that he wanted her to do something about this because he didn’t agree.

“We don’t have a chance,” Felicity said, whispering the words as new tears welled in her eyes. “It’s too late.”

“That’s not true.”

Robert’s voice and the expression in his eyes hardened slightly. He wasn’t judging her for what had happened between her and Oliver. He didn’t reproach her for having sex with his engaged son. However, he did reproach her for having feeling for Oliver and doing nothing about it. He judged her for her fear of at least giving it a try.

Felicity felt like he had every reason to. She lowered her eyes, almost a little bit ashamed.

“If two people love each other,” Robert said and waited until Felicity looked him in the eyes again, “it’s never too late.”

As much as Felicity loved Robert, she couldn’t say that she believed this was true. She believed that he thought it was the truth, but it wasn’t. Sometimes, it really was just too late.

“The circumstances for you two are complicated. There is no doubt about that.” Robert shot her a pointed look, telling her without saying a word that the time she and Oliver had let pass was the very reason for that. “That doesn’t mean it’s too late though.”

Unable to be in his arms any longer, Felicity took a step back. Robert let her take the distance and just pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants loosely. Felicity turned away for a moment, combing her fingers through her blonde hair, and walked over to the window front. She took a moment to look down at the city lights before she turned around to Robert again.

“Oliver is engaged. He and McKenna will get married in less than two weeks. Everything for the wedding is already planned and set up. All that is missing is the two of them saying their vows and exchanging the rings. How can that not be too late?”

“Because it’s only too late when either of you is dead.”

Felicity wiped another tear that had fallen away and shook her head firmly. She hadn’t always believed in marriage. She still wasn’t sure if she really believed that getting married was a smart decision for any person to make, but she knew that a wedding meant a lot to most people. They considered it a life-long promise. Any person who got in between a married couple was immoral and said to end up in hell. She knew she didn’t want to be either of it.

“No matter what promises you two make to other people, neither of you will be ever be happy as long as you are not together. Even when you fall in love with someone else, that big what-if of your love for another will always keep you from that blissful happiness every person should experience with the life partner they choose. You have to find out if what you are feeling for each other is something that can work if you ever want to be in a happy relationship.”

Blissful happiness was not something Felicity had ever considered for herself, especially not in a relationship. With everything her mother had gone through, Felicity doubted that she could even let herself fall like that in a relationship. She was almost sure that she would always have her doubts, afraid that she’d be left alone with nothing left like her mother.

Still, she was sure that Robert was right. Everyone should experience that blissful happiness at least one time in life. It had to be a good feeling, being able to let yourself fall because you didn’t have to worry about being left.

“Neither you nor Oliver should relinquish your happiness, the happiness you can only have together, because the circumstances are complicated.”

Felicity didn’t know if that was true. She and Oliver might get out of this with broken hearts, but they only had themselves to blame. If they actually acted on their feelings now, McKenna would end up with a broken heart to, and she didn’t deserve that. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

When Robert released a long sigh, Felicity frowned at him slightly. She found him chuckling softly, shaking his head.

“I think I have said this before, but I still think Vegas weddings are the best inventions the human race has ever done when it comes to marriage.” Robert sighed. “Marriages are a complicated thing because people put way too much meaning into if you ask me. You and me, we are logical people, Felicity. We know that you cannot promise to love someone until the end of your life. Still, people do so over and over again, and they lose so much time waiting for the right one to say those words to and planning the perfect marriage and trying to kit a marriage that has long failed because of the promise they shouldn’t have made in the first place.”

With those few sentences, Robert had basically summarized what Felicity had thought about marriage for most of her life. Eventually, she had come to realize that marriage was just supposed to give people safety. Still, she felt like there was still a lot of truth to Robert’s words.

“When you get married in Vegas, you just decide to do so without thinking about it to much. You go there and get done with it. Then, when you realize that maybe it hasn’t been the right decision, you just tell yourself it’s because you got married in Vegas. You don’t hold on for longer than you should just because you put so much energy into one day.”

Maybe Robert was right. Maybe a Vegas wedding was what would spare a lot of people so much heartache. For her situation, it didn’t matter though because Oliver and McKenna hadn’t run away for a wild Vegas wedding. They had taken their time and planned a fancy ceremony and party with all of their friends. Even if they hadn’t, Felicity knew it wouldn’t change anything for her.

“I can’t,” Felicity whispered, shaking her head. “I can’t get in between there, and I know that you will think that I am a coward and that you will be disappointed of me, but-“

“I could never be disappointed of you,” Robert said firmly, shaking his head. “No matter what you say or do, you will always be like a daughter to me. I will always love you and always trust that you know yourself better than anyone else does.”

Felicity felt another sob raising in her throat. She wasn’t Robert’s daughter by blood, but he loved her as much as only a parent could love you. His love was unconditional.

“Even if I tell you that I might be leaving Starling City and Queen Consolidated behind to go to Metropolis and work for Lena Luthor?”

Robert took in a deep breath, and the expression in his eyes showed that he wasn’t happy at the prospect. When he released the breath with a sigh, Felicity could see that it wasn’t disappointment that made him dislike the thought though. It was the father’s love for her. Like ever good parent, he wanted his daughter close because he would miss her.

With slow steps, Robert crossed the distance towards her. He put his hands to her shoulders and stroked his hands up and down her arms.

“I told you, Felicity, that I love you like my own daughter,” he said firmly. “Like every one of my children, I just want you to be happy. If your happiness lies in Metropolis, all I can do is wishing you good luck and telling you that I will come to see you as often as possible.”

Felicity smiled through the tears in her eyes and let Robert pull her back against his chest. She didn’t need to thank him for him to know that she was grateful, and he didn’t need to tell her that it was okay for her to know that he really meant it.

Lena Luthor was giving Felicity an out, and Robert had just made it the easiest solution for her.

 

* * *

 

Oliver had no ideas if his smile still looked as stiff as it had looked when he had practiced it in the bathroom mirror. He was sure that the groom was supposed to smile through the rehearsal dinner, knowing that the wedding was happening tomorrow, but Oliver just couldn’t get himself to smile honestly.

The closer the wedding had come, the more tensed Oliver had felt in the last couple of days. He knew this should be an exciting time, but his guilty conscience was eating him alive. He could barely look McKenna in the eyes without feeling his stomach twisting painfully.

“Oliver?”

Only when McKenna tapped her forefinger onto his chest lightly, Oliver was snapped out of his thoughts. He blinked several times before his eyes found hers. She had rested her head against his shoulder and was looking at him with a slight frown between her eyebrows.

He smiled at her though he was sure that it didn’t reach his eyes and just looked as miserable as the forced smile made him feel. When McKenna frowned in response, he guessed his smile wasn’t saving him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “What did you say?”

“Well, my mother just said that she was wondering if we wanted to join her and my dad at their beach house in the Hamptons for a week this summer,” McKenna replied, her frown deepening. She put a gentle hand to his cheek. “Is everything alright?”

“Just a headache,” Oliver whispered and realized that it wasn’t even a lie. He really did have a headache. “I think I haven’t slept enough these last weeks.”

He was about to turn towards McKenna’s mother and tell her that, of course, he would love to spend a week at their beach house. Before he could do so, McKenna stroked her fingers over his cheek and nodded towards the widows.

“Maybe you should catch a breath,” McKenna suggested. “I will excuse you everywhere.”

Oliver smiled with relief and he was almost sure that it was the first honest smile that crossed his lips in a while. Grateful for McKenna’s offer, Oliver pecked her lips.

“Thanks. I’ll be back in a couple of seconds.”

“Take your time.”

As quickly as he could, Oliver turned around on his heels and fled towards the terrace doors. A little too late, Oliver realized that he hadn’t even excused himself to McKenna’s parents. She was probably telling him about the headache though and excusing him. There was no reason for Oliver to go back and make good for that.

Without another look back, Oliver stepped outside of the terrace. He closed the door behind him and with eyes squeezed shut, he leaned back against the cool stone wall next to the door where nobody could see him.

It wasn’t cold outside, but it was cool enough to clear his head. He took some deep breaths, letting the cold air fill his lungs and spread through his body. His headache ceased a little though the throbbing pounding continued.

When a voice was cleared, Oliver opened his eyes quickly. His eyes skipped a beat as he saw Felicity, hiding in the shadows. He took her in, lowering his gaze down her body that was covered in a tight-fitting dress that showed all of her curves, the curves he had loved to explore with his hands, his lips and his tongue.

The thought made Oliver shiver slightly. He straightened up quickly and swallowed down hard, trying to push away all the memories that rose inside of him now.

“Here we are again,” he said instead. “Just like during our engagement party.”

_Our engagement party_. Those words alone deserved him a slap he guessed. It had been an engagement party, they had shared, but it hadn’t been their engagement party.

Not the choice of words alone, but also the memories that came with it deserved him a slap in the face though. Back during that night, they had still been the friends they had always been supposed to be. They had been the best of friends, both happy in their relationships and with each other.

Now, that was all ruined though.

Felicity took in a deep breath and lowered her eyes. He could see that she was feeling the same way. She knew as well as he did that every mention of their night together and everything that had been before just reminded them how badly they had screwed up for just one night of passion and pleasure.

Clearing her throat once more, Felicity gestured towards the terrace doors once more and said, “I should go back inside.”

Oliver nodded his head, not getting a word out with the lump in his throat. He watched Felicity lowering her eyes with a deep sigh before she started stepping towards the doors. She looked defeated and just as tired as Oliver felt too.

Giving her the room that she needed and he definitely needed too, Oliver took a step away when she stepped at the door right next to him. He watched her taking in a deep breath and straightening her shoulder before she pushed down the door handle.

Stopping her from opening the door, Oliver held onto her forearm lightly though. He could see Felicity tensing and holding her breath. Her eyes glanced in his direction briefly, but she didn’t look at him fully. After that one brief glance, she kept her eyes straight forward.

For a long moment, neither of them said a word. Oliver didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He just knew that he had to say something. He couldn’t let Felicity leave like this as this was the first time in weeks that they were outside of Queen Consolidated and all alone. There was so much he had to tell her, so many things to say, but he knew that he just got one shot.

“Is it ever going to be normal between us again?”

He didn’t know it was the right question to ask or even just the right thing to say. Whenever he had met Felicity since their night together, the question had been burning in his mind though. Felicity had always been a part of his life, and they had find their normal a long time ago, and they had drifted far away from it since that one night they had spent together.

Felicity didn’t say a word, and she still didn’t say a word. She just continued to look straight forward though the hazy expression in her eyes told him that she wasn’t really seeing anything. She was staring into emptiness, captured in her memories or her thoughts.

Although she wasn’t looking at him, Oliver could see the pain in her eyes. This moment was as terrible for him as it was for her. They had their memories of that one night, but no matter what could have been, it was long lost.

“I doubt it,” Felicity said eventually. She glanced at him briefly. “For the sake of our friendship, we have to try though.”

Oliver nodded his head firmly. Their friendship was the most precious thing he had. He had never held anything so dear as he was still holding dear their friendship.

There was a part of Oliver that just wanted to tell her how sorry he was for that night because it had messed up everything they had built over the years. He knew there would be some lie to that apology though. He was sorry for the way their friendship had been messed up, but he wasn’t sorry for that night. He couldn’t be sorry for it given how right it had felt.

He was already taking in a breath to at least apologize for the way how messed up everything between them was now when Felicity suddenly turned around to him. Her eyes full of pain met his, and it caused him to suck in a quick breath.

There was a moment of silence that neither of them was saying a word. Oliver was sure that he could see the same kind of glint in Felicity’s eyes that he knew was always there when he thought back to their night together. The memories of kissing each other and joining their bodies was still so very present for both of them. There was no doubt about that.

They both remembered the way the heated lips had met in passionate kisses. They both remembered the taste of each other’s lips. They both remembered the feeling when their bodies had first joined. They both remembered the low moans that had fell from their mouths with every thrust. They both remembered the pleasure rushing through their veins when they had come.

It took Oliver a moment until he noticed that his thumb was rubbing over Felicity’s upper arm. He was stroking it over her skin and it was almost like every circling movement of his thumb against her skin rubbed in another detail of their night together.

Felicity eyes lowered to watch the movement, but it only lasted for the break of a second. Instead, she lifted her gaze towards his eyes again, allowing him to see the deep sadness that was in them now. It had been lying underneath before already, but now it was front and center in her eyes.

She pulled her arm away from his touch and shook her head slightly. “We missed our chance.”

Those whispered words had just left her lips when she opened the door and stepped back inside. Through the window, Oliver watched her disappearing in the crowd of guests. He himself stayed back in the darkness of the terrace, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head.

Felicity was right. They had missed their chance. They had missed it so long ago.


	14. Yuyin

_= The remnants of sound that stay in the ears of the hearer (Chinese)_

Scrutinizing his face in the mirror, Oliver guessed that there had never been a groom that had looked more miserable than he was looking right now. His eyes were glassy and the expression in them tired. Dark shadows had formed beneath his eyes, building a sharp contrast to his pale skin. His hair and stubble were a little longer than was good for him as he had missed his appointment with the hairdresser yesterday. Even the grooms in Vegas, who had been partying with alcohol and drugs and had had little to no sleep for three days, probably looked fitter than he did right now.

With a long sigh, Oliver lifted his hands to his face. His fingers and palms rubbed over his face firmly, trying to chase the tiredness away from it. No groom should look like he was about to pass out into a comatose sleep less than an hour before his wedding, especially when the bachelor’s night had been antedated so far before the wedding to keep this from happening.

When Oliver lowered his hands again to look at his face once more, he figured that he only looked more tousled now with the red spots all over his face. If he was asked about it, he guessed he would just tell the truth and say that he hadn’t slept much the past few nights. He would just keep that little detail that he had been sleepless because of his one-night-stand with his best friend rather than his excitement about the wedding to himself.

Squeezing his eyes shut Oliver took in a deep breath. He held the air in his lungs for a long moment before he breathed out slightly, releasing just a little of breath at a time.

Today was not the right day to think about this. In less than an hour, McKenna would be led down the aisle by her father. She would smile at him, excited about the best day of her life. That was the only thing he should focus on right now. That was the only thing that should matter today.

Straightening his shoulders as if the posture of his body alone would allow him to be the good and honorable man his parents had tried to make of him, Oliver took in another breath. He lifted his hands to his bowtie and turned around to the mirror once more. He avoided the sight of his face and just focused on the bowtie instead.

Even without seeing it in the mirror, Oliver knew that his fingers were trembling slightly. It made tying it even harder than it already was as Oliver had never been really good at tying his bowtie or a normal tie at all. He gave it three tries before he gave up eventually, ripping the bowtie from his neck and tossing it to the floor.

Where the hell was Felicity?

In all the years he had needed to wear a tie or a bowtie, she had been the one to tie it for him. At least in those rare moments when she had been around to tie it for him, she had done so. Other times, Raisa was doing so for him, especially since his job demanded him to wear a tie each and every day now.

Anyway, Felicity was still his best man or woman or whatever, so it was her job to come here and tie his bowtie and tell him to relax or drink a couple of shots with him to ease his mind from his nervousness. She still hadn’t shown up though.

The unwell feeling that Felicity wasn’t going to show up at all snuck its way even closer to his heart now. It had impeded upon him over the last days as he and Felicity had barely seen each other or talked to one another. He hadn’t had an opportunity to ask her if she was still in for being his best woman.

Maybe Oliver could have asked her last night when they had met on the terrace behind the mansion, escaping the rehearsal dinner for a little while. He had been so surprised to find her there that he hadn’t been able to remember that question at that time, and she had left right after their little encounter outside. Felicity hadn’t said anything either which he guess was quite unfair. If she had decided not to come, she could have at least sent a text and let him now.

Putting his hands into his hips Oliver clenched his jaws and took in a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm him anger.

It had been Felicity’s wish to never talk about that night again and pretend that it hadn’t happened. He had done his best to keep his side of the promise. If Felicity wasn’t coming today, he guessed he knew that she wasn’t keeping her part of it though.

Oliver shook his head firmly, once more trying to chase those thoughts away as there was no time for them today. Glancing at his watch, he realized that there were only forty minutes until McKenna was going to make her big entrance, so he only had around twenty-five minutes left to get a grip on himself.

He would ask John to be his best man and get over with this wedding and finally move on from what had happened. He would be happy with McKenna.

Releasing a dark growl of frustration, Oliver started pacing up and down the room with quick steps. He alternated between squeezing his eyes shut and looking around his room unfocusedly.

It had been a terrible decision to get ready here in the room he had spent his childhood and his youth in. It was still the same desk where Felicity had helped him with his homework, so he wouldn’t fail all of his classes because of his laziness. The bathroom was still the same one where they had had a water fight and flooded almost the entire bed when they had been supposed to just clean themselves from the mug of the forest. The bed was the same bed where he and Felicity had laid snuggled up after a night of partying, catching some sleep.

This room held too many memories of Felicity, and each one of it seemed to be tainted now that their friendship was barely hanging by a thread. Weeks ago, their friendship had seemed indestructible and Oliver would have taken any bet that he and Felicity would still be friends when they were sitting in some retirement home, searching for their choppers.

A flash of memory took back back to how Felicity’s teeth had scratched over his sensitive skin slightly. The memory still made goosebumps spread on his skin.

God, why couldn’t he stop thinking about that night with Felicity?

As much as he tried and he had really tried so hard, he could still feel her fingers on his skin. He could remember the way her skin had smelled as a thin layer of sweat had started covering her chest. Her moans as she let the pleasure take over still sounded in his heart like an earworm. The taste of her lips and tongue and her center of pleasure were still on his tongue.

He felt his cock almost twitch at the bare memory of having sex with Felicity and it only made him growl out even louder and darker.

Maybe doing the right thing wasn’t the actually right thing.

The thought had crossed his mind more than once in the last couple of weeks. He knew that living up to a promise he had made was important, but pretending he was living up to it was probably even worse than admitting that he couldn’t keep it. He wasn’t sure if it made sense phrasing it that way or if it just made sense in his head.

Apparently, he was taking up on Felicity’s babbling and awry way of thoughts now.

A few months ago, everything had seemed so clear. He was supposed to get married to McKenna, while Felicity was getting married to Carter. They would be best friends, letting their kids grow up together side by side like they had grown up side by side, and they would work together to make Queen Consolidated even more successful.

None of this would happen though because they had ruined everything they had had. Their friendship wasn’t the same anymore and it would never be what it had been.

The pain of that realization would probably accompany him for a long time, and it might not ever go away. The pain would ease eventually though because he was getting married to McKenna, a wonderful woman that he shared so many interests with and that he would have a great life with. Once the first confusion about his misstep with Felicity had faded, it would get easier. At least between him and McKenna things might go back to normal again.

At least Oliver hoped so.

A soft knock at the door made Oliver spin around quickly. His heart jumped at into his throat at the hope that maybe Felicity had changed her mind or it had all been one big misunderstanding.

“Yes?”

He was pretty sure that his father could see the disappointment that spread on Oliver’s face the very moment he realized that it was not Felicity. With one hand pushed into the pocket of his pants and the other hand still on the door handle, his father watched him up and down.

Oliver didn’t know what it was, but there was something about the expression in his old man’s face that made him avoid his gaze. His thumb was rubbing against the other fingertips nervously. Even without looking at his father, his eyes seemed to creep right under Oliver’s skin.

“How are you doing?”

Robert’s voice was soft, but there was a slight suspicion audible in it. Oliver lifted his gaze to his father’s face briefly, and he wasn’t surprised to find the same expression in his eyes. Unable to take it, he lowered his eyes again quickly and busied himself with his cufflinks, the very same cufflinks his father had worn at his wedding day.

“Nervous,” Oliver whispered, his voice raspy. “And I can’t tie my bowtie.”

An amused smile played on Robert’s lips briefly before he closed the door behind himself and crossed the room slowly. He leaned down to pick up the bowtie from the floor before he stepped in front of his son. Without saying a word, he put the bowtie back around Oliver’s neck and started tying it.

Oliver sucked in another deep breath, still doing his best not to look at his father’s face. He felt nauseated and so close to collapsing that he had no idea how he was supposed to make it through this day.

“When I got married to your mother,” Robert said eventually, still busy with the bowtie, “I was so nervous that I thought I almost ran away.”

“Mom might have mentioned it.”

Robert smiled. “I know she knew that I was nervous. Everyone knew that I was nervous because it was written all over my face days before the wedding already and I think I have thrown up at the bare mention of the wedding several times. I doubt that even your mother knew that I actually had a friend in a car waiting behind the church in case I changed my mind and wanted to run away after all.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, looking at his father with honest surprise. All his life, he had never seen his father losing control or being anything but absolutely calm and confident. He could imagine him being a little nervous, but he couldn’t imagine him going that far.

“Really?”

“Really,” Robert replied and tugged at the bowtie until it was perfectly in place. “It just felt like an incredibly big step. With all eyes on me and your mom, I was afraid. I knew that there was no person that could make me happier than your mother and that I needed her in my life to be happy. Hence, instead of running, I gathered my courage and stayed. I never regretted it.”

Nodding slowly, Oliver tried to envision his dad being all nervous and thinking about that getaway car while he was being driven to the chapel where he was supposed to get married. Somehow, he was unable to picture that though.

When Oliver focused on his father’s face again, the man was smiling amusedly.

“Well, I have rarely regretted it,” he said, making Oliver snort quietly. “Still, a Las Vegas wedding would have made a lot of things easier.”

Oliver sighed. Since he was a child, his mother was shaking her head judgingly whenever there was a mention of a Las Vegas wedding. As soon as she was out of earshot, his father had leaned down to him and told him that he believed Las Vegas weddings were exactly what people should go for. They didn’t rob too much of your time with annoying planning that everyone would criticize later anyway and you always had an excuse for why it didn’t work out at the end.

His father had always insisted on this, but Oliver had known a Las Vegas wedding would never been in the cards for him. His mother would never let him have that fun or kill him the minute he was back in Starling.

“You are not helping,” Oliver said eventually. “I mean there was like two hundred guests down there and everything is fancy and planned up to the last little detail.”

Robert nodded slowly, watching his son with nosy and urgent eyes.

Once more, Oliver really wished Felicity was here. She was skilled at calming him down. She would know what to do and say, at least if this was the normal pre-wedding nervousness.

Glancing at his watch, Oliver clenched his teeth. He knew it was pointless to still hold onto hope. As often as he had thought to himself that Felicity wasn’t coming, he just couldn’t give up yet. Until he had said his vows, he would hope Felicity would come in whenever a door would open. He couldn’t help himself.

“Ceremony starts in thirty minutes,” Oliver said quietly and moved his hand through his hair. “Felicity’s still not here.”

He knew he could say these words to his father because his parents would be suspicious if he didn’t ask about her at all anyway. They knew that he and Felicity were inseparable. Everyone knew, so he would have to face a lot of questions about her. He guessed he could already practice excusing Felicity.

“And she’s not going to come.”

Oliver’s eyes snapped towards his father. He looked at him urgently, trying to read all the information he wasn’t saying yet. Of course, the details of what his father knew about Felicity’s absence weren’t written on his forehead though which was a pity as his father made no attempt at telling Oliver.

“What do you mean?” Oliver asked in consequence. “Where is Felicity?”

Robert took in a deep breath and pulled his hand from the pocket of his pants. He rested it on Oliver’s shoulder like he often did when they were having a serious conversation. While his father was just looking at him with calm eyes, Oliver wanted to ask again because he just needed to know what he knew.

Even before his father told him, Oliver got the suspicion that whatever he would tell him would make him lose his ground once more.

“Felicity’s moving to Metropolis today,” Robert told him. “She’s probably at the airport already.”

Oliver held his breath, trying to process the words, but they didn’t seem to make any sense. Felicity had been in Metropolis right after his bachelor’s party because she had met up with Lena Luthor to discuss the terms of a collaboration. She had just moved here and bought that cozy townhouse with the reader’s corner she had always wanted. Her home was here in Starling City.

His frown deepened even more and he looked at his father like he had just told him that he was actually an alien who had come to this earth to fight the process of technology. Admittedly, it sounded just as probably to Oliver as the words his father had actually said to him.

“What?”

Robert smiled indulgently and squeezed Oliver’s shoulder. There was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes that told Oliver that this was no bad joke. His father was actually telling him the truth, and given how much he loved Felicity he wasn’t exactly happy about it.

“Lena Luthor offered her a job at Metropolis,” Robert explained to her. “She is going to lead a subsidiary of LuthorCorp, doing research on medical engineering. We might soon have to negotiate the terms of a collaboration with Smoak Tech.”

Smoak Tech. The name filled him with pride, knowing that Felicity would make that subsidiary the most successful company possible. With her passion and her skills, she could turn everything she touched into gold. Men in the business, foolish men at least, would smile when she entered a room because they would only see a short blonde with glasses. Within seconds Felicity would prove to them that she should never be underestimated though because knew exactly what she was doing. She was that kind of person.

At the same time, the idea that there was a Smoak Tech scared him. If there was a Smoak Tech, there was no way Felicity was still working with him. They’d be competitors rather than partners as it had been supposed to be.

Oliver didn’t understand. Of course he knew how much it would mean to Felicity to build something of her own and having her work actually carry her name rather than the Queen name. He knew how much Queen Consolidated meant to her though. This had been the place she had been able to first try her skills. This had been the place, she had first been really challenged to become better.

Maybe he could believe that she left Starling City or even him behind. He couldn’t believe that she would just leave Queen Consolidated behind like that.

He felt like she had just been punched into the stomach and could barely breathe. Everything inside of him hurt. He might have been able to accept that his friendship with Felicity would never be the same, but scratching her out of his life completely felt impossible.

“But why?” he asked. “Why would she leave Starling or Queen Consolidated? Why would she leave- here?”

It took a lot of him to swallow down the little word _me_. He did understand why she would leave him after everything that had happened, and still he felt like it didn’t make sense. After everything that had happened, he knew more than ever that he needed Felicity in his life. Without her, everything lost its color, and everything was felt bleak.

“I thought you were the one you could tell me that.”

Oliver looked at his father briefly before he turned his eyes away. Of course he was the one person who should be able to explain it. He was Felicity’s best friend, the person she trusted with more than anyone else.

At least for the eyes of the others that was true.

“I guess Felicity just needs more challenges than Queen Consolidated can offer. She has never been the kind of person to have got it made. She wants to work for everything she gets because she wants to feel like she has really earned it.” Oliver nodded his head slowly, figuring that it wasn’t just an excuse but the actual truth. “Felicity loves Queen Consolidated, but she doesn’t want to take anything more from the Queen family, I guess. She always felt like she owed you and mom something for everything you did for her. She probably felt like it was time to stand on her own feet.”

It actually made a lot of sense. Felicity had always said that she wouldn’t be where she was if it hadn’t been for the Queen Family. As much as Oliver had disagreed, insisting that she would have found another way to make it on her own, Felicity had never really believed it. She had always believed that it was the Queen's’ money that had allowed her to go to these great schools and good colleges and that had opened her the doors to all the companies.

At one point, Oliver had thought that maybe it would have been better if their mothers had never been friends. If Felicity had actually been forced to fight her way all the way through the consequences of her father’s actions without the safety net of her mother’s friends, maybe she would think more highly of herself and her skills. He knew that his family’s money had made Felicity’s life more comfortable, but he didn’t doubt that she would have made her way all the way through it nonetheless. She was Felicity Megan Smoak after all.

“Besides, Carter was one of the main reasons for her to come here. I guess the break-up changed a lot for her. She might need some distance to recover and just start over somewhere new where she isn’t known as the poor child the Queen Family took in and the young woman that was engaged to Carter Bowen but was dumped before they even got to pick a date for their wedding.”

“And here I was thinking that it had a lot more to do with the fact that you two had sex after your bachelor’s party.”

Oliver looked at his father with wide eyes. He almost wanted to deny it and say that none of it was true, but the expression on his father’s face told him that there was no point in lying. Robert wasn’t just taking a wild guess. He knew that it was the truth.

Narrowing his eyes at his father closely, Oliver asked, “How do you know?”

It was a stupid question. Only two people had been there when it had happened. Only two people had known that that night had happened. He hadn’t told anyone about it, so that only left one option.

Holding his breath, Oliver looked at Robert and waited for his reply. Although he knew the answer to his question already, he needed to hear his father say it.

“Felicity told me.”

Of course she had. Felicity had suggested going back to normal, but she hadn’t talked to him in a long time. Felicity had insisted that they could never be anything but friends, but she had run at the first opportunity given to escape their new reality. Felicity had demanded his silence, but she had told his father.

After everything he and Felicity had gone through and after everything they had experienced together and alone, he hadn’t thought that he could ever feel so disappointed. How could she just leave him without even telling him or give him the opportunity to say goodbye to her? He had really believed that they were better than that.

“So, she is just leaving?” Oliver asked, his anger audible in his voice. “She is just packing her stuff and going away without giving me the chance of saying goodbye or allowing any kind of conversation about what has happened? I tried to talk to her about it, but she blocked every kind of conversation. She didn’t allow me to talk to anybody about what has happened, but of course those rules don’t apply to her, so she just told you.”

Of all the people Felicity could have told, she had told Robert. She had told _his_ father about what had happened. He knew that his father was kind of her father too because Robert had taken on the place Noah Kuttler had left in Felicity’s life. Usually, he was good at sharing everything he owned and everyone he held dear with Felicity, but right now it was just too much. Everything was way too much.

“So,” Oliver said, gesturing wildly, “I guess now that Felicity told you, you are taking her side. I mean she’s poor, little Felicity. She was left by her dad. She had abandonment issues and she was just left by her fiancé. She has the right to feel out of place, and I was just an ass using the situation and using her for my own pleasure.”

Robert looked at him with calm eyes. He cocked his head slightly, looking Oliver up and down like he had always done when he had been a child. Whatever his father was going to say next, Oliver already knew that it would make him incredibly angry.

“Is that what happened?” Robert asked. “Did you use her situation and use Felicity?”

Anger was not the right word for what he was feeling. Oliver was furious. He was mad as hell for the bare thought that he would ever use Felicity or whatever pain she had been going through for his own good.

“Of course not!” he yelled. “Of course I didn’t use her. Felicity and I got closer. We kissed. It happened. We both wanted it. I didn’t seduce her. I didn’t make her do something that she didn’t want to do. I would never do that, but of course you are taking her side over mine.”

Immediately, Robert lifted his hands. He looked at his son with still calm eyes, shaking his head slightly. His eyes never wavered from Oliver’s face though.

“I am not taking either one’s side here,” Robert said, his voice as calm as the expression in his eyes. “I just think the both of you are incredibly stupid for pretending that nothing really happened and just going on with your life like this.”

Oliver didn’t know what surprised him more. Since his father had always had a little more affection for his daughters, he had been sure that he would take Felicity’s side no matter what had happened. That he wasn’t taking her side neither his side but actually blaming them both the same surprised him. He guessed it really was the entirety of his father’s reaction that surprised him, including the implication that they should actively deal with what had happened.

Oliver couldn’t count how many times he had wondered if there was more between Felicity and him. He had questioned whether or not they should take actions after the night they had spent together. At the end of the day, he had always come back to what was right. He and Felicity were friends. That was it.

“Felicity and I are friends,” Oliver said firmly. “We have always been friends and we were never be supposed anything else than that.”

Those words sounded right as he said them out loud. No matter what he might have thought before, he knew this was the actual truth. It was what his life with Felicity had always been supposed to be like.

Robert released a deep sigh, shaking his head. “Oliver, it was really charming and amusing when you and Felicity were this stubborn as children. I could have watched you two trying not to break the silence first. Now that you are adults and your actions are hurting yourself, it’s really annoying to watch.”

Oliver frowned at his father, unsure what he meant. He and Felicity were both stubborn and they meant a lot for each other, but there was nothing annoying about them. The situation was just complicated.

Releasing a long sigh of his own, Oliver went over to the window. He looked out into the garden where most guests had already taken their seats. In less than half an hour he would be expected down there too. This was not the kind of conversation he should have right now.

This was the last conversation Oliver would have before getting married. This was his last opportunity to say certain things. Once he was married, those words would have to be left unsaid forever. It would be cruel to say them out loud after tying himself to McKenna in every way humanly possible.

“If Felicity wanted to be with me,” Oliver said, turning around to his father slowly, “she could have done something about it. I tried to get through to her. I tried to tell her how much I miss her, but she blocked me. She said we shouldn’t talk to anyone and that we should forget about it. That’s it.”

It was terrible saying this right before his wedding. Even without saying it, his words were enough to implicate that he might have wished for a different outcome. If it had been up to him, maybe Oliver would have acted on what had happened. Maybe this day wouldn’t be his wedding day.

“I love you, Oliver, and I want you to be happy,” Robert said, his voice firm and leaving no doubt that he meant it, “which is why I feel it’s my obligation to tell you that you just haven’t tried hard enough.”

Another wave of anger roamed through Oliver’s chest. Heat spread inside of his body, taking over every cell of his body. It was a good thing because if he wasn’t be able to be angry, he’d probably break down at the indication that it was his fault this entire situation was just so screwed up.

“I haven’t tried hard enough?” Oliver asked, his voice so angry that he was sure his father could hear how close to freaking out he was. “Of course, I am the problem. Felicity tells me to forget about it and runs away, but I haven’t tried hard enough.”

Robert released another long sigh. He wasn’t annoyed, but he seemed kind of tired like he had been fighting an opponent who had refused to give in over decades. Maybe that was true here. Maybe his father had seen something that had been there all along. With how he had acted compared to his mother and Donna, Oliver doubted it though.

“You are the one who is still engaged, Oliver,” Robert said with gentle voice. “You are the one who has more pull here.”

Oliver doubted that was true. Most of his life, he had done what Felicity had said he should do. He had always trusted her judgement, knowing she was just so much smarter than he was. She had to know that he would just follow her example, no matter what she would suggest or what he would actually want.

“I-“

“If you would have really wanted this,” Robert interrupted him, shaking his head slightly, “you could have broken off your engagement and showed Felicity that you are available. Just like Felicity, you were scared though. You both chose to run away rather than to go all in and give it a try because you were afraid of ending up with nothing left. I understand that, but it doesn’t make the situation any easier for either of you.”

Maybe his father was right. His father was probably right. It was way too late to admit that there might be more than friendship between them though. It was his and McKenna’s wedding day after all.

“If you are getting married to McKenna because you feel like you owe her to do so,” Robert continued after a moment, “you are not doing a favor to either of you. You are putting both of you into misery. So whatever good you think you are doing for her, you will never be able to make her happy if you are in love with someone else.”

“Felicity and I are friends,” he insisted with firm voice. “Whatever could have been, it’s too late for that.”

Robert released another long sigh, shaking his head. With slow steps, he crossed the distance and closed the distance towards his son. He only stopped in front of him, putting his hands to Oliver’s shoulders the way he had done at the very start of their conversation.

“I know this decision is a scary one to make because you could go out of this without having anything left,” Robert told him, “but it might be worth it. The only person he can decide on that is you though.”

Looking in his son’s eyes urgently, Robert stayed where he was for a long moment. He didn’t need to say anything else to lend weight to his words. The expression in his eyes alone was enough for him to know. His father meant what he said. He really wanted him to reconsider his decision now instead of preparing himself for the wedding.

That being said, Robert squeezed his son’s shoulder once more before he turned around and walked away, leaving Oliver alone in the room.

Oliver took in a deep breath. When he tried to hold it into his lungs for a moment like he usually did, he found himself unable to do so. He breathed out, releasing the breath in a long sigh of exhaustion. He really was exhausted. He was exhausted about the wedding. He was exhausted about wondering whether or not he and Felicity were still friends or anything at all. He was exhausted of all of it.

Soon, Oliver felt like he was choking. There didn’t seem to be enough oxygen in the room for him to stay here. His chest was hurting from the lack of oxygen in his lungs, and the pain spread all through his body. He couldn’t breathe.

With large steps, Oliver went over to the doors that led to the balcony. He pushed them open and stepped outside. Though the air outside was a lot fresher, it didn’t help to make his breathing any easier. He still felt like the oxygen wasn’t being spread from her lungs through the rest of her bodies.

A thousand emotions were running through Oliver’s body, his heart and his soul. This situation he and Felicity had gotten himself in seemed only to get more complicated by each second. Maybe they had ruined their friendship with their night together, but it was the way they were handling it that was ruining everything they had had before.

Oliver didn’t know if things would have been different if that one night had happened earlier. A part of him wanted to believe that it was the truth and it was just their timing that was bad. If that was true, at least that would mean that all of this wouldn’t have been for nothing. There would have been some greater good to it.

There had been a time, shortly before Felicity’s high school prom, that he had felt drawn towards her. He had thought that it had been the dooming feeling knowing he would lose her when she went to MIT. When he had wanted to ask her out for prom, only to discover that she had decided to go there with Cooper Sheldon, he had realized that there had been something more though.

God, Oliver could still bite his ass thinking that he had missed his chance back then by a second. If he had realized a day earlier that maybe there could be something more between them, maybe Felicity would have never gone to her prom with Cooper or started a relationship with her. He might have been the one to dance with her on her and they might have been together ever since.

Over the years, Oliver had forced those thoughts out of his mind. He had known that they would only drive him crazy. They would always keep him from being happy in any relationship. Only now that he had Felicity had crossed that line they had danced on for so long, he was unable to keep those thoughts out of his head.

His father was wrong in a lot of things, but there was one thing he guessed his father was right at. Whatever he would do, he would never be able to make McKenna happy if there was the slightest chance that there was something more between him and Felicity.

It was way too late to break off this engagement and stop from continuing down this path of pain and misery now, but he had to pull the emergency brakes.

Turning around to leave this room and have the conversation that he should have had weeks ago, Oliver stopped when he saw McKenna standing in the door to the terrace. She looked beautiful, stunning even. The fine white lace fitted around her body perfectly. It embraced her and emphasized the soft curves of her breasts and hips. With the elegant updo of her hair, her fine neck that he had loved to so kiss so much these last years looked even longer.

“You-“ Oliver had to take in a deep breath and swallowed down hard. “You look beautiful.”

McKenna flashed him a brief smile. It looked honest though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She turned around herself slowly, letting Oliver see the deep neckline of her back and the way her butt looked even more curvy in the dress. When their eyes met again, Oliver just nodded his head, unable to find any other words to say than those he had said before already.

Oliver had to bite back a growl. McKenna didn’t deserve this to happen, especially not today. Maybe if he had found the courage to admit to himself what he had only admitted to himself now, we wouldn’t feel like a monster for what he had to do now.

Already opening his mouth to say what he had to say, Oliver felt his courage lacking. He knew he had to tell her eventually and a short glance at his watch told him that he had barely time for that. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from playing out time.

“What are you doing here?”

McKenna put her hands to the frame of the door like she needed to hold onto it. She looked over her head towards the balcony in the upper floor. Oliver followed her gaze towards it, realizing that it was the balcony that led to one of the guest rooms, the very same guest room where McKenna had gotten ready for their big day.

When Oliver looked back at her, he found her already looking at him. Over the years, he had seen a lot of different facets of McKenna, but there was something in her eyes he felt he had never seen before. Her eyes were calm, yet there was an almost unsettled glimpse in her eyes.

“I was watching you from upstairs,” she said. “You looked angry and out of yourself.”

At the mention of his anger, Oliver felt it flooding him once more. Like a wave, it brushed through his chest and continued moving inside of him.

“Felicity’s not coming to the wedding.”

In the back of his mind, Oliver already knew that every word he was saying was only making things worse. He couldn’t stop himself from saying those words though. He was still angry about Felicity’s actions.

“I mean she didn’t even call or text me. She just told my dad that she was going to take a job in Metropolis and work there. She is actually at the airport already. She is leaving right now at this very moment. She gave me no chance to say goodbye or anything. We have known each other for like twenty years and have been best friends ever since and she is just leaving.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was unfair to tell McKenna about this, and it was stupid to even be mad about what Felicity was doing because his father was right. They had both done everything wrong. They were both to blame for how complicated everything had gotten.

“I am sorry,” Oliver said, shooting McKenna a brief glance before he turned away and looked at the sky. “I am just- That woman just drives me crazy from time to time.”

Letting the cool breeze tickle his nose, Oliver closed his eyes for a moment. Slowly, the fresh air was clearing his head and washed away his anger. He knew he had to find a way to turn this conversation to say the words that had been unsaid for too long.

Unlike those rumors in high school that had said that he was a heartbreaker and that he enjoyed collecting jars of all those shattered hearts, Oliver actually hated to break hearts. He knew it was happening way too often, but he couldn’t help it sometimes. And he hated it with passion.

This was probably the worst heartbreak he had ever caused someone.

“Then don’t let her go.”

McKenna’s words were so quiet that they were barely audible over the sounds of the wind. Oliver had heard her saying those words though, so he turned around to her with a frown. He didn’t know what he had expected to see. Maybe he had thought that McKenna would look at him with an angry glare because he was prioritizing his friendship with Felicity over their relationship again or maybe she would look at him with tears in her eyes, suspecting that this might be the end.

Instead, she had her head cocked slightly and was looking at him with a soft smile on her lips. There was no anger and just an underlying sadness that was barely there to see for him.

There was no doubt that McKenna knew. She knew as well as he did that his heart belonged to someone else, had been for a long time.

“McKenna, I-“

Before he got to apologize to her or tell her that it had all been his fault or even just decide on which he should say first, McKenna moved. She stepped towards him with quick steps and took his hands in hers. Their fingers laced together, holding each other.

“I am grateful that you wanted to honor our engagement,” she told him and her voice sounded as firm as if she was saying her vows now. “If something changed between us, then it’s better to acknowledge that now. I love you, Oliver, but I know that my love for you won’t be enough to carry us both through life and make us happy.”

Still, McKenna’s eyes were calm. It was almost like she had had a lot of time to think about this and had only made her peace with this. Standing there in her wedding dress, less than twenty minutes before what should have been her big moment, she was smiling as him while she was letting go.

Oliver had no idea how she managed to be stay so calm. He was a mess. Everything in his head was spinning, and his stomach was twisting so badly that the slight pain was the only thing distracting him from feeling so dizzy that he was close to being dizzy.

Watching the calmness in McKenna’s eyes, he let it infect him. He let it fill his chest and the rest of his body. If McKenna could keep her calm, so could he.

“How long have you known?”

McKenna shrugged her shoulders. She avoided his eyes for a moment, looking past his shoulder. For the first time today, he thought that he could see tears in her eyes or at least an expression of utter sadness. When she was looking back at him again, she was all self-composed again though.

“I think I have always suspected something,” she said, narrowing her eyes slightly like that helped her to focus on her memories. “The way you talked about her no matter where and when. Even when you talked about something Felicity did that annoyed you, there was so much softness there. You couldn’t be angry with her, not enough to make that anger really show or for it to last longer after you have said her name.”

Felicity. He had always had a slight obsession with that name. Over the years, a lot of people had tried to find shortenings for her name. They had called her Liz, Lizzie, Izzie or even Fel. He had always insisted that her name was Felicity though. A beautiful name like that shouldn’t be shortened.

Even now, her name still meant so much with it. Whenever someone used the word felicity as an actual word instead of a name, he still couldn’t help thinking about Felicity. He connected that word and her name with home and with a content feeling of happiness.

Now, he could allow himself to admit that to himself.

“When Felicity moved here, it became even more obvious,” McKenna added eventually and Oliver flinched as he had almost forgotten that she was still here. “At first, I was telling myself that you were just the best kind of friends and I told myself that I should relax. There was no doubt that there was more though, but I didn’t want to make a scene or anything. I didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, and the truth is that I liked Felicity. Even now, I still like her. So, I tried to avoid thinking about what you two might feel for each other. I pretended that I wouldn’t see.”

There was nothing McKenna could have done to handle this situation better. She had tried to give him room, holding onto her love for him without cornering him. Given all the possibilities she had had to react, she had chosen the most dignified. Even now that she had every right to be mad at him, to cry and claw his eyes out, she wasn’t doing any of it.

“Then after the bachelor’s party, I knew something had changed,” McKenna whispered. “I knew something had happened between the two of you.”

“McKenna-“

“I don’t want to hear it.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head vehemently. She had hissed the words, but there was still the same kind of softness in her voice as there had been before. She wanted to protect herself from hearing any details or any confirmation.

Oliver rolled his lips into his mouth and sucked in a deep breath. He should have known that McKenna had suspected something. She couldn’t have possibly missed something like that. She was a cop after all and a quite good at that actually. Her instincts were too good to miss something like that.

When McKenna looked at him again, her eyes showed that she was ready for him to speak. She had said what she needed to say, and she was giving him the time and room he wanted to say goodbye to her now and say what he needed to say.

Opening his mouth, Oliver realized that he had no idea what he could possibly say. Everything he could say would sound stupid. He didn’t want to insult McKenna by saying something stupid.

“I am so sorry.”

He said the words no matter how stupid and trite they were because they just needed to be said. There were no other words for that.

“What happened between Felicity and-“ Oliver stopped, sucking in a deep breath. “What happened, should have never happened. I am so incredibly sorry for everything.”

Oliver struggled for words. He knew he should say so much more, but he really didn’t know what else to say. Nothing would make this better. The situation was terrible, and there were no words to make it easier or better for either of them.

“You are right,” McKenna agreed, nodding her head. “It shouldn’t have happened, but you cannot make up for it by getting married to me now.”

McKenna was right. Of course McKenna was right. Just like his father had been right when he had said the same thing.

The situation was crappy, but this wedding would only make it worse. Neither of them would find happiness as long they were together, so it had been a stupid idea to go through with the wedding from the very start.

“So, what are we going to do now?”

The question was stupid as they both knew there was just one thing to do now.

“We have to cancel the wedding.”

Oliver nodded and to his surprise he felt relief flooding his veins. He had known that McKenna saw the same solution as he did since it was the only one. Still, hearing her say it out loud was a good feeling. A sadly good feeling.

“Then I will go downstairs and tell our guests that there is no great ceremony to expect.”

He wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing the shocked faces of their guests. Since it was his fault that this was necessary, he felt it was only right that he told everyone though.

McKenna shook her head, surprising Oliver for the umpteenth time today.”

“Leave that to me,” she told him and nodded towards the door. “Go and catch Felicity before she’s gone.”

Unable to stop himself from doing so, Oliver pulled McKenna against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist as tightly as possible and just held her for a long moment. There was a moment of hesitation before she leaned her head against his shoulder and stroked her hands up and down his back.

“If there is one thing I know after today,” Oliver whispered into her ear, “it’s that you deserve so much better. You deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone who loves you with all of your heart and who appreciates everything you can give him. And I know that you will find him one day because you are beautiful, smart, kind and a million other things that make you so lovable.”

McKenna sniffled quietly. Oliver tightened his arms around her for a second in response before he let go of her and let McKenna step out of his arms. Tears were rolling down her cheeks though she was still smiling so softly.

They just looked at each other for a long moment before McKenna nodded towards the door once more. She really wanted to undertake the task of telling everyone the wedding wasn’t cancelling, so he had a chance at catching Felicity before her flight left. That Felicity was part of the reason why their wedding had to be canceled and that Oliver could as well travel after her once things were solved here either didn’t cross McKenna’s mind or she didn’t want him to wait.

“Thank you,” Oliver said honestly. “And I am really so sorry.”

“Better now than after the vows,” McKenna replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “I will tell everyone and go on our honeymoon after that I guess to get a little break. Now go.”

Oliver nodded once more. It felt wrong to just leave McKenna back here alone with the mess he had made. The expression in her eyes told him that she wouldn’t take no for an answer though. So Oliver took in a breath and started running.

Running out of the room and down the stairs, Oliver ripped his bowtie from his neck and let it fall to the floor. Then he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. With a glance at his watch, he increased his speed.

He and Felicity had lost so much time already that a little more shouldn’t count. Now that he knew what he felt for her, he couldn’t wait to talk to her about this and figure out if there was any chance that they could make something out of it.

He just hoped he’d make it to the airport in time.


	15. Mamihlapinatapai

_= A look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin (Yaghan)_

 

Two minutes.

Oliver pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his pants and kicked some sticks and stones away as he was strolling down the narrow path through the forest. Gritting his teeth, he sucked in a deep breath, but it did nothing to clear his head or to ease the intensity of everything he was feeling right now.

He had been so close to catching Felicity’s flight. He could have used the time until they were landing in Metropolis to tell her how sorry he was for not fighting for them and to ask her for a chance. During the motorcycle ride through the city, he had actually worked out the perfect words to say to Felicity, words that would have hopefully convinced her.

The ride through the city had gone smoothly. He had avoided certain main roads which had saved him some time since he hadn’t been stuck in traffic. Although he had had no idea when her flight would depart, he had been hopeful that he would make it in time.

When he had stepped in front of the counter to purchase a ticket, he had been kindly informed that the last flight to Metropolis had departed two minutes ago. If he wanted to purchase a ticket, there were still three free seats in one of the three planes that left towards Metropolis tomorrow. The man behind the counter smiled and told him that he would gladly sell him a ticket.

Almost an hour had passed since that conversation, but Oliver could still feel the throbbing feeling of disappointment in his chest. He had had such high hopes, and they had all been crushed with a polite smile. Of course Oliver had purchased a ticket, but even now the disappointment was still deep-seated.

Maybe if he had broken the speed limits instead of just bending them very much, he would have made it in time. He really could have been at the airport two minutes earlier. While that still wouldn’t have guaranteed him that he’d ben in the same plane as Felicity he would have been on his way towards her already at least.

Glancing at his watch, Oliver sucked in another deep breath. Boarding for his flight would begin in fifteen hours. He knew it wasn’t exactly a lot of time to pass, but it still felt incredibly long. Now that he knew how he felt for Felicity and knew that he had to do something about it, he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t really text her about it though.

Maybe Donna would text Felicity about the crashed wedding, Oliver thought to himself. After he had parked his motorcycle at the side of the road, he had made his way into the Queen Forest and called McKenna. She had already been in a cab on the way to their penthouse to grab everything she needed. She hadn’t talked to any of their guests, not even her parents, avoiding any conversations. She had only told her sister about what had happened, so she would inform their guests about the news. Everyone who had been present for the reception knew, so maybe Felicity knew too.

Oliver shook his head. Whether or not she knew about the canceled wedding didn’t matter. It was his feelings that she had to know about, but he would have to wait until he was in Metropolis to tell her.

With another glance at his watch Oliver sighed as barely any time had passed since he had taken the last look. These next fifteen hours would feel like an eternity.

After he had left the airport, Oliver had wondered where to go to. He knew that, just like McKenna it seemed, he really didn’t want to see anyone. As long as he hadn’t talked to Felicity, he didn’t want to talk to anyone else because he wouldn’t be able to answer their nosy questions about why he and McKenna had chosen to cancel the wedding. Even after fixing things between him and Felicity, it wouldn’t be easy to talk to anyone.

For the next fifteen hours, Oliver would have to make himself scarce. He couldn’t go back to the mansion since he would run into his parents there, and he didn’t want to go to the penthouse in case someone was waiting there for him. He didn’t even want to go to John where he knew he’d have a safe place because his friend would look at him knowingly the entire time.

Eventually, Oliver had guessed that there was only one place for him to go that he would feel safe at. It was the same place where he had always felt safe. Since his childhood, it had been his place to go to when he had needed a place to run to or a safe place to stay. It had been that place for him and Felicity.

Smiling reverently, Oliver looked at the treehouse.

If he had to spend fifteen hours to bridge the time until he could go to Metropolis, he couldn’t think of a better place than the treehouse to do so. It held so many precious memories of all the time he had spent with Felicity, it would ease the ache of missing her so much.

While Felicity had been living away from Starling, he had missed her like crazy too. Back then, they had at least had their emotional connection to carry him through the long distance. Now, it was different as everything seemed to be on the verge. He didn’t know what kind of verge this was or what was on the other side, but he knew it was there.

Releasing a low sigh, Oliver shook his head about himself. He had no idea how he had been able to miss what he was feeling for Felicity for so long. All of his thoughts revolved around her like they had for a long time already. He was like a love-sick teenager.

While he was climbing up the ladder towards the treehouse, Oliver wondered if this feeling of being so incredibly in love would ever change. He almost hoped that it would always stay like this and never change. He was sure it would make him the best boyfriend possible if he just continued to be utterly smoaked for the rest of his life.

_Smoaked._ He had always liked that expression.

Only when he had reached the small porch-like podium in front of the treehouse, Oliver looked up-

And felt his heart stopping in his chest.

Felicity was sitting on the floor of the treehouse, her back leaned against one of the walls. She was taking him in with wide eyes, looking at him like he was a ghost. He was sure the same expression was mirrored in his eyes.

Quickly, Felicity got up onto her feet. She didn’t come any closer to him, and he didn’t take a step towards her either. Neither of them was saying a word or moving. They just stood in the middle of their treehouse, unmoving like they were frozen in place which probably wasn’t that far from the truth, and stared at each other.

Oliver’s heart was beating wildly. He had to remind himself to take slow and even breaths. It was hard to focus on even the most natural things now that Felicity was standing right in front of him again.

A thousand questions flashed through Oliver’s head. What was Felicity doing here? What had happened to her plans of moving to Metropolis? Did she already know that his wedding had been cancelled? Was that the reason why she had come here? Had she hoped that he’d escape here and come here to wait for him?

“What are you doing here?” Felicity asked him, finding her voice before he was able to do so. “Shouldn’t you be at your wedding?”

“Shouldn’t you be on your way to Metropolis?”

He didn’t know why he decided to ask this question instead of answering Felicity’s. While he had been on his way through the city towards the airport, Oliver had imagined her looking at him with wide eyes and asking exactly the question she had just asked when she saw him in the place. It was the most natural question to be asked in this situation, and she had every right to get an answer. All the words he had worked out to answer her had faded from his brain the moment he had seen her sitting here though. He couldn’t remember a single one of them. His head just felt empty.

Felicity lowered her eyes briefly. There was almost like a glimpse of guilt flashing over her face like she had to apologize for trying to run away. An hours ago, he might have been angry with her for leaving too, but that was different now.

Oliver bit down on his tongue, regretting his question. It obviously made her uncomfortable.

“I couldn’t do it.”

At Oliver’s words, Felicity lifted her gaze. Her eyes locked with his. The intense expression in her eyes made him rub his thumb against the other fingertips. He still didn’t know what to say to her, and he was afraid of just saying whatever came to his mind. He had never been good with words, and he didn’t want to risk chasing her away with some bad wording.

Looking at Felicity thoroughly, he took in a deep breath. He let the air fill his lungs for a moment before he released the breath slowly. He could see Felicity watching him intently, following the rising and falling of his chest. Eventually, she adapted her own breathing to the rhythm of his. They were breathing in synch, and the realization hit him with so much force that he gathered the courage necessary.

“I was getting ready for the wedding, and I was already feeling terrible,” Oliver said, recalling his unwell feelings while getting dressed and trying to tie his bowtie. “Then I talked to my dad. He told me that you were leaving to move to Metropolis, and he called me out on being too scared to fight what I really want… which is you. It took me some time, but I knew that he was right.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly, confirming those words to himself once more. Every cell in his body could feel that it had been the right move. Breaking off the engagement had been the right call to make.

“We canceled the wedding.”

Felicity must have known that it was what had happened. He couldn’t really stand here if he would have gone through with the wedding. He must have run away right after the vows to make it here in time.

Still, Felicity’s breathing faltered at his words. She looked at him with held breath for a moment. Only when Oliver took in a deep breath, she followed his example and did the same. She had to swallow down hard nonetheless.

“You?” Felicity asked, barely getting the word out. “The both of you?”

Oliver nodded his head. He knew that there was a big difference between two adults deciding that their marriage could never work and a guy canceling a wedding last minute. The first showed that two people had lost themselves in the idea of a life together, while the second might raise the question if the woman had been saved from a life with an asshole.

At least to Oliver, it seemed like the second was a lot harder to forgive and a lot harder to move on from for people in Felicity and his situation. Knowing they had caused a broken heart was a heavy cross to bear when starting a new relationship.

“McKenna and I both came to the same conclusion,” he explained. “We both knew that our marriage was never going to work.”

Felicity stared at him, once more being quiet. The intensity of her eyes only seemed to increase. Oliver felt like her eyes were creeping right under his skin and making their way right into his heart.

There was a part of him that felt the urge to pull his bottom lip between his front teeth and chew on it like Felicity usually did. He stopped himself from doing so and just rubbed his fingers together even more erratically. When Felicity’s eyes lowered down to the movement briefly, Oliver tightened his hand to a fist and tried to ignore the itching feeling in his fingers.

“I couldn’t do it either.”

Now it was Oliver’s turn to have his breath getting caught in his throat. He continued to ignore the itching in his fingers, but it was already getting hard to do so. Rubbing his fingers together had just become such a tick to him that it made him even more nervous if he couldn’t do it.

Unlike him, Felicity didn’t elaborate on it. She just continued looking at him, waiting for him to say something it seemed.

Unable to hold back on it any longer, Oliver resumed to rubbing his fingers together. As scared as the thought still made him, he knew that this was his one and probably only chance to tell her what he was feeling. He had to be the one to come clean about it first since, as his father had pointed out to him earlier today, he had more pull.

“I can’t get you out of my mind since our night together.”

The words had come to him naturally as he had had those same words crossing his mind every now and then since his bachelor’s party. He just hadn’t dared to say them out loud so far. He wished he had gathered the courage to say them sooner. Only now that he had said them, he felt like he could finally breathe again. Saying those words had taken away a heavy weight from him.

“Since that night, it feels like you are always with me. You have been with me all of my life, but it’s even more intense now it seems.” Oliver brushed his hand through his hair nervously. “I couldn’t get married to McKenna because I realized that I didn’t feel enough for her.”

It was hard to describe what he had felt for McKenna. They had gotten along well as they had shared the same interests, the same taste and the same ideas of a future. They had also harmonized in bed. Rationally, they had been a perfect fit he guessed.

There was nothing rational about love though. Everything that made them the picture-perfect couple on paper was pale compared to all the feelings he had for Felicity. He and McKenna might have had a nice life if they had gotten married, but it would have never been the kind of soul-wrenching love story he was sharing with Felicity whenever they just looked at each other.

“I guess sometimes what works on paper just doesn’t work in real life,” Oliver said, still thinking about the two years he had spent with McKenna. “She means a lot to me. She is a great person, but…”

He shrugged his shoulders, struggling to find the right words. He couldn’t describe why he and McKenna hadn’t been able to go through with the wedding. His love for Felicity was definitely a part of it, but he knew there was more. It just felt impossible to find the right words to phrase his thoughts on that.

“What I feel for her isn’t the slightest comparable with what I feel for you.”

Felicity sucked in a breath at his words, almost like they had burnt her. Just like Oliver’s fingers, hers were rubbing together too now. She had adapted that nervous tick from him. It wasn’t the first time that he noticed it, but it meant all the more for him to see it now.

Their eyes met once more after Felicity had broken the lock of their eyes briefly to give herself some space to process his words. As their eyes were locking again now, there was the ghost of a smile in both of their eyes and on both of their lips. Their connection seemed to become more and more visible and undeniable.

“I might have needed my father to call me out on that to admit it to myself,” Oliver said quietly, “but that doesn’t mean that it’s not true. I don’t know why I have waited so long to tell you. I know that I should have broken off the engagement after the bachelor’s night at the latest, but I was just too scared, I guess. I had those feelings for you for so long and-“

Oliver stopped and shook his head. His words were taking him in the wrong direction.

“I don’t want to find any excuses for waiting so long,” he said firmly. “I have just been an idiot. I knew what I was feeling for you, but I was scared and stupid. I couldn’t admit it to myself, not enough to do what I should have done.”

There were so many more things to say. There was so much more Oliver knew he should tell Felicity, so much more he would hopefully get the chance to tell her someday soon. For one day, this felt like a lot already though.

For now, those were all the words that needed to be said.

Oliver still had to remind himself to breathe regularly. He was waiting for Felicity to say something, but she stayed quiet. As impatient as Oliver was getting, nervous about her reply, he gave her the time she needed.

When Felicity sucked in a deep breath and opened her mouth, Oliver felt his breath stuttering slightly. He had always made sure to stay fit, taking a lot of time to train in different areas of sports. Even during his most exhausting training sessions, he had never felt this breathless.

“It’s been the same for me,” she said eventually, her voice so quiet that Oliver could barely hear her. “I couldn’t get you out of my head. I was thinking about you and that night, our night, all the time.”

Oliver’s heart started racing. He hadn’t known how much he had needed her to say something like that. He had always suspected that they were going through the same kind of trouble. His dad had almost confirmed it with what he had said to him earlier. Still, it was something completely different to have her say those words out loud to him.

“I was just so afraid to admit it.”

Tears were welling in her eyes and Oliver had to convince himself to not cross the distance, frame Felicity’s face with her hands and wipe his thumbs over her cheekbones. There was nothing he wanted more, but he knew she wouldn’t want that. He had been allowed to say the words he had needed to say. Now it was her turn.

“I just-” She shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of helplessness. “All of this just scared me so much. It still does to be honest. So I just ran and I am still not sure if running isn’t the best solution to this and-“

Oliver didn’t even realize that he was shaking his head until Felicity was stopped from talking. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt her. Now that she was looking at him like the words that he wanted to say might be her only lifeline available for her, he guessed that she didn’t mind being interrupted.

“I know it’s complicated,” Oliver said, his voice soft to soothe her, “but it’s not too complicated. Not if we really want this.”

God, he really wanted this.

Clearing his throat, Oliver crossed the distance towards Felicity slowly. It was terrible standing so far away from each other while they were talking about such an intimate subject. They had forced themselves to keep their distance from each other during the last few weeks, afraid that being close would be enough to cross other boundaries. Now, they didn’t have to do that anymore.

“We have both made mistakes, Felicity,” he added with a quiet sigh, “but we can fix this. Everything's not lost yet.”

He was still taking slow steps towards her. Felicity was watching him as he did so, taking in every move of him in the same way that Oliver observed her reactions. He wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with the situation, so the moment he would think that he was getting too close to her, he would stop.

For the first time since their night together, he allowed himself to really look at her. The pale color of his skin was accented by the soft shade of pink that covered her cheekbones. Her blonde curls fell around the soft curves of her safe like a halo. Her deep blue eyes pierced into his skin and right into his heart. A fine shimmer of tears glanced in them.

“I don’t know.”

Again, her voice was lowered to a whisper. They were both so lost in the situation that neither of them knew what to do about it.

“We have been friends all our life, Oliver.”

Oliver. He hadn’t known how much he had missed hearing her say his name until now. He needed it as much as he needed air to breathe though.

“And I know we had amazing sex.”

Felicity closed her eyes, but Oliver could see and feel how much it had meant to her to. There was an almost reverent smile playing around the corners of her lips that affected him immediately.

The moment Felicity opened her eyes, looking at him with hesitation, it had already disappeared again though.

“Maybe we are just mistaking this for something it isn’t,” Felicity said. “Maybe we are reading too much into it. I don’t want to ruin our friendship just because we are trying to see more in that one night that there really is.”

Oliver doubted that they could ruin their friendship more than they had already. For weeks, they hadn’t been able to look each other in the eyes. They hadn’t even been able to be in the same room without everything turning awkward. It had been so bad that Felicity would have left the city to avoid him.

No matter what they would do, they could never go back to the way things had been. They might find a way to overcome the current awkwardness, but they would never be the kind of best friends they had been.

He bit those words down and kept them to himself though.

“Do you think that?” he asked instead. “That we are reading too much into this?”

If that was the case, he knew it was all lost. As much as he feared that her answer would be a yes, he knew he needed to hear it. The sooner he knew about it, the sooner he could process the heartbreak it would cause him. Maybe he’d be over it and able to search for another love when he was in his fifties if he started processing the heartache right away.

Felicity was still hesitating, thinking about her answer thoroughly. Eventually, she shook her head though. She barely got the word out.

“No.”

Oliver doubted that there were any words to say how relieved he was. He was too nervous to have a smile spreading on his lips. If there had been a smile, he was sure that it would have brightened up his entire face.

He wasn’t the only one thinking that there was more. Even if there was just the tiniest doubt in Felicity that their night hadn’t meant anything, it was all he needed. He would take that doubt and get to her with that. He would prove to her that that doubt was there for a reason.

For a moment, he considered what to do. He knew what he wanted to do, but he didn’t want to push too much.

No matter how much he tried to convince himself to take it easy, he couldn’t stop thinking that all of this was long overdue though.

“Will you- I mean after some time passed, in a week or two maybe if you have time there- maybe we could-“

Oliver cleared his throat and took in a deep breath. It wasn’t the first time he was asking someone out on a date. He had done so a dozen of times before, but this was the first time that he was getting all shy trying to do so. It was a really unusual feeling because he knew that most girls in schools had been dreaming about being asked out on a date by him. He had been quite admired by the ladies in high school.

With Felicity, it was different though. She had never been the usual kind of girl. She had always been extraordinary. He had admired that about her from the first second on, but now it almost scared him a little because he didn’t know if there was a chance that she would turn him down, but it would cause a lot of damage for him if she did. It had never been like that with any other girl.

Felicity was looking at him, her lips rolled into her mouth slightly. Oliver didn’t know if she was trying to hide a smile or if she was secretly chewing on her bottom lip. He decided to focus on her eyes, and in them offered them something he couldn’t name but that he needed very much.

“Felicity,” he said calmly, “will you go out to dinner with me?”

He pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants nervously and hunched his shoulders. He had never felt so powerless or so shy, but there was just so much hanging onto her answer. All of his happiness seemed to be dependent on it.

A thousand emotions were showing on Felicity’s face. There was hesitation and shyness. There was even a glimpse of fear. Everything on her face told him that she would reject his proposal to go out with him, and he was almost about to take it back already.

At the end, a soft smile spread on her lips though.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

In the back of his mind, Oliver knew that he should probably just be relieved that she hadn’t turned down his offer, smile and walk away before she could make up her mind about it. Getting a date with Felicity was a lot more than he could have ever hope for. She was a lot smarter and a lot… she was just so much better than him.

He just couldn’t stop himself.

“Yeah.”

Now the smile that had spread on Felicity’s face grew even wider. All the shyness and hesitation that had been on her face before was pushed away by the bright joy. Oliver felt it infecting him, and the wide smile that he hadn’t been able to show before spread on his lips now. His face almost hurt from the feeling, but it was the best kind of pain he had ever gone through.

They smiled at each other like that for a long moment. All the awkwardness that had built between them in the last few weeks was gone. There was just them.

Oliver didn’t know if he had ever felt closer to Felicity. All he knew was that he had never felt as drawn to her as he was feeling right now. His eyes flickered to her lips, and he could feel the pooling heat in his stomach that he had felt during their night together. It wasn’t just some raw desire for her. It was the desperate need to kiss her.

When Oliver lifted his gaze back towards Felicity’s eyes, he could see the same need in her eyes. There was something about the color of her iris. It looked like the color was deeper and carried more intensity.

They moved together slowly at first. Inch by inch, their bodies moved towards another like some greater power was making them move without their conscience. The few inches separating them were closed quickly though, and their arms wrapped around each other’s bodies tightly as they hugged each other as closely as possible.

Despite the burning need on his lips, Oliver felt like this was exactly how it was supposed to be. Holding Felicity so close that he could feel her heartbeat against his lips was what he had needed a lot more than a kiss. This was exactly what he had needed.

Losing the woman that he had just admitted to himself he had feelings for had been bad. The thought that he had lost his best friend had almost killed him though. That was why he was so relieved now because, at least right now, he was holding his best friend in his arms again.

Pushing his face against the side of her neck, he breathed her in. His arms tightened around her body even more.

There was a part of him that wanted to ask Felicity to never leave him again, but he knew it was way too much to say. They had just found some mutual footing again. He shouldn’t risk that by making her lose her beat.

“God, I missed you so much,” he said instead, his voice heavy with emotions. “I missed you so, so much.”

Felicity snuggled herself closer to him and her nose pressed against his collar bone through his shirt. Oliver smiled at that and tightened his arms around her once more.

“I missed you too,” Felicity whispered. “So much.”

Oliver brushed his fingertips over the end of her ponytail. Without really knowing it, he started rocking her from side to side. They were swaying like that, still holding each other close.

He really wished that they could stay here forever. Up here in their treehouse with their arms wrapped around each other, he felt like nothing could hurt them. If time froze right here, he’d forever be a happy man.

“I will leave Starling for a while,” Oliver whispered, “just for a week or such until everything had calmed down.”

He could feel Felicity’s arm tighten around him. She didn’t want him to leave just like Oliver had wished he could hold her like this forever.

“Where are you going?”

“To Metropolis I guess.” Oliver grinned slightly. “I already booked a ticket to travel after you, so it sounds like the best solution.”

Felicity angled her head back and it made Oliver pull back just enough to look at her. Her cheek was still snuggled against his chest while her eyes was focused on him. Oliver smiled, brushing his fingers through her hair to tug some strands out of her face.

Warmth spread around his heart. This was a view he could get used to, especially since Felicity looked like she was right where she belonged.

“You would have followed me to Metropolis?”

“I would have followed you anywhere,” Oliver replied honestly. “No matter where you would have run to, you can bet your ass that I would have been there tomorrow too.”

Oliver wasn’t sure, but he thought that he saw surprise flashing through her eyes. Since she had been left by her father, she hadn’t had much faith in the world they were living in. She didn’t have much faith in men in particular.

Oliver knew that he’d do anything to give her back that faith though.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, Felicity lowered her eyes. She still didn’t dare to hope that someone would want her so much in their life that they’d drop everything to get to her. After all the years, Oliver had hoped that she’d know better, but he guessed a trauma like that was hard to overcome completely.

“I will make myself scarce,” he added after a moment, “and not tell anyone else where I am going, so I’d be grateful if you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

Oliver smiled. His secrets had always been safe with her. He knew he could count on that staying true now too.

“If you need me, I am always available for you,” he added. “One call or even just a text, and I am on the next flight to Starling.”

He didn’t need to see it to know that Felicity was smiling, and he didn’t need her to say it for him to know that she was grateful. They knew each other well enough for things like that. Even if they didn’t, they just weren’t as important.

Instead, they continued holding each other. That was the one and only thing that counted. That was all that was important.

 

* * *

 

With a long sigh, Oliver pulled his helmet from his head and looked at the veneer of his parents’ mansion.

He dreaded going in there after he had canceled the wedding and had just decided to leave Starling for an entire week. Just like he had said he would, Oliver hadn’t taken any calls. That hadn’t stopped his mother from leaving a dozen messages on his voicemail. Maybe it had even forced her to do so.

If there was one thing Oliver knew, it was that his mother was angry with him. Her anger had come through in every single one of her messages. It wasn’t the fact that he and McKenna had decided to cancel the wedding that had made her angry though. It was the fact that he had just left instead of taking responsibility and facing the consequences of his actions. Apparently, leading the crisis management of the canceled wedding day and the week that had followed had been anything but easy for his mother.

While he had been on his way back to Starling earlier today, he had tried to reason with himself whether or not he should go to his parents today. He wasn’t really interested in hearing his mother lamenting about the bad decision he had made for himself and for his family. He knew that there was no way for him to avoid this conversation once he was back in Starling anyway, so he may as well get over with it already.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver got off his motorcycle and walked towards the front doors. He guessed if he just focused on the feeling that had spread in every cell of his body while he had been holding Felicity in their treehouse last week, he’d make it through this. He just had to focus on the good that would come to his life because he had finally been able to admit his love for her. It should be enough to carry him through this conversation too.

When Oliver entered, he put his helmet on the small table next to the door like he always did. He knew better than to call for his parents as he crossed the foyer. He knew that his parents had probably seen that he had rode up the driveway and had already gathered in the living room.

Indeed, that was where he found them. His mother was sitting on the couch, her legs crossed and a cup of tea in her hands. He looked at her with sharp eyes when he entered. It only confirmed to him what he knew already, that this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation to have.

Oliver was glad that his dad was there. Robert was standing at one of the windows, looking outside into the garden. There was a smile playing around the corners of his lips. His father tried to hide it, but Oliver could see it nonetheless. He was the one person to know at least a break of the background of what had happened that day since it had been his words that had eventually prompted Oliver to reconsider his decision.

“Hi.”

A sharp furrow formed between his mother’s eyebrows, and Oliver actually regretted his choice of words or rather word a little.

“Hi?” Moira repeated and put her cup of tea onto the couch table with so much force that the liquid spilled over the rim. “That is what you choose to say after what you have done? Hi?”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy to have this conversation. Since he couldn’t explain all the reasons why he had suddenly known that he couldn’t get married to McKenna, his mother wouldn’t understand it, and she would probably be angry with him for a while.

That euphoric part of himself would love to call from the rooftops that he had a date with Felicity Meghan Smoak, but he knew that he couldn’t do so. He and Felicity had chosen to keep it a secret until they knew whether there was something coming from that or not. Given that their mothers were best friends, they had known that this was the best they could do to prevent that more people than necessary would get hurt.

“Mom, I-“

“I cannot believe that you chose to do this,” his mother interrupted him. “It’s one thing to cancel a wedding last minute and-“

“Moira.”

Robert’s voice was as soft as Oliver had barely heard it in his life. His father crossed the distances towards his wife and sat down on the edge of the backrest. With a hand on Moira’s shoulder, he shot his son a brief glance before looking back at his wife again.

“Darling, let’s give Oliver a chance to explain himself.”

Oliver could see that it wasn’t an easy thing to ask of his mother. She looked like she wanted to rave and rant rather than listen. When she angled her head back and looked at her husband’s face, she smiled softly though. With a sigh, she rested her hand over Robert’s on her shoulder and looked at Oliver. She nodded, giving her go for him to speak.

“Mom, I am very sorry,” Oliver started and took a step closer. “I know I put you and dad in a terrible situation, cleaning after me and the mess I made.”

His mother nodded slightly, and Oliver knew that he was on the right path here. What his mother needed was an honest apology and a good explanation. He knew the first thing was something he could offer. The problem would be with the second part.

“It was never my plan to cancel this wedding last minute.” Oliver cleared his throat, feeling his voice roughen from the guilt he was still feeling. “When I started getting ready that morning, I had the plan to go through with the wedding no matter what. If I had known any earlier, I would have stopped this before all guests had gathered in our garden and everything had been set up perfectly.”

Oliver had had thousands of doubts about that wedding. Still, he honestly thought that he would have said yes if his father called him out on his feelings for Felicity. Maybe he would have changed his mind right before saying yes after all, but they would never know about that now.

For a while, he had struggled with the thought of what might have or might not have happened. He had been lying awake at night in Metropolis, thinking about it. At the end, he had figured that he couldn’t think about all possible scenarios without losing himself. For his well being, the best he could do was to focus on the way everything had played out, especially the fact that he and McKenna had faced the truth soon enough.

“McKenna and I just realized that it wouldn’t have been right,” he continued after a moment, shaking his head. “We didn’t love each other enough to go through with this. Neither of us would have been happy if we had decided to get married. We might have had a nice life because we got along well, but we figured that we both wanted and needed more than just a nice life. We wanted, needed and deserved extraordinary love, the kind of love you only get to experience when you are madly in love. I know that this decision happened way too late, but better before the wedding than after it, right?”

While his mother was sucking in a deep breath, Oliver glanced at his father briefly. He was smiling at him softly. With closed eyes, he angled his head forward to a barely visible nod. When he didn’t manage to convince his mother of the rightfulness of this decision, at least he had his father on his side.

Looking back at his mother, he still saw his mother struggling with her reaction. He didn’t doubt that his words had reached through to her. He could see in her eyes that he had reached her at least partly which was more than he had hoped he would.

Still, her conservative attitude stopped her from forgiving him that easily. Since the moment she had married into the Queen Family, she had done her best to protect her loved ones from any pain, including the pain caused by a bad reputation. The gossip magazines had been full of headlines and stories about the canceled wedding and it wasn’t casting a good light onto the family.

Eventually, his mother released a long sigh. She moved to the edge of the couch. It made Robert’s hand fall off her shoulder. She didn’t seem to mind much though.

“I understand that,” she said honestly, nodding her head slowly, “and I think that you have probably made the right decision.”

Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth. He knew it had already taken a lot of his mother to say this. She had liked McKenna and she had certainly seen her as a woman worth the name of her family which she held quite dear.

Still, Oliver knew that this wasn’t the end yet.

“But?” he asked, knowing it would come.

Moira sighed once more. “But I still can’t help but think that there would have been better ways to deal with this. If you and McKenna had announced the cancellation of your wedding together, you would have spared our family as well as the Halls a lot of rumors. The words that have been said about you hurt me a lot since I am your mother and my first instinct will always be to protect you, but it would have been easier if I had known what was true and what wasn’t.”

Oliver hunched his shoulders, lowering his head. He hadn’t seen it from his mother’s perspective so far. With her words, she proved to him that the easy way out had hurt his family though. Especially his mother, who had always been a mama bear who would protect her children at all cost, most have suffered from the outcome.

While Oliver felt sorry for his mother, he knew that he had made the right decision for himself though. If he hadn’t left right then, he might have never met Felicity in their treehouse. Everything between them would have just been more messed up if it had taken longer as Felicity would have probably heard about the canceled wedding from Donna and would have blamed herself for it and the chaos would have taken its course.

Since Oliver didn’t know what else to say to his mother, he just waited for her to continue. He almost expected her to go back to being really angry with him, but she had released another one of those long sighs. When Oliver lifted his gaze, he saw her getting up from the couch and smoothing the invisible wrinkles from the skirt of her dress.

“You have to excuse me,” she said with soft voice. “I have been plagued by a migraine all day. I will lie down.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if she was just trying to escape the situation, unwilling to talk about her son’s failure anymore. When he had been younger, she had often found reasons to get away from conversations like this. In consequence, Oliver had learned to connect her migraines with his own failures.

When Moira was about to walk past him, she stopped though. Releasing another one of those sighs, she turned towards him. She put a gentle hand to the side of his face and brushed a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you, Oliver,” she said, looking at him with her deep blue eyes which color he had inherited. “I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy.”

With that, she walked past him and left the room. The feeling of her warm hand against the side of his face stayed with Oliver though.

Oliver released a long sigh and dropped down into the armchair closest to him. At least now he knew that his mother would forgive him with some time. She wanted him to be happy, just like she had always wanted him to be. It was all that was needed for her to find her forgiveness because her wish for her kids to be happy would always be stronger than anything else, even stronger than maintaining the reputation of a happy family.

“Here.”

At his father’s word, Oliver opened his eyes. Robert was standing in front of him. He was nipping at a glass of scotch, while he was holding a second one out for Oliver. As soon as Oliver lifted his hand, his dad thrusted the glass into his hand.

“Cheers,” Oliver said, raising his glass, and took a sip of the drink that felt like it was burning down his throat and right into his stomach. Scotch had never been his kind of drink. “It’s good.”

Robert grinned, and Oliver was sure that he knew exactly that scotch just wasn’t his son’s kind of drink. He preferred beer and wine over anything else.

A moment of silent passed. Oliver moved his glass in his hand and watched the golden liquid move in consequence to that too. He didn’t know why it fascinated him so much, but there was something about the way the scotch moved in the glass that distracted it.

“So,” Robert called for his son’s attention eventually, “did you talk to Felicity already?”

Immediately, Oliver put his glass down. All week, he had waited for a moment that he’d be able to talk about this even if it was to some stranger’s dog that he would pet. Since his father had been in on the story more than anyone else, it felt right for him to be the first to know about this though.

“I talked to Felicity the day of the wedding,” he explained. “We have a date next week.”

They had a date next week. Whenever he had thought about this the last couple of days, his heart had been going crazy. It was nothing compared to the way his heart was racing in his chest now. It was beating with so much force that he wouldn’t be surprised if his ribs broke. At the same time, it was beating so quickly that Oliver had trouble breathing.

Robert perked up his eyebrows slightly, watching Oliver over the edge of his glass. Despite the intense expression in his father’s eyes, Oliver didn’t look away. He knew his father was testing him and testing how serious he was about this.

“I hope you will use your chance wisely.”

“I will,” Oliver said firmly. “You can trust me on that one.”

Again, Robert looked at his son thoroughly. When he saw no doubt in Oliver’s eyes, he nodded his head though. He took another sip of the drink and sighed contently after he had swallowed.

“Then I will trust you on that one,” Robert said, but he still looked at his son intently. “Just let me say this one. You only meet a person like Felicity once in your life, so don’t screw it up.”

Oliver smiled, knowing how much Felicity meant to his father too. After her own father had abandoned her, it was a good feeling knowing that his father loved her as much as a father should.

Lifting his glass to his lips, Oliver agreed. “And even the chances for that are one in a million.”

 

* * *

 

Lifting the mug that she had between both of her hands to her nose, Felicity breathed in the warm steam that came from the liquid. The scent wasn’t as delicious as it would if be if she was holding a mug of coffee, but it really wasn’t bad for tea which was certainly the nicest words she had ever had for tea.

Opening her eyes, she looked at her mother and said, “It smells delicious.”

Donna, who was looking at Felicity with slightly narrowed eyes, cocked her head. Her fingertips were drumming against the porcelain of her mug rhythmically. Instead of answering immediately, she released a long sigh and took some sips of her own tea.

“I still cannot believe that you would have just left Starling City without telling me about it,” she said eventually and shook her head. “I thought we were closer than that.”

Felicity suppressed a low sigh. She knew it was bad when her mother didn’t even say anything about the fact that Felicity praised the tea. It was no secret to mother or daughter that Felicity was a coffee addict and disliked tea.

Moving slowly to give herself a little more time, Felicity put her mug onto the coffee table. If liking her tea was not going to soothe her mother, she wouldn’t have to force herself drinking any of it she guessed. It might have smelled delicious compared to other tea her mother had offered her, but it was still far from being anything Felicity would like to drink.

Felicity tried to think about what she could possibly say to her mother. She couldn’t tell her the full truth because she and Oliver had decided to keep it a secret. As long as everything was still so insecure and unstable, they had just decided that it was best to not talk about it with anyone yet.

It would make it harder to make her mother forgive her, but of course Felicity try nonetheless though. Her mother deserved nothing less. Even if she didn’t Felicity know she just had to.

“Mom, it has just all been too much for me,” Felicity said honestly though she knew that her words couldn’t be vaguer. “It’s been way too much.”

Donna frowned slightly and looked her daughter up and down.

Felicity wondered why she had chosen to tell her mother the truth in the first place. Maybe she should have just pretended that she was sick, but she guessed her mother would have been even more suspicious then. Felicity hadn’t answered any of her calls or texts that day after all, and Felicity had never been a good liar anyway.

It was why Felicity had, once she had taken her mother’s call and her mother had asked her where she had been while the wedding drama had taken its turn, told her mother that she had been on the way to Metropolis. The news had shocked Donna even more than the way the wedding had played out. She had asked for some time to process that and kept her distance for the week which told Felicity a lot about how hurt her mother had been by her actions.

“What has been too much for you?” Donna asked eventually. “Was it because of Carter?”

“No,” Felicity said immediately and bit down on her tongue because, again, lying would have been so much easier. “It was just that I felt like I was falling back into old habits. I took a job at Queen Consolidated. I worked from morning until late into the night. I spent most of my time with Oliver, who already had someone in his life to take care of.”

Felicity shook her head slightly. It wasn’t even untrue that all of that had scared her. She felt like she had always been a little too connected to the Queen Family. She knew that she shouldn’t feel that way because for the Queens, she was part of the family. They were her family too which was only one more reason to take their help gratefully instead of feeling guilty about it. Still, she couldn’t help but feel that she needed to stand on her own feet. At least sometimes she felt that way.

When Donna nodded slightly, Felicity bit back a sigh of relief. Her mother might not agree with what her daughter was saying, but at least she understood it. From the expression in her mother’s eyes, Felicity could tell that her mother had more to say about her guilt regarding the Queens’ help, but with a shake of her head she seemed to push those thoughts away.

“So, what made you change your mind?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. A not so small part of her wanted to tell her mother about Oliver. Getting it off her chest would feel good. Through the last days, Felicity’s nervousness and excitement about the upcoming date had only increased with every time she and Oliver had talked on the phone, unable to keep their distance from each other completely.

The fluttering feeling in her stomach was proof of that. She couldn’t wait for this date, and it only made her more nervous. It shouldn’t mean that much to her this quickly, especially since they still didn’t know if any of the feelings that they had for each other were enough to make something out of it.

That was exactly why she couldn’t tell her mother. If she knew that there might be a chance that Oliver and Felicity would get together, she would tell Moira. The two of them would put all their hope into it then. They’d be disappointed if it didn’t work out at the end, maybe even angry enough to blame the failure on each other’s child.

“I just got a feeling that it wasn’t the best idea,” Felicity explained and shrugged her shoulders. “I came to Starling City because I thought it was the best place for me to be, privately and professionally. It was a decision that I only made after a long process of thinking it through and evaluating all my options because I knew that it was a big decision to make. Things might have turned out differently than expected at the end, but Starling City is still the best place for me to be. If I can be happy somewhere, it’s here.”

Felicity’s words seemed to have washed away the anger and disappointment her mother had felt before. Maybe all Donna had really needed was to understand Felicity before she could forgive her. It was always easier to forgive if you understood why a person acted the way they did.

Leaning forward, Donna smiled softly and put her hands on Felicity’s.

“I understand that this has all been overwhelming for you lately,” Donna said, “and I understand that it’s tempting to just run away when that happens. Just promise me that next time you consider leaving Starling, you will let me say goodbye to you first.”

Relieved that her mother forgave her, Felicity released a sigh. She squeezed her mother’s hands and nodded her head.

“I promise.”

When her Donna pulled Felicity into a tight hug, she let it happen easily. Wrapping her arms around her mother’s body, she hugged her back and held her just as tightly. She knew her mother needed it right now.

After Noah had left the family, Donna had been devastated and lost. She hadn’t been able to provide even the most necessary things for her daughter which had made her feel even more lost. Being left and abandoned wasn’t only an issue for Felicity and, sadly, she had almost forgotten about it.

“It’s been a crazy day,” Donna said after a brief pause, still holding her daughter. “You were about to leave the city for good. McKenna and Oliver decided to cancel their wedding last minute and hide away from the consequences. The only thing that would have made this day crazier was if you and Oliver had actually run away together.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. If she had hoped that the time for those comments was over for good now, she had been wrong. Obviously, her mother had no trouble resuming her teasing now that Oliver and Felicity were free again.

Usually, Felicity would tell her mother that this would only happen in her dreams. This time, Felicity stayed quiet though. She couldn’t honestly reject this because maybe her mother’s hope for a developing love story between her daughter and Oliver was not that far off the mark as she might think.

Just maybe.


	16. Hygge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I have my exam coming up next Tuesday (2 class reviews & an oral exam). It’s all keeping me busy, so I don’t know where my head is right now. Take [this photo](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5qLJ92WAAA37UC.png) of the dress I imagine on Felicity as an excuse. :)  
> 

_= A warm and cozy feeling that washes over you; it needs to be experienced to know (Danish)_

 

He looked okay, handsome even.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver pushed back his shoulders and buttoned up the jacket of his suit. He turned slightly, so he was looking at his reflection from a new angle that he felt made him look a little slimmer and more muscular.

His hands moved over the fabric of his suit slowly, smoothing the wrinkles that probably nobody than him would have seen. He noticed that his hands were shaking lightly and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, breathing out slowly.

Opening his eyes, he looked himself up and down once more. He had chosen a dark blue suit with a vest because he knew that Felicity likes suits with vests and tuxedos with suspenders. To bring out the color of his eyes, he had put on a deep blue tie. With his hair being back in shape and his stubble being scratchy and a little longer than he usually wore it, he really looked presentable he guessed.

Nodding to himself slowly, he met his own eyes in the mirror. No matter how hard he tried to push away his nervousness and to focus on how excited and happy he was about this chance. It only made him feel more nervous.

With a long sigh, Oliver sat down on the edge of the mattress and let his head fall into his hand. He squeezed his eyes shut and took some more deep breaths.

It hadn’t been that long that a chance to be with Felicity had been unreachable for him. He had been sure that he would forever hold Felicity dear to his heart, but he would never have the chance to have her in his life again. He had imagined living his life with McKenna and still having Felicity right in his reach, a constant reminded for how badly he had screwed up.

Through some miraculous incidents, life had turned around though. Now he had that chance with Felicity and he knew he had to used it.

Given the long way full of bumps he and Felicity had gone through to get here, he was sure that this was his only chance. If he screwed up today, he’d lose Felicity forever. He guessed that was why he was so nervous.

He had been nervous about a lot of things in his life, but he had never been as nervous as he was now. Never before, he had been so nervous that his hands had been shaking and his heart had been racing. It felt like something utterly unfamiliar to him.

His nervousness would make it hard to go through the evening without messing up. Hence, he really had to up his game and go all in to make it work and now screw it up.

With that thought in mind, Oliver got up. He didn’t take another look in the mirror because it didn’t matter what he looked like anyway. Felicity had seen him when he had been at his worst, whether it was because of some stomach flu or a hangover. She knew what he looked like in every possible situation in life.

Oliver went down the stairs quickly and looked over the living area for a moment until he found his keys on the couch table. He formed his fist around them tightly and turned towards the door.

Before Oliver could take a single step towards it, he heard the key turning in the lock though. A moment later, the door opened and McKenna stepped into the penthouse where they had used to live together.

She kicked the door shut behind her and lifted her gaze. Her eyes locked with his, and Oliver could see that she was just as surprised to see him as he was surprised to see her. Since their canceled wedding day, they hadn’t talked to each other.

“Hey,” Oliver said eventually, finding his voice first. “I thought you were still in St. Lucia.”

St. Lucia had been on one of the lists of most adventures places to go to for the honeymoon. That was why he and McKenna had decided that it would be the perfect place for them to go. They had always loved adventures. Their plan hadn’t been to spend three weeks in their hotel room or at the beach bar. They had wanted to be active, outside of the bed by day and inside bed by night.

McKenna pursed her lips slightly and lowered her gaze to the keys in her hands. She looked uncomfortable, and Oliver regretted asking her. He had hurt her enough as it was. Asking about their honeymoon, that McKenna had gone to alone at the end, was just rubbing in how badly he had screwed up and how much he had hurt her.

When McKenna lifted her gaze, there was a gleam of tears in her eyes. Oliver could see how badly she tried to push it back and hide it from him, so he didn’t say anything about it.

“After two weeks, I just felt it was time to come back and face the consequences of our decision,” she explained with quiet voice and shrugged her shoulders. “I talked to my parents about our decision to cancel the wedding, and they understand it.”

“That’s good.” Oliver nodded slowly, pushing his hands into the pockets of his pants and hunching his shoulders. “And now?”

McKenna nodded towards the upper area of the loft. “I just wanted to get some of my stuff, just enough to be dressed decently for the next couple of days. I will just get everything else in the next week if that is okay with you.”

“Of course,” Oliver replied firmly. “Take your time.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, neither of them saying a word. Their break-up had been so very adult and without any drama. Even now, they were talking like two adults. Nobody was crying and nobody was screaming. They were handling this the way people should, Oliver guessed.

Maybe that made it even harder.

“Are you going to stand there and stare at me the entire time while I am packing my stuff?” McKenna asked eventually and cleared her throat. “It’s a little awkward.”

Clearing his throat to suppress a chuckle, Oliver lowered his gaze. Even now McKenna hadn’t lost her humor. He guessed it was a good sign that she was going to get over this one day.

“No,” he said eventually and nodded towards the door. “I was actually about to leave.”

When McKenna looked him up and down, Oliver pursed his lips. He had stared at his reflection in the mirror long enough to know exactly what McKenna was seeing. She was a good detective, so Oliver was sure that she could easily suspect what this look on him meant.

“You have a date?”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yeah.”

“Felicity?”

Again, Oliver nodded. “Yeah.”

In contradistinction to everything Oliver had thought would happen, McKenna smiled warmly. Without saying a word, she stepped forward slowly until she stood right in front of him. She framed his face with her hands and brushed a kiss to the corner of his lips.

“Good for you,” she whispered, “so good luck tonight.”

Oliver didn’t know where McKenna took this strength from. Since he kind of hoped that there was a position as his new best friend available after tonight, he was almost tempted to offer it to her. She’d be a good best friend. There was a good reason for why they had gotten along so well all these years after all.

Maybe in a few years, that was different.

“Goodbye, McKenna.”

“Goodbye, Oliver.”

She stroked her fingers over his neck once more and stepped away from Oliver. He hesitated a moment before he walked past her and stepped through the door.

The sound of the door falling shut left a bitter taste on his tongue. He had hurt so many people with the way he had handled things. Nobody could be blamed for what had happened but him. Still, he was the one going out on a date, while McKenna had to find a new place to stay and start a new life and both of their families were left with the ugly story of this canceled wedding.

During the last two weeks, Oliver had wondered if maybe all the mess that had been done was the reason why he and Felicity were trying to find out if there was more in the first place. Maybe they were trying to make more into it than there was because it would make some sense into all the pain they had caused.

As many times as that thought might have crossed his mind, Oliver had managed to push it away as far as possible for him. What he and Felicity had was real, and it had been real for years already. The situation they had maneuvered themselves in had simply caused them to finally admit it to themselves.

What he and Felicity had was real.

Oliver let that thought echo in his head and in his heart again and again. For the first time since he had woken up this morning with the thought of their date in mind, he felt his heartbeat calming down.

Apparently, just reassuring himself that he and Felicity had something good was all that he needed to find the calmness he had been lacking so much these last hours. It just gave him some safety that things were turning out well at the end.

With that thought in mind, Oliver headed down into the underground parking.

The drive through the city went a lot quicker than he had thought it would. Maybe he was just too distracted to be annoyed about traffic though. His head was full of scenarios how this date could possibly go. Most of those scenarios were absolutely crazy. For example, he thought about what would happen if a crazy guy would fire a rocket launcher into the restaurant, and he would rush to Felicity’s side to cover her body from any harm.

Apparently, his brain was going completely crazy with the thought of this date now.

Oliver made it to the restaurant ten minutes ahead of time. Turning off the engine and getting out of the car, he looked at the restaurant. It was a nice, little bistro in the middle of downtown. It had only been opened last month, but the critics really looked good as the food was fancy and the service was excellent.

The Maître d’hôtel, a young man with dark curls and wake eyes, looked up from the booking ledge when Oliver stepped in. Oliver almost expected him to look him up and down with a conceited expression in his eyes. He remembered that gaze from his childhood and his youth when his parents had taken him to one of these fancy restaurants, and the adults had looked at him like he was a little parasite or whatever.

Instead, the man smiled politely and asked, “How can I help you, Sir?”

“Queen,” Oliver said, stepping to the front desk. “I booked a table for two.”

“Very well.” The man took another brief look at his booking ledge before he lifted his eyes towards Oliver once more. “Follow me please.”

Oliver was led to a table at the large window front. The table was slightly hidden behind some large plants, just like he had asked for. Given his recently canceled wedding with McKenna, he didn’t want anyone to see him with Felicity and make up stories or tell their mothers. If things between him and Felicity would work out, he wanted to share the story on their terms and nobody else’s.

Sitting down on the chair that allowed him to overlook the restaurants, Oliver released another long breath. It was getting serious now he guessed. Felicity should arrive any minute.

When the waitress, a young woman with red hair and green eyes, stepped to his table, Oliver lifted his gaze. She was smiling the same polite smile the maître d’hôtel had. There was just that sparkle in her eyes that he had seen in too many women a few too many times these past years and really couldn’t use today.

“May I serve you a drink, Sir?”

Oliver was about to reject when the thought of a scotch crossed his mind. Maybe it would help his nerves a little if he got to take a sip or two of his drink before Felicity arrived.

“I’d-“

The moment Oliver lifted his gaze, all words that had been on his mind before fading away. Even if he was able to still have a clear thought, he doubted that he could say a single word right now. He was actually sure that, no matter how hard he would try, he couldn’t do anything but stare at Felicity right now.

She was following the maître’d, who was leading her through the restaurant towards him. The red dress she was wearing fitted around her body perfectly, accenting every curve. A small cut in the knee-length skirt made her legs look even longer. Her long blonde hair was falling in soft waves, covering her shoulders that her off-shoulder dress had left bare.

She was absolutely stunning. Breathtaking even.

It dazzled him how he had been able to overlook his feelings for her for so long now. Just looking at her, everything inside of him started tingling. He had never felt like that with any other woman and he doubted he would ever feel like that with any other woman in the future either. It had always been and would always be her.

Oliver didn’t know when or why the waitress had left. When he got up to welcome Felicity, the redhead was gone though. The maître’d’ bowed down a little towards Oliver before he left too, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone.

There was a long moment of silence as they were looking at each other. They took each other in like it was the first time they were seeing each other in years, and maybe that was true to some degree. For years, they had only looked at each other as friends because they had both limited themselves to seeing that and only that in each other. Now that was different.

When their eyes met, Oliver couldn’t help but smile through his nervousness. There was a spark in Felicity’s eyes that told him that she liked what she saw. He had made a good choice with his outfit today.

“Hey,” Oliver said softly.

Though a tender smile spread on her lips, Felicity sounded almost a little breathless when she replied, “Hi.”

Hesitatingly, Oliver leaned forward and hugged Felicity. His arms wrapped around her small figure for a moment, his fingers spreading on her back and covering it almost completely. His nose rested on the crown of her head. He breathed in the scent that was all hers and brushed his lips against Felicity’s cheek slightly when he pulled away.

They smiled at each other for a moment longer before they sat down at the table. They both released a long breath at the same time. When their eyes met, they chuckled.

“Nervous?” Felicity asked.

“Yeah,” Oliver replied in a whisper. “Terribly nervous.”

“Well, line forms behind me.”

Oliver smiled with relief. Knowing that she was as nervous as he was proved to him that she wanted this as much as he himself wanted this. He guessed it was easier to get through the nervousness when they were both feeling the same thing. They could be open with each other that way, more than they could be if their feelings were one-sided.

When the waitress stepped towards the table this time, Oliver didn’t hesitate to order. His throat was burning with the need for a good drink.

“Scotch,” he asked. “Neat.”

The waitress nodded before she turned to Felicity.

“Just a water for me, thanks.”

“Are you- are you sure?” Oliver asked quickly and held the waitress back before she could leave. “The booze might sort of help with the whole-“

“The alcohol is not going to mix well with the three benzos I took.”

Oliver nodded slowly and let the waitress leave to get their drinks. He moved his fingers along the edge of the table to smooth out the wrinkles from the tablecloth though there weren’t any in the first place.

His heart was thrumming in his chest, causing the blood to rush in his ears. He was barely able to hear anything else over the sound. He was still so very nervous and now that it was getting serious, not even telling himself that all of this was real helped. Actually, it seemed to make his nervousness only worse.

“Are we being crazy?” Oliver asked, lifting his gaze back towards Felicity’s face with a frown. “I mean, what do we have to be nervous about?”

“Well, we’ve already exhausted every topic that one would normally talk about on a first date and a second date and a third date, and every date, actually, and we’ve already had sex. Twice.” Felicity cleared her throat, a deep blush rising to her throats. “And this is exactly why I will not order any alcohol tonight.”

Oliver had to bite back a smile. He didn’t want to make fun of Felicity, but he couldn’t help but to be amused by her babbling. It had always been charming to him when she was talking and talking without really realizing what she was saying. It was something to make him smile even when he was feeling absolutely down.

Luckily, the waitress returned with their drinks before the chuckle broke out of Oliver. She said she was going to get them the menus before she left them alone once more.

Oliver raised his glass. “To us.”

“To us,” Felicity repeated his toast and touched her glass with his.

They both took some sips of their drinks. Oliver felt the scotch burning down his throat into his stomach. It was a good feeling, just what he had needed. He enjoyed the feeling and let it last a little longer by taking another sip.

When Oliver lowered his glass and lifted his gaze, he found Felicity’s eyes on her already. They were sparkling with amusement, affecting him immediately. A feeling of warmth that didn’t come from the scotch spread inside of his chest and in his stomach.

“What?”

“Well, Oliver Queen was on time for once,” she said, and her smile widened. “I guess I have to mark this day in my calendar.”

Oliver chuckled. Though there was a part of him that felt the need to lower his eyes, he held her gaze. It was intense, but it felt right.

“I was actually here early,” Oliver replied, “at least seven minutes early. I didn’t want you to wait for me.”

Felicity held his gaze for a moment longer. When the lock of their eyes broke, it was Felicity who caused it. She lowered her eyes to the tablecloth.

There was tension between them. At least that was undeniable. Oliver just couldn’t say if it was a good kind of tension that came from the bottled-up feelings that they had for each other or the bad kind of tension that came from the crappy things they had been through lately. Maybe it was a mixture of both, but he really couldn’t tell.

Oliver took another sip of his scotch before he asked, “Have you decided on whether or not you want to get a dog now?”

Surprise was visible in Felicity’s eyes when she lifted her gaze. Oliver smiled softly, knowing that she would be surprised that he remembered. She had just mentioned that idea to get a dog once, and she hadn’t even told him about it but John. Oliver had just overheard a part of the conversation.

“I don’t think it’s the right time,” Felicity said, shrugging her shoulders. “Getting a dog means taking a lot of responsibility. Maybe some day.”

Oliver nodded slowly. He got the weird feeling that Felicity didn’t want to talk about it, but he had no idea what else they could possibly talk about. His mind was completely empty. Hence, he just stayed silent and Felicity didn’t say anything either.

Pressing his lips together, Oliver looked around the restaurant and watched the other people having dinner here. There were a lot of couples or pairs of people that he guessed were couples. They were chatting lightly, smiling and laughing. Neither of them looked like they had the same trouble having a conversation as he and Felicity did.

The silence continued. The tension felt like it was stretched to the breaking point. It was awkward, just as awkward as it had been during the first time after their night together.

“This is even more difficult than I thought it would be.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if Felicity had wanted to keep that whisper just for himself. Whether or not that had been her plan, he had heard her anyway. He knew he could ignore it and pretend that he hadn’t heard her, but that wouldn’t be honest. And he had always been honest to her.

“These last two weeks, I tried to figure out what we could talk about during this date,” Oliver said softly, his voice lowered to a whisper, “but nothing came to mind. At the end, I decided that I didn’t need any topics to talk about anyway. I thought you would just babble away and I wouldn’t get to say anything, so I could just smile at you admiringly.”

Felicity opened her mouth for a moment like she wanted to reply to him already. Before any sound could fall from her lips, the meaning of his words seemed to catch up to him. She closed her lips again and smiled, slightly flattered by what he had just said.

The tension seemed to cease a little again, and Oliver had to hold back a sigh of relief. This up and down could easily cause whiplash if it continued like that.

Even if it did, it didn’t matter though. Felicity would be worth it anyway.

The waitress returned and handed them the menus, giving them something to talk about. Food was something they had been able to talk about for hours these last years after all. Since Oliver loved cooking and they both loved eating, there was always something to talk about when the conversation revolved around food.

Over the edge of his own menu card, Oliver watched Felicity. Her eyes were directed at the menu card in her hands. She was studying it with focus, taking everything in and considering the different options she got like she always did. The little crease between her eyebrows told him that she was troubling to find out what she wanted to eat.

Oliver smiled softly as he continued watching her. Felicity always needed a lot of time to choose what she wanted to eat. She loved trying new things, and she barely ever chose the safe option. It was one of the many things he had always admired about her. As calculated as her choice was, it was barely ever predictable.

When Felicity lifted her gaze briefly, she smiled. Oliver was almost sure that she had felt his gaze on her skin. They had always been so aware of each other that they knew when the other was around or looking at them. At least it was what Oliver had always felt.

Still smiling, Oliver lowered his gaze to the menu card and started reading it. The dishes that were offered sounded nice, really nice even. Oliver was almost sure that they were delicious. Just like he was quite sure that, despite the expensive prices, they were very small portions on giant plates.

He knew that this wasn’t the usual kind of restaurant he or Felicity would have chosen. It was an amazing location with good service and probably great food. It just wasn’t where they’d usually go to.

Oliver bit down on his tongue hard and shot another brief glance at Felicity.

When he had made the reservation, he had told himself again and again that this wasn’t a usual evening. This was so much more than anything they had ever had. Hence, it deserved something special. While he still believed that this way of thinking wasn’t exactly wrong, he now doubted that it would help to make this evening successful.

Clearing his throat, Oliver closed the menu card and put it on the table. Felicity perked up her eyebrows when she lifted her gaze to look at him. The expression in her eyes showed surprise and maybe even a little bit of shock.

“Did you choose already?”

Oliver smiled. “No.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows even more and cocked her head. “So you just hope for an intuition to tell you what to order?”

Oliver considered answering her question first. Instead, he just asked, “Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

_God, I would love to kiss her right now._

The thought crossed Oliver’s mind when Felicity was looking at him with wide eyes and slightly opened lips. His eyes stayed locked onto her lips for a long moment. It took a moment before he was able to take his eyes off her lips and look at the entirety of her face. She looked so honestly surprised that it made a warm feeling spread inside of him.

“It’s very nice here,” Oliver explained, “but I don’t think that this is really us. We have known each other for twenty years. We know who we are and we know where we feel comfortable. This is far out of our comfort zone.”

Felicity sucked her bottom lip into her mouth slightly and caught it between her front teeth. Turning her head back over her shoulder, she looked at the restaurant for a moment. When her eyes met his again, he could see that she agreed with him. She felt the same way as he did. The slight nod of her head only confirmed it.

“I wanted to invite you here because I didn’t want our first date to look cheap. I wanted to haul out the big guns so to speak.” Oliver sighed quietly, shaking his head about himself. “Do you want to go to Big Belly’s with me?”

There was no hesitation in Felicity. A relieved smile spread on her lips and she closed the menu card quickly.

“I’d love to,” she replied with a wide smile. “Let’s go.”

Oliver pulled out his wallet and dropped some notes to the table. He doubted that it was the usual way to pay here, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. They had already wasted enough time here as it was.

Getting up, Oliver stepped next to Felicity’s chair and held out his hand for her. She looked at him for several seconds before she lifted her gaze and locked eyes with him. An excited smile spread on her lips, and she finally put her hand into his.

Hand in hand, they left the restaurant. It was time for the second attempt at their first date.

 

* * *

 

“God, this is so good,” Felicity said with full mouth and took another bite from her burger that made her squint. “Thank god we got here.”

Oliver chuckled, watching Felicity devouring her burger. Instead of taking a bite from his own, he dipped some French Fries into the Sweet Chili Sauce and pushed them into his mouth. He never took his eyes off her, and he was sure that he was unable to even if he tried.

Since they had left that restaurant and decided to come here instead, they both seemed to feel so much more at ease. Felicity had slipped out of her high heels. She had pushed one leg under herself, sitting on her left foot, while her right foot rested in his lap. He had massaged it before their burgers had been served, knowing that the balls of her feet just had to hurt.

Oliver had taken off the jacket of his suit and the tie. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He had wanted to look nice for her, but he knew that she wouldn’t mind even if he was sitting here in his sweat pants and his green hoodie. She had seen him like this and had had dinner with him like that often enough.

They were both just feeling so much more comfortable here, and it was showing easily. Since they had stepped into Big Belly Burgers, their conversation hadn’t stopped for longer than a minute. Neither had the heavy tension returned.

“It’s always a pleasure watching you eat,” Oliver said with an honest smile.

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him playfully before she started grinning. She knew that he loved her appetite and the way she devoured a burger like it was the most delicious food on the planet.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Felicity asked him, glancing down at his yet untouched burger. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Oh, I am,” Oliver replied with a quiet chuckle, “but starving is still better than getting yelled at for eating my burger when you wanted to try it.”

“I never yelled at you for eating your burger.”

“Really?” Oliver perked up an eyebrow and cocked his head. “What about that night before your oral exam in Biology in your last year of high school? You called me out of bed around midnight, asking me to take you to BBB. We were here, in this corner actually, eating our burgers. When you were finished with yours, you looked at my plate and started yelling at me because I already ate my burger though you wanted to try it.”

Oliver remembered it still very clearly. He had been so surprised by her sudden outbreak of anger that all he had been able to do had been staring at her blankly.

“Well, I still didn’t yell at you. I might have talked with my loud voice, but that’s it,” Felicity replied, making Oliver’s grin widen even more. “By the way, I was allowed to speak with my loud voice. I was nervous.”

“Oh, I know,” Oliver replied, nodding slowly. “You burst out into tears after you had yelled at me.”

Felicity rolled her lips into her mouth and just looked at him without saying a word. Oliver could see that she was slightly embarrassed about it. When Felicity was stressed, she often reacted to things with either anger or tears. Sometimes, when she was really stressed, it was both. Especially the tears made her feel embarrassed later because she always tried to be strong and crying was not something, she necessarily considered to be something a strong woman would do.

Oliver took a sip of his coke and watched Felicity as she was turning back to the food. The little trip down memory lane was forgotten and her appetite was back to another peak. Luckily. It was just a pleasure to watch a woman devouring junk food like that. Most women he knew were limiting themselves to salad and other healthy and slimline food way too often for his liking.

“Do you remember that third night that we left together to come here?” Oliver asked and pushed another couple of French Fries into his mouth. “We kind of got stuck here because we were talking so much.”

“And my mom woke up and freaked out,” Felicity remembered nodding her head with a chuckle. “She called the police.”

“And then she called my parents to calm her down and tell her that everything was okay.”

“Who told her that you weren’t home either.” Felicity grinned, shaking her head. “They were so mad at us when we returned home.”

“Which is weird because they should have been celebrating.”

Felicity nodded her head firmly. “Absolutely. They always wanted us to be together and, even though we haven’t been together-together that night, at least we were spending time together alone. They could have pretended that we were spending the night at the riverside to make out like all the other kids.”

“Exactly,” Oliver agreed. “When Thea texted me that our parents found out, I thought I’d come home to my mom drinking a bottle of champagne in the middle of the night and planning a party to celebrate that we had finally gotten together.”

Felicity wiped her lips with the paper napkin and lifted her water to her lips. Looking at him, she took some sips before she folded her arms on the tabletop. The expression in her eyes turned serious.

“I hope you know that we can never tell our mothers about this or anything that might happen between us in the future.”

“They will start planning our wedding and the birth of our first child.”

There was something flickering in Felicity’s eyes. It was the first glance of nervousness since they had stepped into BBB. She swallowed down a lump in her throat and sucked in a deep breath. She tried to hide it from him, but Oliver could see it nonetheless. They knew each other too well for him not to notice.

He smiled soothingly, knowing that it was big step from their first date to their first child. They had barely gotten through this evening before. Talking about kids, even if just as shallowly as his mention right now, was a big step. Who knew if there was anything happening from here anyway?

The thought made Oliver’s heart skip a beat.

“Even worse,” Felicity said eventually, her voice slightly breathless. “They will never stop telling us that they told us so.”

Oliver chuckled. “I can already envision the scene when we tell them.”

“Oh yes.” Felicity took her burger and took a bite. “We are all together in the mansion, just like in our childhood.”

“Then we tell our parents and-“

“-of course they won’t believe us.”

Oliver couldn’t help but smile even more widely. He loved that, by now, he and Felicity knew each other well enough to finish each other’s sentences. They were just so used to being together and sharing all of their thoughts with each other that they had always gotten predictable to each other.

“They will stare at us and give us time to explain ourselves,” Felicity continued eventually. “They don’t dare to believe us because they think we are kidding.”

“And they don’t want to be disappointed when it all turns out to be a ruse.” Oliver nodded his head as he could see the scene playing out in front of his eyes clearly. “But in the end, they do believe us.”

“And they are screeching,” Felicity agreed. “So loud that our ears and our heads hurt and the windows probably shatter.”

Oliver chuckled. He couldn’t say that he had ever heard his mother screech like that. He actually envisioned her smiling at them brightly and wrapping her arms around them to hug them firmly. When it came to Donna, he didn’t doubt that there would be screeching though.

Some of the tension Oliver hadn’t even known that had been in his muscles, eased away. When Felicity could see them telling their parents about the thing between them as much as he could, that just had to be a good sign.

Felicity swallowed another bite of her burger before she frowned at Oliver. “Do you think your father told your mom what happened between us?”

“No,” Oliver replied without hesitation and shook his head. “My dad knows that we have to work it out ourselves before anyone else can know about it.”

Smiling softly, Felicity took in a deep breath and nodded to herself like she needed time to process his answer. Oliver gave her all the time she needed. He’d give her the entire night if that's what she needed.

“I am sorry for telling him about what happened between us by the way,” she said quite soon though. She cocked her head slightly and shot him a warm smile. “He asked me what was going on with me, and I kind of broke down in front of him. I couldn’t lie to him, and it actually felt good to talk to someone about what happened. Still, I am sorry that it was your dad I talked to. You should have been able to turn to him if you wanted to.”

Without thinking about it, Oliver leaned forward and grabbed Felicity’s hand. He laced his fingers through hers and squeezed her hand gently.

“It’s okay,” he told her. “I mean I was mad at you about it for like five seconds.”

Felicity smiled. “That’s quite long for us.”

“True.” Oliver chuckled. “But it doesn’t matter anyway. I am glad that you trusted in dad because I know he feels like he is as much your dad as he is mine.”

“Which would make us siblings.”

Oliver scrunched up his nose at Felicity’s words. “Gross.”

Felicity chuckled, pushing the rest of her burger into her mouth. “Right?”

He was still frowning when Felicity’s chuckling infected him eventually. He tuned into it and shook his head, pushing that thought far away from him. He and Felicity had lived like siblings for a couple of weeks, but that was all. They weren’t siblings by blood or by law or even by the way life had treated them. There was no reason for them to let that thought get in between what was building between them.

“What I was saying,” Oliver said eventually, shaking his head to shake off these thoughts, “is that I know my dad loves you very much. He isn’t your dad by blood, but he did his best to fill the void your dad left for you.”

“And he did it so well,” Felicity whispered, tears of affection welling in her eyes. “Nobody could have done it but him.”

Oliver squeezed her hand. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, but it was impossible to talk about the meaning his dad had for her life without bringing back some emotional memories and thoughts. Noah’s departure had left a void in Felicity’s life that had left lasting ramifications on her. It would have been even worse if she hadn’t found a new dad in Robert.

“It meant a lot to him that you trusted him.” Oliver nodded slowly, knowing it was true. “I might have been mad for five seconds, but I was so mad at everything, especially at myself, at that times that it really shouldn’t count. Since you became my best friend, I have always been happy to share everything I have with you. If you need or even just want a dad, I am happy to share mine with you.”

He squeezed her hand once more and wiped away that single tear that had fallen from her eyes. His thumb brushed over the soft skin under her eyes, and he could almost feel how his thumb was so calloused that it felt quite rough against her soft skin.

Felicity rested her hand and put it to the back of his. She held his hand to her cheek, snuggling her face into the touch of his hand. Closing her eyes, she stayed like that for a moment and took some deep breath until she had calmed down a little.

When she lowered her hand eventually, she was taking in a sniffling breath, but she was smiling through the tears that were still in her eyes. He didn’t need her to say it to know that she wanted to avoid that subject for the rest of the evening. He guessed that was enough of heavy heart-to-heart anyway.

“So,” Felicity said, her voice still a little hoarse from the tears, and looked at his burger with interest. “Is your offer to let me try still on the table?”

Oliver chuckled and handed her his plate. “Always.”

Smiling, Felicity rubbed her hands together and looked at the burger he had ordered. He had made sure that it was something she liked, so she could indeed steal it from him. She took the burger and lifted it to her mouth.

“Delicious,” she said with full mouth. “You don’t mind if I eat all of it, right?”

Oliver smiled, shaking his head. “Not at all.”

He watched her eating that burger with as much passion as she had ate her own, and he couldn’t help but fall even more in love with her. He just wished they could stay here forever, living in this moment of just being together without anyone or anything around them because this, them sitting here and eating burgers, just felt perfect.

 

* * *

 

Smiling softly, Oliver watched Felicity’s face. In the dark of the night with only the light from the streetlamps falling on the features of her face, she looked even more beautiful it seemed. Her eyes were directed at something in front of her, but she wasn’t really looking. The expression in her eyes was hazy like she was actually somewhere far away, probably at that one place that was responsible for the warm smile on her lips.

Oliver squeezed Felicity’s hand and angled his head to brush his lips against the crown of her head. Felicity’s smile widened and she leaned her head back to look at him. She tried to hide it, but Oliver could see how tired she really was.

“Tired?” Oliver stroked the knuckles of his fingers against her cheek, smiling at the way she blushed at his touch. “You look tired.”

“Maybe a little,” Felicity replied with a quiet sigh and snuggled her head back to his shoulder. His free hand grabbed his forearm and rubbed it up and down there. “These last couple of weeks have just been so exhausting.”

Oliver didn’t reply to that. He knew how exhausting have been for him too. Their night together had caused so many confusing emotions to run through them. Their internal disarray had been incredibly exhausting. He himself felt like he could sleep for a month.

“You’ll be home soon,” Oliver whispered into her hair and snuggled his cheek against the crown of her head. “Then you can sleep.”

They made the rest of the way in silence, enjoying their nightly walk through Felicity’s street. Although they had been tired when they had decided to head home, they had both agreed that they wanted to walk rather than calling a cab. Neither of them had been ready to say goodbye to each other just yet.

Although Oliver was tired and he knew Felicity was tired too, a quiet sigh fell from his lips when they arrived in front of Felicity’s door. He wished that he could have spent more time with Felicity. No matter how much time they had spent together in their lives already or even today, it just didn’t feel like it would ever be enough again.

“So,” Felicity said, ringing in the end of this date, “this was a nice night.”

Oliver smiled and stroked his thumb over the knuckles of her hands. “Yes, it was.”

This had probably been the nicest evening he had spent in a lot of time. Eating burgers at BBB and just chatting with Felicity was all that he had needed. It was familiar and still so fresh and doing him so much good that it was hard to put it into words.

There were so many things Oliver still needed to tell Felicity. There was so much he was feeling and thinking that she needed to hear. He just wasn’t sure how much of that he could tell her already. This was their first date after all.

“This was more than nice actually,” Oliver said eventually. “I get lucky with every minute that I get to spend with you in my life. You are always channeling the best sides of me and you allow me to feel like I can really be myself. It’s a feeling I don’t have with many other people.”

He knew that he could just stop here. He hadn’t said anything that should be new to Felicity. She knew how much she meant to him, and she knew the effects she had had on his life. As long as he was stopping here, it could all be referred to their friendship.

Oliver knew that it was the safest to stop here. If he stopped here, he didn’t have anything to lose. Even if Felicity told him that she enjoyed this evening but didn’t feel anything more, he’d be safe with it. He could just pretend that it was the same for him and keep her as his friend. It would be incredibly hard, but it might be easier than not having her in his life at all.

After all these years, he just didn’t want to be safe. He wanted to go all in and take all the risks there were because he knew that it was right.

“When we were in high school,” Oliver said, his voice hoarse from emotions, “I realized that I had a crush on you. My first instinct was to go all in and take a shot, but then you showed up with Cooper.”

Oliver shook his head, remembering how hurt he had been. Back in high school, he had been so used to having women fall for him that Felicity’s sudden interest in Cooper had almost shocked him. He had had no idea what to do with that, so he had just done nothing. It had felt like the safest option.

“I thought I was over that crush,” Oliver said eventually, frowning at his own words because those memories seemed so far away. “When you told my dad that you just considered the offer instead of taking it, I figured that you couldn’t possibly feel the same way for me. Hence, I decided that I had to move on. Getting engaged to McKenna seemed like the best way to do that.”

So many times, John had pointed out that he had proposed to McKenna right after Felicity had asked for time instead of taking the offer. Every time, Oliver had denied that there was any causal connection. Deep inside, he had always known that there had been a connection though. If Felicity had just taken the offer, he would have never proposed because there would have been that tiny part of himself that would have hoped that maybe she could finally feel the same way for him.

Oliver wished he could turn back time and go through the last years again. He wanted to detect the moment that she had fallen in love with him, so he could do everything differently than he had done it now.

Felicity was looking at him with eyes wide open. She was taking him in intensely, making sure that she didn’t miss anything that could possibly be seen on his face. Her hand was still safe in his, her fingers holding onto his hand firmly.

His heart was already beating rapidly, and his breath felt like it had trouble to get into his lungs or out of it. He had shared so much of his heart already, but he knew there was one final thing to say. Even though it could destroy the intimate atmosphere they had settled in, he needed to say it.

“Uhm.” Oliver cleared his throat and lowered his eyes for a moment until he had the courage to say what he knew he needed to say. “I remember that you once said that you could never be with someone who cheated once because you would always be afraid that he would cheat on you too.”

He could see Felicity sucking in a deep breath before she lowered her eyes, staring at her feet. She probably remembered that she had indeed said that to him once. If he was lucky, she was trying to make up reasons for why it was different with him.

Oliver figured it was best to give her a reason why she could still trust him.

“Usually, I would never cheat on anyone,” Oliver said, whispering the words. “I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I had sex with a lot of women, but I have never cheated on any of them, and I never planned on doing so now.”

Cheating was a big issue. Oliver had never cheated on any girlfriend before, and he had never been cheated on. Still, he was sure that being with someone who cheated on their last partner wasn’t easy. It caused trust issues because someone who had cheated once might to do it again and again and again.

Oliver knew that. He had heard his parents fight about it more than once.

Sucking in a deep breath, he gathered his courage to lock eyes with Felicity once more. He hadn’t even noticed that he lowered his eyes while they had been talking.

“There is no excuse for me cheating on McKenna, but I can guarantee you that I would never cheat on you,” Oliver said firmly. “My heart has just always been with you and only you.”

He let those words sink in, letting them fill his chest. As exaggerated those words might sound, he could feel their truth in his heart. His heart had always been hers.

“It’s crazy that I only really realized now how much I love you.”

The words spilled from Oliver’s lips before he even knew what he was saying. Only when Felicity’s eyes widened slightly, Oliver thought his words through. There was a moment of shock for him too when he realized what he had been saying. For a split second, he considered taking the words back or pretending that he had just said them out of the moment.

Telling someone you loved them was a big step in every relationship. He and Felicity had jumbled over the usual order of steps in a relationship, he guessed. They had known everything about the other years before going on their first date. It was only fair that their first declaration of love was said early.

Oliver’s heart was beating wildly while he was waiting for Felicity to say or do anything. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but no word came out of her throat. The only thing falling from her lips was a strangled throat.

When her gaze flickered to his lips, Oliver stepped towards Felicity. He was still holding on of her hand and laced his free fingers with her other hand now. His thumbs stroked over the back of her hands while he was moving close and closer to her.

Their lips were only a breath apart when he stopped. He looked into Felicity’s deep blue eyes that looked at him widely. It was intense to take her in from so close while he was feeling her breath ghosting over his face. He could almost hear the beat of her heart.

There was a long beat of silence that they enjoyed the intimate moment. Those seconds before their lips brushed together for a soft kiss always made everything inside Oliver tingle. With Felicity, it seemed to be a thousand times more intense though. With her, everything felt so much more intense.

Eventually, Felicity leaned in the rest of the way. Their lips touched in a soft kiss. The tingling that had built everywhere in Oliver’s body in the seconds before the touch seemed to be exploding now. Like fireworks, it spread into every cell of his body and caused him to feel utterly content and hyped with joy.

Oliver pulled Felicity’s bottom lip between both of his. He only opened his lips enough to make her lip fit between both of his. Then he sucked at it lightly, gathering her taste on his lips.

As much as Oliver wanted to deepen the kiss, he didn’t do so. This right here felt the perfect first kiss they should have had if things had been less screwed up. He wouldn’t screw it up now that he got a second chance.

When their lips parted, they still stayed close. Their noses brushed together for a moment before Oliver leaned back in. He pecked Felicity’s lips once more, just touching them with his gently for a brief moment.

A soft sigh fell from both of their lips as their foreheads came to rest together. Their hands were still holding on tightly, unwilling to let go of each other. After these last few weeks they had spent apart because of what had happened between them, they just needed to be as close as possible now.

Still, Oliver pulled back eventually. He smiled at the soft smile on Felicity’s lips and the glassy expression in her eyes. His hands squeezed hers gently.

“We will take this slow, okay?”

There was a not so quiet voice in his head, complaining that this was not what he wanted. Admittedly, the idea of taking things slow instead of ravishing Felicity already bothered him a little. He couldn’t deny that it felt a little like they had been waiting too long already.

After all, they had waited so long that a little more time wouldn’t hurt them now. He’s rather do it right than rush it and screw it up at the end. This was just too important to risk anything, especially ruining it.

“We will just take it slow, one day at a time,” Oliver repeated. “This is still new for us. We have been friends for so long. This will be something completely different. We will need our time to get used to it and to make it work. We need to settle into this new normal. It’s going to take some time and it’s not necessarily going to be easy, but we will make it. We have made it through so many steps in our lives. Even if we lost each other or lost ourselves from time to time, we always found our way back. I am sure it will be the same here.”

Felicity nodded slowly, looking at him closely. Oliver was feeling like she was holding her breath. He squeezed her hands, but it didn’t elicit any reaction from her.

“We will take our time,” Oliver just repeated once more, making sure that he wasn’t ambushing Felicity any more than he had already ambushed her with his early declaration of love. “We will not rush anything. We won’t forget that our… that all of this started before this first date, but we will not let that push us to do anything we aren’t ready for. Just like we won’t let the long history of our friendship push us past our comfort zones. We will take this one step at a time and one day at a time.”

Oliver’s brow furrowed slightly as he was taking in Felicity’s reaction. She was looking at him with wide eyes, her front teeth burrowed in her bottom lip slightly. She was holding her breath, but her heart was beating so loudly that Oliver could actually hear it. The force seemed to make Felicity shake with the intensity of it.

Unsure if he should say anything, Oliver just waited. Felicity had been conspicuously silent these last couple of minutes. That didn’t sound like Felicity at all. Usually, she was always talking. When she was happy, she was talking. When she was excited, she was talking. Even when she was nervous, she was talking.

The only two emotions that caused her to be silent were utter content and heartbrokenness. From the expression on her face, Oliver knew it couldn’t be the first, but it didn’t look quite like the latter either.

He was already taking in a breath to say her name and, with that, prompt her to say something, when a single sentence fell from Felicity’s lips.

“Oliver, I’m pregnant.”


	17. Jijivisha

_= The strong, eternal desire to live and continue living, usually used to talk about a person who loves life and has intense desire to live and thrive (Hindi)_

 

“Oliver, I’m pregnant.”

Since Felicity had found out about her pregnancy, she had tried to figure out what was the best way to tell Oliver about this. She had made up a thousand different scenarios, playing some ideas and different choices of wording through in her head. She had hoped that it would help her to ready herself for the time that she actually had to tell him.

When she had left her home tonight to meet Oliver at the restaurant for their first date, she had told herself that she would tell him. She had wanted to order dinner and use the time before the food was served to tell him about the pregnancy. She had been sure that she wouldn’t be able to stand through dinner and the rest of the evening, so she had wanted to tell him before the food was served and give them both a quick out if it had been needed.

She had still been playing through some choices of words in her mind when Oliver had suddenly suggested leaving the restaurant and heading to BBB. Though she had hesitated for a moment, she had agreed eventually. From the second she had done so, she had known that she wouldn’t tell him about the pregnancy in the next hours. In the back of her mind, she had known.

Now, while Felicity hadn’t been able to figure out the perfect or even a good way to tell Oliver until the very end, she had had much better ideas than this. Blurting the news out and ambushing him like that had never been her plan. It seemed that, like so often when it came to her and Oliver, life just wasn’t offering them perfect or even good. All it offered was flawed.

Holding her breath, Felicity watched Oliver. He was staring at her with blank eyes, completely shocked by what she had told him it seemed. She could feel his fingers twitch on her hand slightly like he wanted to rub them together like he usually did when he was nervous. Felicity wasn’t sure if it was the need of holding her hands or the inability to even show that nervous tick. Either way, his hands stayed where they were, and his fingers stopped moving again.

A thousand words were rushing through Felicity’s head. She felt breathless like she had just run a marathon. Her chest was heaving from the severity of her breathing. Blood was rushing in her ears as her heart was pumping it through her body all too quickly. The pain of her heart thrumming against her ribcage forcefully was making it hard to breathe and forcing her to pant even more at the same time it seemed.

As much as Felicity needed him to do or say anything, Oliver was still staring at her blankly without moving and without saying a single word. Everything inside of her was screaming for him to show any reaction – whether it was surprise or fear or anger or even resistance – but Oliver seemed to be still too much in shock.

Felicity honestly couldn’t hold it against him.

“I- I found out earlier this week,” she suddenly heard herself saying. She pulled her hands away from Oliver’s and pushed them into the pockets of her coat. “I was late on my period. I haven’t been late on my period often, but I guessed I was just late on my period because of all the stress. I mean stress can have an effect on the timing of a woman’s period, and it happened with my period a couple of times in my youth.”

The question how many times you could say the word _period_ on a first date before it got awkward crossed her mind. She had probably crossed it already, but her brain-to-mouth filter proved itself to be useless once more.

“My period might have been late for a week or a week and a half a couple of times in my life,” Felicity continued, a slight tremble of nervousness in her voice, “but I have never been this late. Eventually, I considered different reasons for being late on my period. I thought about this and that before I realized that I might be pregnant. I have taken a test that turned out positive. Then I have been to my doctor, and she confirmed it. I am almost six weeks along.”

There was a part of her that knew that this was the right moment to take a little break from talking. This would be the right time to give Oliver some time to process the details on what was going on. She could probably need a little break to sort out her thoughts before they would fall from her lips too.

In the two seconds she needed to take in another breath, Oliver still didn’t show any reaction. It just led her nervousness to increases a hundred times more. She almost wasn’t surprised when she suddenly found herself babbling even more.

“I really have no idea how this happened. I mean I don’t know how this happened despite the pill because I did take the pill. I took it regularly. I… don’t know if I forgot it in all the stress of the canceled wedding and this and that and I don’t know. I am usually very responsible with it. I just don’t know how this happened despite the pill. Otherwise, I would know. I mean I know how babies are made. Of course I know how babies are made, and I remember very thoroughly how this baby has been made.”

Heat rose to her face. Felicity was sure that she was blushing. Despite everything they had been through together and they knew each other so intimately, especially after that night of his bachelor’s party and the morning after, she was still blushing at the mentioning of having sex with him. It was weird because Felicity doubted that she had blushed a lot of times when she had been around him in her life.

For the first time since she had told him that secret that she had tried to protect so much these last days, she broke the eye contact. She lowered her gaze, looking down at their feet. They were still standing so close that the tips of their shoes almost touched. If Felicity turned her right foot just a little, it would cause the tip of her shoe to brush against the side of his.

Felicity could still feel his gaze on her skin, but she took the moment of not seeing the blank expression in Oliver’s eyes to open up her heart to the thoughts that had been on her mind before already. She had tried to avoid these thoughts so far, but it was different now. Right now, she was so vulnerable that she knew she couldn’t avoid those thoughts anymore, so she’d rather allow them into her head and into her heart right now that she wasn’t looking into Oliver’s eyes. She knew that he would be able to see right through her.

Growing up as the only child of a single mother, Felicity had always known that the last thing she would want in life was raising a child all on her own. She had seen it with her mother and she had seen it with Tatsu. Raising a child on your own meant giving up on everything you wanted in life like pursuing the career you had worked your ass of for years. It meant asking remote friends for help and for money even though it made you feel terribly ashamed.

As much as Felicity admired her mother and Tatsu for having this strength of doing whatever was best for their children, she had always felt that she wouldn’t be able to do the same thing. She had honestly doubted that she had that strength inside of her. Giving up everything she had worked for so hard for centuries because it was the best for her child without ending up resenting her child had always seemed impossible.

The moment she had known without doubt that she was pregnant, all of that had changed her. Knowing that she was going to have a baby had filled her with an indescribable love for the human being that was growing inside of her. She had known that there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to make sure that this baby was going to grow up safe. She’d protect this baby with her life if necessary.

Despite her unfathomable love for this baby, Felicity wasn’t sure if she could do this. Raising a baby demanded much more than giving up everything you wanted and needed to keep your child safe after all. The fear of raising her baby alone and failing at doing so was always with her. It had stopped her from falling asleep a lot of times these last nights, and it had distracted her from work as well as from reading or watching TV.

“I am no expecting anything of you by the way,” Felicity continued eventually, raising her eyes to look at Oliver again. “I am scared of this, and I am not sure if I can do this, especially not alone. It’s going to be so hard to do this all on my own, but I will do it if necessary. Having this baby is my decision though, and I am not going to ask anything from you. We are friends. I mean we just went on a date, but that’s not-“

With a movement that was much quicker than Felicity had expected it to be, Oliver lifted his hands and framed her face with them. His thumbs stroked over her cheekbones, and his eyes locked onto hers for half of a second. The next moment, his lips were already on hers.

All those scary, doubting thoughts faded from her mind for a moment. Right now and right here, there was just Oliver and her. The feeling of his soft lips on hers and his short stubble scratching the sensitive skin around her mouth made her feel as content as she possibly could be. All nervousness was pushed away. Instead, there was a fluttering feeling deep inside of her stomach. It reminded her of her night with Oliver instantly as she had felt the exact same way during that night.

When Oliver broke the kiss, angling his head in a way that caused his lips to lose touch with hers, a sigh fell from Felicity’s lips. It held content from the aftermath of the kiss and disappointment from the feeling of having lost the touch. Oliver’s forehead rested against Felicity’s, and his nose bumped against hers slightly with every intake of breath.

His lips brushed against hers one more time before Oliver leaned back enough, so she could look at him. His hands were still cupping her cheeks, holding her like she was the most precious thing he had in his life. She lifted her hands, holding onto his wrists. She could feel his pulse against the tips of her fingers, and she doubted that she had ever felt safer and more vulnerable at the same time.

“Felicity.”

He whispered her name. His voice was carrying so many emotions that it was hoarse from it. They made his eyes glance and his fingers tremble slightly against her skin.

“I think you might have missed the part where I told you that I love you,” Oliver said, looking at her with so much love that it made her stomach flutter in the best way possible, “so I am just going to tell you again.”

Felicity sniffled slightly, barely able to hold back the tears that were welling in her eyes. She had never met anyone who was looking at her the way Oliver was looking at her. Nobody had ever talked to her with such a soft voice was Oliver was talking to her. In everything he did and say, Felicity could sense that he really meant it. He held her precious, more precious than anything else.

“I love you, Felicity.” Oliver brushed a kiss against the corner of her lips. “I love you, and I swear that I will always be here for you and this- our baby. Even if we hadn’t just had our first date, there is always a risk that things between us might fall apart one day. It doesn’t matter though. Whether we make this between us work or not, I promise you that I will always be here for you and our baby though. No matter what will happen between us, I will never disappear from either of your lives. I will always be here for the both of you. I will be here for you, and I will be here for our baby.”

The moment her father had disappeared from her life, so many things had changed for Felicity. She had been taken away from the place she had called her home, from her friends and from the only life she had known until then. It had taken her some time before she had gotten used into settling this new life and trusting the people around her not to leave her like her father had just left her.

While her father’s departure might have turned out to be the best things that could have possibly happened to her, it had still had some lasting effects on her. All her life she had been afraid of letting herself fall because she hadn’t been sure that someone would catch her. She had been afraid of commitment because she hadn’t wanted to depend on anyone. She had been afraid of having a baby because she didn’t want her child to suffer through the same feelings of being abandoned as she had.

Only now that Oliver had said those words and all those feelings and fears came to the surface, Felicity realized how much she had needed Oliver to say that he wasn’t going to leave their baby no matter what. He knew her so well that he had just known how much she needed to be assured that her baby wasn’t being abandoned by her father.

Felicity wanted to thank him for reassuring her of that. The moment she tried to say a single word, a heart-wrenching sob fell from her lips. The tears she had tried so hard to hold back were streaming down her cheeks.

Oliver reacted immediately. He wrapped an arm around her body, pulling her as close towards him as possible. His other hand moved into her hair. Resting against the back of her head, he pushed her head to rest against his shoulder. She snuggled her cheek to his shoulder, hiding her face against the side of his neck.

Felicity could say that this was all because of the hormones. For the next seven and a half months, she could blame everything she did on the hormones she guessed. The truth was that it wasn’t the hormones causing her to cry though. It was the mess of feelings that were rushing through her, tangling with each other and leaving an unimaginable mess in her.

She was happy about this pregnancy. She was scared of what was to come. She was relief that she had finally told Oliver. She was insecure about whether she was going to make it. She was amazed by the magic of nature that allowed a human being to grow inside of her. She was upset about her father’s ability to be on her mind in a moment like this.

Those were a lot of feelings for one tiny person to feel at one moment. It confused her that she was even able to feel so many things at a time. It didn’t seem to make sense.

It took some time until one of the feelings finally won over the others, filling her more than every other feeling that was inside of her. It was the nervous anticipation of knowing that things were slowly falling into place now. She didn’t know what the future would hold for her, Oliver and the baby, but she knew it was going to be okay at the end. Everything was going to be okay.

Oliver just let her cry at his shoulder without saying a word. He wasn’t hushing her. He wasn’t telling her that everything was okay. He just held her, rubbing his hand up and down her back comfortingly and gave her the time she needed to calm down.

As much as Felicity told herself that everything was going to be okay at the end, she wasn’t able to get a grip on herself. The tears just continued streaming down her cheeks, and one sob after the other fell from her lips. She tried to pull herself together, but it just wouldn’t work.

“I don’t even know why I am crying,” she told Oliver, sobbing the words against his shoulder. “I just can’t stop.”

Oliver chuckled, swaying her from side to side slowly, and Felicity felt infected by his chuckles. She chimed into it. Although her chuckle was interrupted by sobs, she chuckled and it turned into a full laugh of joy.

It was the first time she was laughing with all of her heart since a long time it seemed. As okay and content and maybe even happy she had been these last years, she hadn’t laughed like this in a long time. She guessed the last time she had laughed like this had been back in high school when she and Oliver had been best friends and neither of them had been in any relationship, and the situation had deluded their hearts to believe that everything was still possible between them.

Felicity doubted that there were people whose relationship had started more messed up than theirs, she thought to herself. The thought only made her laugh more.

Leaning her head back, Felicity looked at Oliver through her tears. He looked happy, happier than she had seen him in a long time. He didn’t need to say it for her to know that he was feeling the same way she did. He hadn’t been this happy in a long time either.

When Felicity finally felt eyes drying, she took in a deep breath. She wanted to loosen her fingers from the lapel of Oliver’s suit where they had clawed. Before she got to move and wipe away the wetness her tears had left on her cheeks, Oliver’s fingers were already there. Smiling at her softly, he wiped his fingers over her skin and dried her cheeks from the tears that had fallen.

With a sigh, Felicity lifted her hand to Oliver’s. She rested it over his on her cheek and snuggled her face into his touch. She closed her eyes, smiling to herself softly as she recovered from the outburst of her emotions.

Oliver rested his forehead against hers, and Felicity could feel his breath ghosting over her face. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw that he had his eyes closed and was smiling to himself. He looked as content as she was feeling now. Despite the many questions there still were for their future, they were both feeling utterly content right now.

“I love you,” Oliver whispered eventually, making her heart skip a beat or two. “I love you so much.”

It was almost like now that the first I love you had been said, Oliver couldn’t stop telling her again and again that he loved her. Felicity admired him for that ability. As much as she tried to say those words too, the words felt like they were getting stuck in her throat.

She took in a deep breath, gathering her courage to say them, but no word came out. It was stupid because she was feeling the truth of those words in her chest. She could feel it with everything inside of her. Still, she wasn’t able to say the words.

“It’s okay,” Oliver whispered, angling his head back just enough to look at her. His thumb moved back and forth on her chest. “You don’t have to say anything yet. We have all the time in the world. You tell me when you are ready.”

All the time in the world. Felicity could almost see it in front of her eyes. The thought of all the time they would be able to spend together stole her breath and made her heart jump up into her throat. There was so much time to be together.

When Oliver started lowering his face slowly, Felicity pushed up onto the tip of her toes to meet him halfway. Their lips met in a soft kiss. Their lips brushed together slightly before they deepened the kiss. Their lips opened to one another, and their tongued met in a slow dance.

There was some slight hesitation. They were exploring what it felt like to kiss each other now that they were sober and all the cards about their feelings and the secrets that had been kept were on the table. Exploring was something that was almost new between them because for so long they had known everything there was to know about the other, everything a friend had to know.

Dating and having a child together would just open new ways to get to know each other and new things to explore about the other. It was something they would have to get used to in the next weeks of settling into this new situation.

Soon, the feeling of how right this was won over the unfamiliarity of kissing each other though. Every possible awkwardness was drowned out and silenced by how good it felt to be kissing each other again. Finally.

Felicity hummed into the kiss and the sound seemed to spur Oliver on. He scraped his front teeth over her bottom lip, adding the kind of sensation that made everything inside of Felicity want Oliver. She pressed herself close to him, chasing the taste of his tongue, and she could feel Oliver urging closer to her too.

Losing her balance slightly, Felicity stumbled back a step. Oliver’s strong arm around her waist stopped her from falling, but their lips broke apart nonetheless.

Even in the dark of the night Felicity could see that Oliver’s pupils were dilated and his iris had darkened. The need she felt in the pit of her stomach was shining through his eyes too. He wanted her as much as she wanted him right now. For weeks they had thought nothing could ever happen to them again. For two more weeks they had waited to finally get a shot at being together. Now that they were, Felicity knew that she didn’t want to and couldn’t wait any longer.

“Do you want to come inside?”

The right corner of Oliver’s lips twitched slightly before he nodded his head. “Yeah.”

Felicity smiled at Oliver for a moment. Lowering her eyes, she rummaged in her purse then until she found her keys. She couldn’t stop her hands from shaking slightly as she unlocked the door.

Of course she and Oliver had spent a night together before, but this was going to be different. There was no alcohol involved and there were no more excuses. It was the first time they would have sex with everything being clear between them. While that shouldn’t make her nervous, it did make her nervous nonetheless. It was a good kind of nervous though, a joyful anticipation.

Dropping her key into her purse, she let her purse fall down to the floor carelessly and let her coat follow. She turned around to Oliver, who was closing the door behind him quietly. She could see him taking in a deep breath like he needed to calm his nerves. Indeed, his fingers were twitching together. He really was nervous.

Felicity couldn’t help but think how sweet he was. Oliver _I-slept-with-every-girl-in-high-school_ Queen was nervous about being invited into her home.

Taking off the jacket of his suit and putting it to the coat rack, Oliver cleared his throat. He busied himself with his rolled-up sleeves for a bit to take some time. Only then he lifted his gaze and smiled at her.

“Should I brew some tea for us and… I don’t know… we watch a movie together?”

Felicity chuckled. If she had really believed that she was nervous, a new word had to be invented to describe what exactly Oliver was. Nervous wouldn’t describe it if it was used for what she was feeling too.

“That’s very sweet,” she told him,” But I have other plans.”

With two large steps, Felicity had crossed the distance to Oliver. Her hands cupped his cheeks as she straightened up onto the tip of her toes and stole a kiss from him. Her lips pressed to his as her tongue moved along the seam of his lips to make them open up to her. Her body almost melted against his when their tongues touched.

There was no doubt about what Felicity wanted and what she had planned to do for the rest of the night. It might be the usual way she planned a first date to go, but she didn’t care. She and Oliver had pushed their feelings away for so long that she didn’t waste any more times. Besides, they weren’t playing any games of power here. They knew what they were feeling for each other and they would have a baby connecting them, so playing hard to get or playing shy would just be stupid.

Oliver seemed to get to the same conclusion. Releasing a low sigh that Felicity swallowed eagerly, he bent his knees a little and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly. When he straightened back up, he lifted her off the floor. Her feet were dangling several inches over the floor, causing her feet to slip out of her shoes, and she put her arms around the back of his neck to hold onto him.

Felicity could feel every single one of Oliver’s muscles pressing against her body. His body felt incredibly soft despite the hard muscle tissue she was feeling beneath. Maybe it was just the fact that her body seemed to fit against his perfectly like they were two pieces of the same puzzle that had just found together.

The thought made Felicity hum against Oliver’s lips. The sound vibrated in her chest, and she was almost sure that it echoed in Oliver’s body too. He turned around and slowly headed towards the stairs.

While Oliver was taking them upstairs slowly, their lips stayed locked onto each other. Felicity couldn’t get enough of the taste Oliver’s lips and tongue. Although she and Oliver had just spend one night together and just kissed once before that, she felt like she was addicted to his taste already. She had been addicted to it from the first time on, but she had told herself that she couldn’t have it and lived without it for so long that she had almost sobered up. Now that she just got the slightest taste of him again, she felt the same undying hunger for it though.

Oliver’s hands were stroking up and down her back slowly. The warmth of his hand seeped through the fabric of her dress and warmed her skin like his kisses warmed her from the inside.

He had just reached the landing in the middle of the stairs when his fingers found the hidden zipper at the back of her dress. Oliver sat her down on the wooden floor and, after deepening their kiss for a brief moment, pulled back. Felicity was chasing his lips, but Oliver was keeping his lips out of reach.

Felicity couldn’t prevent a slightly grumpy sound to fall from her lips. She opened her eyes and saw Oliver biting back an amused chuckle. His eyes showed how much he wanted to go back to kissing her too though.

While Oliver was lowering the zipper, unzipping her dress ever so slowly, his eyes stayed locked on hers intensely. He was asking for permission without saying a word, and Felicity granted her permission gladly.

As soon as Oliver had reached the end of the zipper, Felicity slipped out of the fabric. When it pooled around her ankles, Felicity stepped out of it. She didn’t want to risk that she’d get caught and stumble when they’d continue their way to her bedroom.

All the time, her eyes stayed locked on Oliver’s though. She could see that he was fighting the urge to break the eye contact and lower his eyes to take her in. He did fight it and he did succeed over it though.

With their eyes still locked onto each other’s, they leaned in for another kiss. Their lips brushed together softly while their bodies were getting into contact. Hesitantly, Oliver wrapped his arms around her body. His hands rested against her shoulder blades and stroked up and down slowly. Goosebumps spread wherever he touched her.

Felicity took off his tie that was only hanging around his neck loosely and dropped it to the floor. When her fingers started unbuttoning his vest, Oliver lowered his hands down her back to her hips and started walking her backwards. He was careful to not make her stumble and fall, and his hands held onto her body with such firmness that she was sure he would keep her upright even if she stumbled after all.

Although Oliver had only been to her home twice, Felicity wasn’t surprised that he found the way blindly. He had probably played the night of his bachelor’s party through in his mind again and again like she had. Just like he had let the memory of their goodbye the morning after play in his mind again and again.

Just when they crossed the doorstep to her bedroom, Felicity pulled the hem of his shirt from the waistband of his pants and unbuttoned the last buttons. She tugged the shirt and the vest down his shoulders in one go. At the same time, Oliver unclasped her strapless bra and let it join his clothes on the floor.

When their bodies came together this time, their naked chests pressed together. Felicity moaned, a sound Oliver swallowed eagerly by kissing her. It only added to the intensity of sensations he was making her feel. His defined abs pressing against her chest and his heartbeat being felt against her ribcage added to it too.

Humming against his lips, Felicity let her hands move down Oliver’s back. She had no idea how he managed to feel so soft when his defined muscles were feeling so very firm. She guessed it was one of the miracles she had the rest of her life to understand.

With her fingertips moving over his skin, she lowered her fingers to the waistband of his pants. She moved her fingertips along the waistband of his pants slowly, from his back around his hips to his front. Her hands moved between their bodies, resting flat against his abs for a moment. Although she had always made fun of it, she had secretly admired his muscular body. She would certainly use every possibility given in the next weeks to explore those muscles with her eyes, her hands and other parts of her body.

The thought made her want Oliver all the more. She got even more sensitive for the heat that was spreading in her veins, caused by Oliver’s kisses that were growing increasingly passionate. Her center started prickling with the need to be touched and filled.

Her hands were determined when they unbuckled his belt and pants. Oliver wanted to move things along as much as she did it seemed because he was slipping out of his shoes and his socks while she was doing so. When his pants pooled around his ankles, he kicked them away.

Just like on their way upstairs, Oliver put his arms around her waist and lifted her from the floor. Without her tight fitting dress making it hard to move, she could easily wrap her legs around his hips and press herself towards him. He was already slightly hardened, and she could almost feel the blood rushing to his member when she pressed her center against him and rubbed herself.

Oliver groaned into her mouth, and Felicity deepened their kiss in response. Her fingers clawed into his hair and fingernails scratched over his scalp slightly.

Felicity still in his arms, Oliver turned around. He let himself fall backwards, and the brief moment of free fall made Felicity’s stomach tingle with excitement.

The moment that Oliver’s back hit the mattress, a loud crack was to be heard. The bed broke, and the slatted frame of the bed crushed to the floor. Although the mattress was still between them and the floor, it did almost nothing to cushion the fall.

There was a moment of shock. Oliver’s arms were wrapped around Felicity tightly, keeping her safe against him. She had known that she could let herself fall around him or, well, just fall against him. He would keep her safe.

Putting her hands to his shoulders, Felicity pushed herself a little more upright until she was almost sitting in Oliver’s lap. She looked at him, and found his eyes already on hers. Though the shock was still written in his eyes, they both started laughing at the same time.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you build this bed.”

Still laughing, she lowered herself and pecked Oliver’s lips. His hands stroked up and down her back and despite the change in atmosphere, it didn’t change the fact that his touch made goosebumps spread on her skin.

“You really shouldn’t have.”

Oliver chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist. With one quick movement, he lifted his head off the pillow to kiss her. His lips brushed against hers while he was turning them around, so her back was pressed into the mattress and his body was covering hers.

“I will buy you a new bed,” Oliver promised when he lifted his head slightly and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. “And I will hire an expert to put it together.”

“Good,” Felicity replied and smiled. “Because I am planning to use this bed quite thoroughly in the future.”

When Oliver perked up his eyebrows, Felicity grinned.

“I could take it back and say it was because I wanted to sleep, but I think I will just let it stay like it is.”

Oliver grinned. “Good.”

Their lips met in another kiss. It was slow and unhurried. Felicity’s hands stroked up and down Oliver’s back slowly, feeling every little inch of his muscles. Her hips were rubbing against his. She could feel the outline of his hardening cock against her center, and the heat that had been pooling in her stomach all along was increasing even more.

Knowing that she wouldn’t last long if she thought about how great his cock felt against her center for too long, Felicity tried to distract herself. All she could focus on other than his cock between her legs was the touch of her hands though. It really didn’t help focusing on it as his hands continued spreading heat and goosebumps all over her skin.

Oliver’s hands moved from the sides of her ribcage down to her hips and back up again. On their way up and down, they always stopped at her waist. His hands turned their, angling his fingers towards her front. His muscles tensed, and a little bit of hesitation was to be felt. There was a shift, only a slight one, but it was there.

It took Felicity a moment to realize that he wasn’t touching her stomach. He wanted to, but he was avoiding it.

For the umpteenth time in the last couple of days, it hit Felicity that she was having a baby. There was a little human being growing inside of her and in seven and a half months, it was going to be sleeping in her arms. She was going to be a mother.

She had had days to process the news. She had been able to take her time and let the knowledge that she was going to be a mother sink in. She had needed that time because the news had been more than shocking. It had taken her several days and multiple times of touching her still flat belly to make peace with that thought.

It had to be weird for Oliver. He was about to have sex with the mother of his first child, a woman he had known his entire life and only slept with once. Unlike Felicity, who had had these days to process, Oliver had only learned about this baby a couple of minutes ago. He had to process the news of becoming a father as well as he had to process the latest shift in their relationship. This all had to be incredibly confusing.

Felicity had already made the decision to take Oliver’s hand and lead it to her stomach, letting him feel where their baby was growing. Although there wasn’t really anything to be felt yet, she knew that it might help him.

Before Felicity could follow her plan, she got distracted though. Oliver’s hand slipped beneath the fabric of her panties and cupped her sex. A strangled moan escaped her lips. A moment later, she was already gasping for breath, her fingers clawing into the skin of his forearms.

When Oliver’s fingers moved, Felicity arched her back. The movement brought his fingertips close to the center of her pleasure, and the sensation made her gasp for breath.

Oliver’s lips took a path from the corner of her lips over her jaw down to the side of her neck. He sucked at her pulse point, letting his tongue stroke against it. Felicity would probably go crazy by the sensation of that alone. Still, Oliver’s fingers were adding to it.

Slowly, the tips of his fingers stroked back and forth along her slit. With his thumb resting against her clit, he pushed two of his fingers inside of her, making her moan. There was a part of her that wanted to bite back the sound of pleasure, but she felt Oliver humming against her skin in response to her moan, and she knew that he liked to hear it.

His fingers settled for a slow rhythm. They pushed in and out slowly, stroking against her inner walls as he did so. Her hips met the thrusts of his fingers. It was increasing her pleasure and making his fingers move even deeper inside of her wet channel.

Oliver found her g-spot easily. The moment his fingers rubbed against it for the first time, Felicity arched her back so much that it made his entire chest hurt. Still, it brought her hips closer to the touch of his fingers, making Oliver’s fingers press even more tightly against that sensitive spot inside of her.

“Felicity.”

He whispered her name with hoarse voice. Felicity couldn’t stop herself from snapping her eyes open, and lock her gaze with his as he was already watching her intently. He wanted to see her and see the expression in her eyes as the pleasure took her away with it.

Just like she knew he wanted, she looked right into his eyes as the pleasure washed through her. It drowned her like a high wave. It took her by surprise and just pulled her under. For a moment, she felt incredibly lost. She had no idea where she was or how to escape it. She was utterly lost, and yet she wasn’t scared. She knew that wherever this wave was going to take it, she couldn’t do anything against it anyway.

As the orgasm rushed through her veins, all Felicity could focus on was Oliver’s eyes. They were what kept her anchored to what was real. She and Oliver, they were real and what they had was real.

When the pleasure started to cease, Felicity loosened her hands from around Oliver’s forefingers. She put her hands to Oliver’s cheeks and pulled his face down towards her. Her lips captured his in a gentle kiss. She was trying to make that kiss carry the three words she hadn’t been able to say yet. She could just hope that Oliver understood.

Still kissing him, Felicity lowered her hands down Oliver’s back towards his butt. Her fingers played along the waistband of his boxer briefs like they had played along the waistband of his pants before. She took her time to tease the both of them like that before she let her fingers sneak beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs and cup the cheeks of his ass.

Felicity tugged at his underwear until it lowered down his hips. Oliver helped her to take it off of him completely. As soon as he had dropped it to the floor next to the bed, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. He lowered himself off Felicity for a moment, so he could pull the fabric down her legs completely.

Putting his hands to Felicity’s hips, Oliver turned them once more and sat up. She was sitting in his lap, his cock pressing against her folds. Felicity knew that she didn’t want to take any more time. She was too much on edge already to waste any more time with teasing.

Felicity got up on her knees and grabbed hold of Oliver’s cock. As soon as his member was placed at her entrance, she slid down on him ever so slowly. Her wet core that was still so sensitive from her first orgasm, so the feeling of having him stretch her and fill her made her feel a lot of things. It was all she had needed and all she had wanted for so long.

Once he was seated deep inside of her, Felicity stilled. She moved her hands from Oliver’s hips over his chest to his shoulders and held onto them tightly. Her fingertips were digging into his skin, and thighs pressed closer to his hips.

Their eyes were still locked onto each other’s. Felicity could see how much this meant to Oliver too. Just like her, she had imagined to feel him back inside of her again since their night together. Those daydreams and nightdreams had only increased after she and Oliver had agreed on going out on a date together.

With their eyes locked, assuring the emotional connection they needed, Felicity started moving. Her hips moved slowly, rocking against Oliver’s in a slow rhythm.

Using the leverage that she had on his shoulders, Felicity gave herself the balance she needed to wrap her legs around Oliver’s hips loosely. The new position made Oliver’s cock slide even deeper into her.

After that first orgasm that had hit her, Felicity was still so very sensitive. Just a couple of thrusts and she was almost feeling like she was back on the edge. She had never experienced something like that before.

As they rocked together, their bodies holding onto each other tightly, their eyes continued to stay locked. Felicity’s lips were burning with the need to kiss Oliver, she didn’t do so. The need to look into his eyes was just so much stronger than anything else.

Her skin felt like it was burning from his touch just like everything else inside of her was burning from the way he looked at her and the way his cock fit into her so perfectly. Everything about this moment just felt so incredibly intense.

For Oliver, it seemed to be the same way. She could see his increasing pleasure in his eyes, and she was sure that the expression was mirrored in her eyes too. She was so close to getting lost in her pleasure and to getting lost in Oliver again. She wasn’t scared of it though because she knew, no matter how lost in Oliver she’d get, she’d also found herself in him again.

It didn’t take long until it happened. Another wave of pleasure overtook her. A long moan fell from her lips as the tingling feeling spread through her body. Oliver’s iris was so dark now that the color almost matched the black of his pupils. His eyes stayed locked on hers intensely as his hips were snapping against hers now, seeking the release that was already rushing through her.

“Oliver.”

That was all it took. The moment she was whispering his name, Oliver let go of the last bit of self-control he had been holding onto. He came with a deep groan, the expression of his eyes so intense that it seemed to burn right under her skin and into her heart.

Her heart that had been his all along.

 

* * *

 

For the first time in weeks the smile that was on Oliver’s lips didn’t fade away the very moment he woke up. There was no reason for it to fade away because those feelings that would usually chase it away weren’t there today. The was no guilt about dreaming of a woman that was not his fiancée. There was no longing for a woman that was out of his reach for two unbearable weeks. His dreams and his reality weren’t that different from each other anymore.

At the thought of everything that had happened last night, the smile on Oliver’s lips spread even more. Joy filled every cell of his body.

He had told Felicity that he loved her. He had said those words after they had been on his tongue for weeks and in his heart for years. He had said them again and again. After he had said them the first time, he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He had had to tell her again and again and again how he felt for her. He knew better than anyone that she hadn’t heard those words enough in her life.

There was a slight stitch in his heart when he remembered the way Felicity had looked at him. It had just been for the break of a second, but utter surprise had been shining in her eyes. It hadn’t just come from the surprise that he was saying the words during their first date. It had come from that little corner of her heart where all the shattered pieces her father had left her with were gathered.

Oliver knew that he’d do the best he could do make sure all those shattered pieces found their way back to their rightful place again. One day, he would tell Felicity that he loved her and see no hesitation and no doubt there.

It would take its time, but they would get there someday. Oliver could feel it deep in his bones. He and Felicity would settle into their new normal. They would explore the feelings for each other. They would figure out how to make this work. They would find a way to raise their baby.

The thought made Oliver’s stomach tingle intensely.

He guessed he had been as shocked about this news as Felicity had been shocked to hear him say that he loved her. Even now, he was still in shock about this it seemed. Just a couple of days ago, Felicity had been a thousand lives away from him. Now she was going to be the mother of his first child.

It was going fast, too fast people might say. The truth was that he and Felicity had a lot of time to catch up on though. If they had been honest with each other from the very start instead of running away from their feelings, they would have been together for years. Maybe they’d even still be expecting their first child now.

The thought that he and Felicity were really having a baby now still scared Oliver beyond belief. He had no idea what it meant to be a dad. He had no idea if he’d make a good dad. With Felicity by his side, he would hopefully find out though.

Oliver reached out his hand. He wanted to wrap his arm around Felicity and pull her against his chest. Snuggling up to her and reassuring himself that all of this was really real was exactly what he would need before he could open his eyes.

When his hand touched the cold sheet, Oliver frowned and opened his eyes though. His gaze fell onto his flat hand that rested against the white sheet. Felicity wasn’t there and if it wasn’t for the broken bed and his sore muscles, he might have thought that it had all been a dream.

Lifting his gaze, Oliver found her. Though a soft smile spread on his lips, Oliver’s frown deepened at the same time.

Felicity was sitting in her reading nook at the windowsill. She had pulled her legs close to her chest, making herself small and saving the warmth of her body. Her fingers were wrapped around a steaming mug. Her naked legs woke the memory of how they had felt wrapped around his hips last night. The fact that she was wearing his shirt warmed his heart. It suited her even better than it suited him, he guessed.

It was the expression on her face that made him frown though. She was looking outside with dead eyes, looking without seeing anything Oliver guessed. The expression on her face was worried. It wasn’t detectable for people who didn’t know her as well as he knew her, but she definitely looked worried.

Pushing the blanket away, Oliver rolled out of what was left of Felicity’s bed. He grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor, making a mental note to find the most comfortable and most beautiful bed that was available. He would have it delivered here and let the guys from the furniture shop set it up.

Oliver stepped right behind Felicity. His arms wrapped around her shoulders loosely. His chest pressed to her back. With a content sigh, Felicity leaned back against him and rested her head against his shoulder. Oliver smiled and angled his head down for a moment, so he could brush his lips against the side of her neck.

She tasted as amazing as she had tasted last night. The scent of her perfume had faded away a little. What was left was the sweet scent that came from her skin, the scent of home.

Snuggling his cheek against hers, he glanced down at what was inside of her mug. He smiled sympathetically when he saw that she was indeed drinking tea. Felicity was a coffee-enthusiast with all of her heart.

Oliver took the mug from her hands and took a sip of the tea. He guessed he hated tea as much as Felicity did though that should actually be impossible.

“Tastes great,” he lied.

Felicity chuckled, shooting a look back over her shoulder at him. “It’s terrible.”

Oliver couldn’t really argue with that. The only time that he had drunken tea had been when he had been sick as a kid. Raisa had given it to him, insisting that it was the second best for him after her special chicken soup. After he had thrown up the tea into the bed, he had been spared from it though.

“It’s better for the baby though.”

“Our baby.”

Oliver whispered the words to himself, just to get used to the feeling of saying it. Calling it their baby just made it so much more real. He and Felicity were really having a baby, a baby that shared both of their DNA and mixed it to an extraordinary human being.

Felicity turned her head back over her shoulder and smiled at him. The expression in her eyes was soft and full of love. There was a glimpse of insecurity there as she laced her fingers through his and led them to her lower stomach. She placed it there, moving her own hand over the back of his for a moment before she was pulling her hand away.

Oliver felt his heart skip a beat. Last night, there had been a part of him that had wanted to rest his hand against her lower stomach. He knew that there wasn’t anything to be felt. Felicity’s stomach was still flat as it should be in the sixth week of pregnancy.

Still, resting his hand where he knew their baby was growing felt incredible. There was an energy there Oliver had never felt before. It was almost like he could feel the life growing just a couple of inches beneath the palm of his hand.

“Our baby.”

Felicity’s whispered voice pulled him back to the situation. He focused on the deep expression in her eyes and let that expression make him feel more at home than he had felt in a long time. He knew he could stay here like this forever, simply because Felicity was here with him.

When Oliver angled his head slightly, Felicity straightened up a little. Their lips brushed together in a gentle kiss. It held even more love than their kisses last night. It wasn’t a kiss of raw hunger for each other. It was a kiss that said that they were both feeling comfortable and content here.

Their lips broke apart soon, but their foreheads stayed in touch. Oliver enjoyed the closeness, enjoyed feeling her breath ghosting over his chin and having her nose brush against his with every intake of breath. He hadn’t known how much she had missed having him so close. Oliver spread his fingers against Felicity’s lower stomach and smiled when she rested her hand on top of his.

“You brushed your teeth,” Oliver whispered eventually. “It’s not fair.”

He pecked Felicity’s lips once more before pulling back. Smiling, he brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and watched her. In the light of the late morning, Felicity looked incredibly beautiful. The golden light shone through her hair and made her face look like a halo.

Slowly, the smile faded from Felicity’s face. The expression of worry returned. Oliver didn’t know if Felicity sensed it herself or if the frown that formed on his forehead was the reason for that. She avoided his gaze and looked back out of the window though.

Oliver angled his head slightly and rested his chin against her shoulder. His arm tightened around Felicity’s shoulders, while the fingers of his other hand spread against her lower stomach.

“Are you okay?”

There was a long moment of silence following his question. Felicity took her time to figure what she should reply. Oliver knew it was a good thing. Too often, he had heard Felicity claiming that she was alright when she was anything but. She had always tried to be strong, pretending nothing could hurt her even when she had felt terribly down.

Felicity’s fingers moved over the back of his hand almost a little nervously. She was fumbling to keep busy. It was the exact thing he did by rubbing his fingers together when he was nervous.

“All of this scares me,” Felicity whispered eventually, still avoiding his gaze. “I mean this thing between us is already scary enough. That we are having a baby is only making it even more frightening.”

Oliver could feel the truth of her words deep in his heart. He was feeling the exact same way she did. He was able to push past his fear because he was confident that he and Felicity could do anything as long as they were doing it together. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t scared though. He had a great reputation of messing things up, so there was a real chance that he would mess this up too. It would kill him if it did, but it might happen.

Felicity turned around to Oliver. She moved her legs to sit on the windowsill cross-legged and held both of his hands in her lap. Her fingers were wrapped around his hands tightly, anchoring herself to him. Oliver held her hands just as tightly, needing her to anchor him too.

“Being a mother is not something I have planned for myself. Ever.” Felicity took in a deep breath when tears started welling in her eyes. “The circumstances surrounding us are still so messy. We both just broke off our engagements. We are supposed to work together. Our mothers are best friends.”

Oliver nodded his head. With the way things were right now, they were in every part of each other’s life. He guessed that it could cause them to feel suffocated eventually. Even if they were able to deal with it, who knew how people around them would take this recent shift in their relationship?

“This will be difficult to handle already, but adding a baby into the mix, I-“

“Hey.”

Oliver lifted his hands and framed her face. His thumbs brushed over her cheekbones, causing a light blush to spread there. He smiled softly at the sight.

“I meant what I said yesterday,” he told her with firm voice though it was lowered to a whisper. “You would, without any doubt, be able to raise a baby all on your own. I know you better than most people do, and I know you could do it. You just don’t have to because I will be right there and do it with you.”

There was an expression in Felicity’s eyes that Oliver had never seen before. At least she had never looked at him like this. Maybe he had seen it once when she had been working on one of her binary codes to write some virus that had the power to save or destroy the world, depending on who was working at it.

“You really do love me, right?”

It wasn’t much of a question. It seemed more like Felicity was just now really processing his words. Only now she realized how true this really was, how real his feelings for her were.

Oliver’s smile widened, and he brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. When he pulled back, Felicity kept her eyes closed for a beat longer. Her tongue moved between the seam of her lips, tasting his lips on hers. The thought made Oliver’s stomach tingle.

“Our relationship started like a whirlwind,” Oliver said once Felicity’s eyes were locked with his again. “I know it looks a little messy, but it’s wonderful and I am as serious about this as a person can be. I will assure you of that every day that we are together until you will know it from the bottom of your heart.”

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity snuggled her face into Oliver’s hands. She moved her fingers around his wrists, holding his hands right in place. When Oliver moved his thumbs over her cheekbone once more, she closed her eyes with a sigh.

Smiling, Oliver just watched her.

There were so many things he still had to tell her, so many promises he wanted to make. He had never been the kind of person to make promises that he wasn’t sure that he could keep. With Felicity, it was different though. He knew making a promise to her would only assure that he would match his goal. His urge not to disappoint her and not to break his promise would only motivate him.

When Felicity opened her eyes, they locked with his immediately. She stayed quiet for a long moment, watching him as intensely as she was watching him.

“I love you.”

Oliver hadn’t known how much he had needed Felicity to say those words until now. He had been sure that just knowing she was feeling remotely the same he did was enough. The fact that everything inside of him was prickling and his heart was beating so quickly that it almost took his breath away proved him wrong though. He had needed this.

Tightening his hold on Felicity’s face, Oliver leaned in and stole a kiss from Felicity. It was a heated kiss, a kiss that held all the joy of their mutual feelings for each other. Felicity’s hands moved to his shoulders, giving her leverage to straighten up against him and press her chest to his while her legs wrapped around his hips loosely.

A groan escaped Oliver when Felicity’s sex rubbed against his still half-erect cock. His hand moved to the back of her knee, lifting her leg to wrap it even higher around his hip. Deepening the kiss, he leaned more against Felicity. His hip thrusted against her, and he could feel a tight knot forming in his stomach as his need increased and-

The loud growl that came from Felicity’s stomach made the both of them chuckle. Their lips stayed in touched despite that for a moment longer before they pulled apart.

“I guess it’s time for breakfast first,” Oliver said with a smile and tugged a strand of Felicity’s hair behind her ear. “If your fridge offers enough, I am going to make you a good breakfast.”

“Sounds nice,” Felicity said, nodding her head slowly, “but I doubt that there is anything in my fridge at all.”

“In that case, I will make a quick tour to the supermarket and get some supplies.”

“I doubt it’s worth the effort,” Felicity told him. “The baby does not like breakfast anyway.”

Oliver wasn’t sure if he was allowed to smile or chuckle about that. He could only guess how hard morning sickness had to be on her.

“I will hold back your hair if necessary,” he just assured her. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“That is actually very true.” Felicity nodded her head. “Let’s still hope that the baby might like something you cook.”

“Well, I will do my very best.”

Oliver brushed a lingering kiss to her lips, promising himself that he would cook until he had found something that wouldn’t make her throw up. Even if he had to cook all week.


	18. Neshama Sheli

_= A way to tell someone you really love that they are so important to you that they are actually part of your soul (Hebrew)_

 

Whistling the melody of the song he had listened to on the radio on his way here, Oliver locked the door of his car and headed towards the executive elevators. While the doors were closing behind him, Oliver glanced at his watch. He was still absolutely in time for the board meeting which might be the first time since he had taken up the position of Junior CEO alongside Felicity.

He knew how important this meeting today was though. There was still a lot to discuss about the last details of Robert passing over the company to Felicity and him. Their CCO had suggested that there should be a fancy party to celebrate this new area in the history of Queen Consolidated. The next generation was taking over.

Oliver couldn’t help but grin during the entire elevator ride up to the executive floor.

He had been with Felicity for two weeks now. They had spent every day and every night together. It had helped them to settled into their new normal. Getting used to being together had been a lot easier than they both had expected it to be though. They were feeling so comfortable around each other that it was just so easy to be together like that.

Although it had been going great, they still hadn’t told anyone about their relationship so far. After everything that had happened between Felicity and Carter as well as McKenna and him, they had decided that it was best to keep it for themselves for a while. They wanted the trouble around them to live down before they told anyone and became the top subject of rumors once more.

Besides, they didn’t want their families to know just yet. With their mother’s friendship in the line of fire if they missed it up, they had decided that it was better to keep this to themselves for a little longer. The more people knew, the more complicated it would be.

They spent the nights together at Felicity’s place. Her house just felt a lot more like a home than Oliver’s loft did. It was more personal, and it held the wonderful memory of their first night together. With the stabile box-spring bed he had gotten her, they had the perfect place to fall asleep after frenzy lovemaking that had almost become a daily bedtime ritual like parents singing a song for their baby.

Oliver guessed it was going to be their new bedtime ritual in a couple of months. They fact that they were having a baby still shocked him sometimes. He loved the thought and still it was so difficult to get used to it. When Oliver allowed himself to realize how lucky he was to not only have the woman of his dreams by his side but to have a baby with her too, he would never be able to come back with him. If this luck was taken from him, he wouldn’t survive. He knew that already.

Now, when they woke up in the morning, Felicity headed under the shower. In the meantime, Oliver prepared breakfast. Ginger blueberry pancakes were the only breakfast that didn’t cause her to throw up right now. They had breakfast together before Oliver headed under the shower.

Once they had both gotten ready for work, they kissed each other goodbye. Felicity drove to Queen Consolidated first. Oliver waited at least ten minutes before he followed her. That way, they always arrived separately, and they hopefully didn’t cause any suspicions.

Felicity just continued to joke about the fact that he was suspiciously in time for work since they were together. Oliver loved to be teased by her, so he had just brushed his lips against hers every time the subject had been addressed.

Working together at Queen Consolidated wasn’t exactly easy. Since his canceled engagement with McKenna, everyone was watching them. He guessed that people thought he had cheated on McKenna repeatedly with someone in the office. Gossip magazines were painting him to be a cheating playboy, who had left McKenna in front of the altar with the very reason of embarrassing her.

While Oliver would love to scream about his love for Felicity from the rooftops for everyone to hear, he knew right now wasn’t the time. They had to wait until things around them had calmed down.

That they couldn’t openly be together here at Queen Consolidated, at least they could be together after they had called it a day. They met at Felicity’s home and had dinner together. Sometimes, they watched a movie or they just climbed into bed immediately to make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Being with Felicity, no matter how much or how little time he got to spend with her, just made him happy. Even here at Queen Consolidated where they couldn’t be together openly, the thought of being with her made him happy. He had never looked more forward of returning home than he was now.

With a low _pling!_ , the doors of the elevators opened. Oliver took in a deep breath before he stepped out of the elevators and headed towards the conference room. Walking along the long glass front toward the door, Oliver took at everyone who had gathered around the conference table already.

Like so often, he was the last to join.

Oliver cleared his throat when he entered the room. A lot of gazes turned towards him, but the only pair of eyes that mattered to him was Felicity’s. Love shone through her eyes, wrapping around his heart and warming it. Their gazes stayed locked for three seconds before Felicity lowered her gaze to the tabletop. A deep blush spread on her cheeks, making him smile.

“There you are,” Robert said, glancing at his watch. “No minute too early.”

“And no minute too late,” Oliver added, sitting down in the free chair at the right side of his father and right opposite to Felicity. “I think you forgot about that part.”

Robert shook his head, slightly amused by Oliver’s point of view. He turned to Felicity, perking up his eyebrows then. She took a sip of her water and nodded her head, proving that she was ready to start the conference like it had always been. Even if any conference these past weeks would have been antedated for a week, Felicity would have been ready. She was always prepared, better than anyone else he guessed.

If Oliver had known that the conference would take long two and half hours and leave him with a terrible headache, he might have asked for more time to prepare. Before he had been able to even pour himself a mug of coffee, he was already deep into the planning of that celebration. A time phrase had to be set to decide when to give speeches, when to open the buffet and what people of the press to invite.

Oliver couldn’t deny that he hadn’t spent much time thinking about this celebration or the act of his father’s legacy being passed on. He had always divided his future in the time before his father retired and the time after it. The very moment of it, he hadn’t envisioned so far.

By the time everyone was piling up their stuff to head back to their offices and work on the new assignments they had just gotten, Oliver felt like his head was exploding. Taking over this company was just becoming real. With all the changes that had happened in his life, this shouldn’t frighten him, but it did. All his life, he had looked up at his father for leading the company and being responsible of all these people’s jobs. It wasn’t long until he would have to take on this responsibility though.

At least he could share it with Felicity.

Piling up his documents to go back to work, Oliver watched Felicity. She was piling up her own documents to get back to work. She seemed to sense his gaze though. When she lifted her gaze, her eyes locked onto his immediately. A smile ghosted over her face, but it didn’t last long. Taking in a deep breath, Felicity lowered her gaze back to her documents.

“Oliver, Felicity,” Robert said with soft voice, trying to sound casually though the tension was audible beneath it, “I’d like to talk about you for a moment please.”

Oliver’s gaze met Felicity’s briefly. Felicity, who had already gotten up to leave, hesitated briefly before she sat back down again. Her fingers fumbled nervously for a moment before she intervened her fingers and rested them on the top of her tablet. Her eyes were on Robert, the nervousness shining through the calm expression she was trying to maintain on her face.

When his father turned his head to look at him, Oliver leaned back in his chair and turned a little more towards his father. The longer he was staring at Felicity, the more suspicious his dad would be. Oliver doubted that he’d be able to look at her without all his love for her shining through the expression in his eyes.

Robert waited until the door was closed behind the last member of the board. He turned his head back over his shoulder briefly to make sure that they were really alone. When he turned back, he looked first at Felicity and then at Oliver for a long moment that felt like an eternity.

“I don’t like to ask this, but I feel like I have to,” he said with serious voice, looking back and forth between them once more. “How serious are you two with taking over the company?”

Oliver guessed he should have known that this kind of conversation was coming. These past weeks since Oliver had come back from Metropolis, Robert had only talked to him about what was going on between him and Felicity once. It had been the day that Oliver had returned to talk to his mother about why he and McKenna had decided to cancel the wedding.

Oliver had felt that his father had wanted to give him and Felicity the room they needed to find out how to deal with what had happened between them. Given that they were supposed to take over the company Robert had dedicated most of his life to, he couldn’t stay silent forever though.

Oliver’s eyes met Felicity’s briefly. He could see that she was thinking more or less the same thing he did. She had known this conversation was coming, but she was still a little surprised by it. Unlike Oliver, she hadn’t talked to Robert about anything relating their status of relationship since the night of the rehearsal when she had told Robert about their night together.

“I understand if you need more time,” Robert continued before either of them could find their voice to respond to him. “Leading a company like Queen Consolidated is a huge responsibility. You carry the responsibility for billions of dollars, inventions that can be as dangerous as world-saving and thousands of jobs. It’s not going to be an easy task.”

Since he had been a kid, his father had always made sure that he knew leading a company was not just being your own boss. Oliver had grown up in the very knowledge that he had to be extraordinary to be the right person to take over the company. His father would have never accepted anything less of the person who would take on his legacy.

“You two have been through some rough spots in your life lately.” Robert released a low sigh. “I guess that your friendship is crumbling might not be helping either. I don’t want you to make a decision that both of you will come to regret eventually.”

If he had understood his father correctly, he believed that he and Felicity had messed up during their date. Since they hadn’t shown any signs of being together and had actually avoided each other whenever they had been at Queen Consolidated these last weeks, he guessed the assumption wasn’t as far fetched for Robert. Having lived through these last two weeks with Felicity, the thought seemed utterly absurd though.

Oliver glanced at Felicity, trying to make eye contact with her. Felicity continued looking at Robert with a deep frown instead of locking eyes with him. She was almost holding her breath.

“Robert, what are you trying to say?” she asked with strangled voice.

Releasing another sigh, Oliver replied, “I was wondering if maybe we should delay all of this for a year. We announce the decision and give you two a couple of months to recover. You take this year to decide whether you two still want to take over the company together or if a clean cut and some distance will help you more.”

Although his father’s words were actually quite serious, Oliver had trouble to bite back an amused grin. As sure as he was that Robert’s suggestion came from the honest feeling that this was what they needed, Oliver didn’t doubt for a second that it was playing right into his father’s cards. For the past years, he had clawed his fingers more and more into the chair at the head of the board. Whenever someone had mentioned if he was about to pass on the company anytime soon, he had insisted that he wasn’t feeling old enough to retire. Oliver had no idea how his mother had actually convinced him at the end.

When Felicity turned her head towards Oliver, he could see the same amusement on her face. Felicity knew his dad as well as he did. He wasn’t surprised that she had come to the same conclusions about his father’s actions.

“Okay,” Robert said slowly when Oliver and Felicity just continued looking at each other. “I feel like I missed something here.”

Felicity sucked her bottom lip between her front teeth and cocked her head at Oliver slightly. Nodding his head, he agreed with her silent suggestion. If someone should know the truth about them first, it was Robert. If it hadn’t been for him, who knew if they were together now.

The smile Oliver had tried so hard to bite back so far, fought its way onto his lips now. He was sure that the love he felt for Felicity and their baby was visible in his eyes. Leaning forward, he reached out a hand for Felicity, and she put her fingers into his hand.

Oliver knew that he didn’t have to say the words for his father to know. The soft smile as he watched their enlaced fingers on the conference table was enough for Oliver to know that his father knew the truth already. Still, nothing could have stopped him from saying the words out loud now that he got the chance to.

“Felicity and I are together.”

The words filled Oliver with joy and pride. Being the woman that he loved made him incredibly happy. At the same time, being with someone as smart and as kind as Felicity just made him unbelievably proud. He doubted anyone could be as proud as he was.

Robert’s smile widened a little. He looked generously happy for them. It didn’t help to hide the glimpse of surprise that shone through though.

“These last two weeks you two barely spoke a word with each other when you were here.”

Oliver nodded. “We wanted to take our time to get used to the feeling of being together. Given our recently canceled engagements and all the rumors that are floating around since that happened, we decided to keep it a secret for now. The less people know, the better. At least for now.”

Robert perked up his eyebrows. “So, you don’t even want to tell your mothers about this?”

“Especially not them.” Oliver released a low chuckle of amusement, shaking his head. “If our mothers know, everyone else will know too in like no time. They will get on the phones and call everyone in their lives, from their friends to the mailman, to make sure that everyone knows about this. They will completely freak out, even before we tell them that-“

Oliver pressed his lips together, catching himself blurting out the one secret he and Felicity still had. After he had finally been able to talk to someone about his love for Felicity, talking about the baby had felt so incredibly natural.

Looking at Felicity, he found her eyes already on him. She pressed her lips together and rolled them into her mouth for a moment. When Oliver perked up his eyebrows slightly, asking what they should do without saying a word, she puckered her lips though. There was an almost pleading expression in her eyes, telling him that she had the same wish he had tried to suppress until now.

Slowly, Oliver nodded his head. A smile spread on Felicity’s lips. She turned her chair to face Robert, who was watching them with perked up eyebrows now.

“We are having a baby.”

If Robert hadn’t been surprised before, he definitely was surprised now. He looked at Felicity like he couldn’t believe what she had just told him. Only when he turned his gaze towards Oliver, who nodded slightly as if he needed to confirm Felicity’s statement, the news seemed to hit Robert.

“That’s amazing.”

Releasing a laughter of joy, he got up and pulled Felicity from her chair. She chuckled, letting Robert hug her tightly. He swayed her from side to side, moving his hand over her ponytail and telling her how happy he was for them.

Oliver just watched them, feeling warmth spreading in his chest. Not for the first time he was more than grateful that his father had taken Felicity in like she was his own child. He loved her the same way he loved Thea and him. He was exactly the kind of father Felicity had never had with her own father.

When Robert eventually let go of Felicity, he walked around the table towards Oliver and pulled him against his chest too.

“I am so proud of you,” he told him while he was still holding him tightly, and Oliver doubted that it had ever been more honest than in this moment. “You are going to be a great dad.”

Oliver couldn’t say why, but his father’s words touched him more than he had thought they would. His father had been a great dad. If he was going to be a great dad, it was because he had learned from his.

“Thank you, Dad,” Oliver said quietly. “I hope I will be.”

“I know you will,” Robert assured him once more and put a hand to his son’s shoulder when he pulled out of the hug. His eyes suddenly turned serious. “Don’t mess it up.”

There was no way that he would ever mess this up, Oliver thought to himself. If he messed up, he would crawl to Felicity on his knees to make her forgive him if that was what it took. He might mess up, but he would never mess _this_ up.

“He won’t,” Felicity assured Robert before Oliver found his voice again. “I am very confident in regards to that.”

With two large steps, Felicity approached Oliver and leaned into his side. Her arms wrapped around his torso, and her head came to lean against his shoulder. Oliver smiled, putting an arm around her body and snuggling his cheek to the top of her head.

It was weird that they had only been together for two months. Holding Felicity like this felt so familiar as if it had never been different.

Seeing the expression on his father’s face, Oliver had to bite back a chuckle. He guessed that getting used to seeing them together was a lot more difficult for him than it was for Felicity or Oliver. He was sure that his dad would get used to it rather sooner than later anyway.

Chuckling, Robert finally turned his gaze away. He looked at his feet and shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it. Lifting his eyes to look at them again, he chuckled once more.

“I am so happy you chose to trust me with both of these news,” he said with an amused smile, “not just because it proves that you trust me with a precious knowledge like that, but also because it means I can forever tease my wife with knowing about this before she did.”

Oliver chuckled, tightening his arm around Felicity. In thirty years, they would tease each other with things like that too. They would probably start with that a lot sooner actually.

“Now, is there anything I can do for you?” he asked with serious voice. “Do you need some time off? Do you need any tips? Anything?”

Felicity angled her head back to shoot Oliver a questioning look. Smiling, he brushed his lips against her forehead before he looked at his father again.

“I think what we really need is trying to settle into this new normality,” Oliver explained. “The sooner we get used to our new life together, the better.”

He shot Felicity, who was still looking at him, a glance. She smiled and nodded her head in agreement. She felt the same way he did. Of course she did. They were perfectly in tune with each other.

“Alright.” Robert nodded his head. “If there is anything you can do, you will tell me though. Right?”

“Right,” Oliver and Felicity replied in chorus.

Robert smiled at them for a moment longer. He almost looked like he wanted to spread his arms and pull the both of them into his arms once more. Instead of doing so, he released a sigh and gestured back over his shoulder.

“I will give you two some room.”

Arm in arm, Oliver and Felicity watched Robert leaving the conference room and walking past the long glass walls towards his office. He shot a look back over his shoulder, still smiling about the news, before he disappeared into his office.

With a low sigh, Oliver sat back down on his chair and pulled Felicity onto her lap. She looked around nervously for a moment, afraid that they could get caught. Only when she was sure that nobody was secretly watching them, she relaxed and leaned against him. Her arm wrapped around his shoulder, and her fingernails scratched over his scalp gently.

“I am happy Robert knows,” Felicity said with a smile. “It makes it more official.”

Oliver nodded his head, leaning it into the touch of her fingers. He smiled contently at her words and rested his hand on top of Felicity’s stomach. Felicity’s hand found his there instantly.

“So am I,” he agreed. “I am sorry for slipping the baby news though. I know we agreed on not telling anyone.”

“Still feels good to have Robert know.”

Again, Oliver nodded his head in agreement. It was exactly like Felicity had said it. Telling someone about it just made it more real. These last weeks he had felt like he was living a dream. It would probably take a little longer for him to really realize that he was living his wildest dream now.

While Felicity was watching the movements of her fingers through his hair, Oliver took in her face. The content smile on her lips couldn’t betray that she was happy. Still, he wondered if there was something more that she might want or need to be really happy.

“Can I ask you something?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows briefly before she narrowed her eyes at him. She pushed her finger against his chest.

“We are not having sex on the conference table or anywhere else in this building.”

Oliver chuckled, shaking his head. He might have indeed mentioned this little fantasy after they had spent their first day at work as secret couple. Felicity had turned down that idea immediately for all eternity. She would never have sex at her work place because it was incredibly unprofessional and a million other things she had rambled about until Oliver had shut her up with a firm kiss to her lips. He had been joking anyway. Mostly at least.

“I wasn’t thinking about that,” Oliver said and brushed a kiss against the edge of her jaw. “I was actually thinking about the offer Lena Luthor proposed to you when you were in Metropolis a couple of weeks ago.”

Felicity frowned, and Oliver got why. They had never talked about that offer again after that time in the tree house. In a lot of ways, that offer had just been part of their lives before they had found their way towards each other.

Now, Oliver wondered if that was really true though.

“What about that offer?” Felicity asked. “It feels like that has been a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah.” Smiling, Oliver stroked the knuckles of his hands over Felicity’s cheek and watched a deep blush spreading on her skin. “It’s just that talking to my father made things more real, like you said it too. I guess that made me realize that we are really building a life here, and I was wondering if maybe you have given up too much for that already.”

Felicity frowned. “What do you mean?”

Oliver leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He secretly wondered if he was making it harder for both of them by approaching this subject. If he pretended that everything was okay the way it was, neither of them had to think about the decisions they had already made and the decisions they could have made instead.

“I think that working for Lena Luthor might be a good thing for you.”

Felicity was taken aback by his statement. He could feel her body tensing and quickly rubbed his hand up and down her back. He smiled at her reassuringly, and it seemed to be everything Felicity needed. Though she was still frowning slightly, unsure where this conversation was going, she leaned back against him.

“I love you,” Oliver reassured her, knowing she needed to hear it, “and I want to be with you.”

Narrowing her eyes slightly, Felicity asked, “But?”

“No but,” Oliver assured her. “But- okay, there is a but, but it’s not the kind of but to erase what I have said before like most buts do. This but is supposed to stress how much I really meant everything said before the but and-“

“You’re rambling,” Felicity said softly and stroked her fingertips through his stubble. “I guess I have infected you.”

She had infected him in more than one way. She had affected him with her happiness and her positive perspective on life. She had affected him with her strong will to make Queen Consolidated a beacon of hope for people. She had affected him with a love that burned brighter than a shooting star in the dark of the night.

Obviously, Netflix movies had affected him with corny language.

“Back at our treehouse, you told me that you liked Lena’s offer because building something of your own felt like an even bigger accomplishment than taking over someone else’s legacy,” Oliver said softly. “If that is still the case, maybe you should take Lena’s offer and try it which leads me back to my ramble about that but. I love you, Felicity, and I want to be with you, but more than anything else, I really want you to be happy, and I know that using your skills for something good is part of what makes you happy. If Lena Luthor’s offer can give that to you, you should give it a try.”

Oliver almost couldn’t believe that he was actually saying this, knowing the consequences his words could have on both of their lives. It made his stomach tighten, but it also gave him a sense of peace. He guessed it was what love was about – offering a chance to someone you loved even though it meant that you might have to accept losing a little bit of what they had built in the last two weeks.

“And what exactly do you picture that would look like?” Felicity asked. “I am living in Metropolis, building Smoak Tech, while you are here to take Queen Consolidated to the next level? And we are raising our baby in the airplane on our way to visit each other as often as possible?”

As much as Oliver hated it, he didn’t have a solution for that. He wished he had one, but he didn’t. It was also impossible to make a compromise here because what could that possibly look like? They moved somewhere in the middle between Starling City and Metropolis, so they had the same distance towards their companies? Sounded like the worst compromise ever.

“We will find a way,” Oliver said firmly, locking his eyes with Felicity. “We have to find a way because if your reaction proves anything, it’s that you want this.”

If Felicity wouldn’t want this, she would have said it. Instead, she was just hinting at how impossible it seemed to make this work. Oliver didn’t hold it against her. If he hadn’t wanted an honest answer, he wouldn’t have asked in the first place.

With a sigh, Felicity got up from his lap and walked up and down in front of the glass front. Oliver stayed silent and just watched her. He knew that she needed a little time to process what exactly she thought about his suggestion that she should take Lena Luthor’s offer.

Five endlessly long minutes passed before Felicity put her hands onto her hips and turned around to him. She looked almost angry for a second. Soon, her facial expression softened though. She managed to even shoot him a soft smile.

“I don’t want to take Lena Luthor’s offer.”

Oliver frowned. He bit back all words that were already on his tongue. As much as he wanted to argue with Felicity on this, he knew better. Felicity was her own person, and she knew very well what she wanted and what not. He would give her the time she needed to vocalize her opinion before he asked her if she was sure.

“If had taken it, I would have done so to run away,” Felicity admitted. “I wanted to run away from my feelings for you and everything that reminded me of you, so running away from Starling City seemed like the first logical step.”

A sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips, making Oliver lower his gaze to his feet for a moment. They had been so close to missing each other and wasting even more time than they had wasted already.

“The truth is that I belong to Starling City though,” Felicity said. “When I came back here, it was the one thing I was absolutely sure of. Starling has always been and will always be my home. Here is where I found happiness back when I was a kid and now that I have returned too.”

Oliver nodded, his smile warming. Even though Felicity hadn’t said it, he just allowed himself to believe that he had helped a little to make Felicity find that happiness.

“Queen Consolidated might not carry my name, but it’s my family’s company,” she stated firmly. “Robert has been my family since the day my mom and I showed up on your doorstep all those years ago. I mean of course it’s your family’s company first and foremost and-“

“My family is your family,” Oliver interrupted her gently. “It always has been, and it always will be. In a lot of different ways.”

Smiling, Felicity rested her head against her lower stomach. She looked at her hand for a moment before she lifted her gaze to look at him once more.

“Lena’s offer was generous and appealing,” Felicity told him, “but Starling City is where I want to live and where I want our baby to live. No matter the professional chances, there is no place where I could be happier than I am in Starling City.”

Oliver gave Felicity time and room to add anything, but she stayed silent. She just looked at him with an expression of utter determination. It was all he needed to know that she was absolutely sure about this.”

Getting up from his chair, Oliver approached her. He framed his face with his hands and watched her for a long moment. When he leaned in for a kiss, Felicity closed her eyes with a low sigh. He caught the sound as it fell from her lips, swallowing it.

When their lips parted, Oliver opened his eyes and waited until Felicity opened hers too. He nodded his head then, releasing the most quiet of a sigh.

“If that is what you want, it’s what we do,” Oliver said firmly. “You just tell me when you changed your mind.”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you.”

Oliver pecked the tip of her nose and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He pulled her as close to him as possible. He pressed his nose against the top of her head and breathed in the sweet scent of her skin.

He couldn’t deny that he was relieved about her answer. If she had actually wanted to take Lena’s offer, they would have to do a long-distance relationship, and Oliver wasn’t sure if they had been very good at that. They had already had troubles with their long-distance friendship. They had maintained their friendship, but they had both been incredibly miserable.

With the way things were now, he could hold Felicity like this forever. It still wouldn’t be long enough, he thought to himself, but it was definitely a good start.

 

* * *

 

When Oliver put his warm hand onto her knee, Felicity frowned and lifted her gaze to look at him. Oliver was smiling softly despite the nervousness that was shining through his eyes. He tried to calm her down although he himself was anything but relaxed.

Only now that she put her hand onto Oliver’s on her knee, she realized that the tapping sound that had annoyed her so much these past minutes was gone. Given the way her leg was tingling with the need to move, Felicity guessed that she had tapped the tip of her foot against the floor so far, causing the noise that had annoyed her so much.

Holding Oliver’s hand between both of hers, Felicity released a long sigh. She leaned her head back against the cool wall and closed her eyes.

She really was incredibly nervous. Since she had woken up this morning, knowing this was the very day the doctor would show them their baby for the first time, she had been nervous. The closer the appointment had come through the day, the more nervous she had gotten.

Blinking through an eye, Felicity watched Oliver. As much as he tried to maintain the little bit of calm he had left, Felicity could see right through it. He was just as nervous she was. She could see it in the way his shoulders were tense and in the deep breaths he took, in through his nose and out through his mouth. It just didn’t help him calming down.

They were both incredibly nervous about their first appointment with the ob-gyn. Even though Felicity doubted that there was a lot to see on the ultrasound. She was almost ten weeks along now, so the baby was the size of an olive maybe.

Felicity guessed it was only natural for parents-to-be to see things a lot more rationally.

When Felicity had been here to have her doctor confirm the pregnancy, she had been going crazy. If it hadn’t been for her nervousness, she wouldn’t have had an appointment in the first place as the doctor had advised her to wait another two weeks. Since that would have felt like torture, especially with the date right around the corner, Felicity had made an appointment anyway.

Compared to that day, she was almost Zen now.

When Oliver leaned his head back with a sigh, mimicking Felicity’s body posture, she turned her head and smiled at him. The smile infected him, spreading on his lips too.

“We can tell people about the baby soon,” Oliver whispered. “It’s going to be exciting to stop hiding us and our little secret.”

Felicity nodded slowly. They had been together for four weeks now, and it was going even greater than Felicity had expected. They had been friends for so long already that there were just no boundaries. They could always tell each other what they were thinking though they didn’t have to a lot of times because they knew what they were thinking just from looking at the other. It was just so easy to be together. They were still best friends, just that they were lovers now too.

There really was no reason for them to hide anymore. With how eager they were to spend as much time together as possible, even when they were at Queen Consolidated, it would probably be easier. They wouldn’t feel the need to find excuses for spending so much time together.

If there was one reason for them to still keep quiet about their relationship, it was their mothers. Since Oliver’s canceled wedding, they had stopped to push about them being together. Apparently, they wanted to spare them after the trouble they had gone through lately. Felicity was sure that they would turn quite annoying once they found out that their children were actually dating and having a baby. She wasn’t sure how they could possibly top their annoying pushing during her and Oliver’s youth, but they would probably find a way.

“Let’s just wait two or three weeks more,” Felicity whispered. “When the first trimester is over, we can tell people.”

“So maybe on Christmas?”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Maybe on Christmas.”

The Queens had always invited Donna and Felicity to spend Christmas Day with them, just like Donna had always invited them to spend one night of Hanukah with them. This year wouldn’t be any different. Donna had already called and told Felicity that the Queens were coming over the last night of Hanukah on December 30, so Felicity and Oliver would come there too. If their mothers knew about their relationship by then, they could even go together and didn’t have to pretend that they were coming separately.

“Felicity.” Oliver cleared his throat. “I think I have to tell you something.”

Frowning, Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver. He actually looked a little guilty though he couldn’t hide a glimpse of amusement that was shining through beneath that.

“I told John about us and the baby,” Oliver admitted, and now the smile just broke through every other expression on his face. “I couldn’t keep quiet about it any longer.”

Felicity couldn’t help but smile. “I told Tatsu too.”

Oliver chuckled, lifted Felicity’s hands to his lips and kissed them. Felicity guessed it was a good thing that they were so wonderfully alike. So far, it had kept them away from any fight.

After their confessions, it wasn’t long that they were asked into the doctor’s room. They sat down in their chairs in front of the desk, still holding their hands. While they were waiting for the doctor to come in, they shot each other excited smiles.

When the door opened, Oliver and Felicity both turned their heads back to look towards the door. Dr. Yap, a tall woman with long legs and flat chest, stepped in. She was reading in the file like she had done during the first two appointments Felicity had had with the doctor here for a check-up a couple of months ago and the appointment to confirm the pregnancy the week before her first date with Oliver.

“Ms. Smoak,” Dr. Yap said eventually and lifted her gaze. “And…?”

“Oliver Queen.” Oliver almost jumped out of his chair and held out his hand. “I am Felicity’s boyfriend and the baby’s father.”

Felicity bit back an amused smile about how excited and proud Oliver was to say this. His smile was taking over his entire face. He almost looked like he was on drugs.

“It’s nice to get to know you,” Dr. Yap replied, shaking his hand, before she turned to Felicity. “How are you doing, Felicity?”

“I am fine,” Felicity replied. “The morning sickness is quite annoying, but Oliver is trying his best to find food that I actually keep to myself.”

“Successfully?”

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no.” Felicity chuckled and squeezed Oliver’s hand. “But that is okay. I am spoilt with food now.”

“I am doing the best I can,” Oliver replied and kissed the back of her hand. “Anything for you.”

Dr. Yap smiled briefly, taking some notes in Felicity’s file. She asked another few questions, making sure Felicity was healthy and there were no abnormalities. From the polite smile on her lips, Felicity guessed that there was nothing to be nervous about. Dr. Yap at least seemed to be content with Felicity’s answers.

When Felicity was eventually asked to lie down on the med table, she felt her heart jumping into her throat. She couldn’t say when she had been this excited the last time.

Dr. Yap applied some of the gel to Felicity’s lower stomach. Felicity reached her hand out for Oliver at the meantime, shooing him a last smile. The moment she saw Dr. Yap grabbing the head of the ultrasound, Felicity quickly turned her head to look at the monitor. With held breath, she waited to see her baby.

It took the doctor maybe five seconds before she found it. The quick throbbing of their baby’s heartbeat filled the room, and Felicity felt her heart trying to catch up with the rhythm. The shadows on the monitor probably looked like a meaningless muster for most other people, but Felicity was almost sure that she could see the outline of her baby clearly. She could definitely see the head, and maybe she could even see the tiny hands and feet of that little human being growing inside of her.

All the love she had felt for her baby from the moment she had known about his or her existence seemed to multiply even more. It filled every cell of her body and made everything inside of her tingle.

Felicity needed a long time before she was able to turn her head away from the monitor to look at Oliver. His eyes were still focused on the screen. His pupils were dilated just like they were when he was looking at her. His love for her and the little family they were creating was written all over his face. There was an intensity in the expression of his eyes that would scare Felicity if she didn’t feel it just as much.

Eventually, Oliver was able to turn his gaze away from the monitor and lock eyes with Felicity.

“We are having a baby,” he whispered the words like he could only believe them now.

Unlike him, Felicity wasn’t able to speak. She had a tight lump in her throat that made it impossible. She just nodded her head, feeling tears of joy welling in his eyes.

Oliver captured her lips in a long kiss, pouring all his love for her into it. Felicity was almost sure that he’d take even better care of her now. She would be the most spoilt person until that little human being had made its way into the world. After that, she guessed she was going to be the second most spoilt person, but that was okay.

 

* * *

 

With the hem of Oliver’s hoodie lifted to her breast, Felicity turned in front of the mirror. No matter the angle of her reflection, there was just no baby bump visible yet. She wasn’t sure if that pleased or disappointed her.

Sighing, Felicity pulled the hem of the hoodie back down and slipped into a pair of her sweatpants. The more comfortable and warmer she felt, the better. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, she put on the pair of thick socks Raisa had knitted for her and sent her to Central City last Hanukah.

Next Hanukah, she might knit a pair of socks for the baby.

The thought made Felicity smile despite the thousands of questions flashing through her head. Since she and Oliver had left the doctor’s office two hours ago, a thousand thoughts had been on her mind. Seeing her baby for the first time and hearing its heartbeat had just raised so many thoughts and questions.

Was their baby going to be Jewish or Christian? How would their handle the religious education of their child given that they didn’t share the same religion?

Did they want a boy or a girl? Would that affect the way they would raise this baby?

What name did they want to give to their baby? Were they going with Smoak? Or Queen? Or a double name like Smoak-Queen or Queen-Smoak?

How would they educate this child? After all, Oliver and Felicity had grown up in completely different families that probably cherished completely different values. What values did they want to convey? What was really important to them when it came to raising a child?

There were a thousand different things she and Oliver still had to discuss, and it made her incredibly nervous. So far, their relationship had been going so incredibly easy. They had always shared an opinion on the important things, and hadn’t been interested in the details that they had disagreed on. Different opinions on parenting probably were quite the issue on a young couple that was about to become parents soon though.

Felicity closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. She recalled the memory of the expression in Oliver’s eyes whenever he looked at her. It was all she needed to know that, no matter what happened, they would work through it eventually.

Putting her hand onto her lower stomach and rubbing it slightly, Felicity got up and walked downstairs. She followed the delicious smell of food that came from the kitchen and smiled when she saw Oliver standing at the oven, searing some vegetables.

“My oven will start to think that it’s actually of use if you continue like that,” Felicity said with a smile. “Smells delicious.”

Felicity stepped behind Oliver. She wrapped her arms around his torso from behind and snuggled the side of her face against his back. Her nose pressed against his shoulder blade and she breathed him in with closed eyes. Just the scent of his skin made her feel at home.

“I thought some stir fry vegetables was exactly what you need.”

“I think that’s about right,” Felicity agreed. She kissed Oliver’s shoulder blade through his shirt before she let go of him and sat down at the kitchen island. “Sometimes, I still cannot believe that you know how to cook.”

“I do have a lot of hidden talents,” Oliver replied, winking at her back over his shoulder. “For example, I make a really great lemonade.”

He went over to the fridge and grabbed a carafe with a delicious looking drink. He poured a glass of it and placed it right in front of her. Intensely, he watched her and waited for her reaction. Felicity lifted the glass to her nose, figuring that it was a peach lemonade, before she took a sip of it.

“Wow,” she said. “That’s delicious.”

Oliver smiled proudly. “Glad to hear that.”

When the sizzling the pan got louder, he quickly turned back to the stove and stirred in it. Felicity watched him, propping up her head on her hand and taking another few sips of the lemonade.

This moment right here, as average and almost boring it looked, just felt really great to her. Having Oliver taking such good care of her and spoiling her with these little things like food and homemade lemonade felt more honest than other declarations of love had felt to her. Felicity enjoyed it more than she’d enjoy any great gestures like a sea of flowers or God knows what else.

Being with Oliver was not about great gestures. It was about spending their everyday life together, and that was why she was so sure that things between them would last. Couples that spent the first weeks of being together with those great gestures were wasting the time to really get to know each other.

Everyone could be together as long as those great gestures were there. That just wasn’t the real life, and the sooner you experienced the real life the better.

“This is really great,” she suddenly said out loud, her voice soft and low. “I can see us being here in a year or two. You cook for me. I am watching you, drinking a good glass of wine. Low music is playing in the background. Our baby is sitting on the floor, playing with its toys and making these sweet babble noises.”

Oliver turned around and leaned back against the kitchen counter. A soft smile was spreading on his lips. The expression in his eyes was almost a little unfocused as if he could see the scene playing out in front of his eyes.

“It will be our daily routine to be in the kitchen together before dinner. After dinner, we will put our baby to bed, reading him or her a bedtime story, before we do the dishes and maybe spend an hour outside in the garden with another glass of wine. Then we will go to bed, snuggle up to each other and fall asleep, listening to our baby’s breathing over the monitor.”

Felicity smiled, and she could see the scene too. She could barely grasp the idea of having a baby, no matter how much she loved this little human being already or how real having a baby had felt during the ultrasound earlier today. Being here with Oliver and enjoying a perfectly comfortable moment of their everyday life, she could really picture them being a family with a baby though.

Oliver just made it incredibly easy. She had always known that he would forever be a part of her life. Only now she was really sure what place exactly he would have there though. It felt right like it should be exactly like that and no other way.

When the daydream let go of Felicity, she regained awareness of her surroundings or Oliver at least. He was looking, almost staring at her. His eyes were narrowed slightly like he was thinking intensely about something. It made Felicity chuckle.

“Let’s just say those were the hormones speaking out of me,” she said lightly and took another sip of the lemonade. “You cannot hold it against me.”

Felicity doubted that Oliver would hold this or anything against her. She had said much more embarrassing things towards him. He might have teased her with it, but he had never held it against her.

Saying something embarrassing to your best friend was different from saying something embarrassing to your boyfriend. Since Oliver was both at the same time, Felicity just hoped that it wouldn’t make a difference.

Oliver just continued staring at her, making Felicity cock her head and frown at him eventually. When it still didn’t get her any reaction, she chuckled.

“Earth to Oliver,” she said in a singsong. “What are you thinking about?”

Oliver’s face stayed unmoving. Only the intake of breath and the way his chest rose with it told her that he had heard her.

The ongoing silence unsettled Felicity a little. Compared to her, Oliver was anything but talkative. She had never seen him like this, just looking at her so intensely without saying a word though. It made goosebumps spread on her back and a nervous tingling start in her fingertips.

Felicity couldn’t say what exactly she was nervous about though. She trusted Oliver and his feelings for her enough to know that he wasn’t going to run away scared because she had mentioned the scenario of them being together with their baby in a year or two.

“I am thinking about what my dad once said,” Oliver said eventually, “that, if you love someone and want to spend your life with them, you shouldn’t wait. You shouldn’t even wait to plan a big move. You should just grab them, go to Vegas and get married there.”

Felicity chuckled. “He did tell me the same thing, a couple of times actually. It was-“

She fell silent when she noticed that the intense expression was back in his eyes as he was just watching her. All words she could have said died in her throat, even more so as Oliver vocalized a suggestion that made even her breath get caught in her throat.

“Let’s go to Vegas.”


	19. Resfeber

_= The restlessness in a traveler just before the journey is about to begin or the beginning of the trip that includes anxiety and anticipation together (Swedish)_

Oliver couldn’t deny that it was a great pleasure to watch Felicity Megan Smoak, the girl that was always so quick to process all piece of new information that was offered to her, struggling to understand what had just happened. Her struggle showed in her face, causing the expression on it to change again and again. Within two minutes, five expressions flashed over had face.

At first, Felicity was staring at him. Her eyes were widened slightly, and her mouth left open. She was frozen in place, unable to move. If Oliver wasn’t mistaken, she was even holding her breath. She looked like a deer that had just sensed the hunter.

Disbelief supplanted the shock soon though. She was chuckles soundlessly, shaking her head. Apparently, she found the idea that he might have actually proposed to her rather amusing.

As her eyes found his again, she faltered. Taking Oliver’s unmoving face in thoroughly, she frowned. Her gaze on his face was intense, trying to find out what all of this meant. Oliver’s skin almost tingled under the intensity of her eyes.

Not yet ready to accept that Oliver’s proposal might have been serious, she released another chuckle and shook her head once more. She rubbed her hands over her face and continued shaking her head again and again.

Only when she lowered her hands and realized that he was not grinning in amusement like she had probably expected him to, the chuckle died in her throat. She went back to looking at him with blank eyes, staring at him like a deer staring into the barrel of the rifle. Her mouth fell open slightly.

Oliver had trouble hiding his amusement, but he bit down on the inside of his cheek and told himself to just keep quiet. Felicity needed time, so he would give her all the time she needed. He wouldn’t push, and he wouldn’t make her feel bad for needing time to process the question he had just popped out of the blue.

Her reaction actually made his heart clench in his chest a little bit. He knew her disbelief wasn’t just a sign of how new their relationship was. It was also a sign of how unfamiliar she was with the feeling that a man wanted to be and stay in her life forever. Her father had taken that belief in good away from her when he had left, leaving her and Donna with nothing.

After all those years, Oliver still hated Felicity’s father for what he had done to her. He hadn’t known her father, but he hated him from the depths of his heart. Although that man had been the cause for Felicity moving to Starling City all those years ago which he was very grateful for of course, he couldn’t be grateful to a man that had destroyed Felicity’s childhood.

It had been years since her father had left her, and yet the ramifications were still showing on Felicity. Not even his father, who had always treated Felicity like his own child, had been able to put Felicity’s heart back together. He had helped her heal, but the scars were still there, and they were still so very raw that they threatened to rip back open whenever there was another setback.

Oliver knew that that he would spend the rest of his life making sure Felicity knew that he was in no way like her father. He would love her and be there for her everyday for the rest of their lives. Most importantly, he would make sure to be the best daddy for their baby as Felicity had already predicted. No matter what would happen between him and Felicity, he would always be there for her and their baby. He was never going to leave either of them.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice leaving no room of missing that she really didn’t believe what had just happened. “What did you just say?”

A couple of strands had fallen into Felicity’s face. Oliver brushed them back behind her ear. The tips of his fingers brushed over her cheekbones before he pulled his hands back. His touch left a soft blush on her pale skin, making him smile.

“Felicity,” he said her name, enjoying the way it rolled over his tongue so easily, “I love you, and I want to marry you. Let’s go to Las Vegas.”

Felicity nodded slightly like she was finally able to process his proposal. She puckered her lips slightly almost like she was considering her answer already.

“Okay, I never thought I would say this,” she said eventually, frowning at him once more as she narrowed her eyes at him, “but huh?”

Now, Oliver couldn’t hide a chuckle. He left his place at the stove and strolled over to Felicity. Putting his hands to her hips, he turned her around on her bar stool until they were face to face. With a soft smile, he brushed his lips against hers. Felicity sighed against his lips, and Oliver enjoyed the feeling more than he could say with words.

When Oliver pulled back and opened his eyes, he found Felicity’s eyes already on hers. Disbelief was still showing in her eyes, and Oliver couldn’t help but feel that it was kind of sad. Nobody should be this surprised or disbelieving about the fact that someone wanted to marry them.

“I, Oliver Queen,” he said slowly, a warm smile spreading on his lips as he said the words once more now, “ask you, Felicity Smoak, to go to Las Vegas with me and elope.”

Again, Felicity nodded slowly. This time, she really processed his proposal though. He could see it in the expression of her slightly widened eyes and the way her lips were pursed firmly. She was holding back an answer yet as she wasn’t ready to say it out loud. Oliver was sure that there was a babble forming in her head and her throat even before it escaped Felicity’s

“You do know that we have been together for only a couple of days, right?” Felicity asked. “Of course you know because you are a part of this relationship too, and I am pretty much sure that you keep count of the days we made it through just like I do. So, we have been together for 29 days. People don’t get married after being together for 29 days. 29 days say nothing about whether or not you are fit enough to spend the rest of your life together. They don’t even say if you make it for another day. What if you grow tired of my babbling tomorrow? What if I grow tired of your abs tomorrow? Though… I love your abs, and you always put them to good use, so I guess I won’t grow tired of them, and even if I do, I will be able to endure them because I love the rest of you so much and-“

“Felicity.”

With a quiet chuckle, he framed Felicity’s face. The touch of his hands against her cheeks made her hold her breath and stare at him with wide eyes. Her lips were pressed together so firmly that they had turned white. Interrupting her babbles had never been easily, but it seemed particularly difficult now.

“Take a deep breath,” he advised her softly. “Relax.”

Felicity followed his gentle request immediately, sucking in a deep breath that filled her chest so much that it brushed against his. When he angled his head forward slightly, Felicity released the breath again. She put her hands to his wrists, rubbing her thumbs over his pulse point as she let herself relax. Oliver could feel her heartbeat calming down in response.

It took a long moment before she lifted her gaze and looked at him again. Her eyes were still widened slightly like she was a deer, ready to run away instead of being killed. The thought amused Oliver slightly, and he brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones until she started smiling nervously. She took in a deep breath. Instead of releasing it, she held it in her lungs and just looked at him though.

Given how little time they had spent as a couple – 29 days to be exact as he knew now without any doubt because there was no way that Felicity was wrong about it – it was irrational how sure he was that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life without her now. They had been friends for so long already and been in each other’s life for so long already that Oliver just couldn’t feel surprised or irritated by how much he wanted her in his life. Even if they hadn’t been friends for so long, he wouldn’t feel different. His love for Felicity was already consuming him so much.

“I am sorry for ambushing you like this.”

“Ambush.” Felicity released a nervous chuckle. “Yeah.”

Oliver’s smile widened. It was his heart that was beating heavily now. Given Felicity’s amusing reaction, he had been too distracted to realize the seriousness that should actually be there when discussing a proposal. Taking her face in, he took in a deep breath.

“When you were talking about our future together, picturing our everyday life so easily,” he explained with soft voice, “I just felt it was right to say it because it was what I was feeling, so I said it.”

It had been exactly like that. She had started talking about their future together, and he had known that it was exactly what he wanted his future to be like. He wanted to stand at the stove and cook for her while she was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking wine. Maybe they could listen to their baby’s breathing over the baby monitor. He couldn’t imagine any better way to spend his evening for the rest of his life.

Felicity still looked at him like a deer that had just seen the hunter. His tough Felicity, the girl that had spent years proving to any guy in technology that she could play very well with the big boys, was afraid of being proposed to. He guessed this had to be added to the long list of things he loved about her.

“It’s okay if this is too quick for you,” he told her honestly. “It was a little bit of a crazy idea given that we haven’t been together for long.”

Felicity nodded. “29 days really is not long.”

“29 days?” Oliver asked, grinning. “Are you sure it’s just 29 days because 29 days is not-“

When Felicity slapped his chest with the back of her hand, he stopped and chuckled. At least she was in for being teased again. He guessed that was a good sign. He had thought that he would have to get the smelling salt to get her back to reality.

Releasing another quiet chuckle, Oliver leaned in and brushed his lips against Felicity’s in a gentle kiss. She pulled her bottom lip between her front teeth and looked at him with an apologetic expression on her face that only made him chuckle more.

Pulling back, he noticed that Felicity was looking at him intensely, trying to figure out if there was any doubt. There was something in her gaze that told Oliver that she still might not be a hundred percent convinced yet that he really meant it. Oliver just smiled at her, giving her time to accept that it was true.

“Are you sure?”

Oliver smiled and brushed his lips against hers once more. He couldn’t get enough of her kisses. He couldn’t get enough of her.

“Very sure,” he whispered as soon as their lips parted. “I love you, and I want to be with you. Whether we are married or not, we and our baby are going to be a family anyway. It’s all I really want.”

Felicity cocked her head and bit down on her bottom lip, still looking at him intensely. Lifting her hand, she brushed her fingertips through his short stubble in the way the both of them enjoyed so much. Her touch had been one of the very reasons why he had never been able to shave his stubble. He didn’t want to miss the feeling of having her fingertips brush through it like this.

When he perked up his eyebrows and still found Felicity looking at him like she didn’t know what to think, he chuckled. He couldn’t deny that there was a little bit of regret rising inside of him now. This proposal, as honest and heartfelt it had been, might have made things between him and Felicity a little awkward.

“Are you angry with me now?”

“What?” he asked, frowning. “No, of course not.”

“Disappointed?” Felicity screwed up her face in pain. “Please don’t say disappointed because disappointed is so much worse than angry. I’d rather have you frigging mad at me for a year than disappointed for just a second.”

Chuckling softly, Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity’s waist firmly and angled his head forward. His lips brushed against her temple before he placed a firm kiss on her forehead. Oliver could feel her leaning her head against his lips. The thought made him smile.

When he pulled back, just enough to look at her, he lifted a hand and brushed his fingertips against her cheek. His touch left a soft blush that made him smile. After all the ways he had touched her and all the spots he had touched her, she shouldn’t be able to blush when he brushed his fingertips against her cheek. Yet, she did, and it was the most adorable thing.

“Felicity, I love you,” he told her firmly after a moment. “I love you, and I want to be with you more than I want anything else. We have taken so long to find our way to each other. We are lucky that we made it at all in this lifetime. Waiting a couple of years to get married is nothing compared to waiting all those years for the both of us to finally realize that we should be together. That is why I am not angry and not disappointed and not anything else than just madly in love with you.”

“You know, it’s not that I am generally opposed to marrying you,” she told him with a small voice. “It’s just that we can’t know if our relationship is going to last for another 29 days or even just a week. We cannot know that, so getting married is just so risky and… and…”

She shrugged her shoulders, unable to find the words that could tell what she wanted to say. Oliver didn’t need her to say the words though. He understood what she meant without her saying the exact words.

Oliver smiled and lifted his hands to her face. He framed her face with his hands gently, holding her like she was the most precious thing to him which he knew she was. Holding Felicity’s face in his hands, he knew he was holding everything he couldn’t live without.

“I know what you mean,” he told her and kissed the tip of her nose. “There is never a guarantee though. People can be together for decades and still break up at the end. At the end, either you take risk or you don’t. That being said, I can only repeat myself. It’s alright if you want to wait. It really was a crazy idea.”

Again, Felicity nodded. “Really very crazy.”

“And now that’s enough of this,” he told her. “You just give me a sign whenever you are ready, and I am going to fall down on my knees and ask again.”

Shaking his head, Oliver chuckled and placed a firm kiss on her lips. Felicity sighed against his mouth and chased after his lips when he wanted to break the kiss. Oliver leaned back in for another moment before he pulled back eventually.

Turning around towards the stove, he noticed the fumes coming from the pan. The smell alone told him that the dinner he had tried to make for Felicity was not savable at all. The vegetables he had wanted to fry were much more than fried by now. They were burnt which he could smell although that had never happened to him before.

Stirring the vegetables, he found his suspicion confirmed. The vegetables had already turned black. The stinking smell of burnt food was increasing with every second.

“Okay, you are not going to eat it,” Oliver said, turning off the hot plate and pushing the pan off it. “We better order takeout.”

Oliver opened the wall cupboard over the stove and grabbed the small basket that had already been placed there before he had taken over the kitchen. It had been a sad day when he had wanted to cook for Felicity only to find that every cupboard as well as her fridge had been empty. She hadn’t earnt a single spice or even dishes. When he had asked her about it, she just shrugged her shoulders and told him that she lived day to day on coffee and takeout.

Brushing through the dozens of menus, he chose three of them. Lifting them, he turned around to Felicity and cocked his head.

“Italian, Chinese or Big Belly?”

Felicity smiled. “Is that even a question?”

“You are right.” Oliver dropped two menus back inside the basket and opened the menustill in his . “A Honey Dijon Burger?”

“You know exactly what this baby wants, don’t you?”

Oliver chuckled. He knew that a Honey Dijon Burger wasn’t Felicity’s usual choice. With their baby growing inside of her, her usual taste had changed a little bit though. She was avoiding too hot food and actually leaned more to easily digested food, well more easily digested food.

“I am going to order some extra fries with sweet-and-sour sauce, so…”

Using the app on his phone, Oliver ordered her burger and the French Fries. After a brief consideration, he ordered a double cheeseburger for himself and sent the order.

“Dinner will arrive in twenty minutes,” he told her and put his phone on the kitchen counter. “I will get rid of this mess here.”

Taking a brief look back over his shoulder to see that Felicity was still looking at him, he chuckled and shook his head. He guessed that this proposal was going to stand between them for a while. It was going to make things awkward. Oliver would have to find a way to make it less awkward he guessed.

“Now, while we can agree that my idea might have been a little crazy,” Oliver said, shooting another look back over his shoulder, “it’s nothing compared to your idea of going to that weird concert that your mother forbid us to go to.”

“Really?” Felicity asked, disbelief in her voice. “That is what you want to call crazy? You were the guy to break all kinds of rules. Do I have to remind you on that one time you tried to climb the bleachers because I forgot my umbrella up there, but you didn’t want to walk around them to get it, and you didn’t want me to get it either.”

“Because it was raining, and it would have taken forever,” Oliver replied matter-of-factly. He took the pan from the hot plate and pushed the burnt vegetables into the trash can. He would take out the trash tomorrow, so the burnt smell wouldn’t be in Felicity’s home for too long. “I just wanted to go home where it was warm and dry, and so did you. You were already developing a cold.”

“Yeah, but we stood in the cold rain for half an hour waiting for the ambulance that could take you to the hospital instead where I had to tell your parents how you broke your leg. The cold developed too.”

“For the record,” Oliver said firmly, “I only fell because my hand slipped on the cold metal, and the little trip to the hospital was still better than that moment when our parents had to pick us up from the police station after the police stopped that concert.”

“Hey, my mom congratulated me for that.”

“Your mom yelled at you for that,” Oliver reminded her, “and she grounded you for a week which meant that you couldn’t come to my birthday party.”

“Just because she didn’t want to seem too lenient in front of your parents,” Felicity replied. “I was spoilt during that week at home.”

Oliver chuckled, shaking his head. “I wish I could say the same thing.”

Compared to the bullshit he could have done, Oliver guessed that he had actually been a good boy and son all in all. Just like his parents had been really good parents all in all. They had been strict, especially compared to Donna, but they had just wanted what was best for him. They hadn’t wanted him to end up like some of his former friends had ended up, being arrested for doing those spoilt, little brat-things he guessed he would have done too if he hadn’t had Felicity to pull him back when it had been too serious.

“What kind of parents do you think we will be?” Oliver asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning back against the kitchen counter slightly. “Are we going to be strict or lenient?”

Felicity puckered her lips, thinking about it for a long moment. Oliver watched her, giving her the time that she needed.

“I think you are going to be lenient, and I am going to be strict,” she said eventually.

Oliver chuckled. “Really? Why do you think that?”

Smiling, Felicity cocked her head and replied, “I think it’s because this little human being growing inside of me will have you wrapped around its little finger the moment he or she is born. You won’t be able to say no or to stay mad at our kid for long. Since you will spoil him or her, I will have to be stricter. That’s it.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, hiding a smile. He didn’t doubt that Felicity was right. He was so in love with their baby already, it could only grow more once he was able to hold him or her in his arms. He would love this human being so much that nothing could ever come close to that. Only his love for Felicity of course.

For Felicity, it would be the same. She would love their baby more than she loved anyone else in this world. With the way she had grown up without a father but with a mother that would do anything for her child, she couldn’t be any different. Unlike him, she would have the ability to not spoil their kid just because she could. After all, she knew what it felt like to be loved and appreciated and yet having to work for what you wanted. He was sure that she would want the same thing for their kid.

“Let me just point out here and now,” Felicity said, resting her forearms on the kitchen island and leaning forward, “that you are going to be the best daddy anyway. Whether you are going to be strict or going to be lenient, you are going to love this baby so much and going to do anything he or she needs you to do. You are going to be the best of daddies.”

Oliver felt his heart warming at her words. If there was someone, whose opinion mattered when it came to his abilities of being a good father, it was Felicity’s. He needed her to trust him to be a good father. If she trusted him to be one, he probably would become one. She had the power to channel his best abilities and qualities.

“You should stop,” he told her with a soft smile, “or I am going to fall down on my knees and propose to you again.”

He turned back to the stove and cleaned the hot plate, distracting himself from the way Felicity looked at him. He knew he was teasing her with the proposal and he would do so for a while he guessed. As long as she wasn’t feeling pushed, he guessed that was okay. It was one of the crazy moments to add to the stories they could tell their kids. They would have the best bedtime stories to tell him or her.

Oliver could almost see them sitting in their child’s nursery. He would sit in one of those comfortable rocking arm chairs, Felicity in his lap. They would hold their baby together, telling him or her stories of their life together.

“Then do it.”

Perking up his eyebrows, Oliver turned back around to Felicity. He was about to ask what she meant when he remembered the last words that he had said to her. His heart stood still, and his breathing got caught in his throat.

“What?”

The way the corners of Felicity’s lips twitched told him that he was probably looking at him the same way that she had been looking at him before. She had to really enjoy this moment given how amused he had been about her before.

Ever so slowly, Felicity slid from her barstool and walked over to him. He was standing there like a dumb pine tree he guessed, just staring at her. Felicity lifted her hands and cupped his cheeks like she had framed his face before. Straightening up onto the tips of her toes, he brushed a soft kiss against his lips.

Oliver left his eyes closed after their lips had touched. He reveled in the aftermath of their kiss, memorizing the feeling that brief touch had given him. Her hands were still resting on his cheeks, and Oliver leaned into her touch. With her, he always felt incredibly safe.

When the words she had said caught up with him once more, Oliver snapped his eyes open and looked at her. He could see in the soft smile on Felicity’s lips that she meant what she had said before.

He angled his head forward, looking at her with intense eyes. Although he was almost a hundred percent sure that Felicity actually meant what she had said before, he didn’t dare to drop on his knees and propose until that last little bit of doubt was gone too. He wasn’t sure if he could survive the disappointment of proposing and being rejected, especially when he was down on his knees.

For a second, he could see the scene plan out. He could imagine going down on a knee and popping the question. He might use words there were close to the ones he had used when he had asked her to be his best woman because those words had indeed been great.

Something told him that there was no need to go down on his knee. Felicity didn’t need any big gestures. It wouldn’t suit them. Just like they had fallen in love naturally, they would decide to get married naturally. There would be no big gestures or anything like that. They would just decide to do so because they loved each other and they knew it was right, not because the proposal was very romantic or planned through in all details.

As Felicity continued smiling at him, Oliver was about to do as she had suggested and drop to one knee and propose to her a second time today after all. Before he could do so, Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against his chest. Oliver could feel her heartbeat against his ribcage and felt her ribs expand with every intake of breath. It was an incredibly good feeling.

He could see in her eyes that he didn’t have to ask her again. She didn’t need to be asked twice. She had already made her decision.

“Let’s be crazy together,” Felicity suggested. “Let’s go to Vegas.”

 

* * *

 

No matter how many bridal magazines she had brushed through and no matter how many episodes of _Say yes to the dress_ she had watched, she had never been able to see herself as a bride. Even trying to picture herself in one of those opulent wedding dresses with a long train and a fine veil, she had only gotten stomach cramps. There hadn’t been a single second that she had been able to see herself like that, no matter how much she had tried. Actually, just the thought of seeing herself in a long white dress and a veil had made her nervous.

Seeing herself all dressed up and styled for her wedding, Felicity knew why. The nude colored dress that was covered with crème-colored lace snuggled around the curves of her body perfectly. The thin straps of the dress accentuated her strong shoulders, and the deep neckline showed just enough cleavage to look seductive without being too deep. Her hair was falling onto her shoulders in loose waves. She had exchanged her glasses against contacts and had covered her face in natural colors. Only her lips were painted in a deep red.

The reason she had never been able to see herself as a bride was because she had had the wrong imagination of bridal style on her mind. She had tried to think of herself as a traditional bride, the kind of bride her mother would probably love her to be, but that was not who she was. The person she was just wasn’t traditional.

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity sat down on the rim of the bathtub. Whenever she thought about the way that had led her here, she felt dizzy. It had all gone so fast and been so crazy. There was no way she could feel different.

Still, she felt a hundred percent sure about her decision. It might have taken a moment for her to realize it, but there was nothing she wanted more than to tie herself to Oliver in all ways possible and it wasn’t even out of fear because she thought that it would stop him from leaving her. Once she had talked about what a great daddy Oliver would be, she had known that there was nobody who would ever love her as much as Oliver and nobody she would ever be able to trust her heart and her life with. With him, she knew her heart and their baby’s heart were safe. He would never hurt either of them.

Smiling, Felicity rested her hand on her lower stomach and slowly stroked her hand over where their baby was growing.

One month ago, she and Oliver had gotten together. Two months ago, the thought that they could ever be together had been impossible. Three months ago, they had been living on opposite sides of the country. Getting married today might look like a rash decision, but it wasn’t.

Yesterday, after Oliver had realized that she was being serious, he had wrapped his arms around her and scooped her up in the air. He had swirled her around the way he had when she had agreed to be his best woman. She had made quite the career as the woman at Oliver’s side. From best friend over best woman to fiancée in just a couple of weeks. All she had to do was give it another few hours, and she was his wife.

The thought made Felicity’s heart jump into her throat with excitement. No matter how rash the decision might have been, she and Oliver hadn’t wanted to wait any longer. They had booked a flight for the early morning. Then they had called Robert and had told him that they needed to take a couple of days off, not telling him why. They had just reassured him that the baby was okay and there was no other medical emergency. They just wanted to take his offer of taking some time to sort things out.

When they had arrived in Las Vegas this morning, they had checked into the luxurious hotel suite. They had sat down on the balcony outside to look over the city while they were eating breakfast. The rest of the day had been spent exploring the city. Felicity had showed him all of her favorite places. It had been a great feeling to show Oliver Las Vegas when she was usually trying to forget about it.

Tomorrow she would show him a little more of the city before they would have to go back. It was a pity that they couldn’t have taken more time, but they didn’t want to raise any suspicions by being out of the city at the same time for too long. Their mothers were always keeping an eye on them since they had broken off their engagements though Felicity doubted that they had any idea what was going on between them.

A quiet knock at the door made Felicity flinch and turn her head.

“Felicity,” Oliver said softly, “it’s time.”

The words made Felicity’s heart jump up into her throat once more. Taking in a deep breath, she got up from the rim of the bathtub. She stroked her slightly trembling hands down her dress once more before she turned towards the door. She took another deep breath before she unlocked the door and opened it.

Oliver was leaning in the frame of the door, his hands buried in the pockets of his pants loosely. He looked incredibly good with the smoking and his slightly tousled hair. He also smelled fantastic with the mix of aftershave and the scent of his own skin. If it wasn’t for the appointment they had, she would probably jump him right now.

When her eyes met Oliver’s, she frowned slightly. He was looking at her intensely, his eyes almost narrowed at her.

“What?” she asked, quickly looking down at herself to check if she had maybe smeared her lipstick on her dress or if the fabric had slipped and her boobs were exposed now. Neither was the case though. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you getting cold feet?”

“No.” Her answer was quick and firm. “No, not at all.”

“Oh, okay.” Oliver nodded quickly and shot a brief look back over her shoulder to the bathroom. “It’s just that you have been in there for quite some time, and I thought that maybe-“

“No,” Felicity said again, shaking her head. “Or are you-?”

“No, absolutely not.”

As if to confirm the correctness of his answer, Oliver stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around her waist and bend her back. His lips caught hers in a gentle kiss that made Felicity lifted her hands to his cheeks and sigh against his lips. She knew that if Oliver let go of her now, she would lose her balance and fall to the floor, but she still leaned back into his arms, knowing he would never let her fall.

When their lips parted, Oliver still held her bent back like that. His pupils were blown wide, and the expression in his eyes was incredibly soft. It embraced Felicity’s heart in warmth, making her feel all fuzzy.

“You look beautiful,” he told her with whispered voice, “stunning actually.”

Felicity smiled and felt herself blushing. “Thank you.”

Oliver looked at her intensely for a couple of seconds. It was a moment to get lost in, a moment to stay in forever. If he continued to look at her like that forever, she knew that she could never be unhappy.

“Ready to get married?”

Felicity’s smile widened. “Absolutely.”

Barely five minutes later, they stepped out of the hotel hand in hand. Felicity stopped at the sight of the black stretch limousine that stood right in front of the entrance. A tall man with chocolate brown eyes and small lips opened the door to the leather seats in the back of the limousine. The leather looked so soft that Felicity could just melt into it from seeing it.

Turning her head towards Oliver, she asked, “What is that?”

Oliver smiled warmly. “That, Felicity, is the limousine that will take us to the chapel where we are getting married.”

When Felicity frowned, Oliver stepped in front of her with a chuckle. She guessed that he knew exactly that a luxury like this wasn’t something she was used to. Although she couldn’t complain about not earning enough money lately, she had never wasted it on things like this. She didn’t doubt that Oliver knew that.

“I didn’t kneel down when I proposed, and I didn’t have an engagement ring either,” Oliver said with a soft voice, “so I thought this was the least I could do to spoil you a little bit.”

Lacing his fingers through hers, Oliver tugged her towards the limousine. They sat down on the soft leather seats, and Felicity couldn’t contain a content sigh as she found that the leather was even softer as it had looked. It was doing good to her sore back. She had no idea how her back could be feeling sore already. Their baby was still so very tiny that there was no bump showing at all right now. She wondered what her back would feel like in a couple of months when the baby was ready to be born.

Luckily, there was still some time to get used to that, so Felicity decided to focus on what was right in front of her instead of months away. The thought made her smile and turn her head towards Oliver, who was just getting into the limousine after her. When she put her hand on his thigh, he rested his hand right on top of hers.

“Are you going to tell me where exactly we are going?” Felicity asked when the limousine started rolling. “Or do you want to keep it a secret?”

Oliver smiled. “I wouldn’t say it’s a secret, but I doubt that there is anything I can say to describe how truly beautiful the location is.”

“It’s not going to be an Elvis Chapel, right?”

Chuckling, Oliver shook his head. “Don’t worry. I might be taking that fancy, white wedding away from you, but I would never do something like that to you.”

Felicity squeezed her hand gratefully. She hadn’t really thought that Oliver would let some drunk Elvis impersonator marry them. Given their spontaneous decision to get married, she had just wondered if that was the only possibility they would have.

“You know, I don’t really mind our secret elopement,” Felicity said, resting her chin on Oliver’s shoulder and smiling at him. “I think it’s nice to spare ourselves the stress of planning a wedding that everyone else likes.”

“Besides, we can still do that later.”

“You make it sound like we have a choice.” Felicity chuckled and rested her forehead against Oliver’s shoulder for a moment. “When our mothers find out that we got married without them, they will force us to get married in some opulent ceremony once more.”

“You mean if they don’t kill us.”

“True.” Oliver kissed the top of her head. “I doubt that they will kill us though, especially when we tell them that there is a baby on the way.”

Felicity smiled, angling her head back to look at Oliver for a moment. “I guess they will just make us go through a really big wedding. My mom’s probably going to suggest some Jewish traditions too.

“I would like that.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Really?”

Cocking his head, Oliver lifted a hand and brushed his fingertips against her cheek. “You are Jewish, so of course I’d appreciate some Jewish customs to be part of our wedding.”

Felicity straightened up a little to brush her lips against his in a kiss of thanks. With a sigh, she rested her head back against his shoulder and enjoyed the silence that spread between them. It was a content silence that needed no words, the kind of silence that spread between her and Oliver so easily after all those years they had known each other.

When the limousine stopped fifteen minutes later, Felicity lifted her head from Oliver’s shoulder quickly. Once more, she felt her heart jumping into her throat. Now it was only a matter of minutes before he was married to Felicity.

As soon as the door opened, Oliver moved to the edge of the seats and got out. He closed the button of his jacket and held out his hand for her with a smile. Felicity didn’t hesitate, putting her hand into his and letting him help her to get out of the car.

The chapel didn’t look exactly spectacular, but it didn’t look like the kind of place where drunks threw up in every corner either.

Without saying a word, Oliver laced his fingers through hers. He nodded towards the chapel, looking at her questioning. Felicity smiled and nodded her head. She took in a deep breath before she took the first step. Her hand tightened around Oliver’s fingers as they strolled towards the building slowly.

They had just reached the doors when Oliver suddenly stepped in front of Felicity. He looked at her intensely, and for a second Felicity thought that he would ask her yet again if she was sure that she wanted to do this. Felicity pushed her chin forward slightly, ready to fight him. Oliver recognized the expression on her face and swallowed whatever he had meant to say.

“Ready?” he asked instead.

Felicity nodded her head. “Absolutely.”

Oliver turned around and pushed open the double doors. Taking a step to the side, he allowed Felicity to see what was inside the plain building. What she saw simply took her breath away.

A long aisle led down to a flower arch. There were flowers everywhere, and the light coming from the dozens of candles dipped everything into a beautiful, golden light. The absolute highlight was the tree growing right behind the flower arch though. Garlands of white flowers were hanging down from the branches, and there was actual grass growing at the foot of the tree.

“Wow.”

The sound escaped Felicity’s lips in a low whisper. She really hadn’t had any expectations when it came to the wedding location. It was just a location after all which was also why Felicity had left the choice of location and task to book it to Oliver. Now she knew why he had kept it a secret.

“How did you book this?” Felicity asked, turning towards Oliver. “I mean this location doesn’t look like it should be booked spontaneously.”

Oliver smiled and released a low hum before he admitted, “I might have needed to help a little to make it bookable this late.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “You offered a couple money to not get married here tonight?”

“Hey, I offered them a one-week stay in the Penthouse Suite at the Wynn-Hotel in exchange for this location tonight,” Oliver told her and shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, but a cheeky smile spread across his lips nonetheless. “I think it was a really fair offer to them as they would have stayed in a cheap hostel for three days otherwise. I hope that it’s also a fair offer to you. I mean I cannot offer you the perfect wedding, but I can offer you the perfect location.”

Cocking her head, Felicity cupped Oliver’s cheeks. Her thumbs brushed against the corners of his lips until they twitched into a soft smile. Felicity felt relieved at the sight. Oliver had looked so sad before when he had talked about not being able to offer Felicity the wedding, he thought she deserved. Apparently, there were things that he didn’t understand about her after all.

Straightening up onto the tip of her toes, Felicity brushed her lips against Oliver’s. He put his arms around her body in response and held her to him. When Felicity broke the kiss, Oliver’s eyes were on her face instantly.

“You are here,” she said in a low voice, “as my husband-to-be. What could be more perfect?”

Oliver smiled and rested his forehead against hers. Felicity closed her eyes, enjoying the way his breath ghosted over her face. She angled her head slightly, bringing her lips closer to his. She could almost taste his lips on hers already.

Before their lips could actually touch, someone cleared his throat. Oliver and Felicity both turned their heads to see the Afro-American man – a tall man with a buzz cut and chocolate brown eyes that could melt hearts in no time – was standing close to the flower arch, waiting for them it seemed.

Felicity placed a firm kiss on the right corner of Oliver’s mouth before she let go of him. Side by side, they walked over to where the man was waiting for them with a patient smile.

“Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied and nodded his head. “We have talked on the phone.”

“Ethan Griffin,” he introduced himself and held out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Oliver and Felicity both shook his hand. Oliver wrapped his arm around Felicity’s waist after it, and she leaned against his side nervously. Mr. Griffin smiled at her warmly though. Felicity guessed that he had dealt with a lot of nervous brides already.

“Do you have any questions?”

Felicity put her head back to look at Oliver’s face for a moment. He held her gaze and shot her a brief smile before he looked back at Mr. Griffin, shaking his head.

“No, I don’t think we have questions.”

“You have not chosen any music or any-“

“We actually like to just get it over with,” Felicity interrupted him and smiled soothingly when Mr. Griffin perked up his eyebrows in surprise. “We have already wasted so much time, you know?”

At that, Mr. Griffin smiled and nodded his head. “I’d say we start then.”

Biting down on her lip to contain her smile a little bit, Felicity turned around. She and Oliver were standing face to face. Their hands were holding onto each other, and their eyes were locked.

“Mason Cooley once said that regret for wasted time is just more wasted time,” Mr. Griffin started, and Felicity wondered if he had a handful of quotes in the back of his head to choose from when he was marrying people. “We are here today because you chose not to live in regret about the time you have wasted. You chose to make use of the chance you got now and not wait. You make good for the time you have wasted by this.”

Felicity felt Oliver’s fingers tightening around her hands. She could see a little bit of regret in his eyes because of all the time they had wasted, especially after their first night together. All it took was for her to shake her head slowly. With a deep intake of breath, Oliver pushed away the guilt he was feeling. He knew as well as she knew that it just didn’t have any use.

“Now, before you declare your vows to one another, I need to hear you confirm that it is indeed your own and free choice to have come here today to get married,” Mr. Griffin said. “Felicity, did you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Oliver in marriage? If so, answer _I do._ ”

There was a tingling in Felicity’s stomach that spread all through her body it seemed. It wasn’t the _I do_ that would change her entire life, but it was a first huge step towards it.

“I do.”

Felicity wasn’t surprised that her voice was firm and steady as she said those two little words. She really wanted this, so there was no hesitation and no room for insecurity about her decision.

Oliver, did you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Felicity in marriage? If so, answer _I do_.”

“I do.”

“Oliver and Felicity, now that you have stated your intention to be married to each other, I ask you to declare your marriage vows.” Mr. Griffin smiled at the two of them. “Do you have individual vows at hand?”

“We didn’t really have time to plan anything, so-“

“We didn’t plan any of this,” Felicity said with emphasize, “and yet here we are. I think we can be spontaneous with our vows too.”

Oliver smiled and nodded his head in agreement.

“Felicity,” Mr. Griffin said, “you may start.”

Felicity took in a deep breath, telling herself not to start babble. This was the one time in her life that she really didn’t want to be babbling. She knew it was stupid because Oliver knew that she tended to babble, and he loved her for it. Still, she hoped that her brain-to-mouth filter would let her say the right words without blurting them out for once.

“Oliver,” Felicity started, letting his name fall off her lips so easily. “Twenty years ago, I was uprooted from the city I have grown up in and my entire life there. I felt as unsafe as a child at that age could feel because being in that home, I didn’t know, with all the people, I didn’t know, really was a lot for a scared little girl to take in.”

Felicity remembered that the flight from Vegas to Starling had felt like it had taken forever. She had been sad about leaving Vegas, the only place she had ever known. There had also been a thousand questions on her mind, questions about why they had to leave at all why they had to do so without daddy and where daddy was. The quiet tears that had streamed her mother’s face had stopped Felicity from asking any of them though.

“Then there was you,” Felicity continued, and she couldn’t hide a wide smile. “I know you weren’t really happy with me being there. A girl in your home, playing with your toys.”

She shook her head, emphasizing how much he had disliked the fact that she and Donna had moved into his home and stole some of his parents’ and Raisa’s attention. Oliver pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and lowered his eyes guiltily for the break of a second.

“Still, we became best friends, and that hasn’t changed in all the years. No matter what difficulties tried to part us or how many miles were between us, we have always stayed friends.” Felicity felt her voice starting to tremble and took in a deep breath. “For the past twenty years, you have been the one person I always felt closest to. You were the one person I knew I could always turn to, no matter what was on my mind. You were always there for me, always understood me and always respected me.”

Oliver had indeed been the first and only person that Felicity had ever felt that way with. It had made it so easy to open up to him and tell him everything that was on her mind. It still made it so very easy.

There was a single tear escaping the corner of her eye. Felicity wanted to wipe it away, but Oliver’s fingers were there already. He rested his hand against her cheek and brushed the tears away with his thumb. As his hand stayed at the side of her face, Felicity leaned into his touch for a moment. When she kissed the palm of Oliver’s hand, he smiled and put his hand back into hers.

“You have been the best friend I could have hoped for.” Felicity smiled through the new tears that were welling in her eyes. “I could not hope for a better husband or a better father for my children, and I choose you to be nobody else but yourself. That is why today, I vow to always love you, encourage you, trust you and respect you the way you always loved, encouraged, trusted and respected me. As a family, we will create a home filled with learning, laughter and compassion. I promise to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality knowing that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. Today, I choose you to be my husband. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life.”

Felicity almost felt out of breath by the time the last syllable fell from her lips. Gazing at Oliver’s eyes intensely, Felicity took in a deep breath and shot a quick prayer to the heaven in thanks of her brain-to-mouth filter not failing her for once.

“I love you.”

Oliver mouthed the words, not loud enough for her to hear him. She could read the words from his lips though. She smiled.

“Oliver.”

Mr. Griffin’s voice was as soft as ever as he turned his gaze towards Oliver. As Oliver’s eyes met his, Mr. Griffin nodded encouragingly.

Locking his eyes back with Oliver’s, he took in a deep breath. The smile on his lips was turning nervous at the prospect of saving his own vows now.

“Felicity,” Oliver said, and his nervousness was audible in every little sound of saying her name. “I cannot remember what my life has been like before you, and whenever I try to think of what my life would look like if you hadn’t become part of it, I cannot help but think that I would have turned into a complete mess. There is no way that I would have turned into the person I was now if it wasn’t for you.”

Felicity faintly remembered a conversation she had once had with Robert. He had told her how happy he was that she had showed up in all of their lives. He had taken her into his heart the moment he had first seen her, Moira even before that. Oliver might have needed a moment, but he had benefited so much from having her in his life. Robert had even gone as far as stating that she had been the saving grace to stop him from ending up like some of his friends, dropping out of half a dozen colleges and being arrested every other weekend for some stupid rich-boy things.

“You have always encouraged me to be the best version of myself,” Oliver continued. “Because of you, I wanted to use my father’s company to help people who needed help. Because of you, I decided to build the Geek Squad to help girls of low-income families pursuing their dreams of big in STEM. Because of you, I became the person I am today which I really hope is a good person, one that is worthy of your love.”

Squeezing his fingers, Felicity answered to Oliver’s last sentence without saying a word. He was worthy of her love easily. He was a great guy, worthy of everything good life had to offer.

“Felicity,” he said her name once more, breathing it out in a low whisper. “You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn’t know I needed, and the joy that I didn’t know I lacked. Today, I take you to be my spouse. I promise to choose you every day, to love you in word and deed, to do the hard work of making now into always. To laugh with you, cry with you, grow with you, and create with you. To honor the divinity in you, of you, and around you. To be your kin and your partner in all of life’s adventures. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I don’t yet know, I give you my hand. I give you my love. I give you myself.”

Felicity felt her throat starting to burn. As little as she had thought that she needed Oliver to vow her any of this, as much she felt that she had longed for it all the time.

She felt another tear escape the corner of her eye. Oliver’s fingers brushed it away gently. His hand stayed rested against her cheek for a moment, and Felicity leaned her face into his touch. With closed eyes, she angled her face enough to breathe in the scent of his skin. It comforted her in a way only the scent of his skin could.

“Do you have rings?”

Mr. Griffin’s voice interrupted the silence. Oliver brushed his thumb against her bottom lip before he pulled his hand away.

Felicity continued to look at Oliver for a moment before she turned to Mr. Griffin and replied, “No, we don’t have any-“

“Actually,” Oliver interrupted her and cleared his throat slightly, “we do have rings.”

With held breath, Felicity watched him reaching into the pockets of his pants and pulling out a small leather box. Opening it, he revealed two rings. If Felicity hadn’t been holding her breath already, she would have gasped for breath now. The two platinum rings, as simple as they were since they didn’t have any details to them, were just beautiful.

“I know they are a little plain,” Oliver said carefully, probably mistaking her silence for something it wasn’t, “as they don’t have any details and no gravure. We just decided to get married so spontaneously that I was happy to find any rings that-“

Stepping forward and framing his face with her hands, Felicity interrupted Oliver. She straightened up onto the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss against his lips. It was a gentle kiss of gratitude because she couldn’t say how much she really had to thank him for this.

“Thank you,” she whispered before she pecked his lips once more. “They are beautiful.”

“Yeah?” Olive asked

Felicity nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Your rings are the outward and visible sign of the inward and invisible bond which already unites you two heart in love,” Mr. Griffin said. “Oliver, please place the ring on Felicity’s finger and repeat after me.”

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver took the ring from the box and placed it at the tip of Felicity’s fingers. When the locked eyes, Felicity could see Oliver’s pupils still being blown wide from love for her.

“I give you this ring.”

“I give you this ring,” Oliver said, his eyes locked onto Felicity’s firmly.

“Wear it with love and joy.”

“Wear it with love and joy,” Oliver repeated, and Felicity could just hope that he could see how much she wanted to do that indeed.

“As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

“As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

Forever. It was a word that not a lot of people could make her believe they actually meant. With Oliver, she knew that he was serious though. He would love her one way or the other.

As Oliver pushed the ring onto her finger, Felicity felt torn between looking at his face and looking at the small metal on her ring finger. It was a weird feeling having it there as she had never liked to wear rings. They had always been in the way of typing. Now that she was feeling it placed on her finger and knowing that it was a symbol of Oliver’s love for her, it was different though. It felt right.

“Felicity,” Mr. Griffin said softly. “It’s your turn. Please place the ring on Oliver’s finger and repeat after me.”

Felicity placed the ring at the tip of Oliver’s finger. Instead of waiting until Mr. Griffin continued, Felicity just repeated the words that had been said before.

“Oliver, I give you this ring. Wear it with love and joy. As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

Although Oliver didn’t say a word, she could see the same thoughts, that had occupied her moments ago, racing through his mind. He wasn’t used to wearing rings either. Just like her, he could feel the good this symbol was carrying though.

“May the wedding rings you exchanged today remind you always that you are surrounded by enduring love.” Mr. Griffin looked back and forth between the both of them. “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

That was it. They were married, tied together in all ways humanly possible. Getting rid of each other wasn’t possible without a lot of paperwork now. What would have scared her with every other man, made her feel so much calmer with Oliver.

“Oliver, you may kiss your bride.”

Of course Oliver didn’t have to be told twice. He framed Felicity’s face with his hands and brushed his lips against hers. As her body moved closer to his, Felicity wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. Oliver moved his hands from her back and wrapped his arms around her waist. Still kissing each other, they held onto each other. Exactly like they would do for the rest of their lives now.


	20. Bilita Mpash

_= An amazing, Not just a "good" dream; the opposite of a nightmare (Bantu)_

 

All of her life, even during that short time she had been engaged to Carter, Felicity hadn’t been able to really see herself getting married. She hadn’t been able to see herself as a bride, wearing a white dress while she was vowing to always trust someone who owned her heart and, hence, made her incredibly vulnerable. She hadn’t been able to see herself as a wife, legally tied to someone who could leave her overnight, forcing her to start all over like she and her mother had been forced to do more than twenty years ago.

For Felicity, getting married had always included making herself dependent of a man. She had always known that it was the last thing she wanted in life. She wanted to be her own person, standing on her own feet and finding her way through life without someone tugging at her hand and pulling her on other paths than she wanted to tread. She hadn’t wanted to find herself in the middle of a path she had never wanted to go in the first place, left alone to find her way back to where she should be.

Yet, here she was with a man she loved so much that it would destroy her if he ever left her, hence, making her vulnerable. They had said their vows. They had exchanged the wedding bands. They had shared their first kiss as husband and wife. They had signed the wedding certificate. They had tied themselves to each other legally. She had tied herself to him as much as legally possible.

Felicity almost stumbled over her own feet while Oliver was walking her backwards to the doors and out of the wedding chapel. At least Felicity believed that was where he was taking her. She wasn’t exactly sure as she was too distracted by his lips that were claiming hers. She just trusted him to take her to some place where they could celebrate that they had just tied the knot.

As scared as she had been about getting married to anyone, as happy she was now that she had gotten married to Oliver. She knew in her bones that she had made the right decision. She trusted Oliver, and she was optimistic about the life they were going to have together.

The thought made Felicity smile against Oliver’s lips. Her arms tightened around his neck, and she pressed her body even closer to his. If these first minutes of their marriage were any indication for what their forever would look like, Felicity was sure that they’d be floating on cloud nine for quite some time.

When their feet eventually came to a stop, Oliver angled her head back a little more, so he could deepen the kiss once more. It only lasted briefly though. With his hands on her cheeks, cupping her face, he soon leaned back. As their lips broke apart, their eyes locked, and Felicity felt her heartbeat slowing down. The world around her seemed to stand still as all she saw was Oliver.

“I love you,” he whispered, his thumbs stroking over her cheek softly. “I love you so much.”

Whenever someone had told her that they loved her, Felicity’s initial reaction had always been asking “Really?”. She had always felt some kind of surprise when someone had told her they loved her. With Oliver, Felicity didn’t need to ask that question. She could see in his eyes that he really meant it. He really loved her.

A content sigh fell from Felicity’s lips. She stroked her hands up and down Oliver’s chest, letting her fingers follow the suspenders. She could feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath the palms of her hands, and it made her smile even more.

“I love you too.”

Her sweet reply was said with whispered voice. She knew that the missing firmness in her voice didn’t mean that her words lacked strength in the heart though. Oliver knew that she loved him as much as Felicity knew that he loved her too.

Smiling, Oliver leaned in once more. His lips brushed against hers, and Felicity couldn’t help but sigh against his lips. Her fingers moved into his short hair once more. She clawed them around some strands and pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss. As Oliver’s strong arms wrapped around her waist, Oliver lifted Felicity slightly, so her feet dangled some inches over the ground. Humming at the wonderful feeling of being carried by him like that. She sucked at his bottom lip in silent gratitude. Tonight, she was particularly addicted to the taste of his lips on hers.

The low harrumph of a voice made them pull apart. Felicity felt her cheeks reddening when she caught sight of the driver. He was standing at the door to the backseat of the limousine, the door handle already in his hand and smiled at them almost a little amusedly. Felicity had been too distracted by Oliver’s kisses to notice him.

“Mr. Queen. Mrs. Queen.” He smiled politely. “Congratulations.”

Felicity was already taking in a breath to reply that she wasn’t really Mrs. Queen as she and Oliver had decided to delay the decision about what surname to take on. With how spontaneous everything had been, they hadn’t wanted to rush this decision. After all, it was a huge decision to make, especially given the company they were managing together and the baby they were going to have soon.

“That’s very nice of you,” Oliver said quickly, interrupting Felicity before she could say anything. “We trust your discretion in this.”

“Of course, Mr. Queen.”

The driver opened the door to the backseats and pushed Felicity into the car quickly. While she was making herself comfortable on the soft leather seats, she heard Oliver asking the driver to take his time during the drive home and maybe take a little detour. They wanted to see the city at night before they had to leave tomorrow.

When Oliver got into the back of the limousine a moment later, closing the door after him, Felicity looked at him with slightly puckered lips. Oliver perked up his eyebrows in response, asking what that look she shot him was about without saying a word. Felicity cocked her head.

“We should make our decision about the name soon if we are actually going to tell our parents about this which we should do because I think we really were lucky that nobody caught us spending all this time with each other so far and-“

Oliver grabbed one of her feet and pulled her closer until her legs rested on his thighs and her chest pressed to his side. He wrapped his arm around her back and lifted her into his lap. When he leaned forward, bending Felicity back, she smiled softly. Once more, she felt so incredibly protected in his arms.

“Do you really want to talk about our mothers now?”

Felicity’s smile widened and turned almost a little coy at his question. When Oliver perked up his eyebrows, waiting for her answer impatiently, Felicity shook her head.

“No, absolutely not.”

“Good,” Oliver replied, dipping his head forward. “Neither do I.”

With that, he brushed his lips against hers once more. The kiss was gentle. It made her stomach flutter in the best way and caused her heart to beat in an un-rhythmic way. Every cell in her body focused on Oliver and the way he touched her. She couldn’t possibly feel any better than she did at this moment.

There was a part of Felicity that wanted to sit up and straddle Oliver’s lap. She wanted to move against and him and feel him hardening at the friction. She felt the desire to claim him now that she belonged to him legally. She wanted to unite with him once more, now that they were one.

Instead of doing so, she just enjoyed the gentleness of his touch and the sweetness of his kisses. Her fingers stroked through his short stubble. It tickled her fingertips in the way she liked so much, and she could feel how much Oliver enjoyed the touch too. He hummed against her lips, and it caused the vibration to echo in her chest.

By the time their lips parted, Felicity didn’t know how long they had been kisses. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. She always lost her sense for time when Oliver was around, and she didn’t want it any other way.

Felicity continued to keep her eyes close as Oliver nuzzled her nose. She had no idea how a touch like this could feel this turning on, but it did. Just the feeling of his nose rubbing against hers as his breath was ghosting over her face made goosebumps spread all over her back and a jolt of pleasure to rush through her core.

She leaned in for another quick kiss before she pulled away and opened her eyes. Oliver had his eyes still closed, allowing her to take him in for a moment. The sight of how content his face looked in his hands was something she wanted to remember. Most of her life, he had felt a deep struggle. She had seen it in his eyes. Right now, there was nothing but peace visible on his face though. He really was at peace.

When her gaze fell onto the platinum ring on her left hand, Felicity faltered. She took her fingers away from his face to watch the ring more intensely. The ring was almost plain as it didn’t have any details. For Felicity, it still was perfect though. Maybe it was even because of its plainness that it was so perfect to her.

“I would have gotten you a better ring,” Oliver whispered eventually, mistaking her silence for something it wasn’t. “There just wasn’t enough time. I had to take what was available and-“

Felicity framed his face with her hands once more. Kissing him, she interrupted his apology. It wasn’t necessary for him to apologize. Everything about their wedding had been absolutely possible. There was nothing else she could have wished for.

“I love the ring,” Felicity told him. “Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t care. All I care about is you.”

Love and amazement sparkled in Oliver’s eyes. Felicity felt her stomach flutter just from the way he was looking at her. It woke all the little butterflies that had been growing inside of her during all of their lives. With every sweet, little thing Oliver had done, another butterfly had hatched and joined the rest of the swarm.

Oliver brushed his lips against hers once more. Felicity forgot everything around her like she did so often when she got wrapped up in his kisses. The world around them just seemed to fade out until only the two of them were left.

The continued to kiss and smooch during the rest of the drive through the city. When the limousine stopped in front of the hotel, Felicity was relieved that she had been able to hold back on the urge of getting to the steamier kissing. It was already hard to get out of the limousine with the gentle kisses they had shared. If they had taken it any further, she wouldn’t be able to walk through the reception hall now.

Hand in hand, they took the elevator to the topmost floor. They didn’t dare to look at each other, knowing they would go for each other the moment their eyes would lock. Now that their hotel room was in reach, they couldn’t wait to unite. Felicity could feel it in the way her core already prickled at the thought of how he would touch her, and she could feel the same tension coming from Oliver.

As soon as the doors of the elevator opened, they stepped out. Oliver almost pushed Felicity out of the small cage and towards the only doors up here, the one that let to their suite. Standing in front of the door, Felicity rummaged in her purse to find the key card to their hotel suite. She almost expected Oliver to wrap his arms around her from behind and push his face into the crook of her neck to explore her sensitive skin with his lips, his tongue and his teeth. Instead, he kept his distance, giving her the time, she needed. He probably knew that his kisses would just distract her from getting them into the privacy of their room.

When she found the key card, she lifted it with a triumphant smile. She looked back over her shoulder briefly and found Oliver smiling at her excitedly.

Felicity pushed the door open, already dropping her purse to the floor. She was just about to turn around and push Oliver back against the door, so she could kiss him until they were both out of breath when the sight of the suite caught up to her. Without any kisses, she felt her breath getting caught in her throat.

The floor of their hotel room was covered in rose petals. Someone had lit the fire in the fireplace. Candles had been placed all over the room, dipping it into a warm, almost golden light. Where a large unobstructed area had been in front of the fireplace, when they had left, was now a fluffy carpet as well a sea of pillows and some warm blankets.

While Felicity was still staring at the view in front of her, Oliver wrapped his arms around her from behind. His arms crossed on her stomach, and his chest pressed to her back. Felicity almost melted back against him, letting him hold her. Oliver rested his chin on her shoulder, moving his cheek against hers slightly, so his short stubble scratched her sensitive skin.

“I know I couldn’t give you a perfect wedding or a perfect wedding band,” Oliver whispered, his voice incredibly soft, “but I can give you this. A perfect wedding night.”

It took Felicity a moment to breathe through her emotions that were heavy on her tongue. Slowly, she turned in Oliver’s arms and straightened up onto her toes. As her arms wrapped around Oliver’s neck, she brushed a loving kiss against his lips.

“I love you, Oliver,” she whispered, “and our wedding night would have been perfect even without all of this. Wanna know why?”

Oliver cocked his head. A teasing smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Because I am a god in bed?”

As much as Felicity tried to just roll her eyes at him and tell him that Las Vegas must have gotten into his head, she couldn’t bite back the glimpse of a smile on her face. Since she knew that Oliver could see it because he could read her like a book, she pushed her answer away.

“That might be one reason,” Felicity told him. “The other is just because you are here. You are all I really need to be happy.”

Oliver smiled and spread his fingers on the small of her back. “In that case, I am never going to leave again.”

Thanking him for the promise, knowing he’d do anything he could to keep it, Felicity brushed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It was meant to be nothing more than a gentle kiss of gratitude. As their lips moved together slowly, it soon grew into more though. Now that all necessary words had been said, they could finally celebrate their wedding by uniting their bodies.

Oliver seemed to have come to the same conclusion. His right hand moved from the small of her back to her side already. He didn’t have to search long to find that small zipper there. He pulled it down slowly, letting his fingers sneak under the fabric of the dress and brush against her ribs. Felicity sighed contently at the feeling, leaning more against him.

While Oliver continued to explore the little bit of skin he had exposed on the side of her chest, her fingers moved down to the bow tie. She unknotted it with two quick movements, pulled it from his neck and dropped it to the floor. Her fingers didn’t stop there. She started unbuttoning his shirt quickly. As soon as she had pushed the fabric down his shoulders. Oliver did the same with the straps of her dress, making the fabric pool around her ankles.

As her body pushed against Oliver’s now, she could feel his naked skin against her. The thought made her sigh contently. Her arms tightened around Oliver’s shoulders and she leaned even more against him. Oliver brushed his fingertips down her back from her shoulders over her ribcage to the small of her back. They danced along the hem of her panties for a moment before they cupped her butt, and he lifted her into his arms. Felicity wrapped her legs around his hips immediately, clinging to him.

Oliver slipped out of his shoes and socks. With slow steps, he then walked over to the fireplace. With the way her legs were wrapped around his hips, she could feel his groin pressing against her center. Moaning at the delicious friction, she moved her hips against it to increase her pleasure. She could feel more and more blood rushing to Oliver’s cock in response.

On the carpet, Oliver let her back down to the floor. The fluffy fabric felt even fluffier beneath her feet. It was a great place to spend their wedding night.

Even more turned on by the thought, Felicity unbuckled Oliver’s belt and quickly lowered the zipper. Pushing her fingertips beneath the waistband of his pants, she moved them back and forth for a while. With one quick movement, she pulled down his pants and boxer briefs in one go.

Felicity reached out her hand, intending to grab his length and stroke her hand up and down his shaft until Oliver was putty in her hands and there was nothing, he needed more than to thrust into her until they were blind from pleasure. She wanted to hear him panting at her touch and hold onto her while he was clinging to the last bit of self-control.

Before Felicity could take his cock into her hand and do as she wanted, Oliver’s fingers caught hers though. Breaking the kiss, she pulled back to frown at him slightly. Oliver was smiling at her softly, and the expression in his eyes made her stomach tingle.

“Tonight,” Oliver whispered and leaned in to brush his lips against hers in a featherlight kiss, “is all about you.”

With those words being said, Oliver laced his fingers with Felicity’s and pulled her back towards him. Their lips met in another kiss. It was still slow and gentle, but the arousal they were both feeling was shining through the touch of their lips.

Letting go of her fingers, Oliver moved his hands up her arm to her shoulders. While Felicity was moving her fingers up and down Oliver’s chest slowly, letting the palm of her hands explore the muscles of his upper body, he unhooked the clasp of her bra and pulled the fabric down her arms. As he dropped it to the floor, his fingers already hooked into the waistband of her panties and pushed them down her legs.

With her right hand resting on his heart, Felicity pulled back. Her eyes locked with Oliver’s immediately. They were standing in front of each other naked. Despite their arousal and their need for each other, they were just looking at each other’s eyes. Felicity felt her heart stumble in her chest at the way Oliver looked at her with so much love in his eyes. With every other man, she knew she’d be embarrassed to just stand there in all of her naked glory. Oliver just wasn’t anyone else than the one he was.

When a smile spread on Oliver’s lips, telling her that the realization that they were married now had probably just hit him again, Felicity smiled too. It was all the go they both needed. Their lips met in another kiss. While Felicity was putting her arms around Oliver’s neck, he put his hands to the back of her thighs. Felicity jumped up at him, wrapping her legs around his hips and clinging to him.

The new position brought his hot length in contact with her center. Her arousal had already made her wet. The feeling of having him pressed against her opening that was already pulsating from the need to have him fill her, made her urge even closer towards him.

Oliver released a low growl at how she was clinging to him. The way she needed him woke his most primitive instincts. Even though Oliver didn’t say it, and she couldn’t read his thoughts either, she knew that it was true. She knew it because she was feeling the same way.

Slowly, Oliver went down on his knees. He sat back on his thighs and let himself fall back, so his back pressed into the fluffy carpet. She was sitting in his lap, her chest pressed to his. She was chasing his lips. Right now, it would be so easy to reach for his cock, place it at her entrance and slide down onto him until he was seated deep inside of her. Felicity could feel that Oliver had different plans though.

Indeed, Oliver turned her around just then. Her back rested back in the carpet. If it wasn’t for the arousing feeling of having all of Oliver’s body pressed against hers, she’d probably giggle from the ticklish feeling of the carpet. Instead she moaned at the way Oliver moved on top of her and tightened the hold of her legs on his hips.

It didn’t help to hold him in place though. Wiggling his hips a little to make her ease her grip on them, he shifted down a little. His lips parted from hers, taking down a path over her chin and jaw to the side of her neck. He nibbled at her sensitive skin, letting his teeth scrape over it teasingly. Felicity moaned in response, arching her back as much as Oliver’s weight pressing down on her allowed it. Her need for him grew even more.

When Oliver reached her pulse point, he pressed his flat tongue against it. The rough top of it moved back and forth against her skin. She could feel his lips twitching into a soft smile as he could feel the uneven rhythm of her heartbeat against his tongue. The thought made a jolt of pleasure running through her core. Her walls clamped down on emptiness, the need to have him fill her multiplying a lot.

Oliver seemed to sense it. His eyes opened, and he looked up at her face for a moment. His iris was darkened, and his pupils blown wide. Desire and need were written all over his face. It made Felicity’s lips prickle in the best way possible. They were burning to feel Oliver’s lips brushed against them once more.

She could see him struggling there for a moment. He had the same desire to kiss her again. The plan he had made for their first night as a married couple was different though. Being the good man, he was, he followed his plan instead of straying away from the path he had planned.

He continued kissing a path down her body. He used his lips, teeth and tongue to stimulate her, and it worked the best it possibly could. As he reached the valley between her breasts, he shot another look at her face. She could see the deliberating expression in his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick a short stripe along the side of her breast. When she shook her head, he just winked at her and continued kissing down her body.

Felicity sighed contently and closed her eyes, just enjoying the way Oliver worshipped her body. Goosebumps spread all over her skin because she could feel exactly how much he enjoyed to brush his lips against every inch of her skin and letting his tongue taste her skin. She could lie here forever, just feeling how Oliver explored her like he wanted to memorize every inch of her body.

When his tongue dipped into her belly button, Felicity chuckled. Her body was squirming beneath him as much as his weight pressing her into the carpet allowed it. Oliver smirked at her amusedly, resting his cheek against the bone of her hip and just watching her face. Felicity smiled. She put her hand to his cheek and stroked her fingertips through the short stubble slowly.

Once more it hit her how much she loved Oliver. A part of her felt like it should be impossible to love someone this much. Her love for him filled every cell of her. It filled her body, embracing her in this warm and comfortable feeling which was nice apart from the slight fear that it might one day suffocate her. Her heart was rumbling in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She felt like an addict, looking at a drug that could either make them incredibly high or kill them.

Felicity knew that it should scare her, but her love for this one man who had always been a part of her life and always would be left no room for any fear. If she died now, she’d die the happiest she had ever been.

The thought made the smile on Felicity’s lips widen. Oliver winked at her in response. Without breaking the lock of their eyes, he moved down her body a little bit more. Slowly, he lifted her right leg and placed it over her shoulder. With his eyes still on hers, her turned his head slightly and brushed a gentle kiss to the inside of her thigh. Felicity sighed, her hips squirming.

With the same slowness, he lifted her left leg and pushed it over her shoulders. His right hand came to rest on top of her thigh. He put his left arm over her hips, pushing her hips down to stop them from squirming. Felicity groaned with frustration, letting her head fall back into the pillow behind her. The feeling of Oliver’s hot breath against her wetness was maddening. She could almost feel his scratchy stubble brushing against her folds.

“Felicity, look at me.”

Oliver’s voice was hoarse, his need for her audible in it. Felicity had to bite down on her tongue hard to follow his instructions. She lifted her head from the pillow slightly and opened her eyes. The way Oliver looked at her, the expression in his eyes almost hazy like he was just as high from breathing her in as she was from the way he had kissed her before.

Felicity was still distracted from the intensity of Oliver’s gaze on her face when he suddenly leaned forward and closed his lips around her opening. She gasped for breath. Her legs moved together, causing her thighs to grab his head in a tight grip. Her back tried to arched off the carpet to press her center even more into Oliver’s face, but his arm on her hips was too strong. It kept her pinned down to the floor.

Felicity didn’t doubt that Oliver was really making this about her. With the way he licked her, circling her opening with the tip of his tongue, Felicity felt her arousal increasing quickly. It was maddening to have him tease like that, especially since she couldn’t move to get his tongue where she wanted and needed it the most. She wasn’t sure if her frustration or her pleasure was taking over. It was a mixture of both which only made it more arousing.

When Oliver’s tongue dipped into her core, Felicity buried one hand in Oliver’s hair. She pulled at the strands of his hair, pulling him closer to the juncture of her legs. The delicious feeling of his stubble scratching her tender skin made her breath quicken even more. She was panting so wildly that her chest was burning from the pain it made her feel. Her fingernails dug into his forearm as she used it to anchor herself to him.

Slowly, Oliver started thrusting his tongue in and out of her. A long moan fell from Felicity’s lips. She was so sensitive for Oliver that she could feel the rough top of his tongue stroking against her slick walls that were clenching down on his tongue. Oliver let the thrusts of his tongue adapt the rhythm of her center’s clenching. He really was as good as a god at this.

As Oliver continued to treat her in this perfect way, Felicity couldn’t help but moan out again and again. The sounds of pleasure filled their hotel suite, and they seemed to spurn Oliver on even more. His fingers tightened around her thigh, holding onto her more tightly, and he quickened the rhythm of his tongue.

Soon, Felicity felt herself drawn to the edge. She could feel herself incredibly close to the edge of her pleasure. Her breath was growing shorter with each stroke of Oliver’s tongue in her sex, and her fingernails were digging so deep into the skin of his forearms that she was sure she was leaving red marks all over his skin.

Eventually, Felicity’s breathing got so fast that she felt like the oxygen barely reached her body. It filled her lungs for a split second before it left her body already. Oliver didn’t miss her growing need to be pushed over the edge. He thrust his tongue into her tight channel one more time before he pulled her tongue out and licked a long stripe to her clit. He rubbed the underside of his tongue against the sensitive nubbin slowly a couple of times.

It was just what Felicity needed. Her moans became high-pitched, and as the third moan escaped her lips, she felt the pleasure rushing through her veins. Her muscles spasmed involuntarily, and a wonderful feeing of utter content spread inside of her. Oliver eased the grip of his arm on her hips, finally allowing her to move her hips the way she wanted to. They thrust against his lips in a slow rhythm, trying to get the most of her pleasure.

While those soft waves continued to run through her body, Oliver kept moving his tongue against her sex. The force with which the pleasure rushed through her decreased eventually. The tight grip her hands had used on his hair eased. She loosened her fingers, letting go of his hair to brush her fingertips over his scalp instead.

Eventually, Oliver brushed a last kiss to Felicity’s peck, almost pecking it like he pecked her lips briefly when he was leaving to go grocery shopping or when he was reaching past her to grab something from a cupboard. The thought made Felicity smile at Oliver when he opened his eyes.

For a moment, neither of them said a word or moved. They just stayed like that with his head resting between her legs and her fingers playing with his hair. Felicity had never felt so comfortable while she was sprawled out nakedly. Even though the only light in the room came from the fire in the fireplace, she knew that there was no hiding. She didn’t mind though. She knew that Oliver knew every little wrinkle and every little edge of her body, and he loved them.

As if he could read her thoughts, Oliver propped himself up onto his forearms. He peppered a long trail up her body, kissing all the curves Felicity had needed a long time to accept, before he eventually reached her lips. His face hovered right over hers for a long moment, his eyes stayed locked on hers.

“Hi,” Felicity whispered with a smile.

“Hi.”

Oliver smiled back at her. His thumb brushed against the corner of her lips gently before he lowered his face and captured her lips in another kiss. His tongue stroked into her mouth, and Felicity could taste herself on his lips. The arousing thought of where his tongue had been busy a couple of minutes ago made her back arch off the bed. It caused her nipples to graze against Oliver’s chest, triggering Oliver to finally resting his body down on top of hers.

A strangled moan fell from Felicity’s lips, and Oliver swallowed it eagerly. He scraped his front teeth against her bottom lip and pushed his right arm beneath her body to pull her even closer to him. She could feel every single one of his muscles pressed against her body. It felt incredibly good. When she shifted her hips slightly, she felt his cock between her wet and still so sensitive folds. He was hot and hard as he rested against her center, tempting her to just rub herself against him, so she could feel as great as she had felt some minutes ago.

Sighing contently at the memory, Felicity put her hands to Oliver’s broad back and stroked her palms over his skin. It felt so soft despite the tight muscles beneath. She ran her hands down his back slowly, exploring every muscle she felt working as Oliver was thrusting his hips against hers in a slow rhythm. When her fingertips danced along the end of his spine, Felicity felt him groan in response. The words vibrated through his chest and were echoed in hers. His hips almost stuttered a little as the sensation made him lose his rhythm.

Soon, Oliver broke the kiss to prop himself up onto his forearm one more. He brushed the knuckles of his free hand against her cheekbone before he pushed it between their bodies. Taking hold of his cock, he positioned it at her entrance. His eyes locked on hers, his gaze intense, when he started to push in slowly.

Felicity’s breath got strangled in her throat though she wasn’t sure if it was from the delicious friction his cock created thrusting into her sensitive core or from the intense feeling of his eyes locked with hers. She felt like Oliver consumed everything around her and everything inside of her. It was intense, more than intense. Felicity wasn’t sure if there was a fitting word for that.

When his cock was seated deep inside of her, Oliver stilled, giving both of them the time they needed to adjust. Buried so deep inside of her core, Felicity felt her walls fluttering around his length already. They were stretched around him, holding him in a tight grip that had to be just as stimulating for her as it was for him.

Felicity lifted her hands and cupped his cheeks. Her fingertips moved through his stubble for a while. The tingling in her core grew quickly though, and she knew that she really needed Oliver to start moving. Moving her fingers into his hair, she pulled him down towards her. Their lips met in a slow kiss. Oliver synched the thrusts of his hips with the thrust of his tongue.

It still surprised Felicity to know how crazy she and Oliver could be for each other and how they could still take their time when they had sex. Everything inside of her was screaming to move things along. She wanted to hear his hips slapping against hers as he pounded into her, and she wanted to feel every cell of her skin on fire while she was chasing towards her release. Still, here they were, trying to prolong this as much as possible. Neither of them wanted it to end too soon.

They moved like that for a long time. It was an almost lazy rhythm. Their hips were moving together in a never-changing movement. Their lips continued brushing together in kisses that were as lazy as the thrust of their hips.

Felicity felt her pleasure increasing slowly. There was no whirlwind of emotions taking her with her. It was more like a warm summer breeze, making her pleasure grow steadily. Her skin started prickling, goosebumps spreading everywhere Oliver touched her.

Digging her front teeth into Oliver’s bottom lip slightly. Although she had never done that to give him a sign, Oliver understood it immediately. He stroked the tip of his tongue against the roof of her mouth before he pulled apart. His eyes locked with hers immediately, and Felicity felt her heart stopping in her chest at the expression she saw there. Oliver’s eyes were darkened from lust. Just like her, he was barely holding onto a thread now.

Slowly, Oliver’s hips picked up pace. His thrusts grew harder, causing his hips to snap into hers. Felicity spread her legs a little more. The new position allowed Oliver to go deeper. His pubic bone rubbed harder against her clit. Felicity moaned in response.

The sounds of sex filled the room. Their sweat could be smelled, and Felicity was almost sure that she could also taste it on Oliver’s lips if she kissed him again now. Instead of doing so, she continued focusing on his eyes. She wanted to see how the feeling of burying himself inside of her again and again drove him to the edge until he lost himself inside of her completely.

Soon, Oliver’s breathing had become erratic. She could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, and her heart was stumbling in her chest for a moment until it had adapted to the rhythm of his. Completely in synch with each other, they chased towards their relief.

With one final thrust, they came together. Felicity’s back arched off the carpet, her hips pushing against Oliver’s cock as the pleasure ran through her body like a wildfire spread in a forest. It was breathtaking and all-consuming. Felicity felt the need to close her eyes and focus just on herself, but she was unable to do so. Oliver’s gaze held her captive, giving her no possibility to decide for herself.

They kept moving together while the waves of pleasure were running through their bodies. Their hips thrust together lazily. The forceful waves turned into soft trembles. The reality around them came back to their conscience.

Felicity moved her hand into Oliver’s hair once more and pulled his face down to hers. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. They both groaned into it in unison when he pulled out of her. The loss of contact almost felt uncomfortable now.

Rolling himself onto his back, Oliver tightened his arms around Felicity and took her with him, so she was lying on top of his chest. With a sigh, she rested her head on top of his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. It was pounding wildly at first, beating in an uneven rhythm that made it sound like his heart was stumbling. The more deep breaths Oliver took, the more his heartbeat calmed down though.

They lay in silence like that for a long time. Felicity’s lids grew more and more heavy, but she fought the urge to close her eyes. She didn’t want to fall asleep, at least not yet. She wanted to stay awake and enjoy the closeness to Oliver for a little longer.

They had been together for a couple of weeks now. Felicity had grown somewhat used to the fact that Oliver was her boyfriend. She had always felt utterly comfortable around him, so that had never been the problem. Just acknowledging the official side of the shift in their relationship had been something she had needed to get used to at first.

Now that Oliver was her husband, she felt like she had to start all over again.

Felicity couldn’t prevent a smile from spreading on her lips as it hit her once more. Olive really was her husband now. After all the years she had seen herself as his best friend that was almost like a sister to him, she was now his wife. Nothing had ever felt more right to her. She finally was where she belonged, in Oliver’s arms.

Carefully, Oliver turned onto his side, once more taking her with him. He rested her on the fluffy carpet comfortably. Tightening his arms around her body for a moment, he brushed a gentle kiss against her forehead.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

Felicity sighed contently, nodding her head. Oliver kissed the tip of her nose. Then he rolled away and got up. Smiling, Felicity propped up her head on her hand, watching Oliver stroll over to the bathroom in all his naked glory. If she wasn’t still so wet from their lovemaking, she was sure that she’d get wet now that she saw him walking around with bare body like it was the most normal thing to do.

At the door, Oliver turned around to wink at her before he disappeared into the bathroom. An exhausted sigh fell from Felicity’s lips, and she rested her head on her arm, closing her eyes. It was so easy to drift off into sleep now, but she really didn’t want. At least not yet.

Just when Felicity opened her eyes, the door to the bathroom opened and Oliver stepped back inside of the living room. He was holding a wet washcloth in his hand and had put a towel over his shoulder. He smiled at her when he caught her gaze, infecting her immediately. When Oliver kneeled down next to her legs, Felicity perked up an eyebrow. Oliver just winked at her once more.

With a gentle hand at the back of her knee, Oliver lifted her leg. His eyes flashed to her face briefly before he wiped the wet washing cloth over her sex. As much as Felicity tried not to, she moaned at the feeling. She was still so sensitive after the pleasure Oliver made her feel that the feeling of having him clean her up from the remains of their sex only made her want him more.

Oliver’s eyes met hers, and she could arousal glimpsing in his eyes too. He leaned forward and brushed a kiss to the inside of her knees. His lips were so soft against her tender skin when they slowly moved up her leg. Before he could reach even the middle of her thigh, Felicity put her foot to his shoulder and pushed him away.

Smirking, Oliver perked up his eyebrows. The push of her foot wasn’t particularly strong, but Oliver let himself be pushed away nonetheless. He grabbed her foot from his shoulder and massaged it.

“Give me a couple of minutes,” Felicity asked, putting a hand on her belly and stroked it over it. “Half of mama’s energy goes into growing this little nugget here.”

Warmth and an unfathomably deep love glanced in Oliver’s eyes at the mention of their unborn baby. His eyes took in Felicity’s hand as it was still rubbing her flat stomach. As soon as he had put her foot back down to the carpet, he rested one hand on each side of her legs and crawled up her body slowly. He peppered some kisses on her skin.

When he reached her belly, he kissed the back of her hand that was resting there. Felicity smiled, making room for his lips to kiss the spot where their baby was growing. She knew it was what he wanted to so, so she stroked her fingers into his hair, scratching her fingernails against his scalp gently to encourage him.

Oliver lowered his face and brushed his lips against her stomach. There was something so lovely about the touch, almost like she could feel how precious he was holding their baby already, that it caused goosebumps to spread on her skin. She smiled, watching while he was cherishing her belly with his lips.

Her own father hadn’t left her with the best experience with fathers. If Oliver was anything like his father, Felicity knew that her baby couldn’t possibly have any better dad to help raise him or her. The Queen Men carried really good DNA when it came to father qualities.

Felicity felt Oliver smile against her stomach for a moment. She expected him to lift his gaze and smile at her lovingly, sharing this moment with her. Instead, he continued to move his lips against her stomach. Frowning slightly, Felicity watched him.

“What are you doing?”

Oliver’s lips formed to a smile against her stomach before he placed one last kiss to it. Propping himself up onto his hands, he moved up completely and lowered himself on top of her. He pushed his arms beneath her body and rolled them onto his side. His chest nestled against the crown of her head when he reached down and pulled a blanket over their entangled, naked bodies.

Still frowning, Felicity angled her head back to look at Oliver’s face. He looked at her with innocent eyes, but Felicity knew better than that. She knew what she had seen before.

“Are you two keeping secrets from me already?”

Oliver grinned. “Just a tiny one.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him ad poked her forefinger against his chest. Oliver looked down at it, pretending to be offended. He could barely hide his amusement though.

“Careful, Mister,” she told him, “Or I am going to run away from you before you can say ‘secret’.”

“Let me just be all corny here,” Oliver suggested with the widest smile on his lips, tightening his arms around her, “and say that I will never let you go away again.”

As much as Felicity wanted to tease him about being corny, she just couldn’t find it in her. She couldn’t even pretend to laugh about his corniness because she did find it kind of sweet to be honest. She blamed it on the hormones.

“Good thing I am not planning on going away again,” Felicity replied, rubbing her hand over his heart. “I will always be with you.”

Smiling, Oliver closed the distance between their lips. His lips brushed against hers gently before his tongue stroked against her bottom lip. With a low sigh, she opened up to him. Their tongues moved together in a dance that already felt as familiar as if they had been dancing it for dozens of years.

Felicity sighed against Oliver’s lips contently before she pulled away and smiled at Oliver. He looked about as content as she was feeling. Stroking his hands up and down her naked back, he let his forehead lean against hers. She could feel his breath ghosting over her skin, and made her smile even more.

They were still smiling at each other lovingly when a glimpse of light at the edge of her visual field caught her attention. She lowered her eyes to see that a flicker of the fire had been reflected by her ring. She turned in Oliver’s arms slightly, so she was almost lying on her back. Lifting her hand in front of her eyes, she took in the ring he had put there a few hours ago.

“As this ring has no end, my love is also forever,” Felicity whispered, remembering the words they had said to each other at the chapel. With her hand still in front of her eyes, she turned her head to look at Oliver. “I know we were supposed to repeat those words after Mr. Griffith, but I mean it. My love for you is forever.”

She could see the same process of thinking Felicity had been going through seconds ago cross his mind. He wanted to say something to tease her because that was who they usually were. They loved teasing each other. Tonight, they just couldn’t do that. Tonight, everything was different.

Oliver opened his lips like he wanted to reply, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat. Tears welled in his eyes, and a strangled sound fell from his lips. Quickly, Felicity framed his face with her hands and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. She didn’t need him to say the words to know that he felt them too.

They had found the fullest of happiness with each other. There was no doubt about that, whether those words were said or not. The very fact that Oliver wasn’t able to say those words right now because hearing her say them meant too much to him to accept it without feeling all the emotions they created proved that to Felicity. She knew Oliver better than anyone, so she knew that the reason he couldn’t reply wasn’t a lack of feelings. It was that he was feeling too much.

“I love you,” Oliver whispered against her lips. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He continued to whisper the words against her lips again and again. Felicity felt like, even if she never got a drop of water or a bite of food again, those words would be enough for her to live by. They were all she really needed. They gave her the energy she really needed.

Deepening the kiss with Oliver, Felicity rolled on top of him. It was time to unite and celebrate being together once more.

 

* * *

 

Leaning into the frame of the door with his hands pushed into the pockets of his pants, Oliver watched Felicity, his wife, teaching a young girl some easy computer hack. She was visibly enjoying this as she was smiling happily at the girl, who seemed to enjoy Felicity’s teaching as much as she did.

His wife. Oliver let the words run through his mind once more. Whenever he had thought about them these last couple of days since they had gotten married, he had felt an indescribable joy in the center of his chest. That still hadn’t changed as he still hadn’t gotten used to the thought. He doubted that he would ever get used to the thought that he had managed to convince Felicity, the smartest and most beautiful and without any doubt most generous person in the world, agree to be his wife.

Seeing her here at The Geek Squad, a place he had designed with her in mind, he couldn’t help but fall all the more in love with her. She belonged here even more than he did because she understood the meaning of this place more than anyone else. If it hadn’t been for his family that had taken her and Donna in, she would have needed a place like this too to be where she was now. At least she thought that way.

Oliver had always known that, if Felicity was ever going to find out about this place, she was going to make it even greater. She had given him the motivation to start it, and she had given him the will to make this a good place for young girls with talents to turn to. Unlike her, he didn’t really know what exactly these girls needed and what other offers this place should hold to be even more helpful for girls that were interested in STEM.

This morning, when they had had breakfast, he had told her that he wanted to go to the Geek Squad and see if everything was alright there. With everything that had happened these last few weeks – the confusing process of thinking he had gone through after sleeping with Felicity, his wedding with McKenna being called off, waiting impatiently for that date with Felicity, learning that she was pregnant, getting used to being together and getting married – he hadn’t had much time for this place. He had felt guilty for not coming by sooner, so he had wanted to use this chance to make sure everything was alright before The Geek Squad was going to be closed for two weeks during the holiday break.

Felicity, who had been torn between eating her breakfast and denying it as she knew that she would throw it up later anyway, had put her fork down and folded her arms on the edge of the tabletop. Oliver had basically seen that she had wanted to say something, but he had given her the time she had needed to phrase her questions.

The corner of his lips twitched as he remembered how she had asked whether he would mind if she accompanied him to The Geek Squad. After everything they had been through together, she still thought that he could possibly mind spending time with her or sharing his life with her. As sweet as it was, he hoped deep in his heart that, one day, she wouldn’t question that anymore.

When Felicity’s eyes met his, he gestured back over his shoulder to tell her that he was going to go to his office. He had some paperwork to do that he wasn’t really looking forward to, but it needed to be done. Since he intended to spend the evening setting up Christmas and Hanukkah decorations with Felicity, it should be done rather sooner than later.

Felicity nodded her head, telling him that he could leave her alone here, and he winked at her in response before he turned around and headed to his office. Sitting down behind his desk, he pulled the papers close with a sigh. Paperwork really was not his favorite thing to do.

After barely a few minutes, Oliver distracted himself by looking at the photo of him and Felicity. It was still placed at the edge of the desk as it had been since the first day he had come here. Leaning back into his chair with a smile, he grabbed the photo and took a closer look at it.

Looking back, Oliver had no idea how he had been able to miss how much he loved Felicity. All this time that they had been friends, he had always felt closer to her than he had felt to anyone else. Her opinion hat always meant more to him that anything anyone else could have told him. She had always been the most important person in his life, and he must have been incredibly stupid to not see that sooner.

When a knock at the door, Oliver lifted his gaze without putting the photo again.

“Come in.”

Felicity stuck her head in, smiling at him. “Did I bother you?”

“You could never bother me.”

His words made Felicity smile. She stepped into his office quickly and closed the door behind her. With only a couple of steps, she stepped behind him and put her hands onto his shoulders, massaging the tight knots out of his muscles. Her lips brushed against his temple.

“What is my hard-working husband thinking about?”

Oliver could feel her smile against his skin. She placed another kiss on his temple where she knew his headache always started first. With her at his side, he knew that he wouldn’t have any headache today.

“How lucky I am that I noticed who held the key to my happiness just in time,” Oliver replied. He grabbed her hand from his shoulder and placed a kiss into the palm of her hand. “And how lucky I am that you allowed me to become a part of your life although it took me so long.”

Felicity stopped massaging his shoulders. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind and snuggled her face against his cheek. Oliver smiled, leaning his face into her touch and stroking her hands up and down her forearms.

“I knew that you held the key to my happiness as much as I was holding the key to yours. You were my best shot of finally being happy.”

“And you are?”

Felicity chuckled. “Do you really have to ask that?”

No, Oliver thought to himself, he really didn’t have to ask that. He knew that Felicity was as happy as he was. She was telling him every day when they woke up together in their bed or when they were doing the dishes together after breakfast or even when they were just driving to work together. They both were as happy as they could possibly be, just because they were together.

Taking his silence as the answer it was supposed to be, Felicity kissed Oliver’s cheek and nodded her chin at one of the papers on his desk.

“What are you working on?”

Oliver hummed. “I am thinking on expanding this project a little.”

“Like a second location?”

“No, not yet,” Oliver replied though that had been on his mind already. “A second location would probably mean that press would finally get involved, and I am not ready to share this little secret with anyone but you. At least not yet.”

Again, he could feel her smile. She enjoyed the fact that he trusted her and only her with this little project. It gave him the courage he needed to say what he was actually planning on doing here.

“I want to expand the possibilities that are offered here,” Oliver explained. “So, what do you think this place needs?”

He could feel her tensing slightly. She tried to hide it by brushing another kiss against his temple, but the muscles of her arms stayed a little tenser than they had been before. Oliver rubbed his hands up and down her forearms, soothing her. She had no reason to be nervous.

“This is your baby, Oliver,” she said. “I don’t want to interfere.”

Without any hesitation, Oliver pulled at her hand until Felicity was walking around his chair and sat down on his lap. Wrapping his arms around her waist tightly, he leaned back in his chair and made Felicity rest against his chest with a sigh. It took another moment until she finally relaxed fully, releasing a sigh.

“I want you to interfere, Felicity,” Oliver told her firmly. “I want you to interfere in every part of my life in every way possible because you are part of it now too.”

Not saying a word yet, Felicity just looked at him. She lifted her hand and stroked her fingertips from his temple of his cheek and lips to his chin. Spreading her fingers, she stroked the tips of them through his stubble now. Oliver, unable to bite it back, released a low hum at the feeling.

“This still feels like a dream.”

Felicity’s whispered words touched his heart in a way only she was able to do. He knew what she meant. Everyday, he woke up and saw her lying next to him, he wondered if he was just dreaming too. More than once, he had caught himself twitching his arm firmly to make sure that he really was awake and all of this was real.

“This is our life now,” he told her gently, reminding himself of that as he did so. “We are together. We are married. We are having a baby.”

Saying those last words, he put his hand to her belly that was still not really there yet. Felicity claimed that she could already see it, saying she was the one who knew her body best after all. While Oliver hadn’t fought her on that, he had gotten to know her body quite thoroughly these last weeks, and he could swear that her belly was still unchanged. Nobody but her could see that she was growing their baby there.

Felicity lowered her eyes to his hand on her belly for a moment before she rested her own hand over his. Her eyes met his, and they both smiled at each other contently.

“Still feels like a dream,” she whispered nonetheless.

Oliver couldn’t help but smile. They would both need some more time before they really got that this was their reality. Luckily, they had all the time in the world.

Moving his free hand up her back and into her hair, he pulled her head down to brush a kiss against her lips. With a low sigh, she opened her lips to the touch of his tongue, and he stroked his tongue against hers gently. Trying the taste of her kisses still drove him mad in the best way every single time.

When they broke the kiss, Oliver leaned his head back against the headrest of his chair. Felicity, who was still leaning against his chest, smiled and brushed her fingertips through his short stubble once more. Oliver smiled at her contently, feeling like he could forget time and space as well as everything else around them, as long as they could just stay like this.

“It will be different when we tell our mothers by the way.”

Felicity’s fingers stilled, and her face showed a mixture of panic and disgust. Telling their mothers or anyone about their little secret seemed not to sit well with her. Oliver understood exactly where those reactions came from as he wasn’t really looking forward to it either. As much as he knew that sharing their secret would help making it more real, he also knew that making it real could lead to people getting hurt. As long as they were living their little dream here, there couldn’t be any broken hearts. This was a dream and not a nightmare after all.

“It will turn from a dream into a nightmare then,” Felicity said with a groan and let her head fall against her shoulder. “They will start annoying us with all the plans they have for our future like they did all those years that we have been friends but weren’t together.”

“Maybe they will-“

When Felicity lifted her head from his shoulder and threw him an annoyed gaze, Oliver swallowed all the words that had been on the tip of his tongue. Felicity was right after all. Their mothers would annoy them by telling them that they could never break up – which they didn’t intend to do anyway – and by giving them all kinds of advice when it came to raising their baby. They would have to kindly but firmly deny their advice as Oliver knew that he and Felicity would find their own way to raise their child.

“Yeah, they will be annoying,” Oliver agreed and kissed the tip of her nose, “but we will get through it together. We will stand through everything together from now on.”

His words made Felicity smile, and she leaned in to capture his lips in a gentle kiss that seemed to play with Oliver’s heartstrings in the best way.

Before Oliver could deepen the kiss, as he wanted to, a knock at the door made them pull apart with a sigh. They barely ever had the chance to be uninterrupted, unless they were at home. It really was maddening. Oliver tucked a strand of hair out of Felicity’s face and put it behind her ear, smiling at her apologetically.

“Come on in,” he asked then.

The moment the door opened and Carried stepped into the small office Oliver regretted asking her in. He should have ignored the knock at the door and continued kissing Felicity instead. It would have definitely been a lot more fun for him.

Looking at Carrie, Oliver couldn’t help but think that maybe there was some fun about inviting her in while Felicity was still sitting in his lap after all. He didn’t miss the slightly bitter expression in Carrie’s face or the way she had to bite her tongue at what she was seeing.

Considering that the first time he had kissed Felicity, prompting him to first believe that something between him and Felicity might not be as right as it should be, had been to chase Carrie away, it felt fitting that she was one of the first people to see them married. A part of him felt like he might have to thank her for how much she had been annoying him all these months since she started working here. Otherwise, he might have never crossed that big red border of friendship and kissed Felicity.

“Carrie,” Felicity said before Oliver was able to talk and resumed to stroke he fingertips through his stubble. “How can my husband and I help you?”

Carrie’s eyes almost spit fire at Felicity, but she knew better than to voice any of the thoughts that were probably on her mind right now. She knew that Oliver would get her fired if she said any wrong word. If it came to people hurting Felicity, he was incredibly short of patience. He already knew that much, and he doubted anyone would miss that.

“I actually need Oliver’s help with something.”

“Oh, really?” Felicity replied, once more reacting much faster than he would be able to. “I think Oliver has some paperwork to do here, and will be busy for a while. I am sure I can help you.”

Carrie didn’t seem exactly pleased by the thought. She looked like she wanted to jump at Felicity’s throat and start a catfight. Oliver almost lost his face and chuckled at the thought, but he quickly hid it behind a harrumph. The brief glance Felicity shot him was enough for him to know that she had caught him though.

“My wife is right,” Oliver said quickly, looking at Carrie. “I am busy here. Felicity is going to help you. She can make every decision necessary. Just give us another minute please. We have some things to do here first.”

Carrie seemed anything but happy with the answer. She clenched her teeth firmly and forced herself to smile though. She just knew better than to fight with Oliver on this, knowing that he had the longer breath.

“Alright, Mr. Smoak,” she said. “Mrs. Smoak.”

Felicity lifted a hand and waved at Carrie briefly, still moving her other fingers through his stubble. As soon as the door was closed and they were alone again, she slapped his cheek playfully though.

“What was that?”

Oliver did his best to frown. He grabbed Felicity’s hand and stroked it up and down his cheek like he needed her touch to soothe the pain of her slap.

“That,” she told him firmly and poked her forefinger against his chest, “was for imaging Carrie and me in the middle of a catfight.”

Oliver knew better than to ask her how she knew about that. He just shook his head and chuckled. He would have to deal with the fact that his wife could read all his thoughts because she just knew him so well. From now on, there was always one person that he couldn’t have a secret from.

“Okay, that was deserved,” he admitted. “Do I still get a kiss for doing my best to hide it?”

He puckered his lips which was easier said than done given the way Felicity cocked her head at him. He could see how torn she was between continuing with her played anger or giving into her own wish to kiss him. At the end, the latter won though.

Felicity cupped his chin and angled his head a little more backwards. Leaning down, she placed a firm kiss to his lips then. When Oliver moved his tongue against her bottom lip, she sighed and melted against him completely.

For the break of a second, Oliver wondered if he would ever get used to kissing Felicity and if kissing her would ever stop to make him feel this great. He doubted that it would ever become a routine though, and he felt lucky about that. Kissing her should always feel this extraordinary.

“Well,” Felicity said, slapping his cheek playfully once more, “I will go and find out what Carrie wanted you to do with- no, sorry, for her now.”

Oliver chuckled. “Don’t be too hard on her. I am irresistible as you know.”

“Don’t worry,” Felicity replied and leaned in close, looking him straight in the eyes, “once I have clawed out the eyes of the first girl looking at you the wrong way, everyone else will back off.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows in surprise. “I didn’t think you were the jealous type.”

“I wasn’t,” Felicity admitted lightly, getting up from his lap and walking to the door, “but then you knocked me up and put this ring on my finger, and I am a changed person.”

Grinning, Oliver nodded his head. “Makes sense.”

Felicity opened the door and stepped out. Before she left, she stuck her head back in though.

“And for the record,” she whispered, “if you ever look at a woman the wrong way, I am going to cut off your family jewels.”

Oliver knew he should be scared because he didn’t doubt that Felicity was able to do that. Since he hadn’t had eyes for any other woman since he had finally allowed himself to realize how lost his heart was to her already, he knew it would never come to that though.

“I love you,” he said with a smile, “and I am all yours.”

Felicity smiled, winking at him. “Good for your family jewels.”


	21. Ya'aburnee

_=The desire to die before another person because of how unbearable it would be to learn of their death (Arabic)_

“Are you coming, or what?”

With held breath and wildly beating heart, Oliver watched Felicity as she had almost reached the top of the ladder. Since she had run towards the ladder and started climbing it like they were still six years old and had no fear of falling or anything really, he had been holding his breath and just waited for her to reach the end of the ladder safely. He was sure that, once she had reached the small front porch of their tree house, he would relax a little more. Well, or at least he hoped so.

“I am just waiting here until you have gotten onto safe ground.”

Instead of continuing to climb up the ladder, Felicity stilled which really didn’t help Oliver to relay at all. She angled her head back over her shoulder and looked at him. Her smile was almost a little mocking, and she let one of her hands go of the ladder, leaning back instead. Oliver knew that she was just doing so to tease him, and he tried his best not to make her see how much it affected him. He doubted that he was successful though.

Really?” she asked, perking up a doubtful eyebrow. “There was a time that you couldn’t wait to chase after me to see who would make it up here first. I think you almost threw me down the ladder years ago.”

“Possibly.”

Oliver’s reply was elusive although he remembered the incident clearly. He had come quite close to throwing Felicity off the ladder by accident. He had wanted to get to their treehouse before her, so he had wanted to pass her in the middle of the ladder by just climbing through her. His movements had almost made her slip and fall don several feet onto the ground though, so he had never intended of trying it again.

“What, you are really just going to stand there and wait for me to arrive at the top?”

Oliver puckered his lips. He could hear that she was trying to challenge him as challenging had always been half of what their friendship had been about. They had challenged each other to do the stupidest things, just so they could tease each other with it. It had always been a lot of fun. He couldn’t deny that there were much more important things to him now that she was his wife and carrying their baby though,

“Hey, your pregnancy and our marriage turned you into a woman who wants to claw out other women’s eyes because of jealousy,” he reminded her of the conversation they had had five days ago at The Geek Squad, “so you can hardly blame me for turning into a person who wants to make sure their his wife and unborn baby are safe.”

Felicity’s lips twitched up into a smile. She looked at him with so much love in her gaze that it almost took his breath away in an entirely different way than her risky climb had managed him to do. He knew that she understood him, and he didn’t even have to tell her all the reasons why it was important to him that she was getting up to their treehouse safely.

“Just for the record,” Felicity said, “if I were to slip and threatened to fall down-“

“I would catch you,” Oliver replied immediately. “You can just fall down. I am here.”

Instead of falling down, Felicity hurried to climb up the rest of the ladder and crawl onto the floor of their treehouse’s front porch quickly though. Letting her shanks dangling from the edge of the wood panels, she cocked her head at Oliver.

“Are you coming now?”

“If you promise not to move,” Oliver asked, “so I don’t feel like I have to catch you because I  can guarantee that I will just let go and let myself fall back, so I can still catch you before you land down there.”

Felicity smiled, amused and enamored at the same measure Oliver guessed. She put a hand onto her heart and mouthed a silent vow then, actually making him agree on following her up the ladder. Still, he hurried up there to make sure that he was there to pull her off the edge of platform if necessary.

By the time he had reached the treehouse, Felicity was still standing at a safe distance to the edge of the platform. Hence, there was no reason for him to safe her. It didn’t stop him from putting his hands to Felicity’s hips and walk her backwards into their treehouse, brushing a kiss against the tip of her nose.

With a content sigh, Felicity wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and leaned back just enough to look at his face. She was smiling happily, infecting Oliver with it easily. If Felicity was happy, there was no reason for him not to be happy.

“So, why did you want to go to our treehouse on Christmas Eve Morning?”

“Christmas Eve Morning,” Felicity whispered, shaking her head. “As someone who was not raised in Christian Belief, I have to tell you that it sounds weird to call it Christmas Eve Morning when the only holiday is Christmas Eve. Like, I am not sure that Christmas Eve Morning is actually a thing.”

“It is for my family,” Oliver replied. “Christmas Eve Morning is always used to set up the tree and put all the gifts under it and build up the Natal Scene.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Can this child please be raised as a part of the Jewish community because your traditions freak me out, and I am saying that as someone who has lived with you and your family for a while.”

Oliver chuckled and pecked her lips. “Whatever you want.”

“Really?” Felicity asked, perking up her eyebrows, and poked her forefinger against his chest. “Be careful what you promise me because I am going to nail you down on it.”

Knowing that she was most likely saying the truth, Oliver made up his mind quickly. Felicity would probably make him adopt a dozen of dogs, tattoo her name on his forehead and run around at their home all day every day for the rest of her life. Especially with the pregnancy, she did have some crazy ideas going through her head currently.

Clearing his throat, he quickly changed the topic. “You didn’t answer my question. What are we doing here?”

When he had woken up this morning, Felicity had already been awake. She had lay beside him, her head propped up onto her hand, while she had been watching him. As soon as he had opened his eyes, she had suggested getting to their treehouse, so they had done so. They had even skipped breakfast as Felicity’s morning sickness had increased through the last days, and she couldn’t get a bite down.

Taking his hand with a smile, Felicity led Oliver over to where they had carved their initials into the wooden panels. _O & F_.

Oliver smiled at the three little signs. Lifting his free hand, he brushed his fingertips against the carved letters and the sign between. _O & F_, Oliver and Felicity. Those two names had never seemed to belong more together than they did right now.

“I think it’s time to follow your granddad’s instruction,” Felicity said with quiet voice and held out a knife for him. “Now, those letters do need that heart around them.”

Oliver felt his heart warming at Felicity’s words. It had been years since they had built this treehouse with is grandfather. Just like he himself, Felicity hadn’t forgotten about any details about it though. She remembered that his grandfather had suggested carving a heart around the letters, but they had both turned that idea down. They had just been friends after all.

Now that they were married, Felicity was right though. That heart really should be there now. Hence, he took the knife from her and started carving that heart. Sappy as he was now that he was a married man, he even added an arrow to go through the heart.

Doing the whole thing barely took some seconds. As soon as it was done, he and Felicity stood back and watched the new carving. Felicity’s arms were wrapped around his waist tightly, while he had put an arm around her shoulders and had rested his chin on the crown of her head.

“All those years ago, who would have thought that we would end up here?” Oliver asked and kissed the crown of Felicity’s head. “Would you have thought, Mrs. Queen-Smoak?”

Felicity angled her head back and smiled at him at the mention of her new surname. It was the first time that he had been able to bring it up naturally since they had been to the Council Courts office yesterday. She looked utter content as being called Mrs. Queen-Smoak, so he guessed that it had been the right decision for her.

“I wouldn’t have,” she admitted. Her smile widened before she asked, “What about you, Mr. Queen-Smoak?”

Oliver chuckled. His arm tightened around Felicity’s shoulders, and he brushed a kiss against her forehead. He loved to hear his name as much as Felicity loved to hear it seemed. Both of them were utterly content with the decision they had made.

Asked about their surname in Las Vegas, they had delayed the decision. They hadn’t wanted to make the wrong choice just because they were in a hurry. Changing your name was a big thing after all.

On their flight back from Las Vegas to Starling City, they had eventually talked this decision out. Oliver had suggested that he would just take hers. After all the months of using the name Smoak at The Geek Squad, he was utterly used and comfortable with it. He wouldn’t mind using it officially in every aspect of his life. After all, he knew that he couldn’t be prouder than to sign any paper possible with Felicity’s family name.

Felicity, on the other hand, had pointed out that they were leading a company called Queen Consolidated after all. It was his father’s legacy, so it would be wrong to change that name. Besides, all the money that would cost would be lost for improving those bio-stimulants. They were already making good process on those, but they needed every penny they could offer to really give people hope that it would work out at the end.

Eventually, they had agreed that taking on each other’s name was the right thing to do. While Smoak-Queen had the better ring to it, with Queen Consolidated there for them to lead, they had eventually decided to take on the name Queen-Smoak.

Oliver Queen-Smoak and Felicity Queen-Smoak. Always and forever.

Still looking at their letters as well as the heart and arrow carved into the wood panels, Oliver tightened his arm around Felicity once more. She angled her head back in response, smiling at him with so much love in her eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered, “and I couldn’t be prouder to call you my husband.”

Oliver’s smile widened even more, and he tightened his arm around her shoulder just a little more. “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

“Just close your eyes.”

With the way his lips brushed against the shell of her ear and his breath ghosted over the side of her face, Felicity couldn’t feel more content. She released a low sigh and let her head drop back against Oliver’s shoulder. Her eyes fluttered shut, and all tension seemed to leave her body. She turned into wax in his arms, and she felt completely at peace by it.

They were lying together on the bed. Felicity was sitting between Oliver’s spread legs. Her feet were hooked under his shanks. Her hands were rested on top of his thighs, massaging small circles into his muscles. She guessed that they were aching after the long run he had gone out for this afternoon. He had been so proud of himself, saying the thought of coming back to her was spurning him oven even more and had helped him to run his usual route even more quickly than he had ever had. It was why this lazy way of spending their first married Christmas Eve just right.

Staying like that, Felicity just enjoyed all the sensations Oliver made her feel. His chest was pressing to her back, warming her skin even through the thick hoodie she was wearing. His arms were wrapped around her, keeping her safe. His hands were moving up and down her stomach, one over and one under the fabric of her hoodie.

This morning, after they had returned from their short trip to the treehouse, it had been the first time that she believed to have seen some change in her body. If she had really focused on her reflection in the mirror, she had been sure that she could see the smallest of a baby bump showing there. Oliver had needed a lot of convincing before he had agreed to it, and Felicity actually believed that he had only given in because he hadn’t wanted to get into a fight with her. Anyway, he had agreed, so Felicity would just nail him down on that.

Lacing her fingers through Oliver’s on her existing or non-existing baby bump, she eventually opened her eyes. Her head turned, so she could look at his face, and she smiled at him softly.

“We have been married for a week,” Felicity whispered. “Can you believe it?”

“I believe that more easily than the fact that we haven’t gotten into a severe fight yet,” Oliver replied and nuzzled her nose with his. His lips brushed against hers briefly. “What does that say about me?”

Felicity smiled. “It says that you know us very well. We are bound to have a severe fight sooner or later. Well, rather sooner than later I guess.”

“We do. Right?”

Oliver’s question or rather the way he scrunched up his nose at the thought that they could be fighting made Felicity chuckle. Of course, with the way things were right now, it seemed impossible that they could get into a fight. Even during their friendship, they had been several moments that could have easily ended up in a terrible fight though. They might get into a fight in their future, but that wouldn’t change the fact that they were utterly in love with each other and that they wouldn’t let anything or anyone get between them.

“I am not worried though,” Felicity replied honestly, squeezing his fingers on her stomach. “We got through two engagements with the wrong people and still found our way to each other. I know that I will never give up on this easily.”

“Neither will I.” Oliver’s smile turned into a grin. “I will just take all the blame and apologize whether it’s my fault or not.”

“See?” Felicity replied and had to bite back a chuckle. “We are good at solving problems. Now you just have to continue taking all the blame for the rest of our lives.”

Oliver nodded. “Done.”

“Good.”

They both chuckled softly before they leaned in. Their lips touched in a gentle kiss, sealing the promise they had just made to each other. They wouldn’t give up easily. If their marriage should ever be at risk, they would fight as much as they could to make it stay away. That was how much they loved each other.

“I don’t regret it at all, you know?” Oliver whispered eventually, leaning his head more against hers. “I know this idea of getting married so quickly and so spontaneously has been crazy, but I am really happy that we decided to do it. I couldn’t be happier.”

“Neither could I be.”

Felicity watched their laced fingers on top of her lower stomach where their baby was growing. In a lot of ways, it still felt incredibly surreal to her. Being married to Oliver, the best friend she had and would ever have was just so weird. It was right in all ways possible, but she knew that she would need a lot more time to get used to it. Right now, she felt like she was floating on her cloud number nine.

It might even take all of her life, but she didn’t mind as she didn’t intend on getting rid of Oliver before that anyway.

“I determined my rental contract,” Oliver said after a moment of pause and placed a gentle kiss to the soft spot under her ear. “By the beginning of February, the loft is up to be rented by someone new. Once we got through the holidays, I will move all the stuff I really need here. The rest will be sold or given away for charity or whatever.”

Again, Felicity smiled and turned her head back too look at Oliver. His face was all relaxed. He looked content at the thought of leaving his loft behind to move into her penthouse. That had to mean a lot considering that a small townhouse like this was not something Oliver had ever seen himself living in. Felicity had to know given how long she knew him already.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I know this wouldn’t have been your first choice, but I am really grateful that you agreed to move here. I really, really love it here.”

“I know.” Oliver kissed the tip of her nose. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed to move in here with you after all.”

Felicity looked at Oliver with slightly narrowed eyes to make her doubt obvious. She really doubted that Oliver would have ever disagreed with living here. If there was one thing that she knew, it was that Oliver had trouble to deny her anything that she wanted. She guessed that she was his weak spot, and he should probably wish for them to have a baby boy. Otherwise, he would be completely lost for the rest of his life.

“I don’t mind where we live,” Oliver told her eventually, shrugging his shoulders slightly, “as long as we live together.”

Again, Felicity smiled. She snuggled back even further into Oliver’s arms and closed her eyes for a moment. She really had no idea how she had been able to get this lucky. Oliver, a man she loved so much that it almost took her breath away, just wanted to be with her. He put back all of his own wishes and dreams to live the life she wanted because she was all that he really wanted to have.

“Once the baby is born, we might need something bigger though,” Oliver whispered into her ear eventually. “There is no real room for a nursery, and this townhouse is a little too small for two people anyway.”

Perking up her eyebrows, Oliver looked at him. “Are you really scared that we will annoy each other to hell and back already?”

Oliver chuckled. “No, I don’t. If it was up to me, we could as well live in a closet. I do know that, if we stay here, we will probably just continue to screwing each other’s brains out though, and we will end up having a dozen of kids within ten years.”

Felicity screwed up her nose. “Ugh.”

“Exactly,” Oliver agreed. “Because how are we going to have sex when we have twelve kids to take care of?”

Whispering those words against her lips, Oliver let his hand move from her lower stomach to the juncture of her legs. His fingers were aiming for her clit and center, willing to make her feel all the pleasure he could make her feel. Quickly, Felicity grabbed his hand and pulled it away though.

“What-?“

“I got you a Christmas present,” Felicity told him and pecked his lips briefly before she rolled onto her side and reached into the topmost drawer of her nightstand. She pulled out the small gift she had wrapped for him and handed it to him. “Merry Christmas, Husband.”

Oliver smiled at her choice of words. He took the gift from her and turned it between his hands that were still resting on the height of her stomach.

“It’s not even Christmas yet.”

Felicity just released a low sound, a mixture of a hum and a sigh. She doubted that she would ever get these Christmas traditions, especially since they seemed to vary so much around the world. In some European countries, she knew that Christmas presents were exchanged during Christmas Eve already. In other countries, gifts weren’t exchanged until early January for whatever reason. It seemed weird that it was different in the US and some other countries too. Shouldn’t it be the same everywhere?

“It’s already Chanukah,” Felicity told him, “so just open it.”

Oliver shot her a brief smile before he started unwrapping the gift. The moment he had turned it, so he could really look what she had gotten from her, an almost teary glance formed in his eyes. Felicity watched the expression of his face changing from joy to an emotion that she didn’t know to name and couldn’t describe and back to utter joy.

When Felicity had thought about what present to get Oliver for this year’s Christmas and Chanukah, the first holiday they celebrated as husband and wife, she had been torn between what to do. In one way, she knew that Oliver appreciated small gestures very much. In the other way, their first holiday as husband and wife had screamed for something fancy and extraordinary.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity looked at the three-piece photo collage she had gotten from him. On the left side, there was a photo of them in Las Vegas after their wedding. They had taken it with their phones, making sure that this moment was secured for eternity. On the right side, two photos were put one below the other. The upper one was an ultrasound picture of their baby. The other was a snippet of their baby’s heartrate, quick but steady.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered, his fingertips brushing against the photo snippet of her face at first and then the ultrasound of their baby. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

Oliver nodded, still unable to take his eyes off those photos. “Yes, absolutely. Everything I hold dear in just frame.”

Felicity smiled. She put her hand to the side of Oliver’s face and stroked them from her temple down his cheek towards his chin. Firming her grip on him there, she turned his face towards him and captured his lips in a kiss.

She already wanted to pull back when Oliver chased her lips and deepened the kiss. His tongue darted out to lick over her bottom lip. With a sigh, she opened her lips to his touch and stroked her tongue against his. Tasting the taste of his tongue on hers made her hips urge back against his. She rubbed her behind against his groin, enjoying the way his lips shifted in response.

“You can ravish me now,” Felicity whispered against his lips before she pressed her lips down on his once more. “That might be your second Christmas gift to unwrap.”

“And I will do so happily,” Oliver replied. His lips brushed against hers once more as his nose nuzzled his. “After you unwrapped your Chanukah gift.”

“My Chanukah gift?”

While Felicity was pulling her bottom lip between her front teeth, Oliver chuckled. He reached his hand into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulled out a small box.

“You didn’t think that I would let you get away without a gift, right?” he asked, dropping it into her lap. “Not on my watch.”

Felicity knew that she shouldn’t feel so touched by Oliver’s words. In all the years that they had been friends, he had always made sure that she got at least one gift for Chanukah, knowing that her father had sometimes pretended to forget about that Chanukah tradition and refusing to give Donna the money she would have needed to buy even a single gift for her daughter.

Since Felicity had been taken on by the Queens as part of the family, she had been spoilt by gifts though. She still remembered the mountains of wrapped up gifts she had received during her first Chanukah in Starling City. Shyly, she had taken one gift and unwrapped it. The roller blades inside had already made her incredibly happy. She couldn’t have wished for more, but Robert had led her back to the gifts, telling her that all of them were for her.

Thinking about it now, Felicity felt tears welling in her eyes. She doubted that anyone who hadn’t gone through something similar could understand what it felt like to be suddenly spoilt like that. She had never had a particularly poor life, but holidays with the Queens, gifts or not, had always felt incredibly special.

“Hey,” Oliver whispered with the lowest of a chuckle. He rested his cheek against hers and tightened his arms around her shoulders. “This was not supposed to make you cry, at least not before you unwrapped it.”

“I know.” Quickly, Felicity wiped her hands under her eyes to dry the tears. “Blame it on the hormones. They make me weak.”

“So weak that you watched all the seasons of Downton Abbey last week.”

“Shhh,” Felicity soothed him, putting her fingers on top of his lips. “I watched that new commercial with the puppy that looks so sad. Everything just went to hell after that. I didn’t even remember who I was.”

“You are Felicity Megan Queen-Smoak,” Oliver reminded her and kissed the tip of her nose. “That is who you are.”

Felicity sighed contently, snuggling back into Oliver’s chest even more. She couldn’t get enough of hearing him say her new name. She felt like every single time he said her name, it helped her to accept this new reality a little more.

“I love the sound of that.”

“So, do I,” Oliver assured her with another whisper into her ear, and he kissed her cheek. “Now let’s unwrap your gift.”

Felicity did as asked of her and started unwrapping her gift. She did so neatly, ripping off every stripe of tape he had used and unfolding the paper her gift was wrapped in slowly. She could feel Oliver’s impatience in the low sighs that fell from his lips. As much as he tried to hold them back, he just couldn’t hide them from her.

When she had unwrapped the small velvet box, she put the paper away and turned her head back to look at Oliver’s face. He was nervous about her reaction. She could see that much. His hands tightened on her hips, and he rubbed his thumbs against her skin in small circles.

“Just open it.”

He just mouthed the words without any sound falling from his lips. He was smiling, but she could still feel that he had to take in deep breaths to even manage that tense smile.

As much as Felicity loved to tease Oliver, she didn’t want to torture him too long. Hence, she quickly followed his suggestion. With a move of her thumbs, she opened the small velvet box. What she saw inside simply took her breath away.

Inside of the velvet box, surrounded by soft lining, a beautiful diamond ring was placed. The thin ring was made of platin. A detail of a collection of twelve small diamonds in various sizes and forms was attached to the top of it, framing the center piece that was built by a square-formed diamond. Felicity stroked her thumb over the precious jewelry. Although they were taking a lot of space on the ring, they weren’t too big. They were just slightly higher than the ring itself.

“I proposed to you so spontaneously that I didn’t have ring,” Oliver said eventually, his voice hoarse. “I couldn’t get you a special wedding band because we got married so quickly, so I thought that I should make good for the lack of an engagement ring by giving you this because I really wanted to give you a special ring like this. I chose this one because it really got character, and it is a little vintage. It even looks close to the one my grandpa gave to my grandma all those years ago. Besides, I figured that it fitted your needs. It’s impressive, I hope, as it sparkles in the right light and it should scare any guy off who thinks it’s okay to flirt with you, but it’s also not big enough to get in the way when you are working. I know that you usually don’t like to wear rings because they annoy you when you are working on your computers. This felt like a compromise between style and practice.”

Listening to Oliver’s words, she couldn’t help but smile even more. He had put so much thought into choosing that ring. He knew her so well that he just knew that she needed something that she could wear during work without getting in the way. As much as he wanted to give her a ring that he thought was worth having, he didn’t want her to feel hampered in her work when she was wearing it.

“You hate it,” Oliver whispered, mistaking her silence for something it wasn’t. “I knew I should have pulled a _Sweet Home Alabama_ and ask you to pick your own wedding ring to make sure that you would really like it. I knew I should have done it, but I decided differently because of my ego or because of- whatever it was, I am so sorry, Felicity. I will just give this back and you will choose a ring that you truly love and-“

Putting her hand to the back of Oliver’s neck, Felicity turned her head once more. She captured Oliver’s lips in a searing kiss. She doubted that it could carry all the love she was feeling for him, but she hoped that it helped him to at least feel a little bit of it. There were no words to say how much she loved him, and there were no words to tell him how grateful he was that he was so considerate of her needs.

Oliver gave into the kiss with a sigh. His grip eased on her hips, and he wrapped his arms back around her waist to hold him as tightly as possible.

“I love it,” Felicity whispered, pulling away just enough to lock eyes with Oliver. “I really love this ring, and I couldn’t possibly wish for anything better.”

“Yeah?”

Relief and utter joy showed on Oliver’s face. She could feel his uneven heartbeat to going back to a rhythmic movement now that this burden was taken from him. His lips pressed against her temple for a moment, and Felicity was almost sure that he needed this moment to recover from the shock he had gone through, thinking she didn’t like the ring at all.

“Yeah,” Felicity just confirmed with a breath whisper. She lifted her left hand that already carried her wedding band and smiled. “Will you slide it on my finger?”

“Gladly.”

Oliver took the velvet box from her and took the ring from it. Slowly, his eyes locked onto Felicity’s, he slid the ring onto her finger until it was placed right in front of her wedding band.

Lifting her hand in front of her face, Felicity looked at the two rings together. They were both quite simple and yet unique. Together, they built an incredibly duo. She couldn’t wish for anything more beautiful, and she knew that they would make a good picture on her hands now that she was going to carry them for the rest of her life.

“I love them,” Felicity whispered and placed a quick kiss to the underside of Oliver’s jaw. “Thank you so much.”

“I am glad you like them,” Oliver just replied and brushed his thumb over the rings on her finger, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. “They do suit you very well.”

Felicity smiled. “It’s a shame that I have to take them off tomorrow morning when we meet our parents at the mansion. Our moms are going to faint if they see the rings.”

The closer the day had come, the more nervous Felicity had started feeling about it. She loved Oliver, and she was happy to share a life with him. As long as it had been a little bit of secret between them, Robert, John and Tatsu, it had been a lot easier though. Once they told their mothers about the relationship they had started and the marriage they had agreed to, it would be a lot more difficult though. Their mothers wouldn’t make it easy for them. Unlike everyone else, they would barge in and try to make decisions for them. It was just who they were.

“Hey,” Oliver whispered, prompting Felicity to turn her head back over her shoulder and look at him once more. “You and me, that is all that counts. We are going to make the decisions for us, our marriage and our baby.”

Felicity nodded, hoping Oliver was right. She knew that it wouldn’t be easy to fight off her mother though Oliver would probably disagree and say that his mom was much more a problem than hers. As long as each of them was keeping their own mom covered, she guessed that it should be alright at the end.

Their lips touched in another kiss. Felicity moved her hand towards the back of Oliver’s neck. She tried to deepen the kiss, but Oliver pulled back slightly.

“Do I get to ravish you now, Mrs. Queen-Smoak?”

“Feel free to do so, Mr. Queen-Smoak.”

Of course Oliver didn’t have to be told twice. Capturing her lips in another kiss, his hand moved between her legs. With slow movements, he stroked his fingers back and forth against her sex over the panties she was wearing. Felicity moaned into the kiss in response, arching her back and digging her fingernails into his skin slightly.

Soft waves of heat were already running through her body. Just the touch of his fingers where she longed for him made her crazy for more already. She couldn’t wait to feel his calloused fingertips thrusting inside of her wet core and his thumb rubbing against her clit. She wanted to fall apart in his arms and feel him catching her while she was falling, knowing that she was safe and sound with him.

“Oliver.”

His name fell from her lips in a desperate whisper, telling him that she just needed more. She knew that he needed more too. With every shift of her hips, moving her sex against his fingers, she could feel his cock hardening more and more. He wanted her as much as she wanted and needed him right now.

Oliver’s hands moved from her sex to her hips. He held onto them firmly and supported her rubbing movements. He thrust up against her ass slightly, and Felicity could feel even more heat forming in the pit of her stomach. Her almost desperate need for Oliver was almost ridiculous given that they were married and expecting a child. She guessed that it didn’t change the fact that they had been together for barely some weeks, so the passion was still running high.

Maybe (hopefully!) that would never change.

When Felicity pushed her hips down onto Oliver’s lap just a little bit more, applying more pressure to his cock, he seemed to remember why exactly what he had been supposed to do. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her panties, and he tugged them down her legs. Felicity helped him to get rid of them by shifting her hips and moving her legs until she was freed of the lace eventually. He dropped it to the floor carelessly.

Stroking his tongue against hers a little bit more firmly, his fingers started moving from her knee up her leg. His fingers brushed against the inside of her thigh. A trail of goosebumps followed his touch, and she felt even more turned on by his touch. She was impatient to feel his fingers where they had been before without any barrier between them this time.

It didn’t take too long for Oliver’s fingers to find the way to her center. They brushed between her folds and stroked from her entrance to her clit slowly. Although he was avoiding the most sensitive areas of her sex yet, Felicity moaned into the kiss already.

Felicity shifted her hips, continuing to rub her butt against Oliver’s lap and trying to make his fingers touch where she was aching for him already. Oliver made sure to avoid those spots, keeping his touch light. His fingers moved back and forth between her folds gently. Though the slow touch was intimate and loving, it was also so very teasing. As long as his fingers would move there instead of going a little deeper or a little higher, he would just keep her here where she was turned on and hungry for more without offering this more to her.

“Oliver.”

She whispered his name against his lips before she stroked her tongue into his mouth and moved it over the roof his mouth. Oliver groaned into the kiss, but Felicity already pulled back. He tried to chase her lips without success. Felicity was always staying right out of reach, letting Oliver close enough to feel her breath on his skin, but not close enough to touch her.

Their eyes were locked on each other, and Felicity could pinpoint the moment that he got what she was doing. He puckered his lips slightly, considering whether he should just give into the deal she had to offer – more kisses for his fingers inside of her core – or if he should play this game with her for a little while. The sparkle in his eyes told her that he decided on the latter.

As frustrating as this teasing was for her libido, it did so much good to her heart. She couldn’t put into words how much it meant to her that she and Oliver could be this silly even during sex. When they had talked during his rehearsal dinner and she had told him that what they had had was gone, she couldn’t have been more wrong. They were still the friends they had been all their lives. Now, they were just so much more than that too.

The thought made her smile, and Felicity couldn’t help but feel even more eager to play this little game of teasing with him. Making sure that Oliver’s eyes were still focused on hers, she let her tongue dart out and wetted the seam of her lips. Immediately, Oliver’s gaze flickered down to her lips, watching her tongue moving there. When his eyes found hers again, she saw that his pupils were widened.

Finally, his fingers moved lower and the tips of his forefinger dipped into her core. Felicity moaned, her back arching even more. Just the sensation of that one finger sliding inside of her slowly took her breath away.

Felicity could feel the slight shift of his finger as Oliver was about to pull it out before he had thrusted it in completely. Opening her eyes that had fluttered shut from her arousal before, she noticed that he was looking at her with slightly perked up eyebrow and quickly captured his lips in a passionate kiss. Fair as he was, Oliver stayed true to their deal. His finger continued moving into her hot core.

Once his finger was deep inside of her, he curled it, causing the tip of it to press against her slick walls. Felicity moaned into the kiss. She scraped her front teeth against Oliver’s bottom lip and enjoyed the rumble it elicited from deep in his chest. It was an almost primitive sound, one that was the result of a deep need to be with her.

Oliver moved his finger out of her, but he thrusted two fingers back inside the next moment. Felicity sucked in a deep breath. She had trouble resisting the urge to let her head fall back to catch her breath. She was sure that Oliver would pull out his fingers the very moment she broke the kiss though. Maybe she should have never started this little deal in the first place.

For a long time, Oliver thrusted his fingers in and out of her slick channel. She moved her hips in synch with his thrusts, allowing his fingers to go even deeper. When they brushed against the ruffled skin, she felt little sparks of fire building everywhere inside of her.

The movements of her hips sped up a little. Her butt thrusted down on Oliver’s groin all the more. She could feel his body tensing more and more in response. His muscular chest felt even harder against her back. His heart was beating erratically, and Felicity’s heart hurried to adapt to the rhythm of his. It wanted to be completely and utterly in synch with him, forgetting everything else there was around them.

As Oliver’s fingers thrusted in and out of her even faster and his thumb brushed against her clit, Felicity felt like he was fanning the sparks of fire that had been built inside of her before. With just a few more circles of his thumb on her clit, she felt those sparks of fires exploding. Lust and love spread inside of her, rushing through each one of her veins and spasms running through every single one of her muscles.

Once more she wondered if she had really just learned what an orgam was supposed to feel like when she had first slept with Oliver. Of course she knew that it was exaggerated. She had had orgasms before, good orgasms even. What she was experiencing with Oliver was so much more than that though. It was breathtaking, souldcrushing and mindblowing. It was probably a thousand other things too, but those three words summed it up perfectly. With Oliver, everything was just more intense.

While the last trembles of pleasure were running through her body, Felicity pulled back just enough to look at Oliver’s face. He was smiling at her softly, nuzzling her nose with his for a moment. Pulling his fingers out of her core, he lifted them to his mouth and licked her juices off of them. His eyes stayed firmly locked on hers.

A low moan or maybe the quietest of a whisper escaped her mouth. She felt even more turned on than she had been seconds ago. She felt like it should be impossible, but it was still so very true.

Felicity hurried to capture his lips in another searing kiss. She could taste herself on his lips. The thought of how much she knew that he enjoyed it made her moan into the kiss. She tried to turn around, so she could press her clit against his cock and thrust against him. Oliver’s arms tightened around her waist to keep her in place.

Another moan escaped Felicity at the thought of having him thrust into her from this position. He would be able to go so deep and reach ever single sensitive spot inside of her. Her ass would rub against his groin. If she spread her legs, he would certainly get the sign and stroke his hand against her sex slowly, increasing her pleasure even more.

Felicity’s walls were clenching down on emptiness hard as her fantasy was making her so very ready for him. Moving her arms behind her, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of his sweatpants.  

“These need to go off.”

“Gladly.”

Although she was sitting in his lap, Oliver lifted his hips off the bed easily and tugged his sweatpants and boxer briefs down in one go. Felicity grinned.

“Eager, Mr. Queen-Smoak?”

“Only if you continue calling me that, Mrs. Queen-Smoak.”

“Gladly, Mr. Queen-Smoak.”

Oliver released that sexy growl that always made Felicity’s toes curl. She stroked her tongue into his mouth and grazed her teeth against his bottom lip. Her hips lowered down onto his. His cock, hot and hard as she loved it most, resting between her slick folds.

They moaned into the kiss in unison, moving together slowly. The head of Oliver’s cock bumped against her clit every time he angled his hips forward. Felicity pressed her back closer to his chest, trying to get as close to him as humanly possible. If she could, she would just melt with him.

When she wasn’t able to take the teasing anymore since every cell in her muscle felt like it was on fire and each muscle was stretched to a breaking point, she reached between them. Her fingertips brushed against his cock. His warm skin felt like velvet despite the hardness between. She took hold of him a little more firmly to position him at her entrance, causing Oliver to gasp for breath and let his head fall back against the cushioned headrest of the bed.

Motivated by his reaction, Felicity decided to delay her plans of making him thrust into her. Instead, she stroked her hand up and down his length slowly, almost torturously slowly to be exact. She enjoyed the way Oliver’s eyes fluttered shut. He bit down on his bottom lip firmly, restraining himself from releasing a long moan.

Smiling, Felicity leaned her ears close to Oliver’s ear. She scraped her front teeth against his lobe before she whispered, “Don’t hold back.”

At that, Oliver’s eyes snapped open. The deep blue of his iris seemed to dig right into her head and probably even into her soul. It clawed itself around her heart and tightened its grip around it to a point that Felicity was sure her heart couldn’t jump out even if it tried to.

Felicity didn’t know if it was her gaze or something else. Either way, Oliver did what she had told him. He didn’t hold back any longer. Instead, he started thrusting into her hand slightly and didn’t bite back his sounds of pleasure anymore. He moaned out and released those little hisses and growls, spurning her on even more.

With a soft smile on her lips, Felicity just watched him. She doubted that anyone more handsome had ever been born. If their baby was going to be born and it turned out to be a boy, he might be even more handsome though.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, Felicity hadn’t noticed how close to the edge she had driven Oliver already. She was tempted to just continue with his treatments. She wanted to see him fall apart, see how his eyes turned hazy and his lips opened in wild panting. She wanted to feel his body trembling beneath her and feel his muscles shiver against her back.

Before she could do so, Oliver pushed her hand away and position himself at her entrance. He thrust up slightly, allowing just the thick tip of his cock to move inside of her wet core. It was enough for Felicity to lower her hips onto him, burying him inside of her completely.

Felicity had fantasied about what this would feel like before. Her fantasy didn’t live up to the reality though. Settled deep inside of her, he touched all those spots inside of her that felt like they had never been touched before. He stretched her inner walls, making them flutter around his hardness ever so softly.

They settled for a slow rhythm. Felicity’s back was arched slightly, lifting from Oliver’s chest. It only made her shoulder blades press more into his chest. Her head was placed against his shoulder. She could hear his erratic breath. It was ghosted over her the side of her face.

In the quiet of their home, their bodies moved together. They were completely in synch. Every movement of their hips matched the one of the other’s. Oliver moved his hands over her hips and her stomach. Felicity’s followed his there. She laced her fingers with his. That way, she felt anchored to him in all ways possible.

The long time of pleasuring each other before didn’t allow them to prolong this for too long. Rather sooner than later, they found themselves pulled to the edge. Felicity was panting so wildly that it made her chest hurt. The rhythm of her hips was uncontrolled. It was the same for Oliver. Felicity might not be able to feel much around herself, but she knew it was true.

With one final thrust, they came together. Their hands held onto each other firmly as he spilled into her. Her chest pressed to his back so close that she could feel his heartbeat against her ribs. They were both utterly and completely lost in each other.

_As this ring has no end, my love is also forever._ No words had ever felt truer.

 

* * *

 

Once Felicity had loosened her seatbelt, she kissed all three rings – her engagement ring and wedding band as well as Oliver’s wedding band – that she was carrying on a long necklace around her neck. Releasing a long breath that she didn’t know she had been holding, she let the ring disappear under the neckline of her dress. She could feel the cool metal in the valley between her breasts until it eventually took on the warmth of her skin.

Smiling nervously, she turned her head to look at Oliver. He was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at her with a soft and slightly calmer smile than Felicity herself could offer. His hand reached out, and he put it on top of her thigh, rubbing it up and down there slowly.

“You were right,” Felicity whispered. “Feeling those rings against my heart does relax me a little.”

Oliver smiled and squeezed her thigh gently, not saying a word.  He had been the one who had suggested that she should take a long necklace with her and string all their rings onto it until they could carry them again once they had told their parents about their wedding. He had just known that she needed this little rescue rope.

“Now, do we want to go in?”

Felicity sighed, looking at the Queen Mansion. She had been there so many times, and the house had almost felt like home to her. It probably had felt like a home to her once in a while. Looking at it now, she couldn’t deny that she was slightly nervous going in there though. Telling their parents about their marriage was not a small thing after all.

“Let’s do this,” she said nonetheless. “We are together after all.”

Oliver smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “I will do all the talking. All you have to do is be there and look pretty which comes naturally to you, so it shouldn’t be a problem. It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

Felicity smiled. “My hero.”

Oliver winked at her before they got out of the car. They went over to the door of the mansion and stepped in. Oliver held the door open for her to go through first, and Felicity brushed her fingers against his forearm and the back of his hand. After all, she knew that this was the last opportunity she got to touch her husband until they had told everyone else about them.

The moment Felicity looked away from Oliver, who was winking at her encouragingly and looking ahead herself instead, Felicity snapped her fingers away quickly. She hadn’t known that Raisa was standing there and smiling at them before.

“Ms. Felicity. Mr. Oliver.”

Raisa’s voice didn’t sound surprised. She just smiled back and forth between the two of them. Her smile carried an almost knowing expression like she had all the information she needed to understand what was going on. It only made Felicity more nervous about all of this.

“Oliver just picked me up because my townhouse is basically on the way from his loft to here, and we figured that it would just be a good idea to drive together, so at least I could drink a little and- no, wait. I was the one who was driving, so he can drink and-“

Clearing his throat, Oliver stepped right behind Felicity, so his chest pressed into her back. He put his hands to her hips and lowered his lips to the shell of her ear.

“Felicity, we are going to tell everyone the truth now anyway,” he told her with whispered voice. “Stop making up senseless lies. You need your energy for when our mothers find out.”

Felicity put on a forced smile and walked past Raisa quickly. If she wasn’t completely wrong, she heard her chuckle before she turned to head down into the kitchen.

In the living room, Felicity and Oliver were greeted happily by their family. Donna had already arrived, so they were the last ones to join the party. They were hugged by Moira, Donna, Thea and finally Robert. The latter of them kissed Felicity’s temple and shared a meaningful look with her after looking down on her stomach.

Felicity couldn’t help but smile. At least one of the Queen Men did actually see what she was seeing there, no matter how small that belly might be yet.

Squeezing her hands, Robert eventually let go of Felicity’s hands and sat back down in the very same armchair where he had sat before. Felicity guessed that he wanted to enjoy the show of Moira, Donna and Thea finding out about the Queen-Smoak Baby that would soon enter this world. Little did he know that he was in for a surprise too, Felicity thought to herself.

“Now, let’s get you two a glass of champagne-“

“Not me,” Felicity interrupted Moira quickly before she could pour her a glass of it. “I’d be happy with some orange juice.”

“Of course.”

Moira didn’t even ask about it. She just poured a glass of champagne for Oliver and handed Felicity the glass of orange juice she had asked for. Felicity didn’t miss the quiet smile on Robert’s face as he sipped at his own champagne. After all, he was the only one except Oliver and Felicity in this room who knew the real reason why she wasn’t drinking any champagne today.

“Now let’s toast to this Christmas Morning,” Moira suggested, “and the fact that we still celebrate it together although it’s a much smaller round than we thought it would be earlier this year.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and stared down on her feet, unable not to. As happy as she was that she and Oliver had finally found their way to each other, she really couldn’t deny that she felt guilty about the hearts that had to be broken for that to happen. It would have been a lot easier for everyone if they had just recognized their feelings for each other long before this.

Still, they all clinked their glasses before they took some sips. While everyone was busy with their drinks, Felicity shot a brief glance at Oliver. His eyes met hers briefly, and she could see him shrugging his shoulders. She knew that he had a plan how to tell their parents, but she couldn’t deny that she was a little worried that it would just take too long. She kind of just wanted to get it off her back.

“Oh, I haven’t gotten around to show you what Raisa found when she cleaned the attic,” Moira said. Putting her glass of champagne aside quickly, she grabbed Felicity’s hand and led her to the giant Christmas Tree that was decorated with baubles and other kind of decorations in red and golden colors. “Do you remember these?”

Moira pointed at three special baubles. They were painted in a golden tone, and a photo was placed on each. One was showing Oliver, one Felicity and the last one showed Thea.

“We made these with Raisa,” Felicity remembered and smiled softly. “Of course I remember.”

She turned her head back over her shoulder to look at Oliver, who was smiling back at her softly. She knew that he remembered as well as she did. Just like her, he had carried that memory close to his heart all those years.

“I know that you were kids back then, but I still thought that it was nice to use them again,” Moira said softly. “They remind me of the good old times. I know it might be a bit of a painful memory right now, but I do hope that you will get around doing something like this with your kids once the time has come.”

Again, Felicity shot a look back over her shoulder to look at Oliver. She was pretty sure that this would be the easier it would get to lead over to the baby they were having and the marriage they had decided to have with each other. Oliver just shook his head though, making her bite down on her tongue to bite back a sigh. She really didn’t know what else he was waiting for.

Moira clapped her hands together with a chuckle. “Now, that should be enough of the sentimental moments. I think it’s time to unwrap the presents.”

When Oliver winked at her, Felicity felt her heart skip a beat. She guessed that this was finally the moment that he would tell their families about everything that had happened in their lives lately. Although she had been impatiently waiting to get over with this, she couldn’t deny that she was growing even more nervous about it now that the moment was right ahead.

Technically, she knew that there shouldn’t be anything for her to be nervous about. Thea wouldn’t mind if she and Oliver got together. Moira and Donna would right out celebrate it after all these years that they had hoped for this to happen and they had been turned down. Even in their wildest dreams, she guessed that they hadn’t ever thought this day would come. Yet, here they were.

“So, I guess that we all have to search for our first gifts,” Oliver said with a long sigh, “and Felicity’s as well as mine just happen to be placed under the mistletoe together?”

Felicity bit down on her tongue, doing her best to hide her smile of amusement. After all, this had happened several times through the years. To the dislike of their mothers, they had always managed to get under the mistletoe and grab their gifts separately from each other though. They had grown up with their crazy obsession of hooking them up with each other long enough.

Donna and Moira shared a meaningful glance. While Donna was sitting down on the armrest of one of the chairs, resting one leg over the other, Moira stepped towards Oliver and Felicity. She set her glass of champagne aside once more. Reaching out her hand, she wrapped her fingers around one of their wrists and smiled at them.

“We all know that you have been through a lot these last couple of months,” Moira said, her voice as soft as Felicity had rarely ever heard it. “You two do know that Donna and I are just teasing you when we say that we think you would make beautiful babies or that we want you to be together or even when we place your Christmas gifts under a mistletoe.”

Felicity guessed she was right. If they hadn’t just been teasing, they would have never accepted Carter or McKenna to become parts of the family. Their teasing was quite aggressive though, at least at times.

“This year, we decided not to do anything like that out of respect of what you have been through.”

“Catch some rest, kids, before we start a new try,” Donna said with a smile and winked. “Just kidding.”

“Wo know that we don’t really stand a chance,” Moira added. “Just take it as a little inside joke of two old friends.”

In the back of the room, Robert was failing miserably to hide an amused smile. He was trying really hard to take some sips of his drink to distract him from his wife’s words. He had already caught his daughter’s attention though. Thea was looking back and forth between her father and the rest of the family with a deep frown, trying to understand what amused him so much.

Frowning deeply, Felicity turned her head and looked at Oliver once more. She guessed that his plans of pushing her under the mistletoe to find their gifts and kiss her there wouldn’t work as easily as he had planned it. For the first time, their mothers showed a little bit or remorse for all the pushing, shoving and teasing they had done through the last years, and it still turned out not to be exactly right.

Oliver hesitated, and she could almost see him playing their options through. She was sure that he knew as well as she did that just telling their mothers the truth wouldn’t be enough. They would think that this was an early April’s Fool’s joke or maybe a little revenge on all the teasing of the last years. They mothers would need visual proof that they were indeed together now.

Puckering his lips, Oliver turned towards Felicity. His gaze was meaningful, preparing her for whatever spontaneous solution he had just found, as he took the glass of orange juice from her. Together with his glass of champagne, he put it away on a close table. His eyes stayed locked with hers the entire time.

“Well, if they don’t push us down there this year…”

He quickly grabbed her hand and led her over to the place right in front of the fireplace where the mistletoe his parents always hid somewhere was placed. Looking at her intensely, he just waited until she gave him the most subtle nod of her head. With that, he wrapped his arms around her and bend her back until the only thing keeping her on her feet was the hold of his strong arms. The next moment, his lips pushed down on hers and everything around Felicity turned into a blur.

Felicity wasn’t sure if it was ever going to be different, and she knew with certainty that she never really wanted it to change. She loved the feeling of having everything and everyone around her disappear solely because Oliver’s lips were brushing against hers and his tongue was stroking against hers.

Felicity didn’t know how much time had passed when Oliver let go of her eventually. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. All she knew was that his eyes were looking at her intensely, and he was smiling from joy that, finally, the cat was out of the bag. From now on, they could kiss wherever they were and whatever they were doing because they were officially together.

Oliver brushed his lips against hers once more before he pulled her back into an upright position. His arms stayed wrapped around her tightly though, making sure that she wouldn’t move an inch away from him while they were looking at their families to see their reactions.

While Felicity felt her breath getting caught at the expressions in Donna’s, Moira’s and Thea’s faces, she could feel Oliver chuckling softly. The sounds weren’t audible, but she could feel the slight shaking of his chest. His lips brushed against her temple once more almost like he was telling her that just those facial expressions had been worth getting married.

As the silence continued, Felicity shot an insecure glance towards Robert. He winked at her and made a small gesture with his hand that seemed to ask them to talk about how this had happened. Maybe all the three women needed to stop staring at them like they were aliens was understanding how this had happened.

“Felicity and I discovered that we had feelings for each other a while ago,” Oliver said, rising to speak for them to Felicity’s relief. “Felicity and Carter had already broken up, but I was still with McKenna when it really hit us.”

With a low sigh, Felicity rested her head against Oliver’s chest and listened to the beat of his heart. She really wasn’t happy with how things had gone down with their engagements, but their cancelled engagements were more easily to accept than the thought of being married to the wrong people for the rest of their lives.

“Eventually, after some serious and much needed ass kicks, I finally realized that my feelings for Felicity were more than friendship and more than I had or could ever have with any other woman. McKenna, independent from myself, saw that too, and we agreed to cancel the wedding before it was too late.”

Felicity knew that Robert had pointed that out to Oliver before he had made his decision to cancel the wedding and that McKenna had come to the same conclusion around the same time Oliver had. It didn’t matter who had known it first though or how many times Oliver had needed to be told to cancel the wedding. At least to her, all that mattered was that he had eventually canceled the wedding.

“After my canceled wedding, we decided to give ourselves some times to find back to ourselves and let the situation cool down a little. We did go on a date very quickly though. It went great, and we eventually decided to be together because together is what makes us the happiest we could possibly be.”

Thea was smiling like a Cheshire Cat by now, looking back and forth between Oliver and Felicity. She was holding back on a squeal though it seemed to take a lot of her to do so. She was really excited about what she had just been told by her brother and the sister-in-law that she didn’t even know she had so far.

Donna and Moira on the other hand were still looking at them like they had just told them that they both thought they were adopted and were actually the children of some Mafia Bosses. Although, thinking about it, Felicity guessed that they would look less shocked about that.

“I knew about this by the way.”

Robert grinned happily and sipped at his champagne. Neither Donna nor Moira managed to even shoot him the briefest of glances though. They were looking like they were in deep shock about what they had just been told, or like they had just had a stroke. Maybe they needed to be resuscitated.

“Felicity and I are living together in her townhouse,” Oliver continued. He cleared his throat, showing the first sign of nervousness. “And we are having a baby.”

“Oh, this is a joke, right?” Donna asked, only partly convinced. “The pregnancy detail is just overdoing it a little and-“

“It’s no joke,” Oliver replied and shook his head. “Felicity and I are together, and we are expecting our first baby.”

Since Moira’s and Donna’s gazes both dropped down to Felicity’s lower stomach at that moment, Felicity quickly pulled the fabric of her dress closer over the small swell that had built there. Maybe seeing the baby bump, as barely visible as it was yet, was going to help them.

“Stop it,” Oliver whispered. “There is nothing to be seen there.”

“Of course it’s visible,” she told him in a whisper of her own. “Your dad can see it too.”

Robert nodded firmly. “It’s there, and, yes, I knew about this baby too.”

Donna and Moira exchanged a gaze of disbelief. They really couldn’t believe what their kids were telling them here. After all these years, it didn’t exactly surprise Felicity. The two old friends had probably long buried this dream of theirs.

Thea couldn’t hold back on her squeal now though. She released a loud chuckle, shaking her head. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach as the chuckles seemed to make her stomach ache slightly.

“This is like a cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie,” she said. “Just a thousand times better.”

“And this isn’t even everything.”

All eyes were turned onto Felicity as she finally found her voice. She angled her head back to shoot Oliver a quick smile. The warm smile he flashed her in addition to the rhythmic rubbing of his hand over the small of her back gave her the strength she needed to continue.

“Oliver and I got married in Las Vegas last week.”

Now, even Robert’s face showed surprise. This little piece of information was new even to him as it had been a well-kept secret between her and Oliver.

“I didn’t know about that,” he said. “Really?”

Felicity nodded her head and lifted the necklace she was wearing, so the three rings that were strung to it were visible.

“Oliver and I are Mr. and Mrs. Queen-Smoak now.”

There was a very long beat of silence. Felicity wondered if she should call a handful of ambulances, so everyone could be provided with medical care and some oxygen. She doubted that her mother or her mother-in-law were still breathing.

“Maybe we should have delivered the truth in smaller doses,” Felicity whispered to Oliver. “They are probably having a stroke.”

Thea was the first to snap out of her shock at Felicity’s words. With another loud squeal, she put her glass of champagne to the couch table and came running towards them. Her arms wrapped around Oliver and Felicity tightly as she hugged both of them at the same time.

“Congratulations,” she said, her voice still close to a squeal. “I am so happy for you guys, and I am so excited to be your baby’s godmother which I will be. You cannot stop me from that, no matter what. If I have to kill someone to get the title, I will do so.”

“We wouldn’t even try to do so,” Felicity said.

Thea pulled back a little, just to push Oliver away with one hand. She wrapped both of her arms around Felicity then, rocking her back and forth from side to side.

“Now, you are officially my sister.”

Felicity chuckled. “I always wanted to have a little sister, so I guess that’s great for both of us.”

Thea wanted to say something more, but Robert had already gotten up. Putting his hands to his daughter’s shoulders, he pulled her away from Felicity and almost pushed her into Oliver’s arms.

“Go and hug your brother now, Thea,” he told her with soft voice. “I need a moment with my daughter-in-law.”

While Thea grumbled a little when Oliver pulled her into his arms and rubbed the knuckles of his fingers over her scalp, Robert pulled Felicity against his chest. His grip was even stronger than Thea’s was.

“You have been part of this family since the first time you put your foot over the doorstep,” he whispered into her ear, “but I am still happy to welcome you into this family legally.”

Felicity chuckled. “I am happy to be part of it legally too. Officially a Queen now, I guess.”

Robert placed a firm kiss on her cheek before he pushed her an armlength away from her. He was still smiling all over his face, looking her up and down with an expression of almost disbelief. After all these years and despite knowing about her and Oliver before everyone else had, he couldn’t believe that he could really call her his daughter now.

He pulled her back against his chest and into another tight hug once more before he eventually let go of her and nodded towards his wife and Felicity’s mother.

“I guess I will check on the both of them now.”

Felicity nodded, pulling her bottom lip between her front teeth. Oliver quickly let go of Thea and wrapped his arms around Felicity from behind. His chin came to rest on his shoulder as they both looked at their mothers. Robert had stepped behind them and wrapped his arms around both of their shoulders, looking past them and the newlyweds.

“Who would have thought that we were actually going to be a family after all?”

Donna grabbed Moira’s hand firmly, anchoring herself to her. Her eyes were still directed at Oliver and Felicity though. With wide eyes, afraid to miss even the blink of an eye, she stared at the two of them. Her head turned from side to side slightly as she observed first one and then the other closely.

“This is not a joke, right?” she asked, completely flustered. “This is happening.”

Felicity smiled at her mother softly. Leaning back into Oliver’s arms, she turned her head to look at his content face for a moment. Still smiling, she looked back at her mother.

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head. “This is the most real thing that has ever happened to me I guess.”

Oliver kissed the side of her neck in response to her words and tighten his arms around her. She could feel him smile against her pulse point before he eventually rested his chin on her shoulder again. Felicity guessed that he wanted to watch his mother-in-law’s reaction like Felicity was doing already.

“Oh my god!”

With a happy squeal that just seemed to sum up her mother the way she was perfectly, Donna flung her arms around her daughter’s neck. She swayed her from side to side with so much force that Felicity was almost sure some of her vortexes would dislocate.

Soon, much sooner than Felicity had thought, her mother let go of her and almost pushed her away. Putting her hand to her lower stomach instinctively, Felicity shook her head and watched her mother stepping towards Oliver. She should have known that she was written off, the moment her mother knew that Oliver was officially part of her family now.

“Son,” she said, stepping in front of him. Her hands framed his face and squished it together, making him look like a fish. “I am officially allowed to call you that now, right?”

“Absolutely,” Oliver agreed. He tried to nodded his head, but Donna’s grip seemed to be too firm for him to move easily. “Mom.”

Donna squealed once more. Just like with Felicity, she wrapped her arms around Oliver’s shoulders now. She had to push up onto the tip of her toes, lifting even the high heels od her shoes a little bit off the floor, to fit her body against his comfortably. She swayed him from side to side like she had done with Felicity before too. As soon as she pulled way, she squished his face against.

“Oh, I am so happy. I have no words for it,” she said. “I might be a little mad that you chose to elope, but I am sure that I will be able to forgive you once Moira and I planned a real wedding party for you. Of course you need a traditionally Jewish wedding. Don’t worry though. I will take care of it. I know exactly what I am doing. It will be fabulous.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. She had known this would come, but she would talk herself out of it for as long as possible. With a baby on the way and the task of raising a newborn at hand, she got that they had a little bit time. Her mother certainly wanted to see her dressed in a long wedding dress with lots of tulle. She would wear it for her sake (probably!), but she would wait for as long as possible to give into it.

“Oliver, I already know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to Felicity. It won’t always be easy with her. She is stubborn and very driven at times, but I have trust that you have the patience to take her as she is and still love her with all of your heart. Like I said, it won’t be easy, and-“

“Mom.”

“-there will be times that you will feel like you need to scream and let out all of your frustration and-“

“Mom.”

“-just breathe. If just happens, you can always come to me, and I will be there for you and lend you an ear to listen. After all, I know how difficult it can be to live with Felicity and-“

“Mom.”

Felicity stepped between Oliver and her mother decidedly now. Putting her hands to her mother’s shoulders, she took a few steps forwards. Her mother had to take a few steps back in response. Effectively distancing her mother from Oliver, she leaned her lips against her mother’s ear.

“Stop it. Don’t scare him away.”

Turning back around, Felicity hurried back to Oliver’s side. He looked at her amusedly, knowing how to take her mother. Still, she brushed a kiss to the underside of her jaw.

“She’s already your mother-in-law, so all second thoughts are too late already. And for the record, if we get divorced, you can have my mom, but I want your dad.”

Oliver chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his chest tightly. His lips brushed against her forehead, and she could almost feel him an _I love you_ whispering against her skin.

“Moira!” Donna’s excited squeal directed their attention back to her. “Our kids are together now. Or babies are having a baby.”

Finally, Moira seemed to realize that this really wasn’t a dream. She stepped towards Oliver and Felicity, reaching out her hands for them. Oliver and Felicity both placed a hand in one of Moira’s and looked at her expectantly.

“I couldn’t be prouder.”

That was all she said before she wrapped her arms around Felicity. Unlike her own mother, Moira was only touching her carefully like she was afraid that she could break her. She stroked a hand over the back of Felicity’s head and down her back, the same way she had already done when Felicity had still been a child.

“Oliver couldn’t have chosen anyone better,” Moira told her, “and I couldn’t be happier to call you my daughter, even legally now. You are going to be a great mom.”

Moira pulled back just enough to look at Felicity’s face. She brushed her fingers through her hair, looking at her intensely. Felicity almost felt like time was passing right in front of Moira’s eyes. It was like she saw her when she had still been a kid and had just entered the Queen Mansion after being taken away from her home one moment. Then, the next moment, a thousand different images of Felicity as she had seen her through the years were showing in front of her eyes. Eventually, it seemed to have come back to the woman in front of her though, her daughter-in-law.

“Thank you,” Felicity said, not knowing what else to say.

Moira smiled at her, brushing her fingers against her cheek for a moment. She turned toward her son then, pulling him into a tight hug too.

“Congratulations, Oliver,” she whispered and kissed his cheeks. “I admit that I wasn’t always happy with the decisions you made, especially when it came to women, but this is something I don’t only approve to but support with all of my heart. I think it makes all the wrong decisions before irrelevant. After all, it led you to where you have always been supposed to be.”

“I made the big hit,” Oliver said, his eyes locked with Felicity’s as he said that. “She’s the jackpot.”

“Yes, she is,” Moira agreed.

As soon as his mother took a step back from Oliver, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back against him once more. His arms wrapped around her waist and he bend her back like he had done before when they had revealed their relationship to the others. Just like then, he captured her lips in a gentle kiss that made Felicity sigh out against his lips.

Now that the secret was finally out of the bag, Felicity felt like a giant weight had been taken from the top of her chest. She hadn’t even been able to understand how much she had needed everyone important to her to know about her and Oliver. Only now, they weren’t living a dream anymore. They were living the truest of lives. Together.

Under the joint squeals of their mothers – a sound that Felicity had never believed could fall from Moira Queen’s lips – their lips parted. Oliver bumped his nose against hers playfully before he brought her back into an upright position. His lips brushed against hers once more, and he held out the flat palm of his hand.

“What-?”

Before Felicity could end her question, Oliver cocked his head. The look he shot her was enough for her to understand. She grinned, taking off the necklace and letting the three rings fall into the palm of Oliver’s hand. He quickly pushed his own wedding band onto his ring finger before he grabbed her ringers with his thumb and forefinger and pushed it down onto her finger. It seemed to be one of his favorite things to do now.

Smiling, Felicity straightened up onto the tip of her toes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him once more. Before her lips could brush against Oliver’s, her mother’s words distracted her though.

“Finally, our fondest hope for them came true.”

“It seems like all our attempts of marrying them off to each other were successful after all.”

“We both just knew what is best for them. We are their mothers after all. Mother’s always know best.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Moira nodded her head firmly. “I wished our kids were just a little less stubborn, so we could have planned their shared wedding these last months and not the weddings we did plan these last months.”

With a low grumble that only Oliver could hear, Felicity let her head drop against Oliver’s shoulder. He chuckled lowly in response and tightened his arms around her waist.

“We will never hear the end of it, will be?”

“No,” Felicity replied and sighed against his shoulder before she leaned her head back and looked at his face with a smile. “Wanna know the good thing about this, though?”

Oliver smiled back at her, and Felicity’s heart stumbled in response to how enamored he looked. She doubted that she would ever get used to the feeling it elicited from her when Oliver’s eyes were locked with hers. It made warmth and content spread in every cell of her body it seemed.

“What is it?” Oliver asked.

“We can roll our eyes about it together.”

At that, Oliver’s lips spread into an even wider smile. He lifted a hand and brushed the knuckles of his fingers against her cheek. Felicity leaned her face into the touch of his hand.

“Together,” he confirmed.

With that, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Felicity’s once more. Together was now the keyword to assure them happiness, just like it had always been. Only now they really knew how true it really was, and they would never forget it. Partly, because their mother probably wouldn’t allow them to forget it anyway.


	22. Ikigai

_= Reason for living (Japanese)_

 

Within the last seven and a half months, Oliver had thought time and time again that he couldn’t possibly be happier or even just more content. Yet, time and time again, life had proved him wrong. It had just continued making him happier and even more content.

Having both of his girls sleeping in his arms, Oliver was really sure that there was no enhancement possible anymore now. Having both of his girls sleeping in his arms was all the happiness and all the content life could possibly offer to him. There was nothing more life could give him without making his chest burst from all the happiness he was feeling.

Smiling softly, Oliver looked at Felicity. She was nestled against his side, her arms wrapped around him loosely. Her head was resting on his chest, her cheek snuggled to shirt with her nose pressing against it slightly like she wanted to breathe him in with every breath she took in. She looked peaceful as Oliver guessed that giving birth to their baby girl just a couple of hours ago had left her completely out of energy.

He brushed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head and watched the way she smiled in her sleep. She took in a deep breath, pushing her nose even more against his chest. A long sigh fell from her lips before her muscles relaxed against his body again. She just continued sleeping, catching a little more rest.

Oliver turned his head to focus on his other girl. Just like her mother, the little girl was sleeping in his arms. Even in her sleep, she was moving her tiny fingers together like she wanted to hold onto something. Without any hesitation, Oliver combed his fingers through Felicity’s hair one last time before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and placed his digit between his daughter’s hands. Her fingers wrapped around it, holding onto it tightly and, just like her mother before, she released a long sigh.

In all his life, Oliver had seen maybe three newborn babies. He didn’t have much experience with newborns, and he had never been exactly interested in them either. Still, Oliver knew without any doubt that his daughter was the most beautiful and entirely perfect baby that had ever been born. His whole life would revolve around her from now on.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?”

Surprised, Oliver turned his head to find that Felicity had woken up. She was looking at their daughter. While her entire face showed tiredness, her eyes were wake as the same love he could feel in his heart was sparkling in the expression in her eyes. A soft smile was playing on her lips when she lifted her hand and put it to Oliver’s on their daughter’s stomach.

“The most beautiful girl that has ever been born,” Oliver agreed in a whisper, nodding his head. “No offense.”

Felicity chuckled and placed a kiss on his shoulder through his shirt before she replied, “None taken.”

They stayed like this for a long moment, just watching their daughter and enjoying the moment as the little family they were now. It was still so new, but it felt so incredibly right. Since he and Felicity had left the friendzone and finally become lovers, it had always been that way. Everything about them and their family was absolutely right.

The last year had brought a lot of troubles. Everything between Felicity moving to Starling City to their wild Las Vegas wedding had been utter chaos. There were so many things they regretted about how they had handled things. The cheating and the lying and the denial of what was right had just been utterly wrong, and there was no apology for what they had done. It would forever be a dark spot in their lives, but they wouldn’t let that taint what they had. It wouldn’t do good to either of them now that they were together and everything about it was finally right.

Even after that wedding, there had still been a lot of trouble as everyone around them had started to get used to them being together and having a family together and leading a company together. People had whispered behind their backs, reminding them of all the chaos they had created and all the people they had hurt with their actions.

This last year had been incredibly tough. It would forever be with them, but they would still move forward. There was so much they still had to enjoy, and they couldn’t let any past mistakes stop them from that.  

Hence, it had been the best kind of surprise when their baby girl’s birth had worked out without any unexpected troubles.

Ariana Rose Queen-Smoak had been born at 10am after thirteen hours of labor. At 19.6 inches and 7.2 pound, she was perfectly healthy. Her lungs, as her loud cries had proved, had developed perfectly during the last nine months of pregnancy. Her breathing had been deep and even, her heartbeat perfectly strong. Oliver couldn’t have been any prouder.

Holding Ariana now and feeling her heartbeat against his chest, Oliver still couldn’t believe that this tiny human being was made by Felicity and him. He doubted that he’d ever really believe it. All he could hope for was that he’d eventually get used to it.

Moving up the bed a little, so she could sit up and lean back into the pillows, Felicity reached out her arms to take Ariana from him. Oliver brushed a kiss against the little girl’s forehead before he handed her over to her mother. As soon as Ariana was rested safely in Felicity’s arms, kept warm against her chest, he wrapped both of his arms around the two of them.

Holding them felt like his most favorite thing to do now. Growing up with expensive toys and other luxurious stuff had made it hard to really appreciate what he had. He had taken too many things for granted, but that was different now. He knew that he would never take Felicity’s or Ariana’s presence in his life for granted. Never.

“Everything I love is right in my arms,” Oliver whispered against the crown of Felicity’s hair. “I have never been happier.”

Felicity smiled, angling her head back. “You’ve said that a couple of times before already.”

“I know.” Oliver chuckled. “And I meant it every time.”

The expression in Felicity’s eyes softened, and she rested her head back against his shoulder, leaning on him. Without saying anything, she took in his face thoroughly. The corners of her lips twitched as she was still smiling at him.

“This last year brought a lot of changes.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Good changes though.”

“The best of changes.” Felicity smiled, turning her head to look at Ariana again, who was still sleeping so very peacefully. “Especially as long as she sleeps like an angel.”

“Let’s hope that is not going to change when we take her home tonight.”

Even if that changed and Ariana turned out to be one of the babies that cried basically all day, Oliver knew that he’d still be as happy as he possibly could be. He’d be exhausted without any doubt, but he’d still be happy. He was together with the woman he loved more than he had ever loved anyone else, and they got to raise their baby together. There was nothing that could overshadow this happiness for him.

“Speaking of home,” Oliver said eventually, clearing his throat, “there is something we have to discuss.”

“I know.” Felicity sighed. “We have to find a new place to stay. Our townhouse just doesn’t offer enough space to raise Ariana there the way we want to raise her. I love our townhouse, but I know we have to move out. I am not even trying to make finding a new place harder than it ought to be, but I just couldn’t picture the three of us in any of the places we saw and-“

“I know,” Oliver hurried to say and tightened his arms around her. “I know you are not trying to make it harder. I actually didn’t like any of the houses we have seen enough to live there either. We are both aiming for perfect, and I think that is what we deserve.”

After everything they had been through and all the obstacles they had had to overcome, they didn’t deserve anything less than perfect. They had had a hard start, so he’d make sure that everything was exactly the way they wanted it to be from now on.

“At first, I thought that there was no perfect place for us to live,” Oliver said quietly. “I thought that we just wanted too much. I mean we wanted everything and everything at once. I thought maybe that was the problem.”

Felicity frowned, looking at his face intensely. He could see that she didn’t like the thought because, just like he himself, she really wanted their home to be perfect. She didn’t want to settle for second best.

“Then I figured that the reason we didn’t find something that clicked with us was that we were searching at the wrong spots,” Oliver continued after a moment. “We already have our perfect home. We just forgot about it.”

Scrunching up her nose slightly, Felicity cleared her throat. “If you suggest kicking your parents out of the mansion and moving into that giant palace ourselves, I-“

“No, no.”

Oliver chuckled at the bare panic in Felicity’s eyes. It was the same expression that had been on her face back when she had been a kid and she had first moved into the mansion with her mother. Once she had been over the shock of being uprooted from her home and her life in Las Vegas and had been dragged to Starling City instead, she had taken in her new home with the same disapproving expression that was on her face now.

That look on her face back then had told him that Felicity wouldn’t want to live in the mansion or any place that was similar to it. She wasn’t the kind of woman to live in a palace with a dozen of people that made sure the chores were taken care of. She loved a smaller life, something intimate that was just for the family, just like he himself preferred it too.

“Our treehouse.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue as he watched the different reactions playing on Felicity’s face, almost the same way they did after he had proposed to her in their kitchen months ago. She looked confused, then amused and finally confused again.

“The treehouse is nice and cozy, but it lacks space. I mean it’s even smaller than our townhouse. Significantly smaller, I might add. I don’t mind living in a tiny home with you because I could never feel crowded as long as it’s just us, but that treehouse is maybe a hundred square feet which is even little for the most in-love people. It’s also quite difficult to reach with a car or even a stroller, never mind the lack of electricity and water supply.”

Biting down on his tongue, Oliver just continued to watch Felicity. He guessed that she still had to be very exhausted from giving birth because she didn’t talk herself into one of her rambles that would just go on and on until he framed her face with his hands and kissed her. Finally, that was how he could end her rambles instead of putting a hand to her shoulder and making her stop that way.

Felicity didn’t miss his silence, and she could probably see his amusement on his face too. Pursing her lips, she cocked her head and looked at him intensely.

“You don’t mean that we should move into the treehouse.”

“No,” Oliver replied lightly, tapping the tip of his finger against the tip of her nose. “Dad agreed to clear some of the forest land though. That way, we can build a house there, and we will have our treehouse in our garden.”

The moment he had thought back to the treehouse, that they hadn’t visited since the morning of Christmas Eve because Oliver hadn’t wanted Felicity to climb up that ladder anymore, he had turned the car and visited his father at home. On his way to the mansion, he had already been able to see what their home would look like. He knew exactly what cozy, little house they would build there, and he had been eager to start building it since the moment his father had agreed with the plan.

“You hear that, Ariana?” Felicity whispered to their daughter. “Daddy wants us to die like in all the good horror movies we will watch together in twenty years.”

Oliver was temporarily distracted by Felicity calling him ‘daddy’. The word made his heart stumble. She had said it before, but now it felt even more true. He really was a daddy now, daddy of a perfectly healthy and unbelievably beautiful baby girl.

Soon, he focused back onto the conversation at hand though. “Don’t worry. The forest is well protected. Dad showed me the location of the treehouse on the map. We can build a path from northwest. That way, not too much of the forest has to be cleared to lead to our home. It would also be far enough away from the mansion for us to enjoy some time alone and yet close enough so Raisa can drop Ariana at my parents’ place if we have some spontaneous meetings coming up late.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “You stole Raisa from your parents?”

“No.” Oliver smiled innocently and brushed his fingertips over Ariana’s scalp. “They would have never let me steal Raisa. Ariana stole her.”

Oliver could see how hard she was trying to bite back her amusement and to look at him judgingly instead. She puckered her lips and cocked her head.

“You used our daughter to snap your parents’ house staff away from them?”

“I would have used everything and everyone to snap Raisa away from them,” Oliver replied matter-of-factly. “It’s Raisa after all.”

Felicity smiled, and he was sure that he had made the right decision. Raisa had helped raising the two of them. She was the right one to help raising Ariana now.

“So, you agree on Raisa,” he stated. “What do you say about the idea of moving into the forest and towards our treehouse?”

Felicity’s smile widened even more. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Felicity straightened up a little and brushed her lips to the underside of his chin. “I love it very much.”

Tightening his arms around her, Oliver leaned in and captured Felicity’s lips in a gentle kiss. Their tongues moved together in a slow dance. Everything inside of Oliver focused on Felicity for a moment. All that mattered was her and all that existed was her.

The low cry Ariana released made Oliver pull back and break the kiss to watch his newborn daughter instead. She was squirming in Felicity’s arms slightly, telling them that she was awake now. Her eyes opened every now and then, but they were never opened for long, and she didn’t manage to really look at anything for long yet. According to the books he had read, Oliver knew that it would take another few weeks until Ariana would really look at him.

Oliver had no words to describe how much he loved Ariana. If anyone had asked him twenty-four hours ago, he wouldn’t have thought that it was possible to love someone this much. He had loved this baby the moment Felicity had told him that she was pregnant. It was nothing compared to how much his love had increased when he had been able to first hold Ariana in his arms though.

Nothing would ever be able to compare to that again.

“Will you tell me now?”

Perking up his eyebrows, Oliver looked at Felicity. “Tell you what?”

Felicity smiled. “The secret you shared with Ariana during our wedding night.”

Oliver couldn’t help but smile. So many things had happened before and after that night. Still, Felicity remembered that moment of maybe fifteen seconds when he had whispered something to their unborn baby. He shouldn’t be surprised and he wasn’t actually surprised. It was just so much like Felicity to remember something like that.

“It wasn’t actually a secret,” Oliver replied eventually while Felicity’s gaze was still lingering on him. “I asked her something.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrow. “What did you ask her?”

“I asked her to be a girl:”

Surprised glimpsed in Felicity’s eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Oliver chuckled almost a little embarrassedly and massaged the back of his neck. “I grew up with girls. I mean my little sister is a girl, and my best friend is and has been a girl for as long as I can remember. I get along with girls, better than I do with boys, I guess. It felt like a legit question to ask, and, as you can see, Ariana and I have that special bond where she does what I ask of her.”

Grinning, Felicity cocked her head. “Do you need more tutoring in biology? I mean that is not actually how the sex of a baby is determined.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” Felicity replied with a wide smile, “but I leave it to you. I don’t want to disillusion you.”

“You couldn’t disillusion me even if you tried to,” Oliver replied, pecking her lips. “Not today.”

They turned their heads to watch Ariana silently once more. The little girl had fallen back asleep in Felicity’s arms peacefully. She was sleeping quietly, breathing in and out with an even rhythm that Oliver felt weirdly comforting.

When Felicity yawned, Oliver rubbed his hand up and down her arm slowly. Placing a kiss against her hairline, he leaned his cheek against the crown of her head. Felicity sighed and snuggled even closer to him in response.

“Are you tired?”

“Exhausted rather than tired,” Felicity replied, yawning once more. “Getting this baby out of me was quite exhausting.”

“I wouldn’t have noticed.” Oliver grinned. “I mean you did have enough energy to almost break my hand with your death grip.”

Felicity glared at him with mocking anger. “Really? Do you want to switch places the next time?”

For a second, Oliver considered if he should tell Felicity that she had just alluded to having a second baby. He decided to keep the conversation lightly though. They had been parents for less than twenty-four hours so far, so maybe they should delay the planning of any siblings for a while. They should at least explore what it was like to be parents of one kid before they even considered adding another into the mix.

“Oh, I don’t think I would look that graceful when I tried to do that.”

Felicity pursed her lips, knowing that he was just teasing her, and pushed her elbow into his ribs. Oliver just chuckled though.

“Maybe you should sleep for a little longer,” Oliver suggested, brushing his fingers through Felicity’s hair when she yawned a third time within this minute. “Catch some rest. You had an exhausting day.”

Making herself more comfortable at his side, Felicity angled her head back to look at him. She was frowning slightly.

“I am surprised our mothers didn’t show up yet to argue who Ariana looks like and to hand us all kind of unnecessary and unwelcome advice.”

Oliver chuckled, kissing her temple. “They arrived here eight minutes after we texted them that Ariana was born.”

“How did you manage to keep them out?” Felicity asked in a whisper. “I imagined them storming in here and ripping Ariana from our arms the moment they arrived.”

Oliver didn’t doubt that they had the power to do so. When they had arrived here right after Felicity and Ariana had fallen asleep, he had had trouble to keep them out of the room. Only telling them that both of them were fine but in need of some well-deserved sleep, they had agreed to sit down in front of the room and wait until the two had caught some rest.

“On our wedding day, I vowed to always protect the two of you, so that is what I will do.”

Felicity frowned. “I don’t think that was in your wedding vows.”

“I think it was.”

“I don’t think so.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Then I vow that to you now. Felicity, I will always protect Ariana and you.”

“Even from our mothers?”

“Especially from our mothers.”

Felicity smiled warmly. “Good.”

Oliver leaned in and brushed another kiss against Felicity’s lips, sealing his promise to her. He loved his two girls so much that he knew he’d jump in front of a car to protect them. Handling their mothers might be more dangerous than jumping in front of a car, but he’d do that too. He’d do everything to keep them safe.

“I’d still like to wait a little before we introduce Ariana to anyone else,” Felicity told him when she rested her head against his shoulder once more. “Just until we get used to this.”

She tightened her arms around Ariana when she said those words. Oliver felt his arms tighten around the two of them too.

“So, I tell them to come back in eighteen to twenty years?”

Felicity smiled. “Spending twenty years just like this sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah,” Oliver agreed. “Sounds perfect to me too.”

Everything that included Felicity, Ariana and him to be together for as long as possible sounded perfect to him. He could forever live in his moment as long as he just got to hold them.

When Felicity’s lids grew heavy again and tiredness threatened to take her away, she handed Ariana back to him. Oliver wrapped an arm around their daughter safely and put the other around Felicity’s shoulders while she was snuggling back into her sleeping position at his side. It took less than a minute for her breath to even out and her muscles to relax as she fell asleep.

Oliver placed a kiss into her hair and rested his nose there to breathe her in. As soon as Ariana moved in his arms, he turned his head to look at his daughter. His cheek stayed rested against the crown of Felicity’s head though.

“Hey,” he whispered quietly when Ariana turned her head right and left, her eyes opening and looking around. “Did you have enough sleep for now?”

Ariana let out a little sound, not really a cry but something like a sweet sigh. Oliver smiled as it was a new sound for him, one he felt already carving into his heart.

“Well, now that it’s only us again,” he continued to whisper, not wanting to wake Felicity and not wanting to frighten Ariana either, “I guess it’s time for me to give you a first taste of daddy’s wisdom. I wouldn’t really call myself wise, especially given who your mommy is, but I think I have three little things to tell you that will make your life a lot easier. Ready to hear them?”

Again, Ariana let out a little sigh. Oliver knew it was probably just his imagination, but he felt like his little girl was turning a little in his arms like she was trying to get even close to him.

“Okay, here’s the first,” he said and lifted Ariana a little close to his face. “There are no people on this earth that love you as much as mommy and daddy do. Some people might tell you that you have been an accident or the circumstances surrounding your birth have been crappy or whatever, but please don’t ever doubt that mommy and I wanted you and loved you from the first second on. The moment we knew about you, our entire life revolved around you, and it always will. We two will always love you, no matter what you say or do. You can always come to us.”

He was sure that it was the most obvious of the three wisdoms he wanted to share with her.

“The second is not less important.” Oliver smiled. “Always chase your dreams, no matter how unreachable they seem. If you really want something, you gotta work to make it happen. It might be scary and it might cause trouble, but you can only be happy if you aim for what you really want and need. Always.”

For way too long, Oliver had tried to hold onto what was right and what he thought was supposed to be. It had almost cost him what he really wanted and what he really needed in his life. It had almost cost him everything he was holding in his arms right now.

“And the last wisdom for your first day on earth,” Oliver continued after a moment, “is that mommy always knows best. I mean mothers in general always know best, but your mommy in particular. I mean she is the smartest woman I have ever met, and I really hope that you grow up to as beautiful and as smart as she is. And because she is your mother, she will love you and just know best what is good for me. Trust me on that because my mommy knew what was best for me too, long before I knew it actually.”

These last months since he and Felicity had told their mothers about everything that had happened, they hadn’t stopped telling them that they could have found this blissful kind of happiness if they had just listened to them. Oliver knew that they were right. If he and Felicity hadn’t fought against their mother’s wishes for them to be together for so long, maybe they would have found their way to each other more easily.

Sometimes, people just had to learn the hard way. It might have been more comfortable and less painful for everyone involved otherwise, but Oliver wasn’t sure if he’d be here, with his wife and his daughter in his arms, if they had taken the easy way.

Oliver lifted Ariana in his arms until he could brush his lips against her forehead. When he opened his eyes, for almost a second, it looked like Ariana was looking right back at him. The next moment, she was squirming in his arms again slightly, turning her head to the right and to the left like she was just getting used to having a body she could move.

It was adorable and heartwarming at the same time.

“Oh, and Ariana,” he whispered, leaning his head down once more to whisper into her ear with a wide grin on his lips, “we don’t tell your grannies about this. Ever.”


End file.
